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Corinthian
08-31-2005, 10:46 AM
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the ffice:smarttags" />Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Discuss
Praetorian
08-31-2005, 10:50 AM
Sunday = Video gaming and anime, not sports.
When you ask me 'what are you thinking about?' you must be prepared to discuss topics such as world domination, anime, psychology or the European Union as a superpower.
Otherwise I agree.
Benaire
08-31-2005, 10:50 AM
This was posted in the old boards .... its like meeting a old friend. Good for a short time but not for a long time.
PopCulturePooka
08-31-2005, 10:56 AM
Sunday = Video gaming and anime, not sports.
When you ask me 'what are you thinking about?' you must be prepared to discuss topics such as world domination, anime, psychology or the European Union as a superpower.
The poor girl that will marry you.
That's old. But it's true.
My favourite quote: "If I can put it down, you can put it up. If you WANT it down, put it up for me."
Praetorian
08-31-2005, 11:05 AM
The poor girl that will marry you.
She'll just have to settle with me liking anime if she wants to marry the sexyness that is me. And quite honestly, who wouldn't?
PopCulturePooka
08-31-2005, 11:06 AM
She'll just have to settle with me liking anime if she wants to marry the sexyness that is me. And quite honestly, who wouldn't?
People who don't like anime?
What if she is into superior grade American cartoons like JLA or the Batman cartoons?
Praetorian
08-31-2005, 11:09 AM
The only good that ever came from America in that regard is the Simpsons, Family Guy and Futurama.
PopCulturePooka
08-31-2005, 11:23 AM
JLA > Anime
Cluey
08-31-2005, 11:30 AM
You gotta love the last one "It's like camping"
kensei
08-31-2005, 11:32 AM
PopCulturePooka =/= Correct
Praetorian
08-31-2005, 11:47 AM
I wholeheartedly disagree.
nice gaijin
08-31-2005, 11:58 AM
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.men use it both ways. be a sport and do something selfless for a change, if you have a hard time with that, pretend you're planning on getting food poisoning soon.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. sorry, sunday is wasted on sports. I'd rather sleep.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.yes it is, it's just not fun.
1. Crying is blackmail.only when you can be extorted.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!ok I agree with this.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.no.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.or the infamous 'cuddle bitches'
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.I won't go into the reasons she has for denying you sex, man.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.if only threads worked that way.
1. If you won't dress like the ffice:smarttags" />Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.formatting error?
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
if you think you're fat your not. if you know you're fat, you are.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the waysmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.safe.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.unless it's opening a pickle jar.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.you're cutting into Law and Order.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.Columbus was a serial rapist. I hope you get lost.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.I see in Pantones, sometimes Toyo shades
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.cause and effect
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.great way to solve problems
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.logical
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.except that.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.neanderthal?
1. You have enough clothes.more than enough
1. You have too many shoes.yes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.and sloping brows form a trapezoid.
nice list, i'm sure you pilfered it from some "big stupid hairy man and proud of it" site. I just felt like wasting a few minutes.
Snake eyeS
08-31-2005, 12:24 PM
I just felt like wasting a few minutes.
And by that you wasted my minutes aswell.. lousy comebacks to things that arent that far from the truth. men for teh win!
1. If you won't dress like the ffice:smarttags" />Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
greedy unfair little bastards....
lol :P. Never realy thought about the toilet seat one. Now i'm more reluctant to put it down.
Cluey
08-31-2005, 02:21 PM
@ Nicegaijin
C'mon, its just a bit of a laugh, dont take it so personally.
h2orowe
08-31-2005, 03:42 PM
The only good that ever came from America in that regard is the Simpsons, Family Guy and Futurama.
Baby Blues, the Brak show, Space Ghost coast to coast, and some others.
Exactly what cartoons did your country contribute?
Oh yeah, and JLA=boringgggggg.
Quote:
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
Columbus was a serial rapist. I hope you get lost.
"columbus was a serial rapist. I hope you get lost"
lol that's good. thanks.
nice gaijin
08-31-2005, 06:25 PM
snake eyes, if this stuff isn't far from the truth, your time deserves to be wasted.
Snake eyeS
08-31-2005, 06:28 PM
its not far from the truth, its a way of saying the things that happen in a relation, with a twist to them. in other words ITS A JOKE.
your the only one who is reaction seriously to this thread, im sure you must have a killer sence of humor...
I wonder what I did with the popcorn... This is gettin' good.
sakana
08-31-2005, 07:53 PM
I like #1 the best :)
Corinthian
08-31-2005, 07:54 PM
LOL...damn
I never actually had it brought to my attention, but now that I think about it...
I can actually think up of multiple examples in my experience for MOST of the items on the list.
Women... are weird, but not too bad I suppose...
Yeah, I never thought about it before either, Paul. But I can apply every one of those to at least one woman I know.
Tssss..
08-31-2005, 10:21 PM
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
lets divide this up. 75% of the time that the toilet is used it is necessary that the seat be down. therefore logically the seat should remain down.
1. Crying is blackmail.
unless you have something worthy of blackmail, its a guilt trip.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
fine. come to me when you want sex and i'll turn you down. thats what your hand is for.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
stop fantasizing about anorexic little girls and you won't be asked.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
yeah....he got lost too. in case any one is wondering this is not india.
akitaka
08-31-2005, 10:30 PM
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
stop fantasizing about anorexic little girls and you won't be asked.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
yeah....he got lost too. in case any one is wondering this is not india.
On 'fat': I suggest a woman not ask this to anyone, and consult a good book to get an educated answer. Otherwise, you are, indeed, asking an opinion (which can go with or against you).
On Columbus: I think that's the point. Men have a tendency to not want help as a natural dominant habit, almost no matter what, though like hell would I waste 20 gallons of precious gasoline, just to fuel my ego.
I think most people who make these things up are too busy asking each other, rather than finding an educated guess/answer. It's silly stuff, though.
Oh. And I DO know what mauve, peach, and sepia are :)
OliveButtercup
08-31-2005, 10:36 PM
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.
heh. Unless I happen to be wearing a mini skirt and stilettos to a baseball game.
Hey, if I wanted that, I'd give a straight answer. Those things don't really bother me, but I think what bothers me the most is women do not give straight answers. Always implication and hinting, you'd think that they trust you enough to speak to you directly.
Whats wrong? Nothing.
Are you gonna wear that out? ... no, I put it on only to take it off
Hey, this won't bother you would it? No. *twitch twitch*
Glitch ErrorWeaver
09-01-2005, 07:01 AM
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
Yes it is. And HE *points down* is the commissioner.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v101/ProfGlitch/supermarket.jpg
mugen
09-01-2005, 04:15 PM
Baby Blues, the Brak show, Space Ghost coast to coast, and some others.
Exactly what cartoons did your country contribute?
Oh yeah, and JLA=boringgggggg.
alfred jododus kwak, atleast thats the dutch name. Dutch cartoon produced in Japan/Korea.. but you still win
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