Dating tips

[Jetsetlemming]

I do not act naive!!!
The three exclaimation points after it make you seem 12 instead. ;) "I AM NOT IMMATURE *squeek!*"

[Kyletherealninja]

Wow. You guys are freakin' brutal.

OP9: Serious Business.

[Life25Karma]

I was surprised to see this thread up again....
dude..burry the hatchet..:eyepop:

[manrush]

Ok. I'll try. I REALLY need to be banned from posting on this thread (is there any way for the mods to prevent me from accessing the "dating tips" thread?)

[Micah the Great]

I think i can help.

1. Get on computer.
2. Log onto OP9.
3. Click dating tips.
4. Stab hand w/ knife.
5. ??????????
6. Profit!

[stsparky]

We now know that Micah and Manical Russian need to whisper sweet nothings to each other over PMs. MR's best plan is playing "hard to get" and being overly dense in regards to getting girls to even speak to him. It's clear he'll die a virgin by dint of stubbornness and determination. Kudos to him then. Micah clearly wants to alter that destiny. I think he may want to mount and stuff MR for his beloved Creationist Museum but maybe not in that order. :sarcasm: :eek:
Aside to Manical Russian:
You don't act 20. The American response to that if true would be - did you ride the short bus to school? But as you're an Australian - I'm perplexed. How did you end up so socially inept? I thought Oz has a fairly relaxed and liberal society. The skinny is: Any woman you'd be attempting to date wants sex. It's one of the criteria she'll judge your fitness on. I suspect your actions at school and Church have marked you as being completely non-date-able. I recommend re-inventing yourself. Or you could be an exhibit for Micah.

- Sparky :us:

[Plekto]

My suggestion: Go get a bass. Learn to play it. Let your hair grow long and get an attitude.

That's a *proper* re-invention of your image. :cool:

Nice guys really DO finish last. If they finish at all.

[manrush]

My suggestion: Go get a bass. Learn to play it. Let your hair grow long and get an attitude.

That's a *proper* re-invention of your image. :cool:

Nice guys really DO finish last. If they finish at all.

Who said anything about me being nice? In fact, I'm a total prick.

[Plekto]

All the better. ;) But seriously - bass is cool and attracts lots of women. Plus, it's a blast to play.

Religion can honestly wait until you have your midlife crisis.

[manrush]

All the better. ;) But seriously - bass is cool and attracts lots of women. Plus, it's a blast to play.

Religion can honestly wait until you have your midlife crisis.

Is it better than the guitar? I've had long hair before (not going back there again).

Is there a way to grow your hair long and not have it look completely retarted?

[Kyletherealninja]

Make sure you go with a Rickenbacker, though.

[SlickWilly440]

Is it still customary for the guy to pay for everything? I don't see the point in paying for everything, especially when you think about a relationship as an equal partnership....a team effort where everyone pitches in their part.

Besides, what is the point of paying for everything when you're not guaranteed something in return.

"Dating is like prostitution except you don't always get what you paid for"

[Roxie]

Uh, no. Dating is not like prostitution.

Prostitution is like prostitution.

You pay the resturaunt for the food. She doesn't owe you anything for that.

My rule is, "the one who asks, pays"...this can also flow into the relationship.

[SlickWilly440]

^
So the man always pays because it's customary for the man to ask and not the woman?

[Roxie]

I've asked and I've got girlfriends who've asked, so no.

[SlickWilly440]

^
So if the girl pays, then wouldn't the guy feel guilty for not paying, plus is hurts his masculinity for not taking care of the bill.

[Knife-Fingered Sue Sanderson]

^
So the man always pays because it's customary for the man to ask and not the woman?


Yup :)

Just kidding. Of course, I always offer to go Dutch unless I have a little extra money and I feel like treating, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate it when the guy pays. I had a boyfriend who was constantly broke, and I had to pay for the two of us ALL THE TIME if I wanted to eat something other than chef boyardee or do something besides watch CSI on TV all night. When we were studying together in Tokyo I actually had to pay for our own love hotels, and I didn't even want to have sex with him! (He's not that attractive, and not that great in bed (I was dating him because our personalities really clicked))

Once we broke up and I started dating again, it was such a breath of fresh air, like "Oh, this is what it's like to be someone's date..."

[Roxie]

^
So if the girl pays, then wouldn't the guy feel guilty for not paying, plus is hurts his masculinity for not taking care of the bill.
I'm not a man, I don't know. But he shouldn't feel emasculated b/c a girl asked him out and is willing to pay.l

[Plekto]

Is it better than the guitar? I've had long hair before (not going back there again).

Is there a way to grow your hair long and not have it look completely retarted?

No. But, the trick is to just deal with it and get it trimmed every few weeks as it grows out. After a year or so, it will be well below shoulder length and look nice and straight/well kept.

In any case, bass is a tad easier to play from a technical perspective due to it having very few chords to memorize - but it is harder from the timing and rhythm side of the equation. But, yes, it's more fun and it isn't what everyone else is doing. I recommend bass also because it gives you a bit of an angle from the dating perspective. You're not a player, so you need something that says "I could be a player but eh - I'm too cool/busy for that."

The best bass to learn on is without a doubt a Carvin Kit. Or a used Carvin bolt-on. Either way, you're talking a $400-$500 investment for something that plays as well as a Stingray or Fender Jazz(the U.S. made one). Plus, making your own axe is a great learning experience.

Ebay Item number: 280127167488 - a good example. Perfect to learn on.
http://www.carvin.com/products/single.php?ItemNumber=BK4&CID=BKBN
Same thing in kit form. I do suggest getting the active electronics and humbucker bridge pickup.

If that's too much money, the next best thing is the Spector Performer. Spector makes probably the best budget basses out there right now.(they run about $279-$399 new at Guitar Center) Used, they run about half that, so are terribly good deals if you need something dirt cheap that's not going to kill your fingers.

[h2orowe]

I've been meaning to play bass a bit more. I have some Ibanez, I forgot what kind it is, it's not that bad though. It's got some nice action on it <33 pretty good sound, as far as I'm concerned. It's not high end by any means, it was like $300, I think. I rarely play it, but I've been wanting to play it instead of guitar, kind of, lately, because there's like no bassists/drummers/anything.. only guitarists. Even if I'm better than a lot of high school guitarists, I'd still rather play bass and sing then just do lead guitar ;p although I wouldn't mind rhythm guitar and singing.

[Life25Karma]

I'm not a man, I don't know. But he shouldn't feel emasculated b/c a girl asked him out and is willing to pay.l


I'll drink to that.
I understand a guy feeling less of a man if he takes a woman out, but his card gets rejected/or loses his wallet(..no question this type of situation would suck); However, If a woman ask ya out, and wants pay - go with it!

[Micah the Great]

Sparky:
You put my name in BLUE. How did you know that was my favorite color?! Damn you good. Really good job tho... why bring your disdain for a certain poster and their argument from a different thread into this one? ..well, why not?! I love you. :joytear:

Not everyone bases dating on sex. I'm sure this has been said. For most people, it's considered most of the time, but sometimes it's not even thought about.

[xtine]

I know few guys that can pull off the long hair thing. The rest look like super idiots and they really don't know how unattractive they look to other girls. A guy I knew who had long hair finally shaved it off when he got a girlfriend, and it looked 10x better (and he looked like a different person too).

And there is a musical street stereotype that bass players are stupid. Most people aren't that impressed by bassists because they are usually overshadowed by singers/guitarists/drummers.

[Masa the Masta]

I know few guys that can pull off the long hair thing.


I know a guy like that.


His name is Vic Rattlehead. :clap:

[Micah the Great]

And there is a musical street stereotype that bass players are stupid. Most people aren't that impressed by bassists because they are usually overshadowed by singers/guitarists/drummers.
Yea.. i thought this was pretty standard... they're usually the least noticed... unless the drummer is really crappy.

[SlickWilly440]

I know few guys that can pull off the long hair thing. The rest look like super idiots and they really don't know how unattractive they look to other girls. A guy I knew who had long hair finally shaved it off when he got a girlfriend, and it looked 10x better (and he looked like a different person too).


Yeah my hair was down to the center of my back (been growing it for over 2 years), and I had it wrapped up in a bun behind my head all the time. Then I had it cut a couple days ago (11+ inches) and now it's even all around with my upper neck.

I look way different now, and no regrets.

[Roxie]

Also, you must condition long hair.

[SlickWilly440]

^
I never really conditioned my hair, and when I wore it down it looked all dry and sort of frizzy, with lots of volume, but then again my hair is really thick.

[Micah the Great]

Aussie 'Moist' is the shit. ..if a guy can say that about conditioner... iono.

[xtine]

The problem with guys that have long hair is that a lot of them don't take care of it. They don't wash that often, don't use conditioner, and it's really ratty and nasty. And for some reason, they still think they are cool and like unique just cause they have long hair. And it's so freaking gross and girls notice, and hell I bet other guys notice too. Ugh.

[seiji]

^Amen to that. I (dead straight) haven't had a haircut in two years, and my boyfriend (thick and wavy) is pushing a decade. His hair was a two-foot-long knot until his mother sat on him and spent a few hours brushing it out. He conditions daily now. :innocent:

[Chris]

I've been meaning to play bass a bit more. I have some Ibanez, I forgot what kind it is, it's not that bad though. It's got some nice action on it <33 pretty good sound, as far as I'm concerned. It's not high end by any means, it was like $300, I think. I rarely play it, but I've been wanting to play it instead of guitar, kind of, lately, because there's like no bassists/drummers/anything.. only guitarists. Even if I'm better than a lot of high school guitarists, I'd still rather play bass and sing then just do lead guitar ;p although I wouldn't mind rhythm guitar and singing.


Playing guitar never really got me anywhere with girls, then again I wasn't really expecting it too. I never tried to make my playing stand out like others in high school who carried a guitar around (which was rather dumb, I thought). I just did all my playing at home, if someone asked, friends (no girls were ever around, bleh?) or in jazz band.

[h2orowe]

I've had quite a few conversations started with me playing guitar and girls seeing me. I usually give off a Ben Gibbard vibe D: and they did that I guess? :3
(I get called Ben Gibbard by a lot of people :P Luckily, I love Postal Service/Death Cab, so it's all good)
http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c141/h2orowe/200605_044a.jpg
I've had a lot of girls tell me they REALLY like my voice when I play guitar, so that might be part of it. Playing guitar isn't as impressive if you're not singing to it, ya know?

Also, when I have my guitar, my confidence goes up like.. about five times as much as I am confident without it.

[Chris]

I've been working on singing and playing the guitar, but haven't really been able to tackle it.

I've never really been one to stand out in the crowd anyways unless its a small (10 or less, really) group of people, either. So this has probably been why I don't get much attention from guitar playing.

[h2orowe]

I don't perform for people really, I just play for myself. When asked, I'll play and stuff. I've performed in front of my class a few times, and I performed at a choir talent show. I don't care what other people think of me, for the most part, so I'm not afraid of messing up, to be honest.

[stsparky]

Sparky: You put my name in BLUE. How did you know that was my favorite color?! Damn you good. Really good job tho... why bring your disdain for a certain poster and their argument from a different thread into this one? ..well, why not?! I love you. :joytear: Not everyone bases dating on sex. I'm sure this has been said. For most people, it's considered most of the time, but sometimes it's not even thought about.
Micah? - It's all logical. :watson: You told MR to go stab his hand in the post previous to that one. I figured you had plans for him. I figured that since MR isn't interested in sex you'd be safe with him over PMs as you are in the States somewhere and he is Australian. :frypan: And it's sex everywhere all the time. But you're a child and will discover this soon.

Aside to Roxie - if guys put stuff in their hair they're asking to lose it. Serious.

[h2orowe]

How are they asking to lose it? :watson: I'm curious. I like my hair, to be honest. A lot of people do. It's really soft, and nice. I'd have sex with myself, to be honest.

[Roxie]

Aside to Roxie - if guys put stuff in their hair they're asking to lose it. Serious.
Asking to lose what?
Their hair? Cause that'd be a bunch of bullshit.

[Plekto]

Yea.. i thought this was pretty standard... they're usually the least noticed... unless the drummer is really crappy.

Trust me - you're listening to the wrong groups if the bass payer is nearly invisible. A good punk or Ska band, for instance, the bass player steals the show every time. But it's well, really fast and techincal. Oh - bass players can also play chords. Many bands don't have a rhythm bass part, but the few that do sound amazingly tight.(ie - 2 bass players, 2 guitar, and a drummer of course)

As for the hair, it really is about the shape of your hair. If it's straight, you're in luck and can easily get away with long hair. But it has to be straight and perfectly kept(pony tail is typical). Other colors or wavy hair - it's a whole other problem. Shoulder-length is about as long as it gets. Usually pulled back partway. Yierd Al makes it work, for instance. Many women find long hair to be atractive IF it's perfect.

But the ratty thing is out. Total turn-off to women.

Plus, half-bald is a definite no-no. Going bald? Shave it all off.

[h2orowe]

My hair is wavy, I've been told, although it's more straight than wavy, in my opinion :watson: However, I kind of have "emo" hair, I guess. I just like having the thing parted to the right >_>; it looks better than parted in the middle.

[Televisions_Nick]

Trust me - you're listening to the wrong groups if the bass payer is nearly invisible. A good punk or Ska band, for instance, the bass player steals the show every time. But it's well, really fast and techincal. Oh - bass players can also play chords. Many bands don't have a rhythm bass part, but the few that do sound amazingly tight.(ie - 2 bass players, 2 guitar, and a drummer of course).

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs have an amazing bassist.:liar:

The truth is bass is not a spotlight instrument, never will be. Bootsy Collins is the exception to this rule. Groupies go for the guitar player or the lead singer. The drummer and bassist get the leftovers and castoffs. If you're gonna pick up a rock instrument to impress women, you pick up an electric guitar. If you want to be a complete pussy and/or bang 16-year-olds at day camp, acoustic guitar is for you. But for God's sake at least play something good, like Yusuf Islam.

[Micah the Great]

Sparky: lol... dude, i don't know what logic is anymore. Jokes are jokes, but you're really confusing.

Plelkto: Not invisible, just least noticed.. although i don't listen to much ska or punk anymore...

Televisions Nick: hmmm.. at least where i live, acoustic scores some pretty hardcore points with the ladies.. more than electric.. ... but that's just local stuff tho.

[japanat]

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs have an amazing bassist.:liar:

The truth is bass is not a spotlight instrument, never will be. Bootsy Collins is the exception to this rule. Groupies go for the guitar player or the lead singer. The drummer and bassist get the leftovers and castoffs. If you're gonna pick up a rock instrument to impress women, you pick up an electric guitar. If you want to be a complete pussy and/or bang 16-year-olds at day camp, acoustic guitar is for you. But for God's sake at least play something good, like Yusuf Islam.Really? Playing the drums didn't do me any hurts. Sure, you don't walk around with a trap set in your pocket, but a set of sticks and a trash can work just fine.

Whenever our guitarist/lead would do "Blackbird", I had free time to meet;). And he didn't do too bad with that one (on acoustic), either.

[stsparky]

Asking to lose what? Their hair? Cause that'd be a bunch of bullshit.
Yes. By observation, guys obsessed with their hair put crap into it —*then it goes away. Keep it clean, do a change up on the shampoo once in a while. And you're golden. Then again, I'm old and have experience with this.
Sparky: lol... dude, i don't know what logic is anymore. Jokes are jokes, but you're really confusing. ...
Dude, chill. You'll know when I'm angry. I'm always fair and logical.

[Plekto]

Sparky: lol... dude, i don't know what logic is anymore. Jokes are jokes, but you're really confusing.

Plekto: Not invisible, just least noticed.. although i don't listen to much ska or punk anymore...


The thing is... nobody smart wants groupies. You want the type who wouldn't usually go out with a guitar player. The trick is to do an end-run and set yourself aside as a different, more stable option. Let the guitar players do their thing and get the easy women. You don't want those types to begin with.

If we're talking cars, this would be the guy who owns an old non-standard classic like a 1960s Buick or Mercedes or something like a Volvo P1800 or BMW2002. It's in mint condition - he could obviously own a newer BMW or Porsche, but went for something other than the painfully obvious bling route. This leads to interest and questions and so one by a different, slightly more classy crowd.

The trick is to act like you couldn't care less about groupies and such. So you're not getting their "leftovers" unless you're basically being a groupie yourself and trying to follow their lead/ have some sort of envy thing going on.

[Roxie]

Yes. By observation, guys obsessed with their hair put crap into it —*then it goes away. Keep it clean, do a change up on the shampoo once in a while. And you're golden. Then again, I'm old and have experience with this.

Ah no. That's not the conditioner causing guys to loose their hair. Otherwise, we'd have tons of bald women running around too.

[Masa the Masta]

Balding is due to genetics. You know how girls get that extra bit of genetic information on that last X chromosome that determines if you're a girl or not?


That's where the backup gene for balding is at. Guys don't have that, so we have but one gene to rely on, and you'd better pray there's no baldness information there otherwise you're fucked.

[Plekto]

Actually, female is the base type for most mammals. Men are females with the extra information added. That's why there's virtually no difference between little boys and girls until they hit puberty - then everything goes crazy as major changes happen physically and mentally. That's also why you basically forget everything that happens during puberty as well. And why jr. high and high school is the worst time to learn a language. Nothing is really retained unless you continue to use it every day until your mid 20s.

[SlickWilly440]

^
I don't remember forgetting anything during puberty, but then again I might have forgotten it.
I'm pretty sure if one gives themselves a "helping hand" to satisfy those urges, one will be able to concentrate afterwards instead of being focused on those urges.
I never really liked taking Spanish in high school because it never interested me, and that is why I believe I forgot most of it.

[Plekto]

What I meant was that your synapses basically undo themselves and rearrange themselves again. So any hard-core learning of information that you stuff into your brain at that time is essentially lost by the time you are 20 or so unless you continue to do it for the entire period of your puberty(which can last upweards of 25 for some people)

Interesting tidbit: People who have a sex change and take hormones to change their body undergo the same changes all over again mentally. Their brains physically re-wire themselves to the other gender over the next 3-5 years. And, of course, when women get past menopause, their brain does it again to the same state emotionally as before puberty - which is why some elderly people act a lot like their spouse. Their brains are actually very close to each other chemically and emotionally at 80+.

[japanat]

Actually, female is the base type for most mammals. Men are females with the extra information added. That's why there's virtually no difference between little boys and girls until they hit puberty - then everything goes crazy as major changes happen physically and mentally. That's also why you basically forget everything that happens during puberty as well. No, that's called 'too much weed'. And why jr. high and high school is the worst time to learn a language. Nothing is really retained unless you continue to use it every day until your mid 20s.Did you forget your entire secondary education? I didn't. Puberty causes many things, including inability to concentrate, irritability, and plain ol' I-don't-give-a-damn-ability, but I've never heard of memory loss. Citations, please!

The stage where you forget most of your previous life is around ages 3-6 for most people, where you have perhaps learned enough concepts, ideas, even vocabulary to see your world in a whole new light. The restructuring of previous memories in the new context leads to gaps.

Wikipedia -
Infantile, or childhood amnesia is characterized by the relative absence of memory before 3 or 4 years of age. It is important to note that the term does not refer to complete absence of memories, but the relative scarcity of memories during infancy — a scarcity that cannot be accounted for by a forgetting curve. Additionally, the boundary is malleable and can be influenced by both individual experiences (Usher & Neisser, 1993) and cultural factors (Wang, 2001).

Research has demonstrate that children are adept learners and are quick to acquire and retain information. Children do remember events; however, these memories accessible as children are lost to infantile amnesia in adulthood (Bauer, 2004; Fivush, et al., 1987).

Freudian explanation
"blah-blah"

Physical development explanation

Another often-cited explanation of childhood amnesia is that the infant’s mind is not mentally mature enough to create long-lasting autobiographical memories. In particular, it is not until the age 3 or 4 that toddlers have a mature hippocampus and prefrontal cortex. These regions of the brain are known to be associated with the formation of autobiographical memories of the type notably missing from adult recollection of early childhood (Gleitman, 2004; Newcombe, et al., 2000).

Language explanation

The incomplete development of language in young children may be a cause of childhood amnesia in that infants do not have the language capacity to encode autobiographical memories in a manner that their language-based adult selves can interpret correctly. Indeed, the typical schedule of language development seems to support this theory. Babies of one year old tend to be limited to one word utterances, and childhood amnesia predicts that adults have very few, if any, memories of this time. By the age of three, however, children are capable of two or three word phrases, and by age five their speech already resembles adult speech. This language development seems to very much correspond to childhood amnesia because it is around the age of three to four that is the time of most adults’ earliest recallable memory (Gleitman, et al., 2004).

Emotion explanation

One explanation notes the connections between the emotion or amygdala-governed memory pathway and the autobiographical or hippocampus-governed pathway. While these two memory systems do have much independence, it is also known that emotions and the amygdala play a role in the encoding of memories typically associated with the hippocampus (Phelps, 2004). Knowing this, it has been suggested that the differences between the emotions experienced by infants and adults may be a cause of childhood amnesia (West, et al., 1999). One problem with this explanation, however, is that one of the most widely proclaimed examples of emotion influencing memory, the “flash-bulb memory mechanism,” may not exist at all. If so, it would be unlikely for emotion and memory to be so intertwined as to cause an inability to recall the first several years of memories (McCloskey, et al., 1988)...

Context explanation

The difference in perspective that children and adults experience of the world may be a cause of childhood amnesia. For children, their physical perception of objects and their understanding of people and events are very different from the world of the adult. Moreover, an infant’s basic understanding of the universe, like object permanence or occlusion effects, is not innate at birth. This leads to a disparity in retrieval cues used by the adult and those used by the infant, who will encode memories without many of these principles that are ingrained in the mind of the adult trying to recollect. This different context could lead to the inability of the adult to remember his earliest years at all (Gleitman, et al., 2004). For example, one study showed that an infant’s development of a theory of mind is linked to his ability to form episodic memories. The conclusion was that the context explanation may be justified, especially since infants develop the ability to perceive the world as adults do around the age of 3 to 5, when many people also have their earliest retrievable memory (Perner, et al., 1995).

[Plekto]

What I emant was that new skills fade quickly. How much of a foriegn language that you learned in high school can you remember a decade later? Hardly any. The stuff doesn't really "stick". Now, memories of what happened and so on, those are fine, but left-brain skills are just not going to be retained very well. Not unless you do it a lot.

[Masa the Masta]

How 'bout them dating tips guys?

[Life25Karma]

What I emant was that new skills fade quickly. How much of a foriegn language that you learned in high school can you remember a decade later? Hardly any. The stuff doesn't really "stick". Now, memories of what happened and so on, those are fine, but left-brain skills are just not going to be retained very well. Not unless you do it a lot.

............


and on this note, I'm going to go get me some beer..Yes..Beer!!

[wtf.pirate]

Be yourself =P

[Life25Karma]

and yeah um..a tip ...don't be a lilly livered punk !*&*!@&&@*@7!!!

[Roxie]

Don't be this (http://pandagon.net/2006/11/06/the-nice-guy-defined/)"nice guy".

And don't writy crappy "poetry" like this.

I’m sorry
That I was raised with respect;
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I’m sorry
That my body’s not ripped enough
to “satisfy” your wants

I’m sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I’m sorry
That I’m not cute enough
to be “your guy”

I’m sorry
That I am actually nice;
not an asshole

I’m sorry
I don’t have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I’m sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I’m sorry
I would rather make love to you then just f**k you
like some random guy.

I’m sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I’m sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up,and didn’t get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I’m sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I’m sorry
If I start not being there, and being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new asshole comes around

I’m sorry
If I don’t answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I’m sorry that you can’t realize.. I’ve been the one all along.

I’m sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don’t care But most of all

I’m sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I’m sorry
That you can’t accept me for who I am
It's not cute and no, I do not feel sorry for you. Evidently, you feel sorry enough for the both of us. Ugh, gag me.

Stop wasting your time with a person who obviously doesn't feel the same way, and just b/c you've done all the things you think you should do to make this person fall for you, you are not entitled to it! Just b/c you do good things, doesn't mean you're gonna get good things! If they don't want you then they aren't the person you should be with. Duh!

Like Emma Thompson's character said in Love, Actually, "No one's ever going to shag you if you cry all the time".

[Televisions_Nick]

That kind of guy can be really happy once he realizes his masochist fantasies and gets in a relationship with a very loving dom.

[manrush]

Why do some guys prescribe to the lie that being nice will get you anywhere. It won't. I used to be kind and considerate of other people's feelings once. But then I opened my eyes and realised that the only person that really matters to me is me. I, for one, am not afraid of trampling on people's (and girls') feelings in order to get what I want.

[雨]

it's all about your looks, basically.

[Roxie]

I, for one, am not afraid of trampling on people's (and girls') feelings in order to get what I want.
Uh, that was not the point.

The point was, just beacuse you're a "nice guy" to someone doesn't mean they're going to like you and they definently don't owe you anything. Don't be faux nice just b/c you think you'll get what you want (ever hear of being/doing good is its own reward?)--and don't wine about it either. Be yourself.

[manrush]

Uh, that was not the point.

The point was, just beacuse you're a "nice guy" to someone doesn't mean they're going to like you and they definently don't owe you anything. Don't be faux nice just b/c you think you'll get what you want (ever hear of being/doing good is its own reward?)--and don't wine about it either. Be yourself.

My statement had nothing to do with your post. It's just the hard truth.

"Being/doing good is its own reward" Don't give me that bullshit. Why would you do something for someone if there's nothing in it for you?

[Roxie]

Because I like the feeling I get. They don't have to return my favor and I don't expect them to.

[Knife-Fingered Sue Sanderson]

Don't be this (http://pandagon.net/2006/11/06/the-nice-guy-defined/)"nice guy".

And don't writy crappy "poetry" like this.


It's not cute and no, I do not feel sorry for you. Evidently, you feel sorry enough for the both of us. Ugh, gag me.

Stop wasting your time with a person who obviously doesn't feel the same way, and just b/c you've done all the things you think you should do to make this person fall for you, you are not entitled to it! Just b/c you do good things, doesn't mean you're gonna get good things! If they don't want you then they aren't the person you should be with. Duh!

Like Emma Thompson's character said in Love, Actually, "No one's ever going to shag you if you cry all the time".


BWAHAHAHA!!! I know exactly what you're talking about! I have a friend from high school who posts this kind of crap up on Facebook all the time. Here's a gem:


I'm looking for this girl

To every girl....

To every girl that is SCARED to
put her heart out there again,
because she has been HURT
too many times or so badly.

To every girl that
has been cheated on,
because she's not a slut
who gives it up to any guy.

To every girl that
dresses cute,
not skanky.

To every girl who
wants to be called
beautiful, not hot.

To every girl that will spend her
whole day looking
for the perfect present for you.

To every girl who gets her heart
broken, because he
chose someone easy instead.

To every girl that would die
to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just once
like to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night
because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that
just wants to hold hands.

To every girl that
kisses him with meaning.

To every girl who
just wishes he cared more.

To every girl who would just
once want a guy to give their
jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who
just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies
awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that
just wants to cuddle.

To every girl that
just wants to sleep with
him without having sex.

To every girl who shows how much
she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought
"maybe this one could be the one."

To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff
when she actually doesn't think it is funny.

To every girl who is just
looking for that one and
only and is having a rough
time along the way.

To every girl that doesn't want
a guy who just plays with her
emotions but actually cares about
how she feels.

To every girl who wants
words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies
only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away
to have it shoved back in her face.

To every girl that has faith that
"tomorrow will be a better day."
And it will be.


Sigh...I wish I could tell him that this will produce the exact opposite result that he is looking for, but I'm not that close to him.



You can be a nice guy and get the girl. It's been said before, and I'll say it again - IT'S ALL ABOUT CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!!! Don't whine about how much of a nice guy you are, sweep her off her feet and don't ever doubt yourself for a second.

[雨]

there was this girl once who begged me to give her a massage. I was like, ok, now you do me. she was like "I thought you were just being nice". Immature little bitch.

well, I let her slide. down the fucking side of a mountain. lol.

[h2orowe]

I’m sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
That part kinda pissed me off a bit >_>; cuz it reminded me of my mom. I seriously have no respect for women who return to abusive boyfriends, and pretty much have no pity for them if they get abused again. One time, just MAYBE it would be acceptable, although in my opinion it's not, but to stay in something like that is just showing that you are a weak, incompetent human being who deserves no pity from anyone else. Especially if you fucking bring your child into the God damned situation. You don't know how shitty I used to feel that my mom would get hit (luckily it's only once every couple of months and it's pretty much stopped now because her boyfriend has chilled a lot more because he had an epiphany when his own son beat the living shit out of him) and I wanted to call the cops but she told me not to blahblah, and then when I got strangled by the guy and no one would call the cops. I felt absolutely worthless. Then after a while, I started caring for myself more, and the situation has been getting better. Then a few weeks ago, or a month or two ago, I forget, but my mom came to me all drunk whining, and she had a bruise on her cheek where she said her boyfriend punched her :P I didn't really feel that bad for her. She could've gotten us out of this situation plenty of times, and we could've moved out. She started going to college sometime my sophomore year, but she pretty much has dropped out mostly, and she failed most of her classes. I was so proud of her at first, because she went to go to get a AA or whatever to at least get a decent job and try to move us out of here, but she just stopped caring, and that's when I stopped caring. Now, the only reason I feel shitty is for not caring when if my mom gets hit. I just fake the sympathy.

Women like that are stupid fucking animals. "Oh he hit me! He doesn't love me!" then the next morning they're made up, and he said something nice to her and she's like ":) Oh good, he loves me. He's a good guy, most of the time".

Also, what made me SUPER pissed a month or two ago, was my mom was talking to her boyfriend's son, and she mentioned something about her engagement ring, and he goes "WAIT. He proposed?" and she goes "He did before we even moved in here (3 years ago. Almost 4, I think.)" and he was just dumbfounded. Then he said how his dad had told me him that he'd never marry my mom and that he was just using her for someone to clean and cook the house. Then she was like all upset that night, and was like "Well if he's never going to marry me, I want out of here." and I just tuned out right there, and pretty much ignored what she had to say for the rest of the night, because I felt like punching my mom in the face for her sheer stupidity.

[Ceirnian]

I like that post Joey, no sarcasm intended at all.

[japanat]

Why do some guys prescribe to the lie that being nice will get you anywhere. It won't. I used to be kind and considerate of other people's feelings once. But then I opened my eyes and realised that the only person that really matters to me is me. I, for one, am not afraid of trampling on people's (and girls') feelings in order to get what I want.
Ahhh, but does being a prick get you anywhere you want to be?

I'd rather be a nice guy. Sure, sometimes (especially JHS) the girls want the badboy. So what? Pretending to be something I wasn't wouldn't have made either of us happy. But being who I am got me plenty of dates, and I even had several gf's in college who left the asshole for me:hat:

And now I am married to a wonderful woman and have 4 great kids.

Being a nice guy isn't the problem. Being passive, a rug, is. You don't have to be a prick to meet the ladies, just stop being emo! (not directed to anyone in particular)

[Knife-Fingered Sue Sanderson]

That part kinda pissed me off a bit >_>; cuz it reminded me of my mom. I seriously have no respect for women who return to abusive boyfriends, and pretty much have no pity for them if they get abused again. One time, just MAYBE it would be acceptable, although in my opinion it's not, but to stay in something like that is just showing that you are a weak, incompetent human being who deserves no pity from anyone else. Especially if you fucking bring your child into the God damned situation. You don't know how shitty I used to feel that my mom would get hit (luckily it's only once every couple of months and it's pretty much stopped now because her boyfriend has chilled a lot more because he had an epiphany when his own son beat the living shit out of him) and I wanted to call the cops but she told me not to blahblah, and then when I got strangled by the guy and no one would call the cops. I felt absolutely worthless. Then after a while, I started caring for myself more, and the situation has been getting better. Then a few weeks ago, or a month or two ago, I forget, but my mom came to me all drunk whining, and she had a bruise on her cheek where she said her boyfriend punched her :P I didn't really feel that bad for her. She could've gotten us out of this situation plenty of times, and we could've moved out. She started going to college sometime my sophomore year, but she pretty much has dropped out mostly, and she failed most of her classes. I was so proud of her at first, because she went to go to get a AA or whatever to at least get a decent job and try to move us out of here, but she just stopped caring, and that's when I stopped caring. Now, the only reason I feel shitty is for not caring when if my mom gets hit. I just fake the sympathy.

Women like that are stupid fucking animals. "Oh he hit me! He doesn't love me!" then the next morning they're made up, and he said something nice to her and she's like ":) Oh good, he loves me. He's a good guy, most of the time".

Also, what made me SUPER pissed a month or two ago, was my mom was talking to her boyfriend's son, and she mentioned something about her engagement ring, and he goes "WAIT. He proposed?" and she goes "He did before we even moved in here (3 years ago. Almost 4, I think.)" and he was just dumbfounded. Then he said how his dad had told me him that he'd never marry my mom and that he was just using her for someone to clean and cook the house. Then she was like all upset that night, and was like "Well if he's never going to marry me, I want out of here." and I just tuned out right there, and pretty much ignored what she had to say for the rest of the night, because I felt like punching my mom in the face for her sheer stupidity.


Well it sounds like you have a pretty shitty situation there. Your mom is putting herself and her child in poor situations and she needs to learn and become a responsible adult and get herself out of it. But shouldn't you feel more animosity towards the men who are actually doing the hitting and abusing?

[Ceirnian]

Well it sounds like you have a pretty shitty situation there. Your mom is putting herself and her child in poor situations and she needs to learn and become a responsible adult and get herself out of it. But shouldn't you feel more animosity towards the men who are actually doing the hitting and abusing?

You can't help but feel animosity towards the people who put themselves in that situation as well. I've heard him go on about the guy in the past, so I'm sure he hates him. But his post was aimed more towards the topic at hand, so it focuses on his mother instead.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Balding is due to genetics. You know how girls get that extra bit of genetic information on that last X chromosome that determines if you're a girl or not?


That's where the backup gene for balding is at. Guys don't have that, so we have but one gene to rely on, and you'd better pray there's no baldness information there otherwise you're fucked.
Huh?

I always understood that balding was a nice little bit of information attached to the X chromosome, not the Y, and that it was further affected by testosterone. Having that gene along with testosterone tends to make you lose your hair. Hence it occurring more in men.

But I'm sure wearing a hat and doing crazy stuff makes it fall out too. My 65 year-old elementary school teacher told me so.

[h2orowe]

Well it sounds like you have a pretty shitty situation there. Your mom is putting herself and her child in poor situations and she needs to learn and become a responsible adult and get herself out of it. But shouldn't you feel more animosity towards the men who are actually doing the hitting and abusing?
I feel equal animosity. It's like being robbed, but instead of being robbed of money, you're being fucked over emotionally. You'd report the theft right? Well, why don't you report the abuse? You're just letting a criminal get away without any consequences. If you finally get the strength to leave them, bravo, but you should've called the cops on them in the first place. He'll just end up hitting some other stupid woman after you (not YOU, but you know what I mean.

Edit:Forgot to say thanks, Ceirnian.

[Duke Luke of Juke]

I thought the poem was well-written, and emotionally honest. :/

[Jetsetlemming]

Don't be this (http://pandagon.net/2006/11/06/the-nice-guy-defined/)"nice guy".

I followed that link down the rabbit hole, ended up four or five feminist pages away, and got REALLY pissed off.
http://bitingbeaver.blogspot.com/2006/10/repost-of-old-favorite.html
The biggest fucking bullshit ever. If you rape someone, you're a rapist. I never thought that was a hard concept to grasp, but apparently it is, because this person thinks that begging, whining, asking for sex is raping someone. A breaking condom during consensual sex makes it rape. If you don't stop at second base, which was previously consensual, immediately on her telling you off it's rape, even though you're still not doing anything besides said touching, and not having sex. If you talk her into sex, it's rape. If either one of you have had a beer or a pill or medicine or ANYTHING, it's rape. Anyone, everyone could be a rapist and it's reasonable behavior of a women to act like everyone is and treat you like one, no matter what.
This is worst fucking bullshit I've ever read. This is worse than the concept that asking a co-worker on a date more than once is sexual harassment. :bang:

[Pierrot le Fou]

I thought the poem was well-written, and emotionally honest. :/
That's really funny. You are joking, right?

[Duke Luke of Juke]

That's really funny. You are joking, right?
Suck it PLF. >=[
I'm allowed to have emotions, don't you judge me sir!

[Pierrot le Fou]

Suck it PLF. >=[
I'm allowed to have emotions, don't you judge me sir!
You can have emotions, sure! No problem. Congratulating a welcome mat for lying down on the job and writing poetry about it is a problem.

Anyone who writes poetry anonymously on the internet, but can't muster up the sack to tell the girl he wants to root the Hell out of her doesn't deserve praise, he deserves to have some sense kicked into him.

And I'm wearing my good boots.

[Duke Luke of Juke]

I agree. I just enjoyed it on an aesthetic level. ;p


Also, I'm sorry I told you to suck it, that was rude. I enjoy your posts, they are entertaining and often feisty in nature.

[h2orowe]

I tried to have emotions once, but then I remembered.. I'm a robot and all my emotions are confined, strictly, to the use of emotes. :gloomy:

[Beowulf]

Also, I'm sorry I told you to suck it, that was rude. I enjoy your posts, they are entertaining and often feisty in nature.
I don't PLF that sounds like sort of a come on... ;)

But seriously I to get tired of people just not being able to muster up the courage to ask someone out. I've always looked at it as, what's the worst that can happen? The worst being, she rejects you. Boohoo get over it, you weren't meant to be. She doesn't, you're golden!

[japanat]

I don't PLF that sounds like sort of a come on... ;)

But seriously I to get tired of people just not being able to muster up the courage to ask someone out. I've always looked at it as, what's the worst that can happen? The worst being, she rejects you. Boohoo get over it, you weren't meant to be. She doesn't, you're golden!
I agree! A 'no' may be a momentary humiliation, but the pain is fleeting; while pining over someone for weeks, months, years, just drags it out.

Besides, sometimes you can really surprise yourself. In HS, I told my buddy I was gonna ask this really beautiful girl for a date. He, of course, proceeded to describe in full detail the humiliation and emotional ass-kicking I'd get. So, when she said 'yes', his jaw hit the floor. Turned out that she was so hot that everyone was afraid to ask her out. Lucky for me, we also clicked on the 1st date, and ended up dating for most of a year.

If I had been afraid of that 'no' (or at least afraid enough to not try), I never would have gotten the chance to know and spend time with a truly incredible lady.

[stsparky]

Kids don't get it. The poet is a jerk looking to be dominated forever. He sees himself as a "good guy" but is just an enabling stalker too frightened to screw his object of desire when she is available. Strikes me as a real "Norman Bates" character. It goes beyond asking for a "pity" fuck. It's bad poetry. And calls upon the audience it is for to loathe the writer. You should never identify with this loser lest the smell get on you.

You're supposed to learn from failure and move on.

[Roxie]

reposted from the Ladies Thread

10 Things You Don't Know About Women
By Wanda Sykes

1. The quickest way to a woman’s heart is through her clit.
2. When we say we want you to get in touch with your feminine side, we really mean you need to touch our clit.
3. When we ask you if we look fat, it really means “can you see my clit?”
4. We’d love to meet your mom. Right after we introduce you to our clit.
5. Diamonds are forever, but touching our clit can buy you two or three years.
6. When we tell you, “We’re not communicating’” it really means you’re not touching our clit.
7. We’d be happy to buy our own damn drinks if you touched our clit.
8. When we say, “Harder! Harder!” that means “Take it our and touch my clit.”
9. The fact that women make seventy-five cents to every man’s dollar won’t bother us as long as you touch our clit.
10. “Go have boys’ night out” really means “I’ll stay home and touch my clit.”

[Plekto]

A completely agree, stsparky. That, and nice guys really DO finish last.

Take a look at what Az was saying recently - I forget where exactly, about how just asking Japanese women out is half of the battle. They love American men because we are agressive and damn it - we go after what we want when we are over there. It's a huge turn-on for most women to be asked out.

Especially if the guy is persistent in a good way(as obviously opposed to creepy stalker way). Doubly so if it's a hot looking woman and you're obviously interested in more than just objectifying her or going on a casual date. As Japanat ponted out, serious inquiries are often few and far between for women like that, so it's worth the effort to ask.

Doing nothing and having some self-pity "nice guy" complex - yeah, buddy - you get to be single. Enjoy, poetry-boy.

[Duke Luke of Juke]

I don't PLF that sounds like sort of a come on... ;)
I've seen pictures. If I were homosexual, or even bi-curious, I could do better. No offense to PLF obviously, just saying. I'm 21 and I have a big penis.

I'm also trying to find the part of the poem where it says the kid never asked the girl out? Or is that just an assumption people are making?

I tried to have emotions once, but then I remembered.. I'm a robot and all my emotions are confined, strictly, to the use of emotes. :gloomy:
Yes Joey. It's a sad, sad world we live in, my friend.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I seriously doubt you've seen photos. But you can pretend if you'd like.

And you couldn't do better. I'm the lovechild of Helen of Troy and Cleopatra. Hot. Like fire. Only hotter. Like plasma. That's hot.

Doubt me and I'll rain down the fury of the heavens upon you.

[h2orowe]

If I were gay (lol who am I kidding "if" :rolleyes:) I'd fuck PLF. Hard.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I'm not a bottom, chum. You most certainly would not fuck me, hard -or- soft.

[h2orowe]

Fine. You'd fuck me. And how.

Our birthday is coming up, PLF. Any special plans? :watson: Does your girlfriend plan on giving you steak and a blowjob?

[Jetsetlemming]

I seriously doubt you've seen photos. But you can pretend if you'd like.

And you couldn't do better. I'm the lovechild of Helen of Troy and Cleopatra. Hot. Like fire. Only hotter. Like plasma. That's hot.

Doubt me and I'll rain down the fury of the heavens upon you.
Wouldn't being the love child of two women make you a female by design? No Y chromosomes to hand down.

[h2orowe]

They have surgeries, nowadays, JSL.

[Jetsetlemming]

It's kinda meaningless to brag about the size of a fabricated cock, then. :O Shame, PLF. Shame.
Or should I say, PLF-ette!?

[Pierrot le Fou]

Don't fuck with me man, that's not cool. Why you gotta bring genetics into it?

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

But seriously I to get tired of people just not being able to muster up the courage to ask someone out. I've always looked at it as, what's the worst that can happen? The worst being, she rejects you. Boohoo get over it, you weren't meant to be. She doesn't, you're golden!

Well sometimes it can be more complicated than that. Perhaps the girl is a fellow student or co-worker or neighbour, you have to see them all the time, embarrasment and awkwardness don't go away. Of course, the worst case would be if they were already a good friend of yours, you develop feelings for them, ask them out, they reject you, friendship ruined.

But, of course, sometimes you just have to take a chance...

[stsparky]

... But, of course, sometimes you just have to take a chance...Time to grow a pair then. Haven't we learnt what the basis for any male/female relationship is all about? Your job is to make the idea of 'bumping uglies' with her an attractive one she doesn't want to pass up. If she isn't your friend after rejection - then she wasn't ever your friend. How hard a concept is that to grasp? If you treat the person with respect, you won't lose a friend.

Key Points that are beyond dispute to communicate to a potential partner! Sex is great.
We'll get better at it with steady practice.
Safe sex will allow us to be better human beings avoiding STDs and babymaking until we're ready.
Let's find a safe comfortable place to begin.

So where are we finding the Awkward here in this discussion?

[Jetsetlemming]

Sparky, I wish your words were required for every single person on earth to learn and know by heart. However, there's a lot of girls out there who would argue against those points, even if they didn't disagree with them in their heart of hearts. "Sex is gross." "I don't need a relationship." "Asking me out is offensive." "Leave me alone." "You're preverted." "That's sick." "Love is stupid."
:( Girls depress me. It's hardly all, or a majority, or even many girls like this... but I always seem to be drawn to girls who end up most likely to be like that. Just like the insane, psychopath girls are always drawn to me.

[Pierrot le Fou]

You left out the 'drop rohypnol in her drink and sob about what a nice misunderstood guy you are before doing her up the bum' step. That's the awkward one.

[Roxie]

Then you're obviously putting something out there.

It's time for some introspection. You should learn from your experiences in hopes you don't repeat them.

[Jetsetlemming]

Then you're obviously putting something out there.

It's time for some introspection. You should learn from your experiences in hopes you don't repeat them.
Eh? What?


Also, I forgot one really important rule of dating! Benjamen Franklin's rule of dating ages:
The minimum age of someone you can date should be half your age plus seven. Thus, if you're 18, don't date anyone younger than 16 (18/2 = 9+7 = 16). :hat:

[Life25Karma]

reposted from the Ladies Thread

10 Things You Don't Know About Women
By Wanda Sykes

1. The quickest way to a woman’s heart is through her clit.
2. When we say we want you to get in touch with your feminine side, we really mean you need to touch our clit.
3. When we ask you if we look fat, it really means “can you see my clit?”
4. We’d love to meet your mom. Right after we introduce you to our clit.
5. Diamonds are forever, but touching our clit can buy you two or three years.
6. When we tell you, “We’re not communicating’” it really means you’re not touching our clit.
7. We’d be happy to buy our own damn drinks if you touched our clit.
8. When we say, “Harder! Harder!” that means “Take it our and touch my clit.”
9. The fact that women make seventy-five cents to every man’s dollar won’t bother us as long as you touch our clit.
10. “Go have boys’ night out” really means “I’ll stay home and touch my clit.”


.....*Pitched TENT*

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

Time to grow a pair then. Haven't we learnt what the basis for any male/female relationship is all about? Your job is to make the idea of 'bumping uglies' with her an attractive one she doesn't want to pass up. If she isn't your friend after rejection - then she wasn't ever your friend. How hard a concept is that to grasp? If you treat the person with respect, you won't lose a friend.

Key Points that are beyond dispute to communicate to a potential partner! Sex is great.
We'll get better at it with steady practice.
Safe sex will allow us to be better human beings avoiding STDs and babymaking until we're ready.
Let's find a safe comfortable place to begin.

So where are we finding the Awkward here in this discussion?


Of course after rejection she'd remain your friend but you don't think it would be awkward afterwards with you both knowing that she rejected you. The friendship could continue for sure but it'd never be the same. Plus the embarrasment could be come even worse if she told some of your mutual friends about it (I know that wouldn't be a very friend-like thing to do...) This isn't really even about sex. Anyways watch more Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm and you'll understand the awkward-fearing anti-social shell I choose to live my life from (I'm joking obviously but I do think about these things.)

[Beowulf]

Of course after rejection she'd remain your friend but you don't think it would be awkward afterwards with you both knowing that she rejected you. The friendship could continue for sure but it'd never be the same. Plus the embarrasment could be come even worse if she told some of your mutual friends about it (I know that wouldn't be a very friend-like thing to do...) This isn't really even about sex. Anyways watch more Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm and you'll understand the awkward-fearing anti-social shell I choose to live my life from (I'm joking obviously but I do think about these things.)
Or the two of you could be fucking adults about these sort of things and have the courtesy to just pretend like nothing ever happened...

[Trump]

What? People have maturity?

[stsparky]

Of course after rejection she'd remain your friend but you don't think it would be awkward afterwards with you both knowing that she rejected you. The friendship could continue for sure but it'd never be the same. Plus the embarrassment could be come even worse if she told some of your mutual friends about it (I know that wouldn't be a very friend-like thing to do...) This isn't really even about sex. Anyways watch more Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm and you'll understand the awkward-fearing anti-social shell I choose to live my life from (I'm joking obviously but I do think about these things.)
One problem you have is that you think a self-hating Jew like Larry David is actually funny. Seinfied always struck me as boring. Especially when the pretend losers were making a million dollars an episode for incredibly dull TV. I was busy having sex when it was on NBC. So you shouldn't reference it as it dates you as someone who is watching the re-runs now and is out-of-date today. This shell you present to the world is a false front - it needs to be discarded. Dating and mating is about your fitness in the eyes of the person you want to spend time with. This is where Maniacal Russian fails. The shell your think protects you marks you as a phoney to be avoided at all costs.

Your goals are now:
Be honest.
Communicate your goals in a forthright manner.
Do the right things:
Get tested for STDs/HIV if you're not a virgin.
Avoid future STD risks. No drunkenly doing hookers after a bachelor party.
Invest in protection and inform your partner of your choices.

Never hurts to ask where you stand in another's eyes.

[Roxie]

Omg, I've always hated Seinfield, Friends, and Will & Grace.

[manrush]

What shell? The only front that presented was that of a kind, considerate person. And I gave that up long time ago. I'm now the prick that I actually was.

[Roxie]

and how's that working for you?

[manrush]

and how's that working for you?

(rolls eyes) I'm gonna dismiss that question because I would be wasting my time if I answer it.

[Roxie]

Well, that answer tells me all I need to know.

[manrush]

Well, that answer tells me all I need to know.

It really does?
/sarcasm

Sorry to break it to you, but being considerate to others really does get you nowhere.

[Roxie]

Oh, how bitter thou art!
Yes, it does.

[manrush]

Oh, how bitter thou art!
Yes, it does.

I'm not bitter. I'm naturally a prick.

[Roxie]

So being a prick must be getting you everywhere you want to be, right?

[manrush]

So being a prick must be getting you everywhere you want to be, right?

Yes, it has.

[h2orowe]

Lullz, it's funny when people think they're smart or funny for being pricks. Honestly, what's being a prick going to get you? Don't be a doormat, but don't be a prick. You have to find a balance. You can be a doormat like some people who annoy the shit out of almost everyone, you can be a prick (which most of the human population is) who will most likely get his ass kicked, or you can be a healthy balance ;p which people like.

[manrush]

Lullz, it's funny when people think they're smart or funny for being pricks. Honestly, what's being a prick going to get you? Don't be a doormat, but don't be a prick. You have to find a balance. You can be a doormat like some people who annoy the shit out of almost everyone, you can be a prick (which most of the human population is) who will most likely get his ass kicked, or you can be a healthy balance ;p which people like.

That has absolutely nothing to do with it. I'm a prick because that's just who I am. I don't like bullshitting with people, I like being honest.

[xtine]

And here you are, asking for "dating tips."

[h2orowe]

There's a difference between being honest and being a prick. Being honest would be talking to your friend "Dude.. that haircut.. yeah.. it's not so good." Whereas being a prick would be like ":rofl: Wow, did you get in a fight with the lawnmower and the lawnmower won?! LOOOOL DOUCHE BAG. GTFO MY FACE. I'm gonna go drink some Mountain Fucking Dew, yeah! FUCKYEAH The X-games are on. Let's go skating!"

[Roxie]

honest!=being a prick

[seiji]

":rofl: Wow, did you get in a fight with the lawnmower and the lawnmower won?! LOOOOL DOUCHE BAG. GTFO MY FACE. I'm gonna go drink some Mountain Fucking Dew, yeah! FUCKYEAH The X-games are on. Let's go skating!"
This is twenty times more amazing when you insert "ice" before the last word.

Also, I would like to say that I picked the nice guy in the end. I just gave him a couple years of hell first. :innocent:

[manrush]

And here you are, asking for "dating tips."

So? What's it to you?

[xtine]

So? What's it to you?

It's not anything on me. But you had stated previously that being a prick has gotten you far, but yet you aren't very far in dating. Being a prick also makes people that WOULD be nice to you, do you favors and such, hate you instead. Life is about networking. Being a jerk makes people hate you, make coworkers hate you, your potentially your boss hating you, and makes things harder. Sure, you might believe you get farther by being "forward" but instead you make life more annoying to others. But then again, who cares about everything else? It's all about you, you you.

[stsparky]

MR confuses me. He strikes me as abnormal in his desires. An Indian lady stated the below for the record. I'm tempted to remind him he didn't want to post on this topic anymore.

15 Things Men Should Not Say On A First Date

At a restaurant: “You should order that, my ex loved it.”
“I like you a lot. You remind me of my ex.”
“How many people have you slept with?”
“I know we have just met but could I borrow a thousand dollars?”
“Can we make this fast? I have to get home in time for Star Trek.”
“Do you know how many girls turned me down before I asked you out?”
“Would you like to meet my parents?”
“Check out that girl! Isn’t she hot?”
“In case you were thinking of asking, I did bring a condom.”
“I really feel that I have grown in the past few years, otherwise I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look.”
“I’ve come to accept that most people I date just won’t be as smart as I am.”
“So how much money do you make?”
“They cancelled the 99 cent menu? C’mon, let’s get outta here!”
“Here, have a tic-tac. Pleaseeeee! It’s on me.”
“I love you.”

Top 10 Dating Mistakes Men Make

Being too sexually aggressive. After just meeting them and you come on all hot and horny. This just turns a woman off, in most cases anyway.
Trying to convince her to like you. If a woman is not interested, there’s a slim chance that she’ll change her mind. Yet men beg, plead, chase and do their damnedest. It doesn’t work.
When a woman talks to you, do you find yourself paying more attention to her breasts than to what she’s saying? Well, don’t!
Thinking that it takes money and looks to get girls interested and then try to buy her affection. Treat her with more respect than that!
Wandering eyes are a major turn-off. Don’t think for a minute that she won’t notice you’re checking other girls out.
Don’t be an arrogant fool. Bragging and boasting about your life’s greatest achievements, your popularity or money won’t really impress her.
Talk too much about yourself and are not even interested to hearing anything about her.
Talking about your ex’s is bad enough. And if you talk about them in a bad way, a whole lot worse. One day your date may become your ex so don’t give her a preview of how you will be talking about her after the relationship is over.
Acting desperate. Being overly eager and expecting commitment too soon will only freak her out.
OK, women don’t like it when you act too cool either. Play too hard to get and she will just think you’re not interested.

[japanat]

Like many people, MR is confusing 'prick' with 'powerful'. I have known a few truly confident, powerful people in my life, and almost without exception (there's always 1 or 2 assholes out there) they felt no need to be a prick. They knew what they could do (for example, that they could tear off my head and shit down my neck, or that they could stomp me in business), and didn't have a need to show others.

Sorry, guy, but to me, 'prick' equals needy. Need to feel more powerful, need approval, need to put others down to level the playing field.

[Plekto]

I've been watching that show "Setup" lately on T.V. - it's where they take a group of wanna-be b-rate drivers who are slogging around on the local racing circuits and give them a chance to compete to get a real sponsorship.

Anyways... The real goal for a professional driver is to push hard, be agressive, but to stay in control and play clean. You out-think, out maneuver, and out-run the others. Because you are better. Running in the dirt, pushing people off the course, yelling at the competition, and being an ass isn't what works. The show is good because it brings this "prick" and "type A" personality difference into stark comparison. And guess what - the final race was between the four most professional racers. The pricks and attitudes were weeded out. One guy was so arrogant in fact that he ended up having none of the sponsors actually accept him.

Back to real life... MR - you'll find in life that being an aggressive or forthright person isn't a bad thing, but it has to be tempered with very soft gloves. Why? Because weaker people often get frightened or intimidated and in business, love, and most of the other major categories in post-college life, this leads to bad feelings and the wrong people seeing you as competition and a possible threat as opposed to a potential leader. The best leaders are masters at cooperation and networking.

[Roxie]

There's this stuff called, tact. It's hawt.

[manrush]

MR confuses me. He strikes me as abnormal in his desires. An Indian lady stated the below for the record. I'm tempted to remind him he didn't want to post on this topic anymore.

15 Things Men Should Not Say On A First Date

At a restaurant: “You should order that, my ex loved it.”
“I like you a lot. You remind me of my ex.”
“How many people have you slept with?”
“I know we have just met but could I borrow a thousand dollars?”
“Can we make this fast? I have to get home in time for Star Trek.”
“Do you know how many girls turned me down before I asked you out?”
“Would you like to meet my parents?”
“Check out that girl! Isn’t she hot?”
“In case you were thinking of asking, I did bring a condom.”
“I really feel that I have grown in the past few years, otherwise I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look.”
“I’ve come to accept that most people I date just won’t be as smart as I am.”
“So how much money do you make?”
“They cancelled the 99 cent menu? C’mon, let’s get outta here!”
“Here, have a tic-tac. Pleaseeeee! It’s on me.”
“I love you.”

Top 10 Dating Mistakes Men Make

Being too sexually aggressive. After just meeting them and you come on all hot and horny. This just turns a woman off, in most cases anyway.
Trying to convince her to like you. If a woman is not interested, there’s a slim chance that she’ll change her mind. Yet men beg, plead, chase and do their damnedest. It doesn’t work.
When a woman talks to you, do you find yourself paying more attention to her breasts than to what she’s saying? Well, don’t!
Thinking that it takes money and looks to get girls interested and then try to buy her affection. Treat her with more respect than that!
Wandering eyes are a major turn-off. Don’t think for a minute that she won’t notice you’re checking other girls out.
Don’t be an arrogant fool. Bragging and boasting about your life’s greatest achievements, your popularity or money won’t really impress her.
Talk too much about yourself and are not even interested to hearing anything about her.
Talking about your ex’s is bad enough. And if you talk about them in a bad way, a whole lot worse. One day your date may become your ex so don’t give her a preview of how you will be talking about her after the relationship is over.
Acting desperate. Being overly eager and expecting commitment too soon will only freak her out.
OK, women don’t like it when you act too cool either. Play too hard to get and she will just think you’re not interested.


To stsparky: when I said that I didn't want to post on this topic, guess what: I was lying.

[manrush]

It's not anything on me. But you had stated previously that being a prick has gotten you far, but yet you aren't very far in dating. Being a prick also makes people that WOULD be nice to you, do you favors and such, hate you instead. Life is about networking. Being a jerk makes people hate you, make coworkers hate you, your potentially your boss hating you, and makes things harder. Sure, you might believe you get farther by being "forward" but instead you make life more annoying to others. But then again, who cares about everything else? It's all about you, you you.

Now you're getting it. It is all about me, me, me. I'm pretty shallow and selfish. Not that there's anything wrong with it.

[Roxie]

Yes, there is, if you want to date.

[manrush]

Yes, there is, if you want to date.

I can just put a front on and pretend that I'm not selfish. Duh.

[stsparky]

To Sparky: when I said that I didn't want to post on this topic, guess what: I was lying.
Were you lying about being afraid of sex?

[manrush]

Were you lying about being afraid of sex?

Yes, I was lying about being afraid of sex. As for not having sex, I was telling the truth. Sex doesn't scare me at all.

[stsparky]

Yes, I was lying about being afraid of sex. As for not having sex, I was telling the truth. Sex doesn't scare me at all.
I'm just going to mock you from now on. Don't camp this thread. You're a lost cause.

[manrush]

I'm just going to mock you from now on. Don't camp this thread. You're a lost cause.

I'm still gonna comment on this thread. And I haven't done anything that would warrant a ban from OP9.

I'm a lost cause? That is presuming that you thought you could convince me to see things your way. You though wrong.

Did you actually believe that I was telling the truth? I lied because I ALWAYS lie. That's just what I do.

And by the way. You were mocking me from the very beginning. And guess what: it doesn't work on me.

[xtine]

Now he's just being a hilarious troll-like character. Keep posting, I want to see some PLF action.

[manrush]

Now he's just being a hilarious troll-like character. Keep posting, I want to see some PLF action.

I'm not being a troll. I'm just angry at always having to fucking justify myself when I don't need to justify myself.


I NEVER said anything about being afraid of sex. What I'm pissed off about is people patronising me and telling me how I should live MY life and calling me abnormal because I think differently. I never wanted a lecture by people who think "silly MR, you don't know what's good for you." So I lash out by writing angry posts such as the few above (i.e. me being a prick, or me saying that I'm lying). I'm not overly sensitive, I just don't like being patronised by people who don't know me. People don't have to agree with me, just don't try to force your opinions on me.

Have I, even once forced my opinions about sex on anybody? No. Give me an example where I did just that?

[xtine]

This is the Internet. Don't get angry or cry over it.

You keep being very wishy washy on what you say, you contradict yourself sometimes, and then show irrational behavior. It's natural for people to jump all over you. Get over it, this is a public forum, not some serious real-life discussion (ha).

[manrush]

This is the Internet. Don't get angry or cry over it.

You keep being very wishy washy on what you say, you contradict yourself sometimes, and then show irrational behavior. It's natural for people to jump all over you. Get over it, this is a public forum, not some serious real-life discussion (ha).

Okay, so I overracted. What am I supposed to do, then? I know that I get defensive too easily. But how can I remedy it. I'm not crying over anything. How has my behaviour been irrational?

I have kept my position on sex pretty consistent.

Okay, okay. I'm always defensive when I know that I'm wrong. I know that I was wrong and the posters here were right. It's just difficult for me to admit that I am wrong. It would do irreparable damage to my pride.

I wonder if letting go of my pride and admitting that I am wrong is a way to not turn off potential relationships.

[manrush]

I'll get over it, don't you worry.

Here's an interesting story. One of my friends in college set me up on a date with this girl that he knew. I find out a few months later that the girl is a total psycho (my friend experienced it firsthand). So basically, I almost dated a crazy girl. And knowing my bad luck, my first actual date will also be with a crazy girl. With my current attitude (excessive pride, unwillingness to back off when I'm wrong), what are the chances of me escaping with at least half of my vital organs intact?

I'm fucked, aren't I?

[Roxie]

Only if you're determined to be.

[japanat]

Just how insecure are you? Recently, you've been reveling in 'being a prick', and then asking if that's OK? A real prick doesn't care! It's kind of like being cool - if you have to act cool, or say you're cool, then you aren't.

I actually understand why you're angry about people judging your decision to remain celibate, but you have to remember one thing: You're telling all your innermost secrets to random strangers on the net, hoping to find acceptance. Not only that, but you chose a forum where many of the threads are about very sexual matters. Ask for advice, sure; but don't be surprised when folks can't relate.

Sometimes you bring up decent ideas and topics in other threads, but other times you try to be the funny guy. Dude, you need practice being 'funny'. All you do is make people roll their eyes. You have said you aren't a kid, but often when I read your posts, especially in this thread, I think 14-yrs-old, with a major Napoleon Complex.

[manrush]

Just how insecure are you? Recently, you've been reveling in 'being a prick', and then asking if that's OK? A real prick doesn't care! It's kind of like being cool - if you have to act cool, or say you're cool, then you aren't.

I actually understand why you're angry about people judging your decision to remain celibate, but you have to remember one thing: You're telling all your innermost secrets to random strangers on the net, hoping to find acceptance. Not only that, but you chose a forum where many of the threads are about very sexual matters. Ask for advice, sure; but don't be surprised when folks can't relate.

Sometimes you bring up decent ideas and topics in other threads, but other times you try to be the funny guy. Dude, you need practice being 'funny'. All you do is make people roll their eyes. You have said you aren't a kid, but often when I read your posts, especially in this thread, I think 14-yrs-old, with a major Napoleon Complex.

I just say stupid shit. I'm not really insecure. I'm gonna tone it down. The whole abstinence thing I said matter-of-factly (it's not an innermost secret), I was not really looking for acceptance. But I'll clean up my act and watch what I post. I'm actually gonna try to be more serious. But I'll be careful what I say.

To everyone: sorry for my tirade.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I'm not being a troll. I'm just angry at always having to fucking justify myself when I don't need to justify myself.
Quite true everyone, he's not being a troll, he's being a right defensive cunt with severe insecurity issues and most likely a minute wang.

I NEVER said anything about being afraid of sex. What I'm pissed off about is people patronising me and telling me how I should live MY life and calling me abnormal because I think differently. I never wanted a lecture by people who think "silly MR, you don't know what's good for you." So I lash out by writing angry posts such as the few above (i.e. me being a prick, or me saying that I'm lying). I'm not overly sensitive, I just don't like being patronised by people who don't know me. People don't have to agree with me, just don't try to force your opinions on me.
I wonder why people would find you abnormal because you think differently? I mean, abnormal means being different from the norm, and thinking differently means that you don't think like the norm, so there's definitely no connection there.

Oh, wait, yes there is. You're whining about people calling you something you've defined yourself as.

"Hello, my name is Maniacal Russian, and I'm a right cunt."
"Hello Maniacal Russian."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I AM! HOW DARE YOU PATRONIZE ME!"

I also love the whole, "I'm not overly sensitive! I just have to defend my beliefs against people who comment on my abnormal life choices that I've publicly voiced and asked for comments on!" angle. It's cute. Pathetic, mind you, but cute. You could go somewhere with this. Like a psychiatric ward. Endearing, really (to the manufacturers of psychotropic substances to regulate mood).

Newsflash: You're odd, you're insecure, you're a fucking wreck, and the worst part is you know it but feel the need to defend it while asking for acceptance.

Have I, even once forced my opinions about sex on anybody? No. Give me an example where I did just that?
Could it be all the times you asked for us all to accept your abnormal behaviour, despite it being abnormal? Or is asking us to accept your oddball choices NOT forcing your opinions about sex on us?

Perhaps you'd be better welcomed at a monastery or a eunuch convention.

You asked for help. We tried to help. You disregarded our help. You whined that we were patronizing. You tried to shuttup before you buried yourself. You kept coming back. You kept whining. You kept making yourself look like a grade A juvenile prick with an inferiority complex.

And you wonder why you're being patronizing? You act younger than the children of some of the members of this board, and have a temper worse than that of a 2 year-old.

Wah wah wah.

Hush. Poor widdle baby can't take the heat. Get the fuck out of the kitchen.

[manrush]

Quite true everyone, he's not being a troll, he's being a right defensive cunt with severe insecurity issues and most likely a minute wang.


I wonder why people would find you abnormal because you think differently? I mean, abnormal means being different from the norm, and thinking differently means that you don't think like the norm, so there's definitely no connection there.

Oh, wait, yes there is. You're whining about people calling you something you've defined yourself as.

"Hello, my name is Maniacal Russian, and I'm a right cunt."
"Hello Maniacal Russian."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I AM! HOW DARE YOU PATRONIZE ME!"

I also love the whole, "I'm not overly sensitive! I just have to defend my beliefs against people who comment on my abnormal life choices that I've publicly voiced and asked for comments on!" angle. It's cute. Pathetic, mind you, but cute. You could go somewhere with this. Like a psychiatric ward. Endearing, really (to the manufacturers of psychotropic substances to regulate mood).

Newsflash: You're odd, you're insecure, you're a fucking wreck, and the worst part is you know it but feel the need to defend it while asking for acceptance.


Could it be all the times you asked for us all to accept your abnormal behaviour, despite it being abnormal? Or is asking us to accept your oddball choices NOT forcing your opinions about sex on us?

Perhaps you'd be better welcomed at a monastery or a eunuch convention.

You asked for help. We tried to help. You disregarded our help. You whined that we were patronizing. You tried to shuttup before you buried yourself. You kept coming back. You kept whining. You kept making yourself look like a grade A juvenile prick with an inferiority complex.

And you wonder why you're being patronizing? You act younger than the children of some of the members of this board, and have a temper worse than that of a 2 year-old.

Wah wah wah.

Hush. Poor widdle baby can't take the heat. Get the fuck out of the kitchen.


Point conceded. I knew you were right from the beginning. I just didn't want to admit it. Now I admit I was wrong. My pride hindered me for some time, but I've overcome it. I was wrong, you were right. End of story. No hard feelings?

Note to self: always be on the same side as PLF during a debate.

[stsparky]

I'm still gonna comment on this thread. And I haven't done anything that would warrant a ban from OP9. ... I'm a lost cause? That is presuming that you thought you could convince me to see things your way. You though wrong. ... Did you actually believe that I was telling the truth? I lied because I ALWAYS lie. That's just what I do. ... And by the way. You were mocking me from the very beginning. And guess what: it doesn't work on me.

If I banned you I couldn't mock you. That said I think - the rest of us will use this thread to allow the more socially adjusted kids hook up and such. Wallow in the stench of your own unfitness.

[Micah the Great]

... a minute wang.
That's awesome. LOL.

MR, you're not too far gone, but apparently crazy... just like most ppl on here. I think i understand what you were going for when you were calling yourself a "prick" ..but i'm thinking it was the wrong word. I think you should be looking more for PLF's "prick". I think he's an ass, and someone might call him a prick, but no one can deny he's confident and honest. He's telling you truth, which in the end should be helpful. Don't run around in circles with your words and intent. Whether it's girls or debating... be confident and honest. It clears life up much more.

[xtine]

Perhaps you'd be better welcomed at a monastery or a eunuch convention.


I <3 you, PLF.

[Televisions_Nick]

I've put my penis in a vagina.

... accept me?

[Pierrot le Fou]

I <3 you, PLF.
I don't love you, but if you're able to be discrete, appear in Japan, are good looking, and have some sort of talent in the bedroom (or the living room, the balcony, bathroom, whatever), then we may be able to work out something mutually* beneficial.


* 'mutually' only applies in select conditions, beg, plead, and give good head for details

[xtine]

PLF, I don't love you, but I heart you. <3 YOU!!! Sheesh, learn the difference. I'm discrete, but I don't usually appear in Japan. Other than for food. I miss you, kansai-food. And not sex. Unfortunately.

[ミュー]

If being a twat were a crime, not even Jesus Christ himself could pardon your ass.

Seriously, you asked for dating tips on the Internet and then proceeded to make a complete ass out of yourself. That's like... admitting that you're a complete loser and then going on to infer that you're a conceited complete loser as well. I feel sorry for anyone that gave him advice on how to get the pussy, because personally I would be horrified knowing that my advice could potentially help this d00d get laid.

[Pierrot le Fou]

If being a twat were a crime, not even Jesus Christ himself could pardon your ass.
Quite true! For if he were a twat, he would have no ass to pardon!

[manrush]

True, I am a twat. But a twat doesn't always stay a twat. I wasn't looking for acceptance. I whined when I heard things that I did not want to hear. I'm more eloquent an less whiny in real life. But you guys beat me fairly. Once again, I concede defeat. One of these days I'll see the light.

[Televisions_Nick]

Sarcasm is soooooo cool.

[manrush]

I'm being serious.

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

One problem you have is that you think a self-hating Jew like Larry David is actually funny. Seinfied always struck me as boring. Especially when the pretend losers were making a million dollars an episode for incredibly dull TV. I was busy having sex when it was on NBC. So you shouldn't reference it as it dates you as someone who is watching the re-runs now and is out-of-date today.

Well don't bring up meeting all the monty python members as it labels you as someone who is out-of-date today...Yes I watch Seinfeld re-runs from time to time, sometimes I re-watch the movie Brazil, sometimes I re-read Catch 22, sometimes I listen to the Beach Boys or Velvet Underground. Do these things label me as out-of-date I don't think so. But while we are analyzing each others references you found it necessary to mention that you were "busying having sex" while I was watching Seinfeld. I find this comment rather pathetic. I watch Seinfeld, read books, listen to music, etc. because I enjoy doing it, among other reasons but I don't do it as consolation instead of sex.

Sorry that the references bothered you but I brought them up because they are a decent reference point for the kind of over analyzing I tend to do in social situations (asking out a close friend is just an example of that).


This shell you present to the world is a false front - it needs to be discarded. Dating and mating is about your fitness in the eyes of the person you want to spend time with. This is where Maniacal Russian fails. The shell your think protects you marks you as a phoney to be avoided at all costs.

I used the term "shell" but that was an exaggration/joke. In reality, I'm quite a shy person (around new people) and this is probably due to a mix of this "over analyzing-awkward awareness", a lack of self confidence, a distaste for social politics and that bullshit, etc.


Your goals are now:
Be honest.
Communicate your goals in a forthright manner.
Do the right things:
Get tested for STDs/HIV if you're not a virgin.
Avoid future STD risks. No drunkenly doing hookers after a bachelor party.
Invest in protection and inform your partner of your choices.

Never hurts to ask where you stand in another's eyes.

Thanks for the detailed response though, I am actually curious about the "communicate your goals in a forthright manner" point, could you elabourate on that?

[PopCulturePooka]

We're done here. Got silly and out of hand. Want to continue this in PM's girls and boys?