100 things to do when you're an evil overlord

[nemuri]

this may be old, but i really REALLY envoy reading this text

http://pcy5.backuppage.googlepages.com/overlord1.htm

i would DREAM of a movie with THAT kind of bad guy.
I can immagine a scenario : A guy, let's call him Azrael, wants to be an evil overlord because it seems more fun than his present job (let's say he translates underware commercials for overseas market)
He build up his own army and start being evil. BUT, because he is an intelligent bad guy, he sets up those rules, and he follows them by the letter.
A rebelion is formed and tries to kill him, but everytime they send a hero he gets killed thanks to the rules. And everytime there is a new hero the story goes "but after all those failed attempt, a true hero was sent to save the world" and it looks as though NOW there's gonna be a real fight. But no, Az always wins.
Of course at the end he rules the world.

btw, it's not from Az, although it's written with a similar sence of humour, it's from a Peter guy

[MNJetter]

Actually, it's a collection written by many people. Peter just runs the website.

You can find the original here (http://www.eviloverlord.com/)

P.S. This thread should probably be in RWPW.

[Neon Pink Shoehorn]

I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

Say what you want about the Nazis, but they had style, damnit.

[Plekto]

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
***
That's my favorite one.

Screw Hollywood. My version would be:
"Ah, Mister Bond.. I see you failed to avoid my guards..."(pulls out a gun and shoots him 3 times) Total time elapsed: 5 seconds. Even the most critically injured person uusally takes several minutes to actually die. Plenty of time to do question and answer time then.

***
I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
***
This one is also classic.

***
Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
***
And this one is actually used by some government agencies today. What you can't fit onto a floppy/media isn't going to be a security problem. Of course, I'd pad it to 3 or 4 megs of extra binary data so that it couldn't be compressed, either. :)

[Y.T.]

Say what you want about the Nazis, but they had style, damnit.


Well.. you know. SS uniforms were designed and made by Hugo Boss ..
They don't advertise that fact much nowadays..

And this one is actually used by some government agencies today. What you can't fit onto a floppy/media isn't going to be a security problem. Of course, I'd pad it to 3 or 4 megs of extra binary data so that it couldn't be compressed, either.


Hey you ? You still live in 1995 ? Haven't you ever heard of flash cards, minidrives, CD-Burners ?
Or those nice usb storage devices ? Which can be easily hidden almost anywhere ?

[Neon Pink Shoehorn]

huh. I didn't know that. learn something new every day. Though I prolly could've guessed, since a lot of companies that were german and around in those days made some iconic Nazi memorbilia. Kubelwagens, anyone? I just like saying Kubelwagen. It's a fun word.

[b4k4ni04]

Hey you ? You still live in 1995 ? Haven't you ever heard of flash cards, minidrives, CD-Burners ?
Or those nice usb storage devices ? Which can be easily hidden almost anywhere ?

Yeah, floppys are essentially obsolete nowadays. with flash-mem usb chibi things that go anywhere from 32 Mb to ... multiple gig.
I've seen 1 gb I assume there are probably 2-4 hell even 8 Gb soon to be released, if not already out. Increasing a file's size to 1.45 Mb will do you nothing.
Ah, poor overlords.. technology may foil you yet. ... then again, what's to keep the overlord from keeping all his sensitive data on his own 2Gb flash-mem stick? >>? mwahahaha. ... just dont lose it _(_)_.


#5: <snip> It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

just dont let your son know the combo to that safe.. Flame Alchemist 1, Pride 0. ... wait let me see what the rest of this says about offspring >>;.
phooie foiled by rule 18.

[Soli]

I've seen this a long time ago. But it's still good! :)

[Jetsetlemming]

Hey you ? You still live in 1995 ? Haven't you ever heard of flash cards, minidrives, CD-Burners ?
Or those nice usb storage devices ? Which can be easily hidden almost anywhere ?
The list was written in 1994, jackass. :rofl:

[Y.T.]

And this one is actually used by some government agencies today. What you can't fit onto a floppy/media isn't going to be a security problem. Of course, I'd pad it to 3 or 4 megs of extra binary data so that it couldn't be compressed, either.


My response is quite appropriate. Those agencies surely live in the past, or more likely, Plekto is spewing nonsense as usual.

[Plekto]

Actually, many places that have security concerns have disabled the usb ports(usually only the internal ones work - and the cables are passed through a hole), no burner - and only a floppy. Then they are bolted to something heavy in a security chassis that makes getting into them essentially impossible without a blowtorch.

Shoot, my old university - actually both of them did exactly this in all of the labs.

Of course, really secure locations have removeable drives and store them in a vault these days. Nobody's getting that data very easily.

[MNJetter]

The list was written in 1994

I think it took a few years for the list to be compiled (note: compiled, not written). Maybe it started in 1994, it was still being "written" as of about a year and a half ago. It's not anymore, but I think the webmaster plans on re-opening for suggestions in the future.

So 1995 is still valid. :D