Self-inflicted.

[InsertWapNameHere]

Afew days ago I took 900mg of dextromethorphan hydrobromide(DXM) and had a brief moment of total dissociation from my body and my life(I won't go into much detail other than the important part to my post, unless someone requests it).

Moments before I started feeling my body again and remembering who I was I remembered thinking "Is he dead?.. eh, just as well, he was a very sad individual...*breathe*.. he is still breathing.. guess he's not dead.. I wonder who he is.. oh yeah, it's me...I'm abram..." at which point I remembered fully who I was. The worst sadness I've ever felt in my life filled me as I realized what my life was. I haven't gotten over this experience and I still can't decided which was the mistake, the trip or all the instances that have shaped my life into what it is today.

So now I ask for all of you to share one of your bigger life changing mistakes.

[Jay]

Trusting a certain... she doesn't even deserve to be called girl... enough to get into a relationship with her.

I request detail.

[ellie]

Ugh, robo-trippin, that shit'll getcha fucked up. Just don't eat triple Cs, those are really really bad for your liver or something.

I dunno what my biggest mistake is, probably trusting my last boyfriend for so long when clearly I should not have.

[koku]

This is another reason why I woudln't touch drugs beyond alcohol; you can never tell the difference and it often leads to depression.

Then again one could ask, "What came first, the egg or the chicken?"

Either way, things can be improved; atelast most things.

Best of luck to everyone.

[InsertWapNameHere]

I request detail.

About 30 minutes after taking the DXM(tussin gelcaps) my body started getting numb so I go tell my parents I'm going to bed early as to not get any unwanted visits while I was tripping. I had psy-trance qued up on winamp(3 hours worth) and set to repeat. The setup for my trip was done, so I go to bed and relaxed as I waited.

50 minutes into the trip some serious open eyed visuals started, think any of those vis plugins for winamp only alot more intense and just on awhole other level of beautiful. After 20 minutes of this I got up to take a leak(i had 2 bottles of water to get the pills down). The light was killer on my eyes and as i reached down to put my sandles on my vision kinda lagged behind my body which made me realize I was more messed up than I actually thought I was. After getting back to bed nothing eventful really happened besides more visuals.

About 3 hours in I started wondering if I wasn't going to experience anything new than I had on my other trips with less DXM, then I slowly just stopped thinking and drifted off into a cold darkness. This void was calm and quiet, I couldn't hear the music anymore. I have no idea how long I was in this state but I remember having a decent sized dialogue with myself. Everything was peaceful, I was content with this and wouldn't mind if i had never woken up.

After coming too I was frightand that the thought of my life had made me sad, I jumped out of my bed, barely being able to keep my balance and turned off my speakers. I tried going to sleep at this point but I know I didn't and I have fuzzy memories about doing stuff on my pc, or trying to atleast(monitor light is killer), holding on with all my stength I could summon to the doorframe that leads to the backyard as I took another leak, etc.

The day after my body was still numb, but it was responding to how I wanted it to move and that was enough for me.

There you have it, all the details.


Ugh, robo-trippin, that shit'll getcha fucked up. Just don't eat triple Cs, those are really really bad for your liver or something.

Yes, I do research on things before I try them out. =p

[Ahimsa]

*shakes her head at people using non-opioiod antitussives as a recreational drug* Seriously, what we have here is A CRY FOR HELP OR ATTENTION. If you really wanted to truely do damage to yourself, you would have done better than take an over the counter medication. What you need is a friend or a therapist to deal with whatever underlying issue you have. Stop experimenting with drugs in obscene doses unless you truely plan on dying. I'm a pretty compassionate person, but I really do not pitty people who die or do serious damage to themselves by doing stuff like this.

:mad:

[koku]

Agree with ms. ghandi supporter.

[D-pad]

I hated it when I did drugs and went numb........I either felt like I was floating and couldn't stop or I was too heavey and was sinking........

[Bob]

I got arrested in 6th grade for possesion. It sucked

I snorted chalk once, im not sure why

[InsertWapNameHere]

*shakes her head at people using non-opioiod antitussives as a recreational drug* Seriously, what we have here is A CRY FOR HELP OR ATTENTION. If you really wanted to truely do damage to yourself, you would have done better than take an over the counter medication. What you need is a friend or a therapist to deal with whatever underlying issue you have. Stop experimenting with drugs in obscene doses unless you truely plan on dying. I'm a pretty compassionate person, but I really do not pitty people who die or do serious damage to themselves by doing stuff like this.

:mad:


You miss understand what I had in mind when creating this thread. I was simply looking for a title that wasn't plain and caught peoples eyes. I simply wanted to share a mistake of mine, a personal and serious mistake, and I wanted others to do the same, it doesn't matter if it involves drugs, lovers, friends, money, pets, material possesions, etc. so long as it was a life changing mistake, or atleast a big one that you really regret. Maybe people can benefit and not make the same mistakes, or see that the mistake isn't so uncommen which might help them with it, etc. I do not want to dredge up an argument about drugs or anything of the sort, and my mistake with it was that I was simply not ready to see what I saw. The "self-inflicted" reffers more to my life than to my use of drugs(which rarely happens I might add), and is not a cry for help. Sorry for any misunderstandings.

[Pierrot le Fou]

If you continue taking hallucinogens/disassociatives and don't change the things that they enlightened you to about yourself and you dislike, then it's your fault -- not the drugs. Hallucinogens/disassociatives tend to give you a unique perspective on yourself, which can be good and bad, if you use that information productively. So the things you saw and disliked should be things you start working on now, as disliking yourself in whole or in part and popping hallucinogens/disassociatives is a recipe for disaster.

kokujin -- hallucinogens do not cause depression. They may trigger latent depression, or make a current depression worse, but they cannot turn Joe sunshine into a sobbing suicidal wreck.

[koku]

kokujin -- hallucinogens do not cause depression. They may trigger latent depression, or make a current depression worse, but they cannot turn Joe sunshine into a sobbing suicidal wreck.

Then again one could ask, "What came first, the egg or the chicken?"


I think everyone has latent depression(unless you are lucky and immune; It also depends on how strong you use the word).

I think awakening latent depression is just as bad as causing depression (does that count as the same??).

I think it would be hard to gauge the difference between a sad memory that you've almot forgotten, and latent depression that you don't know about.

Not worth th risk either way ^^. And like you said, It sure as hell isn't going to make the situation worse.

[hapacheese]

Remembering a sad memory is entirely different than *actual* depression.

Everyone has the blues from time to time, but not everyone has depression, latent or not. I've seen the effects of true depression first-hand on several people, and the blues that most people feel are nothing in comparison. Depression is oftentimes debilitating and dangerous.

[koku]

Remembering a sad memory is entirely different than *actual* depression.

Everyone has the blues from time to time, but not everyone has depression, latent or not. I've seen the effects of true depression first-hand on several people, and the blues that most people feel are nothing in comparison. Depression is oftentimes debilitating and dangerous.

Ah, all righty.



Can you have latent depression that you just don't know about??(yet)


Or is that far fetched?

I know when I smoked weed a couple times(long long ago I'm much more saint like now) my mind did wander alot and sometimes it just made me feel like shit. I'm sitting there with my friends and my mind won't go off of some of the sad/crappy things I had to shift through.

I can only guess how bad that would be under the influence of a stronger drug.

[hapacheese]

Well, sure. Most depression is caused by certain chemical imbalances in the brain. The introduction of mind-altering drugs can potentially make things worse.

To put it into perspective, my schizophrenic friend ended up slitting his own throat with a broken bottle in the middle of a parking lot one night after smoking too much weed. A normal person wouldn't do that, but his mind was already unbalanced as it was, and the drugs made the voices that much louder that night. =\

I consider myself a very balanced guy (wasn't always like that, though), but even so, I stay away from the drugs. Except alcohol, of course. I'm a very happy drunk ;)

[Pierrot le Fou]

Mental illnesses tend to have some basis in heredity. Schizophrenia especially seems to be hereditary to some degree, and those with a strong family history of it should avoid drugs, because even if they exhibit no symptoms of schizophrenia, a bout with drugs could make it not-so-latent anymore. This happened to a friend of mine in college. Another friend of mine was diagnosed with OCD after relatively serious drug use. Prior to that he hadn't had many (any?) problems.

There is a huge difference between someone who likes to drink a little too much, and a full-blown alcoholic. There is a difference between sad memories and depression. There is a difference between talking to yourself and being schizophrenic. There's a difference between having quirks and having OCD.

They are not equivalent.

So yes, you can have latent depression. It's quite possible. And drugs could very well bring it out -- especially hallucinogens. Hallucinogens have been used in therapy because they do funky things to the ego making us see ourselves in a new light, and in some ways break down the psychological barriers we put up to protect ourselves. That makes hallucinogens a great theraputic tool, but also incredibly dangerous to someone who is thinking they'll have a good time, watches the barriers fall, and sees the stuff they protect themselves from in their regular life.

[koku]

ego making us see ourselves in a new light, and in some ways break down the psychological barriers we put up to protect ourselves.

That's pretty interesting stuff. Doesn't alcohol do the same thing?

Ppeople are themselves the most when they're drunk Simply because they are more likely to act on their true desires and wants. Agree? Disagree?

Well, sure. Most depression is caused by certain chemical imbalances in the brain.

Can it also just happen from trauma or a significant life event?

There is a huge difference between someone who likes to drink a little too much, and a full-blown alcoholic.

^^ I always had a little theory that most alcoholics are predispoed to become one. This could happen either through heredity or some life trauma. Perhaps we think the same thing.



All righty, let's try to add something to the topic.

Life changing mistake....not yet ^^

[hapacheese]

Yes, it can be triggered by trauma. However, we haven't figured out what specifically causes depression. In some cases, like bi-polar disorder for instance, it's caused by a chemical imbalance (lithium, to be specific in this case). However, other cases, the specific cause is unknown. Two people can go through the same event and come out psychologically completely different.

Life changing... well, does it have to be a mistake? Or simply a life changing event?

[4letterwords]

I let myself be vulnerable and I fell in love with someone.

Never doing that again.

[D-pad]

Big mistake-----


Making out with a bi-polar chick who stalks you constantly even after you tell her off.