Wizdom
09-18-2005, 02:49 AM
Aint That a Bitch pt 5
Because Jay the Man, Brutha Fujin, Mushu, e-sister Shamu and my ex ahisma wants it, here's another ATAB story.
* This story occurs when I was a self proclaimed “Playa” (don’t worry I’m not that ignorant and immature anymore)
I’ve been getting a couple of request for some more playa tips. So In this installment of ATAB ill do a couple tips along with an accompanying story.
Playa tip #3: When at a club, bar or party, get a Scouter and use him often.
Story: I was at a club in San Diego. It was my first night there and this was the third club we went to that night. I was tired so I just chilled at the bar. My homies were on the dance flood grinding some chicks so I was totally defenseless. All of the sudden this chick who was on the dance floor points over to me and mouths me to come here. She looked good as hell. She looked like Tyra Banks, plus she was doing stripteases on the dance floor. Then every guy at the bar look over to me as if to say “what the fuck you waiting on”. Me being me I said “shit!, she aint got to tell me twice!” as I did my lil pimp walk to the dance floor.
But something strange was a foot. The closer I got to her, the less she looked like Tyra Banks and more like Rupaul!. When I finally got close to her she looked like a Funking Sea Donkey. Damn these mutha freakin strobe lights! See this is why you got to use your Scouter. If you see a cute chick, you have your Scouter casually walk by her to see if she’s really cute or if it’s those damn strobe lights. It happens so much that we call them strobe light honeys. Hell, the 90’s rap group black sheep even made a song and video about strobe light honeys. And just like the video this strobe light honey stalked me for the whole night. I mean I would go to the bathroom and this chick would follow me and wait outside the door.
So get a Scouter and use him often.
Playa tip #4: Block the cock blocker.
Facts: In every circle of girls there is a cock blocker. She is easy to spot because she is the least attractive and the one holding the purses for the other girls, while they shake their ass on the dance floor. The cock blockers job is to keep guys away from her friends. Common lines said by the cock blocker “No!, she cant leave with you”, “She doesn’t want to dance with you”, “Girls this place sucks lets go”.
Now the best way to block the cock blocker is to use a wingman. A wingman is someone who will take one for the team and keep the cock blocker occupied while the others guys mack it too the cute girls.
The story: It was another fun filled night clubbing with my homies. This time we were in Las Vegas. Sin City!! And we were on the prowl. 10 minutes after we entered a club we see a whole gang of fine honeys. 4 cuties and 1 cock blocker. The wingman for this evening was my homie Lucas. This guy deserves a medal of honor. He went deep into enemy lines and took the cock blocker to play pool for the whole night while the rest of us macked it to the girls.
I swung out and went home with my tail between my legs.
My homie Ty hit jackpot and spent the rest of the evening banging the back out of this cute Latino.
My homie Eli got a chick too but he was so lovesick for his girlfriend that he pretty much just kept her occupied and away from her girls.
But the clown for this evening was my homie Wayne. This guy is usually the mack of the year but tonight he was way to drunk to handle business. The one thing you should never hear coming out of the other bedroom where your homie is banging a chick is. “OH hell no!!”, “That’s it!!”, “Damn, you cant get it up!” This chick was totally clowning my homie. And worst yet, he couldn’t handle his business. After 20 minutes of desperation he lets out a “WHY!!! God why!!!!” and this chick leaves his room. She then walks over to where I’m laying because I’m laughing my ass off. She then says to me “can you hook a sister up, cause you boy couldn’t handle me” it was about this time the wingman comes in the hotel room with the cock blocker. But even if he didn’t, I wouldn’t have messed with that chick. Cause even playas have codes of conduct.
Because Jay the Man, Brutha Fujin, Mushu, e-sister Shamu and my ex ahisma wants it, here's another ATAB story.
* This story occurs when I was a self proclaimed “Playa” (don’t worry I’m not that ignorant and immature anymore)
I’ve been getting a couple of request for some more playa tips. So In this installment of ATAB ill do a couple tips along with an accompanying story.
Playa tip #3: When at a club, bar or party, get a Scouter and use him often.
Story: I was at a club in San Diego. It was my first night there and this was the third club we went to that night. I was tired so I just chilled at the bar. My homies were on the dance flood grinding some chicks so I was totally defenseless. All of the sudden this chick who was on the dance floor points over to me and mouths me to come here. She looked good as hell. She looked like Tyra Banks, plus she was doing stripteases on the dance floor. Then every guy at the bar look over to me as if to say “what the fuck you waiting on”. Me being me I said “shit!, she aint got to tell me twice!” as I did my lil pimp walk to the dance floor.
But something strange was a foot. The closer I got to her, the less she looked like Tyra Banks and more like Rupaul!. When I finally got close to her she looked like a Funking Sea Donkey. Damn these mutha freakin strobe lights! See this is why you got to use your Scouter. If you see a cute chick, you have your Scouter casually walk by her to see if she’s really cute or if it’s those damn strobe lights. It happens so much that we call them strobe light honeys. Hell, the 90’s rap group black sheep even made a song and video about strobe light honeys. And just like the video this strobe light honey stalked me for the whole night. I mean I would go to the bathroom and this chick would follow me and wait outside the door.
So get a Scouter and use him often.
Playa tip #4: Block the cock blocker.
Facts: In every circle of girls there is a cock blocker. She is easy to spot because she is the least attractive and the one holding the purses for the other girls, while they shake their ass on the dance floor. The cock blockers job is to keep guys away from her friends. Common lines said by the cock blocker “No!, she cant leave with you”, “She doesn’t want to dance with you”, “Girls this place sucks lets go”.
Now the best way to block the cock blocker is to use a wingman. A wingman is someone who will take one for the team and keep the cock blocker occupied while the others guys mack it too the cute girls.
The story: It was another fun filled night clubbing with my homies. This time we were in Las Vegas. Sin City!! And we were on the prowl. 10 minutes after we entered a club we see a whole gang of fine honeys. 4 cuties and 1 cock blocker. The wingman for this evening was my homie Lucas. This guy deserves a medal of honor. He went deep into enemy lines and took the cock blocker to play pool for the whole night while the rest of us macked it to the girls.
I swung out and went home with my tail between my legs.
My homie Ty hit jackpot and spent the rest of the evening banging the back out of this cute Latino.
My homie Eli got a chick too but he was so lovesick for his girlfriend that he pretty much just kept her occupied and away from her girls.
But the clown for this evening was my homie Wayne. This guy is usually the mack of the year but tonight he was way to drunk to handle business. The one thing you should never hear coming out of the other bedroom where your homie is banging a chick is. “OH hell no!!”, “That’s it!!”, “Damn, you cant get it up!” This chick was totally clowning my homie. And worst yet, he couldn’t handle his business. After 20 minutes of desperation he lets out a “WHY!!! God why!!!!” and this chick leaves his room. She then walks over to where I’m laying because I’m laughing my ass off. She then says to me “can you hook a sister up, cause you boy couldn’t handle me” it was about this time the wingman comes in the hotel room with the cock blocker. But even if he didn’t, I wouldn’t have messed with that chick. Cause even playas have codes of conduct.