So I have to be an "Active ALT" at one of the schools. Which meant no more sleeping at my desk. Which is a shame, because sleeping at work is just a notch below "That Extra 5 Minutes in the Morning" as the best sleep ever. Oh well, time to wipe the drool off my face and actually do something productive, I suppose.
One of my extracurricular duties included making a monthly English newspaper. By newspaper, I really mean just a big sheet of poster paper with some kind of story or article written on it in English that would be put up on the bulletin board outside the teachers' room. The teachers showed me the last one the previous ALT had written before he'd left. It was something about the fish canals in Seattle, Washington.
Clearly, the guy had no clue about the interests of Japanese students.
It's a common mistake really. A lot of ALTs come in all enthusiastic about getting to teach Japanese kids about their home country. There are people who try to give talks about the Boston Tea Party or the white sands of New Mexico, or even the annual watermelon seed spitting contest of Portland, Oregon. And while that's all well and good, these people often forget to take into account one crucial aspect--Japanese kids just don't give a flying fuck. Japanese kids don't give a shit about stuff that's actually Japanese, they certainly can't be asked to care about something that's over a whole ocean away.
I found this out during my first year of teaching.
Kids: Hey, what do you like to do on the weekends?
Me: Well, I like to go into Kyoto and meet friends.
Kids: Kyoto! Wow, that's really far away!
Me: WTF? It's only 30 kilometers away! Less than an hour by train!
Kids: OMG, so far. You really like to travel.
Me: It's only 30km away!
Kids: So, what's it like out in Kyoto? Is the weather the same as it is down here?
Me: THIRTY. MOTHERFUCKING. KILOMETERS.
So unless the fish canal article described how the fish ended up directly on their dinner plates, I doubt the kids cared. If I was going to put the effort into making it, I wanted the kids to at least read it. Or, at least stand there and look at it for a few minutes before saying "eigo wakaran" (I dunno English) and going off to go fondle each other lovingly in the hallways, blow on a duck horn, camp outside a bathroom window, or whatever the fuck it is these kids are doing these days.
So I decided to write about the explosion of anime and manga in America. This always gets a huge kick out of Japanese people, no matter how old they are. When it comes to internationalism in Japan, there is nothing Japanese people love more than--
1. Japanese people succeeding overseas.
2. The chance to laugh at non-Japanese people being stupid.
The anime/manga explosion in America gives Japanese people a chance to accomplish both at the same time, which gives them a twisted sense of orgasmic joy that they haven't experienced since...ever, perhaps. Every now and then the evening news does a story about it. I saw one such story once-at the end of the story, one of the reporters read off a list of the top three anime in America.
Male Reporter: And apparently, the top three most popular anime in America now are Naruto, Inu Yasha, and Bleach.
Female Reporter: Ah, soo desu ka?
Now, as many of you may know, the Japanese language is filled with all sorts of tiny nuances that can radically change the meaning of a word or phrase. For you amateur Japanese students out there, you might have read the female reporter's response as, "Ah, is that so?" However, if you had actually seen the look on her face as she said that, you would have realized that this is a much better translation.
Male Reporter: And apparently, the top three most popular anime in America now are Naruto, Inu Yasha, and Bleach.
Female Reporter: I have no idea what the fuck you just said. Was that even Japanese?
I decided to write about the American anime/manga explosion, and to help pad for space I threw in a blurb about cosplay and figured I could provide a picture as well. This turned out to be sort of a mini-dilemma--what kind of picture would I include? I briefly considered using my All-Time Favorite Cosplay Picture, Sol Badgirl. However, I quickly ruled that out--I got the feeling that most boys would just skip reading the article and stare at Ms. Badgirl's massively wonderful cleavage. I wouldn't blame them--hell, *I* would stop reading and just stare into Titty Valley. Plus, Sol Badgirl is too good. I thought it wouldn't be as fun to include a picture of cosplay that actually works.
Then that brings us to bad cosplay. And certainly, there is some horrendous shit out there. And while I'm sure it would have been madly entertaining, I had to think about what impression I'd be giving these kids. Kids are terribly impressionable--ESPECIALLY Japanese kids, and I didn't want an entire school of kids running around thinking this kind of thing was the norm in America. No, I had to do some damage control.
I eventually found a Naruto group cosplay picture. It wasn't extraordinarily bad, nor was it exceptionally good. It was just average. I thought this was a good medium--entertaining, yet not damning. I printed it out to use in my newspaper.
(I would LOVE to reproduce the Naruto cosplay picture I found here, but I just don't have it anymore. I tried looking for it, but I realized after an hour that that was quite impossible. Looking for one specific Naruto cosplay picture is like looking for whale semen in the ocean--you know it's there, but there's no way to distinguish it from all the other crap, and even if you do find it you'll just wish you hadn't.)
As my desk was too small for the large newspaper, I took all my supplies to a nearby conference room. There, a group of sannensei girls were working on sewing some skirts for what looked to be a school presentation. I asked if I could have a corner of table space to work on my newspaper, and they graciously agreed. I spread out my supplies and began to work on the article.
After a few minutes, one girl came over and took a look at what I was doing. Quickly losing interest in the English (as most Japanese schoolkids are prone to), she began to look at the pictures. Suddenly, she just started laughing. It wasn't like an explosive burst or anything, but like a chuckle that gained downhill momentum, fast. The picture eventually just got the best of her, as she fell to her knees, with her head buried on the desk, laughing.
Gee, wonder which picture she found?
Her friends eventually come over to see what's so interesting. The girl is completely paralyzed--the best she can do is weakly offer up the picture to the newcomers. The second girl takes one look at it, and also collapses into a laughing heap on the floor. This causes pretty much all the girls to now rush over and see what the fuss is all about.
This is another one of those times where I just need to step back and let the situation explain itself.
Girl 3: Holy crap, what is this?
Girl 1: (still in stitches) I...can't...breathe....
Girl 4: Is this...Naruto? Is this...cosplay? Is this...Americans cosplaying Naruto?!
Girl 5: I think it is supposed to be Naruto. Look, there's Naruto right there. And look, there's Kimimaro.
Girl 2: No, that's not Kimimaro. Kimimaro was sick, but he wasn't THAT pale and thin!
Girl 5: Well, I think it's supposed to be Kimimaro.
Girl 3: Look, that's Orochimaru!
Girl 4: Wow. I didn't think that character could be anymore disgusting, but hey look, they found a way to do it.
Girl 2: ...Is this supposed to be Kakashi?
Girl 4: No. Kakashi's not a tub of lard. That's gotta be Chouji.
Girl 3: No no, look--he's got the face mask and a copy of Icha Icha Paradise. That has to be Kakashi.
Girl 4: Maybe if Kakashi stopped working out and ate chocolate cake everyday...
Girl 2: Look at this girl, pretending to be Sakura! Look at her smiling, as if she's doing nothing wrong.
Girl 1: (Is trying to speak, but is still laughing too hard--I think she may actually be dying.)
Girl 3: Is this a real picture? Like, you didn't make this up with any computer voodoo, did you?
Me: Nope, that's a real picture. Real people went to an anime convention, actually dressed like that.
Girl 2: So, like, there were no mirrors in their houses, and nowhere along the way to the convention, were there?
Me: I'm pretty sure there had to have been a mirror at some point...
Girl 2: So you're trying to tell me that they did this intentionally?! .....WOW.
Keep in mind, that the picture I'd printed out, I considered to be "average." I shudder to think what might have happened had I printed out one of the bad ones.
The girls are now absolutely enthralled by the picture, and by corollary now interested in my article as well. They even try to read it, despite it being in English. Since they're third years, they are able to understand most of it. Girl 1 finally recovers, and decides to ask me a bit about cosplaying in America.
Girl 1: So, there's anime and cosplay in America?
Me: Yeah, anime is really popular in America now. Some people go to conventions. And some people do cosplay. Not all, but some.
Girl 1: What kinds of anime do they cosplay?
Me: Everything, really.
Girl 2: ...Everything?
Me: Yeah. Naruto, Inu Yasha, Dragon Ball, Sailor Moon...
Girl 1: How about Full Metal Alchemist?
Me: Yeah, that too.
Girl 1: Really?! Do they cosplay Al? (Alphonse Elric - a character that is a suit of armor....Not wearing a suit of armor, mind you, IS a suit of armor....Don't ask.)
Me: I'm sure they have at some point...
Girl 1: ...How? Judging from this picture, it seems like they'd just make a suit of armor out of cardboard.
Girl 2: Poor Al...
Girl 3: What else do they cosplay?
Me: Just about anything. There's even Gundam cosplay.
Girl 2: Gundam?! GUNDAM?!
Girl 1: ....Oh my God. So much cardboard.
After awhile, the period bell rang and the girls had to rush to their homerooms. But not before making me write down URL's with sites of American cosplay pictures on them. Girl 1 says as she heads off to her class, "If you don't see me at school tomorrow, you'll find me dead in front of my computer screen. Died from laughing too hard." Well, if the Joker ever wants to set his sights on Japan, apparently he can cut costs on developing deadly laughing gas, and just print out a few cosplay pictures and start handing them out on the streets. I don't think even Batman's supreme prep-time could save the Japanese.
I do want to re-iterate that the picture I chose, was by all means, average cosplay.
Don't think me mean or cruel. But, if you've ever cosplayed anime in your life, and someone took a picture of it...and if that picture just happens to be on the great wide interweb...there's a good chance there's a group of Japanese schoolgirls laughing at you as we speak.
i was wondering when you'd do an article on cosplay... WELL MET! =D
imo, not a fan of it... unless it's something really sexy, with ample breasts.
I almost fell out my chair laughing. Very funny, if only you could have found that Naruto cosplay picture, you might have had a few lawsuits for accidental death from laughter, take THAT Joker.
Now, I must now burn out my eyes with Draino.
Well, I'm not into cosplay but, as far as I know, they DO have loads of really good cosplayers, while here... well... if someone gets to 'average', that's already way too good...
Can't blame those japanese girls for having high standards and laughing at those 'baka gaijins'
(Az's Note: More than "high standards", I think it was just "OMG why are you dressed up as anime characters?!" It's not as common here as many people might think.)
You should of went with some Misa Amano (from Death Note) cosplay. Let us think about the reasons why it would be ungodly popular:
1) She is white.
2) She is blonde.
3) She has large boobies.
4) She is dressed in Gothic Lolita type clothes.
5) Repeat #1 - #4
http://img28.picoodle.com/img/img28/8/6/6/f_DSC04748m_a1e9b23.jpg
You would of promoted so quickly Azrael! Especially how that girl in the picture is jailbait and well...you know the rest!
Funny stuff Az.
Am I the only one that got angry looking at chubby Guile?... God damnit chubby Guile.
LOL I will admit I do like some of the better anime out there, but cosplayers always make me laugh. Its the reason I have never even gone to an anime convention, well that and I am not a big anime fan, just an average one.
P.S. In my defense I have been watching anime before it became popular here in the states, I am now starting to hate it more and more :( We use to get decent stuff like Akira, but now its mostly that naruto and yugio crap.
Laughing at American cosplayers is one of the highlights of going to any convention. There are a FEW good ones....but....fanboys...need I say more? Now what's REALLY funny??? the Furry cosplayers..THAT is something to see....Dammit Az, now I'm going to go laughing at cosplay pics on the net!!!!If I die laughing, I blame you! lol
(ps I got a PS3 for my birthday yesterday! I'll kick your ass on that too!!!)
Az, maybe you should remind thoes girls that even though cosplayers in America are weird, one 10 min. walk down Japanese fad lane will make even "out there" group look cool. All one has to do is look at the cowgirl/greaser/japunk fads to realize that the stuff japan has done in the past and present makes Poindexter from Revenge of the Nerds look like the Fonz.
http://squarehe.com/images/0604/greaser-hair.jpg
Greaser
http://homepages.nyu.edu/~cch223/japan/images/stalin_6.jpg
Punk
I regretably can not find a picture of the cowgirl fad. But I assure you that it was worse than the last two. I also what to say that the two pictures were the best I could find after an hour of looking.
Cosplay frightens me. The most "cosplay" I have ever done is Super Mario. On Halloween, in which I went around and begged for candy rather stand around a crowded hall and squeal about how Inuyasha is my "bishie" (for the record, I HATE that show!!!)
Did... that guy in the one picture... PISS himself?!?! I am officially terrified.......
Man-Faye ftw.
(That's actually the second blog i was able to say that in this week.)
Holy crap its man-faye, I see him every year at AX. But yes any good part of a convention is seeing some really really bad cosplays.
The second Gundam picture is the quintessential event of Americans co-opting the Japanese culture for their own amusement. Gundam suit, poorly constructed, "MADE IN USA" emblazoned across the chest.
That's right, without our presence in WWII, there wouldn't be any Gundam to loosely base your confusion and guilt coming out of the war on. Hahahaha!
...Looking at American cosplay is one of those things that just embarrasses me. I'm not sure if I'm embarrassed for them, or embarrassed by knowing they exist. Now, I haven't looked at cosplay pics for.. around ..wow, 7~ years I guess. But they were really, really bad when I did look. I always wonder why people don't want to create NICE looking outfits. They use crappy material, and don't ever bother to make something that even fits them.
Now, about that SolBadgirl pic.. am I the only one concerned that her face appears to be that of a child? She really..looks..like a kid to me... I can't enjoy another girl's cleavage if she looks like a kid. God, please don't let the pedophiles respond to that.
In today's news: GaiJinSmash! Japanese Schoolgirls killed by bad American Cosplay! Joker put to shame by obese Kakashi! Entrepreneurs in talk with organisers over setting up booth selling mirrors at next Anime Convention!
In other news: Gundam Cosplayer wins award for being environmentally friendly by recycling enormous amount of used cardboards!
My Japanese exchange roommate keeps trying to convince me to go to the "otaku neighborhood" of Tokyo and COSplay as Temari from Naruto (apparently I look like her). I tell her I'll go if she goes with me naked (because she's hot). Neither of us has given into the others demands... yet.
I understand the girls' entertainment with the picture, good job getting them to read the English. Maybe to get their attention more you should have put up a horrible COSplay picture next to an awesome one. For variety. Preferably NOT the Lee one you posted. Ewwww......
Az, dude, what did I see in the third picture of the bad cosplays...
/b/? You're not....
That girl beside man-Faye looked pretty hot, for some reason, even if she was in side view and I don't know who exactly she's cosplaying. I wonder why...
I accidently discovered cosplay last year (well I did know it exists before but didn't give much thought) and exposure to it nearly killed me. I haven't laughed so much since watching Blackadder. There is festival in this land when there are masquerades all over the country but I never saw anything as hillarious as I saw on that site. It is one thing to watch a picture of yourself dressed as smurf twenty years ago, but completley another watching pictures of obese, hairy guys in Sailor Moon outfits.
Dude, that's an awesome idea...I might just print out some of those bad photos to show the students. Might get the bastard ones to asphyxiate.
LMAO at whale semen comment... but it's true, for every great, brilliant, terrific cosplay person (usually women, go figure, not complaining!) there's another nine waiting in the wings to show you how NOT to do it.
....I'm embarassed for america. And I hope to god that they never find my cosplay group's pictures.
But, America does come out with some amazing cosplayers at times. At MangaNEXT, the girl who won first in the cosplay contest (and she SO deserved it) made the most amazing Lady from Devil May Cry 3. Everything, down to the contacts, very awesome looking scar, and giant bazooka. She looked so much like Lady I questioned her for half an hour on line XDDD
But of course, I must be a friggen masochist but maybe it'll entertain you r your students:
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v348/XiaoHuLi/?action=view¤t=MOV00310.flv
Hare Hare Yukai with no music done in the middle of a New York mall by Kairi, Riku and Izumi.
Not saying which one I am.
Rules one and two.
Az is obviously a closet /b/tard. Barely an update goes by without a 4chan reference.
Oh, right: Man-Faye FTW. Anonymous also demands Sailor Bubba.
Anonymous is legion...
Could be worse. It could have been Sailor Man.
The cardboard Alphonse is actually from the Philippines...(it's still a bad costume, though). I did see another cheapskate costume (American). A guy was cosplaying as Gamabunta (Naruto). He had face make-up on and black t-shirt that says "gamabunta" on the front. It was actually funny.
I laugh like those Japanese girls at almost all cosplay pictures. American, Japanese, I find both equally ha-ha inspiring. Picked up a book on Japanese (just Japanese) cosplay at the book store a few months ago and laughed or cringed the whole way through.
If you cosplay, and especially if pictures are on the internet, someone somewhere will laugh their ass off at you.
Dude I so hate you for making this web site ! My friend gave me this web adres and for that, now I hate him too! I'm on the second year of japanese filology in Poland, my exams are not far away, and what I'm doing ? Huh ?! Reading all your posts and laughing my ass off instead of reading some japanese literature :) Anyway, thanks! Kancho thumbs up for you !
What do you mean the SolBadgirl face looks like a child?
Wow wait, you're right . . . she DOES have a face . . . dunno how I missed that . . .
D: wow, those Japanese have issues, I <3 Japan but seriously I can't decide who's worst, Japanese or Americans. Oh well.
I'm watching the news in Japanese and now they are doing the american segments. They showed Criss Angel escaping, I swear this news report couldn't care less about it. Simply says "Hai" at the end of reports. Seems like "whatever" lol.
And maybe you should have showned them Yaya Han or Yuffie Bunney (one of my friends) they are atleast good cosplayers.
Hey Az, you visit the /b/ or got it from another site?
I dunno, I was at A-kon this last weekend, and the cosplayers there seemed just fine. Very few of the overtly horrible "plastic box with gundam written on it" type stuff. Most of it was pretty cool; in fact, seeing the cosplays is probably the highlight of going to cons for me. I'm not that much of an otaku- I watch enough anime to recognize most of the costumes, but that's it.... but their enthusiasm is so earnest and awesome that it becomes infectious. The people at cons tend to be way friendlier than anywhere else Ive seen, too.
If only the fat fanboys would stop trying to cosplay as skinny or fit characters. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP.
I love you for this article. People who can't cosplay really shouldn't cosplay. I was hoping that if any Japanese happen to stumble upon an American cosplay site, he would feel horror and disgust. Uncontrollable laughter can only occur so often... Sigh, to stay true in character is too difficult...
I love you for this article. People who can't cosplay really shouldn't cosplay. I was hoping that if any Japanese happen to stumble upon an American cosplay site, he would feel horror and disgust. Uncontrollable laughter can only occur so often... Sigh, to stay true in character is too difficult...
OMFG! I KNOW THE GUY DRESSED AS FEY! I'M SO ASHAMED! *Cries* Gawd, did you know they pay him to actually go to cons and do that? Its scary. But I hafta say, there are some supremely good costumes out there.
I've gone to AX (anime expo) for nigh on 7 years now and every year you get uber horrible people who you wish would have actually WATCHED the anime, and then the ones who come from Japan and just blow all of us out of the water. Like the people who come every year dressed as FF characters. HOLY CRAP. Where the HELL did they get the material for 8 foot swords and make it look real?
Any ways, glad you showed them such wonderfulness, really. Thank you. You should mention to them people from THEIR country come here to cosplay, and that over here in america, if you have a beautiful costume and your hot and Japanese (a guy or girl) you WILL get laid. Very easily. Just keep that in mind little impressionable Japanese boys....
Eh, I've seen worse cosplays.
Come to think of it, some of those were from Japan as well. Bad taste knows no borders!
I hope it is allowed to post the following link of a picture taken of Angemon and Angewomon from Digimon... (At least that is how they and the show are called in Germany.) This was on Nihon Day in Düsseldorf... And it was really... err... interesting... I especially love Angemon's fitting shoes...
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1027/530292048_1e8eaf3287.jpg?v=0
Am I the only one disturbed that so many commenters think that what's funny is that these people are wearing low quality costumes? What's funny is that some 40 year old dressed up as a Japanese cartoon character, not that he didn't color his sword correctly.
Leidbag, I believe the cutie standing next to Man-Faye in that picture is cosplaying as Dizzy from the Guilty Gear series, which is the same series that the 'Sol Badgirl' character comes from. Well...except for the fact that it's "Sol BadGUY" in the original...D:
In any case...I've come to expect quality from Gaijinsmash, but this was just AMAZING. I lol'd so hard. Epic, epic win.
(Also, who DOESN'T hang around 4chan these days? Seems like everybody I know has rickrolled a few fools or shoop'd a few woops...)
Ahhh, good ol' Sol Badgirl. I love that picture. Being a fan of Guilty Gear helps. Okay, that's a lie. You don't need to know anything about Guilty Gear to like that photo, but it helps you apreaciate it besides the breast.
Just photoshop the "this kind of thing" image, cut everything but the girl on the left, and it becomes a very nice image. Though, if SolBadgirl is too much for the newspaper, so would that girl.
However, it could make a nice defensive weapon when some boys are causing trouble. Give them that image, you'll have, at least, an hour of peace.
I'm a huge anime fan but I've never done the whole cosplay/convention thing. But I assure you, if I ever feel an urge to dress up as Naruto I will do it well and the result will be awe-inspiring. It will take a lot of time but dressing up as anime characters really does make one look like a fool if not done right.
The more I think about it, though, how do you NOT look like a fool when the anime character you are modeling looks like a fat orange?
I can actually vouch for this one, despite never being in Japan. Australia gets quite a few exchange students (hell, we get quite a few Asians in general), and NO ONE finds cosplay more disturbing than them. You've got to remember that anime's been around, and popular, a damn long time in Japan. They're used to it now, it's just another TV show to them. Do you see us running around dressed up as Jack Bauer or someone from Lost or Heroes? No, 'cus it's normal TV, just like anime is to them. And if you saw someone clumsily dressed as Jack Bauer, you'd laugh too.
Hold on, did you just say that Inuyasha is actually popular?
Best cosplayer I've ever seen is a girl out of Texas named Jace Moore.
Starscream, Green Goblin, Grima Wormtongue, all amazing.
http://jacemoore.deviantart.com/gallery/?search=by:jacemoore%20sort:time%20-in:scraps+in:artisan/textiles/costumes§ion=browse
Oh, man. This is friggin' awesome. The reactions of those Japanese ladies were hilarious! :D
I am so going to have to show this to the cosplayer I know (she spent months making costumes), especially since her pics just made it up onto the Internet...
Wtf? What made those chubby girls think dressing up in skimpy Yuna/Sailor Moon costumes was a good idea? LMAO at the cardboard Gundam guy.