NotQuiteNecessary
09-01-2005, 12:52 AM
Several days ago I went to visit my grandmother with my father and sister. That day, I realized something.
My Grandmother is not normal. At all.
I got my first inkling of this when I saw Kill Bill with her on cable. I'm sorry, but your normal grandmother does NOT watch Kill Bill. And laughs when Go-Go gets impaled through the head with a table leg.
Then, later that night I decided to freak myself the out by watching The Grudge. Right around the time when the creepy-ass japanese chick is extending from the ceiling I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump a goddamned mile. I turn around. It was my grandmother's hand, and she was RIGHT. THE FUCK. BEHIND ME. Now, there is one way into this room, and the door is right next to the TV. I would have noticed her, no matter what way she got into the room.
Later on, I was playing Resident Evil 4. It is important that I tell you which Resident Evil I was playing, because, you see, 4 is the only one where you can use a sniper rifle. Now, this was my second playthrough and I had just gotten the weapon. Once I put down the rifle and pulled out a handgun to take out the evil...things coming at me, I hear a voice behind me...'You should kill more of them from afar. They won't notice you that way.' God DAYUM, she snuck in again! And she was encouraging me to attack people from afar! Well that's just SNEAKY!
It was around this time I realized: I was in the presence of a Ninja Grandma. Whether she uses her powers for good, evil, or for herself I do not know, but I do know they scare the hell out of me.
My Grandmother is not normal. At all.
I got my first inkling of this when I saw Kill Bill with her on cable. I'm sorry, but your normal grandmother does NOT watch Kill Bill. And laughs when Go-Go gets impaled through the head with a table leg.
Then, later that night I decided to freak myself the out by watching The Grudge. Right around the time when the creepy-ass japanese chick is extending from the ceiling I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump a goddamned mile. I turn around. It was my grandmother's hand, and she was RIGHT. THE FUCK. BEHIND ME. Now, there is one way into this room, and the door is right next to the TV. I would have noticed her, no matter what way she got into the room.
Later on, I was playing Resident Evil 4. It is important that I tell you which Resident Evil I was playing, because, you see, 4 is the only one where you can use a sniper rifle. Now, this was my second playthrough and I had just gotten the weapon. Once I put down the rifle and pulled out a handgun to take out the evil...things coming at me, I hear a voice behind me...'You should kill more of them from afar. They won't notice you that way.' God DAYUM, she snuck in again! And she was encouraging me to attack people from afar! Well that's just SNEAKY!
It was around this time I realized: I was in the presence of a Ninja Grandma. Whether she uses her powers for good, evil, or for herself I do not know, but I do know they scare the hell out of me.