I suppose since I've sort of involved you all in the process, I might as well keep you updated on the situation. That, and with this pretty much taking control of 95% of my active thought process, I can't really think about much else, let alone write an entry that would be worth reading.
So, as you all may know, I'm planning on proposing to my current girlfriend this Christmas. We've had some ups and downs, but she's a really good girl who truly loves me. That, and she has yet to innovate any oral sex maneuvers based on sea creatures, so I figure I'm safe. Everyone who meets her says they really like her as well, so I'm trying to use that as a gauge. Everyone who met the infamous ex, absolutely hated her. Even people who only talked to her for like 30 seconds. Which makes me think that she has a nasty pair of devil horns or an aura of Pure Evil or something that only I was oblivious to. How'd that happen, anyway?
Az's Heart: Hmm, something's wrong.
Az's Anxiety: Hmm, something's wrong.
Az's Brain: Hmm, something's wrong.
Az's Penis: Mmm, sweet Japanese tail.
Az's Brain: Hey, are you paying attention down there?
Az's Penis: Nope, and now, neither are you. ULTIMATE VETO POWER, ACTIVATE!
Az's Brain: ...Mmm, sweet Japanese tail.
Anyway, current girlfriend. Proposal. First step was the ring. And before anything else, a GIANT thank you to all donators who pitched in anything at all, to help me buy a ring. Your contributions are very greatly appreciated. Ideally, I'd like to send a thank you email or something to all who donated - realistically, I don't have that kind of time. I'll try, but I can't make any promises. Just know that it's very, very, very much appreciated.
So, back to the ring. We headed out to downtown Kyoto one day to do some shopping. I managed to negotiate some time away from her - one hour. One hour to decide on an engagement ring isn't a whole lot of time, so I had to act quickly. I headed to one of the high-class department stores right off the bat. I found one corner with some really nice, expensive rings. My girlfriend likes simple, and I felt that these rings were simple, yet elegant.
Now, usually when you're casually looking at rings, the sales ladies will be falling over themselves to rush over to you and try to convince you to buy one before the price tag scares you off. I of course, am still big Gaijin in Japan, so the ladies just kind of sideways-eyeballed me wondering what I could possibly want with their jewelry. I finally asked one lady (who looked like a living, breathing, Japanese barbie doll caked in makeup) about the diamond content of one of the rings.
Me: So are these pure-cut diamonds?
Her: Yes, they are. ...Japanese OK?
Me: Yes, Japanese OK.
Her: Oh! Ah, I see. What kind of ring are you interested in?
Me: Well, I'm looking for an engagement ring.
Her: Oh! An engagement ring! ...For your girlfriend?
Me: Yes, that's usually who would receive an engagement ring...
Her: ...Is she Japanese?
Me: ...No, she's a gorilla.* Yes, she's Japanese.
*The truth is out - I'm going to propose to Misty. I must make that hot monkey lovin mine for the rest of my life.
The lady does show me some nice rings, albeit expensive. There was one I really liked, and I wanted to buy it on the spot. However, I wasn't sure of my girlfriend's ring size, and according to Barbie Doll-san, a mistake in the size can be catastrophic. We both decided it would be best for me to confirm the size before buying. Barbie-san suggested I sneak away my girlfriend's current ring and bring it in for an actual sizing. She might as well have asked me to steal the nuclear football out of the White House. I think that would be easier actually.
So I went to a different store called The Loft. I've bought some jewelry from them before, and they're usually pretty good about helping me determine the size. I was looking at rings when a young girl came over my way and asked if I needed any help - in English! I'm long past the point of feeling like I have something to prove in Japanese, so I explained my situation to her in English. She speculated that my girlfriend's size would be a 9, and even showed me a popular line of rings that she thought my girlfriend might like. The rings were nice, but not nearly as expensive. While that makes my pocketbook very happy, I sort of figured that for something as large as a proposal, I needed to not be stingy. My hour was beginning to run out, so I told the girl I'd have to go, but I would give the matter more consideration. As I was about to leave, she said "Wow, your girlfriend is really lucky. If things don't work out with her, come find me, okay?" ...Wow.
And what is up with that, anyway? When I'm dating, women are literally throwing themselves at me, but when I'm single my dating life as about as active and exciting as a senior citizen's game of shuffleboard. Delayed by rain. Ladies, do you have any sort of explanation for why this is?
I meet up with my girl, and ideally, we'd go home and I would play video games or we could have sex for hours on end or someone would just deliver a well-done steak with all the trimmings right to my doorstep. But as you all know by now...my life just doesn't roll like that.
Girl: Do you mind if we do a little more shopping.
Me: *heavy sigh* I suppose not. Where do you want to go?
Girl: I really want to go to The Loft.
Me: (internally) ....FUCK!
Me: (spoken) ....Okay...let's go...to...The Loft.
Girl: ...You okay there?
Me: Yeah. Just thinking about coincidence and cursing God - you know how I do.
So naturally, I'm a little worried. She wants to go to the place where I was just sizing up engagement rings. We entered, and the friendly store clerk from before spots me. She begins to wave and come over, but then she sees girl attached to my arm, and stops. Thank you, store clerk! Girlfriend is looking at various things in the store, naturally eventually landing on the rings. "You really like rings, huh?" I say casually. "Of course I do, I'm a girl! I always want a ring." She says. I think this is an *excellent* opportunity to figure out her size, and as I'm trying to discreetly hand her random rings to try on, the English-speaking store clerk comes over...with a finger sizing guide! I LOVE this woman! We confirm that her size is indeed a 9, and then the clerk as a part of her usual sales routine, shows my girlfriend the same line she'd showed me earlier. The girlfriend loved them (I'd thought they were a bit too cheap...). So not only did I get a size confirmation, I also got a style and price range as well. This store clerk is awesome. When the girlfriend wasn't looking, I gave her a smile and a wink, and mouthed the words "if things don't work out, you are next on the list sweetie." Okay, I didn't actually do that, but I was thinking it, and hopefully she was tuned in to my brain wave patterns or something and got the message.
With girlfriend now on a substantial ring kick, its easy enough to go back to the first department store to look at rings there. I show her the very expensive rings I was looking at earlier - girlfriend isn't interested. Well, I just dodged a very expensive bullet there, didn't I? Barbie-san is still there, and she recognizes me of course, but also recognizes girlfriend, and smartly doesn't do anything to give away my plans. Girlfriend ends up finding her ideal ring in a different part of the store - the one ring to rule them all. The size was even a perfect fit! She put the ring back, chalking it up to "maybe one day", but unknown to her I doubled back later and bought it. And made sure to throw it into hot flames before hiding it, and make sure that no Elvish writing appeared on the band. ...You never can be too sure.
So ring...check.
The next step was parental consent. Various people had told me that I did or did not need to clear my intentions with the parents beforehand, but I had decided that it was something I wanted to do. The timing actually worked out kind of well. As I was thinking of contacting the mother, my girlfriend picked a fight with me because I was breathing in a manner she didn't approve of (this was while she was PMS'ing, or as I like to call it, "Devil Trigger Bitch From Hell Week"). She called her Mom to complain about my offensive breathing habits, and the Mom told her to shove it and apologize to me. The Mom then sends me an email apologizing for her daughter and asking me to please hang in there. I mailed back and mentioned that there was something I wanted to talk about, would it be okay to meet up with her privately. We set a time to meet one Saturday evening.
The Mom gave me some useful advice for dealing with the difficult part of her daughter's personality, especially the Devil Trigger Bitch From Hell Week ("...Run. Run fast, run far, don't look back..."). After some build-up and properly psyching myself up, I told her my intention to propose on Christmas and asked if that would be okay. The Mom cried and said of course it was okay, that I was already more or less a part of the family. She also said she was insanely jealous of her own daughter for having found a guy like me.
Though perhaps dying remnants of a fading generation, there are still parents who are hesitant, or flat-out opposed, to letting their daughters marry foreigners. I'm sure prejudice and xenophobia play some part in that. But another somewhat valid concern is that we foreigners don't tend to stay in Japan indefinitely, we do go back to our home countries at some point, and usually take our girlfriends/wives with us. The family is perhaps concerned about their daughter going overseas to a country she may not be familiar with to stake a new life with some guy who may or may not even speak her language. Things will be difficult for her regardless of how well the relationship works, and if it doesn't work out (which does happen) then she can be stuck in a foreign land very far away from home.
Now, I've never ever felt that the Mom didn't approve of our relationship in any way (she told my girlfriend when we first started dating "as long as he makes you happy, I don't care where he's from") but it was good to officially make my intentions known and be sure that it was okay with her. So, parental consent: check.
The only thing left now is convincing myself.
Practically, I know there's no reason not to. I believe we can spend the rest of our lives together, create a happy family together, and all that mushy gooey nonsense. It's just a matter of fighting off those doubts and hesitations in the back of one's mind. The "M" word is a very, very big one. I don't particularly want to get divorced, so this is something I only want to do once in my life. I have to decide very, very carefully. Of course, the usual guy insecurities factor in as well...
Az's Heart: She's a wonderful girl, and we love her very much.
Az's Brain: She does offer a lot, and I don't think that we could find better even if we tried.
Az's Anxiety: I dunno...marriage is a big thing...but she is a nice girl...
Az's Penis: Wait a minute, hold the phone here. Stop the presses.
Az's Heart: What's wrong?
Az's Penis: Okay, so if we do this marriage thing right...you all do realize that we can never have sex with another woman ever again, right?
Az's Brain: Hmm. Hadn't thought of that.
Az's Penis: So, what am I supposed to do? Be content with the same meal over and over for the rest of my life? What happened to going out and trying new things?
Az's Heart: New is fun, but it has no depth. New girls don't bother to remember who our favorite Decepticon is or spend months tending to us while we had a broken collarbone without ever complaining even once.
Az's Penis: C'mon guys! Remember that dream we had of experiencing a girl from every country? A threesome? A girl with huge tittays?
Az's Brain: That's not really realistic...
Az's Penis: Sure it is! All we have to do is go out there and get it!
Az's Heart: And lose something wonderful in the process, yeah.
Az's Penis: Not to mention the statistic of sex frequency plummeting after marriage...especially in Japan.
Az's Brain: Well, we are getting older...we can't act like a vigorous 17-year old anymore.
Az's Heart: Who needs to have all that sex anyway?
Az's Anxiety: I'm tired from work and just want to drink a beer and watch some TV.
Az's Penis: Oh my God...you guys are turning Japanese!
Az's Anxiety: Are not!
Az's Penis: Are too! Fine, you wanna play that game, I can be Japanese too...
All: ...NO!!!
Az's Heart: C'mon, it's not that bad.
Az's Brain: Yeah. At least we still have pr0n.
So, the countdown is on. Christmas is a little over two weeks away. I've made up my mind....more or less. I don't know if the anxiety or nagging little doubts will ever go away, but I do know what I want to do. It's just a matter of doing it, is all.
I look back on my time in Japan, and it kind of amazes me. I've gone from dancing around 12-year old boys, trying not to get grabbed or poked in the ass, to psyching myself up for a marriage proposal. And all in within a 5 year timespan. Does life move this quickly/extremely for anyone else, or is it just me?
Okay, that's enough of the introspective LiveJournal nonsense for one day. Next time I'll have something more interesting to write about. Like, the Yakuza. Or, porn vending machines. Or, rabid child molesters with knives riding lions. Whatever should happen to come my way.
First comment!
I just want to say that I have been a fan since outpostnine, and I want to congratulate you for your decision, and I wish you all the best.
Whatever happens, good or bad, do know that here is a fan from another side of the globe that will always pray for you.
Wow, I'm so glad for you, and I hope it all goes well. If I met a girl who took care of me without complaint while I was immobilized with a collarbone injury, I'd try my damned best not to let her go. You can't even find family members like that nowadays. From one kokujin to another, I'm glad some good has come out of your staying in Japan (jk).
Now why does a guy seem more attractive to women when they are dating rather than single? Well for one, there is the commitment factor, and two is the fact that you are actually dateable. If you are single, you have to get over the perception that you are too much of a loser to have a girlfriend. It's a cruel but understandable truth.
Psssh..almost spewed out my drink when i read "gorilla". That was unexpected for sure. :D
Anyways i'm so happy for you, as i'm sure many other readers are. Good luck Az!
Wow, how exciting! and scary.
You're absofuckinglutely right about the girls being more available when you're taken thing, too. :|
It's great to read that things are going well for you, too.
I hope when she stuck out her finger to try the
ring, you didn't have flashbacks.... :)
Hey Az, I wish you the best of the luck for the future, i would love to donate to you a large sum of money but since you haven't replied to my emails about meeting you... =\
I will be in japan shortly.
Anyways all the best with the Proposal, good luck buddy, you will need it! =D
hey az, i've been reading your work since way back in the day when it was on outpostnine.
and i'm really impressed that you have been able to keep up the posting for so long. both in how frequent the entires came and the good quality of them
so keep up the good work!
Meh, another one bites the dust. Never understood why people truly in love would need or want the confinement of marriage, but I guess I won't go into that today, as it doesn't sound like Az's Anxiety needs any more ammo. Whatever floats your boat, mang. :P
Well, also the best wishes and all the luck
of the world to you, from the Austrian Guy.
To think that the man who wrote the "Death of a nice guy" and "Why" editorials finally found The One and is going to get married is really great.
Maybe this is a proof for Karma: For all the thinks you had to endure you're finally getting compensation. And with your Karma, you probably live a happy life with her for the rest of your life (I certainly wish you that).
And yes, it really moves that quickly, don't get me started on that ... where has the time gone too. *sigh*
Now psyche yourself up to Super High Tension State and ask the question!
According to my husband, the whole being attractive when dating vs single really happens. Oh, and being married makes you even more attractive.
Tell your penis that married girls try to keep their husbands very very happy in bed; it makes them easier to manipulate, I mean, live with. :)
Huge fan of your posts here Az, I really wish you a good life with your future wife. I think its wonderful that you can find someone you can share your life with
Good luck. You... really don't sound all that sure, though. I hope you're making the right decision :-/
Funny you mentioned LiveJournal since that's where I read your feeds.
Good luck and premptive congrats.
I'm sorry not to have been one of those who contributed for your ring, but being out of a job and with currently less money than a Bill Clinton after passing a viagra store, I couldn't help ya.
Honestly, it takes "cohones" to take a big step like that. What if:
- she turns out to be psychotic and this is all a facade.
- she's secretly cheating on you?
- she becomes a totally different person after marriage
- after having you, she figures there's no more interest in that nasty sex business
- she's a transsexual named Bubba
- she has a chicken fetish
- she just wants you for your money
- she spends her time kancho'ing ya afterwards
- she's an alien
- she's an ax murderer (popular there, I see)
these are the things I'd worry about. Still, cohones. And as a reader ever since you hide onlye a handfull of posts on outpost nine, thank you for all that entertainment.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Congratulations! Life does indeed move fast. Three years ago, I was just out of college with zero job prospects and living with my parents. Today I'm engaged, living with my fiance, and have a real job. We're getting married in September. ^.^ We're also looking to buy a new house. ... There's a lot going on. But so long as you keep your wits about you, you can keep moving forward.
While only having stumbled upon your site in the last month or so, I've found it to be hilarious, charming and charming. I wish you all the best.
Yo Az.. I only donated 20 bux .. but if it helped I'm glad bro!
Yes single women want us involved men!
To them it's a sisterhood of the penis.
If 1 sister thinks thats good penis, alot of the others want to try it out too.
Yo Az, check it dawg.. remember how you said "who's going after spanish chicks now? I sense alot of untapped potential".
I took your advice. I'm now dating this sexy Brazilian chick, a real portuguese mami if you know what I sayin .. and since then I've been getting noticed more.
Same shit as you G. Up in the store and I'm looking for stuff for her and wouldn't ya know it.. a store clerk is puttin her hands all over me and getting fresh and saying shit like "if I was your woman, I'd like you to get me this".
WTF!
women are wired weird, so take my advice .. don't stray! those women that chase other womens men ain't worth the time!
But yo dawg.. keep this shit coming!
Curtis Cage(d) Penguin
Loyal Reader since Feb 06 :)
I got married to a wonderful woman out of college. We've been married for seven years.
My penis tries to talk me into big breasts and threeways on a daily basis. The nice part of being married for seven years is when I bring it up to my it doesn't cause a fight, I just get laughed at before she goes back to whatever she was doing.
It never goes away, but congratulations anyway!
Congratulations Az! I would write it in Japanese, but I am fearful that I might accidentally call you something terrible. ^.^'
There's always being poly, duder. She might dig it.
As long as you keep in mind the Coolidge effect & work against it, things shouldn't end up like Shogun.
I've been reading these editorials for a few years, and I'm amazed at this. Five years and you're about to take the dive. I wish you luck and hope it goes well. You have people all around the world rooting for you.
Go for it Az! May the Force Be With You!
Hey AZ, hey AZ, her mom sounds really cool. You should add that to your plus list. I'm looking forward to your post-xmas blog!
BTW, something you said a while ago has really been bothering me. When you say that Japanese TV is the most terrible thing ever invented, are you talking about the doramas? Somehow doramas have become the only TV I'll watch now, it's been like that for a few months. But now, every time I pop on a show, I have my mental manifestation of AZ in front of your banner's backdrop, laughing at me. You weren't talking about the doramas, were you?!
I'm so excited for you! I can't wait to hear more.
And don't worry, contrarily to popular belief, married men have sex more often than unmarried men the same age. (Probably because "I've got a headache" doesn't beat having no sex for two years because you don't even have a girlfriend).
Plus, maybe you won't have sex with any other woman again, but, well, you can't say you'd been having sex with 5 women a night before, right? And you love her, so...
What I mean is, I'm very happy for both of you. And that employee's good.
While I hear your doubts, it sounds like even through them you're convincing yourself. And if it's as good as you say, then she already sounds worth it. So my two cents (though unasked): Go for it! Life is short.
...but, if you want to maybe move your fears along, have "the talk." Because marriage is a two way street. It takes BOTH people together to make it work, one person can't do it alone if the other is unwilling to try. Just kind of both agree that if you go into this, you both make it work.
And now that I'm through with my AM Morning Talk Show spiel, my reply to your question about girls is: you've said it yourself in your OP9 editorials! They want what they can't have! And they have a natural radar for it! I've seen it in action. lol
Good luck, Az, and don't be afraid to go for it. You deserve some happiness in your life.
GO AZ, YOU CAN DO IT!
Wedding ceremonies should not be just about the women. I want you to represent us well and muscle your way into the planning. Then I want you to sneak some manly things into it.
for example:
1. All candles must shoot 6 inch flames.
2. The bridesmaids and groomsmen must pop, lock, and break down the aisle ala http://youtube.com/watch?v=Leg3WJnttfc
3. If they insist on "Here Comes the Bride", you insist on "Highway to Hell", or any song of equivalent or greater manliness. I suggest you stick to songs of either the rock/funk/rap variety...but that's my personal taste...
4. All vows come with shredding rock guitar backup:
"...I do swear to love *srrrraaawwww*, honor *swwwiddaw*, and obey *plays scale*"
5. Lace and flowers are acceptable
...don't look at me that way...
6. lazer or chainsaw cuts cake.
Az:
I wish you all the best.
I just donated a bit (perhaps some others will read this and realize that it is still not to late).
Anyway, I look forward to photos of (and stories about) your children.
Az: So, parental consent: check.
The only thing left now is convincing myself.
You were considering telling her mom you were going to propose and not going through with it? That obasan would have it out for you for years.
Ever had a woman kick you in the nuts? Repeatedly? Not fun
Congratulations, Az! I'm happy you've found the woman to be with for the rest of your life. If I remember right, this is the same girl that you were riding with on the bus right after your first date, when your students saw you? Didn't one of the girl students say something about you marrying this girl? Kind of prophetic, in a weird yet cool sort of way, huh?
Don't listen to all the folks adding their own anxiety factors; the "nagging doubts" are normal for anyone who hasn't taken the plunge yet. But, if any of them seem to get stronger as you get closer to your nuptials, seek premarital counseling, if they have that in Japan, to be sure you've got those issues taken care of before you walk down the aisle (the sessions usually take about 6 to 8 weeks, depending on the counselor). Heck, seek it out anyway, so that you have a little wisdom under your belt from someone who's seen dozens of couples take the plunge.
From what you tell of how things worked out for the ring & Mom's blessings, I think God may have opened all the doors for you because this is the right girl; if it wasn't, you might still be wondering if you had even seen the right ring for her, and not had one in hand yet.
You probably have a great romantic idea for how you will pop the question, but if you haven't thought about it, let me make a suggestion: My husband proposed by telling me a fairy tale which ends with the "prince" eating a meal with his "maiden," then taking the maiden's hands (at which point he took hold of mine), he asks "(Name), will you marry me?" Even now, when I tell people the story, the women get jealous & the guys call my husband dawg. You've probably got the perfect way to ask already in mind, but if not, this suggestion just might fuel those creative juices (and you can use this, if this sounds like a good idea to you).
Let us know when you set the date, and be sure to add a link to your gift registry & paypall to all your stories from that point, up until your last story before the big day. That way, we who have been in on your thought process up on this subject, can also sort of attend the ceremony, in a giftie sort of way!
But, I'm not one of those girls who gets excited about weddings, or anything. ;)
Way to go Az!
I'm happy when you're happy =)
Keep us updated.
Good luck with your proposal!
Even though I don't know you, I wish you the best.
Hello Az!!! I wish you the best of luck. We're all cheering for you!
Good luck with the proposal man. She sounds like a really wonderful girl even with the Devil Trigger Bitch From Hell so count your blessings and stay strong. I'm glad if I helped in anyway and remember if your eye starts to wander there is a good chance that the place it's wandering to is one that is a place where STDs flourish, it is Japan after all...
As for a thank you I'd be happy with a "Happy Birthday" since I just turned 26 yesterday and so far the only present I got was a 16 hour work day...
(Az's Note: Happy Birthday!
Don't worry about not doing anything special. I didn't really do anything big for my 26th either. I guess that's just a sign of getting old, eh? :cry:
go get her, tiger!
That. Is adorable. I'm incredibly happy for you. There better be wedding pictures! Hey - does your girlfriend even know you have this blog up? I remember reading that she didn't...
But! I'm so happy. I'm sitting in my mythology class with a huge smile on my face for you.
And maybe I have an answer for that...single vs taken question...
If a guy is single - there's something wrong with him. Otherwise, he wouldn't be single. If he's a good guy - why isn't he taken?
Us chicks have gone through a lot of, meeting a great guy but finding out they're already taken, situations to know this.
So...if a guy we meet is taken and has been long enough to want to propose to his girlfriend...he's gotta be a great guy for her to be with him long enough to want to propose.
Make sense?
Well, 5 years is a long time to me. I dunno if it always will be but it sure as hell is now (I'm still only 18, yeesh). It sounds like a pretty normal occurance of events to happen over 5 years, but then, I've never been the type to settle long. I've never held a job for more than a month, never stayed in the same school for more than 2 years, never had the same girl for more than 2 months, etc. So maybe it's just me, but that all sounds pretty normal. =P
ANYWAY. Congrats on the marriage, Az. I'm sure weeaboos around the planet are, as we speak, an heroing that a large black man should secure yet another one of the precious few Japanese girls who actually have an interest in foreigners.
...
Good job.
On a completely unrelated note, I don't know how the legendary "No Hands Jack" feels like. =[
Uwaaaah, congratulations! ^^ I sincerely hope she says yes, good luck! ^^
And as for why women seem much more availible when you're dating someone, here it is coming from a female. Could be one of two reasons: A, natural human desire is to want what someone else has, so they want a man more when he's already taken. And B, they see a man who's dedicated to his girlfriend and are jealous of that, but if they were to see a single guy, there's that subconscious thought of "he must not have a girlfriend because he's not that great a guy". So, having a girlfriend and staying faithful to her makes a man more desireable. I'm sure if you were to have a girlfriend and yet do stuff with other women too, they wouldn't be very availible then either. Because "man who cheats on his girlfriend" isn't something any girl wants.
XD Again, good luck~! ^^
Congrats. Question though. This may have been asked before. Is this a surprise and does she read your stuff? Because if she did, it wouldnt be much of a surprise, right? And if she didnt, then why not?
(Az's Note: Well, she doesn't understand English...)
You can have your woman, I'll take the chick at the ring shop. She sounds like a smart one.
She was cute, right?
Az, I hope you find happiness in marriage with her, She sounds like a wonderful woman.
Somehow I was never expecting this to happen. Congrats on finding someone that fits you so well. I wish I had heard of the donation thing before now, I would've chipped in if I had. Keep us updated on how all this works out. Good Luck! :D
Sounds like you love her bro. Obviously you'll have your doubts (it IS scary) but I'd personally go for it. That being said it really doesn't matter what I'd do. I just wish you the best of luck no matter what you do. We're all rooting for ya.
That final internal dialogue, damn that sounds familiar. Good luck!
when you're on your death bed, are you going to say "damn I wish I had had sex with more women!" if you marry her. If you don't marry her, do you think your regrets will outweigh your current doubts.
I say go for it, based on every single gaijinsmash entry.
Anyway, how does a JAPANESE person have Xenophobia? That's like a NYC native waking up half way through their lives and suddenly be afraid of people.
and a question ive been wondering for a long time: How much money did you get donated?
Bravo, Bravo good sir. I congratulate you on coming to terms! I wish nothing but the best for you my friend!
Awww, I'm a chick and this article made me so happy! I hope she says yes!
A few things to try and settle your worries. :)
Despite your girlfriend having PMS and getting upset over strange little things (such as you not noticing she deleted you off her friends on the Mixi page), the both of you seem to get along very well. You've been together for a while, so I can assume the both of you know each other quite well by now. Her parents love you, your parents love her. Judging from all your mentions of the standard Japanese sex life, you're probably making her very happy in bed, and vice versa. You've been living together for some time, so you know she is somebody you could definitely share a home with.
DO EET!
congrats man! wow you have made some steps from nice guy to asshole to soon to be married. i know how you feel, when you finally find that one girl, just go for it, you won't regret it, and for your penis, when the marriage is good, so is the sex! Update soon!!!