When she's already got a BF...

[danielh]

I've got a problem here. This is quite a read, though, beware, confused teenager alert.

I'm 17 seeking an extroverted asian chick who has a bf. I strongly believe that when a chick cheats on you, due to a previous relationship, once a cheater always a cheater,

Well, the chick has been flirting with me, a bit same from me, known her for 3 months but didn't talk to her 1 on 1 til a week ago, where she turned out to be very pleasant to talk to.

she's in a 6month+ relationship, and i've got a yr 12 formal (a prom without preconceived ideas of going wild) coming up, but i haven't got a date, i PLANNED to ask her but due to circumstances (listed below) i've decided not to.

She's got one of those asian gangster type boyfriends who is extremely jealous as she is always open and actively seeks conversations with males.

I asked a friend who's gf is a good friend of hers, and was told that i was a nice, sweet guy, but I don't want to break them up for several reasons: i've done that before and it is not a good position to be in. Also i don't want to associate myself with those gangsters etc because he might kill me if i do. He knows of my existance currently and is extremely jeaous that i talk to her

I really don't know what to do actually. She's very fun to be around with, I want to date her but she's in a relationship right now, I don't want to wait that long for her to become free (have to wait for her to get over). Then again I don't want to be that close to her or else i'd end up in the "Friend Zone". I have yet to get her email, phone number etc and i have my end of school exams in a few weeks so we'll be quite busy. I plan to stay a mysterious friend so that if she's free in the near future i'll be an option so basically I've given up in the short term future.

I'd like to hear from everyone what i should do in terms of inviting her to the formal (as friends), future relationships etc

Thank you for reading this and any advice will be greatly appreciated. It is a kind of weird situation but oh well...to top things off she shares the same first name and last name with my 8 year old sister =/

[Arvynia]

That is weird!

My advice for you: keep it shallow.
Don't go any further with her.

You know, it seems to me that you don't really like her for her. It just seems like you like her because she's fun - it'd be more like a fling to you than something that turns into a real relatinship (I could be completely wrong).

That cheating statement - are you refering to her? If you are and if she is a cheater, why'd you want to get involved anyway?

[Myrsilus]

I agree with Arvynia. You should also be careful if you're trying to impose on their relationship... I know guys like him and if you piss him off enough, you'll be walking on eggshells for a long time.

Really this doesn't seem worth it one bit. Especially since you say she is so flirtatious and supposedly "cheats" during a relationship. A cheater, in most cases, is a cheater forever. I'd look elsewhere buddy.

[danielh]

lol nah i don't think she's cheated before.
i just truly believe in it because of a past relationship where it happened to me.
she's a good looker as well as an outgoing personality which appeals to me, and i'd like to take it to the realtionship level.

[h2orowe]

Don't even bother, it's not worth it. Those asian gangster guys are pussies, so they use weapons, and with weapons, they don't fuck around. You'll either get fucked up bad, or you'll get killed.

I live in a city called "Little Saigon" so I'm used to having asian gangs all around.

[Arvynia]

It just doesn't seem like a very good time.

With you not having the patience to wait for her, shows/tells me that she's not worth it to you.

And then you don't want to get stuck in the FZ.

So keep it shallow. Get away from her. Then come back and pick it up where you left off when she's over her boyfriend - if ever.

[danielh]

thanks for your contribution guys,
if we get into our uni courses, i'll end up doing veterinary science with her for 5 years, i won't be able to avoid her.

The patience only refers to
1) higher chance of ending up at friend zone and
2) formal payments due in next week

i only see her once a week,

but i've taken in your advice guys, she's just not worth it right now. I just don't know what to do, become a good friend (i can see a friendship blossoming) (FZ) or keep that in check and move on to other girls, while I wait for the next opportunity (which can be in months) to pounce.

[Arvynia]

what's your rush? you're only 17. Have fun. You don't need to deal with matters of the heart just yet, especially when you don't quite exactly know what you want. Save yourself the drama, and just go with the flow, don't think too much about things like these.

Besides, as a human, you'll get over it.

[nyanko]

What I think? Don't go for her, but still keep on contact (like loose talking basis). Don't get too close because asian gangsters are always a bad thing (unless they are a poser, but you probably know if that's the case or not) while she's with her bf.

Don't think about it too much, just live your life. You might not think of it, but you are young, and you'll meet tons of other people in your life; she probably may not end up being the one for you. If she breaks up her bf, at least you don't run the risk of being shot just for being a friend.

If anything, she can become a good friend to talk with, hang out, etc since you'll be seeing her for a while anyway. Don't ruin a potential good friendship because you want to go out with her. Like her for being a cool person, not because you want her to be your gf. Girls usually misequate and they might see that you were just trying to be their friend to date them, don't make that mistake.

But anyway, don't worry about it. Get your act together first (academics and activities) because that's more important.

[Bob]

Buy some Rohypnol. Make him squeal like a piggy.

Im not sure if it will will solve your problem, but you should do it anyway

[kensei]

Don't even bother, it's not worth it. Those asian gangster guys are pussies, so they use weapons, and with weapons, they don't fuck around. You'll either get fucked up bad, or you'll get killed.

I live in a city called "Little Saigon" so I'm used to having asian gangs all around.
Out of curiosity, do you have to deal with the Dragon Clan down there?

[Urban~Ninja]

She's got one of those asian gangster type boyfriends who is extremely jealous as she is always open and actively seeks conversations with males.



Same thing happened to me once, but the fact was she didnt a gang member boyfriend, it was a over protective brother, i still wasnt afraid because i have enough frind from GFF (Or whats left of it) and Nomads (Leb Gang who hang around Hornsby) to make sure i wasnt messed with.

I still didnt take it to the next level of asking the girl out i didnt wanna be the cause of a gang war.

If your from Sydney, you should have a fair idea who GFF and Nomads are.

But my advice is just ask her as a friend if your that needing, but dont make any moves, if she does, then thats what she does, and since you year 12, and since you said formal im going to hazard a guess you may go to either Knox, Barker, Shore, Kings, Riverview, Trinity and if thats the case you will have enough people to cover your back, believe me and if your at like Turra/Kuring Gai High you got more then enough.

[AgentOrange]

It's seems like it's just lust instead of actual attraction and wanting girlfriend material. Just let it go but keep contact with her, but do your best to stay out of the FZ.

And most of the asian gangster types are pussies, trust me. They can't handle anything 1 on 1 so if you have any physical skills don't even sweat it. Hell, even if you don't, just let your primal instinct kick in and you'll be fine. I've dealt with plenty of these wannabes and they aren't a real threat.

Just my .02c

[Urban~Ninja]

Exactly what i mean, im not a natural fighter nor em i built like one, and my only good thing is that i can get up from a serious beating. (My Endurance and Pain Levels must be like super-human). Since he lives in Australia, like me, and in Sydney, like me, you'll learn the gangs here are nothing but all talk, they dont enter fist fights its all knifes etc and alot of em wont do nothing to ya unless you like insult them infront of people they no purely out of pride.

So i wouldnt sweat it as i said before.

[JudoPorkChop]

Do what you're gonna. If she's actively seeking other men to talk to and hang with, there is a reason for it. Sure, she could just be extroverted. But also, it sounds like her man is extremely insecure, and with him being a gangster, I think it might be a case of waiting for him to get bored with her so he doesn't flip out and hurt her or anything.

[Urban~Ninja]

Nah i doubt he would flip out, the asian gangsters around hornsby treat their girls like gods and wouldnt touch them if they were pissed, they would yell and rant and rave, but not hit.

[AgentOrange]

Get pumped up by watching an Ong Bak clip, then go whoop his ass. You'll have any girl you want when you hit the dude so hard he forgets math.

Tony Jaa = new Bruce Lee

[Kuhool]

serious, leave it alone, don't be one of those assholes you make a girl cheat on, if it's not love it's not enough to leave a happy home, Amen Pussycat Dolls, amen.

[Psychochink]

And most of the asian gangster types are pussies, trust me. They can't handle anything 1 on 1 so if you have any physical skills don't even sweat it. Hell, even if you don't, just let your primal instinct kick in and you'll be fine. I've dealt with plenty of these wannabes and they aren't a real threat.

Since he lives in Australia, like me, and in Sydney, like me, you'll learn the gangs here are nothing but all talk, they dont enter fist fights its all knifes etc and alot of em wont do nothing to ya unless you like insult them infront of people they no purely out of pride.

OK, maybe it's a simple case of the differences between Adelaide and Sydney, but let's remember the difference between the poseur types and the real gangsters. You want to be careful who you fuck with.

I mean, are we talking tryhard, baggy-panted teenagers who like to swagger around and pretend that they're tough while hanging out in shopping malls?

In that case, yeah, do whatever the hell you want to do with his girlfriend, and dare him to make an issue out of it.

Or are we talking hardcore, Triad motherfuckers who import/export/traffic large quantities of smack/blow/E/etc and who are some seriously scary dudes? I mean, I remember local police trying to get an ID around here based on a back tattoo that they found on a mostly-complete human skin that was chucked in a dumpster. Remember, unlike the Italian or Eastern European organised crime bodies, the Asians have a much lower violence threshold.

Or something in between?

Make a cost/benefit analysis based on the individual, don't overgeneralise - it'll get you killed one day.

[caseylim]

Boy, as 17 years old, don't think about girls. Study, get a degree, get a stable job with some property, and that's the time for you to get girls... maybe the age of 30-35.

if not, start your own gang and beat em up.

if you really can't control and really want her in a safe method then I suggest.... ask her about her boyfriend, know more about her boyfriend first. Try to be friendly with his boyfriend, join the gang. As you know asian gangster value their compatriots more than their girls.

their slogan- friends first, woman/family second.

They would even give their girls to give face to you.

[AgentOrange]

Not trying to sound like a hardass, but I have delt with those types before. They can't do anything on their own and they need their friends to feel safe.

If you're not up to it, don't challenge them, simple as that. More than likely if you challenge one of them and win, you'd better be prepared to fight. They have to roll in packs but their all punks that can't take a hit.

Just wait till the girl is free and interested in you and not him, then swoop in for the kill.

[Urban~Ninja]

Or are we talking hardcore, Triad motherfuckers who import/export/traffic large quantities of smack/blow/E/etc and who are some seriously scary dudes? I mean, I remember local police trying to get an ID around here based on a back tattoo that they found on a mostly-complete human skin that was chucked in a dumpster. Remember, unlike the Italian or Eastern European organised crime bodies, the Asians have a much lower violence threshold.

Or something in between?

Make a cost/benefit analysis based on the individual, don't overgeneralise - it'll get you killed one day.

Yeah like the ones you see aronund the shops are just try-hards and act tough, ive been in a few rolls with try-hards and im still here to talk about it.

THere are like major gangs who are like drug running and piracy and stuff but they are located in the City and are alot more well up profuke, they look like they mean buisness and are noticably different when it comes down to it, one of the guys down where i work (Pizza Hut, Call Center) has had a few runs in with serious gang members and if it wasnt for that whole fact his brothers are gangters aswell he would have been as good as dead a few times.

So yeah we have our serious gangs who are dead trouble but they dont hang in the burbs they hang in the City and you could tell by now if this guy with the GF was a serious guy, he would have done sumthin by now.

[danielh]

this has gotten a bit outta hand, i don't want to be associated nor am i interested with that kind of thing anyway, im happy ot drop things with her altogether. anyways i haven't actually MET the guy, i only know OF him.

Urban Ninja, i go to a selective school, but i know what you mean by the tryhards and all that. they piss me off heaps, its just an act to make them seem unapproachable and change their personalities in front of chicks. When they get older they become their normal selves..but why did they change in the first place? don't know why, maybe because they are too insecure?

yeh, some of these guys are alright if they arent dickheads to males, some are even my friends but if they try to put other guys down then they are pricks. (im not venting my anger cuz of her BF, by no means :P)

[Mr.Babalo]

I've got a problem here. This is quite a read, though, beware, confused teenager alert.

I'm 17 seeking an extroverted asian chick who has a bf. I strongly believe that when a chick cheats on you, due to a previous relationship, once a cheater always a cheater,

Well, the chick has been flirting with me, a bit same from me, known her for 3 months but didn't talk to her 1 on 1 til a week ago, where she turned out to be very pleasant to talk to.

she's in a 6month+ relationship, and i've got a yr 12 formal (a prom without preconceived ideas of going wild) coming up, but i haven't got a date, i PLANNED to ask her but due to circumstances (listed below) i've decided not to.

She's got one of those asian gangster type boyfriends who is extremely jealous as she is always open and actively seeks conversations with males.

I asked a friend who's gf is a good friend of hers, and was told that i was a nice, sweet guy, but I don't want to break them up for several reasons: i've done that before and it is not a good position to be in. Also i don't want to associate myself with those gangsters etc because he might kill me if i do. He knows of my existance currently and is extremely jeaous that i talk to her

I really don't know what to do actually. She's very fun to be around with, I want to date her but she's in a relationship right now, I don't want to wait that long for her to become free (have to wait for her to get over). Then again I don't want to be that close to her or else i'd end up in the "Friend Zone". I have yet to get her email, phone number etc and i have my end of school exams in a few weeks so we'll be quite busy. I plan to stay a mysterious friend so that if she's free in the near future i'll be an option so basically I've given up in the short term future.

I'd like to hear from everyone what i should do in terms of inviting her to the formal (as friends), future relationships etc

Thank you for reading this and any advice will be greatly appreciated. It is a kind of weird situation but oh well...to top things off she shares the same first name and last name with my 8 year old sister =/

i wrote something really nice for you, and i was PRO for fighting for the girl and leaving the b/f in the dust.

but something happened and my internet screwed up, destroying 3 paragraphs.


sigh. i really wish that didnt happen.

[CNagy]

The long and short of it is: don't be a prick and interfere in someone else's relationship. You want to let her know you are interested, fine, but don't actively persue it unless she chooses to break it off with her guy. Don't try to win her away him, because I'll tell you this: a girl that can be won away from her boyfriend can also be won away from you.

[danielh]

yes, "I strongly believe that when a chick cheats on you, due to a previous relationship, once a cheater always a cheater" and "but I don't want to break them up"
mainly because its against ethics, thanks for your input guys, this is all valued.

1) i'm definately not pursuing her
2) now i dunno whether to be good friends or remain concealed from her, but i acknowledge it's totally up to me