Antisocial!

[ZaichikArky]

Usually, the stereotype of people who have an online "social life" is that they're anti social nerds in real life. How many of you are anti social?

I'm pretty anti social. It has gotten much worse since I graduated HS.

I have one or two friends in college per year. This year, it's this 28 year old japanese graduate student. Other than him, I don't hang out with anyone from college.

I like plenty of time by myself because being around people for extended periods tends to wear me down. I have a strange personality. I'm very outgoing and when with a group of females, I'm highly amusing. Males never get my humor, so whenever I'm with them, I don't joke around, usually I just play video games with them or watch anime. I do this rarely now. I just really don't like spending extended time with anyone except my bf.

I think I know about 2 people who are more anti social than me. One is one of my best friends from when I was 12, another is this internet friend. She is very special though, to say the least.

It's not always fun being anti social, but I prefer it. I am lonely sometimes, but in those instances, I go entertain myself with my games or internet people. Having few friends means few obligations and having friends in college would honestly wear me down too much.

I just hope I don't get any worse. I'm pretty anti social right now :p. Right now, I'm generally okay with my anti socialness.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I spend 5-6 nights a week socializing in an establishment which serves liquor (I'm not too picky), and have had two dinner parties in the last week.

I hate people. I am more anti-social than you.

[Stephy]

I... am shy. But pretty social with friends offline and online. Only friends though. Not very social with other people. Extremely shy.

I think I told soli she might have a social anxiety.

[sgt. pepper]

I have five friends that i hang around with regularily, we get toghether once a week to play either pen and paper RPG's or boardgames (geeky, i know) and i go to the gym and muay thai with one of those guys two times for the gym and three times for Muay thai. Other than that, i'm the most anti-social person there is. I never speak in school unless spoken to (i'm not shy around guys, i'm just not interested in talking to or getting to know anyone i meet). This goes even further with girls since shyness comes in to play then. That is the only thing about my slightly anti-social behaviour (and life) that i'm not happy with, it makes it nigh impossible for me to get toghether with a girl, which makes me a lonely guy in that aspect of life.

[4letterwords]

I'm probably the biggest social butterfly you'll ever meet. I'm never really shy when I meet people and I love to party. I have a lot of 'friends' but actually only a few best friends and my fiance. I don't need anymore new best friends so people who try to hang out with me all the time to get 'in there' really annoy me a lot. My best friend and I were pretty popular in high school except for a pretty sizable group of girls because my best friend slept with 2 of their boyfriends... um... at the same time.

I can't imagine ever being anti social... but like being antisocial, I believe being overly social (like me) is also a problem... if I don't see people I know almost everywhere I go I freak. I always feel like I have to have a friend to hang out with... I never wanna do shit alone. See? Being anti-social is not necessarily bad...

[ZaichikArky]

I have five friends that i hang around with regularily, we get toghether once a week to play either pen and paper RPG's or boardgames (geeky, i know) and i go to the gym and muay thai with one of those guys two times for the gym and three times for Muay thai. Other than that, i'm the most anti-social person there is. I never speak in school unless spoken to (i'm not shy around guys, i'm just not interested in talking to or getting to know anyone i meet). This goes even further with girls since shyness comes in to play then. That is the only thing about my slightly anti-social behaviour (and life) that i'm not happy with, it makes it nigh impossible for me to get toghether with a girl, which makes me a lonely guy in that aspect of life.

: (. It's much easier for me to find guys, or for guys to find me because I'm a big nerd who likes video games too much for her own good. I've always been a nerd. Guys tend to like that and then start hitting on me ^_^*. Funny thing was my bf never hit on me, and that was one reason I went after him.

I also am very outgoing in class a lot of the time. if it's a class I like, I'm actively engaged in asking questions. I'm a very auditory learner, so listening and talking about subjects helps me. I don't consider talking in class as something social. This just makes the majority of your classmates not like you.

The only thing I don't like doing alone is going to movies. I love going to movies, so this sometimes presents an issue. hee. Otherwise, I do everything by myself all the time I'm not visiting home. go me :p.

[Jetsetlemming]

I'm only shy around girls I really like. I'm don't tend to be social, though. :( I'm naturally quiet. I tend to drift off into my own mind.

[sgt. pepper]

: (. It's much easier for me to find guys, or for guys to find me because I'm a big nerd who likes video games too much for her own good. I've always been a nerd. Guys tend to like that and then start hitting on me ^_^*. Funny thing was my bf never hit on me, and that was one reason I went after him.

I also am very outgoing in class a lot of the time. if it's a class I like, I'm actively engaged in asking questions. I'm a very auditory learner, so listening and talking about subjects helps me. I don't consider talking in class as something social. This just makes the majority of your classmates not like you.

The only thing I don't like doing alone is going to movies. I love going to movies, so this sometimes presents an issue. hee. Otherwise, I do everything by myself all the time I'm not visiting home. go me :p.

Well, the same reason you find guys is almost the same reason I don't get girls. I'm somewhat of a nerd (I wouldn't really call myself a nerd, but judging from my activities and actions, I probably am), if i'm initiating conversation it's probably about pen and paper RPG's, boardgames, computergames or gym-stuff... none of those topics seems to be popular with the ladies.

Jetsetlemming: I'm fidgety and nervous around all girls, even those i don't find attractive. I've never really 'liked' a girl though, so I fear how I will act when I do...

[Soli]

I... am shy. But pretty social with friends offline and online. Only friends though. Not very social with other people. Extremely shy.

I think I told soli she might have a social anxiety.

Yep, we talked about it once on msn. About how it can be scarier talking to a person one-on-one rather then in front of the class or something.

I have never been able to keep a friend for more then one school year. And I haven't had a friend over to my house (not counting my neighbor who is more my brother's friend then mine) since I was in 2nd grade at least. :P I don't think I could handle it, I'd get too nervous.

I'm super shy too. And very quiet most of the time.

[Myrsilus]

People think I'm anti-social because of the way I act and my usual unchanging expression. It's sort of cool, but it can become very tiresome to deal with prying people.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why so glum, chum?"
"Smile a little!"
"Be a little enthusiastic!"

Why, just today I was told I was an excellent worker at my job. I move from one place to the other, "not talking to people or giggling". Not bad. I'm not so silent around guys anymore, but I'm still very quiet around girls. It does not really matter if I think they are attractive or not.

I'm not anti-social. I'm scary, though.

[Shamu]

I'm usually very social.
I like people and I like to talk. I dunno why, but people fascinate me.
Sometimes it takes me a bit to warm up to certain people or situations, but for the most part, I tend to make friends wherever I go. However, unlike 4LW, I don't feel like I have to have friends everywhere.
*shrugs* eh.

[悲しいパンダ]

I'm a shy person but sometimes I try to at least make converstion with people. But its really hard to talk to people when they won't bother with you because they have their friends around them. I'm not very good talking to girls either because they tend to stick togethor or think their to good to talk to me. When I do in-class projects, I feel that the girls in my group force themselves to talk to me inorder to finish the project. *sigh* Maybe I should have followed Az's "be an asshole to get the ladies" editorial.

I hardly ever go out and if I do its mostly with family members. I feel like I'll turn into a NEET once I graduate highschool this year (well, thats if I do).

[Hatsumomo]

I'm a hermit. I'm pretty happy in my solitude, as long as I have a stack of good books beside me.

[Josh]

I am rather social, but not to the point where I need somebody to hang out with all the time though.

I can talk to almost anybody, breaking the ice is hardly ever a problem with new people which allows me to have many friends with a wide range of personalities and interests.

[japanat]

I'm very social, but not dependent. I don't, however, walk into a party and try to take over. I'm social, but not attention-needy.

I prefer to talk to people in a real conversation, not the shallow crap you get in the bars. This preference has gotten much stronger after 16yrs of 'Where are you from?', 'Do you like Japan?', 'How do you like Japanese women?' everywhere I go...

But I refuse to hang with jerks or morons.

[Kfisher]

I'm somewhat sociable in real life. I used to be mostly indoors, but I'm gradually becoming more and more outgoing and interacting with more people. I don't have problems interacting with most people.

[Lateli]

I don't make a habit of socializing. I talk to the people in my classes, the people at the food joints in the union, and the people at events/clubs I'm in/attend. I don't go out of my way to hang out with anyone. I guess I have a time schedule for everyone. Hah :P

Also, I don't approach people in social situations, nor do people really approach me. People tend to contact me in the strangest ways afterwards, such as, looking at my Zip Card and memorizing my name then looking me up on facebook later. ... It's almost creepy. :P (I'm clearly not cool enough to be talked to in public, or I'm threatening, I don't know! People are weirdos.)

[aargon]

I`m not anti- social.

I just dont like people.
________
Yamaha WR450 (http://www.cyclechaos.com/wiki/Yamaha_WR450)

[PopCulturePooka]

Why am I not surprised by some of the responses in this thread?

I can not imagine being anti-social at all, being social has WAY too many advantages to not be.

[jihei18]

My anti-socialness (is that a word?) comes from several sources, making me a super loner.
First, my mother raised us to be extremely independent (probably as there are precious few members of my extended family that you can depend on for anything), so while I love my siblings, we go crazy if we spend too much time together. It's worse for people I haven't been brainwashed into loving.
I am also painfully shy. I rarely approach people, and am skilled at blending into the background. My shyness once made my math teacher think I was depressed and had no friends.
I hate talking, and avoid it as much as possible. I can have a fulfilling conversation using gestures, monosyllables and facial expressions. I can go weeks without speaking anyone.
On the plus side, I'll probably make a good hermit!

[japanat]

My anti-socialness (is that a word?) comes from several sources, making me a super loner.
First, my mother raised us to be extremely independent (probably as there are precious few members of my extended family that you can depend on for anything), so while I love my siblings, we go crazy if we spend too much time together. It's worse for people I haven't been brainwashed into loving.
I am also painfully shy. I rarely approach people, and am skilled at blending into the background. My shyness once made my math teacher think I was depressed and had no friends.
I hate talking, and avoid it as much as possible. I can have a fulfilling conversation using gestures, monosyllables and facial expressions. I can go weeks without speaking anyone.
On the plus side, I'll probably make a good hermit!
Independent is not bad, just don't forget to share your life. You're too beautiful to crawl under a rock...

[akitaka]

Yeah, well, I can dance. Or at least pretend to.

:pops and locks:

[Firefly]

I'm in the middle. I like alone time, and I like social time. A good mixture of both makes things good...sometimes I want to stay at home and be bored, other times, I want to go out and party with my friends. I like people, I like learning about them and who they are...but sometimes I like to just stay at home and learn about myself. Cheesy, no? :D

[Nannou]

I'm in the middle. I like alone time, and I like social time. A good mixture of both makes things good...sometimes I want to stay at home and be bored, other times, I want to go out and party with my friends. I like people, I like learning about them and who they are...but sometimes I like to just stay at home and learn about myself. Cheesy, no? :D

Took the words right out of my head.

I love to socialise. Love to make new friends, throw parties, meet and do whatever. I go out pretty much every weekend, and am not a stranger to be seen coming home from Karaoke early on a Thursday morning (only to have to go to work about an hour later).

But I also have instances where I kill for "alone" time, away from the constant chatter of friends etc. For me I need a balance.

Back in my home country I probably wasn't as social, but that was partly to do with my group of friends and their similar attitudes.

If we are talking percentages, I'd say at the moment i'm about 75% social, 25% anti-social. Probably over-stepping my social-ness a bit. I'm sure it'll give way to a week or so where I won't want to go out at all. Meh.

[Mastiker]

I'm super social. Hell, my social interactions on the internet do nothing but reflect on my social interactions offline.

I can't really add too much here without sounding obnoxious and silly, so I won't D: I'm just super social, so take my word for it :innocent:

[Jay]

I'm an antisocial nerd and proud of it. :)

[Jay]

I'm in the middle. I like alone time, and I like social time. A good mixture of both makes things good...sometimes I want to stay at home and be bored, other times, I want to go out and party with my friends. I like people, I like learning about them and who they are...but sometimes I like to just stay at home and learn about myself. Cheesy, no? :D

Hey... can I watch you learn about yourself? :gwitch:

[harper]

I'd say I can be fairly social when I want to be. I've got a few friends that I hang out with regularly - movies, pool, golf, whatever. I will go out to the bar occasionally with a group of coworkers to just talk and have dinner, but I don't really enjoy going to bars or clubsthat often. I'm around people all the time at work and have never had a problem speaking up in class or in groups.

I do like having plenty of alone time, though. Over vacation, I spent a lot of time just reading or working around the house by myself. It can be pretty relaxing being away from everyone for a while.

[sgt. pepper]

Hey... can I watch you learn about yourself? :gwitch:

Yeah, i got those vibes too. :whoops:

[Kwiz]

People think I'm anti-social because of the way I act and my usual unchanging expression. It's sort of cool, but it can become very tiresome to deal with prying people.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why so glum, chum?"
"Smile a little!"
"Be a little enthusiastic!"

I get this a lot as well, although it's usually just hinted at and mentioned once a month at most. Bugs the hell out of me to think I'm just an unemotional droid to everyone I know.

Online and offline there's one thing I do constantly: lurking. I'm always quiet, rarely interjecting (even sometimes when it's really necessary as I have something to contribure), and my ears and mind are tuned in to other conversations. Presently it's at a point where I feel like I know a multitude of people at some depth online and a handful of friends very well offline, but hardly any of them know me.

[setrict]

I hate talking, and avoid it as much as possible. I can have a fulfilling conversation using gestures, monosyllables and facial expressions. I can go weeks without speaking anyone.

This is exactly how I am. I enjoy being with friends, and don't mind socializing to an extent... but I hate talking. I've always had trouble with language, and I find it difficult to translate my thoughts into words. By the time I'm prepared to express myself, the pace of conversatation has kicked in and left without me.

Do a quick search and some reading on 'visual thinking' and see if it matches you. The more I read, the more I kept thinking "holy cow, that's exactly me", right down to the difficulty I have in determining right from left.

[Jon885]

i am very much so in real life. mostly because of guilt from the past, and fear of embarassment. i'm usually lost in my own thoughts. i used to be social, and had friends, but i lost touch with most of them.

[ZaichikArky]

Yeah, the funny thing is that I don't consider myself shy. I'm only "shy" when I want to be making a good impression on someone, and about 80% of the time, I don't care WHAT impression I'm making on anyone. I'm super friendly IRL, actually. I never approach people, though... they always approach ME >_>, and I don't appreciate most of this accosting.

Jihei, I too was raised to be very independant, and I think this is where a lot of my anti social nature comes in. But in school, I have never been shy. Quite the contrary... I've been very "ADHD" before college, and I'm still ADHD, but I like talking in class and talking to strangers, but I don't bother to create friendships. I'm very very bad at making friends, which is another reason I'm anti social :p.

Kwizard, I too feel like I know a lot of things about a lot of people. I'm very perceptive and I tend to absord friends' personalities and I remember a lot. As for who knows ME, I'd say my boyfriend and one or maybe 2 of my best friends. I'm too complicated to understand, I think XD.

[ellie]

I'm not exactly anti-social, but I do have mild social anxiety that appears in certain situations. I have tons of friends, but MAKING friends is hard... but once you're my friend, you're my friend for life, basically. I'm painfully shy, so it's hard for me to approach new people, which is why making new friends can be kind of rough. It's easier for me to make new friends with people who are friends of friends. Therefore, I hang out with my friends a lot because I know that if I am with them, I can be social. I can't be social alone...does that even make sense? Like, there is no way in hell I am going to a bar by myself, I would be a scared mute all night long, but if I go with friends its much easier to loosen up and talk to people.

I feel kind of stupid a lot of the time. Like when I'm sitting in class and a classmate starts talking to me, I always feel like I am inferior and shouldn't really be there, and that feeling makes me nervous and upset so it's hard to talk.

I am really shy until I get to know you, then I talk a freakin lot. I hate getting new jobs because the first 6 weeks or so, I'm too scared of everyone so I can't really talk to anyone and it takes a long time until I am comfortable enough to talk and joke with people very much. I just don't want to make a bad impression on people, so I stay pretty quiet.

[dzee]

i, uh, am not anti-social, but i'm almost always lost in my own thoughts. times when i'm not drifting off into a land with dragons and gnomes, i'm sociable, and have no problem talking to strangers.

(for some reason or other, though, i've never had to initiate conversation most of the time. people usually talk to me first - it's almost always been that way.)

like linz i do enjoy time alone, though - i prefer to shop alone, stay at home on a holiday. i don't understand social anxiety / anti-social behaviour, but i have a friend who has that, and it seems really painful for her at times, so when i'm in a group, i try to take care of these folks first (even though they may hate talking to me :rofl: ). it takes some time for them to warm, but it's worth the effort, i think.

i'm shy when i'm around someone i really .. like, though. :innocent: hehe.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I have sex with gorgeous international models on a regular basis. I sweep them off my feet with my forward flirtation and invitations, not to mention my immeasureable natural charm.

But I really hate people. I'm more anti-social than you.

[PopCulturePooka]

I can't believe some people are trying to one up each other on how anti social they are.

[O-Matic]

I have a great loner shell. It prevents me from becoming social whenever I get outside. It's called "headphones". While wearing them people won't talk to you, and if they do you can ignore them without beeing rude.
I also got these two loner Manuals: "Blue Sky: Why look at the people?" and "Shadows: Your new best friends."

I don't hate people, I actually love them all but I really can't open myself up to them. They hurt, especially in groups.

I'm antisocial offline. Maybe just because I do not have much in common with the people outside. However, I can be pretty social online. See, the text I'm writing right now, it takes say 10 minutes of writing and thinking on this forum. But in front of people, to say such stuff takes me about 10 beers! And since I do not drink drugs, this is my only way of beeing social without becoming social. :/

[Ceirnian]

I have sex with gorgeous international models on a regular basis. I sweep them off my feet with my forward flirtation and invitations, not to mention my immeasureable natural charm.

But I really hate people. I'm more anti-social than you.

I guess I shouldn't ever meet you then. You might try to sweep me off my feet :(

[MeneerDijk]

Not sure if i am really. I can really enjoy being alone, but i also need some human contact every now and then. After a week of school i like being alone for the weekend, but then on monday i enjoy going back to school to see my classmates.

[akitaka]

i try to take care of these folks first (even though they may hate talking to me :rofl: ). it takes some time for them to warm, but it's worth the effort, i think.
Same here, but I do it with spontaniouty in place of talking a lot. Dancing/singing/getting in the mood of things can be pretty tough for the shy ones to get used to, so when there's someone with them to share the embarrasment, they're more willing to open up.

@O-Matic: My headphones are better than your headphones :dj:

[Pierrot le Fou]

I guess I shouldn't ever meet you then. You might try to sweep me off my feet :(
Excellent point. Though replace 'might try to' with 'would succeed in' and conjugate the verb properly, and whatnot.

That is if you're of the caliber of international models I'm used to.

And, of course, assuming that I would ever agree to meet you. Because I hate people. Especially when they're burying me with praise after one of my internationally-known motivation seminars.

Because I'm more anti-social than you. I hate people.

[The Divine Comedy]

I'm more anti-social than social, but I do really enjoy talking to friends and other interesting people. Some people get a bit shocked when they get to know me. I seem like a quiet, well-mannered "smart girl" to most... but then I become friends with someone and start scaring them a tiny bit with the way my mind works. It's always amusing to get suprised looks when I even swear the smallest bit.

I also do the whole lurking thing Kwizard was talking about. I'm afraid that I might scare people by butting into conversations at times. But at least they're polite enough not to tell me. :P

[Ohito]

People think I'm anti-social because of the way I act and my usual unchanging expression. It's sort of cool, but it can become very tiresome to deal with prying people.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why so glum, chum?"
"Smile a little!"
"Be a little enthusiastic!"

Why, just today I was told I was an excellent worker at my job. I move from one place to the other, "not talking to people or giggling". Not bad. I'm not so silent around guys anymore, but I'm still very quiet around girls. It does not really matter if I think they are attractive or not.

I'm not anti-social. I'm scary, though.

People from my school always thought that I hated them because I always had a neutral expression on my face. They would always ask me why I never smiled too, which ironically, made me hate them a bit.

When I was younger I was extremely social, but then I moved around and grew tired of it. It's extremely difficult for me to keep a conversation alive with people that I don't know well enough.

I find it funny too that whenever I talk to my classmates, they think I never cuss just because it never comes up in our conversations.

Me: "Oh, fucking shit!"
Them: "OMG! You cussed! *starts laughing*"

[Myrsilus]

People had the same reaction when I cussed at my high school. I solved that problem with a nice double-dose of cussing.

I always tell repeating offenders that if they keep telling me to cheer up, it will just end up pissing me off. Some people should really get the fucking fact that my face is like this because it's like this, especially after I've explained this many times over. And those that tell me they are getting nervous from the way I look get the same treatment. Ninnies.

I'm sorry for my language, but this is serious shit.

[tweek.3867]

I'd say I can be fairly social when I want to be. I've got a few friends that I hang out with regularly - movies, pool, golf, whatever. I will go out to the bar occasionally with a group of coworkers to just talk and have dinner, but I don't really enjoy going to bars or clubsthat often. I'm around people all the time at work and have never had a problem speaking up in class or in groups.

I do like having plenty of alone time, though. Over vacation, I spent a lot of time just reading or working around the house by myself. It can be pretty relaxing being away from everyone for a while.
This sounds a lot like me. I have 5 friends that I do stuff with now and then, but at the same time I have a lot of alone time as well. I don't shun being social and I love going out and just having a good time, but I like being able to just relax at home in my room and not have to worry about anything or anyone. I don't turn down people who invite me to do stuff, but I rarely initiate stuff myself. I get asked to do things often enough to keep me happy, and the rest of the time is just me doing whatever strikes me: reading, video games, tv, etc.

[Trump]

I cannot understand how someone could want to avoid people all of the time. People are what keep the world interesting! Everything I could do alone (books, TV, movies, games, etc) all get repetative after a while so I love getting out and being with people. I suppose I am confident enough that I don't care who I talk to or what I say and that helps.

[akitaka]

It's pretty much a fear of rejection/dissapointment. If not then, some are just more apathetic to going out than others; take me for example. If my buddies tell me to go to wing night on Tuesdays, 7-10 times I say "I'm tired". Sometimes you just don't care (or care more about doing something off on your own).

(hugs Fujin)

[jindojim]

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental and behavioral disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder as a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

1) failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
2) deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
3) impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
4) irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated fights or assaults (both physically or mentally)
5) reckless disregard for safety of self or others
6) consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain steady work or honor financial obligations
7) lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

Doesn't sound like you? Maybe the word you're searching for is "asocial".

[akitaka]

Numbers 3 and maybe 7 apply. But actually, there are plenty of social people who exhibit the same characteristics of numbers 2 to 7. I guess it all depends on the severity of their issues.

And yes...asocial. I like that word. It fits me like an adidas track suit.

[Fred]

I enjoy connecting with people. I like to play games with people (board games, card games, cribbage, puzzles) and I love talking about stuff. I enjoy hearing people’s ideas, which is what I like about this forum. I also like being alone. In fact, solitude is something I need in order to maintain my equanimity.

I have auditory dyslexia, which means I have trouble processing auditory information. When I go to parties, I have to focus very hard to understand what people are saying and this is not relaxing. So, I tend to avoid parties or environments where there is a lot of commotion or loud noises. I think this tends to make me appear introverted, but that is not how I would describe my internal experience.

When I lived in Japan, I used to like to go drinking in the local Yakitori bar or go out for Karaoke with co-workers and friends. I am not interested in doing those things anymore. I have way too many other things I enjoy doing (martial arts, volunteer work, exercise, home-ownership). When I do have free time, I generally prefer to spend it with my wife.