Wizdom
09-18-2005, 10:11 PM
Aint That a Bitch pt 6
Because Jay the Man, Brutha Fujin, Brutha Mushu, e-sister Shamu , Van and my ex ahisma wants it, here's another ATAB story.
*Disclaimer: this may contain explicit material that may gross out some people.
I’m actually perplexed about what types of stories you guys like. Playa stories or regular stories. So until I figure it out (or you tell me) I share some regular stories since I did two editorials on playa tips.
My Crazy Mom pt1:
The Setup: In high school, I was pretty active. I was in the chess club, chemistry club, card club, football, Track and field, I was in AP Calculus and I took classes at Yale. So at the end of the day I was both mentally and physically exhausted. The football season in particular wore me out. We had a coach that was insane and as militant as Castro on smack. Seriously! He would make us run miles before practice then do backwards pushups up bleachers then make us carry 400 pound linemen on are back and run up and down bleachers. And that was just warm up! Needless to say I was about as worn out as a hooker on two for Tuesday.
The story: So one day after a grueling day of school and practice, I just hoped in the tub and took a nice relaxing bath. I soaked in that tub for like 2 hours. When I came out I was as relaxed as Paris Hilton in a sex tape. My mom had just finished doing laundry so I had nice, warm underclothes waiting for me. I was all ready for chill mode.
“Where do you want me to put your clothes?” my mom said as I stared to dry myself off.
“On my dresser” I said like a schoolboy waking up on Christmas morning.
My mom put my clothes on my dresser and went to get my dinner.
“My mom is the shit!!” I thought as I put on my underwear.
“hmmm I love clothes fresh out the dryer” I said.
But something was strange. My underwear was warm but cool and soothing.
“Must be some new detergent” I thought.
But the underwear started to heat up. At first it was cool and soothing but now it was getting hot and burning. All of the sudden I realize that my mom had put my underwear on an open canister of Icy hot and I had a big glob of it in my shorts.
( icy hot is a pain reliever that is cool at first but then gets hot to massage the pain away) But on my nuts it was pain not a massage.
You talking about great balls of fire, my nuts fell like a blowtorch was searing them. It was hell on earth in my short. I ran around my room like a Jim Carrey on crack and was hooping and hollering like Whitney Houston had lost her smack.
I had to jump back in the tub to cool off my now smoking balls.
So the moral is, icy hot on your nuts is a suitable way torturer some one in to doing anything.
Because Jay the Man, Brutha Fujin, Brutha Mushu, e-sister Shamu , Van and my ex ahisma wants it, here's another ATAB story.
*Disclaimer: this may contain explicit material that may gross out some people.
I’m actually perplexed about what types of stories you guys like. Playa stories or regular stories. So until I figure it out (or you tell me) I share some regular stories since I did two editorials on playa tips.
My Crazy Mom pt1:
The Setup: In high school, I was pretty active. I was in the chess club, chemistry club, card club, football, Track and field, I was in AP Calculus and I took classes at Yale. So at the end of the day I was both mentally and physically exhausted. The football season in particular wore me out. We had a coach that was insane and as militant as Castro on smack. Seriously! He would make us run miles before practice then do backwards pushups up bleachers then make us carry 400 pound linemen on are back and run up and down bleachers. And that was just warm up! Needless to say I was about as worn out as a hooker on two for Tuesday.
The story: So one day after a grueling day of school and practice, I just hoped in the tub and took a nice relaxing bath. I soaked in that tub for like 2 hours. When I came out I was as relaxed as Paris Hilton in a sex tape. My mom had just finished doing laundry so I had nice, warm underclothes waiting for me. I was all ready for chill mode.
“Where do you want me to put your clothes?” my mom said as I stared to dry myself off.
“On my dresser” I said like a schoolboy waking up on Christmas morning.
My mom put my clothes on my dresser and went to get my dinner.
“My mom is the shit!!” I thought as I put on my underwear.
“hmmm I love clothes fresh out the dryer” I said.
But something was strange. My underwear was warm but cool and soothing.
“Must be some new detergent” I thought.
But the underwear started to heat up. At first it was cool and soothing but now it was getting hot and burning. All of the sudden I realize that my mom had put my underwear on an open canister of Icy hot and I had a big glob of it in my shorts.
( icy hot is a pain reliever that is cool at first but then gets hot to massage the pain away) But on my nuts it was pain not a massage.
You talking about great balls of fire, my nuts fell like a blowtorch was searing them. It was hell on earth in my short. I ran around my room like a Jim Carrey on crack and was hooping and hollering like Whitney Houston had lost her smack.
I had to jump back in the tub to cool off my now smoking balls.
So the moral is, icy hot on your nuts is a suitable way torturer some one in to doing anything.