I Am a Cat - Addendum

The only possible problem I see here is your wife learning English well enough to one day read through your blog :)

On un unrelated note, I don't remember reading about your worst "I hate this country" moments. I I know that there were lots of moments when you were really shocked from something particularly weird or gross, but apart from that, your emotional journey (country-wise) in Japan is not that clear to me. I sort of know your final thoughts, but not the way you got there (again, in your head, not through the stuff which happened - we know that in all it's horrible glory :).

Maybe it'd be cool if you could write a line or two about the upps and downs of your stay in Japan, and how you got through them.

In any case, good luck, man!

P.S. If you did write about it, I apologize for not first going through the archives

Wow, unless you edited that for her, your wife's English is excellent! Is her pronunciation that good, too? Seems like Ls, Rs & THs are the hardest for most Japanese people, because they have to learn the correct way to move their lips and tongue to have any hope of sounding right. A RL friend of mine confused everyone but me by saying "buru" instead of "blue" (I only got it because of dealing with kana-fied English so much.)

As for returning to school (again), look on the bright side: you'll have more stories to entertain us with! :-)

After all, some of us remember your stories, whether we're talking reminiscing about:

* Chiidori kanchos (The pain level is OVER 9000!)

* Korean coworkers who want to know your 'size'. While cm make you sound like a bigger man, it never hurts to accidentally use 10.54 as the conversion factor between cm an inches...

* Leftover phone numbers when a day can't get any worse. (They can't bottom out, though, until you find out about that barbed wire tool that was inserted in a place Things Do _NOT_ Go [TM].)

* Or just the fact that you were smart enough to marry the NICE girl who sticks by you and who everybody likes, instead of that psycho ex everybody hated :-)

(Az's Note: Of course the conversation took place in Japanese. I just wrote up the equivalent to what she said in English.)

If it's any help, I teach English part-time and write part-time, and personally I find that it's a really great combination (but, I must note, teaching ADULTS, who want to be there). Writing can get pretty solitary, so teaching gives me great social interaction; on the other hand, teaching can be physically exhausting, so being able to sit at my computer with just me and my thoughts is a great relief. And the bonus is that it's amazing how often my students will say something that sparks something off for me to write - I'm guessing more so than in other jobs, because in English lessons you cover so many topics and have lots of conversation. Good luck with it - I hope it works out!

Reading that first section, I can now definitely see why you concluded the way you did Az: I think she is a keeper. If only all women were as understanding and talked about compromise. If my experiences are anything to go by... sadly not!

As for the writing aspect, it can be done secondary to real work. I've been a freelancer for almost 20 years while having a proper 9-5 job, proof that it can be done. It just takes a bit longer than if you were doing it full time :p

Good luck going back to English teaching... I'm sure normal kancho dodge dick senses service will resume shortly...!

Well it seems like you're wife is abit more adult than you are, judging by the way she expressed herself. Dude whatever you do as long as there is support it's worth it, right? (well maybe not a full rear kancho but you understand).

Going back to school may suck but it gave you great stories to write here and hopefully also some great memories.

If you ever bring out a book I will buy a copy for sure.

Dude Ganbate (or however you spell it). I know you have probably heard it about 2^30 times but its true.

Just remember who you are doing all of this for, thinking about a loved one's happiness can make even the most horrible job/ordeal/person tolerable.

I just finished my BSc and that helped me a lot and it will help me when I start my MSc this fall.

Actually your stories also helped a lot and provided you don't abandon gaijinsmash for something that actually pays they will continue to help.

Greetings from Iceland to you and you wife to be.

So when is her blog going up? The one about how crazy America is.

As a British guy who moved to the US, I'd like to advise you to look into the process of getting a visa for your wife as soon as possible. I moved and married my (American) wife in the US, which, then at least, was a less time-consuming process than being married before you move, and still took months and a lot of paperwork. When you also consider the permanent residency stuff after she gets here. you're looking at years of collecting stuff to to send to the US Government.

With that said, good luck, whatever your final plan turns out to be.

hey there Az! I've been a loooong time reader and really hope your situation gets better. Two jobs will really stress you out. But you'll somehow manage it. I mean if it's really essential and necessary, you'll somehow hang in there.
As John Rambo said "When pushed... killing's as easy as breathing".. um.. yeah, just wanted to quote some 80s action hero :)
I was just wondering about your wife knowing about Gaijin Smash and stuff... you mentioned to her the talkback of the last posting. So she really is aware of your web presence. Isn't she curious about all your editorials, and won't she be quite - let's say - surprised about the content of some of them?!

Hang in there bro!
Although I have no materialistic help to offer, I'll still try to channel some of the good vibes and energy, that I got reading your stories all these years, back to you man!
Keep us updated, we do care.

Regards and all the best from Vienna, Austria, Europe, Earth.
Minstrel

Az, no worries man. NOTHING you ever post is ever boring. I have to tell my wife this every time something unexpected or undesirable happens in our lives, "Don't worry. Things will work out in the end." And they almost always do. Don't fret; you've got your head screwed on straight and a great sounding girl by your side. The cards are stacked in your favor. Ganbare!

私のお墓の前で泣かないで下さい

ブックーオフ

I've been reading your musings for ages now, and have always loved your writing style and wit. I would pay good money for a book if you wrote one. In fact, I'll donate my PKR winnings to the 'Az Book Fund' from now on, just give us a PayPal account to drop the dollars into :-)

*sniff* that's so...touching

and you guys doubted her
for shame

Hey, if it's only "temporal" (what our Japanese counterparts tell us when they mean temporary), I guess, it won't be so bad. As long as keep your eye on the end goal.

I'm not openly soliciting donations again, but my Paypal account remains the same as it always has been - azrael@outpostnine.com

I'll second the comment- Dude, you are so screwed when she gets fluent enough to read this thing.

Actually, I'm sure you will be far enough along in your marriage that she will laugh with you as she reads through it.

So, my serious question- have you considered becoming a Japanese language teacher in Japan? I know, sounds crazy, but there are a good many expats that get shipped around the world, Japan being a likely spot for many. The need for skilled language instructors is there, and you may have an edge, being an Native Occidental who speaks English and can relate both cultures.

Coals to Newcastle, and that sort of stuff...it would also allow you a more flexible schedule to pursue your writing

Your a good husband Az..and you've got yourself an excellent wife! Whatever you do, just keep telling yourself..it's not forever!
And one day I'll be thrilled to buy your first novel!

I like Mikki's style! I was so happy to read what she told you; it's great to know you've got such great support from her!

As far as everyone's concerns about her finding out what you've written in the past once she learns English, I have an inkling that you've already translated much of it for her, and are not concerned about her reading for herself later on; after all, it's apparent you're translating all the comments to her. Everyone needs to recognize that she knew what (who) she was getting when she said yes to your proposal (even with the dreaded PMS symptoms she was having at the time).

May God bless you both as you move toward your goals!

Well, I wish you the best of luck and I don't look forward to my time stationed in Japan(well I kinda do and kinda don't) *disheartened cries quickly followed by angry yelling and throwing things at the Marines for stationing me in Japan instead of near Russia where the action is*.

Az, boring or not it's always good to see you post an entry. Goodluck with everything.

Well, I wish your wife good luck in her studies. I'm still trying to learn Japanese, so I can appreciate the difficulty.

But I still look forward to more stories from school, even if I feel a little bit sorry for the fact that you'll be experiencing them :-)

At least you'll have things to write about...

Dang, for a second there I thought you were moving back to the US and we'd start getting "Ninja Smash!" entries from your wife. ;-)

Anyways, no matter what you do, I hope things turn out well for you. Keep us updated.

P.S. The page URL is broken again. Feed correctly points to "i_am_a_cat_adde.phtml" while the main page tries "i_am_a_cat_addendum.phtml".

Best of luck getting a teaching job at the college level! I'm sure the (slightly) higher maturity level of your students will make all the difference to how much you enjoy it. ^^; My advice would be to try an International University; they seem like they'd be more open to giving the job to a gaijin. And you can have some not-Japanese students in there to spice things up, too! You're not too far from Kansai Gaidai, are you? Or else Akita, while quite a big move for you two, is really good... (I go to Akita's sister school; if you end up there, I'll drop you a line!)

Wow, your wife is very awesome indeed, sounds like a good choice.
Whatever happens with you two in the future, I wish you the very best, from what I've read in your blog, you sound like a person who deserves it.

On another topic: sometime ago I wrote you an email asking you wether you'd be interested in meeting in Kyoto. I will be there the whole August. Since I am also aspiring to live and teach in Japan, this could be interesting. I hope you'll write back.

http://www.frozentoothpaste.com/2008/06/09/how-blogs-die/

I just read this and I was hoping that it wasn't true of this series.

Ah hahaha, I live in Akita. Yes, come join us! You'll be (non-student) gaijin #103 in the whole prefecture! Ok, maybe 104. Actually, scratch that. Don't come here. I have never once met a (young) Japanese woman who tolerates cold weather. When your wife experiences her first winter here, she'll slice you open Star Wars-style and crawl inside to keep warm.

Az,

I have to second Fraz's comment. If you plan on her going to live in America, get ready for the paperwork and the waiting (mostly the second part). It actually works ALOT easier if you are married for two years or more before trying to bring her over here. It took those sadistic clowns in the state department almost a year and with three different denials in my wife's case. You'll find that Immigration tends to be a longer wait, but they get the job done. The State department is a whole other can of worms.

Here is a list of forms, etc. that you'll need to fill out if she is coming here for more than a visit (NOTE. the forms are still in the corect sequence, but the fees have gone up. My total from 2005 will be less than yours, check www.uscis.gov and www.state.gov for current fees):

Forms and costs, to date.

1.) I-130 ($190). Additional documents - my passport, birth certificate, her passport, passport style photos of both of us, marriage certificate, form G-325A (no fee!)

2.) I-129F ($170). Additional documents - passport, birth certificate, proof of meeting (marriage certificate).

3.) DS-156K ($100). Additional forms - DS-157 (no fee), birth certificates, marriage certificates, evidence of support (I-134, I-864 and/or I-184A), DS-3032 (choice of agent form, no fee)

4.) DS-230 ($335+ $45 security surcharge = $380). Additional forms - DS-230I, medical exam, immunization and chest x-ray report ($80 in Cambodia, but other places charge different amounts), forms DS-2053, 3024, 3025, 3026.

5.) ADS-01 (denial form). No real cost, but the cost of making her travel to Bangkok for further processing was $200. Additional forms - proof of income (again, those morons!), evidence of relationship, and explanation of circumstances of meeting.

Total cost (2005): $1120

Might I suggest that teaching adults is loads more fun. I did in college (study abroad in Japan) and if I could have done it again, I would have. Not the best paying job in the world, but always interesting. I'd suggest ECC, if you can get in with the local office. You might also look at moonlighting for a smaller, local school. In short, stay in japan for two more years, if you can, and see if you like teaching adults better than children.

College teaching jobs depend on what college. Most community colleges want only a BS/BA and maybe a teaching certificate. Universities want a Masters in teaching and a bachelor's degree in whatever you're teaching. I don;t know about Conversational English classes in Japan, but I suspect they are similar.

You could always jut bite people for money.

Good luck, Az. Sounds like a bitch of a situation to be in and I don't envy you. And seriously sorry you're stuck in a contract so long in a shitty job. Your wife does sound intelligent and has this clearly thought-out on her end.

I do agree with someone's comment that the disadvantage would be her reading this site (especially since my husband just reads my comments here and occasionally has a snarky remark for me--just from freaking comments!), but the biggest concern was spoiling surprises like the proposal, yeah?

Glad you're figuring things out (tentatively) and as for the writing--another good luck. I've been trying to figure it out for 10 years now (not that anything's entirely ready for publication) and any time I read up, it just sounds like SUCH a pain in the ass. Of all things, a young adult writer wrote best about the experience, for really explaining how it goes (Stephanie Meyer) on her blog. "Send it in, get rejected until someone doesn't," seems to be the consensus, though.

But if this site is an indicator, I do think you have a talent for it and you'll have to let us know when you do get something finished (if you're still stringing us along at that point, lol).

I can say, with some degree of confidence, that there's very little to nothing on this site that my wife doesn't already know about.

You should really come back to America. Your lady seems exicted about the prospect of living in a new culture and you really don't want to take a job you absoultly hate. Believe me, there is nothing worse than working somewhere, where when you wake up in the morning you're like "i'm upset i didn't die in my sleep because i have to go in to work today."

Az. I've been reading you for a loooong time, and never have I bothered to comment on anything you've written. I'm a fan, I have to admit, of course, and I just wanted to say, I'm really proud of you for having gone so far.
The amount of time I've put into reading and checking this blog is insane (and I'm normally not a blogs kind of guy at all) is ridiculous. It's because I find you likeable and worth reading, but also pleasant. It's easy to feel like I know you, like we're buds or whatever, despite the obvious.

I don't want to offer you advice here. If Japan is where you want to be, then I wish you well. If you're ready to come back to the States, then, awesome, too, wish you well. Either way, I just wanted to say, I hope you keep writing. I know that blogging can be tiresome at times, and I'm sure you sometimes feel like you might have nothing to say, or no time to compose the things you really wish you could say-- but you've built this sort of strange community out of people who genuinely care about what you have to say, and have, whether intentionally or otherwise, invested themselves in your life.

The moral of the story, since I'm rambling here, is that whatever you choose to do, you'll do well, and even if you falter or feel overwhelmed or uncertain, you'll grace us all with worthwhile writing and charming accounts. Keep the faith, and best of luck to you. I'd call you friend, but you don't know me-- and I think I'll do it anyway, because I think of you as a friend, despite us never speaking. Thanks for every word, every laugh, every smile, every sigh.

And no matter what you wind up doing, be strong.
--Stephen

(Az's Note: Thank you for the comment.)

Hey Az,
Been reading for this site for years now, thanks for all the hard work. If you ever want a job teaching (oh the horror~) might I recommended teaching Japanese at universities. Since you like writing, you might want to look into getting a phd in Asian studies while working on your books. Many top tier and second tier universities are looking for people to fill the ranks. Their is an shortage of people that understand Japanese culture/economics/politics/art. I can say this because of the lackluster Asian studies department in my top 10 engineering college

Dude,

you can definitely teach in a Uni, or at least a high school. I'm sure you would definitely prefer either to dealing with middle/elementary school kids. You can't pick up and shake the money out of the high school students pockets when they are bad...but they are much better over all.

I was offered a Japanese Uni job with only a B.A. in Criminology and 2 years teaching experience in a high school in Korea. You can obviously get a job in a Japanese Uni if you actually want one.

And me who thought you only married her for the secks, silly me ! [/DrHouse]

Howdy There. You know me in kyoto, Danny friend of Josh, always at the Hub. I can probably get you a job at my university if you want it around April next year.

Get in touch and I will do my best to help you out,
Danny

That girl's a keeper, right there. That is when she's not manipulating you into doing things she wants, by making you feel guilty, anyway. ;)

Then again, I believe all women are like that. Looking past the compulsory baggage (yes we blokes have our faults too!), it appears your girl is a real catch. Don't let that one get away!

All the best and I hope things look up for you two soon.

The "boring" entries are fine. It can't all be happy happy joy joy. Delightful to hear your wife's voice in this space. She does seem like a wonderfully fit mate for you. Congrats. That's the real congrats - not the marriage per se - but finding a fit, suitable mate.

It sounds like you two have thought this out. Best of luck on your work plan. Sometimes you do have to take one step back in order to take two steps forwards. Good good good for you. I know times are tough now, but your fundamentals are good: good guy, good girl, love, a plan, a sense of adventure, and mutual support.

she turned to me and said "Wow, they've been reading along all this time but they really don't know you any better than that?"

Consider most of your stories are you dodging dick grabs... (all though there has been growth and transition in your stories) Also, you yourself said it was more of a blog post, so you may have just typed it up on spur of the moment.

Anyway, I made some of those comments, like a friend would say something as a friendly reminder.

As we know she wants to come to the States, but wanting and seriously considering are too different things and we don't want a friend to get caught off guard if he/she can do something to prepare for it.

(on a side note it did make you post again, when it has been weeks upon weeks at some times)

I've also been reading for a long time and I have to say that as much as you want to come home now, stick it out for a little bit longer. See what other jobs are out there. Like others have been saying, teach adults, check out international universities, talk to people you know or your wife knows and find out if they know somebody who knows somebody who can get you a better job. It's amazing how easily you can find a connection to the inside just by talking to random people. This is kind of unrelated, but a good friend of mine got married to his long-time foreign girlfriend last year (oh, WoW relationships) and moved to her side of the world. He gave up his car, his job, his family, friends -- you name it, he sacrificed it for her. Long story short, after all that paperwork, getting a Visa, buying a ring, one marriage ceremony in each country, and many more expenses.. they're divorcing. (NOT LIKE THAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.) Why? She refuses to make it work, but also, refuses to come to America. (She swears the air gives her a rash. What? Whaaaat?!) It wasn't even a consideration. She's a bitch, too, so I guess that helps. Moral of the story -- be thankful your wife is as sweet and understanding as she is, and is willing to make such a difficult transition if that's what you both decide is best. It took my friend over three months to find a job over there, a country that speaks a lot more English than Japan, so I'm sure if you guys decided to move here it wouldn't take your wife nearly as long. Still. Know that the thought of more kancho stories fills me with joy, a kind of Hello Kitty-flavored joy that.. well, frankly feels kinda wrong. But you're a great writer -- if Tucker Max can put out a book, you can too! (I work in a bookstore. I see tons of squealing girls buy his book allllll the time and he's a douchebag. Funny, but douchey nonetheless. Besides, I can get you a booksigning!) Writers wouldn't have jobs if it weren't for annoying people to write about. Seriously. If you haven't already read "Then We Came To The End" by Joshua Ferris, pick it up. It's an excellent book about work, other people, and how annoying, funny, and sad it can all be. Maybe it'll inspire you! I love writing about all the crazy customers I have to deal with on a regular basis; it keeps me sane and hey, maybe I'll get published one of these days.

So, to sum, I say stick it out for now, see what happens, but save money on the side for paperwork just in case. Even though I don't know you in real life, I feel like I know you well enough to say that you'll do what's right -- and she's lucky to have you. Wait til you have kids -- oh, the stories..

Best of luck! Your blog's been one of my favorite sites for years, so here's to many more! Etc, etc, ad nauseam.

-Andrea

Yo man. I have been reading your posts for a while and I must admit your blogs are cool. You've told alot of great and hilarious stories, not to mention taught me a thing or 2 about Japan. Your the only African American I know who tells about his life in Japan ( and there arent many who do). Things may seem tough dude, but if you stay strong and faithful you will shine from all your troubles. I know your not really a religious type or whatever, but GOD is always willing to help a brother out such as yourself. Heck if there is anyone who can give you some lead way in life its Him alone. I dont want to preach to you my man, but my prayers to you as always and no GOD doesnt hate you. Your stories about Japan and how they encourage and help us readers puts a smile in his face.

Your wife is ADORABLE.

I gotta agree with you, you picked the right woman as far as being supportive is concerned. So, pretty soon we'll start hearing about your adventures teaching some lot of sereriman at an eigonogakkou, and about the silly stuff they bring to class. I'm looking forward to it already. No advice from me; I've got my hands full messing up my own life. Ganbatte! ^_^

Well clearly God doesn't entirely hate you to find and marry a woman like that. She seems amazing already, especially for your current situation. I hope you never take her for granted. All cliche "best of luck" type phrases to you.

Hi, Az! I'm glad your wife is on your side - that makes a huge, huge difference. I know how you feel about getting back into teaching English; on the other hand, it doesn't have to be for that long; you have the power here and can leave Japan when you like! I might suggest ECC to you; my friends there have the opportunity to teach university classes at Mukogawa. They also work 29.5 hours a week. And what about privates? Set your rates and your schedule.

good luck, Az!

Well, if you do eventually make it as a writer, after going back to teaching in public school, you'll be in good company. Quite a few writers started out as teachers and/or professors; take Stephen King, for example.

Once more: best wishes to you, no matter what path you choose! Also, I'd like to congratulate you for marrying such an amazing woman; as a girl nearing her twenties I find her rather inspiring. I truly wish for the happiness of you two.

When the world gives you lemons...

...kancho the biatch all the way into next year! :D

=\ Ganbatte I can't believe I've been following you for almost a year and a half... I'm back in kyoto again so if you wana spend any of your precious free time send me an email?

Boy, are you popular! 50 comments in two days, congrats on a job well done!

Well, I just wanted to comment on how lucky you are to have such a good wife. I wish I can one day find someone who is as good to me.
And also to keep encouraging you to pursue your dream of becoming a writer. You've got it in you, man! I'm pretty sure you'll be very much successfull.
I'm cheering for you mostly beacuse we share the same dream, and are under similar places in life. So, if you succeed, it's kind of life's way of telling me "He did it! You can do it, too!"
Best of luck to you, gaijin! =)

Hello Az,

This would be my first comment I've ever written here, so I would like to be constructive. I'm a teacher here as well, and I work for a private company that deals primarily with business classes and university classes. If you look around, you should be able to find several companies that do similar things, such as Nichibei (a seperate division from their group classes), GIEA ( the Geos business class division) and several others. I am currently at CES, and the pay is better than your basic eikaiwa and you get to design your own schedule. It is usually part time work though, so at the beginning, it will be slow. I don't know if that will help you, but it'll give you an idea of other places you can teach. Most of these companies also contract out to large universities such as Kobe Uni, prefectural schools and the Foreign Language School of Osaka (which is now part of Osaka Univ.).
Best of luck with trying to find a new job.