Mushu
09-17-2005, 02:39 AM
Tonight I went on a date with a pretty girl, half Swedish, half Iranian. I took to her to an interactive play about a woman who was Irakien Kurd, who talked about culture clashes between immigrants and Swedish people, about Saddam, the death of her sister back in Syrian. It was stand up comedy, that made you laugh so hard that you stomach hurt then made you almost cry as she talked about the things Saddam did to her people and her sister and right before you started crying, she would twist it and make you laugh again. It was brilliant to say the least.
After the play we went to a coffee shop and had some tee, I didn’t like the tee but as she insisted on paying, I took had what she was having. We talk a lot about what we were going to do, she thought it was amazing that I was going to Japan just like that and that my mother and father didn’t mind. She said that her father gave her hard time for a having a boyfriend and that her parents split up because of it. She has just gotten, sort of, out of a 3 year relationship.
Side Note: Don’t know if I’m the rebound guy, personally I don’t care, the way she looks and her personally is fucking great and I want to get with it.
Before the play she asked if I wanted to put a book I’d with me in her bag, so I did. At 20.30 she said she had to go to a farewell party for her former boss as he was leaving for another job and I followed her to the subway, underground for you damn brits. I got a hug and a kiss on the cheek as it was our first date.
She said that she would call me and take me to a standup show next weekend and that she was paying for it. I said okay and off she went.
Now you are thinking that I just forgot about the book but I didn’t. See I knew that if I left it in her bag, she would find it sooner or later and then she would call and we would talk and stuff.
Yes I’m a bastard, but a bastard that plans ahead.
I was in the middle of down town and didn’t want to go home just yet, so I made 3 phone calls. First one was to one of my best friends, he said he was going to play the guitar tonight as he hasn’t done for over 2 weeks now. The second one was boring; he didn’t want to do anything. I asked him if he would like to call up some people and play poker but he just wanted to sit home, drink beer and watch TV. The third one was the funny Swede, the one from the French tickler and the one that got away editorials.
He was with his nephew that turned 15 on Wednesday and he was going to take him to arcade/bowling place and asked me if wanted to join, it was going to be just the 3 of us and I said sure. He picked me up and we drove the arcade/bowling place. We bowled for about 3 hours, got bored, did some arcading, again got bored and decide to head home as the birthday kid was supposed to be home before midnight.
While leaving the garage, mike, he wants to be called Mike Cunt, i changed it to Hunt, in my editorials, don’t ask why, decided to make the tires scream and by doing that set of 2 alarms and speeded through 2 roundabouts to the highway that had max speed of 90km/h.
While on the highway, there was a white Audi that followed real close behind us and after like a min or so changed lanes from the middle one to the left one, the high speed lane and passed us by thinking that he showed us that our Honda Civic wasn’t a match to his Audi. I asked Mike to show him what the civic can do and in couple of second he was doing 170km/h and burned by the Audi. Zigzagging through the lanes Mike realized there was a green/blue Volvo with tinted windows following us, civil cops drive those. And surely it was and we got pulled over.
Mike was asked to step out of the car and step into the cop’s car. After 5 min me and the birthday boy got bored, and then I saw that birthday boy had a copy-book with him so I asked him if he had a pen too.
I started to write on the copy-book with huge letters. The first thing I wrote was 3 words, SKEET SKEET SKEET and pushed the copy-book on the rear window, only Mike saw it and almost lost it in the cop’s car. He shook his head and gave that ‘STOP IT or I’ll fucking kill you’ look but I couldn’t stop.
I was going to write ‘HELP ME’ but I knew that would have serious consequences so I didn’t, maybe I should have.
Second thing I wrote was ‘AND HE CRIED LIKE A BITCH’ and Mike started to giggle. The police officer looked at Mike and I quickly remove the copy-book and sat straight up and looked at the rear viewing window to see if the cop saw me but he just looked at mike funny and then returned to writing again.
I wrote couple of other stuff that wasn’t that funny like ‘HE FARTED’, ‘IT SMELLS’, ‘OWNED’ and so on but Mike kept a straight face till I wrote ‘DO THE FRENCH TICKLER’ (http://www.outpostnine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=350) then he lost it and started to laugh out loud and I was already laughing my ass off that I forgot to remove the copy-book. The cop saw this and started to yell at Mike, I was rolled up in the back seat, laughing my guts out and the birthday was confused like hell that I didn’t notice the cop getting out of his car and sticking his head through the driving seat window until he started to yell at us.
I couldn’t hear much of what he was saying other then ‘Do you find speeding funny? As I couldn’t stop laughing then said ‘lets see if you find this funny’ and walked away to his car.
Couple of minutes later Mike came back with a grin face and started to drive, few minutes later he said that his driving license was revoked for 3 month and got 300 dollars fine.
After dropping me off he said ‘I’m really glad you didn’t write “help me” because then I would have had to kill you’ and I just smiled at him and walked away. Surprisingly I heard him speeding through my neighborhood before I reach front door of the apartment.
He joked about the whole situation all the way to my place. Now that’s what I call having a sense of humor and being a good friend, that after having you license revoked and getting a huge fine like that and still be able to say ‘that was a good one, you got me’.
So now I’ve to pay 150$ of the fine, even though he said I didn’t have to.
After the play we went to a coffee shop and had some tee, I didn’t like the tee but as she insisted on paying, I took had what she was having. We talk a lot about what we were going to do, she thought it was amazing that I was going to Japan just like that and that my mother and father didn’t mind. She said that her father gave her hard time for a having a boyfriend and that her parents split up because of it. She has just gotten, sort of, out of a 3 year relationship.
Side Note: Don’t know if I’m the rebound guy, personally I don’t care, the way she looks and her personally is fucking great and I want to get with it.
Before the play she asked if I wanted to put a book I’d with me in her bag, so I did. At 20.30 she said she had to go to a farewell party for her former boss as he was leaving for another job and I followed her to the subway, underground for you damn brits. I got a hug and a kiss on the cheek as it was our first date.
She said that she would call me and take me to a standup show next weekend and that she was paying for it. I said okay and off she went.
Now you are thinking that I just forgot about the book but I didn’t. See I knew that if I left it in her bag, she would find it sooner or later and then she would call and we would talk and stuff.
Yes I’m a bastard, but a bastard that plans ahead.
I was in the middle of down town and didn’t want to go home just yet, so I made 3 phone calls. First one was to one of my best friends, he said he was going to play the guitar tonight as he hasn’t done for over 2 weeks now. The second one was boring; he didn’t want to do anything. I asked him if he would like to call up some people and play poker but he just wanted to sit home, drink beer and watch TV. The third one was the funny Swede, the one from the French tickler and the one that got away editorials.
He was with his nephew that turned 15 on Wednesday and he was going to take him to arcade/bowling place and asked me if wanted to join, it was going to be just the 3 of us and I said sure. He picked me up and we drove the arcade/bowling place. We bowled for about 3 hours, got bored, did some arcading, again got bored and decide to head home as the birthday kid was supposed to be home before midnight.
While leaving the garage, mike, he wants to be called Mike Cunt, i changed it to Hunt, in my editorials, don’t ask why, decided to make the tires scream and by doing that set of 2 alarms and speeded through 2 roundabouts to the highway that had max speed of 90km/h.
While on the highway, there was a white Audi that followed real close behind us and after like a min or so changed lanes from the middle one to the left one, the high speed lane and passed us by thinking that he showed us that our Honda Civic wasn’t a match to his Audi. I asked Mike to show him what the civic can do and in couple of second he was doing 170km/h and burned by the Audi. Zigzagging through the lanes Mike realized there was a green/blue Volvo with tinted windows following us, civil cops drive those. And surely it was and we got pulled over.
Mike was asked to step out of the car and step into the cop’s car. After 5 min me and the birthday boy got bored, and then I saw that birthday boy had a copy-book with him so I asked him if he had a pen too.
I started to write on the copy-book with huge letters. The first thing I wrote was 3 words, SKEET SKEET SKEET and pushed the copy-book on the rear window, only Mike saw it and almost lost it in the cop’s car. He shook his head and gave that ‘STOP IT or I’ll fucking kill you’ look but I couldn’t stop.
I was going to write ‘HELP ME’ but I knew that would have serious consequences so I didn’t, maybe I should have.
Second thing I wrote was ‘AND HE CRIED LIKE A BITCH’ and Mike started to giggle. The police officer looked at Mike and I quickly remove the copy-book and sat straight up and looked at the rear viewing window to see if the cop saw me but he just looked at mike funny and then returned to writing again.
I wrote couple of other stuff that wasn’t that funny like ‘HE FARTED’, ‘IT SMELLS’, ‘OWNED’ and so on but Mike kept a straight face till I wrote ‘DO THE FRENCH TICKLER’ (http://www.outpostnine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=350) then he lost it and started to laugh out loud and I was already laughing my ass off that I forgot to remove the copy-book. The cop saw this and started to yell at Mike, I was rolled up in the back seat, laughing my guts out and the birthday was confused like hell that I didn’t notice the cop getting out of his car and sticking his head through the driving seat window until he started to yell at us.
I couldn’t hear much of what he was saying other then ‘Do you find speeding funny? As I couldn’t stop laughing then said ‘lets see if you find this funny’ and walked away to his car.
Couple of minutes later Mike came back with a grin face and started to drive, few minutes later he said that his driving license was revoked for 3 month and got 300 dollars fine.
After dropping me off he said ‘I’m really glad you didn’t write “help me” because then I would have had to kill you’ and I just smiled at him and walked away. Surprisingly I heard him speeding through my neighborhood before I reach front door of the apartment.
He joked about the whole situation all the way to my place. Now that’s what I call having a sense of humor and being a good friend, that after having you license revoked and getting a huge fine like that and still be able to say ‘that was a good one, you got me’.
So now I’ve to pay 150$ of the fine, even though he said I didn’t have to.