Many of you may have noticed that I make it a point to avoid "blog" when making entries here or on Outpost Nine. There are quite a few people doing me the favor of reading; I'd like to give everyone something more entertaining than what I did today, or what TV show I'm interested in, or what random place I went to. But you'll have to forgive me if I slip into a blog post every now and then, and today is one of those occasions.
I've been in Japan for five years now. And I'm at the point where I'm wondering if my time in Japan is at an end.
I no longer like my job. There are various reasons why, none of which I really want to get into detail about. I would quit now if I could, but that's not really a viable option. My contract ends at the beginning of 2009 - I have decided that I will not renew. So the question now is - what to do from there? There's a few jobs I can think of here in Japan that I really want to do - if I can land those, I'll stay. If not...then maybe it's time to go back?
The funny thing about work is - it's work. Not everyone is fortunate to love their job. And everyone has to deal with bad working conditions regardless of what country you live in. Annoying bosses, difficult co-workers, stressful projects and what not - these things are not exclusive to Japan. But I am starting to feel like I'm just not suited for the Japanese workforce, especially as a foreigner.
One of the most common jobs for foreigners in Japan is that of the English teacher. It requires little to no prior experience or skills, and is commonly available. But, even if you actually like teaching, the job has a very real limit. The system was designed to only accomodate an individual worker for a limited time - maybe two or three years, tops. As such, institutions aren't interested in cultivating employee relations for a long and rewarding future, but rather getting the most out of you until you leave and someone else takes your place. Not to mention that, unless you plan on becoming a teacher, the job gives you no credentials or experience towards finding employment in another field.
For the few who do venture outside of the English teaching world, now you have to deal with the Japanese workforce, which is notorious in its own right. In Japan, working hard means working long. Good workers are the ones catching the late trains home everyday. While I'm not at all opposed to overtime when the situation calls for it, I don't like the idea of having to stay late just for the sake of staying late. I have a life outside of work - I have a new wife, a baby coming sooner or later (no, she's not pregnant now...), and hobbies and what not. If everything I have to do at work is done on time with no errors, then at the very least I want to be able to go home and see my family. Unfortunately, doing so means you're a lazy worker who isn't motivated to help the company succeed.
Also, Japanese society is built upon social hierarchy - everyone has their place. And there's little to no equality, you're either higher up on the ladder, or lower. Those who are higher love to kick around those who are lower. They got kicked around when they were juniors, and now that they're seniors its their turn to do the kicking. I saw this plenty when I was an English teacher; sannenei bossed around ichinensei because they had seniority, and even in the teachers room, older teachers loved to take the piss out of younger teachers (see: The Story of Ms. Cinderella). While this is plenty unpleasant on its own, also factor in that we foreigners may never get that seniority status. After all, we are outsiders - Japanese people have a hard enough time factoring us into the social ladder at all, much less at the top of it.
After five years, I've more or less gotten used to living in Japan. Random stares and McDonalds English menu flips don't bother me much anymore, if at all. I love living in Kyoto, and even have favorite date spots I like to take the wife to on weekends. I'm very comfortable with my life here...outside of work. I'd love to stay here a few more years at least. Of course, the big problem is money.
I have decided that I want to be a writer. Obviously, I've got a book brewing about my experience in Japan, but not just that - fiction, non-fiction, I just want to write. And if I may turn my modesty off for a second here, I think I've got some degree of talent for it. While I am still young, I feel that this is something I should go ahead and get started with. The problem with writing as a career though is, until you "make it" in the profession, that it doesn't have the stable income as a regular 9-5 job. I am an amateur, and I don't know how long it will take until I can depend on writing as my career. Meanwhile, I have a wedding coming up in less than three months that I already can't pay for, and past that regardless of whether I stay in Japan past January or not I'm going to need money just to live and take care of my family.
So, I've got a lot to try and think about and figure out. And not a whole lot of time in which to do it. If I told you I had even a general idea of what to do or how to do it, I'd be lying. All I can really do now is work with what I've got and try to make things happen. I would like to stay in Japan for a few more years for various reasons, but right now its too early to tell if I'll be able to or not. I hate that everything's so uncertain but, that's just how it is at the moment. I'll just have to find a way to make it work.
Thanks for reading my ramblings. Next time I'll have something more entertaining, I promise.
(Az's Note: This entry's title, "I Am a Cat", is a reference to a novel of the same name written by Japanese novelist Natsume Soseki. There are English translations of the book available for those who may be mildly interested. Why I picked it for this entry's title...while it has little relevance to the entry's content, this is my attempt to avoid using something like "Life" or "Musings" or something else horribly cliche.)
Indeed, times can become tough. Just hang in there for now, things will ease with time. Best of luck to you.
Good to hear from you Az. The position you're in can really be a pain in the ass, but you are bound to find something you like to do if you just keep searching for it. You have a loving and supporting fiancee and that's something not a whole lot of people can fall back on, so keep that in mind when you're feeling down.
I was wondering how well the acclimating thing was going, and figured the merciless 'ganbatte is mandatory' kind of unspoken code might wear a foreigner down with all due haste. Kudos on sticking with it this long, seriously.
Hopefully, Mrs. Az is at least open to the idea of not being in Japan for an extended period, otherwise your options are somewhat more limited and my sympathies are with you. Best of luck regardless landing those jobs you mentioned. Maybe nailing that 1-kyu is a key to the process?
If you still doing the donations thing, I'll see what I can do about pitching a couple hundred your way in a week or two when I'm sure this wisdom tooth stuff I did today isn't going to bite me in the ass any further than it already has. Be well, and fight the good fight.
I read that book for a class. Very enjoyable. Actually,that book reminded me to go check this site. >.>
Oi!
Mate, I don't know if you noticed but Kyoto is _the_ worse place to be as a GJ. Even if you're a Japanese not born in near Kyoto-area you become gaijin. I moved from Europe to Japan and let me tell you that working long hours is just as same as anywhere else, just the principles are different. All you wrote in your post stands, however you shouldn't be looking so down on everything. Once you start understanding how things work here, and most importantly, stop asking questions that start with "why" then you're completely ready to be here. I'm pretty aware of the fact you've already known all that, but that's the way wheel turns here. If you don't like it, the customs are open 24/7, just like Lawson and K :P
Apart from that. Gaining financial freedom is everyone's dream, and if you want to become writer you cannot count on hours with your family, especially not in the beginning. Stay with your current job, start writing your novel (which I believe is going to be a success and I'd be the first to buy it!), and after you've sold thousands of copies, be ready to deliver next. Being your own boss is the biggest bitch you'll ever come across, believe me when I say it.
Cheerz
Leon
Good luck with this whole mess, Az. I feel you'll probably need it.
Silly Japan, burning people out of their funny!
To be a bit more serious, I'd like to say that I wish you can find a way to stay in Japan. It just wouldn't be the same otherwise.
Ganbare, Az-sensei, eh?
I've read Wagahai wa Neko De Aru (I Am a Cat), interesting book =D Would I be out of line if I asked if you've read Botchan?
I've written fanfics for nine years now (don't look at me like that...), since I was fifteen, and I wrote original short stories before that. I've been wanting to branch back out into original stories, but at the same time I've been kinda wanting to write a memoir of sorts, mostly of my life for those same nine years.
(Fanfic writing did help keep me sane, but if I explained what happened during the past nine years we'd be here a while. The whole world knows about one of the things that happened, in any case. Anyway, enough seriousness...)
Don't be afraid to branch out into (non-)fiction writing. I say if you want to do it, just do it! Yeah, it's a different style of writing, but I get the feeling you'd be a natural at whatever you try your hand at!
Aw, man, that's tough to hear. I hear ya on the bit about becoming a writer anyways. Good luck finding a job to support you and yours that you will enjoy in the time it takes before you really hit it as a writer. I know I'll be one of the first in line for a book. ^_~
How's the missus feel about the prospects of you (and possibly her) leaving Japan?
As somewhere who's been where you have, I can say this: don't sweat it. There ARE jobs out there that will let you get where you want to go. Freelance translation is one - I do it myself as a sideline, and it pays very well if your Japanese is up to scratch.
Or do what others have done - take up English teaching, which leaves you with a lot of free time, and then use that productively to write. I have 2 or 3 books by authors who did just that.
I'd buy your book/s. However...don't authors recieve a paltry 10% of the book earnings, or something like that?
If you want to write and don't have enough for a book, why don't you write a screenplay or tv show pilot? Since J-dramas are relatively short ~15 hours total, you don't have to slog it out for years like a syndicated series.
Write one in english and Japanese. Maybe you can be the next Densha Otoko and become super rich and famous...
A writer! Az, that's really cool, definatley go for it! You do have real talent, I check this site everyday for updates cause you're so entertaining ^_^ Whatever you write, sometimes its funny, sometimes its sad, but it always connects. Let me be one of the first to wish you good luck!
I think you've got a high chance of getting some good deals with all the stories here.
You're an inspiration to all the people that want to make it work in Japan.
But we all know, all good things come to an end.
Do you want to be a writer or a novelist? A lot of professional writers make a pretty good living doing articles. Yeah, it takes a while for "Rolling Stone" to come knocking but you can earn a living at it in the meantime. The only place I know of as a clearing house for writers (among other skills) is Elance. They use a reverse auction system and their rates aren't great but it is a way to build up your portfolio and earn some money in your spare time as well.
Hi, Az! I really feel your pain; while I love living in Japan, I really hate the box a foreigner is put into when it comes to work. If you don't speak Japanese, you can teach English. Or teach English. Or teach English. Or maybe work at a bar. Or maybe teach English. Or, if you're a writer, maybe get work at one of the very few English language print mags - if they're even hiring. Or when that doesn't work out, maybe you could teach English?
You have more options than a lot of the foreigners here because your Japanese is quite good. Still, as you mentioned, your box isn't THAT much wider and, of course, there's the whole Japanese work ethic thing. It's so frustrating - I've only been here a year and a half and I'm already frantically kicking the corners of my box in.
Like you, I'm a writer - not only that, I was a writer who swore I'd never teach. Teaching English seemed barely tolerable only if I was going to do it for just a year - my original plan - but now that year has stretched into 2 and I'm unhappier by the day. Before I moved to Japan I was a critic, EA and editor and I'm dying to get back into that kind of work but, of course, the English language journalism situation here is limited. What I'm trying to do now is looking for those kinds of jobs but, when they, of course, don't pan out, I'm using my free time to write my own novel. I recently went part-time with my school which gives me 4 days off a week so I'm trying my best to appreciate living in a country where I can even support myself on 3 days of work a week. This would have been impossible where I lived before, in New York City, where I could never seem to make time to work on my book. Lemonade, Az! Lemonade!
If you want to get into writing for a living, the internet is truly your best friend. There are so many webzines and webblogs that are looking for contributors it's not even funny. Portfolio clips are everything when it comes to getting writing work, and you already have loads of great clips from this blog (if Festering Ass invited you to join their network, I believe they are considered "published"). The English language mags like Kansai Scene and Kansai Time Out are always looking for writers. Are you part of any writers' circles in Kansai? That might also be fun to get involved with and feel like a writer, which helps a lot in our situation.
You do have a lot of thinking to do - is Yobo-san willing to leave Japan? Until you make your decision or find something suitable here, think lemonade! Good luck!
if you wrote a book i would buy it. ive always romanticized about writing also, i just have absolutely no talent for it.
i hope to visit japan at some point in my life. if i do and youre still there. i would like to shake your hand.
yeah, i'm sure the future wife is going to love the idea of moving to the states, i bet you didn't even mention it to her yet.
I've seen a couple of Japanese porn with Black dudes, maybe that's a line of work you could sink your teeths in?
Well, I'd buy your book.
If you want to be a writer, have you thought of being a writer working for a company in the States? I mean, this site is the proof that there are things in Japan that interests gaijins. Maybe a company outside Japan would like to make use of your expertise.
If you aren't happy, then something needs to get changed. I don't know enough about your life to know what it is... but the point of life is to persue happiness so good for you for trying to find what makes you happy.
I have one rather large worry though... you make absolutly no mention of how Ms. Az feels about this. Please remember that your lives signifcantly affect each other. Whatever you decide you should be talking to her about it so that you fully understand the consequences of your decision.
I can sympathize with being burned out at work.. I'm switching jobs within the next month and getting married too. @-@ I hope you can find a job that's a little more gaijin-friendly lol. Maybe working at an embassy in Japan?
Just wanted to say that if you decide to start writing professionally you'd have a fan right here. :) I love reading your entries and would definitely pick up any book you might write.
Jackie
A writer? Good on you Az! Will your book be like Tucker Max's and focus on stuff on the site? Or will it be compleatly different? Anyway, I will be first in line at the bookshop.
Good Luck!
That sucks that you're not happy at your job. I'm going through immigrations myself to get my husband here from Canada and let me tell you...immigrations sucks. It's not like in the movies where you get married and your spouse can automatically move to the states. It's 8 months to a year before they can move here.
Good luck!
Have you ever thought about writing for an English newspaper. I remember seeing one when I went to Japan but I dont know where it was written.
And I am sure the thought about moving back to America is a comforting thought but it is no longer an option for you unless your wife learns English. And trust me, she will go though a much more heavy culture shock then you did. You at least had a good idea on what you were getting yourself into.
This is the first new post you've had since someone showed me this site, so I figured I'd finally make a comment.
I think that in your decision to be a writer, you are lucky enough to already have a collection of writings you can distribute - I suppose the next step would be to find someone in the industry who is as enthralled by your experiences as the rest of us =) I know you want to branch out and try other types of writing first, but you may as well try to profit from what you already have and you know people enjoy.
Hey man, I believe the answer is easy for this. Move back to America. Get a Job, Work 9-5. Have time for your wife and to write your book. You know the Bay Area is a great place man. Just keep your wife out of 98th ave in Oakland at night and she will love the bay. After your writing takes off, you can live anywhere you like. You can take the Wifey to Japan for a year or two, maybe Paris, London, Hollywood...
Im currently living in Mexico due to some family illnesses over the past 3 years. I love this place. Its amazing but you know that living outside the US, makes you cherish your country even more. I will be going back to America soon....maybe not the Bay Area again...but LA...love the city. You should do the same. Go back to the USA...get your book out...eventually, you will be able to write for a living and live where you want without a problem
Have you thought about organized crime? I'm pretty sure the Yakuza would be happy to have a big black guy to intimidate struggling pachinko entrepreneurs...
Seriously though, I think you're well on your way to a successful book. A friend of mine in publishing mentioned to me that the author of "stuff white people like" got $300K on his book deal, and I'd say you got him beat for raw writing awesomeness.
Alternatively, since Japanese people seem to love hearing about what Gaikokujin think of them, especially if you can be funny, I think you'd be a great candidate for TV.
Good luck Az... if your posts here are anything to go by, then something far more substantial is definitely within your grasp. And funny to boot!
Amen to everything you said about being a member of the regular Japanese workforce. I'm working through the same decision myself right now, and while I know I CAN assimilate to my office environment I really wonder whether I WANT to. Best of luck to you whatever you decide!
Just in case it's a possibility you haven't considered, what about working for a non-Japanese company in Japan? You might be happier in a company that has a different "corporate culture."
Be that writer. Isn't suffering part of being a writer? I miss your kancho stories and rounds of dodge-dick, but you probably don't.
Ever thought of being a tour guide? No, not those tours where everone gets bussed from one site to the next stuffed together like sticky rice, but more relaxed walking tours.
My wife and I when we went to Japan, took a two week guided tour run by a company out of L.A. It was a wonderful experience. Everywhere we went, we just took subways, local buses, cabs and local trains. Our guide was American, but had orignally found work in Japan at a tv production studio, and also wrote for "the lonely planet" guide books. The tour was hella expensive for us, but very much worth it.
Speaking as a wanna-be writer who has just not had time to finish any books because of the constant crises that seem to crop up in my (extended & immediate) family (long story, suffice to say I tend to be the caretaker/peacemaker for a lot of stuff), I think it's awesome that you want to write as your career! It's difficult to get a publisher's attention, so you might want to consider self-publishing, at least in the beginning, to get your career going. Writer's Weekly (www.writersweekly.com) is a great resource for tips, classes & publisher warnings - that is, they let you know which publishers to avoid, if you choose not to go the self-publish route. God's blessings on you & your endeavors in this field! I agree that you are a natural at it!
You know I'll buy the book
TO THE GAIJIN SMASH!!
Definitely come back to the US, Az. I believe you are quite correct with your observations that 1). You will NEVER get a break because you're Gaijin, and 2). Japanese work policies require you to give up having a life. This isn't what you want out of life, you know this because you have said so.
You CAN be writer! You DO have talent! I think you should aggressively market your story (and a first chapter sample) to every publisher you can think of. There are even ways to help keep your submission out of the slush piles. Your sense of humor in your experiences shows in your writing and will help catch their attention.
Ok, so say you don't have a job lined up when you get back here. Take a job at Starbucks if you have to (for the health insurance), keep looking for a better job, enjoy your life away from work with your bride and KEEP WRITING!
I'm looking forward to seeing your book in print. Can I get it autographed if I remind you of this comment to your post?
I know how you feel, man. I'm also going through some rough times, trying to make it as a professional writer while, at the same time, trying not to starve xD
I can only wish you bonne chance, and hope things are goosd enough so you can keep posting here.
BTW, if you ever wrote a book, I'd tottaly buy it.
Az, congratulations on pursuing something that you have talent for. I'm actually working on a book right now, trying to get it published (and join the legions of writers out there), and I can safely say that you have more talent than I do (at this point? hopefully). So I wish you nothing but the best and as a fellow writer, and hope that all of your literary pursuits bring success.
Sincerely,
Kai
Do it. It's like Aaliyah said, "Keep working hard and you can get anything that you want. If God gave you the talent, you should go for it. But don't think it's going to be easy. It's hard!"
Kidding aside, I think with some work you can take all of your Japanese stories and combine them into a pretty damn entertaining story. I'd buy that book.
I have just finished reading through all your GaijinSmash archive, after re-finding this website (I read it about three years ago- glad to hear how your life has progress, even if your job is now temporarily sucky). I just wanna add my support for the book idea- if it got picked up it'd be great. I'd buy it even if it were just a reproduction of these archives :)
Good luck with everything, hope you get to stay in Japan, and even if you do move back to the USA, keep entertaining us!
Oh by the way- your 'Very Lost in Translation' article won't load. Think that's an error on your part?
Good luck man.
I wish you luck on whatever you decide to do, and I hope that this all gets cleared up so that everything is right with the world again *heartfelt music*
I'll definitely keep an eye out for a book by you! ^^
ps: I double what Cs said.
Hang in there. Keep up the writing. You're already a writer. You've proven that. Just keep at it while you earn your bread doing something else. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do. Ganbatte!
I've been reading you for a while, loved many of your stories from the teacher time or even the latest ones. It's not enough to experience Japan and all the cultural shock, the most important is how to write it and entertain your reader, and for this I think you have a great talent. Good luck to you !
Here's my totally helpful suggestion: You should look into the gaming press. I know Kotaku has a man in Japan. I'm sure a guy with an interest in games and a command of both English and Japanese is of use to someone. Good luck!
Really you should come home. Life is much easier here. You work an 8 hour job and go home. It seems to me that anyone that puts forth just a bit of effort usually does just fine here in the states.
Also with the real crap coming out of Hollywood, maybe you should consider movie scripts. I can't think of anything funnier than the stuff you described while you were an english teacher. Throw in some romantic drama (which you also already have) and you are there. Hell the producers will be beating a path to you door. Of course you won't be able to go back to Japan again since they will have a price on your head.
Well, you could always turn to organ-legging or vampirism....
Seriously, though, at least you have a job. Unemployment here in my home state (Michigan) is pretty much the highest it's been ever. And things aren't that good elsewhere. Since you do know Japanese, have you considered being a translator for the news programs? Maybe not the voice-over translators, but the text translators. Or work in the movies.
And, there's always teaching... :-p
edit the book in a cheap country (taiwan for example)
sell in amazon
its going to be cheap, and you already have your market target (all of your internet readers)
ganbatte Az, dont just give up yet
my aunt went to germany when she was a teenager, fleed from her parents house, work there for a living and when she could not stand for german stiffnes she came back to spain
now is an alcoholic depresive wretch
moral of the story: you decided to go to japan, true men dont give up :P
Ah yes, the world famous Japanese work ethic. While they do work hard a lot of it is a fallacy, they don't really work harder then any others, just longer hours less efficiently (with the honorable exception of the computer and motor industries, those guys know how to do it properly). I have a friend who works for a Japanese bank who explains it very well. The staff can't go home (or often don't want to, sitting around enjoying the evening with the wife and kids at home, that would be unseemly) before the boss (again, just not good manners)so they have to stay late. The boss also can't go home early because he has to set an example and show all his staff how to work hard, so everyone works late. As a result, where's the incentive to work hard and bugger off early. Even if you finish all your work, you'll only have to find some more to do so why bother? Instead we'll fill our days with interminable meetings where nothing ever gets decided. My friend on the other hand, finishes all his work, makes a shed load ('a lot' for those of you that don't follow UK slang) of money for them and then goes home when he feels like it. When they whinge (complain) about him not being a team player and the fact he gets paid more, he points out how much money he's made them and falls back on his version of gaijin smash, he ignores them totally! He realised a long time ago he won't ever be accepted fully as he's not willing to to accede to everything they want him to do, but also knows he won't be fired 'cos he's good at his job. Being English of course though helps, we're used to the petty backstabbing, complaining and pathetic politics of of small minded individuals in the work place (ever seen the UK version of the Office? Cringe inducingly accurate).
As for getting a job that isn't teaching English, what do you expect? If you have experience and talent in other fields you can find a job in Japan (I have friends working in banking, computers, construction, and engineering her, but they all had experience of this work at home first) If you don't, it's difficult, Japan is no different to any other country in this respect. Rock up in Australia without any and see how quickly you can get work there, isn't going to happen, so get realistic.
Otherwise, what are you qualified to do? You speak good Japanese, we know, but did you pass the 1 kyuu level this time around? If you didn't, getting a job translating etc.. isn't so easy (but not impossible) because over here there are lots of foreigners with 1 kyuu level' (they never go home, just stay and bore everyone with their knowledge of Japan, have you seen the Canadian guy on TV?), and nobody is gonna pick you over them unless they know you. 2kyuu level in any other country plus experience of having lived in Japan however will land you a decent position.
Especially living in Kyoto, there just aren't the positions available. Cliched as it may sound, get yourself to Tokyo, far more opportunities available there, especially for people with only '2 kyuu' (and I know about this 'cos I have 2 kyuu myself and have been searching for a new job all year, based in Nagoya there isn't a lot available) . Again, I realise this may not be such a feasible suggestion 'cos of your wife being a Kyotoite (and I am in the same boat here, my missus being a Nagoyaite), but really, which do you think she'd prefer, Tokyo (3 hours or so by Bullet train) or San Francisco (umpteen hours and an entirely scary new world for her by United Airlines. Oh, and sorry guys, but just the thought of getting on a United flight brings me out in boils.....).
Finally, I have to say that if you want to be a writer, give it go and good luck, I think you have a talent and write very well. I for one love reading your posts. With regard to this, I have to agree with a poster above, get a job as an ALT again. You may hate the idea, but it sounds like you will get paid more, you're evenings will be yours, as will the weekends and the school holidays, lots of writing time. Also factor in being able to 'go for a walk' to see what the students are up to in your free lessons ('Eh, what do you mean Kyoto Sensei, there are no lessons held behind the Gym? I never realised....'). Think of the time available to you come up with all that wonderous prose. Just get yourself a position in say Shiga rather than the big cities. Hopefully nicer kids, better run schools (imagine have 3 schools of peace). Oh yeah, and invest in a pair of iron skids (UK slang, I'll leave that one for you all to work out what it means). As you have a job already you don't need to decide quickly and can take your pick perusing all the usual job websites, I'm sure you know all the best ones anyway.
Right, sorry for the length of the post, gonna leave to your weekend, thanks for all the great posts over the years, have enjoyed them immensly and hope for many more to come. Cheers groover.
Brutal honesty ahead:
You are married now. Your life is no longer about you and your happiness. It's now about taking care of your wife/family even if that involves making sacrifices.
Let's say you do leave Japan and go back home to America. What would your poor wife do? She can't speak English, so that rules out employment immediately after leaving Japan. While English lessons take time, paying for them with an already tight budget is problematic. She wouldn't have any friends, anyone to talk to since she doesn't know the language, she wouldn't have her mother around, and she'd probably be suffering major culture shock and loneliness while you're out working.
Do you really think that this would make her happy?
Furthermore, if you are serious about leaving your job and possibly moving, then why are you paying for a wedding? That wedding money should be used to either pay down existing debt or to start an emergency fund considering that you may not be employed in six months. Now is not the time for an expensive wedding. That part I mentioned about sacrifices in the first paragraph? Yeah, she needs to learn how to make them, too.
I'm not trolling or trying to be a dick. I'm just concerned because there wasn't one ounce of concern about your wife's well being in this entry.
Can you eat on camera? Then clearly, you should become a Japanese celebrity! From what I understand a gaijin who can eat on camera would be enough of a novelty that you'd have novelty singles and video collections released in no time.
Isn't that how Bob Sapp is making his living? Just become Bob Sapp for a new generation!
A book, eh? Found an editor yet? I don't know how much of a stickler you are for absolute perfect edited English, but your corpus to date proves that you don't need to be perfect to be a badass motherfucking writer.
Anyway, drop me a line if you need an editor. I'll do it just as good as the pros but several hells of a lot cheaper; I'd consider a sneak peek at the book to be part of my payment. Of course, I'd buy it anyway.
Well, whatever work you choose, menial or otherwise, you'll still have the undying respect of your legion of fans. アズマニア全軍進め！