Wizdom
09-16-2005, 12:39 AM
Aint That a Bitch pt 4
Because Jay the Man, Brutha Fujin, Mushu, and e-sister Shamu wants it, here's another ATAB story.
*Disclaimer: this may contain explicit material that may gross out some people.
* This story also occurs when I was a self proclaimed “Playa” (don’t worry I’m not that ignorant and immature anymore)
The setup: This story occurred when I was in undergrad (mmmmmmmh college! Where nerds get play and thongs get dropped…..drool…)
Ok so when I was about a junior in college I started to get a lot of attention from girls. I mean I always knew I was handsome but then again every mom thinks her son is handsome.
One Day when I was chilling in the cafeteria, I get the Club Eye.
*The Club Eye is something I coined in college. Its when your at a club dancing, chilling or whatever and a girl/guy who’ve had a couple drinks gives you that glossed over look, as if to say “Damn you look good! I want to see you naked!, or I’m Taking you home tonight”.
The beauty about The Club Eye is that you can get it from anywhere at anytime. And in college it usually means “Lets do this, NOW!” because in college you don’t need a whole lot of reasons to have sex. If your down and I’m down then let do it.
So I get The Club Eye from this chick and she looked good too. The only thing was that she was on the heavy side. Now when it comes to women I am an equally opportunity employer. I love them anyway, any shape and any color. Cause as my Homie Daz once said “ its all the same when the lights go out!”
But she was xtra heavy. In fact she might have had a little too much Ass for Wiz to handle. I mean she was like 200 pounds………. Per leg!!.. lol nah she was a biggum.
So after some small talk and some introductions we go to my room.
Playa tip#1: Never take a girl back to your room: cause now she knows where you live and can stalk you at anytime. Plus after you “Do the dew!” you can slip out the room and run like crackhead on speed.
But since I was a new playa I didn’t know the first rule. ><
Playa tip #2: Always keep a xtra duffle bag in the trunk of your car. In the bag put some toothpaste, toothbrush 2 towels, deodorant, a change of cloths and soap. If you put the cloths in a plastic bag and put the soap in that bag. Then your cloths will smell good when you take them out. Not like a greasy mechanic. You do this because you never know when you’re going to be in a situation where you gonna get some punnay!
But since I broke the first rule and was in my crib I didn’t have to use these precautions. Which would bite my ass later.
I turn the ceiling lights off and the black lights on. I put on some smooth groves and it was on!!
Now I don’t mean to brag about my sexual prowess or my wang but we were banging it and banging it well. Now because I’m 6’4 and a little muscular, and shes fatter than Roseanne Barr pregnant, my bed was making a lot of noise. It was hitting the wall so hard it sounded like a construction crew was in my room. Plus this chick was making crazy loud noise. And since I was a RA I was trying to be discreet, I was trying to tell her not to be so loud. But this girl was going berserk!, she sounded like a hillbilly at a rodeo!
I had to put a pillow over her face (not to be rude) but she was louder than Steve Tyler in concert at the Superdome.
Then my worst nightmare came true. I let her get on top and she rode me like Buffalo Bill. I was GOTDAMN this fat chick and really bounce….. then BAM! She broke the bed. She BROKE my GOTDAMN bed. And even worst, if anyone in my dorm didn’t hear us before, they heard us now because when it collapsed it damn near shook the foundation of the building.
It was about this time when I smelled sound thing foul in my room. See when you bangin it against the wall you loose all sense except touch. But now that we stopped, all my senses was rushing back at warp speed. My room smelled like Baaducissy. (Butt Dick and Pussy).
See this is why you go to her house. You can funk it all up. Use tip 2 and get the hell out.
But after she destroyed my room she left! But not before setting up round 2 at another place and time because well, She had some good ass punnay.
Because Jay the Man, Brutha Fujin, Mushu, and e-sister Shamu wants it, here's another ATAB story.
*Disclaimer: this may contain explicit material that may gross out some people.
* This story also occurs when I was a self proclaimed “Playa” (don’t worry I’m not that ignorant and immature anymore)
The setup: This story occurred when I was in undergrad (mmmmmmmh college! Where nerds get play and thongs get dropped…..drool…)
Ok so when I was about a junior in college I started to get a lot of attention from girls. I mean I always knew I was handsome but then again every mom thinks her son is handsome.
One Day when I was chilling in the cafeteria, I get the Club Eye.
*The Club Eye is something I coined in college. Its when your at a club dancing, chilling or whatever and a girl/guy who’ve had a couple drinks gives you that glossed over look, as if to say “Damn you look good! I want to see you naked!, or I’m Taking you home tonight”.
The beauty about The Club Eye is that you can get it from anywhere at anytime. And in college it usually means “Lets do this, NOW!” because in college you don’t need a whole lot of reasons to have sex. If your down and I’m down then let do it.
So I get The Club Eye from this chick and she looked good too. The only thing was that she was on the heavy side. Now when it comes to women I am an equally opportunity employer. I love them anyway, any shape and any color. Cause as my Homie Daz once said “ its all the same when the lights go out!”
But she was xtra heavy. In fact she might have had a little too much Ass for Wiz to handle. I mean she was like 200 pounds………. Per leg!!.. lol nah she was a biggum.
So after some small talk and some introductions we go to my room.
Playa tip#1: Never take a girl back to your room: cause now she knows where you live and can stalk you at anytime. Plus after you “Do the dew!” you can slip out the room and run like crackhead on speed.
But since I was a new playa I didn’t know the first rule. ><
Playa tip #2: Always keep a xtra duffle bag in the trunk of your car. In the bag put some toothpaste, toothbrush 2 towels, deodorant, a change of cloths and soap. If you put the cloths in a plastic bag and put the soap in that bag. Then your cloths will smell good when you take them out. Not like a greasy mechanic. You do this because you never know when you’re going to be in a situation where you gonna get some punnay!
But since I broke the first rule and was in my crib I didn’t have to use these precautions. Which would bite my ass later.
I turn the ceiling lights off and the black lights on. I put on some smooth groves and it was on!!
Now I don’t mean to brag about my sexual prowess or my wang but we were banging it and banging it well. Now because I’m 6’4 and a little muscular, and shes fatter than Roseanne Barr pregnant, my bed was making a lot of noise. It was hitting the wall so hard it sounded like a construction crew was in my room. Plus this chick was making crazy loud noise. And since I was a RA I was trying to be discreet, I was trying to tell her not to be so loud. But this girl was going berserk!, she sounded like a hillbilly at a rodeo!
I had to put a pillow over her face (not to be rude) but she was louder than Steve Tyler in concert at the Superdome.
Then my worst nightmare came true. I let her get on top and she rode me like Buffalo Bill. I was GOTDAMN this fat chick and really bounce….. then BAM! She broke the bed. She BROKE my GOTDAMN bed. And even worst, if anyone in my dorm didn’t hear us before, they heard us now because when it collapsed it damn near shook the foundation of the building.
It was about this time when I smelled sound thing foul in my room. See when you bangin it against the wall you loose all sense except touch. But now that we stopped, all my senses was rushing back at warp speed. My room smelled like Baaducissy. (Butt Dick and Pussy).
See this is why you go to her house. You can funk it all up. Use tip 2 and get the hell out.
But after she destroyed my room she left! But not before setting up round 2 at another place and time because well, She had some good ass punnay.