Overkongen
12-26-2006, 03:56 PM
As those of you who follow the few threads I've posted, I whine constantly. Consider yourself warned.
Last year, I made a horrible mistake. I invited my girlfriend to spent christmas with my family. We all enjoyed it, but alas, it meant that we had to spend christmas with her family this year.
Apart from christmas night itself, where her whole family was gathered, we've been me, her(Ina), Ina's sister(Naja), Ina's niece(Liva), about 3 years old, Ina's parents, and an 84-year-old female version of grandpa Simpson (pointless stories etc.).
There's been a shift in the amount of attention her parents are giving her. Before she met me, Liva got 60% of the attention, Naja 30%, and Ina 10%. Now, Ina gets 8%, and I get 2%. Examples of this include her mother walking away to do something else while me or Ina are mid-sentence in telling her something, or the fact that after three whole days at their place, they haven't actually gotten around to asking what their own daughter will be doing for the rest of the holidays, where she'll be celebrating New Years Eve, etc..
Then there's the "baby". I don't usually consider a three-year-old a baby, but in this case, I'll make an exception...
At this point, I should probably make it clear that I am studying to be an evil teacher. You know, rules, consequences, that kind of thing. The pupils I've taught so far have given me great reviews so far though, seeing as I'll be your best friend, if you just follow the simple unbreakable rules I hand out every time I start teaching a new class. I like discipline.
I suppose not much more can be expected, but it still annoys me that when I tried telling her that we were going to find a few presents for some of the others, instead of giving her her 6th present, she started screaming (this one screams, instead of crying). But this is absolutely the least of her sins. Later, while playing with a new doll, she doesn't want her mother to participate. She expresses this by throwing a toy plate at her, and thereafter moving in to kick and punch her mother. The mother stops touching the toys, and yet, the same scenario plays out a few minutes later. This time, the mother had the nerve to look at the toys! Naja, the mother, tells her that if she doesn't want her to look at the toys, she can just say so. While I am all for the child learning to not kick and punch other people, I'm not sure it's a fair request that other people aren't allowed to even look at your things.
I got a poker set for christmas. Me and my girlfriend are sitting and playing a bit, and Liva comes over, and wants to play too. As I don't think I'll be able to teach her, I tell her that she can't play, but knowing that she likes to play catch, I offer to chase her around the house a few times INSTEAD. She agrees, and all is well until I've chased her. She then repeats that she wants to play, and again, we tell her that it's a bit too grown-up, but that we'll play something else with her a bit later. Naturally, she falls to the floor, and yells "I'm angry, I'm angry!!!!" over and over again.
Last example. Liva's had an afternoon nap, and starts screaming as usual. I offer to go fetch her for her mother. I go to her room, and she's screaming that she wants her mother to come. I offer to walk her to her mother, I offer to carry her to her mother, or help her with whatever problem she might have. She still just screams. So I carefully move in to lift her up, at which point she kicks and punches me. About fifteen seconds later, her mother shows up, as she heard how she kept screaming, and takes the beating for me. Other fun christmas games include faking the need to visit the toilet, asking people to play with her, and thereafter screaming, kicking, punching and throwing things at them, and asking for help, and thereafter requesting that a specific, preferably busy family member supplies that help, instead of the one who first attended her.
Ah, finally a summing up. With the exception of my evil self and my girlfriend, it seems that everyone is working very hard to teach Liva that there are very few things here in life that one cannot achieve by screaming at people, hitting them, and kicking them. I do not believe that they are doing this on purpose, yet, seeing as they are my girlfriend's family, I am at a loss on how to, or even whether, I should bring this up. I'm definately sure that I shouldn't try to give my sister in law parenting advice, and I'm definately sure that if nothing changes, this kid will evolve into the worst hellion I've ever seen.
Also, what about the parents? Just as it is not my job to tell my sister-in-law that her child racks disciprine, I don't think it's for me to tell my parent's in law that they might want to actually try giving my girlfriend some attention. On the other hand, having her cry during the whole trip home isn't exectly something I can just ignore, and I would so much like to make things better for her.
As I sound as the grumpiest asshole the world has ever seen, I would like to say that despite the impression I have probably left, I am usually considered extremely good with children. I love kids, and am usually quite willing to devote a large amount of my time to them during different family gatherings. It's just this one case that has me stumped, bad.
Last year, I made a horrible mistake. I invited my girlfriend to spent christmas with my family. We all enjoyed it, but alas, it meant that we had to spend christmas with her family this year.
Apart from christmas night itself, where her whole family was gathered, we've been me, her(Ina), Ina's sister(Naja), Ina's niece(Liva), about 3 years old, Ina's parents, and an 84-year-old female version of grandpa Simpson (pointless stories etc.).
There's been a shift in the amount of attention her parents are giving her. Before she met me, Liva got 60% of the attention, Naja 30%, and Ina 10%. Now, Ina gets 8%, and I get 2%. Examples of this include her mother walking away to do something else while me or Ina are mid-sentence in telling her something, or the fact that after three whole days at their place, they haven't actually gotten around to asking what their own daughter will be doing for the rest of the holidays, where she'll be celebrating New Years Eve, etc..
Then there's the "baby". I don't usually consider a three-year-old a baby, but in this case, I'll make an exception...
At this point, I should probably make it clear that I am studying to be an evil teacher. You know, rules, consequences, that kind of thing. The pupils I've taught so far have given me great reviews so far though, seeing as I'll be your best friend, if you just follow the simple unbreakable rules I hand out every time I start teaching a new class. I like discipline.
I suppose not much more can be expected, but it still annoys me that when I tried telling her that we were going to find a few presents for some of the others, instead of giving her her 6th present, she started screaming (this one screams, instead of crying). But this is absolutely the least of her sins. Later, while playing with a new doll, she doesn't want her mother to participate. She expresses this by throwing a toy plate at her, and thereafter moving in to kick and punch her mother. The mother stops touching the toys, and yet, the same scenario plays out a few minutes later. This time, the mother had the nerve to look at the toys! Naja, the mother, tells her that if she doesn't want her to look at the toys, she can just say so. While I am all for the child learning to not kick and punch other people, I'm not sure it's a fair request that other people aren't allowed to even look at your things.
I got a poker set for christmas. Me and my girlfriend are sitting and playing a bit, and Liva comes over, and wants to play too. As I don't think I'll be able to teach her, I tell her that she can't play, but knowing that she likes to play catch, I offer to chase her around the house a few times INSTEAD. She agrees, and all is well until I've chased her. She then repeats that she wants to play, and again, we tell her that it's a bit too grown-up, but that we'll play something else with her a bit later. Naturally, she falls to the floor, and yells "I'm angry, I'm angry!!!!" over and over again.
Last example. Liva's had an afternoon nap, and starts screaming as usual. I offer to go fetch her for her mother. I go to her room, and she's screaming that she wants her mother to come. I offer to walk her to her mother, I offer to carry her to her mother, or help her with whatever problem she might have. She still just screams. So I carefully move in to lift her up, at which point she kicks and punches me. About fifteen seconds later, her mother shows up, as she heard how she kept screaming, and takes the beating for me. Other fun christmas games include faking the need to visit the toilet, asking people to play with her, and thereafter screaming, kicking, punching and throwing things at them, and asking for help, and thereafter requesting that a specific, preferably busy family member supplies that help, instead of the one who first attended her.
Ah, finally a summing up. With the exception of my evil self and my girlfriend, it seems that everyone is working very hard to teach Liva that there are very few things here in life that one cannot achieve by screaming at people, hitting them, and kicking them. I do not believe that they are doing this on purpose, yet, seeing as they are my girlfriend's family, I am at a loss on how to, or even whether, I should bring this up. I'm definately sure that I shouldn't try to give my sister in law parenting advice, and I'm definately sure that if nothing changes, this kid will evolve into the worst hellion I've ever seen.
Also, what about the parents? Just as it is not my job to tell my sister-in-law that her child racks disciprine, I don't think it's for me to tell my parent's in law that they might want to actually try giving my girlfriend some attention. On the other hand, having her cry during the whole trip home isn't exectly something I can just ignore, and I would so much like to make things better for her.
As I sound as the grumpiest asshole the world has ever seen, I would like to say that despite the impression I have probably left, I am usually considered extremely good with children. I love kids, and am usually quite willing to devote a large amount of my time to them during different family gatherings. It's just this one case that has me stumped, bad.