Dating tips

[manrush]

Okay, since people are starting to ask questions, I'm gonna change my original question.

What advice can you guys give to those who are just starting to date (or those who are already in over their heads)

There, better?

[Ceirnian]

When in doubt, mention how large your penis is.

[manrush]

Good idea (sarcasm)

[Life25Karma]

Be yourself.
Don't Sweat Rejection - Keep Moving.

[Decade]

Dont do any pansy ass shit like kiss their hands and such.

Seriously, "nice guy-ness" will fuck you over more than anything else.

Saying "just be yourself" just isnt specific enough, so really, try to talk to her about normal stuff (exclude a lot of no nos to women though like video games and anything that makes you sound immature).

Focus most of the conversation so that shes speaking most of the time, and try to get her to talk more about herself than you talk at all.

Try to be creative with where you take her, movies are too standard now adays for your common girl. Try to take her to a really cool bar/lounge, show her something thats not going to be considered "average" or uninteresting.

Make sure to dress nice in a way that you're not more formal and conservative, but you show you have a sense of fashion (depending on what kind of fashion you have). Chick friends have told me to always be color coordinated (belt matches the shoe color and such, simple shit like that). Groom well (gel if you use it, aftershave [NOT so much you REEK of it], washed up, etc).

Always try to remain calm and relaxed. Nervousness is a major turnoff, confidence can be a fucking aphrodisiac if you do it right (little cockiness is good, arrogance will be your cockblock).

Keep cash always a mystery throughout it. If you dont have a lot, make it look extravagent anyway (if that shirt LOOKS expensive, it'll look good. Or if that drink looks really exotic and inviting, it'll LOOK expensive...just keep in mind they usually ARE). Some of the biggest masters of dating I've heard of find ways to make dates look REALLY expensive and extravagant (when they date women who they know will actually be impressed by that...which is most women in at least some form anyway), but really dont spend anywhere NEAR as much as they make it look like they do (cheapskates). This is of course, if you're looking for more ass than relationships.

I could probably think of more, but to tired at the moment.

[Life25Karma]

Dont do any pansy ass shit like kiss their hands and such.

Seriously, "nice guy-ness" will fuck you over more than anything else.

Saying "just be yourself" just isnt specific enough, so really, try to talk to her about normal stuff (exclude a lot of no nos to women though like video games and anything that makes you sound immature).

Focus most of the conversation so that shes speaking most of the time, and try to get her to talk more about herself than you talk at all.

Try to be creative with where you take her, movies are too standard now adays for your common girl. Try to take her to a really cool bar/lounge, show her something thats not going to be considered "average" or uninteresting.

Make sure to dress nice in a way that you're not more formal and conservative, but you show you have a sense of fashion (depending on what kind of fashion you have). Chick friends have told me to always be color coordinated (belt matches the shoe color and such, simple shit like that). Groom well (gel if you use it, aftershave [NOT so much you REEK of it], washed up, etc).

Always try to remain calm and relaxed. Nervousness is a major turnoff, confidence can be a fucking aphrodisiac if you do it right (little cockiness is good, arrogance will be your cockblock).

Keep cash always a mystery throughout it. If you dont have a lot, make it look extravagent anyway (if that shirt LOOKS expensive, it'll look good. Or if that drink looks really exotic and inviting, it'll LOOK expensive...just keep in mind they usually ARE). Some of the biggest masters of dating I've heard of find ways to make dates look REALLY expensive and extravagant (when they date women who they know will actually be impressed by that...which is most women in at least some form anyway), but really dont spend anywhere NEAR as much as they make it look like they do (cheapskates). This is of course, if you're looking for more ass than relationships.

I could probably think of more, but to tired at the moment.


If he is going for ass, then he should just cut out the middle shit, look fly, and keep it simple. *Shrugs*

[Ceirnian]

This thread is real? Didn't expect anyone to respond to it seriously.

[Decade]

If he is going for ass, then he should just cut out the middle shit, look fly, and keep it simple. *Shrugs*

I believe this may help you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHkHrdgDjNY

[Firefly]

Try to be creative with where you take her, movies are too standard now adays for your common girl. Try to take her to a really cool bar/lounge, show her something thats not going to be considered "average" or uninteresting.



My inner "common girl" screams at me. I'm a common girl, and I happen to like going to the movies. If you're buying her tons of drinks, I'd say she's more "High Maintenance" :watson:

Then again, I'm the type that would encourage video game discussion, but that's just me....

[manrush]

This thread is real? Didn't expect anyone to respond to it seriously.


Yes, this is a real thread.

[manrush]

If he is going for ass, then he should just cut out the middle shit, look fly, and keep it simple. *Shrugs*

I'm not looking for ass.

[Jetsetlemming]

Don't you ever, but ever, be afraid or timid. Be creative. Get over failures quickly, by starting over with someone new. Always enjoy yourself and strive for someone you feel natural with and have fun around and like. Don't go after a girl for looks alone, know what kind of person you're persuing.

[Life25Karma]

I believe this may help you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHkHrdgDjNY


I love the Boondocks ^^(got all the comic strip books)
but uh that didn't help much heh..

All jokes aside though - dressing fly, etc..its all in how you carry yourself.

[manrush]

I'm amazed. These are actually great tips.

[Azrael]

If you are in a relationship, FUCKING TRUST your partner. Especially if they're doing nothing to merit distrust.

[Jay]

Dating tips from The Mercurial Leader, Maniakal-Rushin. You should feel blessed - that doesn't happen every single day.

[manrush]

Dating tips from The Mercurial Leader, Maniakal-Rushin. You should feel blessed - that doesn't happen every single day.

That's true. And I am very honoured to get dating tips from our dear leader.

[manrush]

If you are in a relationship, FUCKING TRUST your partner. Especially if they're doing nothing to merit distrust.

I'm sure none of my partners will turn out to be like your infamous Ex. But I may just be naive about that.

[Azrael]

^The current one has trust issues with me. =/

----------------

While the movie date isn't the worst thing you can do, it's pretty low down on my list of things I'd do in the initial dating stages. You pretty much just sit there for 2 hours with little to no interaction. And if the movie isn't that good, it can cast a slight shadow over the overall date. ...I'm not a big fan of dinner, either.

Coffee at a cafe, a walk through a park, taking in jazz night at the local pub - things that allow you to interact and have fun without depending on the venue. I also have this hang-up about not wanting to pay for my dates (at first at least), so this is a nice way around that. Bowling is also great if you're willing to fork out the extra few dollars for a game or two.

Initial dates shouldn't last forever. If things are going awesomely, then sure, but otherwise do your thing and say see you next time.

[manrush]

^The current one has trust issues with me. =/

----------------

While the movie date isn't the worst thing you can do, it's pretty low down on my list of things I'd do in the initial dating stages. You pretty much just sit there for 2 hours with little to no interaction. And if the movie isn't that good, it can cast a slight shadow over the overall date. ...I'm not a big fan of dinner, either.

Coffee at a cafe, a walk through a park, taking in jazz night at the local pub - things that allow you to interact and have fun without depending on the venue. I also have this hang-up about not wanting to pay for my dates (at first at least), so this is a nice way around that. Bowling is also great if you're willing to fork out the extra few dollars for a game or two.

Initial dates shouldn't last forever. If things are going awesomely, then sure, but otherwise do your thing and say see you next time.

These are also great ideas. A college town like Amherst is full of such venues, so I should have little problem taking care of that part.

[Life25Karma]

I'm sure none of my partners will turn out to be like your infamous Ex. But I may just be naive about that.

The boss is right.

Trust is hella important.

Just do your thing, get to know each other - and see what happens.
Oh yeah whatever ya do..always stay mello...avoid "cloud 9" highs(another way of saying TAKE IT SLOW)

[Jay]

While the movie date isn't the worst thing you can do, it's pretty low down on my list of things I'd do in the initial dating stages. You pretty much just sit there for 2 hours with little to no interaction. And if the movie isn't that good, it can cast a slight shadow over the overall date.

But at the same time, you could also get out of the movie, walk down the street and suddenly burst into laughter at the same time and spend the rest of the night bagging out the movie while laughing with eachother.

And that's a good thing.

[Fermented Yeast Paste]

Yeah, I agree with not recommending that you go to the movies for a date (unless you're in an established relationship). First dates and such she be first and foremost about getting to know each other. Going out for a nice dinner isn't necessary for this either.

Dont do any pansy ass shit like kiss their hands and such.

Seriously, "nice guy-ness" will fuck you over more than anything else.
Kissing the hand is being lame, it's not being a nice guy.

That said, just be patient and draw her in with your own charisma.

Then rape her.

[Hikoku-Y]

This is obvious, but it's also something that I think a lot of college-age guys, especially on the younger end, tend to overlook: pursue women you would want to spend time with even if you weren't physically attracted to them. That way even if they're not interested in you, you might make a new friend, maybe a good one. You also won't feel like you've wasted your time if a date ends and it's clear you're not going anywhere romantically. And if the girl is interested, you're laying the foundation for a successful relationship, not one that's going to end a few months down the road once sex begins to lose its power as the sole glue keeping you two together. The key is just to be honest with yourself—which can certainly be difficult at times—about why you want to spend time with the girl. If sex or the promise of sex dominates all other reasons, things probably won't work out for very long.

Of course, this advice is all colored by the fact that I'm only interested in serious relationships. If you're just looking for something casual, which seems to work well for a lot of people (and has been an umitigated disaster for me in the past), feel free to disregard everything I just wrote.

Edit: Oh, and one more thing about being a "nice guy." The idea that nice guys are unattractive is total horseshit. The so-called "nice guy" who doesn't have any success with women is more likely than not just a passive-aggressive, emotionally-stunted pushover too scared to make his feelings known to those women he wants to be with. You want to be friendly, kind, and sensitive, as long as that's coupled with self-confidence and honesty. The so-called "nice guy" will be afraid to challenge a woman when she says something he finds disagreeable; a real nice guy won't hesitate to challenge her, but he'll do so with sincerity and tact.

[Jay]

^ This man puts forth excellent points. Everybody look at his posts and fucking take notes.

[Psychochink]

Seriously, "nice guy-ness" will fuck you over more than anything else.

Incorrect (at least in vernacular, if not intent). Women like nice guys. The thing that gets most men is that while they think they’re being a ‘nice guy’ they are in fact being a doormat and/or pussy.

Deferring to her opinion constantly, continuous compliments, wishy-washy opinions, etc. are not being a nice guy, but they are the types of behaviour that most self-proclaimed ‘nice guys’ engage in while wondering why women aren’t attracted to them.

As said:

Always try to remain calm and relaxed. Nervousness is a major turnoff, confidence can be a fucking aphrodisiac if you do it right (little cockiness is good, arrogance will be your cockblock).

Confidence is the key. Most men find cockiness the easiest form of confidence, but it is by no means the be-all-and-end-all. Confidence is why women like the ‘bad boy’. Yes, in most of those cases the confidence is paired with a cocky/arrogant attitude, but those latter traits aren’t what make him attractive.

Most women’s idea of the perfect man is somebody who is at one and the same time both ‘nice’ and confident/manly. It hits all the attractors at once. That man will always beat out both the stereotypical ‘nice guy’ and the ‘bad boy’.



Focus most of the conversation so that shes speaking most of the time…

Try to be creative with where you take her…

Make sure to dress nice in a way that you're not more formal and conservative, but you show you have a sense of fashion (depending on what kind of fashion you have)…

Keep cash always a mystery throughout it...

All (except the last) good advice. Do keep in mind, however:
- Have opinions of your own, and disagree with her if that’s what you think.
- Venue is much less important than how you carry yourself.
- Dress in a way that you are comfortable with, as with everything else confidence is key and dress in a way that makes you feel confident.

Cash is irrelevant. She’s dating you, not your wallet. If money’s a serious issue for her, she’s not worth your time. Seriously, this is a crutch – and it doesn’t work.

If you are in a relationship, FUCKING TRUST your partner. Especially if they're doing nothing to merit distrust.

Definitely. Quite apart from the fact that it’s stupid, paranoia makes you look weak, which particularly in the early stages of a relationship will just drive her away.

Kissing the hand is being lame, it's not being a nice guy.

Kissing the hand is only lame if you can't pull it off. The key to this - and any other 'cheesy' move - is sincerity. You have to be absolutely, 100%, iron-clad believable, or you will look like an idiot.

Most guys will be a little bit embarassed by the act of kissing a woman's hand, which will ruin the effect. But take our man James Bond for example. He gets away with stuff that would make most men look like tools - tuxedos, martinis, hand-kissing, etc. But he pulls it off because he throws himself 100% into it.

While I wouldn’t recommend going anywhere near that far, a well-timed hand kiss combined with the right type of eye contact has the potential to make panties wetter than a full-on 'pash and grope'. Trust me on this.

I always walk into a date with the attitude of, "By the end of the night, you will be fantasizing about me in your bed." It works.

Edit: I type too slowly

Whole post

Beat me to it.

[Angelyne]

I can't knock the movie date if it's done creatively. The first date I had with my current partner was a movie date to a foreign film--the unusual invitation really impressed me and made me want to get to know him more.

Edit: Oh, and one more thing about being a "nice guy." The idea that nice guys are unattractive is total horseshit. The so-called "nice guy" who doesn't have any success with women is more likely than not just a passive-aggressive, emotionally-stunted pushover too scared to make his feelings known to those women he wants to be with. You want to be friendly, kind, and sensitive, as long as that's coupled with self-confidence and honesty. The so-called "nice guy" will be afraid to challenge a woman when she says something he finds disagreeable; a real nice guy won't hesitate to challenge her, but he'll do so with sincerity and tact.

Thank you! I came here to say the same thing. If there's one thing I have to say about dating and relationships is that confidence is SEXY. Be confident or at least learn how to fake it.

[Pierrot le Fou]

A quick question. I may be starting dating soon (soon being when I come back to college as a Junior). Do you guys have any dating tips?
Yes -- start early and date often.

Since you're 0/2, take PsychoChink's advice and the Hikoyoko or whatnot advice, realize that you'll fuck it up most likely the first half-dozen times, and hop right back up on the horse.

Don't try to turn it into some giant production, because it isn't. Don't dress up in PJs or anything, but there's no need to overthink it. You're going out to learn more about her and have fun. So do that. It doesn't need to be expensive or otherwise silly. A picnic in the park, or a walk and a cup of coffee are not negative, and they're cheap and fun. Unless you don't think they're fun, then don't do it.

Doing something you dislike for a date is rather silly much of the time -- if you don't like jazz clubs, don't go to a jazz club. Don't put effort into impressing her the way you think she'll be impressed, put effort into doing something you enjoy that you think she will enjoy too, because sweet Jesus it'll be boring otherwise.

And for fuck's sake, relax.

[Plekto]

A few basics I learned: (U.S. mostly - YMMV in Japan or elsewhere)

Note - this doesn't mean being a doormat/wimp.

- Clean. Not pimp-o-tastic aftershave and the rest screaming machismo, but clean and presentable. She spent half an hour getting ready, you should do at least the same. And don't forget things like poishing your shoes if it's a formal/evening event.(Weddings are amazing places to hook up, for instance...)

- 90% of the time the women expect/hope to be approached and asked out, even if they won't actually admit it. (I think everyone is flattered by being asked, actually) They are rather matter of fact about it, as well, at least in their mind. Ie - "if he likes me, he should just come out and ask me". Son't be an ass, though - just if you really are attracted to a person, politely ask and/or make your move. The worst they can say is no, afterall.(yes rejection sucks, but being single sucks MORE)

- If it's a real date(tm), it's amazing what a few small things will do. Basically treat her like it's her birthday and she has to do nothing except have a good time.(unless she's made it clear that she's cool with going "dutch"). The key here is act, no really believe that the only thing on your mind for the day/evening is her. Because it really should be. Afterall, given statistics, there's about a 1 in 20 chance you're going to get married or have a long-term relationship. So it really is a test-drive from the first moments. Taking it seriously is huge for most women. "He only has eyes for me" is a cardinal rule for every woman I've ever known. Of course, it can mean being a bit picky about who you ask(always try to go UP the food chain as it were), which is fine. Ie - if the woman is "odh lord, how did I manage to find her?" in your eyes, it's ten times easier to stay focused.

- Flowers, as quaint as they are, tend to work well. Not a big bunch, either - just a few every now and then.

- My top three places to go on dates:
A: Hiking. Plenty of time to talk and hang out and such. Helping each other over rocks and small obstacles and so on is always a good bonding experience. And nature tends to put people at ease.
B: Beach. Obvious but works. *note - eyes forward, soldier! Half of this is actually showing her that you don't give a rats ass about the hot women there - loads of possible points but also a bit of a potential hazzard to watch out for)
C: Just walking around shopping or whatnot. If your area has a boardwalk or simmilar area, this is the place I mean :) Let her decide what to do, of course.(note - can be pricey at times, though there are plenty of places to see) Here in Los Angeles, it could mean a major museum, or a trip over to Catalina Island to tour the area(note - this covers all three at once!), or somrthing simmialr(J-Town, some other thing of interest)

Note how these aren't the typical movie or club. Higher class women don't go there, to be honest, except for weddings, parties, and so on. The goal is quiet time together. And they all have outdoors in common. A Movie or club is a pefect *second* date, though.

Most of the rest Hikoku beat me to. Oh, and for goodness sake, call. Better, yet, don't call and show up in person or write a letter thanking her for the date.(of course, not being stalker-ish about it, naturally. Email and text messaging is strictly out. (gotta love that celebrity breakup a few months ago where she text messaged him that she wanted a divorce - that's SO cold)

Lastly - there are millions of potential women. You only need one. This is a central philosophy of mine in life, actually. Odds are meaningless. I only need one success, be it in love, business, finding a place to live, or whatever. So instead of worrying about finding the perfect person/etc, just get out and date with the idea of finding something that can work.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Note that if you hate beaches, hiking, or shopping, this is probably not the plan for you. Also bear in mind that if you're going shopping, but you're both poor college students, it's an excercise in silliness.

Furthermore, if you somehow manage to get in her pants, wear a damned condom.

[Plekto]

Well, surely that much is true. Raincoats always. ;) It's the true "American Express" - Don't leave home without it.

Yeah, being poor is rough, but honestly, that's why something outdoors will always work or be of interest to her. And it can really save money while looking cool.(unless she's the clubbing type, in which case, do what she wants).

As far as money goes, though - get a second job or whatever. Unless you are a confirmed bachelor, nothing in your entire life will be more critical than dating(at least doing it well that is), so if it takes some extra work or sweat to not be dirt poor for dating purposes, so be it. I did very well in college with a normal old Buick, for instance. I spent my money on above average clothes(business casual) for everyday use and dating. Car and video games and the rest was all put on hold until I made more money or found a girlfriend.

Edit: that said, make sure your car isn't dirty or breaking down. ;)

Lastly - every single woman that I've ever known who was marriage or relationship worthy never would have considered sex until at least a few weeks into the dating(sex being that you're on the "real" ladder and potential long-term to most women). So don't expect anything from her right off, though you might be pleasantly surprized. Realize that most women take a little while to open up, despite what Hollywood and the Net and your friends might tell you. Then again, if she's "the one", what's a few weeks when you have years together potentially?

[Psychochink]

Lastly - every single woman that I've ever known who was marriage or relationship worthy never would have considered sex until at least a few weeks into the dating(sex being that you're on the "real" ladder and potential long-term to most women). So don't expect anything from her right off, though you might be pleasantly surprized. Realize that most women take a little while to open up, despite what Hollywood and the Net and your friends might tell you.

I will hasten to add, that just because I always walk in expecting her to want me by the end of the night, I also don't expect to get laid. It's more about the attitude.

Honestly, I respect a woman more if she's able to resist my undeniable charms for a little while. [/ego trip] What can I say, I love the hunt. Learn to love the hunt too, and dating can be a hell of a lot of fun.

[Jay]

^ Couldn't have put that one better myself.

And I don't really care to try.

Because I know I'll fail miserably.

:D

[Pierrot le Fou]

You don't like the hunt. You like the sex. The hunt is just your version of foreplay (God knows you bums suck in the sack).

[Jay]

Actually, I like the hunt just as much to be honest. Life's not all about sex - some intellectual conversation (yes, I do manage that from time to time, I know, shocking, right? :D) can actually be the best part of an evening.

[koku]

*Who cares*

[Masa the Masta]

1. Two in the pink, one in the stink.
2. Always carry a rubber even when you don't think you need one, and make sure it's always fresh.
3. Opposites attract is bullshit. Try to look for people within similar wavelengths.
4. Be yourself, but since you have a person of the opposite sex that likes you, take the time to make yourself a better person: she'll fuck you harder for the extra effort, be it better good grooming, dressing good once in awhile when you're with her, etc.
5. Inside jokes between you and her is a good win. Don't "force" an inside joke, let it come about naturally.
6. Physical touch is good. Builds trust and intimacy.

[Civilization Phrase III]

If you are in a relationship, FUCKING TRUST your partner. Especially if they're doing nothing to merit distrust.
I second this 100%.

Mistake I made last time. And right now I'm trying to fix it. And it sucks.

[ParryDat]

Dont do any pansy ass shit like kiss their hands and such.

Seriously, "nice guy-ness" will fuck you over more than anything else.

Saying "just be yourself" just isnt specific enough, so really, try to talk to her about normal stuff (exclude a lot of no nos to women though like video games and anything that makes you sound immature).

Focus most of the conversation so that shes speaking most of the time, and try to get her to talk more about herself than you talk at all.

Try to be creative with where you take her, movies are too standard now adays for your common girl. Try to take her to a really cool bar/lounge, show her something thats not going to be considered "average" or uninteresting.

Make sure to dress nice in a way that you're not more formal and conservative, but you show you have a sense of fashion (depending on what kind of fashion you have). Chick friends have told me to always be color coordinated (belt matches the shoe color and such, simple shit like that). Groom well (gel if you use it, aftershave [NOT so much you REEK of it], washed up, etc).

Always try to remain calm and relaxed. Nervousness is a major turnoff, confidence can be a fucking aphrodisiac if you do it right (little cockiness is good, arrogance will be your cockblock).

Keep cash always a mystery throughout it. If you dont have a lot, make it look extravagent anyway (if that shirt LOOKS expensive, it'll look good. Or if that drink looks really exotic and inviting, it'll LOOK expensive...just keep in mind they usually ARE). Some of the biggest masters of dating I've heard of find ways to make dates look REALLY expensive and extravagant (when they date women who they know will actually be impressed by that...which is most women in at least some form anyway), but really dont spend anywhere NEAR as much as they make it look like they do (cheapskates). This is of course, if you're looking for more ass than relationships.

I could probably think of more, but to tired at the moment.

Nice Tips :clap:

[Micah the Great]

http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=1260
The man himself.

[Jay]

He's a cock apparently, but he's dead right.

[Televisions_Nick]

Best tip:
Never trust a big butt and a smile.
THAT girl... is poison.

[Jay]

:rofl:

[Decade]

Incorrect (at least in vernacular, if not intent). Women like nice guys. The thing that gets most men is that while they think they’re being a ‘nice guy’ they are in fact being a doormat and/or pussy.

Deferring to her opinion constantly, continuous compliments, wishy-washy opinions, etc. are not being a nice guy, but they are the types of behaviour that most self-proclaimed ‘nice guys’ engage in while wondering why women aren’t attracted to them.
That's what I mean by nice-guy-ness.

Nice-guy-ness = pussy (no, not what you want, what you are).

Since you're 0/2, take PsychoChink's advice and the Hikoyoko or whatnot advice, realize that you'll fuck it up most likely the first half-dozen times, and hop right back up on the horse.
^
THIS is the one piece of advice that should have been said up front and never thought to mention.

He's right

Fuck up. A LOT. Laugh about it, move on. You don't learn half as much shit about dating if you just go on a date the first time and just luck out.

My best friend from back home, who literally had a different chick every week in high school and college, used the best metaphor to help me figure shit out back then:

"Babe Ruth is famous for all the homeruns he had, but do you also know he had the record for striking out the most? Same thing with women, you gotta flunk a LOT to finally score a good one."



And for fuck's sake, relax.
Can anyone else see PLF prepping this guy for the date, while violently shaking him and yelling this at him?

"FOR FUCKS SAKE, RELAX! REELLLLAAAXXX"

:rofl:

I'm bored at work, and I have a hyperactive imagination.

[Life25Karma]

This is obvious, but it's also something that I think a lot of college-age guys, especially on the younger end, tend to overlook: pursue women you would want to spend time with even if you weren't physically attracted to them. That way even if they're not interested in you, you might make a new friend, maybe a good one. You also won't feel like you've wasted your time if a date ends and it's clear you're not going anywhere romantically. And if the girl is interested, you're laying the foundation for a successful relationship, not one that's going to end a few months down the road once sex begins to lose its power as the sole glue keeping you two together. The key is just to be honest with yourself—which can certainly be difficult at times—about why you want to spend time with the girl. If sex or the promise of sex dominates all other reasons, things probably won't work out for very long.

Of course, this advice is all colored by the fact that I'm only interested in serious relationships. If you're just looking for something casual, which seems to work well for a lot of people (and has been an umitigated disaster for me in the past), feel free to disregard everything I just wrote.

Edit: Oh, and one more thing about being a "nice guy." The idea that nice guys are unattractive is total horseshit. The so-called "nice guy" who doesn't have any success with women is more likely than not just a passive-aggressive, emotionally-stunted pushover too scared to make his feelings known to those women he wants to be with. You want to be friendly, kind, and sensitive, as long as that's coupled with self-confidence and honesty. The so-called "nice guy" will be afraid to challenge a woman when she says something he finds disagreeable; a real nice guy won't hesitate to challenge her, but he'll do so with sincerity and tact.

Genuine advice right here.

Nothing wrong with being a nice guy, just don't be a :ziplip:

[Masa the Masta]

Tucker Max is good..but he's not that good. :)

[Jay]

He gets the job done mate, and that's all any gamer can ask.

[Masa the Masta]

Yeah, true.

I just feel despite his confidence, there's guys equally stratospherically confident, but with social interaction hax.

[Roxie]

: Oh, and one more thing about being a "nice guy."
Hot and makes great posts?
Listen to this guy fellas, he's got his on head on right.

And I love movies too, but I agree, make it creative--a little off beat.
Comedies are always a great choice...

[Decade]

- Flowers, as quaint as they are, tend to work well. Not a big bunch, either - just a few every now and then.

I'd file this under nice-guy-ness, especially on a first date.


I think it's also important to actually point out that where you take the chick on the first date also depends on the chick herself.

You wouldn't take a high-maintance chick hiking anymore than you'd take a rather tom-boyish chick to a high class restaurant and be dressed up like you're Bond. Personalize shit. When you don't know how to personalize shit per girl, have a standard routine set up but mix up the order with each girl you use it on, that way it's slightly different each time at least.

I'll throw in the nice-guy-ness under personalization under very extreme cases. Yea, there are some women out there really who are really conservative on their dating styles, but the average American woman I've seen usually gets turned off on this shit.

Just try not to act like a pussy.

I'll also withdrawl my idea on cash, simply because, as I said, some dating gurus I've seen in college (douchebags) try to play that up as much as possible, but thats because they're only after ass or cheap fluzys they can ditch when they get tired of em.

I didnt want to admit it, but I actually have almost the same attitude most guys on here have where I prefer not to cough up a boatload of cash on something I'm not even sure is going to actually work yet.

Plus, Riley Freeman is fucking right.

[Jay]

Yeah, true.

I just feel despite his confidence, there's guys equally stratospherically confident, but with social interaction hax.

And he said that himself, in the post that the guy linked.

[Roxie]

I didnt want to admit it, but I actually have almost the same attitude most guys on here have where I prefer not to cough up a boatload of cash on something I'm not even sure is going to actually work yet.

Plus, Riley Freeman is fucking right.
Ahw, now you and I will never be :knockout:

[Decade]

I gave up on you a while ago Roxie. It's why I been so depressed lately

:gloomy:

[Jetsetlemming]

I got game. :watson:
Dawgs.
>_>

[Jay]

We all got game dawg!

[Hikoku-Y]

I'd file this under nice-guy-ness, especially on a first date.

I guess you could call that "nice-guy-ness" in that it may be something that unsuccessful, self-proclaimed "nice guys" do, but to me buying flowers for someone on the first date is just weird. And also kind of incovenient, because then your date has to hold on to the flower(s) for the whole date. I mean, I definitely understand what you're referencing with "nice guy," but I think it's such a misnomer that we might be better using different terminology entirely, like "extremely timid and possibly creepy passive-agressive dude." OK, I admit that doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well.

But yeah, learning from your mistakes and being comfortable with the fact that you're going to make mistakes is a huge part of this. I've done some pretty ridiculous shit in the past, and I won't be surprised if some of the stuff I've done recently looks ridiculous to me five years down the road. That's just the nature of life.

[Plekto]

Note that I said at the top "don't be a "nice guy"/wimp." You can do nice guy(tm) things and NOT be one if you can pull it off. But you gotta actually believe it/it not be an act, so most of those things are later in the relationship for most men.

Flowers are effective *occasionally* to help if you are dating/in a relationship. The perfect setup is give her some at her place and she can then put them in a vase or something before you leave.

I give my GF flowers maybe a few times a year(when I have one longer than a few months that is - heh). The trick is to, like most things in relationships, to make it a bit random and just because(as opposed to obligatory relationship maintainence day(Valentines)."

Of course, she's the boss if she wants to be (grin). I just like outdoor activities because it's not passive or subdued. If you both are in good shape, she's going to be checking you out as much as you are her.

And, yes, physically fit, stronger, and more secure men DO get better results. It's not very P.C., or very fair, but natural selection is definitely as real today as it ever was. So a little time at the gym really will pay off - trust me on this.(or most any physical activity that keeps you fit)

Priority in life while young:
1: School
2: Dating(5-10% below school)
3-999: somewhere in the hardly worth bothering about category.

You spend hundreds, no, thousands of hours working your ass off in College. Dating should be just as serious if you are doing it right. So that means a lot of tries and a lot of failures and yes, exercise, some money(not rich, but not broke either), and so on.

[Candyvan Stan]

If it's a real date(tm), it's amazing what a few small things will do. Basically treat her like it's her birthday and she has to do nothing except have a good time.(unless she's made it clear that she's cool with going "dutch").


Ask most OP9 women, going Dutch is like the best thing you could possibly do.

[Masa the Masta]

:rofl:

Michael wins an internet.

[manrush]

Note that if you hate beaches, hiking, or shopping, this is probably not the plan for you. Also bear in mind that if you're going shopping, but you're both poor college students, it's an excercise in silliness.

Furthermore, if you somehow manage to get in her pants, wear a damned condom.


I'm not planning on doing that.

[manrush]

1. Two in the pink, one in the stink.
2. Always carry a rubber even when you don't think you need one, and make sure it's always fresh.
3. Opposites attract is bullshit. Try to look for people within similar wavelengths.
4. Be yourself, but since you have a person of the opposite sex that likes you, take the time to make yourself a better person: she'll fuck you harder for the extra effort, be it better good grooming, dressing good once in awhile when you're with her, etc.
5. Inside jokes between you and her is a good win. Don't "force" an inside joke, let it come about naturally.
6. Physical touch is good. Builds trust and intimacy.

1. Only if everything down there is clean :rofl:

2. Once again, I'm not planning on having sex with the person/people that I dare.

3. That's some good advice to ponder

4. I'll do what I can to make the girl's date enjoyable

5. How in the hell does someone pull off an inside joke during a date? Do you speak from experience, Masa?

6. Once I get over my awkwardness, I'll try that.

[manrush]

Don't you ever, but ever, be afraid or timid. Be creative. Get over failures quickly, by starting over with someone new. Always enjoy yourself and strive for someone you feel natural with and have fun around and like. Don't go after a girl for looks alone, know what kind of person you're persuing.


Thanks, Lemming. By the way, that last part of what he said goes for every guy.

[manrush]

Yeah, I agree with not recommending that you go to the movies for a date (unless you're in an established relationship). First dates and such she be first and foremost about getting to know each other. Going out for a nice dinner isn't necessary for this either.


Kissing the hand is being lame, it's not being a nice guy.

That said, just be patient and draw her in with your own charisma.

Then rape her.


Maybe in that's okay in Japan. But not here :rofl:

[manrush]

This is obvious, but it's also something that I think a lot of college-age guys, especially on the younger end, tend to overlook: pursue women you would want to spend time with even if you weren't physically attracted to them. That way even if they're not interested in you, you might make a new friend, maybe a good one. You also won't feel like you've wasted your time if a date ends and it's clear you're not going anywhere romantically. And if the girl is interested, you're laying the foundation for a successful relationship, not one that's going to end a few months down the road once sex begins to lose its power as the sole glue keeping you two together. The key is just to be honest with yourself—which can certainly be difficult at times—about why you want to spend time with the girl. If sex or the promise of sex dominates all other reasons, things probably won't work out for very long.

Of course, this advice is all colored by the fact that I'm only interested in serious relationships. If you're just looking for something casual, which seems to work well for a lot of people (and has been an umitigated disaster for me in the past), feel free to disregard everything I just wrote.

Edit: Oh, and one more thing about being a "nice guy." The idea that nice guys are unattractive is total horseshit. The so-called "nice guy" who doesn't have any success with women is more likely than not just a passive-aggressive, emotionally-stunted pushover too scared to make his feelings known to those women he wants to be with. You want to be friendly, kind, and sensitive, as long as that's coupled with self-confidence and honesty. The so-called "nice guy" will be afraid to challenge a woman when she says something he finds disagreeable; a real nice guy won't hesitate to challenge her, but he'll do so with sincerity and tact.


Yes!!! This is exactly the advice that every guy should heed.

[manrush]

A few basics I learned: (U.S. mostly - YMMV in Japan or elsewhere)

Note - this doesn't mean being a doormat/wimp.

- Clean. Not pimp-o-tastic aftershave and the rest screaming machismo, but clean and presentable. She spent half an hour getting ready, you should do at least the same. And don't forget things like poishing your shoes if it's a formal/evening event.(Weddings are amazing places to hook up, for instance...)

- 90% of the time the women expect/hope to be approached and asked out, even if they won't actually admit it. (I think everyone is flattered by being asked, actually) They are rather matter of fact about it, as well, at least in their mind. Ie - "if he likes me, he should just come out and ask me". Son't be an ass, though - just if you really are attracted to a person, politely ask and/or make your move. The worst they can say is no, afterall.(yes rejection sucks, but being single sucks MORE)

- If it's a real date(tm), it's amazing what a few small things will do. Basically treat her like it's her birthday and she has to do nothing except have a good time.(unless she's made it clear that she's cool with going "dutch"). The key here is act, no really believe that the only thing on your mind for the day/evening is her. Because it really should be. Afterall, given statistics, there's about a 1 in 20 chance you're going to get married or have a long-term relationship. So it really is a test-drive from the first moments. Taking it seriously is huge for most women. "He only has eyes for me" is a cardinal rule for every woman I've ever known. Of course, it can mean being a bit picky about who you ask(always try to go UP the food chain as it were), which is fine. Ie - if the woman is "odh lord, how did I manage to find her?" in your eyes, it's ten times easier to stay focused.

- Flowers, as quaint as they are, tend to work well. Not a big bunch, either - just a few every now and then.

- My top three places to go on dates:
A: Hiking. Plenty of time to talk and hang out and such. Helping each other over rocks and small obstacles and so on is always a good bonding experience. And nature tends to put people at ease.
B: Beach. Obvious but works. *note - eyes forward, soldier! Half of this is actually showing her that you don't give a rats ass about the hot women there - loads of possible points but also a bit of a potential hazzard to watch out for)
C: Just walking around shopping or whatnot. If your area has a boardwalk or simmilar area, this is the place I mean :) Let her decide what to do, of course.(note - can be pricey at times, though there are plenty of places to see) Here in Los Angeles, it could mean a major museum, or a trip over to Catalina Island to tour the area(note - this covers all three at once!), or somrthing simmialr(J-Town, some other thing of interest)

Note how these aren't the typical movie or club. Higher class women don't go there, to be honest, except for weddings, parties, and so on. The goal is quiet time together. And they all have outdoors in common. A Movie or club is a pefect *second* date, though.

Most of the rest Hikoku beat me to. Oh, and for goodness sake, call. Better, yet, don't call and show up in person or write a letter thanking her for the date.(of course, not being stalker-ish about it, naturally. Email and text messaging is strictly out. (gotta love that celebrity breakup a few months ago where she text messaged him that she wanted a divorce - that's SO cold)

Lastly - there are millions of potential women. You only need one. This is a central philosophy of mine in life, actually. Odds are meaningless. I only need one success, be it in love, business, finding a place to live, or whatever. So instead of worrying about finding the perfect person/etc, just get out and date with the idea of finding something that can work.


Good advice about what to do on a first date and second date. I love hiking, and the Pioneer Valley has good hiking spots, so I should have no difficulty there. And showing up in person or writing a thank-you letter, that's pretty creative.

[manrush]

That's what I mean by nice-guy-ness.

Nice-guy-ness = pussy (no, not what you want, what you are).


^
THIS is the one piece of advice that should have been said up front and never thought to mention.

He's right

Fuck up. A LOT. Laugh about it, move on. You don't learn half as much shit about dating if you just go on a date the first time and just luck out.

My best friend from back home, who literally had a different chick every week in high school and college, used the best metaphor to help me figure shit out back then:

"Babe Ruth is famous for all the homeruns he had, but do you also know he had the record for striking out the most? Same thing with women, you gotta flunk a LOT to finally score a good one."



Can anyone else see PLF prepping this guy for the date, while violently shaking him and yelling this at him?

"FOR FUCKS SAKE, RELAX! REELLLLAAAXXX"

:rofl:

I'm bored at work, and I have a hyperactive imagination.


Ironically enough, I'm sure one of my friends will be doing that exact thing to me before my date.

[manrush]

I'm sorry for the massive over-posting. Wait, no, I'm not sorry. But anyways, the reason I made this post was mostly for people to discuss dating and give each other helpful hints/tips.

[Plekto]

Good advice about what to do on a first date and second date. I love hiking, and the Pioneer Valley has good hiking spots, so I should have no difficulty there. And showing up in person or writing a thank-you letter, that's pretty creative.

That's one of my tricks in life in business and relationships. Always do anything you can do over the phone in person if at all possible, and if not, send a real letter. The personal touch is huge, even now in the age of computers and electronics. A lot of young people who never lived without computers never learned this, actually.(more like were never taught)

It's also a sure-fire way to get a second date. :) If I like a girl, I call her the next day without fail or do the letter/in person if we say, take classes together.(then's the time for a small gift - and giving it to her in class also has a nice effect) This whole "will she call me - oh I shouldn't look so anxious/desperate..." - it's BS. You like... you call... You get second date. And maybe it leads to something fantastic...

Oh, one last thing... Never forget this. Everything IS truly fair in love - so if you don't see a wedding ring, she's still available. I've taken girls away from committed relationships twice in my life by giving them a better offer and being really persistent. "Dating someone" who hasn't given her a ring yet is only some slacker who's not really serious and she's merely waiting(most often in the U.S. - waiting for him to change/grow up more/get over his fear of commitment.

My cousin Sharon met her husband at EHarmony(could have been any other site) - the thing is, they both loved each other and got married THREE MONTHS later. That's the real thing - he asked her two months after they met - he wasted zero time because he was 110% serious. So if she's waiting forever for her boyfriend to commit, she's still available.

[Life25Karma]

That's one of my tricks in life in business and relationships. Always do anything you can do over the phone in person if at all possible, and if not, send a real letter. The personal touch is huge, even now in the age of computers and electronics. A lot of young people who never lived without computers never learned this, actually.(more like were never taught)

It's also a sure-fire way to get a second date. :) If I like a girl, I call her the next day without fail or do the letter/in person if we say, take classes together.(then's the time for a small gift - and giving it to her in class also has a nice effect) This whole "will she call me - oh I shouldn't look so anxious/desperate..." - it's BS. You like... you call... You get second date. And maybe it leads to something fantastic...

Oh, one last thing... Never forget this. Everything IS truly fair in love - so if you don't see a wedding ring, she's still available. I've taken girls away from committed relationships twice in my life by giving them a better offer and being really persistent. "Dating someone" who hasn't given her a ring yet is only some slacker who's not really serious and she's merely waiting(most often in the U.S. - waiting for him to change/grow up more/get over his fear of commitment.

My cousin Sharon met her husband at EHarmony(could have been any other site) - the thing is, they both loved each other and got married THREE MONTHS later. That's the real thing - he asked her two months after they met - he wasted zero time because he was 110% serious. So if she's waiting forever for her boyfriend to commit, she's still available.

Hah..funny you should mention..the commitment deal..I know a girl now in a relationship, wants it to go further, but dude keeps slacking
*shrugs*

plus he stays worried about me for some reason.

[Plekto]

She's fair game, then. Perfect scenario I was takling about. And his fear of you tells her that he is insecure and also HE thinks you are a better match for her than she is.(compounds the problem because he's not going be able to hide it from her).

Can't commit - not the right match. Because when you find the right one, commitment is second nature - you can hardly wait for it.

Of course, if you want her, it's entirely up to you :)

[Life25Karma]

She's fair game, then. Perfect scenario I was takling about. And his fear of you tells her that he is insecure and also HE thinks you are a better match for her than she is.(compounds the problem because he's not going to hide it from her).

Can't commit - not the right match. Because when you find the right one, commitment is second nature - you can hardly wait for it.

Of course, if you want her, it's entirely up to you :)

I honestly think he's just being hella lazy.
But oh man I have stories...


I was living in San Diego about a year, or two ago..and one day my friend calls me to talk cause she hasn't heard from me. The conversation is going well, you know the basic stuff. Well she tells me she had a good day, except her boyfriend(the insecure dingus) was upset with her cause she still talks to me. When they have a fight, he assumes she is going to go running to me.

*shrugs* yah we're just friends, and if I wanted her, I would have made my move a long time ago..

so anyway..it got so bad that she has to hide my phone number. =P
I never gave this guy a reason to worry - he is just insecure as hell.
Now they have a child together, she picked out a ring(he asked her to go with him to pick one out) ..still he hasn't bothered to snatch it up..and from what I gather, the ring is what...$180.00? I don't know his situation but if it was me, she would have been snatched up a while ago..

[Angelyne]

That's one of my tricks in life in business and relationships. Always do anything you can do over the phone in person if at all possible, and if not, send a real letter. The personal touch is huge, even now in the age of computers and electronics. A lot of young people who never lived without computers never learned this, actually.(more like were never taught)

It's also a sure-fire way to get a second date. :) If I like a girl, I call her the next day without fail or do the letter/in person if we say, take classes together.(then's the time for a small gift - and giving it to her in class also has a nice effect) This whole "will she call me - oh I shouldn't look so anxious/desperate..." - it's BS. You like... you call... You get second date. And maybe it leads to something fantastic...

Oh, one last thing... Never forget this. Everything IS truly fair in love - so if you don't see a wedding ring, she's still available. I've taken girls away from committed relationships twice in my life by giving them a better offer and being really persistent. "Dating someone" who hasn't given her a ring yet is only some slacker who's not really serious and she's merely waiting(most often in the U.S. - waiting for him to change/grow up more/get over his fear of commitment.

My cousin Sharon met her husband at EHarmony(could have been any other site) - the thing is, they both loved each other and got married THREE MONTHS later. That's the real thing - he asked her two months after they met - he wasted zero time because he was 110% serious. So if she's waiting forever for her boyfriend to commit, she's still available.

Right, because rushing into marriage is a great idea. :rofl:

No wonder the divorce is over 50 percent in this country.:duh:

[ak24]

If you are in a relationship, FUCKING TRUST your partner. Especially if they're doing nothing to merit distrust.

I sometimes don't understand my own gender people... I've never been on a relationship before... but they can't trust their girlfriends enough to talk to the girl's guy friends? Kinda weird to me. I guess I'll feel the same way if I have a relationship.

"Babe Ruth is famous for all the homeruns he had, but do you also know he had the record for striking out the most? Same thing with women, you gotta flunk a LOT to finally score a good one."

Nice analogy.

[h2orowe]

Lullz, zomg. Next year, I plan on dating quite a bit. New classes=new girls=new people to talk to. I could talk to them at lunch, but it's fricking hard, because girls aren't in a social mindset at school, really, (although XD If it's in class, they pretty much will talk to just not pay attention).

I've been on one date ever so far. 'Twas pretty disasterous. This chick REALLY liked me, 'cuz she heard me sing+play guitar for our math class at the start of the year or whatever, and she really dug my voice. She was.. kinda cute. Chubby, but still pretty cute. However >.>; I thought she was a complete bitch.

One day, my friend who had just had a date with this girl (that was the only date I think XD) said that his date said if they date again that it should be a double date with some guy named Joey who's in vocal ensemble (Advanced choir :P ), plays guitar, and has blonde hair (It was me.) My friend told me about this, and I was pretty stoked. I was slightly confident back then, now I'm pretty damned confident (I was still pretty much softcock, as Pooka puts it, back then :P ).

Then when he found out who it was, he told me her name, and said it was this chick from my math class. Now.. there's two girls with that name in the class, one who's this cute Mexican chick, and one who I thought was an annoying bitch. It ended up being the annoying bitch. So I said I'd go on that date just to stfu my friend, and when it came, I canceled. (My mom's doctors said she might've had breast cancer D: she doesn't thankfully, but I was too worried+too uninterested to go that weekend.)

Finally, I decided that that Monday, I would actually talk to her. I saw her putting away papers and stuff in the back of the class for the teacher, and I went and helped her so I could talk to her :P she seemed not so bitchy. Like the next week or something (This was like a month or two month period >.>; I REALLY didn't want to date her -_-; ) I finally asked her out. The day came, and I had been sick for two days straight, like mad. I only showed up to school because it was finals. I call her and told her I was sick as shit, but we were still going. This is where it got bad :3

So, I show up wearing like.. dress slacks because I was freezing my ass off, a beaten old hoody, and a gray/black Nightmare Before Christmas beanie. I looked like shit because I hadn't shaved for a while, and I was.. well sick. So, I couldn't really think of anywhere cool >.>; so I took her to this place called Mainstreet or whatever, it's basically like.. a bunch of shops that have been around for a while, there's a deli, a diner, a Mexican resteraunt, some little stores, a Good Will, and a few other things.

It had completely slipped my mind until I arrived that.. well.. >_>; on Friday nights.. a bunch of old people go there and have a car show. Now, it was kinda neat that there was a car show, but I'm pretty sure we were the only people under 55 save for workers+a few people who were like 40-ish. We walked around for a hour or so, XD and I took her inside the Good Will. I guess this was a bad idea? LOL I thought it was fun, because I was entertaining myself by making jokes about nearly everything in the fricking place. I brought up how Chanukkah was coming up, and how I was interested in Judaism before we went in there, and when we were in there we went through these boxes with VHS tapes.. and what do we find? "Rugrats: Passover special". I told her I was gonna get it. She was laughing and such >.>; so I think she was having a decent time (The one thing I liked about her was she was pretty funny. Like funny in a bitchy/complain-y way.)

So, we had dinner at the diner, and like.. I had a water and a sandwich, (I had been saving up for like 2 weeks for this -_-; using my lunch money+allowance. I still had like 10 bucks or 15 at the end of the night, but I was still kinda angry at her for this XD) she ordered a Sprite, a salad, and fish and chips >.>; she barely ate any of it. I was thinking.. "Ugh.. my cash D:" (because back then I didn't know that coffee dates would be a good idea, which would've been cheaper. Plus I still don't really know how to go Dutch XD do I ask? or do I just hand her the bill with my part paid?)

After dinner we walked up and down mainstreet for a bit, it's not really that big. Then we decided to go visit her friend, and walked over to apartments that were nearby. She wasn't home D: so we walked to the area by this like.. sattelite college, and sat on a bench and talked for a while. :watson: Actually, thinking back on it, it wasn't THAT bad, but I had a pounding headache the whole time, and I didn't go for a kiss/make any physical contact the whole night. She seemed like she had a good time though.

Reason why I didn't get a second date, I think, though, is because winter break was like.. right then. That was the last Friday until winter break or whatever. I didn't call her XD and when it came back to school time, she was all crying in class and stuff, and I was just trying to have a casual conversation with her LOL then like the next week I was like "Hey, my aunt gave me a $50 gift certificate to the movies, and I want to spend it, wanna go out again sometime?"

She replied with "I'm busy this month." XD and I called her a liar. I kinda meant to say that in my head, but it slipped out of my mouth. She got really defensive about it, and was like "No! Seriously! My dad's birthday, my friend's birthday" and I was like "Well, then maybe next month, I guess. See ya." >_>; I didn't care that much, I was just pissed that I had spent that much money and frigging went on the date sick as shit and didn't get anything out of it. She told my friend that she thought I was boring. <_<; yeah, fuck her buddy. Am not.



Anyway, new Joey would've handled that date a lot differently :watson:

[Life25Karma]

I sometimes don't understand my own gender people... I've never been on a relationship before... but they can't trust their girlfriends enough to talk to the girl's guy friends? Kinda weird to me. I guess I'll feel the same way if I have a relationship.



Nice analogy.

Yup..crazy shi*...
Hell ..and I even told my friend to date this moron if he does right by her.
LoL wow..and he knows this, YET, says I am up to no good. Oh yes, I would cockblock myself - WHAT A GENIUS THING TO DO!

[Roxie]

Yeah, that jealousy thing gets old quick.

My ex- was like that. He let me know it annoyed him that I was planning to go a tournament (video games) because there would be alot of boys there. He didn't like the fact that I was in chat rooms, because there were guys there.

Once, he called me and I missed his call. I wanted to e-mail him to let him know I was available and he could call again, but my internet wasn't working. I walked across the hall to my friend Brian's to use his.

Brian was gracious enough to let me e-mail him from there, even though he had a girl over.

I had guy friends I hung out with often, but my ex's airing of his opinions made me very reluctant and I'd say I was out with "friends" and I'd never name them (he never asked) and I told him I went to my CA's room (a girl) to email him (after which I directly came clean).

Anyway, his distrust of other guys (a completely illogically idea) made me uncomfortable with the truth.
THIS IS A HUGE MISTAKE!!! NEVER MAKE YOUR PARTNER FEEL AS IF S/HE CANNOT TELL YOU THE TRUTH IN ALL THINGS!! IT WILL ONLY CAUSE MORE PROBLEMS..

It can be hard to do, but it is always for the best.


It's funny cause one of my guy friends did end up crushing on me and I told him we couldn't do anything cause I was still with this guy. However, shortly after my (then) b/f told me that my idea of making a series issues (news) magazine for women was as devisive as the nazis seperating the gay population and that it would be (and i'll remember this always) "the last nail in the coffin of freedom", I broke up with him.

[Jetsetlemming]

However, shortly after my (then) b/f told me that my idea of making a series issues (news) magazine for women was as devisive as the nazis seperating the gay population and that it would be (and i'll remember this always) "the last nail in the coffin of freedom", I broke up with him.
:rofl: You fucking nazi, you. :P

I've always been the opposite in relationships, too trusting.....

[Life25Karma]

:rofl: You fucking nazi, you. :P

I've always been the opposite in relationships, too trusting.....

I try to keep it neutral lol..
*shrugs*

but yeah...like Roxie said - the jealousy thing just wears down a relationship fast. Its like killing a horse fly with a sledge hammer.

[Roxie]

the guy i'm with now...we've had our fair share of (personal--not really realtionship related) issues to work through, but the simple fact that I feel like I can tell him anything and he's not going to make me feel wrong or guilty for doing so, always brings me back. It's incrediably liberating...I mean, my parents can't even give me that.

[stsparky]

mAn1AkAl-rUsh1n? My underlying code of behavior is "real communication is only possible between equals" - so explain your wants and needs without being whiney or pushy. And before taking sex off the table - ask her what she thinks about it. The bottom line of the whole going 'dutch' thing is that you demonstrate that she is an equal and can give you input. The whole trust thing requires a level of committment that's untypical of college kids. Unless you really think you've met the love of your life then have no expectations. I am serious about the never forgetting your 'date' is your equal. Always get her thoughts on activities you want to do together.

As to dating - it is the lead up to being sexual, as you'll be "one to one" during it. Otherwise - find a common interest and do it as a group. Be it D&D or skateboarding or kendo. If she wants to something with you and she's aware you're a normal college student - you'll be on track to a sexual encounter. If you present your condom purchases as concern for her and you - the two of you can then shop for the ones that give her the best experience.

[Plekto]

Right, because rushing into marriage is a great idea. :rofl:

No wonder the divorce is over 50 percent in this country.:duh:

Well, to their credit, they ARE a perfect match, level-headed, and in their 30s, having done a lot of dating and half-assed relationships before this. They are going on two years now and have a cute daughter.(like in Japan, they wasted NO time after the wedding - heh)

I think what helped was that they were dating opposites for the most part but this dating service is about finding someone who is as close to you as possible. Of all of the marriages I know in my extended family and circle of friends, they are easily the best prospect to last forever.

So, like someone said earlier, try to find someone as much like you as possible.(assumiong you have your head on straight that is - lol)

[Angelyne]

Well, to their credit, they ARE a perfect match, level-headed, and in their 30s, having done a lot of dating and half-assed relationships before this. They are going on two years now and have a cute daughter.(like in Japan, they wasted NO time after the wedding - heh)

I think what helped was that they were dating opposites for the most part but this dating service is about finding someone who is as close to you as possible. Of all of the marriages I know in my extended family and circle of friends, they are easily the best prospect to last forever.

So, like someone said earlier, try to find someone as much like you as possible.(assumiong you have your head on straight that is - lol)

When I made that comment, I wasn't referring to your relatives. I was referring to this:

Oh, one last thing... Never forget this. Everything IS truly fair in love - so if you don't see a wedding ring, she's still available. I've taken girls away from committed relationships twice in my life by giving them a better offer and being really persistent. "Dating someone" who hasn't given her a ring yet is only some slacker who's not really serious and she's merely waiting(most often in the U.S. - waiting for him to change/grow up more/get over his fear of commitment.

Because you're implying that one isn't in a committed relationship until they have a ring on their finger. Furthermore, you're implying that it is clearly the guy who has committment issues and it's certainly not the girl who needs to "grow up." And all of this makes up the biggest load of bullshit I've read on this forum in a long time.

This sort of mentality is the reason why divorce rates have skyrocketed--because rushing into a marriage just to "prove" committment only leads to disaster. If one is so insecure that they need something conspicuous (e.g. ring or marriage license) to validate their relationship, then that relationship is doomed from the start. If they can't trust their partner's word or are so insecure that they need constant reassurance in the form of a ring, then these traits are going to continue to manifest themselves later in the relationship. In this case, a ring and a fancy wedding ceremony doesn't make one "committed"; it only masks these problems.

So if I had to offer anymore dating advice in this thread, it is to avoid these types of people like the plague. Find someone who has trust and confidence in you and doesn't buy into the assinine notion that marriage is the only way to show committment.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Why are we giving advice if you're not going to screw the woman? What a waste. Hopefully someone else will put to use this advice to actually have sex, which is the whole point of dating and relationships. Yeesh.

And whoever it was that said Babe Ruth had the most strikeouts and the most homeruns, what rock are you living under? The career strikeout leader is Reggie Jackson (http://www.baseball-reference.com/leaders/SO_career.shtml), and THAT record isn't likely to be passed by a dead guy (Ruth). And to boot, Ruth is #3 in career HRs (http://www.baseball-reference.com/leaders/HR_career.shtml), not #1.

(Babe Ruth is #83 all time for strikeouts, with about half as many as Reggie Jackson had)

[Decade]

And whoever it was that said Babe Ruth had the most strikeouts and the most homeruns, what rock are you living under? The career strikeout leader is Reggie Jackson, and THAT record isn't likely to be passed by a dead guy (Ruth). And to boot, Ruth is #3 in career HRs, not #1.
I said had, not holds.

Besides, it's an easier person to identify and get the analogy with.

[Plekto]

My point is that if she's not "claimed" with an engagement ring, she is techincally fair game. That's the reality of dating - that ANYONE is fair game until the day they get married, so don't give up just because the girl (or guy) of your dreams is dating someone else.

The number of times I find people who are on autopilot - the 2-3 year old going slowly relationship... It's half of everyone I meet these days. I would feel no fear or shame in yanking a good woman away from that self-imposed hell if I was interested.

That's because most of the "good" women are in a relationship of some sort already. But given how much young men tend to be putzes, a good percentage of them are in dead-end never going to commit until there's a baby on the way situations. Even if you don't marry her, just taking a good person away from that disaster is a good thing(IMO).

Plus, it's easy to get a woman away from a slacker if you try. In most cases, she's just looking for an excuse.

[Fermented Yeast Paste]

My point is that if she's not "claimed" with an engagement ring, she is techincally fair game. That's the reality of dating - that ANYONE is fair game until the day they get married, so don't give up just because the girl (or guy) of your dreams is dating someone else.

The number of times I find people who are on autopilot - the 2-3 year old going slowly relationship... It's half of everyone I meet these days. I would feel no fear or shame in yanking a good woman away from that self-imposed hell if I was interested.

That's because most of the "good" women are in a relationship of some sort already. But given how much young men tend to be putzes, a good percentage of them are in dead-end never going to commit until there's a baby on the way situations. Even if you don't marry her, just taking a good person away from that disaster is a good thing(IMO).

Plus, it's easy to get a woman away from a slacker if you try. In most cases, she's just looking for an excuse.

I'm going to go ahead and rudely make the assumption that you're a fairly sedentary human being that is dressed in little more than boxer shorts for a good portion of any given day.

[Angelyne]

My point is that if she's not "claimed" with an engagement ring, she is techincally fair game. That's the reality of dating - that ANYONE is fair game until the day they get married, so don't give up just because the girl (or guy) of your dreams is dating someone else.

The number of times I find people who are on autopilot - the 2-3 year old going slowly relationship... It's half of everyone I meet these days. I would feel no fear or shame in yanking a good woman away from that self-imposed hell if I was interested.

That's because most of the "good" women are in a relationship of some sort already. But given how much young men tend to be putzes, a good percentage of them are in dead-end never going to commit until there's a baby on the way situations. Even if you don't marry her, just taking a good person away from that disaster is a good thing(IMO).

Plus, it's easy to get a woman away from a slacker if you try. In most cases, she's just looking for an excuse.

This is a good exercise in adding more drama to your life. Anyone who waits around for this kind of lame "excuse" to leave a dysfunctional relationship is one that is not worth wasting your time on.

And again, why do you assume that it is always the guy who has committment issues? Chances are if a girl is ready to ditch a relationship at the drop of a hat, she's the one who has committment problems.

[Life25Karma]

Its funny that there is a post like this up.

Tonight I went out to the bar with one of my good friends. Every sunday is reggae night..newayz..we're sitting at the bar, and this girl comes up, and takes the seat next to me. She asked if anyone is sitting here, and of course I was lucky because the dude that was there, had left for tonight.

Was she beautiful/hot, whatever word best describes the "hell ya" feeling..yes she was...no ring(scanned the fingers - habbit), nice frame, damn flips a smile.

So we get to talking..nothing major..and well me the bar scene is okay, but this night the whole club scene was going on. Now in a way I'm kicking myself in the ass because I didn't try to slide on this girl and get the number, but my main deal tonight was to get a few drinks..eat some food, and trip out with my friend.

Hell we even spotted her on a drink..but like I said..wasn't out for the number..then again I can't help but think..*shit I let that pass* dah well..

anways long story short, with 5 drinks of pertrome(however you spell it)..and then some smirnoff clear..not to mention just the mood I was in..wasn't feeling the moment..personally

so to add to this dating tips thing...when you step out for the night..If you're not feeling your own style, then relax. Eh 1s impressions you know? Me holding a bottle while talking..pfft..plus that..went straight to the dance floor.

[xtine]

Dang, high class (well, somewhat) Patrón tequila. That must have racked up a modest bill after all those drinks.

Out bar-hopping, dance clubbing and meeting girls is usually just for that night (or booty calls) of fun. Don't expect anything serious, and if it does become serious, it's usually to be avoided. Have "fun" in bars/clubs, but for something that actually means something, avoid it.

I personally think that there is nothing wrong with hooking up in bars/clubs (it's usually the intent anyways), but there is something wrong if your only place for meeting members of the opposite sex is in a bar/club.

[Life25Karma]

Dang, high class (well, somewhat) Patrón tequila. That must have racked up a modest bill after all those drinks.

Out bar-hopping, dance clubbing and meeting girls is usually just for that night (or booty calls) of fun. Don't expect anything serious, and if it does become serious, it's usually to be avoided. Have "fun" in bars/clubs, but for something that actually means something, avoid it.

I personally think that there is nothing wrong with hooking up in bars/clubs (it's usually the intent anyways), but there is something wrong if your only place for meeting members of the opposite sex is in a bar/club.

Heh the bill wasn't to bad. Patron(thank you lol) ran for $10.00 a glass. I had two but my friend paid for the second one - bartender made it to strong so he gave it to me. The Smirnoff clear(tall bottle) was 5.00 a piece, which isn't bad at all seeing as though you do get your money's worth out of it.

I don't mind the bar scene so much, but its not my initial spot. As you said , the bar is for "fun" heh but once in a while a curve ball gets thrown. Gah still smell like smoke...and I don't smoke at all..ha where is the Frebreeze!?

[Plekto]

This is a good exercise in adding more drama to your life. Anyone who waits around for this kind of lame "excuse" to leave a dysfunctional relationship is one that is not worth wasting your time on.

And again, why do you assume that it is always the guy who has committment issues? Chances are if a girl is ready to ditch a relationship at the drop of a hat, she's the one who has committment problems.

****
You'd be surprized. A lot of great women go into relationships with all of the right intentions, but their guy just won't commit. 100% his fault. So it drags on and on and on and omg it grinds until there's just no patience left. It's not about her being a bad person or anything so much as he's good at leading her along.

And, I've done it twice in my life. And it was really *REALLY* hard to get them away, but they both laugh when I bring up the situation(we meet occasionally in public) and are glad they got out of the rut. No regrets.

Do what you want. Ignore what society or people say - and have fun.

Oh - I'm 37, Work 40 hours a week, have an 8 year old son, and lead a pretty normal life, to be honest. This week, I have to finish fixing my truck, look for a new condo(this one's being sold), practice by bass, take my son to a Dodger's game with my company, attend his open house, see a movie on Friday, test drive that new Smart Car on Saturday... Then catch the Japanese bands at the Wiltern on Saturday night. Shoot, I barely have time to play a little online poker or watch some anime or simmilar in the evenings(my son's homework is silly these days - it feels like *I* have homework again!) OH - and try to date inbetween all of this. Lol. Sitting around in my underwear - yeah, that would be nice if I got more than thirty minutes of free time in my life. I'm secretly waiting until my son is grown up in ten years and I can get out there in full force again. Kids do make your life quite busy. Heh. :)

But I did have a lot of fun when I was younger. Not some Evil Knievel, or even close, but I knew how to get out and have a good time.

[Psychochink]

I've said my piece about dating, but I thought I might throw this one in there as well, for future reference.

Once you get to the stage where you're thinking about settling down, remember this, grasshopper. Relationships take work.

You will fight with your partner, you will not see eye to eye on issues that either/both of you may feel strongly about and there will be times that you will question whether it is worth it.

Now, it may well not be, at which point extricate yourself. On the other hand, there is an increasing tendency for many people to give up as soon as things get difficult. It's how you deal with that difficulty that determines whether or not your relationship is going anywhere.

Learn to compromise (not cave in) and recognise that it's not going to be sunshine and puppies all the time. Commit to dealing with your issues instead of either a) sweeping them under the rug, or b) giving up.

[Life25Karma]

I've said my piece about dating, but I thought I might throw this one in there as well, for future reference.

Once you get to the stage where you're thinking about settling down, remember this, grasshopper. Relationships take work.

You will fight with your partner, you will not see eye to eye on issues that either/both of you may feel strongly about and there will be times that you will question whether it is worth it.

Now, it may well not be, at which point extricate yourself. On the other hand, there is an increasing tendency for many people to give up as soon as things get difficult. It's how you deal with that difficulty that determines whether or not your relationship is going anywhere.

Learn to compromise (not cave in) and recognise that it's not going to be sunshine and puppies all the time. Commit to dealing with your issues instead of either a) sweeping them under the rug, or b) giving up.


I agree with ya' 100%
50/50 Split.

[Knife-Fingered Sue Sanderson]

Oh - I'm 37



Things look a little different when you're only 20, in college and dating, though. I think what angelyne means is that when you're a college student, just because someone isn't married doesn't mean they're fair game. A lot of college students aren't married yet, but that doesn't mean they aren't in committed relationships. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year, and I don't have a ring on my finger but that doesn't mean there won't be one in a couple of years. He's already said he wants to marry me, but he's still a student, I've just graduated and am looking at grad school soon, so it would be reckless to walk down the aisle now. Your advice makes sense, and is romantic as far marrying someone right away because you know they're "the one," but not for juniors in college.

[Life25Karma]

If its meant to be/real or whatever - it will happen.

Ya have to crack a few clams before ya find a pearl.

[Masa the Masta]

There's always a bigger pearl out there.

[manrush]

Why are we giving advice if you're not going to screw the woman? What a waste. Hopefully someone else will put to use this advice to actually have sex, which is the whole point of dating and relationships. Yeesh.

And whoever it was that said Babe Ruth had the most strikeouts and the most homeruns, what rock are you living under? The career strikeout leader is Reggie Jackson (http://www.baseball-reference.com/leaders/SO_career.shtml), and THAT record isn't likely to be passed by a dead guy (Ruth). And to boot, Ruth is #3 in career HRs (http://www.baseball-reference.com/leaders/HR_career.shtml), not #1.

(Babe Ruth is #83 all time for strikeouts, with about half as many as Reggie Jackson had)

Isn't dating about having fun and getting to know a person? And the thread is called "dating tips", not "manipulating-your-way-into-a-girl's-pants tips." And since when did getting some become the goal of dating/relationships?

[manrush]

And this thread is for everyone, not just me.

[h2orowe]

And since when did getting some become the goal of dating/relationships?
>____________>; Since the dawn of time, my kind sir, since the dawn of time. When caveman Sal took out his caveman gal, he intended on getting in the saddle, my friend.

[stsparky]

There's always a bigger pearl out there.
Bigger is not always better.
The thing is you have to know what to do in a fight when you're married. My wife will get snippy and say mean stuff. I've learned to shut up and never utter a nasty word in reply. She'll get upset and state she wants to go to Japan without me. I simply say:
"we're a family and we're staying one - I'll be where you are"
... and come the next day she'll apologise.
Perfect doesn't exist.

[stsparky]

Isn't dating about having fun and getting to know a person? And the thread is called "dating tips", not "manipulating-your-way-into-a-girl's-pants tips." And since when did getting some become the goal of dating/relationships?
Why the fuck are you assuming the girl doesn't want to junp your bones? Stop being a gloomy gus. Be open and talk to the lady. Listen to what she wants.

[h2orowe]

Why the fuck are you assuming the girl doesn't want to junp your bones? Stop being a gloomy gus. Be open and talk to the lady. Listen to what she wants.
Indeed. :watson:

[manrush]

It's me who doesn't want to have sex. I have my reasons, and no, I won't explain them here. They will be for a whole 'nother thread.

[manrush]

Why the fuck are you assuming the girl doesn't want to junp your bones? Stop being a gloomy gus. Be open and talk to the lady. Listen to what she wants.

I'll do that, but even I have my limits. I will date, I will not have sex.

[manrush]

>____________>; Since the dawn of time, my kind sir, since the dawn of time. When caveman Sal took out his caveman gal, he intended on getting in the saddle, my friend.

I can see that. Why can't we just club women over the head and drag them back to the cave? :rofl:

[stsparky]

I'll do that, but even I have my limits. I will date, I will not have sex.
Last time I dealt with a kid who said that - he was incapable of having physical sex as he was wheelchair bound and didn't have any control of his equipment. I hope this is not the case for you. I'll guess you're not UNDERSTANDING we're telling you:

SEX IS AWESOME FUN WHEN IT IS A MUTUAL CHOICE.

SEX DOES NOT HAVE TO LEAD TO BABIES.So if a girl tells you to drop your drawers - what are you going to do?

[manrush]

So predictable. I knew someone would say exactly that. Yes it's fun, but I don't do causal sex. That's final.

[manrush]

I'm not stopping others from having sex. I just choose not to.

[manrush]

Last time I dealt with a kid who said that - he was incapable of having physical sex as he was wheelchair bound and didn't have any control of his equipment. I hope this is not the case for you. I'll guess you're not UNDERSTANDING we're telling you:

SEX IS AWESOME FUN WHEN IT IS A MUTUAL CHOICE.

SEX DOES NOT HAVE TO LEAD TO BABIES.So if a girl tells you to drop your drawers - what are you going to do?


Politely tell her that I won't do that.

[Kusoyaro]

props to you dude. your willpower (and testes) must be titanic.

[manrush]

Not really, I do jack it from time to time. I'm trying to stop, though.

[Kusoyaro]

oh. um. ok.

[stsparky]

I'm hardwired for getting down to business. When I was dating - I was pretty honest about it. I also made the makers of Trojans extremely happy. I can't think of any reason to not have sex with someone I'm interested in. At this moment I've got nothing for you. I've always found platonic relationships too much a waste of time and money. And you have to ponder if you're wasting the other person's time by not having sex on the menu.

I'd ask the ladies in their 'thread' about this. Maybe you should invest in NetFlicks and forget this dating thing. It could be not your cuppa.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Isn't dating about having fun and getting to know a person? And the thread is called "dating tips", not "manipulating-your-way-into-a-girl's-pants tips." And since when did getting some become the goal of dating/relationships?
Translation:

"I want a female friend who I can pretend to date despite not doing anything resembling what a couple would do. Please tell me how to be a eunuch on the good side of women who will pretend to date me monogamously while I pretend that the whole reason for having a relationship is naughty and not something I want to participate in."

[Kusoyaro]

whatever happened to courtship

[Angelyne]

I'm hardwired for getting down to business. When I was dating - I was pretty honest about it. I also made the makers of Trojans extremely happy. I can't think of any reason to not have sex with someone I'm interested in. At this moment I've got nothing for you. I've always found platonic relationships too much a waste of time and money. And you have to ponder if you're wasting the other person's time by not having sex on the menu.

I'd ask the ladies in their 'thread' about this. Maybe you should invest in NetFlicks and forget this dating thing. It could be not your cuppa.

I think as long as mAn1AkAl-rUsh1n is upfront about his decision, then I don't see why he should refrain from dating. It needn't be discussed at first, but if the girl is hinting that she wants sex or if the dates are starting to turn into a real relationship, then it's time to sit down and have an awkward conversation about it, and decide where the relationship will go from there. And save that awkward conversation for a neutral, non-sexual setting. Don't wait until your in the bedroom and she's trying to tear your pants off to say, "oh...um...no thank you..."

Besides, it's very possible that he'll meet someone who shares a similar opinion about sex. Of course, he won't find her until he tries :innocent:


And fuck Trojans--I've had 3-4 of those flimsy piece of shit condoms break on me before I gave them up forever.

EDIT: Fixed typos

[Kusoyaro]

which is why i go old-school. sheeps bladders ftw

[Angelyne]

which is why i go old-school. sheeps bladders ftw

Still more reliable than Trojans.

[Kusoyaro]

no, i'm serious. i use lambskin

[Pierrot le Fou]

I think as long as mAn1AkAl-rUsh1n is upfront about his decision, then I don't see why he should refrain from dating. It needn't be discussed at first, but if the girl is hinting that she wants sex or if the dates are starting to turn into a real relationship, then it's time to sit down and have an awkward conversation about it, and decide where the relationship will go from there. And save that awkward conversation for a neutral, non-sexual setting. Don't wait until your in the bedroom and she's trying to tear your pants off to say, "oh...um...no thank you..."
Wahahaha, perfect first date material.

"Hi honey, I'm so glad you came on a date with me. Just so you know, I am not interested in casual sex, or sex with you in general. Let's have fun on our date tonight, okay?"

Talk about a guaranteed way to never get a second date.

If he doesn't want to fuck women, then he shouldn't be dating women. The point of being in a relationship is sex. Anyone who disagrees will be tossed in a cauldron of boiling oil filled with evil oil-proof scorpions. Or something equivalently nasty.

[manrush]

Wahahaha, perfect first date material.

"Hi honey, I'm so glad you came on a date with me. Just so you know, I am not interested in casual sex, or sex with you in general. Let's have fun on our date tonight, okay?"

Talk about a guaranteed way to never get a second date.

If he doesn't want to fuck women, then he shouldn't be dating women. The point of being in a relationship is sex. Anyone who disagrees will be tossed in a cauldron of boiling oil filled with evil oil-proof scorpions. Or something equivalently nasty.

I prefer several thousand Linkin Parks singing crawwwlin' in my skiiiiin into my ears while listening to several clones my Biochemistry professor from last semester drone on and on:D

[manrush]

To pierre

If you're joking, then keep on doing so, your shit's hilarious

If you're bein g serious, then fuck you.

[manrush]

I think as long as mAn1AkAl-rUsh1n is upfront about his decision, then I don't see why he should refrain from dating. It needn't be discussed at first, but if the girl is hinting that she wants sex or if the dates are starting to turn into a real relationship, then it's time to sit down and have an awkward conversation about it, and decide where the relationship will go from there. And save that awkward conversation for a neutral, non-sexual setting. Don't wait until your in the bedroom and she's trying to tear your pants off to say, "oh...um...no thank you..."

Besides, it's very possible that he'll meet someone who shares a similar opinion about sex. Of course, he won't find her until he tries :innocent:


And fuck Trojans--I've had 3-4 of those flimsy piece of shit condoms break on me before I gave them up forever.

EDIT: Fixed typos


Finally. Thanks for a woman's perspective on this, Angelyne.

[Decade]

I'm hardwired for getting down to business. When I was dating - I was pretty honest about it. I also made the makers of Trojans extremely happy. I can't think of any reason to not have sex with someone I'm interested in. At this moment I've got nothing for you. I've always found platonic relationships too much a waste of time and money. And you have to ponder if you're wasting the other person's time by not having sex on the menu.
...can I carry your books to school, Sparky? :innocent:

"I want a female friend who I can pretend to date despite not doing anything resembling what a couple would do. Please tell me how to be a eunuch on the good side of women who will pretend to date me monogamously while I pretend that the whole reason for having a relationship is naughty and not something I want to participate in."

Answer:

Turn gay.

[Jetsetlemming]

If he doesn't want to fuck women, then he shouldn't be dating women. The point of being in a relationship is sex. Anyone who disagrees will be tossed in a cauldron of boiling oil filled with evil oil-proof scorpions. Or something equivalently nasty.
I lol'd.

[Roxie]

I'm trying to stop, though.
Not wanting to have sex yet...ok..that's fine, personal choice...but trying to stop pleasing yourself? Why in heaven's name would you try to do that?

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great~
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irrate~

I really want an answer to that one...

[japanat]

Hah, usually it's the religious wedding-night virgins who get holier than thou, not the rumbling bed-spring squeakers.

Gentlemen, if the guy doesn't want to have sex, whatever. I don't agree (hell, with 4 kids, I obviously don't even understand!), but I won't knock him for it. He obviously has his reasons. Christ, he's a junior in college, and never had a date? There are lots of women out there who have the same sentiments as him, too.

Maniakal,
If you're serious about not doing the sausage sneak, then try to meet women who share your convictions, or you will truly be wasting your time - and theirs. You certainly won't be picking too many of them up at the bars, though. Try joining other groups where you can meet such women, like church groups (if that's your reason).

I didn't do the club scene, I met my ladies elsewhere. When I went to bars, I got loaded, that's why I went there. When I went to swimming pools or frat formals, I got laidies (typo intentional). Look for your ladies in a place where you are comfortable and at your ease, or you are gonna get nowhere.

And truly unbelievable, but Plekto actually said something that rang true to me. I met two of my gfs in college when they were dating other guys, my wife as well. But I didn't push, quite the opposite. I was there at the right time, and told them that I understood that they were in a relationship and wouldn't pressure them. Worked every time. [you ever try to push a horse away from water? (please don't tell my wife that analogy!)]

And Maniakal, sex is good for you! Those who fire often are much less likely to develop prostate problems (men only, women don't have one!) Great poem, Roxie!

[Roxie]

It's not a poem...it's a Monty Python song (http://youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8)

Every Sperm is Sacred


From: The Meaning Of Life
by the Monty Python Team


There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them. I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood!
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.
Mine! And mine! And mine!
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!

[Jetsetlemming]

It's not a poem...it's a Monty Python song (http://youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8)

:rofl: This was in the related videos: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPFUYUUdQ&mode=related&search=

[Fred]

I have been hesitant to post a comment in this thread because I am married and therefore my dating skills are… well… outdated.

I am fine with someone saying they want to date women, but they do not want to have sex. I may or may not agree with their reasoning, but so what? It’s not my business whether or not someone chooses to have sex.

I don’t care if someone chooses not to masturbate. Although, I think masturbation proves that the best things in life really are free.

I think that if you want a relationship to work, it helps to be clear about your expectations. Japanat’s suggestion, as usual, was a good one. Go to events/places where you are likely to meet people with similar values. Another idea would be to create your own event. Organize a dance for people who want relationships but not sex. Start a club. I don’t know what your value set is, but it is reasonable to think that there might be others who share it.

[Plekto]

Answer:

Turn gay.

***
Ahahah. You beat me to it.

Oh, and PLF - awesome response. I totally agree. Feel no shame or fear in getting what you want. Worry about who you climbed over and stomped on to get the girl of your dreams when you both are celebrating your 50th anniversary. ;)

I'd have said something like this, though:
"..deserves to wake up a decade later having to get ready for his wife's fourth Joan Baez concert this year." Bad karma 4tw! :)


But I didn't push, quite the opposite. I was there at the right time, and told them that I understood that they were in a relationship and wouldn't pressure them. Worked every time. [you ever try to push a horse away from water? (please don't tell my wife that analogy!)]

Well, that's the obvious way. You are persistent but mostly get them by offering a better total package/deal. If they are on autopilot, they'll usually take you up on the offer pretty easily.(though it can be hard - take weeks or months of slow effort in some cases)

[Kusoyaro]

why are you guys so angry? he wants advice, not criticism, right?.
not everyone dheres to the sex-after-marriage belief (although i used to), but i also never masturbate (except for a few months when i was like 13). it's completely wasteful. if i was stuck in some desert or wasteland with no one around me for months, then maybe i would, but i'm not in some remote place, i'm in the middle of a city filled with women. and since it's so fuckign easy to get laid, there's no reason why anyone would even want to jack off.
there have been quite a few women that would never have sex until after marriage. yeah, didn't get laid but i got to have some non-sexual fun and stuff it was ok. it's not that uncommon to find women who will not fuck pre-wedding, especially in non-city areas, it's not that big a deal. just keep looking. whatever your root cause for this, operate on that.

[Decade]

I say we all force him to watch the 40 year old virgin as many times as it takes for him to get the message

[manrush]

Hah, usually it's the religious wedding-night virgins who get holier than thou, not the rumbling bed-spring squeakers.

Gentlemen, if the guy doesn't want to have sex, whatever. I don't agree (hell, with 4 kids, I obviously don't even understand!), but I won't knock him for it. He obviously has his reasons. Christ, he's a junior in college, and never had a date? There are lots of women out there who have the same sentiments as him, too.

Maniakal,
If you're serious about not doing the sausage sneak, then try to meet women who share your convictions, or you will truly be wasting your time - and theirs. You certainly won't be picking too many of them up at the bars, though. Try joining other groups where you can meet such women, like church groups (if that's your reason).

I didn't do the club scene, I met my ladies elsewhere. When I went to bars, I got loaded, that's why I went there. When I went to swimming pools or frat formals, I got laidies (typo intentional). Look for your ladies in a place where you are comfortable and at your ease, or you are gonna get nowhere.

And truly unbelievable, but Plekto actually said something that rang true to me. I met two of my gfs in college when they were dating other guys, my wife as well. But I didn't push, quite the opposite. I was there at the right time, and told them that I understood that they were in a relationship and wouldn't pressure them. Worked every time. [you ever try to push a horse away from water? (please don't tell my wife that analogy!)]

And Maniakal, sex is good for you! Those who fire often are much less likely to develop prostate problems (men only, women don't have one!) Great poem, Roxie!

I'm not a junior yet, I'm becoming one next semester. And yes, I know sex is good for me. Just causal sex is not my thing.

[manrush]

I say we all force him to watch the 40 year old virgin as many times as it takes for him to get the message

I've watched that movie 7 times. I'm still as stubborn as always. Bring it!!!

[Decade]

And you're STILL putting the pussy on the pedestal?

Fuck, son, there IS some problems there

[Pierrot le Fou]

I'm not a junior yet, I'm becoming one next semester. And yes, I know sex is good for me. Just causal sex is not my thing.
Quite frankly, stating that casual sex 'isn't your thing' before having experienced sex in general, and then implying that sex with someone you're dating is 'casual sex' before having dated in general is absurd. And even more absurd? Trying to cut off your only release (playing the skin flute) while making these silly claims is probably the #1 best way to make sure that your hormones rage out of control and make you do something dumber than you would have if you just went along with the little puppies and did what they told you to.

Which, of course, is to screw.

But it's okay. In two years you'll learn the folly of your ways, and end up screwing some entirely horrid woman that ends up being a massive mistake, turn to alcohol and end up a 40 year-old bachelor with a beer gut whose weekend plans consist of hiring an escort.

(if shock and awe tactics work for D.A.R.E, then they're good enough for me!)

[Psychochink]

I wanna hear his reasons. How are we supposed to decide whether they are potentially valid or ridiculous unless we know what they are.

Spill!

[Kusoyaro]

sex before marriage steals your soul

[yakamashii]

(Babe Ruth is #83 all time for strikeouts, with about half as many as Reggie Jackson had)

NONE of the 82 players who passed Ruth after he established the mark for career strikeouts was playing professional baseball when Ruth retired...or when he died 13 years later.

Not gonna help anyone get dates, I know.

[xinster]

Quite frankly, stating that casual sex 'isn't your thing' before having experienced sex in general, and then implying that sex with someone you're dating is 'casual sex' before having dated in general is absurd. And even more absurd? Trying to cut off your only release (playing the skin flute) while making these silly claims is probably the #1 best way to make sure that your hormones rage out of control and make you do something dumber than you would have if you just went along with the little puppies and did what they told you to.

Which, of course, is to screw.

But it's okay. In two years you'll learn the folly of your ways, and end up screwing some entirely horrid woman that ends up being a massive mistake, turn to alcohol and end up a 40 year-old bachelor with a beer gut whose weekend plans consist of hiring an escort.

(if shock and awe tactics work for D.A.R.E, then they're good enough for me!)

fuckin owned.

its ironic that you quote the bible in your signature. Most guys i know who abstain are christians.

[Pierrot le Fou]

NONE of the 82 players who passed Ruth after he established the mark for career strikeouts was playing professional baseball when Ruth retired...or when he died 13 years later.

Not gonna help anyone get dates, I know.
Unless she's a baseball fan. Then it may.

And yes, you're correct. Still doesn't change the fact that he's #83 ;)

[Pierrot le Fou]

fuckin owned.

its ironic that you quote the bible in your signature. Most guys i know who abstain are christians.
There is nothing ironic about it. I can quote the Bible and not be a Christian. It ain't hard. My quote is anti-idiot, not pro-God.

[Kusoyaro]

amen to that

[xinster]

There is nothing ironic about it. I can quote the Bible and not be a Christian. It ain't hard. My quote is anti-idiot, not pro-God.

its not you quoting it that is ironic. If the other guy is indeed Christian, i would find it ironic.

[Pierrot le Fou]

its not you quoting it that is ironic. If the other guy is indeed Christian, i would find it ironic.
You're going to have to clarify this irony here, because it's sounding more like an Alanis lyric than the definition of irony.

It's ironic that I have a Bible quote but am supporting sex before marriage if he's a Christian who won't have casual sex but doesn't have a bible quote in his signature?

Huh?

[stsparky]

Still more reliable than Trojans.
Hint - you're using them wrong and/or your man is using the wrong size. Lambskin condoms are porous - might as well use the rhythm method.

I stand by my earlier statement, being sexless doesn't equate to also wanting to date. So something doesn't add up.

[Angelyne]

Hint - you're using them wrong and/or your man is using the wrong size. Lambskin condoms are porous - might as well use the rhythm method.

I stand by my earlier statement, being sexless doesn't equate to also wanting to date. So something doesn't add up.

No, Trojans are just that flimsy (and overpriced), because I haven't had any other brand of condom rip or break on me. Gave up on Trojan a little over five years ago and haven't had any condom problems since then. It's definitely nothing that I did that caused them to break.

And on the subject of condoms, I recommend to everyone who uses them to buy them in bulk. It's a lot cheaper and more convenient to buy a couple hundred or a thousand off the internet than it is to buy them in 12 packs from the store.

[Kusoyaro]

man but it's so dubious to have that package of ten thousand condoms arrive and then think back to that episode of of Seinfeld. "Oh, remember those condoms I gave you? Don't use them, they were bad."
Also what if the nice old lady from the apartment acroos the halll who gives you cookies and shit sees a box of thousands of condoms arrive at your door? What the FUCK what she think!?

[yakamashii]

Unless she's a baseball fan. Then it may.

And yes, you're correct. Still doesn't change the fact that he's #83 ;)

Oh, of course it doesn't change the fact. I just found it amazingly interesting. Looking at long pieces of wood and spherical flaps of leather gets me off, so I'm the wrong guy to ask about dating.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Oh, of course it doesn't change the fact. I just found it amazingly interesting. Looking at long pieces of wood and spherical flaps of leather gets me off, so I'm the wrong guy to ask about dating.
Reminds me of the line from Good Will Hunting when Morgan yells at Chuckie for beating off in his parents' bedroom with a little league glove for 'clean-up.'

Baseball is marvelous. Though not quite in that way.

[Decade]

Also what if the nice old lady from the apartment acroos the halll who gives you cookies and shit sees a box of thousands of condoms arrive at your door? What the FUCK what she think!?

:eyepop: That's so sane of an idea I think I just blew my own mind :eek:

I've thought about buying in bulk, but I'm a little paranoid on the idea. I've heard so many factors messing with how effective condoms are (don't leave them in the heat to long, dont leave em in your wallet, don't leave em in your car, etc etc) that I figure that if I just have a small amount at a time and just keep em in a relatively safe medicine cabinet I'm good. You don't want to have condoms for to long only to find out afterwards they dont work anymore.


Anyone ever try lifestyles condoms? A doctor gave me some for free after a physical once. I hate those things, they're like tight rubber bands that cut off all circulation :eek:

Fair enough I only had one size of em to try and they were obviously too small, but one experience was enough to keep me off em.

[Life25Karma]

:eyepop: That's so sane of an idea I think I just blew my own mind :eek:

I've thought about buying in bulk, but I'm a little paranoid on the idea. I've heard so many factors messing with how effective condoms are (don't leave them in the heat to long, dont leave em in your wallet, don't leave em in your car, etc etc) that I figure that if I just have a small amount at a time and just keep em in a relatively safe medicine cabinet I'm good. You don't want to have condoms for to long only to find out afterwards they dont work anymore.


Anyone ever try lifestyles condoms? A doctor gave me some for free after a physical once. I hate those things, they're like tight rubber bands that cut off all circulation :eek:

Fair enough I only had one size of em to try and they were obviously too small, but one experience was enough to keep me off em.



I hate lifestyle condoms. Trojan, my weapon of choice ^_^

[Decade]

As weird as it is, this just reminded me of a story I heard freshman year of High School.

After starting to study the Odyssey and wrapping up on the Trojan war, our history teacher looked at the class and started commending the greeks for using the trojan horse, seeing it as an ingenious idea.

Teacher: "It was SO ingenious, thats the reason why there's 'Trojan' condoms."
class: :confused:
Teacher: "Get it? They're used to invade the enemy."

...he was an odd one.

[Life25Karma]

As weird as it is, this just reminded me of a story I heard freshman year of High School.

After starting to study the Odyssey and wrapping up on the Trojan war, our history teacher looked at the class and started commending the greeks for using the trojan horse, seeing it as an ingenious idea.

Teacher: "It was SO ingenious, thats the reason why there's 'Trojan' condoms."
class: :confused:
Teacher: "Get it? They're used to invade the enemy."

...he was an odd one.

Damn..I heard of "Make Love, Not War" - but damn...dude aiming for mass genocide or some shit?

[Roxie]

No he's aiming to STOP mass genocide..
isn't "mass genocide" kinda redundant?

[Life25Karma]

No he's aiming to STOP mass genocide..
isn't "mass genocide" kinda redundant?

Mean cold, few hrs of sleep, and enough mint tea = after a while ya won't care.

The man said, "To invade the enemy" :boggled: ah fuck it I lost it heh

[Tenlaius]

ok now that sounds like a teacher the students could get a laugh from

[Trayal]

Bigger is not always better.
The thing is you have to know what to do in a fight when you're married. My wife will get snippy and say mean stuff. I've learned to shut up and never utter a nasty word in reply. She'll get upset and state she wants to go to Japan without me. I simply say:
"we're a family and we're staying one - I'll be where you are"
... and come the next day she'll apologise.
Perfect doesn't exist.

Word.™ It feels absurdly good to know I'm not the only one in the world dealing with this scenario. :rofl: My wife is exactly the same way. When upset, she gets spiteful and threatens to leave to China, which would be permanent because her green card hasn't arrived yet and she can't re-enter the US without it. I've found the same thing you have: don't let fights escalate when they happen, especially if she is the type to give nasty hurtful retorts. Battle spite with calm and logic, then wait till she's cooled down enough to start thinking rationally again.

The next day I always get treated with an apology plus a great dinner.

But damn is it hard to stay calm and not lash back. :gloomy:

[manrush]

Sounds like excellent advice. Some peolple can pull it off better than others (I have a short fuse), at least I think so.

[manrush]

I wanna hear his reasons. How are we supposed to decide whether they are potentially valid or ridiculous unless we know what they are.

Spill!

Why do you need to know? Do I ask any of you as to the reasons that you have sex? No. I don't. I just shrug my shoulders and go "meh, whatev" Can't you do the same for me.

[Life25Karma]

Word.™ It feels absurdly good to know I'm not the only one in the world dealing with this scenario. :rofl: My wife is exactly the same way. When upset, she gets spiteful and threatens to leave to China, which would be permanent because her green card hasn't arrived yet and she can't re-enter the US without it. I've found the same thing you have: don't let fights escalate when they happen, especially if she is the type to give nasty hurtful retorts. Battle spite with calm and logic, then wait till she's cooled down enough to start thinking rationally again.

The next day I always get treated with an apology plus a great dinner.

But damn is it hard to stay calm and not lash back. :gloomy:


Thats something I need to learn..and I'm so quick to retort..:gloomy:

[Pierrot le Fou]

Why do you need to know? Do I ask any of you as to the reasons that you have sex? No. I don't. I just shrug my shoulders and go "meh, whatev" Can't you do the same for me.
Because you're the one asking for advice, chief.

Do you also demand a doctor's diagnosis without letting him perform any tests? After all, you aren't asking him for HIS test results!

[Life25Karma]

Hmm ...knew this girl who use to complain her boyfriend didn't kiss..when asked why..he said he just doesn't...although I thought it was something else to that effect :eyepop:

[manrush]

Because you're the one asking for advice, chief.

Do you also demand a doctor's diagnosis without letting him perform any tests? After all, you aren't asking him for HIS test results!

Does it bother you that I don't have sex?

[manrush]

Because you're the one asking for advice, chief.

Do you also demand a doctor's diagnosis without letting him perform any tests? After all, you aren't asking him for HIS test results!

That's not even remotely similar to this.

[Life25Karma]

Does it bother you that I don't have sex?

Not in the least bit.
That is your choice, but you have to admit that saying "I don't have sex" is a bold statement, and will often get challenged, or questioned. Whatever your reason, that is all you buddy.

I fell for a girl who told me she wasn't going to hop in the sack till marriage..but being that I liked her a hella lot..I respected that..and even held back when all systems was go..

for all we know you could be in the similar situation with a lady friend of yours..

Now...thing is, you said, " I don't have sex" - okay um..elaborate. Thats like saying, " I don't fuc*." I'll get married, or I'll date, but lady, I'm not going to run through you like rush hour traffic during the AM. :eyepop:

Again..you have your reasons. :knockout:

[manrush]

Not in the least bit.
That is your choice, but you have to admit that saying "I don't have sex" is a bold statement, and will often get challenged, or questioned. Whatever your reason, that is all you buddy.

I fell for a girl who told me she wasn't going to hop in the sack till marriage..but being that I liked her a hella lot..I respected that..and even held back when all systems was go..

for all we know you could be in the similar situation with a lady friend of yours..

Now...thing is, you said, " I don't have sex" - okay um..elaborate. Thats like saying, " I don't fuc*." I'll get married, or I'll date, but lady, I'm not going to run through you like rush hour traffic during the AM. :eyepop:

Again..you have your reasons. :knockout:


True that. And I'll refrain from making bold statements in the future. I'm your typical abstinence-till-marriage type of guy. That's all there is to it. It' mostly because I just want to have better, more meaningful sex, which for me equals having sex when I'm married. Also, I heard that married couple sex is the most mind-blowing (and kinkiest) ever.

[Life25Karma]

True that. And I'll refrain from making bold statements in the future. I'm your typical abstinence-till-marriage type of guy. That's all there is to it. It' mostly because I just want to have better, more meaningful sex, which for me equals having sex when I'm married. Also, I heard that married couple sex is the most mind-blowing (and kinkiest) ever.


Nothing wrong with that. :)

[manrush]

Now that I've explained myself, we can get back to the actual topic, dating advice for the novices and the wannabe PUAs :D

[Pierrot le Fou]

No, we really can't, because in the real world sex does NOT get better if you wait.

Name one skill that you're better at the first time you try it than the 500th.

Got one yet?

C'mon, there must be SOME skill that you get worse at with practice! Right?!

No, there isn't, because through practice and experience you learn how to do things better. Ted Williams probably would have still been able to be a tremendous ballplayer without the baseball background he had, but it's unlikely he would have been better.

You may have a perfectly marvelous sex life. But it's doubtful that it will be better than if you'd had practice.

Because sex, unfortunately for you and the trillions of deluded folk out there believing the same things, does follow the same laws of reality as other physical skills.

[Life25Karma]

No, we really can't, because in the real world sex does NOT get better if you wait.

Name one skill that you're better at the first time you try it than the 500th.

Got one yet?

C'mon, there must be SOME skill that you get worse at with practice! Right?!

No, there isn't, because through practice and experience you learn how to do things better. Ted Williams probably would have still been able to be a tremendous ballplayer without the baseball background he had, but it's unlikely he would have been better.

You may have a perfectly marvelous sex life. But it's doubtful that it will be better than if you'd had practice.

Because sex, unfortunately for you and the trillions of deluded folk out there believing the same things, does follow the same laws of reality as other physical skills.


Got to know how to "move it move it"

[Plekto]

The only thing that I can think of that's simmilar is kissing. Your first kiss is amazing. But make no mistake, ANY sex is better than not, up until something like 80-90 years old/when you get seriously decrepit and can't hardly move.

I never understood this Neo-Puritanical outlook on the human body and sex. Shoot, you should go see the picutres of that temple in India that's dedicated to sex. Little reliefs all over the entire thing - thousands and thousands of figures having sex in different ways. And it predates most of Western Civilization. Maybe they know something that we don't?

If you love someone, shoot, feel no fear in showing it. Life's way WAY too short as it is to make yourself sexually frustrated.

P.S. And go toss those antiquated motions out. Go read the Kama Sutra or something and get a tiny bit closer to enlightenment ;) It's actually an interesting bit of reading. No, really. Lol. The pictures and positions and such aside, it gives you a completely fdifferent non-Western view of sex and relationships that predates Christianity as well.

[stsparky]

I'm in the "get your bad fucking outta the way first" camp. It's idiotic not to. Teaching virgins to fuck gets old real fast. Your intentions are misguided. And you don't want to disappoint anyone come the honeymoon. That's bad form.

I have to say that while I've found great satisfaction in being married, it's not the wild kinky sex you're hoping for. Honest. I spent 20+ years as a playboy. I can't think of any continent I haven't had a woman from save Antarctica.

What you don't grasp is how unnatural you're being with your goals. I suspect it's because you're young. Communication is key. Telling a girl who is interested in you that fucking is not on the menu will allow her to know right away that you're acting abnormal.

I hope this is not due to some ridiculous religious nonsense. Because all the asshole preachers who've teach abstainance never practice it.

[Pierrot le Fou]

How the Hell can you provide dating advice for someone who doesn't want to get their willy wet? It's silly! The point of dating is to get someone who you have a good enough rapport with to enjoy life both inside and outside the bedroom -- not to condemn them to a sexless existence until you decide to tie the knot.

Your expectations of a relationship are not standard, as stsparky said, and therefore suggesting that we advise you as we'd advise anyone would be ignoring that fact.

[Psychochink]

I'm your typical abstinence-till-marriage type of guy. That's all there is to it. It' mostly because I just want to have better, more meaningful sex, which for me equals having sex when I'm married. Also, I heard that married couple sex is the most mind-blowing (and kinkiest) ever.

So, for the record, your decision to remain chaste until you are married is because you want to have "better, more meaningful sex."

Is that your only reason, or are you glossing over something else (e.g. religious aspect) because you think we're going to rip you to shreds? [NB: PLF will probably rip you to shreds no matter what, but don't take it personally, he does that to everyone. And he tends to give good advice while he's doing it.]

If so, don't. If not - well we still need more information. What do you mean by 'meaningful', for example. Also, what are your reasons for abstaining from masturbation?

Bottom line is, nobody here has any personal investment in your sex life. We couldn't care less if you never have sex, or if you choose to only have S&M sex with midgets while dressed as a clown. But as a general rule we do like to explore and debate all the facets of a discussion. In a perfect world the collective experience of this board assists people to critically examine their own beliefs and perhaps come up with a new perspective.

We can't do that unless you give us all the facts, and your reasoning behind them. If the two reasons that you've listed above are everything, then I and others may have a ton to say, and that may help you achieve your ultimate goal of better and meaningful sex.

If they're not, then you're wasting both your and our time by not setting all your cards on the table. In either case, we need more information.

And at the end of the day, you should want to critically examine your outlook - because beliefs that are not examined are worthless.

Let's take religion. I'm not religious, and I dislike organised religion of any sort. I've met many religious people that annoy me - not because of their beliefs, but because of their close-mindedness. I have never, however, met a single Jesuit priest that I haven't respected. You know why?

Because before a Jesuit is ordained, he must first undertake 2-4 years to gain a good grounding in philosophy (depending on prior education) and have attained a four-year Bachelor degree. He must also have completed four years of theology study. Many Jesuits hold a Masters in Theology as well as a second Masters or Doctorate in a completely seperate field. This is all before ordination.

As such, these men have spent years critically challenging their beliefs, and the entire process before ordination is designed to ensure that their faith is the result of much thought, introspection and challenge, both by themselves and by others. They are also willing to debate it intelligently with a heathen like me.

While I don't agree with them, that's the kind of faith I can respect - but I do not respect blind faith of any kind. You see the point? [the Jesuits are the largest order of the Catholic church, btw - this ain't a fringe thing]

While I've deliberately used the Jesuits as an example because I strongly suspect you're 'hiding' religious reasons from us, the point is the same regardless. No belief in anything, whether that be God, gravity or your own ability to make muffins, is worth anything unless it's tested...continually. Deciding on your stance and refusing to discuss or debate it is the worst type of ignorance - willful ignorance.

Now according to both your tagline and signature, you hate stupidity. In that case, indulge in the type of behaviour that intelligent men engage in, and debate and discuss your stance.

Right, now that I’ve written a long-winded diatribe on why it’s good to discuss things (which should have been unnecessary) can we please actually discuss it?

Edit: Plus, I notice you're an Aussie. You're letting the team down, gotta put these Yanks in their place. C'mon, it's hard enough battling against Jay's ramblings while trying to establish that we are their intellectual superiors, don't join the Dark Side too. Hey, vernacular check - is it offensive to call Americans from certain parts of the U.S., Yanks?


[Crap, now having said that, I personally won’t be part of it, because it’s almost time to go home. I may well chime in on Monday, however, depending on where we are.]

[Black Dog]

Practice makes perfect !

[Pierrot le Fou]

Hey, vernacular check - is it offensive to call Americans from certain parts of the U.S., Yanks?
As long as the certain parts whose people you call Yanks are in the Northeast, not especially. If you call a southerner a Yank, you may have a problem.

[Masa the Masta]

dating advice for the novices and the wannabe PUAs :D


For the former, clearly this thread is everyone vs. you, at the very least trying to understand your position.


And as far as the latter goes, I won't even go there. :watson:

[Decade]

I have to say that while I've found great satisfaction in being married, it's not the wild kinky sex you're hoping for. Honest. I spent 20+ years as a playboy. I can't think of any continent I haven't had a woman from save Antarctica.

...would you please adopt me? :innocent:

[japanat]

I'm your typical abstinence-till-marriage type of guy. That's all there is to it. It' mostly because I just want to have better, more meaningful sex, which for me equals having sex when I'm married. Also, I heard that married couple sex is the most mind-blowing (and kinkiest) ever.Thank you. That's what we needed to hear. I have had many friends who shared your beliefs, and I will respect your belief, and not push you.

But I do have one suggestion, related to what Plekto and St. Sparky;) have already said: Do your wife a favor, and get a copy of the KamaSutra or The Joy of Sex, and STUDY the damn thing. No need to subject both of yourselves to boring sex. Remember, the Bible doesn't have any injunctions against enjoying sex within the marriage at all.

Now one question: if you don't have sex before marriage, how could married sex be the "most mind-blowing (and kinkiest) ever"? And even if it were.... HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

[Jetsetlemming]

Sounds like whoever put the abstinence idea in his head passed along that line. :watson:
Also, many christians have strange hangups about things never mentioned in the bible, like sex being a bad thing even in marriage, and explitives, and rock and roll. :P

[manrush]

So, for the record, your decision to remain chaste until you are married is because you want to have "better, more meaningful sex."

Is that your only reason, or are you glossing over something else (e.g. religious aspect) because you think we're going to rip you to shreds? [NB: PLF will probably rip you to shreds no matter what, but don't take it personally, he does that to everyone. And he tends to give good advice while he's doing it.]

If so, don't. If not - well we still need more information. What do you mean by 'meaningful', for example. Also, what are your reasons for abstaining from masturbation?

Bottom line is, nobody here has any personal investment in your sex life. We couldn't care less if you never have sex, or if you choose to only have S&M sex with midgets while dressed as a clown. But as a general rule we do like to explore and debate all the facets of a discussion. In a perfect world the collective experience of this board assists people to critically examine their own beliefs and perhaps come up with a new perspective.

We can't do that unless you give us all the facts, and your reasoning behind them. If the two reasons that you've listed above are everything, then I and others may have a ton to say, and that may help you achieve your ultimate goal of better and meaningful sex.

If they're not, then you're wasting both your and our time by not setting all your cards on the table. In either case, we need more information.

And at the end of the day, you should want to critically examine your outlook - because beliefs that are not examined are worthless.

Let's take religion. I'm not religious, and I dislike organised religion of any sort. I've met many religious people that annoy me - not because of their beliefs, but because of their close-mindedness. I have never, however, met a single Jesuit priest that I haven't respected. You know why?

Because before a Jesuit is ordained, he must first undertake 2-4 years to gain a good grounding in philosophy (depending on prior education) and have attained a four-year Bachelor degree. He must also have completed four years of theology study. Many Jesuits hold a Masters in Theology as well as a second Masters or Doctorate in a completely seperate field. This is all before ordination.

As such, these men have spent years critically challenging their beliefs, and the entire process before ordination is designed to ensure that their faith is the result of much thought, introspection and challenge, both by themselves and by others. They are also willing to debate it intelligently with a heathen like me.

While I don't agree with them, that's the kind of faith I can respect - but I do not respect blind faith of any kind. You see the point? [the Jesuits are the largest order of the Catholic church, btw - this ain't a fringe thing]

While I've deliberately used the Jesuits as an example because I strongly suspect you're 'hiding' religious reasons from us, the point is the same regardless. No belief in anything, whether that be God, gravity or your own ability to make muffins, is worth anything unless it's tested...continually. Deciding on your stance and refusing to discuss or debate it is the worst type of ignorance - willful ignorance.

Now according to both your tagline and signature, you hate stupidity. In that case, indulge in the type of behaviour that intelligent men engage in, and debate and discuss your stance.

Right, now that I’ve written a long-winded diatribe on why it’s good to discuss things (which should have been unnecessary) can we please actually discuss it?

Edit: Plus, I notice you're an Aussie. You're letting the team down, gotta put these Yanks in their place. C'mon, it's hard enough battling against Jay's ramblings while trying to establish that we are their intellectual superiors, don't join the Dark Side too. Hey, vernacular check - is it offensive to call Americans from certain parts of the U.S., Yanks?


[Crap, now having said that, I personally won’t be part of it, because it’s almost time to go home. I may well chime in on Monday, however, depending on where we are.]


That's only a small part of it, and completely irrelevant, in my opinion. It's a choice I made on my own.

[manrush]

Sounds like whoever put the abstinence idea in his head passed along that line. :watson:
Also, many christians have strange hangups about things never mentioned in the bible, like sex being a bad thing even in marriage, and explitives, and rock and roll. :P

Sex is not a bad thing. Maybe I spoke too soon about the whole "marriage has the best sex," but no-one put the abstinence idea in my head. I made the choice completely on my own.

:bang:

[manrush]

Thank you. That's what we needed to hear. I have had many friends who shared your beliefs, and I will respect your belief, and not push you.

But I do have one suggestion, related to what Plekto and St. Sparky;) have already said: Do your wife a favor, and get a copy of the KamaSutra or The Joy of Sex, and STUDY the damn thing. No need to subject both of yourselves to boring sex. Remember, the Bible doesn't have any injunctions against enjoying sex within the marriage at all.

Now one question: if you don't have sex before marriage, how could married sex be the "most mind-blowing (and kinkiest) ever"? And even if it were.... HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
.
Right, I spoke too soon about the whole "marriage has the best sex ever" thing. I just don't think whether I have sex or not should be relevant to the whole dating experience

[manrush]

Can we PLEEEEASE move on? Sheesh, you guys are as stubborn as me.:bang:

[Masa the Masta]

Also, instead of posting one post after another, try using the edit feature and consolidating everything into one post. :)


Besides, it's hard to give advice on dating to someone who won't really go past second base. :/ A lot of what's been said on this thread (save the sex arguments) are pretty damn good guidelines that should be used in general..the rest (like your personality and what kinds of girls you're into) is up to you.

[Televisions_Nick]

Date girls with impeccable feet.

[manrush]

I'm in the "get your bad fucking outta the way first" camp. It's idiotic not to. Teaching virgins to fuck gets old real fast. Your intentions are misguided. And you don't want to disappoint anyone come the honeymoon. That's bad form.

I have to say that while I've found great satisfaction in being married, it's not the wild kinky sex you're hoping for. Honest. I spent 20+ years as a playboy. I can't think of any continent I haven't had a woman from save Antarctica.

What you don't grasp is how unnatural you're being with your goals. I suspect it's because you're young. Communication is key. Telling a girl who is interested in you that fucking is not on the menu will allow her to know right away that you're acting abnormal.

I hope this is not due to some ridiculous religious nonsense. Because all the asshole preachers who've teach abstainance never practice it.

If the woman that marries me loves me, she won't care that my first time is with her. I don't see abstinence as nonsense. My reason is, in part, religious. But religion factors little into my choice. How is that acting abnormal if I tell a girl that fucking is off the menu?

And don't EVER tell me what's unnatural for me and what's not. It pisses me off when people think that they know what's good for me. Thanks, but I'm not the type who likes being patronised.

Are people really intolerant of those that don't conform to society these days?

[Televisions_Nick]

If the woman that marries me loves me, she won't care that my first time is with her. I don't see abstinence as nonsense. My reason is, in part, religious. But religion factors little into my choice. How is that acting abnormal if I tell a girl that fucking is off the menu?

And don't EVER tell me what's unnatural for me and what's not. It pisses me off when people think that they know what's good for me.

Prediction: At least 60% of the women you manage to convince to date you will either leave you for another man or cheat on you.

[manrush]

Okay, okay, I cave. My decision was stupid and childish anyways. The first girl I date is goin' to be stuffed the very next day.

[Fred]

I think baby Jesus is crying right now.

You wanted dating advice. Most people here are advising you to have sex with the people you date.

Ok. You don’t like that advice. So, what is it you really want to know?

[Plekto]

If the woman that marries me loves me, she won't care that my first time is with her. I don't see abstinence as nonsense. My reason is, in part, religious. But religion factors little into my choice. How is that acting abnormal if I tell a girl that fucking is off the menu?
***
I just wanted to say that while I resepct your beliefs(I'm a LOT less in your face than most of the people here, btw...), the expectation that your future wife also be a virgin is untennable in practice. In fact, I recently ran across a survey that had all ethnicities, legal ages, and religions. Only something like 2-3% waitied until marriage to have sex. None of the factors made a difference at all, as well.

We are hard-wired to want and enjoy sex. So even if you don't want sex, don't SAY it's off the table. She'll not understand at all, most likely, because the *potential* for foreplay(of all kinds) and sex is exactly what you are doing when you date. Sizing up a person as a potential mate.

[Decade]

And don't EVER tell me what's unnatural for me and what's not. It pisses me off when people think that they know what's good for me. Thanks, but I'm not the type who likes being patronised.

Are people really intolerant of those that don't conform to society these days?
I'm not gonna knock you on no sex, but don't you think that's a little funny to say you don't like others telling you whats good for you when you say the decision is based at least in part on religious beliefs?

[Trump]

BTW, your marraige will not end well if you wait until marraige only to find out there are certain... incompatabilities.

[Angelyne]

mAn1AkAl, if you find yourself in a relationship where you love your partner enough to marry her, then it's going to be very, very difficult to remain abstinent until marriage. It's very easy to say "I'm waiting until marriage" now and even while you're dating, but it's not going to be easy when you're in a serious relationship. I'm not encouraging you to give up on this goal of yours--I completely understand wanting to wait until you find someone you love. But don't let this decision keep you from being in a loving, fulfilling relationship, or worse, don't let it trap you into an unhappy marriage.

You say you're doing this for religious reasons. A good place for you to start dating would be within your religion. Are there any clubs or organizations associated with your religious group that you could join? Any sort of social activity you could participate in? Those are good ways to start meeting people. Maybe even look for an internet community who shares similar ideas--they'll likely be able to give you more specific advice than people here (nothing against this board, but not many people here understand where you are coming from).

[xinster]

Prediction: At least 60% of the women you manage to convince to date you will either leave you for another man or cheat on you.

thats how it usually goes eh

[manrush]

I'm not gonna knock you on no sex, but don't you think that's a little funny to say you don't like others telling you whats good for you when you say the decision is based at least in part on religious beliefs?

A very miniscule part of this has to do with religion. Most of my choice is ON MY OWN FREE WILL!!!! :bang:

Now can we FINALLY move away from me and on to the relevant topic (notice how I changed the starting post to include EVERYONE who is just beginning to date?)

[Random]

The problem is that all the advice people are giving is that you _should_ be having sex while dating, and that honestly there's not much point looking for advice and then yelling when people say that.
It's kind of like asking about what ammunition would be best to kill a duck, but then saying you never plan to shoot a gun.

..That's a really bad metaphor, but hopefully you get where I'm coming from.

Also: Advice for everyone in general is going to be mostly advice that involves having sex dating. Honestly, lots of the advice already given is applicable to either scenario.

[Firefly]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/HowTo:Get_Laid

Why not? End of discussion.

Now, more discussion:

Those few who have emerged from the state of laid have all tried to describe the extent of the incredible pleasure, and failed. Oscar Wilde's famous anecdote tries to explain it thus:
HowTo
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series. See more HowTos

Alright, imagine the most pleasureable thing you have ever experienced. Now double it. Now times it together with the sum of all the rest of the pleasurable things you have ever experienced in your life. Now commit suicide. You're not even close.

Wikipedia defines orgasm thus:

amazing, astonishing, astounding, bang-up, best, breathtaking, cool, crack, dilly, doozie, extravagant, fab, fantastic, fictitious, first class, gone, greatest, groovy, immense, in spades, inconceivable, incredible, legendary, marvelous, mind-blowing, off the hook, out-of-this-world, outrageous, peachy, phenomenal, primo, prodigious, rad, remarkable,smashing,spectacular, striking, stupendous, super, superb, terrific, top drawer, tops, unbelievable, unreal, wicked, wondrous.

...before inducing the blue screen of death in your computer.

>_>

[manrush]

The problem is that all the advice people are giving is that you _should_ be having sex while dating, and that honestly there's not much point looking for advice and then yelling when people say that.
It's kind of like asking about what ammunition would be best to kill a duck, but then saying you never plan to shoot a gun.

..That's a really bad metaphor, but hopefully you get where I'm coming from.

Also: Advice for everyone in general is going to be mostly advice that involves having sex dating. Honestly, lots of the advice already given is applicable to either scenario.

It's not the same thing. I was asking about dating advice. I don't assume that sex is involved. The advice is good, seriously. What really gets me "yelling" is when people judge me because I don't have sex. Advice is fine.

Here's the deal; If people leave me alone about not having sex and just give dating/sex advice to the rest of the un-initiated out there, then this will be my last post in this thread. I will not ask anyting else in this thread nor respond. (I will still be posting in other threads and subforums, though. Just not in the "Dating tips" thread).

[stsparky]

Dude.:frypan:

Treat her as an equal.
Tell her what stuff you like.
Ask her what she likes.
Listen and then comment.
Ask her if she wants to go 'Dutch' on any expensive treats.
If she says 'drop trousers, sailor' - say yes.
Avoid acting abnormal or antisocial.

[japanat]

Maniakal, and others,

There are no tried-and-true dating rules that apply to everyone. I will tell you what worked well for me, though.

1) Most important: talk to her. And when she responds, listen to her answer and respond to it. There is nothing more awkward than 2-sentence conversations.
BAD "What do you like to do?"
"I like _____."
Awkward silence while trying to think of the next thing to say.

GOOD "What do you like to do?"
"I like _____."
"Yeah? How long have you been ___?"
Etc, etc.

2) Since your goal isn't getting laid, that takes a lot of the pressure off. Just enjoy it, like you would when hanging out with your buds. After all, in a true long-term relationship, your partner/spouse is probably going to be your best friend.

Personally, on first dates I liked low-key things like picnics, BBQs with friends, video get-togethers. Going to flea markets, checking out local fairs. My college had outdoor concerts on Wed nights in summer, that was a good one. I didn't like the typical dinner&dancing date. While I'm not, if both you and she are anime geeks, head to a Con.

[Jay]

Excusing japanat and stsparky, can we move away from the dating-always-leads-to-sex-and-here's-how-to-do-it subject manner? Maniakal clearly does NOT want to have sex until a certain point in his life, and that's fair enough. You're all intelligent people - give him tips on how to wine and dine a girl without the need to take her home and fuck her until she cries.

It's not that hard.

[Televisions_Nick]

One wines and dines a woman without the need to take her home and give her the old in-out the same way one wines and dines a woman with the intention of taking her home and giving her the old in-out.

[Jay]

Okay, let's drop the jargon. :P

Really, does there HAVE to be the word 'sex' involved in a simple date? Does there really have to be? Why can't he just take a girl to one of those places that japanat listed above, or to somewhere of his own choosing, and enjoy her company?

We've all become a society of lechers. Where's the relaxed no-pressure fun gone?

Edit: Or maybe we were already a society of lechers who beat women over the head with big sticks and dragged them back to the cave. Point is, it doesn't always have to involve sex.

[Life25Karma]

Okay, let's drop the jargon. :P

Really, does there HAVE to be the word 'sex' involved in a simple date? Does there really have to be? Why can't he just take a girl to one of those places that japanat listed above, or to somewhere of his own choosing, and enjoy her company?

We've all become a society of lechers. Where's the relaxed no-pressure fun gone?

Edit: Or maybe we were already a society of lechers who beat women over the head with big sticks and dragged them back to the cave. Point is, it doesn't always have to involve sex.


.....no one said he couldn't :)
Its up to him what he does in the end.

Column A, Column B shit.

[Roxie]

Does it bother you that I don't have sex?
Not I, but it bothers me you plan to stop masturbating. It sounds as if you have some aversion to it or you may think it's wrong or something.


Are people really intolerant of those that don't conform to society these days?
It's not really "society" as it is human nature.

[PopCulturePooka]

I for one think Maniakal is ok in his belief to not ahve sex before marriage.

Thats why my dating tip for you MR is this:

When you get her home, fuck her in the ass. HARD.

Or let her anally penetrate you with a strap on.

Win win

[Masa the Masta]

Okay, let's drop the jargon. :P

Really, does there HAVE to be the word 'sex' involved in a simple date? Does there really have to be? Why can't he just take a girl to one of those places that japanat listed above, or to somewhere of his own choosing, and enjoy her company?

We've all become a society of lechers. Where's the relaxed no-pressure fun gone?

Edit: Or maybe we were already a society of lechers who beat women over the head with big sticks and dragged them back to the cave. Point is, it doesn't always have to involve sex.


lol irony



I love how Jay is the voice of reason in a thread that would normally oblige Jay to be otherwise. :knockout:

[manrush]

I for one think Maniakal is ok in his belief to not ahve sex before marriage.

Thats why my dating tip for you MR is this:

When you get her home, fuck her in the ass. HARD.

Or let her anally penetrate you with a strap on.

Win win

With anal lube or without it???:rofl:

I gotta watch more gh3y pr0n in order to learn about this:D

And this is my absolutely final post in this topic. Goodnight everyone, and thanks for the advice:clap:

[stsparky]

I - for one - am willing to ignore our Aussie Manical Russian and simply give standard tips. But the whole goal I see behind dating is the hooking up for sex. I feel those of you who are coddling him in saying "oh he's acting 'religious,' 'special' or 'socially-retarded' and behaving boldly in claiming he wants to be a virgin for his poor sweet 'virginal' bride are neglecting that he has an unhealthy mindset. It puts horrible pressure on him later on. It will be disastrous for his hopes come the deed. So I ask you all to speak truth to him. I can appreciate that he's ignorant of the facts. I know he's 16-17. We all start out from there.

As a compromise to his tender sensitivities I'd suggest he find a girl who is sympathetic to his desires to hookup with. The two of them can practice sex with each other with the goal that they marry at a later point. Platonic dating is for tweens not teens. So let's focus on making the OP's life better by not allowing his willfully fatuousness to progress. What do you think he needs to do?

- Sparky

PS There already is a PUA thread elsewhere on the boards.

[Jay]

Good call Spark.

[h2orowe]

PS There already is a PUA thread elsewhere on the boards.
I always try to bump that and have it get going, but no one ever keeps it up -_-; It dies too quick.

[Life25Karma]

lol irony



I love how Jay is the voice of reason in a thread that would normally oblige Jay to be otherwise. :knockout:


Glad to see I'm not the only one that thought the sky was falling.

[Digital Masta]

I - for one - am willing to ignore our Aussie Manical Russian and simply give standard tips. But the whole goal I see behind dating is the hooking up for sex. I feel those of you who are coddling him in saying "oh he's acting 'religious,' 'special' or 'socially-retarded' and behaving boldly in claiming he wants to be a virgin for his poor sweet 'virginal' bride are neglecting that he has an unhealthy mindset. It puts horrible pressure on him later on. It will be disastrous for his hopes come the deed. So I ask you all to speak truth to him. I can appreciate that he's ignorant of the facts. I know he's 16-17. We all start out from there.

As a compromise to his tender sensitivities I'd suggest he find a girl who is sympathetic to his desires to hookup with. The two of them can practice sex with each other with the goal that they marry at a later point. Platonic dating is for tweens not teens. So let's focus on making the OP's life better by not allowing his willfully fatuousness to progress. What do you think he needs to do?

- Sparky

PS There already is a PUA thread elsewhere on the boards.


Like I always say...pre-marital sex is practice...it would suck to to get married and not really know wtf you are doing, no?

[Jay]

Yeah but... that's his call, ya know? I'm sure he knows that if he does wait until marriage he'll be absolutely horrible.

Then again, we all know one member of this board who was determined to wait until marriage and didn't last, and I know another ex-member who's finding it very difficult to last, so we'll just have to wait and see whether our Rushin' friend makes it or not. :D

[Masa the Masta]

To the OP:


Don't masturbate. At all. Then go out and meet women after like a 3 week fapping fasting, and tell me you have no interest in sharing some love. :watson:


I get this after a 3 day period, shit.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

To the OP:


Don't masturbate. At all. Then go out and meet women after like a 3 week fapping fasting, and tell me you have no interest in sharing some love. :watson:


I get this after a 3 day period, shit.

Doesn't that make you last less longer at sex?

[Masa the Masta]

Who says sex ends after you cum?

I can think of a few things to do while waiting out my refractory period. Gimme 20 minutes.



:/ Geez..

[Digital Masta]

Who says sex ends after you cum?

I can think of a few things to do while waiting out my refractory period. Gimme 20 minutes.



:/ Geez..

seperate the the bust from the orgasm = all night champion.

[Plekto]

Though, to be honest, you DO need to work out - it takes a good deal of stamina to last an hour or more, depending on how much works she puts into it.

[Masa the Masta]

Well, I always found standing doggy style (I would say rear-entry, but I wouldn't want it to be confused with anal) to be least exherting, plus it works really well.

With her on top, she can go at the pace she desires, and you have the option of either helping her from below or just kicking back and enjoying the show.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I find that teenagers greatly underestimate the effect that the end of adolescence has on your hormones and your ambitious plans for your sex life.

In short, you're young, wait a few years.

[h2orowe]

Why should I wait a few years, damn it! I want to get laid now, tbfh. But not really. But half really. But fully really. But yeah.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I'm not saying it gets better. Perhaps I'm abnormal (I doubt it), but the concept of going twice, or making love for hours on a regular or even semi-regular basis does not appeal to me as much as extra sleep or a baseball game. Three years ago, not quite. Now? Certainly.

[Life25Karma]

Balancing the diet out a little helps with stamina. :ninja:

[Masa the Masta]

I find that teenagers greatly underestimate the effect that the end of adolescence has on your hormones and your ambitious plans for your sex life.

In short, you're young, wait a few years.


If my parents are indicative of what's to come, then I'm afraid of what kind of sexual beast I'm slowly becoming.


My needs haven't exactly been waning, either.

[Fred]

I used to be able to do it all night. Now, it takes all night.

[Life25Karma]

I used to be able to do it all night. Now, it takes all night.

Hehe

Channel that inner demon :D

[h2orowe]

If my parents are indicative of what's to come, then I'm afraid of what kind of sexual beast I'm slowly becoming.


My needs haven't exactly been waning, either.
Lawl. My mom wants sex, but her boyfriend would rather fap to 12 year olds. Yeah ._. I didn't need to know that but my mom says a lot of things I don't need to know.

[stsparky]

Now that we've either lost MR or have him straightened out - let's proceed.

Sucessful dating is about getting information and acting on it.

How would you find out about someone, who you're interested in and want to fuck, in a non-creepy way?

[h2orowe]

Approaching them, talking to them, and maybe doing an instant date and getting coffee tbfh.

[japanat]

I used to be able to do it all night. Now, it takes all night.
I used to be able to do it all year....

[Life25Karma]

I used to be able to do it all year....

Ha my motor stays running!

Rooom Rooom Rooom!

Okay all sillyness aside...



:stirthepo(Good Diet)+:meditate:(Some Form Of Medition)=:karate:(Energy)

[Fred]

Ahh...the days of yore.

[manrush]

I - for one - am willing to ignore our Aussie Manical Russian and simply give standard tips. But the whole goal I see behind dating is the hooking up for sex. I feel those of you who are coddling him in saying "oh he's acting 'religious,' 'special' or 'socially-retarded' and behaving boldly in claiming he wants to be a virgin for his poor sweet 'virginal' bride are neglecting that he has an unhealthy mindset. It puts horrible pressure on him later on. It will be disastrous for his hopes come the deed. So I ask you all to speak truth to him. I can appreciate that he's ignorant of the facts. I know he's 16-17. We all start out from there.

As a compromise to his tender sensitivities I'd suggest he find a girl who is sympathetic to his desires to hookup with. The two of them can practice sex with each other with the goal that they marry at a later point. Platonic dating is for tweens not teens. So let's focus on making the OP's life better by not allowing his willfully fatuousness to progress. What do you think he needs to do?

- Sparky

PS There already is a PUA thread elsewhere on the boards.

You love patronising people, don't you. I'm 20, not 16. I don't have tender sensitivities.

[Pierrot le Fou]

You love patronising people, don't you. I'm 20, not 16.
You love acting like a naïve 16 year-old, don't you. You're 20, not 16.

[manrush]

You love acting like a naïve 16 year-old, don't you. You're 20, not 16.

I do not act naive!!! If I was naive, I would think that no-one has sex. Lots of people have sex, I see nothing wrong with it. I just choose not to have sex.

You know what, just fuck it. I cave. My position is completely indefensible. You guys succeeded in talking some sense into me.

[Angelyne]

Oh no, not this shit again

[manrush]

Ooops. My foot-in-mouth disease must have acted up again.

I'm too stubborn for my own good and I have trouble backing off from an argument that I have already lost

Please someone hit me really hard on the head.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I do not act naive!!! If I was naive, I would think that no-one has sex. Lots of people have sex, I see nothing wrong with it. I just choose not to have sex.

You know what, just fuck it. I cave. My position is completely indefensible. You guys succeeded in talking some sense into me.
That's the spirit. Now go out and get laid.

[manrush]

Sorry for my over-reaction to your comments. I tend to get angry when people tell me how I should live my life. I asked for advice, not lectures. Nothing personal. Once again, sorry for the overreaction.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Sorry for my over-reaction to your comments. I tend to get angry when people tell me how I should live my life. I asked for advice, not lectures. Nothing personal. Once again, sorry for the overreaction.
No problem. People who display a complete inability to make adult decisions tend to lash out when they're delivered common sensical advice that they should have learned in their teens. The fact that you're able to recognize that you're completely incapable is a start.

Oh, wait, were you being sarcastic? Go drink bleach.

[manrush]

To the moderators: is there any way that I could be prevented from accessing and posting on this thread? Please ban me from this thread (I'm serious).

[Plekto]

Oh, that's going in the quote file for sure...

:)

[manrush]

Oh, that's going in the quote file for sure...

:)

What's going into the quote file?

[Roxie]

learning when not to speak is a very important lesson.

[manrush]

I have trouble with that.

[Masa the Masta]

If you're not gonna get laid for the life of you...


Go get your dick sucked. You're still a virgin, and its a method to build all the social and intimacy skills necessary to do the dirty (hey, it's better than nothing) if your moral compass is bitching at you to not go south.