Ask a Member of The Opposite Sex!

[Campion]

My question: (this might only be for Japanese guys, i dunno) Why do you always say 2 good things and one 'meh' thing... for example... "Have you lost weight? You look amazing! Didn't spend much time on your thighs though did you..." or "You're so sweet, I love you so much... sometimes you're kindof a bitch though."

I used to do this (and no I'm not proud of it), my previous partner got me out of the habit by trying to drive me insane.. Basically I'd say something along the lines of.. You look fabulous, I love your hair.. but I think your bum looks big in that skirt..

..Yes I know it was stupid NOW. :frypan:

She however got me back by preying on my insecurities, saying things like, 'nice hair.. shame it's receeding so rapidly', only she would do it in public.. Oddly enough, she stopped doing this at the exact point in time that I quit doing it to her.

I don't know why I did it, but I think I always felt a little insecure with her (like I wasn't good enough), but I know better on that one too now!


Campion.

[4letterwords]

I did not see any responses to missoprahwinfrey’s post (#214) - I think the simple answer is just that something came up. If you are worried about it, then ask her what is going on.

I have a question for women – Why do women frequently ask men what they thinking, especially after having sex?

Cuz the majority of women don't feel the fuckers lag like men do, so when their men are quiet in bed after sex they think they've got this big deep thought process when really all they're thinking is "god make this bitch shut up I'm sleepy."

[Fred]

For myself, I am not thinking anything negative. In fact, I am not thinking anything at all. If you could listen in to my thoughts you would be lucky to even get a dial tone.

To be more serious, I am not so much thinking things as experiencing a state of contentment or relaxation. So, it is very difficult to try to answer that question and the effort to do so disturbs the mood.

[seiji]

If I ask what you're thinking after sex, I just want you to tell me it was good. Sure, I can see pretty clearly for myself how much you liked it, but I still like to hear you agree. It must annoy you, though, so I'm trying to get over it. :P

[4letterwords]

I believe the only things I've ever said after sex were:

"Wow... You can try again in an hour."
or
"Ok... let's get a pizza."

I'm not joking. :(

[h2orowe]

Girls, what do you prefer: A pianist or a guitarist? :watson:

[seiji]

A violinist! :P

I personally like piano because it feels more sophisticated (bonus points for playing pretty classical music from memory), but sexiness is about 5% instrument and 95% skill.

[xtine]

I wish I could find any guys that even play instruments at all (rather than know how to play but never play)...
Most of the friends I have don't have much musical talent, including guys. Never really made any good friends in any of the various bands or musical groups I've been in either.

Piano or guitar is a hard-sell for me, because I'd love it if the guy knew either, but I think most girls prefer the guitar. Especially since there's that rock star image going on.

[4letterwords]

Guitarists, in this day and age, tend to be pussies. So I dunno.

[RandomPasserby]

Why are the age and weight of a female a question you shouldn't ask? And why would I get killed if I said "femal poster x, judging from your pictures, your cheeks have gotten rounder?"

[Soli]

Girls, what do you prefer: A pianist or a guitarist? :watson:

Is both an option? :P Any guy who plays an instrument is good in my book.
I seriously don't know which I'd pick. They're both cool for different reasons.

RandomPasserby: Age and weight are personal information. A lot of women are sensitive about their weight/age. I'm not and wouldn't mind if you asked me, but there are people who would not like it at all if you asked!

And rounder = fat, I guess. In most people's minds. I know I'd freak if you told me that! My face is already quite round and I hate it.

[RandomPasserby]

And rounder = fat, I guess. In most people's minds. I know I'd freak if you told me that! My face is already quite round and I hate it.
Weren't you the one who was eating 0-600 calories a day? No offense but with that low amount of consumed energy and still thinking that your face is fat, it sounds a lot like anorexia. And you certainly don't look fat.

Also, I tend to use the word fat if person is fat. "Rounder face" means more like "your face doesn't look like a piece of skin stretched over a skull now!" but sitll, wasn't meaning you, It was hypothetical question :P

[4letterwords]

*Is paranoid you're talking about her*

[RandomPasserby]

Well, actually I was talking about a guy! Now we will have all of op9's guys asking their girlfriends/wives "does my face look fat? Does these jeans make my butt look fat?"

[Soli]

Weren't you the one who was eating 0-600 calories a day? No offense but with that low amount of consumed energy and still thinking that your face is fat, it sounds a lot like anorexia. And you certainly don't look fat.

Also, I tend to use the word fat if person is fat. "Rounder face" means more like "your face doesn't look like a piece of skin stretched over a skull now!" but sitll, wasn't meaning you, It was hypothetical question :P

My face is round. It's just the way it's shaped, and I know that. I was just saying that I'd panic if you told me it looked rounder because I don't like how it's round, not because I thought it was fat. I wasn't trying to relate the two things. (but I've never been good at saying what I mean, so it isn't your fault.) (And I'm not as skinny as everybody thinks. =/)

I guess it's just me that think of roundness relating to fatness. Because when you gain weight you get rounder looking maybe?

P.S. I ate a lot today! A big taco salad and some Oreo's- yummy! But I'll probably not eat anything else because I don't like what's going to be for dinner.

[Lan]

Were we talking about pianists again? =O

I agree about Valentine's. It's more of a nuisance than anything >_>;;; I have enough issues coming up with ideas for anniversaries and such. My gf's standards have dropped though, to a point where she's happy she gets a card every few months =( Oops.

[4letterwords]

Ger her half a dozen roses, clean the house/apartment/car and then go down on her with no expectation of return. That's a valentines day gift.

[Trayal]

Okay girls, I'm a lurker here, but i finally have a chance to ask this question and get a hopefully non biased answer:

Why is it okay for her to have a girls night (which involves getting together with friends and having a night out on the town every other week or so), but it isn't okay for me to have a guy's night out (which involves staying indoors and playing videogames or watching movies once every six months) without a huge discussion (argument) first?

My wife does this and it drives me insane. Is this normal, or is she a jealous control freak?

[Roxie]

imho, she's definently being a little jealous and controlling.

Does she have any reason to think why it would be more than videogames/movie?

[Soli]

Trayal: Maybe you want to do your boy's night at an inconvient time for her and you don't realize it? I'm not sure if that's the case, but with these things I'm sure you'd avoid arguments by sitting down and planning dates to do the girl's/boy's nights out. So everybody knows what's going on. :)

If scheduling isn't the problem and she doesn't want you to have boy's nights out just because she doesn't like that you stay indoors with your video games, then that's rude of her. She can have her girl's night, but you can't have your boy's night? Pfft... Try talking it out with her and explaining that you want an equal chance to have a night of fun every once and awhile.

(but if you didn't know, I'm only 15. Don't listen to me. XD Listen to Roxie.)

[Trayal]

Does she have any reason to think why it would be more than videogames/movie?
No. at least, I hope she doesn't think there is something else going on. :boggled: I trust her enough to do her own thing, i would like to think I am getting the same trust in return.

Trayal: Maybe you want to do your boy's night at an inconvient time for her and you don't realize it? I'm not sure if that's the case, but with these things I'm sure you'd avoid arguments by sitting down and planning dates to do the girl's/boy's nights out. So everybody knows what's going on. :)

I always try to plan as far ahead as possible so that I can find a time that is convenient for her, usually about two or three weeks. She likes to play this game of saying "do whatever you want" in a tone that states that it isn't okay for me to do whatever I want. I try to work it out and get an answer one way or another, but she drags and drags and never gives a final "okay" until it is too late anyway - i.e. the 'talk it out and explain my viewpoint' has not produced any change in behavior. Needless to say, I hardly ever get invited to any get-togethers anymore.

Anyway, a couple other girls I dated in the past had the same tendencies, so I've always wondered whether all/most girls were like that, or whether i tend to attract that type of girl (i'm the quiet/shy/nice type), or if I was just plain old unlucky in that way, lol. Hence, my question here.

[tweek.3867]

Have your guys nights when she has her girls nights if possible, ne? No issues, then.

Either that or maybe she is just afraid you will trash the house or something :x

[Stephy]

>_>;

What do you get a guy who lives across seas for Valentines Day? XD

[Trayal]

Have your guys nights when she has her girls nights if possible, ne? No issues, then.
That would work better if she gave me more than five minutes' notice. ;)

Anyway, I'm getting the feeling from the responses I've gotten so far that this isn't the norm. Thanks, everybody, for all your input!

[Trayal]

>_>;

What do you get a guy who lives across seas for Valentines Day? XD



You could always send him some small thing or memento that has meaning in your relationship - nothing fancy or expensive, just something that shows you put a lot of thought into it; that personal touch always gives me the best warm fuzzies. But, I'd say the best thing you could give him, from my point of view, is your time. Make a point to call or chat, or however you two communicate. The whole point is to let him know you are thinking about him and miss him.

[Smallredbox]

guy across the street question:


give him something that makes you look mysterious. (not creepy)

A well thoughtout gift from a girl can be very seductive.

Unless, of course, you arent interested in him?

[jindojim]

>_>;

What do you get a guy who lives across seas for Valentines Day? XD

You're gettin me something?? I'm so touched :joytear:

I want a Taco Bell taco kit.

[4letterwords]

Dick in a box.

[Ceirnian]

Okay girls, I'm a lurker here, but i finally have a chance to ask this question and get a hopefully non biased answer:

Why is it okay for her to have a girls night (which involves getting together with friends and having a night out on the town every other week or so), but it isn't okay for me to have a guy's night out (which involves staying indoors and playing videogames or watching movies once every six months) without a huge discussion (argument) first?

My wife does this and it drives me insane. Is this normal, or is she a jealous control freak?

Have you tried just saying "OK" and doing what you want with your guys night out instead of discussing it? If she really has a problem with it, then say you'll go out with your friends and do something (same as her). If she objects to you not even being in the house, then that's pretty strong confirmation that something is up.

That's my best guess on a solution. Could just be that she wants you to do less 'nerdy' things if she has a dislike for games.

[PopCulturePooka]

>_>;

What do you get a guy who lives across seas for Valentines Day? XD
SaaBJ !

[Roxie]

>_>;

What do you get a guy who lives across seas for Valentines Day? XD

I'm a fan of the mixcd.
If you can make your own label to go with it, put it on the cd with some glue stick and then put a few drops of your fav perfume on it.

That way, when it's played in the warmth of the cd player, it'll renew the scent every time and he'll think of you.

[Roxie]

Dick in a box.

1. cut a hole in the box.

[Roxie]

No. at least, I hope she doesn't think there is something else going on. :boggled: I trust her enough to do her own thing, i would like to think I am getting the same trust in return.
Ok, so you've done nothing to break her trust. Check.



I always try to plan as far ahead as possible so that I can find a time that is convenient for her, usually about two or three weeks. She likes to play this game of saying "do whatever you want" in a tone that states that it isn't okay for me to do whatever I want. I try to work it out and get an answer one way or another, but she drags and drags and never gives a final "okay" until it is too late anyway - i.e. the 'talk it out and explain my viewpoint' has not produced any change in behavior. Needless to say, I hardly ever get invited to any get-togethers anymore.
What exactly is her opinion of these B.N.O? Like what exactly does she think is happening, might happen? Does she tell you so? If not, you need to know! A serious discussion, disspassionate as possible, needs to happen yesterday.

Cause that "do whatever you want (i'm only saying that, but if you go I'll be angry!) some highschool b.s. You said wife, so I'm assuming you're over 18. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Anyway, a couple other girls I dated in the past had the same tendencies, so I've always wondered whether all/most girls were like that, or whether i tend to attract that type of girl.You hit the nail on the head. You're attracting and attracted to this type of girl--if this is the kind of girl you've been dating in the past. Think about how those realtionships ended and why. Is there a pattern there?

(i'm the quiet/shy/nice type)
That's nice, but that doesn't mean you get walked on. I mean, don't let it happen to you. You can be all those things, but you are also an independent adult.

[4letterwords]

2. Put your junk in the box

[Jetsetlemming]

Oh lord... I did a fair share of mixtapes for girlfriends in middle school. :( They were never appreciated.
IMHO, for a good valentine's day gift, I have two words:
Nude self-portrait! \o/

[PopCulturePooka]

I like Jets thinking!

[delen]

2. Put your junk in the box

3. Make her open the box.

[Campion]

IMHO, for a good valentine's day gift, I have two words:
Nude self-portrait! \o/

I can't do that unfortunately. Under the Geneva convention CCW protocol IV (preventing use of indiscriminate blinding weapons) My naked body is listed as a war crime. :(



Campion.

[Jetsetlemming]

Then embelish. :) Who's to know! >_>
Besides anyone that sees you naked in person!

[ellie]

IMPORTANT QUESTION

My boyfriend's 33 birthday is next week! I don't know what to get him. He recently bought himself an Xbox 360, so I was thinking I would get him something to go with that.

Are there any items that go with an Xbox 360? I know I have random stuff with my PS2, like a remote controller and memory cards and carrying cases. Is there stuff like that with the Xbox, and what is something he would like?

He has these games:

Gears of War

Call of Duty 2

Tom Clancy's "Rainbow 6 Vegas"

Based on those games, what OTHER games would you boys suggest?

And apart from video game stuff, if there is anything else brilliant gift-wise that you can think of, please let me know.

[Jetsetlemming]

Call of Duty 3 just came out. >_>
For accessories, the 360 has hard drives and new controllers and memory cards (to carry your saves between systems, to like your friend's or something)..
Oh, they have custom cases you can get for them. Plastic designs that snap on the outside of the 360 to jazz them up a bit. That could be a creative gift.

[Lan]

Ger her half a dozen roses, clean the house/apartment/car and then go down on her with no expectation of return. That's a valentines day gift.

She doesn't like flowers...says they're a waste of money
I'm a 6 hour plane ride from her.
She doesn't like the going-down thing.

But thanks xD

Steph: write a nice long card and draw pictures..and have a little printed picture of you or somethign :watson: As far as sending things in the mail, personally, I prefer these kinds of things.

Ellie: do you mind watching him play games? Do you mind playing with him? You could organize an evening for him for his friends and set up snacks and stuff..or a dinner...like...purchased..unless you wnat to cook that much. And then sit by him and watch him play, or play a few games yourself =)

Then maybe, the day after, set up a more fancy dinner for just the two of you. Whether you wnat to go out or not. Etc.

[PopCulturePooka]

IMPORTANT QUESTION

My boyfriend's 33 birthday is next week! I don't know what to get him. He recently bought himself an Xbox 360, so I was thinking I would get him something to go with that.

Are there any items that go with an Xbox 360? I know I have random stuff with my PS2, like a remote controller and memory cards and carrying cases. Is there stuff like that with the Xbox, and what is something he would like?

He has these games:

Gears of War

Call of Duty 2

Tom Clancy's "Rainbow 6 Vegas"

Based on those games, what OTHER games would you boys suggest?

And apart from video game stuff, if there is anything else brilliant gift-wise that you can think of, please let me know.
Lost Planet.

[Plekto]

Gotta go with a X-Box game and then sex later on.

[Trayal]

Have you tried just saying "OK" and doing what you want with your guys night out instead of discussing it? If she really has a problem with it, then say you'll go out with your friends and do something (same as her). If she objects to you not even being in the house, then that's pretty strong confirmation that something is up.

That's my best guess on a solution. Could just be that she wants you to do less 'nerdy' things if she has a dislike for games.

Yup, tried that once - didn't turn out well, lol.

As for the things I do being too nerdy... well, she knew i was an ubernerd when we first met, and doesn't seem to mind me doing nerdy things at home as long as i don't waste too much time in the process and get the important stuff done first (I am strongly ADD, so major props to her for being able to deal with my absentmindedness).

What exactly is her opinion of these B.N.O? Like what exactly does she think is happening, might happen? Does she tell you so? If not, you need to know! A serious discussion, disspassionate as possible, needs to happen yesterday.

The problem really doesn't seem to be what I am doing since she never brings that up in the discussions that we do have, but perhaps that is a factor that i dismissed too quickly. I'll have to approach discussion from that angle and see if that bears any fruit... though, really, I just hang out with my best friend - who is also married. I don't see what problems she could have with that.

Cause that "do whatever you want (i'm only saying that, but if you go I'll be angry!) some highschool b.s. You said wife, so I'm assuming you're over 18. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm 29 actually, and she is 27. We've been married two years.

You hit the nail on the head. You're attracting and attracted to this type of girl--if this is the kind of girl you've been dating in the past. Think about how those realtionships ended and why. Is there a pattern there?

This bears more thinking about. I tend to be attracted to confident assertive girls since it is a quality that I don't have much of - though it also bears mentioning that I am very independently minded and hate being controlled. I'm no push-over.

That's nice, but that doesn't mean you get walked on. I mean, don't let it happen to you. You can be all those things, but you are also an independent adult.
See above. ;) If I feel like I am being pushed at all, I am stubborn to a fault - another one of my own character flaws i guess. I have to be allowed to decide to do something on my own. Allow me that freedom and I'll generally compromise more than my fair share, but pushing I can't handle even if it is for my own good.

My best guess at what it all boils down to is that she doesn't like the fact that I may want to spend some time with somebody other than her, even if it is no threat to our relationship because that somebody is my (male) best friend of 20+ years. Or am I way out in left field, here? I haven't been able to work out anything better.

And, don't get me wrong - she usually is the sweetest most affectionate wife a guy could want. And she really does try to listen to my concerns - and has improved dramatically when it comes to keeping me informed when she decides to make her own plans. She is also willing to sit down and discuss the issue and agree to let me spend some time with friends... but as soon as I actually want to make those plans, she just can't let it go.

[Campion]

IMPORTANT QUESTION

My boyfriend's 33 birthday is next week! I don't know what to get him. He recently bought himself an Xbox 360, so I was thinking I would get him something to go with that.

And apart from video game stuff, if there is anything else brilliant gift-wise that you can think of, please let me know.

Ellie, I'd suggest getting a few advertising brochures from Computer Games outlets and talking to him about it, tell him you were thinking of getting something for his 360 for his Big 33 and then spend a bit of time going through the pamphlets with him, he'll be able to help (which always makes us guys feel good) and you'll get a present you know he wants.

Seriously, by the time you get to 33 the surprise aspect of birthdays has kind of worn off, but if he's young at heart and you still want to surprise him the games the other chaps have suggested so far seem to tally with the games he's already got, so I don't think you can go wrong with those suggestions!

When's his B'day? (I leave 33 next week, so I'm strangely curious)


Campion.

[tweek.3867]

snip

If you are looking to surprise him, games along those lines that are good bets are Ghost Recon [also a Tom Clancy game]... and see if he has Halo 1 / Halo 2 [from the original XBox - they play on the X360 as well]. All three games I have and my friends and I can spend hours playing any of them. Halo 1 is easily the best of the three.. and it's only $10 now, too XD

[edit]PopCulturePooka: Do you have Lost Planet / is it that good? I've been seeing a lot about it and it seems cool, but I'm kind of picky about buying games that cost $50+ when I'm not sure what they are really like :x

[japanat]

And, don't get me wrong - she usually is the sweetest most affectionate wife a guy could want. And she really does try to listen to my concerns - and has improved dramatically when it comes to keeping me informed when she decides to make her own plans. She is also willing to sit down and discuss the issue and agree to let me spend some time with friends... but as soon as I actually want to make those plans, she just can't let it go.Sorry, but it just sounds like a control issue. If it bothers you, bring it up. When you guys make a decision, make sure you abide by it. ie: she said it's OK, so don't back down. It could actually worsen things with her (subconsciously at least) it you let her win.

[Hatsumomo]

Though I am a female, I still don't get this: Why do women get so damn uptight about a man watching football? It's at most a 4-hour game, one or two days a week, 13 weeks out of the whole damn year. What's the problem?

Maybe I don't get this because I'll be watching football too, usually, but still. It's ridiculous. I've seen women throw massive shitfits over their man watching football.

[ellie]

A few different guys have told me about this Lost Planet game, so that sounds like a winner. I am going to go to EB Games tomorrow to purchase. And Campion, his birthday is January 26. What an old man--he is 12 years older than me!

I don't mind watching football with my man. I think a lot of girls don't like it just because they don't understand it. I didn't really understand it at all until recently, but I'm starting to understand the general idea more and more now!

[4letterwords]

She doesn't like flowers...says they're a waste of money
I'm a 6 hour plane ride from her.
She doesn't like the going-down thing.

Break up with her.

[Campion]

And Campion, his birthday is January 26. What an old man--he is 12 years older than me!


SNAP! Same birthday..

..and age doesn't matter if you love each other Ellie, you are both adults and at 33 he's not exactly geriatric, is he?

That was a rhetorical question btw.


Campion.

[Druid]

lol, This reminds me of my old topic....