Decade
12-26-2006, 02:15 AM
Taken from my blog:
Lesson # 5
Every now and then I like to make a less ordinary post from all my tragic comedy of a life stuff and do something a little more serious. Sometimes it's for self reflection.
This is one of those times.
I met with an old high school buddy a little while back and we caught up with each other over a couple of beers when a realization hit me:
Me: "Hey, when's our high school reunion supposed to happen?"
Him: "Oh, 5 years after we graduate, so supposedly this year. You going?"
With the question came a few realizations.
1) At these kinds of reunions, there's always that drama shit. You know what I'm talking about. "You were a BITCH to me in high school, look at me now!/You were such an asshole in high school, I still hate you!/Why didn't we get married?/etc."
2) Because of realization #1, there's probably gonna be at least one person you don't wanna see there, and probably vice versa too.
3) Because of realization's 1 and 2, is it really worth it to go?
and finally
4) There's obviously gonna be some grudges. The question is do you still keep any?
4 got me going on a huge life revelation: Why do we hold grudges? Now I can be a pretty angry, merciless guy (my family has told me I know how to crucify a person with words and coldness if they cross me) but the question is why should I keep grudges? When you really think about it, when you hold a grudge against any person or thing you realize that in reality, you're living a very angry and unhappy life while whoever/whatever you're angry at probably isn't. Sure, there's a good chance they might not be as happy as you think and that they might be just as misreable, but why do you let them control your life by not letting yourself be happy?
Speaking honestly, high school was actually not so bad for me even though I wasn't actually popular (middle school was the jungle in my school system). In fact, I found more people to be nice than mean and I really hate it when we still see negative stereotypes in the media about jocks and popular kids. Yes, it's probably true that there's still some asshole jocks or bitch popular kid that makes kids lives a living hell every day of high school, but if you take a moment to realize why they're popular or well-liked, it's because they're well-liked. Sure, they're usually more attractive than the regular pimple faced teenager and that automatically makes them gold in some schools, but I've found that a lot of kids are popular because they get a long with a bunch of people and are actually (gasp!) nice.
Isn't that the way it works in all ages of life? You think the old bitter guy who doesn't even give you a hello when you see him is as well liked as the guy who would greet you?
On the flip side, I had every kind of asshole in high school too; The kid who spread rumors about people (and me) and ruin's kids lives in high school, the bitch who was a bitch to you even when you never did anything, the pissed off kid everyone deemed a loser and because of that he was a bastard to everyone he encountered (even the nice kids) and of course the psychos (hey, I had a stalker, a fucked up neighbor kid who paintballed my house in front of my mother, AND found my name on a hit list once. High five!).
But still, I didn't let most of this "little stuff" bother me up until the last semester of my senior year, when a former friend started malicious rumors about people (and would be a racist prick and make fun of little minority kids to their faces. Yea, I smacked him upside the head everytime I witnessed him do it. Which was ONCE). I don't really wanna go into it, but he and these two dumbass snobby bitches made my life a living hell for my last semster of high school which was supposed to be the easiest and most fun of all 4 years.
So yea, there are people I went to high school with I don't particularly like and did hold a grudge against for a while, but do I still? There's that old saying "Living well is the best revenge," and after realizing those points, it's only HALF true: If someone has tried to wrong you in the past out of spite, malicious nature, or just for their own amusement, seeing you live well and happy is like a dagger to their gut that you keep twisting with every smile you have. So if you really wanna lower yourself to such a level then the saying's true.
But, if you've done it right, you've learned that you really don't care about that asshole and that the only thing you've focused on is what makes you happy, not what makes them misreable.
I've got people from childhood, high school, college, work, family members and even from right now I'll probably never forgive for the things they've done simply because they'll probably never be sincerely sorry for it, but I do my best everyday to focus on what makes me happy and who makes me happy. In other words, I might still not forgive people, but I choose not to be angry because of them anymore and let grudges melt away a long time ago.
I don't care about not giving that asshole the satisfaction of not seeing me happy, I don't care about living well just to spit in that jerk's face, I care about living life for myself and the people I care for and making myself happy for them, and that's how you're supposed to live your life. At least, that's what "I" think.
To get back to the conversation I had with my friend, I told him "I think I'll go just to talk with some friends. I'm hoping you go so I can talk with you." Hopefully, I can talk to that kid I never really talked to much in high school, or that one kid I always heard of in school but didn't actually meet until after graduation.
I hope that with the passing of this year, you all take this to heart and practice it for yourselves.
Happy holidays and a very happy new year to you all.
Lesson # 5
Every now and then I like to make a less ordinary post from all my tragic comedy of a life stuff and do something a little more serious. Sometimes it's for self reflection.
This is one of those times.
I met with an old high school buddy a little while back and we caught up with each other over a couple of beers when a realization hit me:
Me: "Hey, when's our high school reunion supposed to happen?"
Him: "Oh, 5 years after we graduate, so supposedly this year. You going?"
With the question came a few realizations.
1) At these kinds of reunions, there's always that drama shit. You know what I'm talking about. "You were a BITCH to me in high school, look at me now!/You were such an asshole in high school, I still hate you!/Why didn't we get married?/etc."
2) Because of realization #1, there's probably gonna be at least one person you don't wanna see there, and probably vice versa too.
3) Because of realization's 1 and 2, is it really worth it to go?
and finally
4) There's obviously gonna be some grudges. The question is do you still keep any?
4 got me going on a huge life revelation: Why do we hold grudges? Now I can be a pretty angry, merciless guy (my family has told me I know how to crucify a person with words and coldness if they cross me) but the question is why should I keep grudges? When you really think about it, when you hold a grudge against any person or thing you realize that in reality, you're living a very angry and unhappy life while whoever/whatever you're angry at probably isn't. Sure, there's a good chance they might not be as happy as you think and that they might be just as misreable, but why do you let them control your life by not letting yourself be happy?
Speaking honestly, high school was actually not so bad for me even though I wasn't actually popular (middle school was the jungle in my school system). In fact, I found more people to be nice than mean and I really hate it when we still see negative stereotypes in the media about jocks and popular kids. Yes, it's probably true that there's still some asshole jocks or bitch popular kid that makes kids lives a living hell every day of high school, but if you take a moment to realize why they're popular or well-liked, it's because they're well-liked. Sure, they're usually more attractive than the regular pimple faced teenager and that automatically makes them gold in some schools, but I've found that a lot of kids are popular because they get a long with a bunch of people and are actually (gasp!) nice.
Isn't that the way it works in all ages of life? You think the old bitter guy who doesn't even give you a hello when you see him is as well liked as the guy who would greet you?
On the flip side, I had every kind of asshole in high school too; The kid who spread rumors about people (and me) and ruin's kids lives in high school, the bitch who was a bitch to you even when you never did anything, the pissed off kid everyone deemed a loser and because of that he was a bastard to everyone he encountered (even the nice kids) and of course the psychos (hey, I had a stalker, a fucked up neighbor kid who paintballed my house in front of my mother, AND found my name on a hit list once. High five!).
But still, I didn't let most of this "little stuff" bother me up until the last semester of my senior year, when a former friend started malicious rumors about people (and would be a racist prick and make fun of little minority kids to their faces. Yea, I smacked him upside the head everytime I witnessed him do it. Which was ONCE). I don't really wanna go into it, but he and these two dumbass snobby bitches made my life a living hell for my last semster of high school which was supposed to be the easiest and most fun of all 4 years.
So yea, there are people I went to high school with I don't particularly like and did hold a grudge against for a while, but do I still? There's that old saying "Living well is the best revenge," and after realizing those points, it's only HALF true: If someone has tried to wrong you in the past out of spite, malicious nature, or just for their own amusement, seeing you live well and happy is like a dagger to their gut that you keep twisting with every smile you have. So if you really wanna lower yourself to such a level then the saying's true.
But, if you've done it right, you've learned that you really don't care about that asshole and that the only thing you've focused on is what makes you happy, not what makes them misreable.
I've got people from childhood, high school, college, work, family members and even from right now I'll probably never forgive for the things they've done simply because they'll probably never be sincerely sorry for it, but I do my best everyday to focus on what makes me happy and who makes me happy. In other words, I might still not forgive people, but I choose not to be angry because of them anymore and let grudges melt away a long time ago.
I don't care about not giving that asshole the satisfaction of not seeing me happy, I don't care about living well just to spit in that jerk's face, I care about living life for myself and the people I care for and making myself happy for them, and that's how you're supposed to live your life. At least, that's what "I" think.
To get back to the conversation I had with my friend, I told him "I think I'll go just to talk with some friends. I'm hoping you go so I can talk with you." Hopefully, I can talk to that kid I never really talked to much in high school, or that one kid I always heard of in school but didn't actually meet until after graduation.
I hope that with the passing of this year, you all take this to heart and practice it for yourselves.
Happy holidays and a very happy new year to you all.