Lying.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Lying sucks. I know because I've been doing it a lot more recently and I'm pretty ashamed of myself for doing so. Like for the past year I managed to lay on about 3 or 4 whoppers that have no truth to them to my friends. I wasn't until tonight when I was talking to this girl that I realized that I've gotten so good at it that she was literally eating out of my hand.

Scared the everliving crap out of me.

The reason for doing so escape me other then trying to impress a girl(whos bones I would jump in an instant), fill a gap in a conversation, and stop my friend from convincing me I need to get "laid". Regaurdless a liar has no real excuse for lying and not a lot of people like liars. They are untrustworthy company and not worth having around. I won't go into huge detail what they were, but I pretty much decided that I am a retard and should stop doing so. I'm 19, not 10 and trying to impress peers.

Anyway, I know its impossible to go through life without lying unless you wanna have it rough. White lies or unoffending lies are some people tell just to not hurt a persons feelings.

What situations have you gone through in your life where you've told lies? That, or, what big whoppers have you told?

[PopCulturePooka]

Shit son, not a day goes by where I don't tell at least one porky, whopper, fib, white lie, distortion of the truth, lie by omission, misrepresentation of the facts, bluff, untruth or outright lie.

Lying is one of the best skills, best abilities someone can have if they use it well. The idea that bending the truth is inherently bad is wrong, we all need to lie occassionally.

And because I lie everyday, in very way (look up Pooka for Changeling: The Dreaming) I can be damned good at it.

I also used to teach students at Nova a really cool lesson on lying.

[mawande]

I hid most of my money from today's wages and haven't told my teenager I've been paid. Does that count as lying?

I almost never lie. It is effective because people do not expect it if I have to lie. A girl I knew decided to lie about going to a host club and had me back her up. That was very annoying. Plus she wanted to say we'd gone to some kind of Rap club. I've never been in one and being asked to lie using something I have no knowledge of to sound truthful annoys me. Sadly, her boyfriend is either gullible or chooses to ignore that he's being lied to, because to me she sucks at lying. But then, I was with her at the club.

[Mastiker]

I lie like a rug.

Never on the internet either.

D:

I'm actually fairly smooth at lying to people. And covering it up. Most often with another lie. Fun fun.

[erbiumfiber]

I'm a lawyer. I tell my client's version of the truth.

Pontius Pilate during questioning of Jesus: What is truth?

[akitaka]

I hid most of my money from today's wages and haven't told my teenager I've been paid. Does that count as lying?

I almost never lie. It is effective because people do not expect it if I have to lie. A girl I knew decided to lie about going to a host club and had me back her up. That was very annoying. Plus she wanted to say we'd gone to some kind of Rap club. I've never been in one and being asked to lie using something I have no knowledge of to sound truthful annoys me. Sadly, her boyfriend is either gullible or chooses to ignore that he's being lied to, because to me she sucks at lying. But then, I was with her at the club.

Ouch. Being a scape-goat is worse than lying for yourself, because you can end up both compromising and being compromised by a peer. Then again, there's always that line: "He/she did it."

Lying is what can be seen as a way to see how "adult" we become; the more contructively used, the more mature the person. Constructive is kind of tongue-in-cheek, though.

If the lie were to be uncovered, well, too bad. Mawande's example of not telling her kid about the pay is a good one, which is the best kind of deception, in my opinion. As soon as he asks, no sweat. "I forgot to tell you".

The second-best one is telling a half-truth; like last night at a restaurant, my sister had to be home by midnight. She called at 11pm, and said, "We have to wait an hour more, because it's packed". Worked like a charm. There was a wait, She didn't come back incredibly late, and everything fit like a nice puzzle.

[Mastiker]

The second-best one is telling a half-truth; like last night at a restaurant, my sister had to be home by midnight. She called at 11pm, and said, "We have to wait an hour more, because it's packed". Worked like a charm. There was a wait, She didn't come back incredibly late, and everything fit like a nice puzzle.


Sadly, the only time this works is when I'm lying about it. When it actually is packed (or something like that) and I call home, my mom freaks out D:

Parents are weird about what they choose to believe. :gloomy:

[Stephy]

I think everyone lies now and then. Don't feel too shamed as long as you're not doing anything horrible or hurting any one young man >:\

Haha. You can tell when I lie (mind you I mostly do little lies to get out of trouble from my dad). I get REALLY guilty and either start acting very quiet, nervous, or sad. XD But if someone says "do you promise?" no matter how hard I try I can't lie against that! So when I say "I promise" I mean it.

[delen]

Lying is for losers!

[crabity]

I feel like I'm lying right now.

...by using this fake username

because I'm trying to create a new identity under a new name. I do feel guilty, but...I guess I'm a coward.

[ZaichikArky]

IRL I am honest, too honest for my own good sometimes when it comes to close friends and family members. I am abraisive and get to the point quicky. I tell white lies when I don't want to hurt someone, or when I want to avoid trouble from my parents, but still this is hard to get through >_>.

Online, sometimes I like to make up the biggest bullshit ever and try to see if people can see through my lies. Usually I let them know later when they're sufficiently pissed off, and I only do that when I feel like trolling. I tend to like to make up bullshit stories and see if lamers I want to flame believe it. Often they do and call me a big fat liar. Then I am quite happy with myself. But that's only when I'm trolling people, normally online I am even more honest and blunt than my RL self : ).

[Jetsetlemming]

Everything I saw is a lie. Including this. :cool:

[ellie]

Adult children of alcoholics are notoriously liars. There are many common links between the children of alcoholics and many of them all experience the same set of linked-characteristics, such as lying, a need to please others, and oftentimes depression.

I lie; I don't mean to but it happens. That's what scares me--when I lie, I usually don't mean to, fiction comes out of my mouth without me consciously choosing to do so. It's not that I lie all the time, and it's usually not Big lies, but rather when I'm telling a story, I will add details that are not true, and I don't know why I do that.

[Druid]

Everything I saw is a lie. Including this. :cool:
*mind fuck*
Hmm..Lying comes as easily as breathing for me. Tis just somethin I do.*shrugs*

[Cherub Rock]

Lying sucks. I know because I've been doing it a lot more recently and I'm pretty ashamed of myself for doing so. Like for the past year I managed to lay on about 3 or 4 whoppers that have no truth to them to my friends. I wasn't until tonight when I was talking to this girl that I realized that I've gotten so good at it that she was literally eating out of my hand.

Scared the everliving crap out of me.

The reason for doing so escape me other then trying to impress a girl(whos bones I would jump in an instant), fill a gap in a conversation, and stop my friend from convincing me I need to get "laid". Regaurdless a liar has no real excuse for lying and not a lot of people like liars. They are untrustworthy company and not worth having around. I won't go into huge detail what they were, but I pretty much decided that I am a retard and should stop doing so. I'm 19, not 10 and trying to impress peers.

Anyway, I know its impossible to go through life without lying unless you wanna have it rough. White lies or unoffending lies are some people tell just to not hurt a persons feelings.

What situations have you gone through in your life where you've told lies? That, or, what big whoppers have you told?


Wholeheartedly disagree. Liars can be some of the most trustworthy people. For instance, who would you rather trust a dark secret with, a morally upright person who cannot tell a lie, or a fellow scumbag who you trust but also know as a good liar? Personally I think whatever lack of moral fiber necessary to be a good liar also makes for good secret keepers. After all, if they are the kind of person who keeps a running lie of when they lost their virginity (ahem, most guys) is pretty experienced with keeping things inside them.

There's a lot of good people out there who lie every day and they have lots of different reasons. People lie to their parents about their grades, lie to their loved ones about whether they like their cooking or the gift they bought them, lie to their friends about whether they have plans to go out instead of flat out telling them they don't want to hang out... and some of those lies are good! It's better not to be blunt about some things, because people will get the picture if you constantly keep the "I have plans" thing up, and there won't be that awkward conversation where you tell Bill that you think he's a great guy but you really don't want to hang out with him at his place. Because Bill has feelings too.

And personally I think telling a lie about when you got laid is okay, because peer pressure is pretty unreasonable for kids. Now if you keep that lie going for an unnecessarily long time that might be unhealthy, but for high school kids I'm sure that sort of thing in necessary to fit in. At least it was if you played a sport (or two) like I did. If someone thought you were a virgin then they would eat you alive. That's why I, like all people, lost mine at the beach to [/i]someone they wouldn't know.[/i] :liar:

[Jetsetlemming]

Adult children of alcoholics are notoriously liars. There are many common links between the children of alcoholics and many of them all experience the same set of linked-characteristics, such as lying, a need to please others, and oftentimes depression.

When displeasing daddy or mommy means a violent beating, lieing becomes a survival instinct. :(

[ellie]

My dad's an alcoholic and I know that part of the reason I'm screwed up so bad is because of him. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad...but I also acknowledge the fact that his alcohol and drug abuse problems caused a lot of problems for me. Including the fact that I lie unconsciously sometimes.

I think "white lies" in general are perfectly acceptable and everyone does it.

"How do you like my cookies?"
"They are great!" When in fact, they taste like shit. There's no reason to be intentionally mean to someone if you can make them feel good. I hate making people feel bad about things and I will go out of my way to please someone else. That's actually another problem that I am trying to deal with--the fact that I will make myself feel like shit if it means making another person happy. I always allow myself to be a doormat and I don't see anything wrong with it.

"Can I borrow your pink shirt?"
"Sure that's fine!" even though I had plans to wear it tonight, I guess I'll find something else.

[crabity]

"Can I borrow your pink shirt?"
"Sure that's fine!" even though I had plans to wear it tonight, I guess I'll find something else.

that's considered lying??
I thought it was morally right to put others before yourself.

[PopCulturePooka]

"Can I borrow your pink shirt?"
"Sure that's fine!" even though I had plans to wear it tonight, I guess I'll find something else.
What?

I'd just say no, I'm going to wear it. Why the hell should someone else get precedent over my property? lol. How weird.


And After my post about how much I lie and Ellie saying liars come from alcoholic parents, I must defend mine. I had an excellent upbringing, my parents are excellent people, best anyone can hope for (besides the fact my dad is pretty dumb). I lie because its easier, it makes life fun and because I can.

[mawande]

that's considered lying??
I thought it was morally right to put others before yourself.

Not wanting to loan someone your shirt is hardly putting yourself vefore them. Not wanting to loan someone who's freezing your extra jacket, or even to just share your jacket with someone freezing, that's wrong.

[crabity]

Not wanting to loan someone your shirt is hardly putting yourself vefore them. Not wanting to loan someone who's freezing your extra jacket, or even to just share your jacket with someone freezing, that's wrong.

*shurgs* that's just how I was taught.
Don't ask anything from others unless it's absolutely necessary, and don't say no to others unless I absolutely have to.

unless, of course, that friend is ALWAYS asking for clothes. then I might start to get annoyed at her...

[ellie]

Oh I know lots of people lie who don't have alcoholic parents. There are other reasons people lie, but I know part of the reason I lie is because of my dad.

IS it lying, about the pink shirt, or is it just being a doormat? Kind of hard to tell.

[Kwiz]

IS it lying, about the pink shirt, or is it just being a doormat? Kind of hard to tell.

Being inconsiderate entails lying to others. Individuals who are doormats tend to lie to themselves.

[PopCulturePooka]

IS it lying, about the pink shirt, or is it just being a doormat? Kind of hard to tell.


I'm going to go with doormat.

Its your shirt. You paid for it. You want to wear it. Wo want to enjoy it. Why shouldn;t you merely because some moocher wants it?

[Cherub Rock]

If there is mutual mooching going on, which in many cases there is, then it's not really being a doormat. Being a doormat implies that you're letting them have their way because you are passive. In the case of mutual mooching, you are letting them borrow your shirt because the consequences of not letting them is potentially losing half your wardrobe.

I learned this from my friend and her sister. Either that or the comedian who said gay guys go for guys with good tastes in clothing because one of the perks to being in a relationship with them is your wardrobe automatically doubles.

[hidethedrone]

The only person I lie to is myself. Which is the worst person to lie to of all.

Is it really a lie to others, when you yourself want to believe what you say is true?

[Fred]

Regarding lying:
I think of lying as a deliberate attempt to deceive people. In that context, I rarely lie. In part, I find it takes much more energy to maintain a lie than it takes to simply acknowledge the truth. Also, I do my best to model the kind of relationship that I want. Since I don’t want to be lied to, it is important to me to model telling the truth.

Regarding withholding information:
I don’t equate truth-telling with saying everything that is on my mind. There are circumstances where withholding information is a deliberate attempt to deceive someone and is therefore lying. In general, I feel that my thoughts and experiences are personal and I do not feel any obligation to share them.

What is the truth?
I have a non-standard definition of the truth. I do not mean to suggest it is the “best” definition or the “right” definition. It is just a definition I have found personally useful. I define the Truth as something that can’t be debated. What this definition helps me to do is focus on my experience rather than my judgment. I prefer to describe my experience because I think it is more valuable information than my judgment. Some of you reading this definition might get stuck on the word “debate”. That’s fine with me. I use the word “debate” because I have not yet thought of a better fitting word. It is the process that I care about. For example, if I said that Spiderman 2 was a great movie, there are some people who would agree and some who would disagree. It is a judgment, and, as such, it sets up a right/wrong dichotomy. However, if I said I enjoyed watching the movie, then I am just relating my experience. My experience does not negate another person’s experience.

Regarding being a doormat versus being supportive:
I had a history of putting others before myself and it took me a long time fix it. One of the things that helped me the most is understanding that the stronger I am the better able I am to truly be of service. So, I make sure to take care of my needs before taking care of the needs of others. Another piece of it was believing in abundance.

[Mysticalmelody]

I avoid lying if at all possible. I think sometimes I tend to be brutally honest though. I won't deliberately lie to save someone's feelings. I think they get the most help by hearing the truth. I know i prefer it. When I ask if my hair looks horrible I want to know the truth, not go out looking like crap. Ditto if I ask "Am I annoying you?" or something. When people try to lie to me to be nice it's annoying. Also I hate people who lie in order to brag. I have known people that do that compulsively and it's suuuper obvious and gets old very quickly. It makes me not want to talk to that person. I'll be brutally honest and tell them that too, lol.

Lying to save your own butt is okay though I guess. A little lie about why you were late is cool. So long as lying doesn't hurt anyone, or wouldn't hurt anyone (you being an exception) if it was found out, it's okay in my book. Just be willing to give up some of your trustworthiness if you're caught.

[Dennis nist]

I lie all the time. I like lying so that the victim feel good about themselves so that I can get what I want.

It's easy. Use their pride, ego, their subconscious against them.

[mawande]

You make me shudder, Dennis nist.

[Jay]

I never lie.

*irony*

[Dennis nist]

You make me shudder, Dennis nist.

I aim to please.

[Jay]

I lie all the time. I like lying so that the victim feel good about themselves so that I can get what I want.

It's easy. Use their pride, ego, their subconscious against them.

This man speak many truth.

[Dennis nist]

English speaker I am not

[Jay]

Either way, I like the way you think. :D

[Roxie]

"Lying is the most fun a girl can have with her clothes on"

[Jay]

You got it baby.

[Decade]

God I missed Jay :innocent:

[Jay]

I missed you too sweetheart.

I less-than-three you.