Snakes on a Plane

[smokingmonkee]

Just got back from seeing Snakes on a Plane, and let me say that it truly delivered. The movie was just pure fun.

[Myrsilus]

It's out? Oh snap, I didn't even know. I must go see it now.

[Trump]

Comes out this week. I think the whole premise is just hilarious.

[sushi]

going to see this movie very soon, can't wait.

[Decade]

Drug ring: Check

Asian guy who knows Kung Fu: Check

Snakes: Check

Plane: Check

Samuel Jackson: Check

...what else do you really need?

Oh yea...a tasty beverage.

[Zonehunter1]

i'm going to see it later this week. But i purchased the snakes on a plane soundtrack to get myself prepared.

[Myrsilus]

Hm... I thought it was out already. I've waited this long, so I can definitely wait a few more days.

This movie can not fail.

[Angelyne]

This movie delivered! It was everything I had hoped for and more :clap: :clap: :clap:

...what else do you really need?

Forgot to mention:

Gratuitious nudity + sex scene: Check

"I've had it with these motherfucking snakes!": Check

Snake vision camera angle: Check

Very cheesy one-liners ("Men are good at doing things with only one hand!"): Check


Seriously folks, grab some friends and go see it at the rowdiest theater near you. Part of this movie's fun is laughing at the hilarious death scenes with everyone else, and having the entire audience cheer at Samuel Jackson dropping the F-bomb. It won't be nearly as fun watching it on DVD alone.

[Zslash]

I saw it with a friend not too long ago, I dont regret it one bit. It was a fun ride all the way through. MY friend and I were thinking up possible sequels on the way home like:

Snakes on crack

Snakes on a cruise/boat /cargo ship

If i can sucker my cousins into coming with me I may see it again.

[seiji]

Snakes on crack
You clearly didn't pay attention to the movie! :P

I have two words: harpoon gun.

[Myrsilus]

I have to see this tomorrow... Hope my friends have money to spend.

[Idlethought]

I highly recommend seeing this movie!

One question though, a bit of a spoiler I guess...

Who the FUCK packs a HARPOON GUN?!

[Masa the Masta]

The arsonist flight attendant :rofl:

[Overkongen]

My ophidiophopia ftw.

[NERD]

I'm not a fan for people dying in a gruesome manner, so I was wincing at some parts throughout the movie. It was entertaining, but I'm just wondering, is it really camp if you are trying to make it camp? The setup of the initial plot, not to mention the characters and the one-liners made me think about it.

Well, better than I expected.

[Beowulf]

My girlfriend and I laughed the whole way through. Everyone else in the theater took the film completely seriously. It was both an awesome day and an incredibly sad one.

If you liked Slither you'll love this movie.

[Stephy]

I guess since it is getting many good reviews from op9ers (and a lot of youtube people are commenting it) I will see it too! I like funny videos. :) I hope it is as good as everyone says.

[Masa the Masta]

My girlfriend and I laughed the whole way through. Everyone else in the theater took the film completely seriously. It was both an awesome day and an incredibly sad one.

If you liked Slither you'll love this movie.


...Are you serious? Those people in the theatres must have been idiots then. My audience CHEERED when Samuel L. Jackson dropped the F bomb three times in under 15 seconds.

[Radiance]

Snakes on a Plane is an awesome movie. Take all your friends and go, expect to enjoy yourself not to see a good movie. I was laughing near the entire time. I would be willing to bet SoaP will be the #2 grossing movie of 2006. I would say #1, but i'm not sure it can beat Pirates 2. GO SEE IT! LAUGH HARD! Laugh even harder when people get offended and leave the movie. IT IS A GREAT MOVIE!

[PopCulturePooka]

I guess since it is getting many good reviews from op9ers (and a lot of youtube people are commenting it) I will see it too! I like funny videos. :) I hope it is as good as everyone says.
This makes it even funnier!

[RotoruaBoy]

...Are you serious? Those people in the theatres must have been idiots then. My audience CHEERED when Samuel L. Jackson dropped the F bomb three times in under 15 seconds.
indeed, people gave some round applause for that part, you don't see that everyday in cinema.



All your snakes are bleong to us!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihAoSwQqo44

[Stephy]

This makes it even funnier!

Shush you.

K. It has sex, violence, and gore? Is that what you told me on MSN?

Ugh. Nevermind then :( I guess I should not or would not even be allowed to see it.

[Saitou Hajime]

I would be willing to bet SoaP will be the #2 grossing movie of 2006. I would say #1, but i'm not sure it can beat Pirates 2.

No way. This movied bombed on its opening weekend.

[Vincent "Mikado" Logan]

Best. Movie. Ever. Of all time.

45724623 Oscar Nominations. I see it coming.

[RotoruaBoy]

Best. Movie. Ever. Of all time.

45724623 Oscar Nominations. I see it coming.
including nomination like "best snake performance","best plane performance"and "best use of the F word"

[seiji]

...Are you serious? Those people in the theatres must have been idiots then. My audience CHEERED when Samuel L. Jackson dropped the F bomb three times in under 15 seconds.
It was so loud I couldn't even hear the line after "mothafuckin plane!"

My theater also had a little kid (sounded like elementary school, though it might have just been some kid with a really high voice) who yelled "SNAKE!" every time a snake was about to bite somebody. He kept it up for the first dozen or so. I think it really added to the experience.

[Vincent "Mikado" Logan]

I think Disneyland needs a "Snakes on a Plane" ride, where you sit your ass down and wait for Samuel L. Jackson to kick ass.

[ZaichikArky]

just got back from seeing it last night. when I fist heard about it, I hated the idea of such a stupid movie. sure the movie was stupid and nothing about it made sense at all, but it was the best stupid movie I've ever seen. My friends and I all yelled out that famous quote along with Samuel L Jackson when he said it :pp.

[Candyvan Stan]

just got back from seeing it last night. when I fist heard about it, I hated the idea of such a stupid movie. sure the movie was stupid and nothing about it made sense at all, but it was the best stupid movie I've ever seen. My friends and I all yelled out that famous quote along with Samuel L Jackson when he said it :pp.


Haha, I remembered that thread where you were bashing it and I was saying it was art!


I'm glad you agree now.

[Ozero]

next i wanna see "badgerbadgerbadger: the movie"

[ShadowDeth]

It wasn't that great. I don't think it's going to become a kvlt movie like they wanted it to be.

I did enjoy the snake on the dong scene. "Oh shit, I got snakes on my DICK!"

[ZaichikArky]

Haha, I remembered that thread where you were bashing it and I was saying it was art!


I'm glad you agree now.

lol. yes, I was wondering if people would remember how I used to bash the movie. I mean, I still think it was stupid, everyone has to agree it was, but it was still really awsome!

[Zonehunter1]

finnally saw it. Now i know that all my video game playing might one day help me land a plane.
Penny arcade was very right in one sense....

[Saitou Hajime]

So I was at the book store today... and near the registers I saw a book called "Snakes On A Sudoku: The Official Movie Puzzle Book".

...

[Plekto]

Stupid movie. Typical C-movie crap like watching old Godzilla. Fun in that way.

OTOH - the entire thing fails even the most rudimentary reality test.


Still, fun to watch. :)

[haterllnation]

^ I thought I was alone. Though, there's no way in hell was I paying 10US to see this like when I got fooled into seeing Jeepers Creepers. I'll wait and let one of my buster friends rent it and get drunk and watch.

[RotoruaBoy]

Stupid movie. Typical C-movie crap like watching old Godzilla. Fun in that way.

OTOH - the entire thing fails even the most rudimentary reality test.


Still, fun to watch. :)
well it is not exactly art, but entertainment it is

[Beowulf]

...Are you serious? Those people in the theatres must have been idiots then. My audience CHEERED when Samuel L. Jackson dropped the F bomb three times in under 15 seconds.
Very serious. I cried a little it was so funny at times, everyone else in the audience was apparently so shocked that they dropped their monocles into their martini glasses...

[Masa the Masta]

Sure took the movie seriously, they did then.

Where'd you watch this from anyway, the hamptons? Oh wait, you're from Oregon.

People in Oregon have no funny bones? :confused:

[Daishikaze]

I'll have you know, I don't wear my monocle to the theater :P

But I also didn't see this thing.

[Beowulf]

People in Oregon have no funny bones?
I'm guessing their just really stupid.

[Daishikaze]

Yeah, I mean It was pure genius to make a stupid movie on purpose...........as opposed to making a stupid movie by accident.....which they tend to do quite a bit.......hmmm

[rameek]

it was cool. dont expect a lot though just enjoy it for what it is... a slightly better b movie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihAoSwQqo44&mode=related&search=

[Masa the Masta]

I think we should make a shitload of movie titles with the word "Snakes" on it.

Snakes in Black
Lord of the snakes: Fellowship of the plane
How Snakes got her plane back
Just Snaked
The wedding Snaker



Oh, and I wrote my first movie review on snakes on a plane.



So. Let me tell you a bit about the back story to this movie. I'm on a set of forums known as the outpostnine message boards, and I got a link to this site where you can actually have Samuel L. Jackson give a PERSONAL phone call to someone, anyone you want, to go see his new movie. Snakes on a Plane.

http://home.comcast.net/~dfosket/snakes_800x600.jpg

Look at Samuel L. Jackson. He means serious business.

Let me tell you that this movie did not allow critics to view it before its showing. After watching the movie, it's pretty apparent why.


http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/8200/ebert.jpg

Look at this man. Look hard. Look past the thick 3 inch spectacles, and the drowsy look of a man who has enough eye baggage to carry all your luggage. Look deeply. This man is a guy who has had all the fun sucked out of him straight out of his ass. I'd look like that too if I had a fun-sucker tube placed into my rectum in order to suck all that is laughter and win in my life.

But I digress. The reason why Snakes on a Plane was not put to death by criticism, was because the fact is, this movie was much more fun than it was a movie that should be taken seriously. Think long and hard at all the cult film classics like Porkys, Jaws, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Imagine having this guy ruin your fun by telling you every reason why the next movie he watches sucks.

Snakes on a Plane had broken every cliche rule in the book. There is no question in my mind, that this movie was intended to be a fun movie.

But anyway, once again I digress. I'm going to TELL you why this movie went to town, came back, and went down in you faster than a thai hooker.

The first scenes of this movie are of the ocean. Y'know, beautiful people having fun. That's great. Next thing you know, you're hit with a title.

Snakes.

...On a plane.

But the way the title comes up, I swear you were watching something a lot more pleasant and boring...like How Stella got her groove back.

Except if Stella were in this movie, her groove would've been a 30 foot anaconda.

So we're taken to this dude. Riding his dirt bike. Drifting. Now the first thing that pops into my mind, is that this guy is driving on a decent mountain road, filled with trees and what not. It's the kind of road I'd say, "Yeah, I'd drive that road. Hard."

Eventually, he stops and he finds some guy being hanged. Upside down, by his feet. You find out that this was the prosecutor to some chinese dude who's got the serious hookup.

For the record, this movie takes place in Hawaii.

Said Chinese guy in terrible villain style proceeds to relish the fact that he's got the prosecutor who can put said chinaman behind bars for life for shit he's done in his clutches. The prosecutor, being y'know, GOD AWFULLY brave, he still manages to spit at this guy. In the face.

You know, if I knew I could get out of the situation alive, I'd you know...bargain for money, loots, perhaps even sexual favors, offer my ass, WHATEVER. No, this guy spits in this asian dude's face.

So unexpectedly, he gets a bat, to the head. This guy becomes a human piñata. And the bad guy isn't even a MEXICAN.

I have no clue what the fuck is going on with this movie. Except somehow this all has to do with Snakes on a Plane.

Eventually, we go back to the dirt biker (Sean Jones), who's seen all of this happen. This asian dude (Eddie Kim) has y'know, 2 bodyguards (because you always have 2 bodyguards, that's the bad guy mobster rule) and starts shooting at him, with guns.

NATURALLY, the guy gets away virtually unscathed, and not shot. Eventually he goes back to his house, only to find out that 3 asian yakuza looking dudes are gonna break in and whack him.

Enter Samuel L. Jackson.

Samuel L. Jackson plays Neville Flynn, an FBI agent. Basically, he takes Sean and gives him the low down on Eddie Kim. (okay, so I realize now that Eddie Kim could in fact be Korean, but this is my first review, fuck you guys)

Eventually, we meet some of the other characters (A rap artist and two of his posse/bodyguards (see? the rule of two, again), two flight attendants, some dog with her bitch..or I mean a dog owner + dog, an englishman, a hispanic mother and her baby, two little kids, a kick boxing chinese dude, just to name a few) and they all head out on this plane.

The snakes manage to get on the plane, by sneaky Eddie Kim getting his henchman as air traffic workers in the orange vests to sneak the snakes on the plane (as if considering the terrorist attacks and the current foiled one could make this story much more believable). Using pheromones, they then spray the flower hawaiian necklaces (leis) with this pheromone, so as to aggrivate the snakes into biting anything and everything...and everyone. The goal I guess is to bring down the plane before it arrives to LAX. Since Mr. Sean Jones was a witness to the crime, they are going to take down an entire plane just to get one guy. And y'know, I think everyone knows who's at work here, so I just really want to know what the FUCK Eddie Kim was smoking before he actually came up with this idea. I can imagine it went something like this.

"Fuck! We need to whack this guy, fuck!"
"Dude, chill! We'll figure it out."
"Yeah, but he's on a plane...with Samuel L. Jackson!"
"Alright alright..well we need to figure out a weakness."
"Hey, I heard black people are afraid of snakes."
"You idiot, EVERYONE'S AFRAID of snakes."
"..."
"Hey guys, listen. I just got this great idea. How about we get like...a shitload of snakes, and just put them on the plane."
"What if we get caught..? You know--"
"Shut the fuck up motherfucker and listen up! We're gonna get some motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"
"Eddie, dude..we've been friends for about 20 years. You even fucked my sister. Seriously dude, listen to reason."

Let's analyze this for a second. He is known to be connected with some serious shit. The prosecutor that was interrogating him was killed, mysteriously. Chances are he left a shitload of clues. And his solution is to kill the witness that saw the guy that was going to prosecute him for some serious shit, by putting some Snakes on a Plane.

What, the fuck.

You know, I wouldn't hire you to do my lawn, Eddie Kim. You'd probably cut grass with a chainsaw.

You know what? I just had a beer, and I don't even FEEL like writing about this movie anymore. I just wanna say this.

The first person or thing to get bitten, is a nipple.

The second person or thing to get bitten, is a dick. And the guy even says, "Fucking snake! Get off my fucking dick!"

Samuel L. Jackson says, and I quote. "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

The good guys get #closed. For saving the flight attendants. From the snakes. They get the loots guys, they get the loots.



And if that's not enough, then look at this.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f6/SnakesOnAPlane_scene.jpg

Did anyone ever watch Nickelodeon? That's fucking Kenan. Fucking, Kenan. He fucking manhandles the plane, and his only experience was Playstation 2 flight simulators. He even says. (And Randy is his brother btw)

"Fuck RANDY. Fuck Randy and his high score, this shit IS my high score."

So listen. If you wanna see tits, snakes, black guys getting scared by snakes, laughs, loots, cliche lines that make you laugh, pyromaniac flight attendants, a hispanic lady sucking off a kid's arm, and gruesome death scenes, this movie is just right for you.

Seriously. Fun.

[Beowulf]

As seriously as the people in my theater took it, it might as well have been titled:

Serpents Within A Dirigible

[ShadowDeth]

Yeah, I mean It was pure genius to make a stupid movie on purpose...........as opposed to making a stupid movie by accident.....which they tend to do quite a bit.......hmmm

Not quite. A movie still has to supply what is promised, in this case - humor.

Seeing Samuel on the screen and knowing he's going to say something self referential isn't really all that funny. It just sounds like an in joke that everyone forgot wasn't funny.

Which was weird, because i'm all about movies that troll the audience, and attempt something few people will get. But I just thought this movie was lame.

[Daishikaze]

I was being sarcastic actually, I should have used tags I suppose, I just thought I was being pretty obvious about it so I didn't need to.

[ellie]

I just saw the movie yesterday. It was ridiculous, but in a good way. I was laughing a lot during it. It was just a good, old fashioned fun movie. And you got to see titties. What's not to love?

[Masa the Masta]

I just saw the movie yesterday. It was ridiculous, but in a good way. I was laughing a lot during it. It was just a good, old fashioned fun movie. And you got to see titties. What's not to love?

Sigged. True motherfucking story, motherfucker. :clap: