How do I experience "daily life"?

[Comazon]

Okay, let me sum up my situation....

I'm a 20 year-old white guy (perhaps a BIT Japanophile) from California, USA. I think I speak and write English well (you can be the judge). I'm pretty mild-mannered, and I have no urge to go clubbing or partying.

I saved up enough money to stay in Japan for about a month, so I plan on going between the end of December to the end of January (yes, I'm aware this is a pretty bad time to go). By the time I go, I'll have about 2 years of Japanese study under my belt.

Now the problem...

I don't really want to see museums or other standard tourist spots (though I'm bound to see a few). I want to see and hang around with Japanese living out their daily lives. Yes, I know "daily-life" varies person-to-person, which is why this question is so hard.

I actually made friends with a Japanese couple during a vacation in Europe. They actually said if I ever went to Japan, I could stay with them for a week (in Tokyo). That's a good start, I guess.

Maybe I could phrase my question like this...How would I know if I want to live in Japan? This is referring to people and culture, not financially.

Does anyone else have recommendations? Even a small job or volunteer work is fine.

[NERD]

I don't really see a clear cut solution for this. For one thing, I don't think there is a lot of volunteer job you can do as a non-Japanese person, and if you wanted to work (I'm guessing you'd be getting paid) then you'd need a specific visa for that, and I'd think you need to work there at least half a year for that. From the employer's stand point, there is no point of hiring some American guy for couple of weeks or months, just because he wants to experience Japan.

[羽之助]

How does Kamakura sound? Next town over, Fujisawa, to be exact. I met a small ryokan landlord (the ryokan, not the landlord) who is really nice. One night's stay is about 4000 yen, for a nice room, use of the kitchen and fridge and all that. Perhaps you could work out a not-too expensive rate to stay for three weeks. After the New Year season, the place might be dead and he'd have the house empty. No family as far as I know though. Really, if you want to experience daily Japanese life, go to some mind-numbing job for twelve hours and then go to a bar, repeat.

[Comazon]

:boggled: 12 hours... *shivers*

LOL. Thanks for the replies. I was worried this would be next to impossible to answer.

I was actually thinking I could rent a furnished apartment in Tokyo for a month, so needing a place to stay isn't really an issue. I was just hoping some one would have some miracle epiphany about something I could do.

Until that happens, I guess I'll be your typical gaijin tourist in Japan.

If you have any more ideas, please keep them coming!

[PopCulturePooka]

Take a few midday lessons at an Eikaiwa with the old housewives, then go shopping and coffee with them and listen to them gossip.

[erbiumfiber]

I have a large apartment in Tokyo in a very non-gaijin section of town where you can see daily life aplenty. I also happen to be looking for a cat-sitter for the Christmas-New Year's season (you're welcome to stay after that). My daughter goes to school in the states, I have an extra bedroom. If you take care of the cats, you can come up close and personal with garbage sorting and disposal rules. Anyway, if you're interested, PM me. Might be able to find you some volunteer work at my Japanese employer, proof-reading English correspondence (oh, there's plenty of that work going around). I have an extra desk and there's also extra cubicles.

No, I am not a scary ax-murderer.

[Eddie Echoplex]

Well, I've never been to Japan, but I know that if you wanna live in a place and see the daily life by yourself... Getting lost is the answer :).

No, I don't mean to actually get lost, I just mean, well, grab a cab (or the subway or a bus, since both seem better choices in Japan, so I've heard), pick a destination, see it for a while, then walk away in any direction.

[zobar]

Getting lost is the answer :).

No, seriously, GET LOST... That's how I familiarized myself with the surrounding areas. In my experience, most people are happy to show you on your way. A bank worker even left his post to walk with me a block or two in order to direct me to my destination. You never know what you can find just by wandering around the city (or suburbs, where I live). I've found many a tasty hole-in-the-wall ramen shop in this way. Not only that, but you get to see all the citizens in action: children playing, old men struggling to cross the street, little punks on bikes, etc. That's daily life for you. Just grab a map (or not... I don't own one), pick a starting point, and commence your journey.

[Nannou]

Yup. First 2 weeks in Tokyo I was never sure where I was. I'd go out for an innocent walk in the morning, and wouldn't return home till about 12 that night, because I ended up in some random corner of Shinagawa and had to find my way back. Ah those were the days.

[Comazon]

Take a few midday lessons at an Eikaiwa with the old housewives, then go shopping and coffee with them and listen to them gossip.

Lol, having english conversations with old housewives...umm...tempting....yeah... :sarcasm:

EDIT: Actually an Eikaiwa might not be such a bad idea, but aren't there other people at those than old housewives (like people more my age)?

Oh, and about the getting lost thing, I think that's good advice. My sense of direction and map-reading skills are absolutely zero, so I don't even have to try to get lost. It'll just happen (I'm not joking, they're pathetic :gloomy:).

Thanks for the replies!

Got more suggestions? Please post...

[Nannou]

your best bet is to hang out with the Japanese people that you met on your trip then. They will give you the best experience of Japan.

You may not be the partying/clubbing type. but that can be one of the best ways to make friends/potential tour guides. Most people are really happy to take you around the sights if they are know you are interested.

If someone ever came to my hometown in NZ and asked me to show them around...I know I'd be more than happy to. I love showing people stuff.


How will you know if you want to live in Japan?

Because when you go to leave.... you will go "fuck yeah, I'm totally coming back here to live"

[zobar]

Oh, and about the getting lost thing, I think that's good advice. My sense of direction and map-reading skills are absolutely zero, so I don't even have to try to get lost. It'll just happen (I'm not joking, they're pathetic :gloomy:).

Oh no, believe me, I can relate. I think sense-of-direction must be some kind of innate ability which I do not possess. But yeah, try stepping out your door and just... go. Once you finally get home after a few hours or many of aimless wandering (this happens to me even during casual strolls down the street), the triumphant feeling you get inside feels good, doesn't it?

And if you're not too shy, try making friends on the train. My Persian friend (I emphasize the fact that he's Persian because a lot of everyday Japanese people stare at him wherever he goes) turned a couple of 5-minute conversations into lasting friendships, but then again, he's the type who--regarding other people--literally pushes until he gets what he wants.

[zobar]

Also, I don't know about you, but I don't mind drinking almost every night of the week... I think nomihodai at an izakaya can be a real bonding experience. Sometimes.

[PopCulturePooka]

Also, I don't know about you, but I don't mind drinking almost every night of the week... I think nomihodai at an izakaya can be a real bonding experience. Sometimes.
Fucking A right!

[hanacker]

You could hit those internet meeting sites hard for a while before you go and hope you build up a few connections with people in Japan.

[jindojim]

And if you're not too shy, try making friends on the train.
Bad idea.

I think nomihodai at an izakaya can be a real bonding experience. Sometimes.
Good idea.

Karaoke can be fun too. Nomihodai + Karaoke = instant friendship

EDIT:
Getting lost is the answer.
Yah...umm...get lost within reason. One time, when I was studyin at ICU 2 years ago, I came back from an allnighter in Shibuya the 2nd weekend after I got to Japan. The 1st train did not stop at the usual station I got off at, but the one after it. I was in a bit of a panic, and I stupidly thought that I could walk back to campus. To make a long story short, I ended up walking for like 1.5 hrs in the opposite direction from the campus and then 2.5 hrs walking around searching for the campus. In the process, I got to practice asking for directions numerous times in Japan and got familiar w/ not only my station area but the next 2 stations over as well. The cost: I almost died from exhaustion and could not have felt more happier when I finally collapsed into bed at 12pm.

[mikem]

Okay, let me sum up my situation.... [...] I have no urge to go clubbing or partying.

There's a million reasons to come to Japan of course, but I'm curious what you want to come here for? How do you expect to make friends?

Japan is going to be a very lonley place for you if you don't already have the ability to create a social life out of thin air.

I want to see and hang around with Japanese living out their daily lives.

There is nothing special or interesting about daily life here. What do you want to accomplish? Daily life is a necessary evil, but its what happens the rest of the time that keeps me here.

Maybe I could phrase my question like this...How would I know if I want to live in Japan?

Spend an entire day walking around Japan by yourself. Most likely you'll be basically ignored all day especially if you hide any Japanese ability. If that doesn't bother you, then you'll probably survive here.

Now spend another day doing the same thing, but attempt to start conversations with people you see in stores, Starbucks, whatever. My personal favorite is to ask people for information I don't need. If you need specific tips I can elaborate. Anyway, even if you just have a five minute conversation with people you'll never see again you'll have have the other skill you need to survive here.

Everything is the same old thing as back home, just in another language. Can't find something in the store? Ask someone. Lost? Ask for directions. Bored after work? Go to Starbucks and hit on women. Or if that's not your thing there's always the green tea and onsens.

[PopCulturePooka]

On my second ever day in Japan my room-mate took me to Shibuya. We had lunch at Shakeys. After that he went to check some vinyl shops, I went to a netcafe. When I was done I couldn't find my roomie. I was lost. In Shibuya. No idea how to get to Hachiko. No Language ability. When I finally found the station I was lost and didn't know how to find the line home.

From the moment I left the net cafe to the time I got home I was lost alone in Shibuya for 4 hours. I went shopping. I checked out shops, got myself dinner.

And I fell in love with that place. And I knew that I could hack Japan.

[Comazon]

There's a million reasons to come to Japan of course, but I'm curious what you want to come here for? How do you expect to make friends?

Japan is going to be a very lonley place for you if you don't already have the ability to create a social life out of thin air.


You make it sound as if clubbing is the only way to make friends in Japan (God help me if that's the case). I'd like to think I have a decent amount of friends here in Cali, and NONE of them are the late-night partying kind of people. I'm not dumb enough to expect some random Japanese person to walk up to me and say, "Hey, let's be friends," but I was just hoping there'd be a different way to meet some people.

I don't know exactly how I would make friends in Japan. Where I am now it isn't THAT difficult, since I meet a lot of people through school (where pretty much all my friends come from). If I live in Japan, maybe work (or school, if I go there) wouldn't be a bad way. As for how to make friends the month I'm on vacation, I'm open to suggestions.

I can definitely see that clubbing is a good way to meet people, but I just don't think it's for me. What do you recommend I do? How do you propose I change myself in order to actually enjoy late night drinking, loud music, and dancing? If I don't change my "wicked ways", am I destined to remain friendless with people my own age, wasting my life locked in my apartment watching 40-episode long Naruto marathons on my computer (for example :worried:)?


There is nothing special or interesting about daily life here. What do you want to accomplish? Daily life is a necessary evil, but its what happens the rest of the time that keeps me here.


Now that's something I'd like for you to expand on please. What does happen the "rest of the time"? Are you referring to vacations? If you're referring to clubbing, then if you do it every day, or even once a week consistently, I would tend to consider that "daily life" for you. What's so special in Japan that you can't do anywhere else?




Spend an entire day walking around Japan by yourself. Most likely you'll be basically ignored all day especially if you hide any Japanese ability. If that doesn't bother you, then you'll probably survive here.


Good advice, albeit a tad depressing. Thank you.


My personal favorite is to ask people for information I don't need. If you need specific tips I can elaborate.


I think I understand. More good advice. Thanks.


Everything is the same old thing as back home, just in another language. [...] Or if that's not your thing there's always the green tea and onsens.


Heh, I just thought that was a bit contradictory. I get what your saying though!

Thanks for the post!

[japanat]

I think a month in Tokyo, not working, wandering around, would be great! It would not, however, resemble living in Japan in the slightest.:hat:

If you think you might enjoy it, take the plunge! Get one of the eikaiwa jobs that everyone is always ranking on, and take a year. If you like/love it; well, you can continue, or resign and look for better work. If you hate it, it's only a year.:gloomy: If you really hate it, just get on a plane home and don't look back.:gangster:

I did it, found my wife, and am still here (and still trying to decide how long I want to stay - "It's just a year..." - 16 times, so far). My friend did it, and was on a plane home in 3 mos. There's no way to know until you just do it. Some of my students are still in the US/Australia/Indonesia/Mexico, etc. One came home from small-town Illinois after 3 weeks, just couldn't handle the open spaces and lack of regimentation.

[Varia]

Yeah if you want real daily life you're going to have to be in Japan for longer than a month and are going to have to know a lot more Japanese.

Other than that, just go around and meet people. Don't try to befriend everybody, just meet people. Sometimes things go well, and sometimes things don't. The important thing is to establish some sort of relationship with the people you come across.
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[Scott]

Not true. A month is long enough to fall into a 'daily life' routine, and he doesn't need to know Japanese to have a daily life. As a matter of fact, his daily life will probably consist of a lot of wishing he did know Japanese and dealing with the difficulties stemming from the fact that he does not.

[Varia]

I guess it depends on what his definition of daily life is.
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[Scott]

I figured that it would be "daily life as I would experience it if I were to move to Japan". I mean, it doesn't do anyone much good to try to experience someone else's daily life.

[Comazon]

As a matter of fact, his daily life will probably consist of a lot of wishing he did know Japanese and dealing with the difficulties stemming from the fact that he does not.

Oh....goody... :gloomy:

I figured that it would be "daily life as I would experience it if I were to move to Japan"

Yep, that's pretty much all I can ask for (despite my A+ mad Japanese posing skillz :rolleyes:).

As of right now, I see absolutely no way I can stay in Japan for a year ANYTIME soon. The only time I can go are breaks from school. If I have fun this time, I sooo want to go to Hokkaido come summer break (I'm too wimpy in hot weather to go anywhere else).

[Scott]

Hokkaido? The sticks. >.>

Well, what do you expect? You're living in a very homogenous country that uses a syllabary and character system basically incompatible with the roman alphabet. Most of the stuff is going to be written in Japanese, especially if you're not in a major international city like Tokyo.

This includes things like menus.

[Comazon]

Well, what do you expect?


Probably just that. I just don't like to be reminded about how hard it's going to be, that's all :boggled:.

I at least know hiragana, katakana, and a lot of basic sentences, which is a (weak and pathetic) start. My kanji knowledge....ummm....not so good.

I still have 3 months to cram my brain full of Japanese, all the while foolishly believing that I'll learn JUST enough to get by.

So until I go to Japan and experience my inadequacies first-hand, don't burst my bubble! :bang:

Anyway, you're right. I will go, and my Japanese will suck. At least I will be in Tokyo for a large amount of the time, since I found several REALLY nice people who will let me crash with them (yay to kindness for gaijins!). So all I can do is hope that softens the blow a little...

[Scott]

Kanji are pretty important. Menus, for example, are written in kanji. Kanji are also what allow you to pick words out of long sentences in lieu of spaces.

You need to know how hard it will be so you can prepare that much more. It's better to be overprepared than underprepared and overwhelmed.

[mikem]

You make it sound as if clubbing is the only way to make friends in Japan (God help me if that's the case).

It's not. However, I think some sort of group activity probably is. My roommate for example goes lindy hop (swing) dancing. Not the greatest example because that still involves clubs, but its a bit more social because people expect you to introduce yourself.

If I live in Japan, maybe work (or school, if I go there) wouldn't be a bad way.

School is an awesome way. Work hasn't been a good way for me, but our office is small.

As for how to make friends the month I'm on vacation, I'm open to suggestions.

Starbucks in Roppongi ... but you are going to have to make the effort.

If I don't change my "wicked ways", am I destined to remain friendless with people my own age, wasting my life locked in my apartment watching 40-episode long Naruto marathons on my computer (for example :worried:)?

There's a heavy drinking component to Japanese culture that's for sure. I was more curious what your social plan is. If your life ends up being nothing but work and being alone at your apartment you'll go pretty crazy.

What does happen the "rest of the time"? [...] What's so special in Japan that you can't do anywhere else?

Daily life: Wake up. Go to school. Go to work. Do errands. Sleep.

The rest of my time is haning out with people. Shopping, clubs, bars, izakaya, karaoke, poker, amusement parks, baseball games, snowboarding, etc. In Japan I can speak, hear, and use Japanese every day. Also, I find a much higher percentage of the girls attractive here, mostly due to the fact that they are very thin.

In any case the "tourist" stuff is the fun stuff. If you make some Japanese friends then you might get invited to the more normal entertainment venues, but none of them are fun alone.

I wouldn't sweat the daily life. If you are there a whole month by yourself and aren't dying to get back home then you probably don't have much to worry about.

[erbiumfiber]

You can get by in Tokyo with very little Japanese. Example: Walk into supermarket, put items in cart, walk to checkout, pay. Go home, cook, and eat. Repeat as necessary. Mostly I have found if I go to stores, pick things out, and pay for them people will not try to start a conversation.

When I came I knew nothing, not hiragana, not katakana, and certainly not kanji. I knew English and patents, which was enough for work. I made friends through work. I believe PopCulturePooka has said that he never really became good at Japanese, yet he seems to have had a happy and productive couple of years.

I also joined an English-speaking church, and met people there.

If you end up where you need more Japanese, you'll learn it. Necessity is a big motivator.

Hey, how many immigrants wander into the US each year with no clue about English? And yet they survive.

I also found when I needed tickets or anything to write down the dates and times and how many- hand to clerk with "onegaishimasu." Taxis? Shinjuku eki, onegaishimasu. It's like s'il vous plait in French. You come off as a polite foreigner who can't speak the language.

Sure, if you've got four years of college Japanese under your belt things will be a lot easier. But you can survive, whatever your level. :clap:

[Comazon]

To Scott:

Though I may not seem like it, I'm knowledgable enough about Japan to know how truly ignorant I am (I know that doesn't make sense, yet does in a way). I am well aware of how kanji is used in Japan, and I didn't believe for one second that knowing hiragana and katakana alone would suffice when reading...well...pretty much anything.


To mikem:

I really do appreciate your input. I'll just come out and say it, I'm a rather shy person (as if I didn't really make that obvious enough). That's why going clubbing or something seems way out of my league for the current me. I realize that's an issue that pertains to any culture, not just Japan. It's true I don't drink much either, but I can force down a drink and pretend to like if worst comes to worst.

You want to know what my Social Plan is? Shoot, I'd like to know too. I want to make friends in Japan, but I'm not aggressive enough to get them.

Chances are I'm not going to do any schooling in Japan either, effectively killing more ways to make friends (this of course assuming I like Japan enough to live there anyway).

I did notice, however, that you said you play poker. I LOVE poker! I didn't think it was very big at all in Japan (I know it's popular in other parts of Asia and Europe). I'm guessing your referring to just home games with your friends, or maybe online (that's how I play). I just wanted to bring that up. Go poker! :karate:

[mikem]

You want to know what my Social Plan is? Shoot, I'd like to know too. I want to make friends in Japan, but I'm not aggressive enough to get them.

At a minimum you would need to figure out things you can do that will allow you to make friends in ways that you are already comfortable with. In my case I just make an effort to be more outgoing.

Based on the dozen exchange students I knew last semester I would say the ones that were happiest here were the ones good at making friends. The guys who had trouble taking the initiative were the most miserable.

I did notice, however, that you said you play poker. I LOVE poker! I didn't think it was very big at all in Japan.

It isn't very big here. The only place I know here is only for fun. (Though they do have a ranking system and you can win prizes.) The nice thing is it's only 500yen and free soft drinks so its about the cheapest entertainment I know of. Although its a fun place to joke around and learn male Japanese, I don't find it that useful for making friends.

I also play online, but lately I haven't had the time.

[Comazon]

I also play online, but lately I haven't had the time.

And yet you manage to take time from your busy schedule to help me. I'm touched! :joytear:

The guys who had trouble taking the initiative were the most miserable.


I'd definitely buy it. Friends are a good thing to have, no matter where you are.

But enough about how I'm going to be a loner in Japan unless I shape up....my itty bitty heart can't take much more. :worried:

(I say that, yet I'm actually bigger than Azrael). :eyepop:

Thanks for the advice though!

[Nannou]

Don't worry. You'll make friends eventually.
There are tons of Japanese out there that would love an english-speaking friend.

Sure you end up becoming a sort of, english practice doll.... but on the flip-side, they become a sort of japanese practice doll. It's a reciprocal arrangement.

Friends are definately key. You will see so much more of the authentic Japan if you can get a couple of Japanese friends at some stage.
They can take you to the better restaurants, the more interesting bars, the cooler areas of Tokyo. They got the inside knowledge.

My advice would be... don't think about it all so much. Just come over, and then go from there.

Less talky talky, more walky walky bro!

[mikem]

Of course sometimes these friends you make show up when you least expect them too.

And then all hell breaks loose!

:rofl:

[Nannou]

Of course sometimes these friends you make show up when you least expect them too.

And then all hell breaks loose!

:rofl:

*slaps*

haha... oh man. talk about drama
she stayed last night. and made lunch for me today....and I still have NO idea what's goin on in that head of hers :P

on a more random note.... the llittle animated smileys are clapping and banging their head to the beat of my music haha. funny

[PopCulturePooka]

I believe PopCulturePooka has said that he never really became good at Japanese, yet he seems to have had a happy and productive couple of years.

You damn right!

I learnt enough Japanese to get by day to day, eg order food, get cabs home and get girls giggling with bad conversation starters. And I was tehre for 2 years and after the first 2 odd months I loved it and had the best 2 years of my life.