Science to Vampires: DIAF.

[Jetsetlemming]

http://www.livescience.com/othernews/061025_vampire_debunk.html


A researcher has come up with some simple math that sucks the life out of the vampire myth, proving that these highly popular creatures can't exist.

University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou's work debunks pseudoscientific ideas, such as vampires and zombies, in an attempt to enhance public literacy. Not only does the public believe in such topics, but the percentages are at dangerously high level, Efthimiou told LiveScience.

Legend has it that vampires feed on human blood and once bitten a person turns into a vampire and starts feasting on the blood of others.

Efthimiou's debunking logic: On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.

If mortality rates were taken into consideration, the population would disappear much faster. Even an unrealistically high reproduction rate couldn't counteract this effect.

"In the long run, humans cannot survive under these conditions, even if our population were doubling each month," Efthimiou said. "And doubling is clearly way beyond the human capacity of reproduction."

So whatever you think you see prowling around on Oct. 31, it most certainly won't turn you into a vampire.


Don't you love it when scientists put their minds to good use?
(oh, and this is completely wrong if vampires were like they are in an Anne Rice novel. ;))

[Pierrot le Fou]

Shit. I must be a vampire then. You too! MY GOD!

[The Divine Comedy]

Yeah, if all vampires are like Anne Rice's... then this is totally wrong. ;P

[PopCulturePooka]

Its completely wrong based on most vampire legend as far as I am aware.

[Mechs]

What a party pooper.

[Ceirnian]

It's kinda lame for him to try and debunk a legend that has so many variations.

[Firefly]

Just look at his NAME. Costas Efthimiou. Sounds like a vampire trying to fool us all :o

[jindojim]

Just look at his NAME. Costas Efthimiou. Sounds like a vampire trying to fool us all :o

:rofl: That sounds like the best explanation.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Don't worry, I have garlic for all of us.

OH MY GOD IT BURNS!

[ZaichikArky]

his research isn't in accord with the more popular vampire myth. If a vampire bit a person, they wouldn't die, they'd turn into a vampire.

[Kaji]

his research isn't in accord with the more popular vampire myth. If a vampire bit a person, they wouldn't die, they'd turn into a vampire.

True, but his point is that if each vampire bit a human once a month, in less than three years you'd run out of humans to bite, regardless of how quickly reproduction takes its course.

[ZaichikArky]

well according to anne rice, vampires didn't always need human blood, they could also suck the blood of animals :p. they just needed BLUUUD. doesn't matter what kind.

Anyway, this kind of research is so stupid IMO. Why waste money trying to prove something like this when it could be used to find a cure for cancer??

[Overkongen]

Also, as far as I remember, it is possible to kill vampires (think Blade II or From Dusk Till Dawn), so it shouldn't be that hard to keep their population in check.

Also, howsaboot just drinking the blood of buxom wenches, yet not killing them?

[Beowulf]

Someone needed a fucking scientist to tell them vampires weren't real?

[PopCulturePooka]

I thought that vampires can bite people as much as they want. The human needs to drink the vampires blood to... change.

It's the werewolves bites that turn their victims.

[Soli]

My sister's friend thinks vampires are real.

And what are Anne Rice's vampires like?

[Jetsetlemming]

anne Rice's vampires have to be made on purpose by another vampire. First the original vampire drinks their blood, then has the human drink some of the vampire's blood in return. :)
Someone needed a fucking scientist to tell them vampires weren't real?
You know, I was wondering about that, because according to the article: "Not only does the public believe in such topics, but the percentages are at dangerously high level, Efthimiou told LiveScience."
I realized, though. If some dumbass scientist came up to me and asked me if I believed in vampires seriously, I'd most likely respond, "...Sure, kid, why not."

[CrazyAce86]

I like the vampires in Laurell K. Hamilton novels, but I digress.

Well, Lestat was a rock star, maybe he got bored again and is pretending to be a scientist now. He's rather flamboyant, he's going to need someway to cover his tracks again.

[japanat]

his research isn't in accord with the more popular vampire myth. If a vampire bit a person, they wouldn't die, they'd turn into a vampire.
Read it again. That's exactly what his research said.

[Y.T.]

Vampires wouldn't be able to move around....
Blood isn't exactly energy-rich. It's mostly water...
I mean it's healthy and wholesome, but it's not a great source of energy
(unlike fresh liver, which has a lot of stuff that needn't even be digested... )

Not to mention that muscles need some oxygen to work ...
vampires aren't supposed to breathe, hence they wouldn't be able to
move around much... since they don't breathe.

[shimanotaka]

I can't fucking believe that he gets to call himself a scientist. It says that he "proves" that vampires can't exist.

He just assumes that a vampire sucks one person dry each month
He just assumes that every person bitten turns.
He just assumes that no vampires ever die.

A six-year-old on acid could make up a less flawed theory than that.

Costas Efthimiou should be isolated for all eternity in case his immense stupidity is contageous and Sara Goudarzi, LiveScience Staff Writer, should be thoroughly spanked and fired for even mentioning his name without applying a ton of sarcasm and irony.

[Lord Darkblade]

Actually his theory makes a lot of sense, obviously to sustain the vampire population they have 3 factors:

a) Cullings - Vampires attempt to pass on their own blood lines, each other "strain" reduces the human population, and indeed the "best" humans first. Thus vampires will reduce their own numbers to minimum sustainable levels to ensure that feuding does not get out of hand.

b) Blood can be drained without biting and then drunk, it doesn't lose any properties by being drained then eaten thus smart vampires will ensure that only the best humans become vampires while the rest become simple "blood" taps. Of course because you are taking the best they will realise a and b and continue to self regulate

c) There is likely a mutant strain of vampire around that when it bites removes the curse of vampirism, acknowledging that vampires are intelligent we realise that they will keep these ones around (presumably inventing a way to pass on the strain), ideally targetting a lower intelligence level group such that they can be easily controlled and directed without too many questions. This also means that the best and brightest are still "pure strain" vampires.

This we have shown that a) vampires are highly intelligent, b) vampires likely do exist and self regulate meaning we may never know of their existance, c) vampires aren't evil they are just misunderstood.

Do I pass bad science 101?

[Firefly]

Alas! A more scientific kind of vampire. :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porphyria

[Y.T.]

I can't fucking believe that he gets to call himself a scientist. It says that he "proves" that vampires can't exist.


I can't fucking believe you think he was serious....

Yes, it's sloppy thinking, but then, he probably concieved that theory in ~ 5 minutes ...
(and typed it up in another 5). Why someone thought it's worth mentioning is beyond me...

[shimanotaka]

I can't fucking believe you think he was serious....

Yes, it's sloppy thinking, but then, he probably concieved that theory in ~ 5 minutes ...
(and typed it up in another 5). Why someone thought it's worth mentioning is beyond me...
The sad thing is that I think he was serious. Why the hell would he otherwise write a paper about it? To ruin his "scientific" career?

http://arxiv.org/abs/physics/0608059

But I can agree on that somebody made a hen of a feather. And I'd still like to give her a good spanking.

[Roxie]

was this part of the ignoble awards or something?

[Y.T.]

Papers have been written on pinguin defecation....... (and good ones .. I laughed a lot while reading about the projected bowel overpressure that needes to occur so the penguin can
squirt its shit far away enough.. )

Let it be. If someone manages to get a phd in physics from Cornell...
write to Cornell, and demand that they strip him of his phd..


To Roxie..

It's IgNobel... not ignoble.

[Saitou Hajime]

The most interesting thing this guy's article has done for me is remind me I wanted to buy Bram Stoker's Dracula. And I did. :)

[Pierrot le Fou]

Oh my God -- vampires bite animals too?! I need to become a vegetarian, BUT HOLD THE GARLIC!

I ain't gonna eat no vampire-beef I ain't!

(though some vampire mutton may be nice)

[PopCulturePooka]

I wonder if his article was more meant to bea 'digestable' example of statistical and ecological population principals.

It mgiht be a nifty one to show to my bio students next year.

EDIT: Yeap, his article sounds in the vein of Mythbusters science, using scientific ideas in silly things to reach the common man.

From the abstract of his article:
We examine certain features of popular myths regarding ghosts, vampires and zombies as they appear in film and folklore. We use physics to illuminate inconsistencies associated with these myths and to give practical explanation to certain aspects.

I'm actually going to read the article, I'm thinking it will be useful.

[japanat]

Oh my God -- vampires bite animals too?! I need to become a vegetarian, BUT HOLD THE GARLIC!

I ain't gonna eat no vampire-beef I ain't!

(though some vampire mutton may be nice)Guess it's pre-tenderized!

My friend's college roommate bought into the whole Anne Rice vampire thing; she truly believed they were real. Now, everybody read the title: Ghosts, Vampires and Zombies: Cinema Fiction vs Physics Reality
Authors: C.J. Efthimiou, S. Gandhi
Comments: 11 pages. Based on talks by C.E. to attack pseudoscientific believes
Subj-class: Physics and Society; Physics Education; Popular PhysicsIgnore his typo, and you see why he would publish the paper, to debunk (hence his title, debunker, in the article). Also, he needs to publish a certain number of papers to keep his tenure; but universities don't say what the paper has to be about... My friend, an associate English professor, wrote one of his about how to buy used cars in Japan and published it in Kansai TimeOut.

[Y.T.]

It mgiht be a nifty one to show to my bio students next year.

Get gypsy population history in Slovakia to illustrate what happens when humans breed unchecked...
In some places, where there was one family (30 'individuals' in 1945), now there is a slum of 600...
Thanks to welfare.. at least the current sensible welfare system prevents them from attempting that again..



Ignore his typo, and you see why he would publish the paper, to debunk (hence his title, debunker, in the article). Also, he needs to publish a certain number of papers to keep his tenure; but universities don't say what the paper has to be about... My friend, an associate English professor, wrote one of his about how to buy used cars in Japan and published it in Kansai TimeOut.

I hope that that is not the case in physics.

[PopCulturePooka]

I hope that that is not the case in physics.


It's pretty much the case everywhere.

[Roxie]

To Roxie..

It's IgNobel... not ignoble.:knockout:

I know :frypan:

[Cool Bones]

That was a very weak...
I don't believe in vampires but if I did, I'd still do.

He also ''debunked'' ghost.
He said people think ghosts can walk and pass through walls but if they walk, it means they are attracted by gravity and are made of matter but if they pass through walls, it means they are not.

He then claimed to have debunked ghosts because they have to choose between one or the other and in stories they do both so it means they don't exist.

The problem with his theory is that they don't have a physical form and make their presence known by various ways like creating hallucinations, odours, impressions in your brain, etc.
When people say they saw a ghost walking down the stairs or something like that, it was an hallucination, the ghost wasn't actually doing it.

It's idiotic to use walking as an argument against ghosts when they never really walked in the first place.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Yeah, I mean, as a vampire, I've seen a lot of ghosts in my day. We're real tight 'n shit. And all my homies (who happen to be ghosts, through no fault of their own) don't walk. I have dozens of home videos of them drunk and 'stumbling' through walls, and ceilings, and the occasional hapless guest, but NEVER walking or affected by gravity!

Stupid scientists...

[Cool Bones]

That's great, I don't have any ghost friends, I've only ever seen two ghosts in my older house.
There was a grandpa ghost that used to walk in the kitchen and some thing that was in the salle de jeu. The grandpa didn't do anything but the other was scary.

[Roxie]

\some thing that was in the salle de jeu
in the salad de who?

[Cool Bones]

That would be playroom in english but I'm not sure if it's a real word.
It's where children play and store their toys.

[Roxie]

Yeah, that's a real word. Don't know if it's a compound or not, but yes. We have play/rooms.