Ladies Thread V.2.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Rules for Good Service:
Good Timing: I know this is subjective. Some useful hints: When I sit down, I'd like a menu, then I'd like you to get me some water, then I want to order my beer. When you bring the beer, please tell me about your specials. You can do it before the beer, but I like beer, and it makes the specials taste more delicious. Of course, you can't read my mind, so I don't REALLY blame you...
When I have my menu open and am discussing it with the gorgeous woman beside me, it's likely because we're deciding what to order. Asking me what I want to order will not help. If my girlfriend is being slow (as is often the case), at around 5 minutes (after having brought my beer, not 5 minutes from taking the drink order mind) you're allowed to ask me if I have any questions.
Bring our food together. I know this is tough because you can't control the chefs, and they may have screwed up, or whatever. Just bring 'em out together. Please. For the love of God please.
Once I have put my fork and knife down in the decided 'fork and knife parallel' (done with my meal) position, please don't scurry over to extract it from me. It can wait 3 minutes. The key exception is if you're bringing a ton more food and there's no space. In that case you can snatch it away with a smile.
Kind Service: You don't have to smile at me and offer to polish my knob if everything isn't satisfactory, you just have to make it seem like it isn't a chore to be there. I know it can be tough, and previous customers can get you down, but I promise if you treat me like a customer I'll make your life easier.
PLEASE Don't Offer Me Shit I Don't Need: I know that it's often restaurant policy to ask about desert or coffee after a meal, but if I've got half a pitcher of beer left in front of me, I don't need coffee, and if I wasn't able to consume the entirety of my mountain of food, I don't need dessert. I know this is unfathomable, but it tends to be true. I promise I'll tell you if I'm interested.
Timely Check!: When I ask for the check, it's because I want to leave. I realize there may be a line, or a delay, or you need to pull out the abacus to deduce my check from the amount of beers I've consumed, but please PLEASE bring it to me within 5 minutes. And most important -- come right back for it! Usually I will be struggling to count bills (make sure there are enough -- I may be seeing double), but often times I will be paying with a credit card which requires an additional trip! The whole process should under no circumstances take more than 10 minutes.
Give me some sort of departure greeting!: I'll even settle for 'large drunken lout departing on runway 6' or somesuch. Honest. Just some sort of acknowledgement that you are looking for more than to get another tip-payer into my seat while it's still warm. 'Thank you!' is ideal, 'Have a nice night!' is tremendous, and 'You left your wallet!' always merits a thanks from me.
I expect 4/5 things for reasonable service. Fewer than 3/5 gets me complaining to the manager. 5/5 with witty reparté on top, and/or making my girlfriend think that I'm a swell guy gets you a compliment to your manager and a bigger tip. As does giving me very full beers and/or prompt refills. Drunks are generous.

[Roxie]

Like you said, #3 is often resturaunt policy, but it's more like "rules". Things they MUST do and things that are expected of them by the establishment to do. Cause they do send in secret shoppers and you'll get docked and reprimanded for not doing #3.

It sucks, cause it's like, you're already in the resturaunt, you obviously want to eat there..but yea.

I'm surprised no one brought up tip share.

[Trump]

The problem is, there are many waiters and waitresses who are really bad at, well, everything. I'm not talking about everyone, or the people who work at the higher class establishments because those restaurants usually make sure their staff knows what they are doing (since they tend to make more).

But I lived with a guy working at Carrabas and it was... bad. He was a waiter there and I'm seriously wondering how he was able to get orders right half the time. He was that stupid and disorganized. He would complain about having bad nights all the time and I didn't wonder why. And he was the type of guy who would stop at Ale House on the way home for a drink or two after work. Then about 2-3 times a week he'd get so blitzed he wouldn't even make it home, or if he did he'd be puking half the night. When rent was coming due he'd say he needed a couple days to earn the money. I would just look at him funny since I know he had just spend about $100 in the last week on liquor alone.

Then there is my youngest brother. He dropped out of college because he was a lazy irresponsible idiot and has been working at a local steak house ever since. Half the time he shows up to work hung over or even still drunk.

I have another friend who works as a waitress (for the past 5 years at least). Out of 20 or 30 servers that work there, she can only stand a couple of them. She says well over half the waitstaff are drunks and the management tends to be drugees. She has told me my roommate and my brother are not exceptionally bad in anyway for the industry.

I mean, this is the type of person who you find working at most restaurants. Ellie, do you disagree? When you were working at Applebees, what kind of person was there? It sounds like the place you are now is respectable and I wouldn't expect to find the same type of person there, but at the more "mainstream" restaurants like Applebees and other lower priced place, that is who is there.

The only problem I have with tips is that you do not know if things are the waitstaff's fault. If the restaurant is short people, you are bound to get poor service. I mean usually there are about 4-5 tables per waiter, and if people are missing what happens? A waiter running 6-8 tables is of course going to offer poorer service, and so they'll get lower tips and make less for working harder. How is that fair?

[Neon Pink Shoehorn]

haven't we discussed tips to death on another thread?

[Roxie]

http://www.expatica.com/actual/article.asp?subchannel_id=81&story_id=42159
Judge orders lesbian mother to give up daughters or find a male partner
23 July 2007

MADRID – A judge has ordered a lesbian mother to hand over her two daughters to their father because, he said, her homosexuality would harm them and “raised the risk” that the girls would also become lesbians, press reports said on Monday.

Judge Fernando Ferrin Calamita, who heard the case at a court in the eastern region of Murcia, also said the woman could keep custody of the children if she found another male partner.

According to Ferrin, being raised by homosexual would not allow the children the right to the proper environment to which they were entitled.

“It is understood that (a parent’s) drug addiction, child abuse, prostitution, belonging to a satanic sect or heterosexual affair would negatively affect the children and serve as a reason for a change of custody,” he said. “Well, it’s the same with homosexuality.”

In his ruling, Ferrin criticized recent national laws against domestic violence and in favour of gay marriage, as well as legislation liberalising child custody. He claimed that the laws were “a mistake by the parliament controlled by the ruling party” in reference to the governing Socialists.

Women’s associations and gay rights groups protested the judge’s ruling and sent petitions to the Spanish judicial authorities claiming Ferrin had overstepped his authority.

(Copyright EFE with Expatica)

Subject: Spanish news

[Roxie]

http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/07/26/ap3957567.html
By CURT WOODWARD 07.26.07, 3:56 PM ET

SEATTLE - Pharmacists have sued Washington state over a new regulation that requires the sale of emergency contraception, also known as the "morning-after pill."

In a lawsuit filed in federal court here, a pharmacy owner and two pharmacists say the rule that took effect Thursday coerces them into "choosing between their livelihoods and their deeply held religious and moral beliefs."

The state ruled earlier this year that druggists who believe emergency contraceptives are tantamount to abortion can't stand in the way of a patient's right to the drugs.

The state's Roman Catholic bishops and other opponents predicted a court challenge after the rule was adopted, saying the state was wrongly forcing pharmacists to administer medical treatments they consider immoral.

The plaintiffs in the lawsuit filed Wednesday are pharmacists Rhonda Mesler and Margo Thelen, and Stormans Inc., the owners of Ralph's Thriftway in Olympia, a grocery store that includes a pharmacy.

Gov. Chris Gregoire did not immediately respond to requests for comment from The Associated Press.

Sold as Plan B, emergency contraception is a high dose of the drug {already} found in many regular birth-control pills {which means, it ain't new!}. It can lower the risk of pregnancy by as much as 89 percent if taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex.

Some critics consider the pill related to abortion, although it is different from the abortion pill RU-486 and has no effect on women who already are pregnant.

The federal Food and Drug Administration made the morning-after pill available over the counter to adults in August.

Under the new state rule, pharmacists with personal objections to a drug can opt out by getting a co-worker to fill an order. But that applies only if the patient is able to get the prescription in the same pharmacy visit.

Pharmacies also are required to order new supplies of a drug if a patient asks for something that is not in stock.

Pharmacists are also forbidden to destroy prescriptions or harass patients, rules that were prompted by complaints from Washingtonians, chairwoman Rebecca Hille said {kinda sad that it has to be a law to say that "destroy prescriptions or harass patients" is forbidden}.


Copyright 2007 Associated Press

[Hatsumomo]

The Madrid story: Beyond fucked up. Homosexuality being "damaging" to the children? What, so ripping children away from their mother isn't? Three words: Reactive Attachment Disorder. And I'm not even going to touch the comparisons of homosexuality to child abuse, drug addiction, or satanic sects.

The pharmacist story: These dumbasses are so quick to screech about their "moral beliefs" that they can't even take the time to research what they're protesting. Birth control helps to PREVENT abortions, jackasses. There's no reason for this level of stupidity. I have a friend from Greece who was studying to be a pharmacist and it's a lot of studying because you really have to know medications through and through. Either find a new goddamn job or go work at a fucking Catholic hospital that way, I have no chance of running into you.

[manrush]

Guess what I just found. There are people out there who are actually defending this judge's decision. (http://opine-editorials.blogspot.com/2007/07/non-biological-same-sex-parents-no.html) And anyways, since when is it the State's business to decide what is "best" for the child. It's not like children are wards of the government until they turn 18.

[phenyl]

Roxie,

could you please start posting links to your news-articles? Sometimes you contribute an article that I think would be very interesting for some colleague and I'd like to send it to them. But i prefer sending a link to the original source rather than a link to the forum or a copy-paste of your post to the e-mail (especially if it's a post from a blog with lots of comments).

Thank you very much for your consideration

P.S. This applies also to other people here, that's why I am writing a post to the board and not a pm.

[manrush]

I've always posted links to the news articles that I cite.

[Roxie]

Roxie,

could you please start posting links to your news-articles?
Sure, Phenyl. No problem. I'll edit my previous two posts with the links.

FYI, I get most of the stuff from feministing.com and http://feministe.powweb.com/blog/

[phenyl]

Thank you very much, I appreciate it.

Sure, Phenyl. No problem. I'll edit my previous two posts with the links.

[Roxie]

http://feministing.com/archives/007489.html#trackback

It's not news that child beauty pageant culture is more than a little screwed up. And that photoshop "enhancing" is all over the place. So I know I shouldn't be shocked by this site (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch.html)(via Broadsheet) where parents can send photos of their infants (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch1aaaa2.html)and young daughters (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch4a.html)to be cosmetically retouched. Apparently some parents are not content to let their daughters wait until puberty to start hating their bodies. A sample:
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/pageantphotoshop.jpg

These photos are incredibly creepy (http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch5.html) -- not only photoshopping out stray hairs and shadows, but "correcting" facial features, adding makeup, and "removing drool." One of their "enhancements" is actually called "doll eyes."

Somehow more than the Katie Couric visual slimfast incident (http://feministing.com/archives/005629.html), the assorted before-and-after photos from magazine covers (http://feministing.com/archives/007389.html), and other digitally perfect images of women's bodies we're assaulted with every day, these pictures are notably more disturbing. Part of me wants to say, fine, "fix" Faith Hill's wrinkles, but leave the poor kids alone!

[Trump]

Soon they will be able to ship off their kids and get them back as dolls!

sigh...

[Lea]

Those kids don't even look real anymore with all that editing... umm.. What is the appeal in that?

[Roxie]

Soon they will be able to ship off their kids and get them back as dolls!

sigh...
When I saw the first picture (in the post) I thought "Oh, some company is making doll look-a-likes of the girls".....yeah.

[Hatsumomo]

"Doll eyes?" Meaning making the kids look dead inside?

[erbiumfiber]

When my daughter was 6 or 7 or so, I took her to Glamor Shots- a place where you dress up, they put on make-up and do your hair, etc. I thought it would be fun for her- she was at the age when "dress-up" and shiny, glittery things were still cool. The photos were actual photos, no photoshopping, etc. back then.

I was totally creeped out when my daughter's photos came back. It was right around Jon-Benet Ramsey's death and I thought, "My God, she looks just like those pageant kids!"

I still have the pictures somewhere or my mother has them. I saw one the last time I was back in America and looking for something and it still sent shivers down my spine. I suppose I ought to destroy them but I'll leave that choice up to my daughter. I don't have all that many pictures of her (yeah, there were no digital cameras and I couldn't afford a video cam back then- film and developing were expensive and I was on a tight budget when she was a baby).

[Decade]

I went to ebaumsworld and saw this video about a prank they pulled on a woman. I got a link to a youtube vid of it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJhgHGJ9nSI


Honestly, I dont see the comedy in this prank. Yea, I know they didnt mean anything wrong and that it was only meant to be a joke, but this is just sick. They made this girl believe she had a stalker for a week, then trapped her in a garage with a guy totally naked trying to get her (shes CLEARLY terrified at this point), and then to get her even MORE freaked out, the naked guy opened up a box in the garage to show he tied up her neighbor.


Although this was only a prank, you gotta wonder what the fuck kinda tv is this? Who Ok'd this idea, and how is he/she still employed? There's pranks that are funny, but this is just sick and disturbing to watch.

[Kaji]

And here I always considered the Japanese the masters of schadenfreude...hehehe...

[h2orowe]

Wow. O_O

[Roxie]

And here I always considered the Japanese the masters of schadenfreude...hehehe...
So, you think it's funny?
Asking, seriously. I can't watch it at work.

[Chris]

I went to ebaumsworld and saw this video about a prank they pulled on a woman. I got a link to a youtube vid of it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJhgHGJ9nSI


Honestly, I dont see the comedy in this prank. Yea, I know they didnt mean anything wrong and that it was only meant to be a joke, but this is just sick. They made this girl believe she had a stalker for a week, then trapped her in a garage with a guy totally naked trying to get her (shes CLEARLY terrified at this point), and then to get her even MORE freaked out, the naked guy opened up a box in the garage to show he tied up her neighbor.


Although this was only a prank, you gotta wonder what the fuck kinda tv is this? Who Ok'd this idea, and how is he/she still employed? There's pranks that are funny, but this is just sick and disturbing to watch.

I can understand her being scared, but damn, self control and staying somewhat calm can do wonders in a situation like that.

[Kaji]

So, you think it's funny?
Asking, seriously. I can't watch it at work.

It is and it isn't. It's a cruel joke, to be sure. At least she's laughing at the end of it though, as opposed to a number of possible alternative outcomes.

As they put it when they unmasked the whole scenario: "She's scarred, but only mentally."

[Decade]

I can understand her being scared, but damn, self control and staying somewhat calm can do wonders in a situation like that.
She saw her neighbor tied up and being held captive in a box.

Try staying calm seeing THAT shit.

[Pierrot le Fou]

It was actually on Japanese TV, but apparently it was from an Italian(?) program in which they surprise the shit out of celebrities.

On one hand I think it's a nasty thing to do to someone.

On the other hand I think that celebrities deserve what's coming to them to an extent, because they VOLUNTEER to put themselves in the public eye most of the time.

[Radiance]

I didn't really find that kind of prank funny at all. Now if she had just happened to see some guy out in the middle of the city shoving the fat guy back in the freezer and seeing her reation that would have been funny.

Then again, I also enjoy this sort of prank a lot more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BtNN6M97q8

[Roxie]

Just watched it.

That shit isn't even remotely funny, including the commentary. Jesus Christ, I wouldn't even wish that on Paris Hilton. He's lucky she who she is, cause I would have continued to beat him with that pole till I saw blood.

[ellie]

I didn't watch the youtube video (computer is on crack and feel that it would just be too much strain on my poor old laptop at the moment), but I've gathered the gist from what y'all are saying. I saw something on TV that sounds similar, about some girl being kidnapped by some friends, but the friends were only aquaintances and they had on masks the whole time and had her blindfolded and stuff so she didn't recognize them, and they did all this mean stuff like telling her they were going to kill her, etc. They filmed the whole thing, and then after like 2 days they took off their masks and let her go, and they were apparently trying to make a scary movie and wanted a "real reaction", but she ended up suing them for emotional damages.

And in a completely unrelated and materialistic vein, but justifiable because this IS the ladies thread:

Today I went back-to-school shopping with my cousin, and I got much and many excellent items. A bunch of Polo stuff, 5 shirts, a skirt, some pants, new Puma sneakers, 2 dresses, and 2 Coach bags (oops! Jillian bought 3 though.) We were really quite pleased with our shopping time. Of course, I now cannot purchase ANYTHING for a very long time.

[Hatsumomo]

I didn't watch the youtube video (computer is on crack and feel that it would just be too much strain on my poor old laptop at the moment), but I've gathered the gist from what y'all are saying. I saw something on TV that sounds similar, about some girl being kidnapped by some friends, but the friends were only aquaintances and they had on masks the whole time and had her blindfolded and stuff so she didn't recognize them, and they did all this mean stuff like telling her they were going to kill her, etc. They filmed the whole thing, and then after like 2 days they took off their masks and let her go, and they were apparently trying to make a scary movie and wanted a "real reaction", but she ended up suing them for emotional damages.


I think I saw something about that too back when I watched talk shows. I think it was Montel. I can't even begin to understand how one can think that's a good idea.

[Trump]

It is ebaumsworld. That tells me the video is likely not worth watching nor is it probably funny. That website pretty much throws whatever they can up there for shock value.

[4letterwords]

My friends and I kidnapped our friend on Halloween and took her to a graveyard in the middle of the night... that was funny.

Anyway, going back to the video... I didn't find it 'funny' but it wasn't that bad. I've seen worse.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Now this (http://sean.chittenden.org/humor/www.sparklet.com/~royce/trams/hair/index.html) on the other hand is hilarious.

[Chris]

She saw her neighbor tied up and being held captive in a box.

Try staying calm seeing THAT shit.


Naked guy is around car. Lock doors. Use decently powered SUV to, if necessary, reverse through garage door.


ps: Instead of screaming and then opening door thus inviting a possible attack

[manrush]

A little off topic (what are we talking about, anyways?); You have a lovely avatar, Ellie.

[Roxie]

check this out.
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/08/06/mystery_qa/

I love how there are all of these things that “aren’t in [his] reality.” By which I can only assume he means “I’m just going to ignore everything that doesn’t function exactly the way I want it to.”

Once you’ve done that, she’ll start throwing subtle indicators of interest. Subtle cues like scratching the back of her hand. That area of the hand gets itchy when a girl is attracted to a man from ape days, you know — it means, “Groom me.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. :rofl: Wow. Just wow.

[Kaji]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BtNN6M97q8

Don't worry, any bits you wouldn't want to see are censored. hehehe...

[ellie]

A little off topic (what are we talking about, anyways?); You have a lovely avatar, Ellie.

Why thank you! Nice and summery...and of course, I secretly yearn to become a Playboy Bunny.

[manrush]

It's just done in a way reminiscent of photography by Jacques Bourboulon.

[Roxie]

Air Force Charges Victim (http://www.kvue.com/news/state/stories/080107kvueairforce-eh.d0a50cd9.html) in Her Own Rape (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/tx/5034202.html)
If she loses her case, she could be publicly registered as a sex offender.
The three alleged attackers were offered sexual assault immunity to testify against Hernandez on the indecent acts charge which they accepted.

Read and make up your own mind.

[erbiumfiber]

Based on my experiences in Air Force ROTC in college, sounds about par for the course for the Air Force. I met a lot of misogynistic nut-jobs in my time...

Might explain why I dropped out my last year of college (long, long, long story but involved plenty of being lied to by the Air Force).

[Roxie]

If anyone wishes to write their Congress rep (http://www.house.gov/writerep/)or senators (http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm), here's a letter one of the commentors offered up.

Dear Senator,

I'm urging you to do anything you can to prevent the case against Ms. Cassandra Hernandez for "indecent acts" and underage drinking from going forward. If convicted on both counts, the she could face up to a year in jail, reduction in rank, a cut in pay in allowances, a possible bad conduct discharge and be required to register as a sex offender, her defense lawyers said.

Please read these 2 links:
http://www.kvue.com/news/state/stories/080107kvueairforce-eh.d0a50cd9.html

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/tx/5034202.html

I believe that she has been harassed and on the receiving end of undue stress from the Air Force, if not rape from 3 of its airmen. I would like to see my representatives help create an environment in which women in the armed forces feel comfortable reporting - and testifying about - rape allegations.

I urge you to send a representative to her case at Fort Bragg on September 24th if you cannot attend yourself. I urge you to pressure the Air Force and military to reform their ways and to protect our young women that serve from mental, physical, and sexual harassment and violence.

Thanks,
signed

[Trump]

I can't help but hate that letter. So military judicial policies were violated and yet it comes down to a feminist rant? I would be upset that the policies were violated. This letter just makes me think people are more concerned about a feminist agenda than this actual case.

[Roxie]

I disagree. I think it address both. But hey, you can always write you own letter.

[Stephy]

I will use this and probably add to it. Thank ya.

[Candyvan Stan]

I urge you to send a representative to her case at Fort Bragg on September 24th if you cannot attend yourself. I urge you to pressure the Air Force and military to reform their ways and to protect our young women that serve from mental, physical, and sexual harassment and violence.

Note how everybody receives their fair share of mental and physical abuse in the military, the men probably more so than the women in a lot of cases. Sexual... probably not as many men on the receiving end, which is of course a problem. I guess if it limited itself to nothing but verbal harassment as in a lot of cases, I feel said people (both male and female) have no business in the military if they can't properly deal with it. That said, the military is THE place where respect, equality (everybody being equally worthless in the eyes of their superiors and all) and integrity should actually be nurtured, therefore I feel that that those offending should be properly dealt with.

I feel feminism shouldn't focus on females so much, it has lost its original philosophy so much that I now have to be careful when and where I call myself a feminist.

[Roxie]

Well Stan, one has to understand, that with feminism, it's going to talk A LOT about females, b/c we are minority in within the power structure. I don't know what you think the "original philosophy" is/was, but I highly suggest you read Full Frontal Feminism.

Again, that letter is far from the end all, be all, but I know some ppl find it alot eaiser if they can just send in a script like that, which is why I provided it (I didn't write it).

[Candyvan Stan]

Well Stan, one has to understand, that with feminism, it's going to talk A LOT about females, b/c we are minority in within the power structure. I don't know what you think the "original philosophy" is/was, but I highly suggest you read Full Frontal Feminism.

Again, that letter is far from the end all, be all, but I know some ppl find it alot eaiser if they can just send in a script like that, which is why I provided it (I didn't write it).

It's me, Michael.

I'm very well versed in the basics of sociology and the power structure that comes with it, and I also dabble in history (although the 19th century and early 20th century don't interest me as much, which coincidentally happen to be the heydays of the first-wave of feminism).

I believe that the original philosophy of feminism was more like todays' 'equalism'. It was objective, whereas I believe modern feminism in many ways is not. While I agree that sexual harassment is indeed a large problem, I also believe that many modern feminists downplay sexual harassment and even sexual discrimination where men are victims to the point where they want it to appear as if it is none-existent, whereas (as a crude example) domestic abuse where men are victims (or women in a lesbian relationship) is nearly as high.

I also believe that feminism originally supported the idea that women are strong, as they rightfully are - whereas many women today (both 'feminists' and non-feminists) abuse their (in many cases) 'lower' position of power for their own personal gains, which is not helping reinforce a positive image for many, many fair and somewhat objective (still mainly supporting women, but also understanding and wanting to eradicate the negative stereotypes that surround men) feminists such as yourself, Roxie. Many seem to want to blame testosterone, rather than try to eradicate the problem at its very roots.

I'll leave it at this, since this is after all the ladies' thread, but I hope you do understand my frustration.

Signed,

A feminist in the true sense of the word.

[Roxie]

I understand and even more strongly suggest the book Full Frontal Feminism to you. And to remember that opportunists are opportunists no matter what they call themselves.

[Decade]

Didnt we have a massive thread about Sexual equality and such a year back or something? I'll try to redig it up for the sake of further discussion on the subject.

[Roxie]

I got a FANTASTICALLY AWESOME new bag!!
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/10908393/c/2190.html

It's SO big though, I know a few full grow women (and a couple of guys) I could fit into it. It might be TOO big for me to take to school. I'm thinking of sending it back and getting one of these

http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/20595133/c/574.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/11957451/c/3.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/27311725/c/110632.html

I"m really leaning towards
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/16917455/c/112536.html

[ellie]

Ooh that is really cute, Roxie!! Me likes. I love brightly colored things.

Speaking of bags, these are the two new wristlets I bought last weekend:
http://www.coach.com/assets/product_images/complementary/40614_B4TF_c.jpg

http://www.coach.com/assets/product_images/thumbnail/40797_B4BK_t.jpg
Perhaps that is part of the reason I am so BROKE!

[Stephy]

Snip!
Good post Michael! I think I understand what you mean too. Here, I found this today. Think it greatly relates to what you mean. :)

Source (http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2007/08/who-is-real-feminist.html)

"Equality between men and women is no longer the real issue with many "feminists"--it is more about special rights for women without responsibilities (like trying to get rid of the word bitch but not prick etc.), "empowerment" without the work that comes with actually doing anything, and allowing women to do things to men that if men did to women, would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, you know, like shoot them in the back while they sleep. If that is the definition, count me out--that type of feminism sounds more like a Democratic political action committee than a real sense of justice between men and women. The idea of equality is not as simple as this quiz would have us believe, for in order to be truly equal, women must understand that they too, have the responsibility to see that equality extends both ways"

[Candyvan Stan]

Thank you, Stephanie! I think this will be one of my last posts on this forum regarding gender equality and feminism. I'm glad many people seemed to understand and even agree with my former post. Further elaboration, I feel, won't be necessary as my stance is pretty clear as it is and I'll leave it at that.

And yes, that's how I feel too. I'm glad you made that post! Note, what I said can be said for pretty much any group of persons abusing their position in society and spoiling it for those with good intentions. I truly believe and hope that one day, people take heed to Martin Luther King's words, of who I am a great fan.

[l337moomoo]

HI LADIES I LOVE YOU ALL A LOT.

Does 100% cotton shrink well?

KBYE<3333

[Ivor's Tinfoil Bandana]

HI LADIES I LOVE YOU ALL A LOT.

Does 100% cotton shrink well?

KBYE<3333

Actually, I'm amazed the last poster's account was not created yesterday :D He waited for 4 months before posting random shit !

[Decade]

Patient fucker, isnt he?

[l337moomoo]

I'm just curious, I have no idea who else to ask :(.

[Trump]

To answer the question, I believe that depends on whether or not it was 'preshrunk' or not.

[Campion]

Source (http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2007/08/who-is-real-feminist.html)

"Equality between men and women is no longer the real issue with many "feminists"--it is more about special rights for women without responsibilities (like trying to get rid of the word bitch but not prick etc.), "empowerment" without the work that comes with actually doing anything, and allowing women to do things to men that if men did to women, would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, you know, like shoot them in the back while they sleep. If that is the definition, count me out--that type of feminism sounds more like a Democratic political action committee than a real sense of justice between men and women. The idea of equality is not as simple as this quiz would have us believe, for in order to be truly equal, women must understand that they too, have the responsibility to see that equality extends both ways"

Sorry Stephy but I have real problems with the objectivity of this article.

A: Dr Helen completely ignores the fact that the defence of the woman who shot her husband in the back is based on spousal abuse (mental and physical) and that shows a callous disregard for the facts of the story, and in my opinion a distinct lack of professionalism. She doesn't attack the defence, or misinterpret it, she appears to me to be trying to paint out any oppositional perspective entirely. These are not the actions of an objective psychiatrist. Sure the readers comments mention the spousal abuse factor, but from what I can see she doesn't and I think you have to ask yourself why.

B: If women are lobbying to get rid of the word 'bitch' it isn't necessary for them also to lobby to get rid of the word 'prick', all things being actually equal that's up to men to lobby for I'm afraid.


Campion.

[Roxie]

People who are trying to get rid of words are attacking a symptom, not the problem, and I think that's serious waste of time.

Now, I just *HAD* to post this!!

Thinking outside the bra (http://feministe.powweb.com/blog/archives/2007/08/13/thinking-outside-the-bra/)

…but underneath the skin. Via (http://womenshealthnews.wordpress.com/2007/08/13/wearing-your-bra-on-the-inside/#comments)Women’s Health News, it has come to my attention that Israeli scientists have devised a technology now in testing that is, in essence, an internal bra (http://israel21c.org/bin/en.jsp?enDispWho=Articles%5El1738&enPage=BlankPage&enDisplay=view&enDispWhat=object&enVersion=0&enZone=Health&). Internal as in underneath the skin.

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/cupup.jpg

Rachel was a little disturbed by the prospect (and amused by the image of the augmented pigs on which this technology is being tested), but I think it looks pretty cool. The article touts the “CupUp” as a less-invasive alternative to breast augmentation or lifts. I’ve never been interested in cosmetic surgery before, but I find the idea of not having to wear (or buy or shop for or mourn when the underwire pops out) a bra pretty intriguing. I know that I don’t have to wear a bra, but I feel a lot more comfortable with one than without. I’m going to wear a bra. Especially while in motion. For that matter, as my bust size has increased, so has my discomfort at not wearing a bra. This may even have the potential to be a much less invasive alternative to breast reduction surgery.

There are also lots of reasons it might not work. There might well be a good reason not to have our breasts cemented to our rib cages. The article suggests adding padding to the cup, to mimic the action of a push-up bra, and all my experiences with push-up bras (mercifully they have been few) have left me in pain and glad to be able to get rid of the darn thing at the end of the day. I’ve also always appreciated the nipple-hiding that a bra can do - this wouldn’t be able to manage that.

Plus, it brings up all the normal issues that go along with surgically altering women’s bodies so that they’ll conform to popular beauty norms.

Horrifying? Awesome? Horrifyingly awesome? What do you think?

[Jetsetlemming]

Bras are more than just "conforming to popular beauty norms". Silly article. From all available sources (ie girls I know with sizable cup sizes. My girlfriend in particular likes to complain to me about this topic), uncontrolled big boobs hurt like hell when they bounce around. But jesus, getting a surgery, and something hard implanted into the underside just so you don't have to wear one? :knockout: I also can't help but imagine how that would feel to the touch. >.>;

[Soli]

Eww, eww! I'd never do that. And interesting idea, but not very good for reality.

[volomavi]

I think the support of the under the skin bra will not be noticed as much because you don't feel it holding you, so some women if they chose to get the surgery done, will still wear the bra due to old habits or feeling secure. In which defeating the whole purpose of invasive booby surgery.

[Sohym]

Let's say you would need to get it done really early to get used to it... And, what could happen if your boobies' size change when you have this thing? I mean, if you get pregnant, your boobies get bigger, so it might.. I don't know, move around? o_O

[Roxie]

Also, what happens when you decide to work out your pecks?!

[Roxie]

Ok, so I sent that bag back. I've decided to get this one instead
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000OYHTZQ/ref=ord_cart_shr/103-8139476-5703835?%5Fencoding=UTF8&m=A1VAQ9LOJQUHYR&v=glance

and this umbrella. (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00024REYY/ref=ord_cart_shr/103-8139476-5703835?%5Fencoding=UTF8&m=A2JEK7QR95ZKPI&v=glance)

[volomavi]

I don't see the point of bubble umbrellas, you can't even attempt to poke people in the eye. I also love huge umbrellas, like ones that have a diameter of 1.5 meters. Sure its almost useless when it is windy, but when its only raining, you are completely dry.

[Trump]

Think about what is in a bra, and then think about that under your skin. Ugh, no no no

[4letterwords]

I'm all for that for women who need it.

As soon as I get the money, I'm getting rhinoplasty (sp?) to remove a bump in my nose and a small breast reduction. If you need it (in your opinion) then do it...

[Hatsumomo]

I have cramps. Make them go away.

[Roxie]

midol.

[Hatsumomo]

Don't have any. I'm thinking warm bath. Or unscheduled hysterectomy.

[Roxie]

impromptu hysterectomy?

try heat on you stomach.

[4letterwords]

impromptu hysterectomy?

try heat on you stomach.

I dunno why, but I lol'd.

[Roxie]

My new bag
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/th_bg8.jpg (http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/bg8.jpg)
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/th_bg7.jpg (http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/bg7.jpg)
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/th_bg6.jpg (http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/bg6.jpg)
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/th_bg5.jpg (http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/bg5.jpg)
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/th_bg4.jpg (http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/bg4.jpg)
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/th_bg3.jpg (http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/bg3.jpg)
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/th_bg1.jpg (http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/Roxie21/bg1.jpg)

[ellie]

Looks like no one has posted in the Ladies Thread for a few days, so I will help to revive it.

I have this problem...and the problem is that I spend waaayyy too much money. I like finding sales and stuff, but I often just buy expensive things. Today I was at Sephora, and I realized that I spend -literally- over $1000 at Sephora every year. A THOUSAND DOLLARS. On Sephora stuff. That is a lot of money. Almost all of my cosmetics, face wash, nail stuff, and hair stuff is from Sephora. I could probably save money if I switched to a cheaper brand, does anyone have any good suggestions? I only would switch if it was equal in quality, however.

(PS I used to get all my face wash and lotions from Origins, which was about twice as expensive as Sephora. So I thought I was saving money by shopping at Sephora, but apparently not.)

[h2orowe]

I saw that this wasn't active, and I was reminded of it while listening to John Lennon =o iirc, Yoko actually wrote this song, but if you go on songmeanings.net and see stuff it's all like "YEAH JOHN WAS A LYRICAL GENIUS" because most people don't like Yoko (although I do, a lot.) for "breaking up the Beatles".

Woman is the nigger of the world
Yes she is...think about it
Woman is the nigger of the world
Think about it...do something about it


We make her paint her face and dance
If she won't be a slave, we say that she don't love us
If she's real, we say she's trying to be a man
While putting her down, we pretend that she's above us


Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don't believe me, take a look at the one you're with
Woman is the slave of the slaves
Ah, yeah...better scream about it


We make her bear and raise our children
And then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother hen
We tell her home is the only place she should be
Then we complain that she's too unworldly to be our friend


Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don't believe me, take a look at the one you're with
Woman is the slave to the slaves
Yeah...alright...hit it!


We insult her every day on TV
And wonder why she has no guts or confidence
When she's young we kill her will to be free
While telling her not to be so smart we put her down for being so dumb


Woman is the nigger of the world
Yes she is...if you don't believe me, take a look at the one you're with
Woman is the slave to the slaves
Yes she is...if you believe me, you better scream about it


We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance


It's crazy to think that Lennon went from saying "Woman is best obscene, not heard." to singing this. :P

[Jetsetlemming]

I hate John Lennon. >:\ His solo shit after the Beatles is just horrible compared to the band's. I give him respect for getting Nixon to deport him, but goddamn he just turned into a whiny bitch who made his music about politics and crap rather than try to make any actually good music. He wasn't even the good singer from the Beatles, McCartney was. Lennon's singing voice on his solo stuff is just painful to hear. D:

[h2orowe]

How the hell is it painful to hear? I really dig his solo stuff. People change with time, man. You can tell that he wanted to write about political stuff, or at least something different than the poppy stuff he was turning up from before. Hell, even the Beatles did so of their own free will. Listen to Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart Clubs Band if you want to hear their most LSD-influenced album =o and some of those songs on there are pretty God damned famous. (Strawberry Fields Forever, anyone?) They did more than just the poppy stuff themselves.

Also, Lennon didn't ONLY do political stuff. Hell, check out the Double Fantasy album. It's just him and Yoko singing about love the whole album.

Alsoalso, Lennon didn't whine. Whining is where you state the problem and don't do shit to help it.

ALSOALSOALSO, listen to the song Mother by Lennon. Such a good song. It's about how his mom/dad weren't there for his life, then at the end he starts shouting "Momma don't go, daddy come home". The cool part, though, is during this time, him and Yoko were taking this thing called Primal Therapy which is basically getting over traumatic things by trying to relive it kind of, or at least the emotions. One of the techniques is to yell something as loud as you can to help you kind.. relieve stress or help you with the problem, so that's what Lennon was doing at the end of the song.

[Jetsetlemming]

I've heard a bunch of his songs, I just don't find them anywhere near as enjoyable as the Beatles. :\

[Jetsetlemming]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL8n9pz8eq4
This song is better than anything John Lennon ever did, ever.
(video sucks, though. Don'tcha hate it when people make a fan music video just by throwing up random unrelated images to match lines of the lyrics?)

[h2orowe]

You may enjoy it on a personal level more than a Lennon song, but calling it better is a bit harsh. The Strokes may be enjoyable to some (although, they're not my cup of tea), John Lennon helped inspire A LOT of people to speak out against the war and other things during the time. He, even as a solo artist, is more influential than the Strokes could ever hope to be.

[Roxie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL8n9pz8eq4
This song is better than anything John Lennon ever did, ever.

wwwwwoooooooowwwwww

[Roxie]

Btw, The Strokes count Lennon (http://www.mmguide.musicmatch.com/artist/artist.cgi?ARTISTID=1052472#influences)as one of (http://www.jimdero.com/OtherWritings/OtherStrokes.htm)their influences (http://www.mtv.com/music/artist/strokes/artist.jhtml#bio).

[Jetsetlemming]

That doesn't make the Strokes any worse or Lennon any better. :P

[Roxie]

No. But if you say that Lennon was no good, that means the Strokes' taste in music is no good...And if their taste in music is no good, as Lennon is a major influence on them, then they can't be any good.

[Jetsetlemming]

You just contradicted yourself. :O
Also note my main problems with Lennon were his song subjects and singing voice, and acting more like an activist than a musician. :P Note The Strokes' singer doesn't sound like Lennon, and that song doesn't sound like anything Lennon sang.

[Roxie]

You just contradicted yourself. :O
how? where?

[Trump]

But if you say that Lennon was no good, that means the Strokes' taste in music is no good...And if their taste in music is no good, as Lennon is a major influence on them, then they can't be any good.

Using someone as an influence does not mean your music is going to sound the same, it just means that pieces of it are going to be similar. It may just be the drum beat, the type of lyrical rhythms, or countermelodies so your statement is just ridiculous.

[Roxie]

trump, chill. I don't think either of us are being serious.

[Lea]

Looks like no one has posted in the Ladies Thread for a few days, so I will help to revive it.

I have this problem...and the problem is that I spend waaayyy too much money. I like finding sales and stuff, but I often just buy expensive things. Today I was at Sephora, and I realized that I spend -literally- over $1000 at Sephora every year. A THOUSAND DOLLARS. On Sephora stuff. That is a lot of money. Almost all of my cosmetics, face wash, nail stuff, and hair stuff is from Sephora. I could probably save money if I switched to a cheaper brand, does anyone have any good suggestions? I only would switch if it was equal in quality, however.

(PS I used to get all my face wash and lotions from Origins, which was about twice as expensive as Sephora. So I thought I was saving money by shopping at Sephora, but apparently not.)

I have some suggestions!!

So some cosmetics are worth the extra price to different people. Foundation, bronzer, and mascara are the important things that I don't mind dropping a few extra bucks on because I enjoy using them the most.

However, I buy cheaper cosmetics for less "important" things. I found that Covergirl at Target is good for things such as blush and even under eye concealment sticks (whatever you call those things). Target is also great for eyelash curlers, eyebrow pencils, and etc.

I also find that those brushes at Sephora are the biggest rip off. I’ve been so tempted to buy them, but are they really worth it? I have cheap brushes that work just fine and sometimes your hand is perfect for blending. (Haha)

But what I’m trying to say is you could try supplementing some of the stuff you buy at Sephora for cheaper things. If you adore eye shadow and love making if perfect, buy that at Sephora. If you use blush daily but aren’t necessarily too picky about it, stop by Target and check out the Covergirl section. It’s a pretty good brand for being very cheap.

Only buy the things you really need too. I can understand how you could be spending that much at Sephora. There are so many cool things there! But some of that stuff is just… well… unnecessary. Foundation primer? Meh. Anti-shine undercoat? Doesn’t really work.

I’m not saying that stuff isn’t good, it just didn’t work well enough for the price I was paying for it. Cut back on some of that stuff if you want to save money. I doubt anyone will notice a difference if you stop using some of it. Like me and my foundation primer. No one noticed a difference when I stopped using. I barely did too. That’s just my personal story, but I hope you know what I’m getting at. ^.^

One last tip, check when the department stores like Macys are having sales/specials. You can get great make-up and often as a bonus, a carrying case of sample high-end make-up for free with your purchase! I’ve gotten fancy brushes and etc for free through those sales. Nice!

And this has gotten long... Hope a few of these suggestions help or even make sense.

P.S. Love your new bag Roxie! <33

[Soli]

I have a question!

When you shave your legs... how do you get around your knees? =/ I've just started shaving this summer and sort of avoided that spot. Is there any trick to it?

[h2orowe]

Knee caps are ugly. Do what all the models are doing, and have them surgically removed. If you don't, you're ugly. looooooool D; sadbuttrueifthatactuallyhappened.

[ellie]

Excellent advice, Lea! I often just buy stuff from Sephora because it looks so cool, and I guess maybe I am hoping it will be miraculous (because, for the price on some of that stuff, it sure better create a miracle.) The things from Sephora that I absolutely love:

* peel-off face mask. I have bought cheap peel-off face mask (I think like Freeman's brand or something) and hated it. But the Sephora kind is awesome, because the whole thing peels off in one peice!! And I feel like my skin really glows after using it.
* black mascara. It actually makes my eyelashes look long and thick without looking fake.
* lip plumper. This was kind of a splurge, because $18 for lip venom seems a bit steep. However, it really works! I naturally have fairly thin lips, and I can really tell the difference when I use the lip venom. It doesn't make them crazy huge, but there is a definite difference. And, it doesn't hurt (I tried some from Victoria's Secret, and it made my lips burn.)
*lip gloss crayon. Ooh it's great! It is a beautiful color, and just a teeny bit sparkly. This + lip venom is a fabulous look.

Sephora things that I feel are not worth the price:
* nail polish. The nail polish brushes are too thick so it's hard to paint your nails accurately.
* cuticle pen. I'm not sure how much I spent on this thing, but I'm sure it wasn't worth it. It makes my cuticles greasy, which is definitely different than moisturized.
* the foundation primer stuff you were talking about! i honestly could not tell a difference if i used it or not. so i gave it to my sister and she was delighted.

* * * * *
I bought some Covergirl Foundation, and tried it today, and it appears to work just as well as Sephora, except I think I got a slightly wrong color, so I'm going to try a slightly darker shade (imagine me, needing a darker shade! lol) and hopefully it should be fine. I also got Covergirl blush and love the color (pink without being overpowering.)

* * * * *
Yeah Soli, knees are a tricky spot. Just do your best, but don't worry if you miss some hairs...I basically always miss a tiny spot somewhere on my legs. What kind of razor do you use? I use a Venus, which I think works really, really well. I used to have the knee-problem that you have, as well as an ankle-problem. However, the Venus is small and fits your curves, so getting the tricky spots is usually not too much of a problem.

[Lea]

I also recommend the Venus razor! Good stuff!

And for the knees, relax your leg. If your knees are really sensitive, you could try having your leg rest straight out in front of you instead of sitting and having your legs bent. The skin is stretched too tightly when bent and more prone to cuts. And go very lightly on the sides of your knee caps. Weird area...

[seiji]

^I do the opposite, actually. Maybe my knees are especially flabby or something, but I find them easier to shave with my leg bent nearly double so it becomes a series of mostly convex surfaces. But Soli is like a thousand pounds thinner than I am, so her knees are probably different.

[Roxie]

Just don't shave....or you could use something like Nair.

Anyway, i HAD to post this (http://feministing.com/archives/007679.html#comments)!

Scented underwear? (http://jezebel.com/gossip/panty-raid/-296366.php) Huh?

Melon scented underwear utilizes a new technology that weaves the same material from a drier sheet into the underwear fabric, creating a powder fresh scent that lasts for up to fifteen washes. The underwear not only smells great but it's light seamless fabric feels like second skin. This is the most comfortable pair of underwear you will own! The underwear comes in 4 colors (thong and fullback) and has a variety of melon signature color bands on the top.

Melon, started by Brooke and Meredith Sloane two sisters from Los Angeles, has become the leading designer of sexy-funky lingerie. Through word of mouth and celebrity support, they have already built a name for themselves synonymous with quality and style.


Questions and terror are rolling through me. Why would I want my cooch to smell like a dryer sheet? My vagina and
I agree with Slut Machine (http://jezebel.com/gossip/panty-raid/-296366.php), "Three little letters come to mind: UTI."

Gross. And, they're temporarily sold out on Drugstore.com. (http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=148207&catid=115109) Call me crazy, but I don't really want a "powder fresh" crotch. And maybe my drier sheets are just cheap, but I don't think they're soft enough to hang out in that particular area.

[ellie]

Nair makes me itchy.

Hmm..melon scented panties.. interesting. Something weird about it. I think someone on op9 should buy a pair and try them out and let us know how they are. Maybe they actually are decent??

[Stephy]

Aeropostale is having a sale if anyone is interested. :x

Linky (http://www.aeropostale.com/home/index.jsp?clickid=topnav_logo_img)

[PopCulturePooka]

My goodness.

SPAM!

[Soli]

Thanks for the link, Steph! I've never shopped there, but that sale looks pretty good. I'm in need of some good jeans. Totally not spam. ;p

[Black fist]

Got a question about relationships. How do you ask someone out who is your friend but not to the point of the friend zone with fucking up anything you currently had.

[Jetsetlemming]

Ignore the possibility of "fucking up the current friend relationship". Minding that risk will only screw you over. Go for it, and fuck everything else. Show no fear.

[Black fist]

Jet actually being a kind or somewhat kind human being instead of an douche you just Chris Angel'd my mind jet thank you.

[Jetsetlemming]

:boggled:

[Trump]

If you can live with either answer without it changing how you feel, go for it. If she can't handle it are you sure this is the person you want to be with?

If it will change how you feel you better figure yourself out first.

[Roxie]

Got a question about relationships. How do you ask someone out who is your friend but not to the point of the friend zone with fucking up anything you currently had.
that's the risk you take.

[ZaichikArky]

This is the first time my period has ever skipped D:. So for weeks I've been on permanent PMS mode. Thankfully, my pms has never been bad in the least. I wonder why it skipped. Must have to do with me moving to Japan. I'm not stressed out, either.

[manrush]

By the way, that is a pretty avatar you have, Roxie.

[Roxie]

Thanks! It's the symbol of Libra

[ellie]

Zai: I occasionally skip periods too, and it is highly annoying to me. It usually only happens when I am stressed out about something, though. OR when I am travelling a lot. . .changing time zones repeatedly has been known to make me skip periods, so maybe your travel to Japan is what caused it for you!

[Roxie]

I wish I was skipping. I haven't had a period for months and now I have on that won't stop.

[ellie]

Oh dear, that sounds unpleasant. Maybe you should see your doc about that? Usually when I skip, my next one is just a normal one, not double-time or anything.

[xtine]

Even while I'm now single and probably won't have sex for a while, I still take the pill cause my period comes on the dot. I used to have death cramps from hell, and now I barely feel anything. I didn't have much acne at all before, but it even cleared up my skin more. :O

[Roxie]

i'm pretty sure it's the fibroids again. if i could find my b.c. i could make it stop, but i don't know where it is :(

[Neon Pink Shoehorn]

I feel like I won the period lottery when I hear other women talk about theirs...

[Radiance]

I feel like I won the period lottery when I hear other women talk about theirs...

Me too, that bleeding and cramps thing, being a guy has its upsides.... rarely but it does.

[Neon Pink Shoehorn]

?
oh, I'm female as well. I've just never had to deal with persistent cramps or missed periods or pms or heavy bleeding that goes on for days. Shit, I can accurately guess at about what time of day my periods start, give or take a couple hours. I don't know anyone else that can do that.

[Roxie]

speaking of which, there's a new birth control case with a built in alarm!
http://www.pillpaks.com/

[Neon Pink Shoehorn]

wow. one of those things that I wish I had thought of.

[ellie]

AGAIN. I wish I COULD take BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. IT WOULD MAKE MY WHOLE LIFE BETTER.

[Roxie]

have you tried nuvaring or an iud?

[ellie]

I've never been to an ob/gyn. I prolly should go & ask about those things. (my mom got pregnant TWICE while using an iud).

[Roxie]

you should definitely go!! if you're of age and/or sexually active, you should go.

[ellie]

Both.

sigh.

[Angelyne]

Can we talk about contraception for a bit? I need to find a new type, and I already know what's available, but I'm looking for opinions...

I can't take hormonal birth control anymore without serious side effects. This means the Pill, Depo, Patch, and the Nuva-ring aren't options.

I'm allergic to spermicide, so a diaphragm isn't an option.

IUDs? Just reading about them makes me uncomfortable and skeptical, but if anyone has personal experience them, I'd love to hear about it...

Nothing involving surgery--I can't afford to get my tubes tied, and I'm not going to ask my partner to get a vasectomy.



I'm currently using condoms until I find something else, but...ugh...I'd really like to stop using them ASAP.

So, OP9, what do I do? Is there some form of contraception that I forgot to list or don't know about?

[Neon Pink Shoehorn]

if only they had the shot for males.

There's rhythm, but meh.

I'm trying to figure out if you've taken progestin-only BC. the answer's probably yes, but I'll ask anyway.

There's cervical caps, which you're advised to use with spermicide, however there have been people who've used them without spermicide effectively. They stay in place by suction.

I can't think of any other methods off the top of my head...

[Jetsetlemming]

if only they had the shot for males.

I'm sure if you looked there's some sort of non-standard thing men can do. It's hardly like sperm are hardly things. They can't even survive in the environment of the vagina without the acid neutralizing of the semen. :P

[Angelyne]

I'm trying to figure out if you've taken progestin-only BC. the answer's probably yes, but I'll ask anyway.


I've tried several combined (estrogen and progestin) and progestin-only hormonal contraceptives. Everything I've tried has given me nasty side effects, and I've run out patience for trying any other hormonal BC for the time being.

Might read more about diaphragms, but I'd be nervous not having spermicide to go with it.

I'm sure if you looked there's some sort of non-standard thing men can do. It's hardly like sperm are hardly things. They can't even survive in the environment of the vagina without the acid neutralizing of the semen.

I read that popular contraceptive method in the Middle East is for men to take extremely hot, long baths every day for a month, which results in them temporarily nuking their sperm count. The low sperm count lasts a few months.

Just adding this because I thought it was interesting. To me, it seems about as dodgy as the rhythm method.

[Roxie]

You tried the low doses as well? Orthotricycline low and nuva ring are reported to have lower doses. If those don't work, it looks like it's the IUD for you. You might want to talk to your doctor about that.

[Angelyne]

You tried the low doses as well? Orthotricycline low and nuva ring are reported to have lower doses. If those don't work, it looks like it's the IUD for you. You might want to talk to your doctor about that.

My last prescription was a low-dose hormonal pill. It was great in that I didn't have many physical side effects for years, but the emotional side effects (mood swings, depression, etc.) were getting out of control. When I stopped taking my birth control, my mood improved immensly and it's amazing how much better I feel. Best I've felt in years, even. This is why I said nothing hormonal--it's just not worth feeling miserable anymore.

Only mentioning this in case someone reading this is in a similar situation to me. If you're on BC and constantly feel like shit, try taking a break from it for a month and see if it helps.

[Jetsetlemming]

I read that popular contraceptive method in the Middle East is for men to take extremely hot, long baths every day for a month, which results in them temporarily nuking their sperm count. The low sperm count lasts a few months.

Just adding this because I thought it was interesting. To me, it seems about as dodgy as the rhythm method.
The whole reason testicles are separate from the rest of the body is that sperm can't even take normal body temperature. I remember seeing either a discovery channel (or was it PBS) show on sex that tested it. A hot bath at just barely tolerable killed them off, temporarily. Sperm production isn't slow, however, and the effect hardly lasts months.

[Roxie]

This is why I said nothing hormonal--it's just not worth feeling miserable anymore.

can't blame you for that one!
I suggest you talk to obgyn about IUD b/c it's about fit...which is quite personal and I'd hesitate to go by the reports on the internet.

[ellie]

I'm also interested in the IUD thinger. I'm nervous about it because my mom got pregnant at least twice while using an IUD, so I'm not sure how well they really work. Then again, these pregnancies were from pre-1990, so they may well work much better now than they did almost 2 decades ago. Has anyone on here tried the IUD? For some reason I'm under the impression that they have a multitude of unpleasant physical side-effects.

I personally don't mind condoms too much, but I do agree sex is better without them.

[Roxie]

the thing about IUDs are that there are differences for women who have had children and women who have not, which is why I encourage everyone to go to a doctor to discuss those.

[ZaichikArky]

A while ago here, someone posted something about a birth control for men. It's either available now, or will be in the near future.

Aren't basically all birth control methods other than condoms hormonal? Actually, I read that there are two types of IUDs, one hormonal, the other not. Interesting fact:



The IUD is the world's most widely used method of reversible birth control,[1] currently used by nearly 160 million women (just over two-thirds of whom are in China where it is the most widely used birth control method, surpassing sterilization).[2] Usage in many countries has been measured by surveys of married women of reproductive age. In this population, IUD use ranges from 5% in Belgium, to 18% in Scandinavia, 30% in Russia and China, and 40% in Kazakhstan.[27]


Oh right,and I have another random question. I'd appreciate if anyone with any knowledge on fabrics can help me.

Basically, I moved to Japan and don't have a dryer. Often, drying your clothes in a dryer gets rid of most wrinkles because of the heat. I hang my clothes up. I would like most of my clothes to be wrinkle-free and I have noticed that some fabrics are much better at that than others.

My mom bought me a bunch of blouses and cut all the tags off, so I don't know what material the
wrinkle-free shirts are made of. I think maybe the 100 percent cotton shirts are the ones that wrinkle a lot, but I don't know. One type of blouse probably shouldn't be washed at all in the washer, but it's alright for the most part. That kind of material is very silky. It's not silk, but it's similar in texture/lightness. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I notice that the shirts that are heavier(probably the 100 percent cotton ones) wrinkle heavily.

It's kind of hard for me because ironing doesn't get rid of all the wrinkles, and whenever I iron, I get these really annoying creases >_<.

thanx : ).

[Roxie]

I'm guessing Satin? take a picture.

[ZaichikArky]

Alrighty : ). Well, here is a pic of what I'm wearing to work today. It's the bad shirt, the one that wrinkles really badly. It's kinda hard to tell, though...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v326/MajesticArcanine/yellowshirt.jpg


As for the satin-y shirt that doesn't wrinkle:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v326/MajesticArcanine/pinkshirt.jpg

[erbiumfiber]

Polyester is pretty wrinkle-free and cotton-polyester blouses drip-dry to a relatively wrinke-free state.

I'm bummed because I had to get rid of my old dryer (kansoki) which was almost as good as an American dryer and I used it for work shirts. My new National combo washer/dryer (very expensive heat pump model) leaves all my clothes wrinkled. I only use it when the clothes are still damp after a couple of days and on work shirts. Now I'm stuck with ironing...:gloomy:

I may start taking my shirts to the dry cleaners. They're mens shirts anyway and I think they only charge 100 yen each. Just need to buy some extras so I can have enough to be in cleaning while the others are being worn...

[stsparky]

Birth Control works with both partners being active about it.

Use a condom, and use Dr. Bronner's all-in-one soap (http://www.drbronner.com/drb_sai_liquids.html) to alter the Ph in your vagina making the environment hostile to sperm. Test to see if the soap is irritating you before hand.

[Angelyne]

Aren't basically all birth control methods other than condoms hormonal?

Sadly, yes.

Thanks for the link, sparky.

[Trump]

Just practice ironing and you'll get better about ironing in creases. It's all about practice. I'm to the point where I can iron a shirt in under 3 minutes with no creases.

[Roxie]

Trump, I don't she's got any trouble with teh ironing skills, but the shirt just won't stay that way.

Have you tried spray on starch?

[Trump]

Wrinkles and creases are not the same thing! I have a couple shirts I hate wearing because even after ironing they still look wrinkled. It depends on how the shirt is made and what it is treated with more than the material it is made out of. For example, most cotton T-shirts don't wrinkle much but the shirt I have that wrinkles up just from looking at it is also 100% cotton. I think it just has a denser thread count or something.

[ZaichikArky]

Just practice ironing and you'll get better about ironing in creases. It's all about practice. I'm to the point where I can iron a shirt in under 3 minutes with no creases.

Yeah, I think it would help if I had an ironing board, which I don't have. So I iron my clothes on the floor, sometimes using a folded-up bedsheet. It's kind of hard getting an ironing board because of the bike issue... it's too hard to carry one home even if I do find one somewhere.

Roxie, what is that stuff? I was thinking of spray-on solutions but I have absolutely no experience with that. I'm not sure if I can get it in Japan, but I could look for it in the US and bring it back, I'm sure.

Okay, I've been doing a tiny bit of research lol. Some "homemade remedies"

from http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf201154.tip.html

WRINKLE REMOVER SPRAY: 1 cup distilled water, 1/2 cup rubbing alcohol or cheep vodka, 1/4 cup liquid fabric softener. Put in clean spray bottle. ( 8 oz. distilled water, 4 oz. alcohol, 2 oz. liquid fabric softener) (08/25/2006)

I think I shall try this. I'm sure I could find all of that at the 100 yen store in Japan :D. However, I wonder how necessary the "distilled water" is. I've never looked for the stuff in America. Hm. Maybe that one would be hard to find.

Erbium, have you tried/found any sprays that work in Japan?? Too bad your new dryer makes your clothes wrinkly >_>.

[Candyvan Stan]

This thread would lead me to believe that all women are interested in discussing are their cycles, sex and clothing.

[Jetsetlemming]

This thread would lead me to believe that all women are interested in discussing are their cycles, sex and clothing.
You've learned a valuable lesson this day.

[Candyvan Stan]

So if I want to bond with a girl all I'd have to say is something like;

"So, how's your cycle going today!?!?!?"

[Jetsetlemming]

Best start with discussion of sex or clothing and see where it goes from there.

[nanashi]

"So, how's your cycle going today!?!?!?"


It doesn't work when a guy does it. D: Only girls can bond in that way!

No, instead you talk to her about cute clothing. Although, she might just think you're gay. Better just keep your mouth shut, smile, and nod. (>.> Although I do MAKE my male friends talk about cute clothes sometimes. They've yet to bring it up themselves, though.)

[Roxie]

Y

Roxie, what is that stuff? I was thinking of spray-on solutions but I have absolutely no experience with that. I'm not sure if I can get it in Japan, but I could look for it in the US and bring it back, I'm sure.

Okay, I've been doing a tiny bit of research lol. Some "homemade remedies"

from http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf201154.tip.html

Spray Starch (http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100759&navAction=jump&navCount=1&id=prod4161)

Oh and YES DISTILLED WATER IS VERY IMPORTANT!! as it won't leave any water marks on your clothes

[phenyl]

Spray Starch (http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100759&navAction=jump&navCount=1&id=prod4161)

Oh and YES DISTILLED WATER IS VERY IMPORTANT!! as it won't leave any water marks on your clothes


You can get distilled water in pharmacies here withouth problem. Just ask for "しょうりゅすい" (at least that what google translate gives ;-) )
I got it in half-liter-bottles.

[White Girl]

The new-look application would include room for a box where the man and woman could write what they'll be called after their wedding day. The applications now have boxes for the bride's and groom's current names but no place to put what they want their new surnames to be.

So, effectively, one could make up their own last name? Say your name is Johnson, and you're marrying a Smith, you could make your name be Smithson or Johnith or something?

...that's awesome...

I took my husband's last name, so now I have a Japanese name. It really flows with my first name, and sounds much better than my old last name, so I'm happy with it. In Korea, they never take the husband's last name. Their names are always separate. I find that weird and don't really like it.

About wrinkles in clothing, which the rest of the thread seems to be about... I would highly advise buying an ironing board. That's all.

And about bonding with girls, just act normal. She will probably like that best. Me and my American guy friends mainly talk about video games and 80s cartoons...

[Candyvan Stan]

And about bonding with girls, just act normal. She will probably like that best. Me and my American guy friends mainly talk about video games and 80s cartoons...

Thanks! Before this thread came along I did not even dare to talk to a girl!

[dzee]

your posts always confuse me, mikeyy.

i can never figure out if it's sarcasm/not. :(

[Trump]

Agree, ironing board is terribly important. Without a thin, flat, and firm surface it is nearly impossible to iron things. I've tried on beds and things before and it just doesn't work. Maybe you should try ordering an ironing board online and having it delivered?

[Roxie]

from feministing (http://feministing.com/archives/007817.html#comments)

Keeping schools safe through period-monitoring
As a security measure, a school in upstate New York, has banned students from carrying bags (backpacks, purses anything). Unless you're a menstruating girl, that is. (http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070928/NEWS/709280342) Need some clarification? So did I.

A student at Tri-Valley High School was called out of class by a security guard during a school sweep last week to make sure no kids had backpacks or other banned bags.
Samantha Martin, 14, had a small purse with her that day.

That's why the security guard, ex-Monticello cop Mike Bunce, asked her The Question.

She says he told her she couldn't have a purse unless she had her period. Then he asked, "Do you have your period?"

Samantha was mortified.

Apparently, there was a school rumor (not an actual rule) that girls could only carry small bags or purses if they had their periods. So security guards starting pulling girls out of classes, or questioning them in the hallways, about whether they were menstruating or not. Real appropriate.

What's heartening, though, is that the students aren't taking this crap without a fight.

Girls have worn tampons on their clothes in protest, and purses made out of tampon boxes. Some boys wore maxi-pads stuck to their shirts in support.
After hearing that someone might have been suspended for the protest, freshman Hannah Lindquist, 14, went to talk to {Principal Robert] Worden. She wore her protest necklace, an OB tampon box on a piece of yarn. She said Worden confiscated it, talked to her about the code of conduct and the backpack rule — and told her she was now "part of the problem."


Yeah, girls who don't want creepy security guards knowing about their cycles are huge problems. Soon, they'll expect things like basic respect and privacy rights!


"Detain her, boys! This uterus could go off at any minute!"

First of all, without bags of any sort, how are the students supposed to function? Pens, pencils, erasers, sharpeners, markers, highlighters, books, notebooks, paper...I could go on and on. The amount of stuff I kept in my backpack (and actually used on a regular basis) was astounding. Not to even mention personal items like hair bands, wallet, pleasure reading, prescription medications, etc.

So I don't understand how this rule can work in the first place. Which makes this whole "Little girl, is it your time?" thing even stupider.

That is insane. But it's demonstrating the effect of paranoia and militarism in schools more than sexism, I think. Yes, it's absurd and infuriating that they would imagine it's ok to ask girls if they're menstruating. But this isn't about discriminating against girls; it's about being idiotic and having to suffer the practical consequences of your bullshit policies.

as fucked up as this is, the students' response is AWESOME. I really can't imagine most teenage girls being willing to walk around with tampons on their clothing, so the fact that they are is beyond cool. And though I can see boys wearing a pad on their shirt as a joke, I think that it being part of a protest opens them up to taunting from their peers. So kudos to them, too.

While we're on the subject of menstrual product jewelery, the necklace sounds great and all, but you know what would be about a million times better? Tampon earrings. Seriously. Think about it, pass it on, and I want to see some pictures. http://www.tamponcrafts.com/
__________________________

those are feministing comments, btw.

[Jetsetlemming]

Considering most of the girls I knew in highschool couldn't shut the fuck up about their cycles while they were having their period if you threatened them with violence, I don't have any sympathy for them on that issue.
Also, why do girls get an OK for having bags while on the rag? A tampon or pad can fit in a pants pocket just as easily enough.
But I agree about the bags and backpacks thing. Textbooks, binders, paper, pencils, homework... banning bags is retarded. In fact, worrying about school shootings and violence in general is retarded, and most "solutions" to it is retarded. Most such things can be far better handled by a warmer, better learning environment, attentive teachers and aides, and classmates. People like the columbine shooters and the Virginia Tech guy should've and could've been spotted coming from a mile away.

[Plekto]

Awesome site. :)

[Black fist]

I would be fucked if they banned back packs over her and so would 99% of the school because no body carries binder.

[Angelyne]

My middle school had a partial ban on backpacks. You were allowed to bring one to school, but it had to be in your locker before the first bell and you couldn't take it out until the last bell. You get through the day by making frequent trips to your locker--take only what you need to your next class, return it to your locker after class and pick up the stuff for next class, etc. It was more manageable that you might expect.

[Jetsetlemming]

My middle school had a partial ban on backpacks. You were allowed to bring one to school, but it had to be in your locker before the first bell and you couldn't take it out until the last bell. You get through the day by making frequent trips to your locker--take only what you need to your next class, return it to your locker after class and pick up the stuff for next class, etc. It was more manageable that you might expect.
My schools have had the same, with a rule of nothing bigger than a large purse. People started carrying mail bags and man purses and things of that nature.
For the record, not one gun or weapon was brought to school EVER.
Plenty of people got their asses kicked in fights in the halls, though.

[PopCulturePooka]

Australian schools don't even have lockers. You carry a backpack all day.

Regarding the school Roxie posted about about. Just because some mysogynist nerd kid said his experience tells him ALL girls crow about their period, it is NOT ok for security guards to ask that question. Massive privacy issues there.

[ellie]

My schools have had the same, with a rule of nothing bigger than a large purse. People started carrying mail bags and man purses and things of that nature.
For the record, not one gun or weapon was brought to school EVER.
Plenty of people got their asses kicked in fights in the halls, though.


Me too. We never, ever had a weapon problem, just the occasional redneck fight in the halls or outside. We still weren't allowed to carry backpacks, though, which was annoying at first but I guess we got used to it pretty fast. I think the most annoying thing was that we only had 3 minutes between bells, which is totally NOT enough time to get to your locker and get your stuff, so we would be carrying huge stacks of books and stuff and only go to the locker during official Break and lunch.

[MNJetter]

Girls have worn tampons on their clothes in protest, and purses made out of tampon boxes. Some boys wore maxi-pads stuck to their shirts in support.
I had to laugh at this. It's such a very high-school-esque way to respond to a problem. Now that I'm no longer a teenager, I find it cute how predictable they are when they think they're being original.

That's not to comment on the policy. I agree that it's a bad policy. Not to mention, even if they managed to keep the policy, how are they going to prevent girls from simply claiming that they have their period in order to carry a purse? Visual confirmation?

Sometimes you wonder why it is necessary to go to college in order to get a good job, when the people who have the good jobs come up with silly things like that.

[Roxie]

another thing is that girls these age don't always have predictable periods and often carry a pad/tampon at all times just in case they start.

[ZaichikArky]

Considering most of the girls I knew in highschool couldn't shut the fuck up about their cycles while they were having their period if you threatened them with violence, I don't have any sympathy for them on that issue.
Also, why do girls get an OK for having bags while on the rag? A tampon or pad can fit in a pants pocket just as easily enough.

Most girls talk to each other about their periods, not to big security guards. It's an incredibly embarrassing question. Most girls pockets are small. Also, if you were to put a tampon or pad into a pocket, it gets messed up very easily due to a lot of movement and such a tight space. I can't leave tampons/pads in my backpacks for a very long time because even in there, they get squished and unusable.


First of all, without bags of any sort, how are the students supposed to function? Pens, pencils, erasers, sharpeners, markers, highlighters, books, notebooks, paper...I could go on and on. The amount of stuff I kept in my backpack (and actually used on a regular basis) was astounding. Not to even mention personal items like hair bands, wallet, pleasure reading, prescription medications, etc.

I'm glad my school never had that. It would be so inconvenient to constantly go to your locker to get your things out for class when you have 5 minutes to go between classes and at my school, one tardy for class meant detention. Not to mention you'd probably be losing and dropping your stuff all over the place since you not only need your books, but your school supplies, some of which get somewhat large, especially for math class.

[PopCulturePooka]

Most girls talk to each other about their periods, not to big security guards. It's an incredibly embarrassing question. Most girls pockets are small. Also, if you were to put a tampon or pad into a pocket, it gets messed up very easily due to a lot of movement and such a tight space. I can't leave tampons/pads in my backpacks for a very long time because even in there, they get squished and unusable.


For once my dear, I agree with you.

Heck I've only had the 'On my period' excuse use on me once when a girl wanted to get out of sport/classwork.

Most times the girls come up with much more bizarre excuses.

[ZaichikArky]

Okay, I have another question about clothes. Forget the wrinkles, what I hate most is stains that never come out in the wash : (. Do any of you use stain remover? What's the best kind that works? I've never tried any before but I'd like to start.

[Roxie]

shout works for me.

[Lea]

Stains that don't even come out in the wash? I don't know, in my personal experience, if it doesn't come out in a few washings, it is never coming out. That's pretty rare though... If you get a bad stain, I like to soak it in cool water for awhile, treat it with a stain remover like shout (as Roxie said) and then wash it. Never let the stain sit drying for a long time... that can lead to it never coming out! >.<

[Kleshya]

I have used that Bleach pen and that has really come through for me, the only problem is you can't use it on colors.

Never let the stain sit drying for a long time... that can lead to it never coming out! >.<

I am sure you already know this, but try not to run it through the dryer if the stain hasn't come out yet as the heat can make it set.

[ZaichikArky]

I ALWAYS have stains that never come out >_>. I never took care of my stains though, because I had no idea how to, and I'm more concerned about that now because I'm tired of my clothes having permanent stains on them. I shall buy some shout when I go back to the US. Thanks :D.

[Lea]

I have used that Bleach pen and that has really come through for me, the only problem is you can't use it on colors.



I am sure you already know this, but try not to run it through the dryer if the stain hasn't come out yet as the heat can make it set.

Oh yes, ture ture! If the stain still isn't out after going through the washer, I don't put it in the dryer. I'll wash it again and see what happens. What a process!

[ellie]

I have a really ugly grease stain on one of my work shirts, I apparently got butter on myself (I am a waitress so I often have random food stains on my shirt.) I'm actually about to leave to go to the Dry Cleaner's and see if they can fix my shirt (much cheaper to have the Dry Cleaner do it, than to go buy a new shirt.)

[Angelyne]

This sounds a bit sensational to me, but it's another reason why I'm glad that I don't wear make up:

Cosmetics could be killing you

THE average woman absorbs two kilograms of chemicals from cosmetics a year - from cancer-causing compounds in face cream to arsenic in eyeshadow.

A typical woman's daily beauty regime may involve applying as many as 175 chemical compounds to their skin and hair.

Of course, the manufacturers would say these chemicals and resulting products are safe, but a growing school of thought begs to differ.

Cosmetics contain many different kinds of chemicals, but of particular concern are a group of preservatives called parabens, which by some estimates are found in 99 per cent of all 'leave on' cosmetics, and 77per cent of 'rinse off' cosmetics.

These are known hormone disruptors: evidence suggests they can mimic the female hormone oestrogen, and a lifetime of increased exposure to oestrogen is linked to a heightened risk of breast cancer.

One study found parabens present in 18 out of 20 breast cancer tissue samples (though it is important to note that the study did not prove they'd actually caused the breast cancer).

Parabens are also thought to adversely affect male reproductive functions.

Another troubling chemical is the antibacterial agent and pesticide triclosan, which is used in toothpastes, soaps, household cleaning products and body washes.

It belongs to the chlorophenol class of chemicals, which are suspected of causing cancer in humans and taken internally, even in small amounts, can cause cold sweats, circulatory problems and - in extreme cases - coma.

Also of concern are phthalates, a substance that gives our lotions that silky, creamy, texture, but which are also a 'plasticiser' used to make plastics flexible.

Certain phthalates are known carcinogens, and studies have suggested they damage the liver, kidneys, lungs and the reproductive system, as well as affecting the development of unborn baby boys.

The list goes on. Sodium laureth sulphate, a frequent ingredient in shower gels and shampoos, is a skin irritant; Propylene glycol, found in soap, blushers and make-up remover, has been shown in large quantities to depress the central nervous system to make it function less effectively, and aluminum in deodorants is linked to breast cancer by medical research.

And did you know that certain eye shadows contain arsenic?

One thing is for sure: few of us would want to rub any of these chemicals into our eyes, far less ingest them in liquids by drinking them.

Yet, every day, we rub them into our skin, and allow them to enter our bodies.

Given the facts, it's hardly surprising that a growing number of experts believe these substances have a cumulative effect on our bodies.

They think the 'chemical cocktail' inside us is contributing to the increased frequency of a host of illnesses ranging from eczema to cancers as well as developmental problems such as autism and dyslexia.

"It's difficult to see the link between chemicals in cosmetics and damage to health unless you stand back and look at the wider picture," Dr Paula Baillie-Hamilton, author of Toxic Overload, told The Daily Mail.

"Man-made chemicals first emerged 100 years ago, and every decade since, the overall production of these synthetic chemicals has doubled.

"We are surrounded by chemicals: in the air, in our food, in our water and especially in our cosmetics, and the fact is that our bodies can't break many of these substances down."

Dr Baillie-Hamilton also thinks that absorbing chemicals through our skin is more dangerous than swallowing them.

"At least if you ingest chemicals through your mouth, your digestive system can do something towards dealing with them," she says.

"If they go through your skin they hit your blood stream immediately and are then transported to vital organs such as kidney and liver, where they may be stored for many years."

For instance, the average woman eats, albeit unwittingly, five lipsticks a year, which in her lifetime is the equivalent volume of 1.5 blocks of lard.

People who use permanent hair dye are more than twice as likely to develop bladder cancer as those that don't.

Both ammonia and paraphenylenediamine (PPD) - chemical substances used in dyes - can cause allergic reactions, too.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,22540525-23272,00.html

[Roxie]

so...bare minerals and baking soda it is?

[ellie]

I can't think of any ways to rescue dried up contacts. Massive amounts of solution and rubbing possibly could help, or just use eye drops every like two minutes.

Speaking of things that feel like they should just be boiled out, I have cramps from hell (at least I am now able to sit upright, instead of curled in a ball on the floor moaning.) Today is NOT looking good: class from 10-2 and then work from 4-11. Fuuuuck.

[Angelyne]

Ladies, I need professional clothing to wear in an office environment. What store or website do you recommend for this type of clothing?

[erbiumfiber]

For cheap office clothes (if the environment is on the formal side) then I recommend Chadwick's. Right now, the site is down (as it's the middle of the night in America) but the address is www.chadwicks.com.

They sell casual clothes as well.

Here in Japan I have bought Japanese suits (which don't fit me perfectly) because American clothing is too colorful for my shades-of-gray-and-black office. I don't know how the Japanese, who had such a tradition of attractive, colorful, kimonos came to this...

I now own several black and pinstripe/black suits. I do wear a pink shirt with one of them but that's about it. It's easier to just be dull and fit in with the crowd. You get stared at enough just for being a foreigner (and especially a foreign woman) that you don't need to get stared at for your clothes as well.

[xtine]

If you are in America, almost every mall has an Express store (http://www.expressfashion.com/) they sell a lot of business suit and business casual type of stuff for both men and women.

[ellie]

I like Banana Republic for grown-up work type clothing. I actually just went there last week and bought an "interview outfit." I particularly like Banana Republic because my boyfriend works there part time (he's my manager at the restaurant where I work but also works at Banana Republic twice a month), and so thus I get to use his 30% discount if I go shopping with him, and sometimes he gets me gift cards for there (because a $100 gift card only costs him $70.)

[Angelyne]

Thanks for the suggestions! Still looking for more if anyone else has something to recommend.

I found some promising things on Chadwicks website (thanks Erbium!), but I've never bought clothes online or even from a catalog before and I'm extremely paranoid that I'll end up ordering something that doesn't fit. My size varies by brand/store; when I buy clothes at a store, I usually need to take 2-3 sizes into the dressing room to figure out which one will fit properly. Would I be better off just sticking to a store? How much of a pain in the ass is it to return clothing bought online?

ellie, a Banana Republic would be perfect right now except that there aren't any around here. :meh: xtine, I 'll give Express another try, but I haven't had much luck there in the past. :(

[Plekto]

Lands End is also very good for that conservative look.(note - their mail order catalog is 20x the size of the election in Sears)

[erbiumfiber]

Returning stuff bought online/from a catalogue can be hard or easy, depending upon the store. One store I dealt with (I forget which one) sent a pre-addressed, postage-paid envelope in which to return things. Mostly, however, you have to suck up the postage but they easily accept returns.

I have bought things from Land's End and they will actually discuss sizes on the phone with you. I was debating between two sizes for a down coat and they advised me on the correct size and I was very happy with the fit (and I am another person who usually brings a couple of sizes in to try on). Now Land's End is only dealing with itself as the manufacturer while Chadwick's is dealing with a large number of suppliers so I don't know if they have as much information on the sizes. But it is worth a phone call, especially since the call is free.

[nanashi]

Okay. I have a girly question. This might have been asked before, though..

Okay. I want my skin to look nicer but I hate wearing thick makeup. I heard Bare Minerals was good for this.. Is it? Does anyone know where to get it (that isn't online)?
And also, is it just a powder? Would I need to put lotion or something on before using it?

Also, speaking of wanting better skin... What is a good facial cleansing set that would be cheaper than proactive?

I just hate that my skin isn't perfect and get blemishes. I exercise, eat pretty well besides the candy, and drink lots of liquids. I guess my only problem is I don't go out in the sun much. Any advice?

[Trump]

My advice is don't worry about it so much!! But that probably isn't much help.

Most on topic, getting enough and better sleep helps your skin more than you think.

Do you drink "liquids" or soda? Cut out the soda.

[nanashi]

I don't drink soda. Perhaps I'll have a rootbeer or mountain dew a couple times a month if that much. >.< So it's not that. And I do get good sleep. Maybe I'll just have to get more sun :P

[Roxie]

I don't think you're going to get cheaper than proactive. I used it and it works very well for me. You maybe able to get it cheaper on ebay, that's where I got mine.

Bare minerals isn't typically sold in stores, but you maybe able to find it in Sephora.

[nanashi]

I don't think you're going to get cheaper than proactive. I used it and it works very well for me. You maybe able to get it cheaper on ebay, that's where I got mine.

Bare minerals isn't typically sold in stores, but you maybe able to find it in Sephora.


Hmm. I guess you're right. I know there are Neutrogena sets for 20 dollars but I don't know if they are better or the same as proactive. I was able to find proactive on ebay for $10 less.

As for bare minerals.. I found stuff I just don't know how it works. XD It's only $30 for a 3 peice set + brush so maybe I'll just experiment.

[Roxie]

well, look at the website, i know there are tips.

It's just a powder. You dip the brush in the color, swirl it around, tap off the excess and buff it on to your face.

[/|/@/|/@し]

Okay. So my friend suggested accutane, that being what she uses for acne, so I was wondering if other people are for or against it? She had much more serious acne than I did. But she says her skin currently GLOWS from it.

I heard there were a lot of side effects.. She says the biggest ones for her are dehydration and depression on some days. Is it worth it? I don't have serious acne.. but...

[Roxie]

Isn't accutane a prescription? IF you don't think yours is so serious, try something else like proactive first.

[ellie]

I wash my face twice a day with Sephora Deep Cleanser for Normal skin, and then at night I also use an astringent (Clinique Clarifying #2), and then finish up with a dab of ZapZit if I have a zit that needs to be zapped. Seems to be a fairly effective method for me, I usually get a few zits a month near my period. Also, make sure the makeup that you're using is non-comedegenic (or however you spell it.) Oil-free, basically.

[belladonna]

is your skin oily or como or dry? like i have normal to oily skin, but proactive is way too strong for my skin, i use cetaphyl and love it. it's really cheap, like i get a good sized bottle at wal-mart, use it twice a day and it works ten times better than proactive... but also use a good quality moisturizer or oil-controlling lotion like matte scientist by origins

[Roxie]

Yeah, it definitely depends on your skin type. I tried cetaphyl and it did absolutely nothing for me, but proactive worked like a charm.

[/|/@/|/@し]

Hmm. Okay. Thanks for the advice. :D

I think I'll try some of those things before I try proactiv. Also, it's winter and my face clears up more in the colder months. I'm originally from a sub-tropical climate (South Florida) so I also have another question!!

Do you guys find that your sin condition changes depending on the months? This is my second fall/winter(ish) season I'll be going through and last year my skin and hair seemed nicer fall and winter. (Yet my sinuses are drying up again and last year I got terrible nose bleeds). I tend to get labeled stupid for asking my coworkers things like this, despite my absence of living in a climate that gets below 60 degrees for 99% of my life, so please excuse me if the question sounds ignorant. .__.

[Roxie]

You're not being stupid.

In the winter, thanks to hot showers, heat in cars and indoors, your skin actually tends to be dryer, which probably explains why you get less breakouts.

[4letterwords]

I tan to even my skin, use the proactive skin system w/ their overnight mask, I use bare minerals makeup and I have the monthly Vitaclear vitamins that are supposed to keep your skin balanced... and it works pretty well... for someone like me with bad skin. the ONLY thing I have a problem with is the bare minerals has a tendency to wipe off even with a touch of your hand, and unlike other makeup that you can touch up, it looks kindof strange to touchup with the bare minerals as it shows up uneven. But its really good for your skin and is pretty unnoticable if you do it right. Unfortunately, it costs me between 2-300$ a month to keep my skin clear because of how bad it is...

[belladonna]

yeah, mine tends to change but only a little because no matter the season it's humid here because of the rivier. but i tend to have slightly oily hair and skin so i use clarifying items. i hope that these things work for you! and if you do decide cetophil (checked the spelling), it cleanses without drying and i know that proactive dries the holy crap out of my oily skin...

[Roxie]

I just got my fifteen minutes....probably 5.

http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2007/10/13/a-christmas-pussy-carol/

[Trump]

Most acne treatments do strange (unnatural? not saying they are bad) things to your skin. I would not recommend extended expose to sunlight while using acne treatments.

[belladonna]

definitely make sure that you use a sunscreen daily

[ellie]

Oh yes, I am a huge advocate of daily sunscreen usage. I ALWAYS wear SPF 15, and then use additional sunscreen if I'm going outside a lot. My little sister tans a lot, and although she is two years younger than me, she looks several years older because she already has wrinkles under her eyes from tanning so much. I'll take paleness over early wrinkles any day. Also, skin cancer runs in my family and so I'm trying hard not to ever get it! If I need to be tan for a particular event or whatever, I go to Mystic Tan. It's not bad for your skin, it's quick and easy, and it's pretty cheap (not as cheap as regular tanning, but not as expensive as air-brush tan, either.)

[Roxie]

German Playboy, 77, Sues for Sex (http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,513579,00.html)

Aging German playboy Rolf Eden has rarely taken no for an answer. And he's not about to start. He has filed charges against a 19-year-old for refusing to sleep with him. The complaint? Ageism.

[Roxie]

The COOLEST Dress eVAR! (http://kittyscreations.wordpress.com/2007/09/28/yarn-hole-puncher-uno-cards-uno-dress/#comment-36)

[ZaichikArky]

^aw I like that one. It doesn't even look that hard to make if you have some crocheting skills.

[Roxie]

I never watched "Buffy" when it was on, so my very awesome friend Jess copied the entire series on DVD and I love it. I'm on the last 3 episodes and This totally made me bawl today.

Spike: [sighs] There's always casualties in war.
Buffy Summers: Casualties in - It just sounds so... casual. These are... girls, that I got killed. I cut myself off from them. All of them. I knew I was gonna lose some of them, and... I didn't -
[sigh]
Buffy Summers: You know what? I'm still making excuses. I've always cut myself off. I've always -
[sigh]
Buffy Summers: Being the Slayer made me different. But, it's my fault I stayed that way. People are always trying to connect to me. And I just slip away.
[scoffs]
Buffy Summers: You should know.
Spike: I seem to recall a certain amount of connecting.
Buffy Summers: Oh, please. We were never close. You just wanted me because I was... unattainable.
Spike: You think that's all that was?
Buffy Summers: Please, let's not go over the past.
Spike: Oh, no, no! Oh, let's hold on here! I've hummed along to your pity ditty and I think I should have the mic for a bit.
Buffy Summers: Fine. The stage is yours. Cheer me up.
Spike: You're insufferable.
Buffy Summers: Thank you. That really helped.
Spike: I'm not tryin' to cheer you up.
Buffy Summers: What are you trying to say?
Spike: I don't know! I'll know when I'm done sayin' it. Something pissed me off, and I just - "Unattainable," that's it.
Buffy Summers: Fine. I'm attainable. I'm a - I'm an "attain-a-thon." May I please just go to sleep?
Spike: You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you. And dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine. And done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years. And there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you. Or because I can't have you. It has nothin' to do with me. I love what you *are*. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a *hell* of a woman. You're the One, Buffy. :joytear:

[nanashi]

About a year back I got my ears pierced on the upper cartilage part. Apparently my ears are sensitive and I might even possibly be allergic to the metal in earings. I had these butterfly ones in there for a while and after like.. a few months of being in my ear it looks like the metal wore away and my ears stopped hurting. (Which is why I thought it was a possible allergic reaction to whatever metal or coating they put on most earings)

Well, I lost one of them so I put a standard cheap metal earing in there. After a couple days it hurt pretty badly so I took it out.. And I didn't know this much blood could come out of an ear.

Suggestions?? Is gold less allergic than silver? (I've had previous problems with a cheap silver ring) How should I care for my ear....? Or should i let it close up since it's currently bleeding.


Oh, and I can have cheap silver/metal ones in my other earings where there isn't as much cartilage. Only the cartilage part hates me.

[belladonna]

About a year back I got my ears pierced on the upper cartilage part. Apparently my ears are sensitive and I might even possibly be allergic to the metal in earings. I had these butterfly ones in there for a while and after like.. a few months of being in my ear it looks like the metal wore away and my ears stopped hurting. (Which is why I thought it was a possible allergic reaction to whatever metal or coating they put on most earings)

Well, I lost one of them so I put a standard cheap metal earing in there. After a couple days it hurt pretty badly so I took it out.. And I didn't know this much blood could come out of an ear.

Suggestions?? Is gold less allergic than silver? (I've had previous problems with a cheap silver ring) How should I care for my ear....? Or should i let it close up since it's currently bleeding.


Oh, and I can have cheap silver/metal ones in my other earings where there isn't as much cartilage. Only the cartilage part hates me.
I feel your pain!!! I'm allergic to nickel in earrings... Just get some earrings for sensitive ears, or get nickel free

[ellie]

Go to a reputable piercer to begin with. . .those crappy places at the mall are NOT a good place for getting pierced with or for buying quality jewelry! An actual piercer should have appropriate jewelry. If you're sensitive, then Claire's quality stuff just isn't going to work in your ears. Go to an actual piercing studio, tell them your problem, and they'll be able to recommend the correct solution for you.

My lower holes (6ga) I can put basically whatever I want in there, cheap silicone or whatever, doesn't matter. . .for some reason only my 3rd hole in my left ear ever bothers me, I think it was pierced at an angle.

[Lea]

^ Same here! My lower two piercings on my ears are always fine. But my third upper piercings are sensitive and can get sore sometimes. Right now they are fine, but sometimes they get sore. Especially if I leave my earings out for an extended amount of time.