Funny spam mail subject lines

[Cherub Rock]

I'll admit it, my college email account is fucked beyond repair. Somewhere along the line I went wrong and wrote my address down on the wrong site, and since then I have been getting flooded to the tune of 20-30 spam mails a day. What is worse is the spam feature is really poor, and these guys really can't be blocked anyway. That said, it does provide a good deal of humor reading through them (and I do, because occasionally I get really important emails like the ones that tell me I DID NOT get selected to receive tickets to the basketball game).

Anywho, I thought I'd share some of the more humorous ones (my comments in parenthesis):

Kavouras Tony - re: size your meat!
(Best use of "Re:" yet)

Abigayle Christmas - Re: fluorspa = gravesid
(Flour Spa = Graveside?)

Appetite_killer@MANAGE-HOSTING.NET - Tells your brain not to eat in a matter of minutes!
(Sounds dangerous)

Rawald Tatiana - You think you have enough size?
(Just wait, they get better)

Turner Jacqui - Why so small meat man?
(I got the mental image of a big black woman shaking her head when I read this)

Nasini Hannes - why your sausage is so small?? ;-)
(:()

Basol Marco - why your ramrod is so small?? ;-))
(I actually had a discussion about these two with my friend, because it was at this point that I realized the penis pill pushers were no longer sympathizing with us, but rather just making us sad and self-conscious. Also, ramrod is totally a guy word which makes this wrong in so many ways)

Christina Stone - Are you clean inside!
(I'm sure the girls will appreciate this one)

Sampson - You have feelings of guilt and embarrassment
(The first two sentences of this email were "Happy day!" followed by "Thousands of couples broke down because of them, making both parties unhappy." I swear these things are written by foreigners)

HealthyLiving@WEB-POPTRENDZ.COM - Benefits of a Healthy Colon!
(Make healthier, more vibrant poops?)

Maps Labs - purchase single person
(Just in case the dating scene isn't working out for ya)

Navy - Get five music downloads - free from the Navy
(No wonder recruitment is down)

Marsha - Relax with Take your chance to make her adore you. Outrun her ex in terms of size and performance!
(This was most straightforward penis enlargement pill email I got)

Bob Kessler - Bob Alert !
(Mental image: Guys sitting in bar, unwanted friend Bob walks in, everyone tries to hide)





That's just since November! Of course if I kept going back it would not be as good. It seems like these last months have been the start of a new golden age of spam. They must be paying the spam gnomes commision now. I even found a couple of important emails combing through these ($100 upgrade voucher to a hotel, woo?).

[Dresh]

http://spamusement.com/ <-- Greatest use of spam emails ever. Ignore the guest strips though, they're not as consistently funny as the admin's genius.

Unfortunately my own inbox has nothing worth mentioning at the moment.

[Lateli]

I have no funny subject lines.. :( however, I do have a decently long (for spam) email that's nearly all variations of "britney"

[Tibs]

Oh hey, spam can be mildly humourous.

Welcome to the internet.

[Wakka]

I think Tibs' e-penis just grew about three inches. I guess there's no point anyone posting stuff because you already saw it like three years ago on eBaum's World right?

¬_¬

[Roxie]

I think Tibs' e-penis just grew about three inches.
Now it's almost as long his location.

[Jetsetlemming]

Now it's almost as long his location.
:rofl:


Let's see what I've got in the "bulk" folder of my Yahoo email today. They let spam through on purpose to my inbox, but that's almost always from "Consumer Expressions", and never funny. :(
Damn, nothing good today. I usually have plenty of penis-related spam ("Increase ur Size! 6"), as well as things apparently in Russian ("äéìêÛÓą ÞàþĈúöÑïÃ?"), and random symbols. I have no idea what the random symbols are, it's just "#!%&&*@$*" for a subject, with "$%&!$*@%%@+-$@^9 426 _+$#5" etc. for the email. No attached files for viruses, or any point to it at all. O_o I think I missed a punchline somewhere in the gibberish.

[Comazon]

This thread has inspired me to look in my spam folder for the first time in months, and wtf?! I can't even understand what the spam is trying to sell me unless I study it really closely.

For example, I have this one piece of mail called, "Toasted whole-grain bread is layered with tender, cooked collard greens, scrambled egg whites, and sauteed Canadian bacon."

Inside it mentions some feature Google added, a poker site, adding someone to your friends in MySpace, creating a weblog with Xanga, and then how a soup is delicious...

...what?

(That'll teach me for looking into my spam folder)

[tweek.3867]

A WATCH MEANS CONDITIONS ARE FAVORABLE FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OFHIGH WINDS IN AND CLOSE TO THE WATCH AREA.

from Robinson Em

[Tibs]

Now it's almost as long his location.

Sorry, but with such a good deal on such a lovely location I just had to move to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch.