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Wizdom
09-13-2005, 12:07 AM
Aint That a Bitch pt 3

Because Jay the Man and Fujin wants it, here's another ATAB story.

This ones actually a quickie until I finish the next real one.


The setup: When I was a kid my favorite pastime was "does it burn" and my sister’s favorite pastime was " I’m telling mom".

"Does it burn” consisted of me rummaging around the house finding all sort of materials and chemicals and testing to see if it burned. I blame all scientific curiosity because of those Mr. Wizard TV shows. (Any child of the 80s knows who I'm talking about) Between Mr.Wizard, McGuyver and the A-team I had a strong urge to make stuff and blow it up.

Consequently "I'm telling mom" was my sister's reaction to me trying to blow up the neighborhood. It seemed like every time my Homies and me were having fun, just being mischievous boys, my sister comes and breaks up the fun. I felt like those criminals in Scooby Do. " I would have got away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!!" yeah I felt like that guy. Needless to say I despised my sister when I was young. And the Homies had no love for her either.

The real trouble came when I got a hold of the original anarchist cookbook. Damnit if I wasn't trying all sorts of stuff. I even got a hold of some M80s and tried to amplify it. That all stopped when I made a bomb so loud that my mom thought I was trying to signal the recon for world war 3.

The event:
So one day, my Homies and I were running around knocking on peoples doors and running away, (I told you we was lil bastards), when we stumbled on a goldmine. A Mailman had left behind some mace. And our first reaction was " YO!! Lets light it on fire." I grab the mace, shoke it up and proceeded to light the gushing liquid.

It was about this time when my sisters comes running towards us.

"Hey what are you guys doing!... Im telling mAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.........."

My sister ran directly into the mace line of fire and even worst. She took a direct hit in the eye.

She let out the most horrifying, loudest death howl I have ever heard. It sounded like Godzilla getting Kanchoed by King Kong.

I look around at my friends for help but they took off and ran like freed slaves.

My father runs out the house and lets out a "BOMBA!!" what the.....

And I prepared for the worst beating of my life. Only, I didn't get one.. My parents were so intent on cleaning out her eyes and stop the Kancho screams that they totally forgot about me.

I'm glad to say that my sister is ok and she doesn't have any ill effects from that faithful day and I am truly sorry for macing her.. But deep down inside ,I secretly think that karma maced her not me.

Ahimsa
09-13-2005, 12:16 AM
For all you youngins who don't know who are hero Mr. Wizard is :

http://www.mrwizardstudios.com/mrwizardsworld_mainpage.htm


I loved that show!

And dammit Wiz! She'll get you back one day, when you least expect it. :P

Wizdom
09-13-2005, 12:19 AM
OMG they have it on dvd!!

* add Mr. Wizard's World to stuff i need but cant afford..lol

Myrsilus
09-13-2005, 12:23 AM
Oh man... That sucks. Still funny as hell, though.

BOMBA!!

Your editorials rock. "Ran like freed slaves." XD

Mushu
09-13-2005, 01:03 AM
hahah once again you have done it mate
I get the feeling that me and you somewhat, well fucked up, are competing for laughter’s in here with our tragic stories :D

An the award for the funniest story tellers on OP9 goes too *drumm rol....*

....

Wizdom
09-13-2005, 01:19 AM
thank you brutha fujin and mushu...it means alot to me =)

Shamu
09-13-2005, 01:31 AM
While I feel sorry for your sister...That was really funny!
And I love your wording! Classic! :D

Wizdom
09-13-2005, 01:32 AM
Thank you Shammy Sham!!!!

B RoCkS1010
09-13-2005, 01:44 AM
damn man u have the funniest shit in ur stories "ran like freed slaves" ahahaha

Jay
09-14-2005, 12:48 PM
Once again you've exceeded expectations, mate. You've got the knack for making funny editorials, just like Az.

Already looking forward to the next one! :D

Edit: "BOMBACLOT!" :D:D

Idlethought
09-13-2007, 04:43 AM
That's what happens to meddling kids