Do I stay in Japan or go back to the U.S.

[erbiumfiber]

Hi, minor dilemma facing me. Sort of out of the blue I received a job offer from a former colleague who is now the head of a department in a well-known company. I currently work for a Japanese law firm. They treat me really well, I have 9-5 work hours, have a nice apartment in Tokyo and the work is pretty easy. However, I like to work for companies rather than law firms.

But... my current job is not really furthering my career; as I get older (now 41) I become less marketable (hello age discrimination!). I'm afraid that when I want to go back to the US, like maybe in a couple of years or so, I'll have a hard time finding a job. I came here because in the run-up to the Iraq war NO ONE in my field was hiring. My previous employer had gone belly up in the great telecom debacle of 2002 (when WorldCom died...).

I feel a sense of loyalty to my current employer, so I'd feel like a heel if I left. On the other hand, I have to think of the long term...Also, my daughter chose to go to boarding school in the US rather than return to her school in Tokyo, probably a factor in making me consider this US offer.

So if anyone wants to chime in with any advice/thoughts, it would be greatly appreciated.

[Invictus]

That's a real dilemma. If it were me, I'd probably stay in Japan, but there is your family to consider as well. I've done enough work to know that a corporation is by no means better work than a law firm (though of course you may have your own opinion thereupon).

However, your post implies that you do plan on coming back to the States eventually, so if that's the case, take the Stateside job if it's an attractive proposition. That way you can be close to your daughter (hopefully?) and transition more smoothly out of life in Japan.

[Marblehead]

Which do you like better, the U.S. or Japan? That should be all you need to ask yourself.

[Bobbybirdtree]

I would rather stay in Japan. I don;t know what it's like to have a daughter though. :(

[erbiumfiber]

I like Japan better (for the time being) but have aging parents (father not in good health) and siblings with young children that I hardly ever get to see anymore...

My daughter is 16 so she is off to college (in the UK) in two years, so that shouldn't really influence my decision.

I am concerned about my career however. I don't want to be in the position where this is the only job I can do because I can't ever find another one...

[koku]

There comes a time in everyone's life where they need to be selfish and do what's best for them only. Sometimes you just NEED to truly treat the temporarty minor feelings of others as a tanjent item.

Not taking an opportunity for something new because we are worried how it will look is something we all do. I do it on a smaller scale of course, but sometimes it's important.

Imagine if the situation was the same, but your decision doesn't affect anyone around you. What would you do then? Now if you actually did that, would the side effects really be that bad? People leave jobs for better ones all the time; DON'T let leaving be your reason for staying.

Stay because you feel it's where you're happy or sucessfull. Stay because you feel out of the two choices it's the better one. As people we are all afraid of change. We do something for so long and it works, we become attatched to it, but these consequences are a bit more endagering.

You've voiced a few concerns already. Know what you're getting yourself into on both sides. No one can make the decision for you but also remember no one SHOULD make the decision for you.

Which will you regret more? Which decision gives you more options?

[Ziellos.ein]

^gaijin master of wisdom level 5

[Kustom]

I always live by those words:
"It's better to regret for something you did, than for something you didn't do"

Whatever that may mean in your situation. ;)