My Story in Japanese

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

I'm writing a story, but I put it in Japanese for a friend who wants to read it, but it also might help in their language class.

I got an advanced language tool (no Google here), but I doubt it makes any sense.

I want to check to make sure. First two paragraphs:

雨は Outlandsで早いペースで降っていた。 それとして塵およびがちゃんと音がする騒音に当るので鈍いどしんが錫の屋根で上陸させるそれを与える地面の 各しぶき。 Jero Ghramは雨の彼の2人の息子の演劇を見る彼の椅子に坐った。 彼は赤い塵および割れた道の無限の土地として彼の家を越えるOutlandの伸張を見ることが できる。 年のこの区域のためにいつでも奇妙だった寒い気候で持って来られる雨。 彼は子供が水溜で笑い、はねかけたと同時に彼の刺だらけのひげおよび微笑をなでた。 彼の指は軽く彼の顎に彼の右の耳の下で動いた彼の傷に触れた。 茶色のひげはそれを覆ったが、彼は常に知っている誰も覆ってもそこにあったことを。

前に彼の息子が生まれた前に戦争で数年戦っている彼はそれを得た。 彼は少数の月彼が病院から排出された後Katelynに会った。 彼はJeroが彼女に彼と結婚するように頼むことができるようにそれが時間がかからなかったこと彼女にすぐ に恋した。 彼女は後妊娠してこと、彼の対の息子 AshielおよびVanielに出産した。 それらは南Babloniaがへの都市環境からの男の子を世話するOutlandに動いた。 Jeroは実際に常緑樹に住みたいと思ったが彼が金に砂を回すよりよいチャンスを有したことを彼はすぐに調 べた。 家は豊富な緑区域の生きている与えたかだれについて刺だらけだった。 従ってそれらは家を造り、前哨2の複数のマイルの南を解決した。 Katelynは都市に戻って移動アカデミーにそれらを登録するためにそれらが男の子8つを回したがJer oは実際に都市を嫌っていたときに述べていた。 彼女は男の子8 の前に前に乳癌で年死んだTh 誕生日。

[Pierrot le Fou]

It depends -- was your grasp of grammar and your creative skill crap in English to begin with, or is that the translator's fault?

[EIJI]

It makes no sense. Original writing please!

[Faumdano]

雨は Outlandsで早いペースで降っていた。 それとして塵およびがちゃんと音がする騒音に当るので鈍いどしんが錫の屋根で上陸させるそれを与える地面の 各しぶき。

The rain was falling at a fast pace in the Outlands. As such, since I was struck with garbage as well as noise that makes a sound like crashing, the dull thump that it made land on the tin roof....

I give up -- it borders on gibberish and screams of machine translation.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Rain was falling in the Outlands at a rapid pace. Each splash on the ground giving it a dull thud as it hits the dust and a clanking noise as it lands on the tin roof. Jero Ghram sat in his chair watching his two sons play in the rain. He could see the Outland stretch beyond his home as an endless land of red dust and cracked roads. The rain brought on cold weather which was strange for this area any time of the year. He stroked his prickly beard and smiling as the children laughed and splashed in the puddles. His fingers lightly touched his scar that ran down his right ear to his chin. The brown beard covered it, but he would always know it was there even if no one else did.

He earned it fighting in the war several years ago before his sons were born. He met Katelyn a few months after he was discharged from the hospital. He fell in love with her quickly that it didn’t take long for Jero to ask her to marry him. She was pregnant after that and gave birth to his twin sons Ashiel and Vaniel. They moved to the Outland south Bablonia to take care of the boys away from a city environment. Jero really wanted to live in the Evergreen, but he soon found out that he had a better chance to turn sand into gold. The Houses were prickly about who they let live in the rich green area. So they built a house and settled several miles south of Outpost 2. Katelyn talked about moving back to the city when they boys turned 8 to enroll them into the Academy, but Jero really disliked the city. She died of breast cancer a year ago before the boys 8th birthday.

There, the original.

I guess it was gibberish, stupid translator tools. What you really need is someone who can grasp the language of Japanese.

[EIJI]

Rain was falling in the Outlands at a rapid pace. Each splash on the ground giving it a dull thud as it hits the dust and a clanking noise as it lands on the tin roof. Jero Ghram sat in his chair watching his two sons play in the rain. He could see the Outland stretch beyond his home as an endless land of red dust and cracked roads. The rain brought on cold weather which was strange for this area any time of the year. He stroked his prickly beard and smiling as the children laughed and splashed in the puddles. His fingers lightly touched his scar that ran down his right ear to his chin. The brown beard covered it, but he would always know it was there even if no one else did.

アウトランドに激しい雨が降っていた。雨のしずくは地面のゴミに当たって鈍く、ブリキ屋根の上では金属的な 耳障りな音を立てていた。ジェロ・グラムは椅子に座って、二人の息子が雨の中で遊んでいるのを見ていた。家 の向こうには赤茶けた塵芥とひび割れた道がアウトランドへと無限に続いていた。雨は季節はずれの奇妙な寒気 をもたらしていた。ジェロはまばらに生えたひげをなでながら子供達が笑い、水たまりで水を跳ね上げているの を微笑みながら眺めていた。彼の指は右耳から顎にかけて付いている傷に触れていた。茶色いひげがその上を覆 っていたが、他人にはわからなくても彼はその傷をいつも意識していた。

[japanat]

Check your English tenses as well, make sure they agree.

"a year ago before..." Do you mean: a year ago, before... or a year ago or a year before...

Sorry, but it's a little confusing in the English. And translation programs just beat the shit out of the best language. A Japanese friend used one to post on his website about fishing, and it ended up saying that he was 'gaming the cello'. Can you figure out what kind of fishing?

[Vic_Rattlehead]

Does it detect relative clauses at all? I can imagine a computerised grammar system identifying the English style of clauses and changing it to the different style of Japanese clauses hard to imagine! (haha this sentence kicks arse --- "I can imagine something as hard to imagine!" - I rule!!)

But I guess I may just be morbidly computer illiterate.

[Crowley]

Check your English tenses as well, make sure they agree.

"a year ago before..." Do you mean: a year ago, before... or a year ago or a year before...

Sorry, but it's a little confusing in the English. And translation programs just beat the shit out of the best language. A Japanese friend used one to post on his website about fishing, and it ended up saying that he was 'gaming the cello'. Can you figure out what kind of fishing?

Haha. Bass. Superb.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Check your English tenses as well, make sure they agree.

"a year ago before..." Do you mean: a year ago, before... or a year ago or a year before...

Sorry, but it's a little confusing in the English. And translation programs just beat the shit out of the best language. A Japanese friend used one to post on his website about fishing, and it ended up saying that he was 'gaming the cello'. Can you figure out what kind of fishing?

I know, I am constantly going back and fixing things grammar wise and making it at least make sense in the story.

There was one point in the story that says this: "Jero had always insisted that his sons always stay away from danger."

If you can figure out the error there then you win a cookie.