Tricky Business

[Niff]

So, one of my friends wants to hook up with a Japanese teacher. She's here for a year. We're pretty damn sure she's interested too but.. his is a tricky business, as our school frowns upon most things involving foreign people and relationships. Even exchange students who are the same age as us are slightly tricky to go out with due to school policies. (that's the reason I wanted to know デートしないか in the other topic.. screw the rules.. heehee)

Anywho, what's the way to ask a person if they like a person sexually/would be in a relationship? I've asked her plenty of times in English, but hers isn't exactly perfect, and I swear it gets lost in translation.

This post makes it seem like some kind of lame high school "omg ask her out for me plz plz plz" situation.. and I guess it's not too far from it.. but whatever. Help would be appreciated.

And just so this topic doesn't die immediately, post your experiences with Japanese women/men.

[Crowley]

Student/teacher relationships are always doomed to failure. Give it up.

[Niff]

Well, she's not really a "teacher" anyway, she's basically only in class to spectate and then talk to us after class, etc. It's only a 9 year age difference anyway. :P

Let's just pretend she's an older woman with some complications.

[Tibs]

This thread is made of win.

[羽之助]

Are you in high school? Besides violating student-teacher relationship policies it might also be statutory rape :D If you want to just come out and say it, how about "Nihon ni kaeru mae ni, kimochiii asobi wo futari dake de ippai ippai shimasen ka?"

Or just save your money and go to Thailand.

[Crowley]

Well, she's not really a "teacher" anyway, she's basically only in class to spectate and then talk to us after class, etc.

So she's the opposite of a JET. Thought of how offended a JET would be being described like that? :) Also think of how likely it would be for a female JET to cop off with a student at a high school.

Essentially, forget it.

[Niff]

Are you in high school? Besides violating student-teacher relationship policies it might also be statutory rape :D If you want to just come out and say it, how about "Nihon ni kaeru mae ni, kimochiii asobi wo futari dake de ippai ippai shimasen ka?"

Or just save your money and go to Thailand.

Heheh.. statutory.. I'm 15 (trying to get into the pants of a 16 year old exchange student, it's a challenge sometimes), my buddy's 17, and said teacher is 26.

So she's the opposite of a JET. Thought of how offended a JET would be being described like that? :) Also think of how likely it would be for a female JET to cop off with a student at a high school.

Essentially, forget it.

Yeah, she doesn't really do anything in class. She participates in random activities we do and hangs out with us after. Go figure.

Don't JETs teach chuugakkou/shougakkou students anyway? That's illegal in more ways that one. :P

[羽之助]

If she has a fetish for mid-teenage boys, then he might be in luck. Otherwise she's probably out at night being hit on by 22 to 38-year-old men.

[Niff]

XD

Not in our town. We live in the middle of nowhere.. there are no clubs, hangouts, or anything of the sort here. She's told us she's at her host family's house every night except for Fridays where she has one of those girly talking sessions with some of our other friends.

And about the fetish thing.. I think she does. I've caught her staring where she ain't really supposed to be a few times to random people in my Japanese class. It's a little odd.

By the way, what's "Nihon ni kaeru mae ni, kimochiii asobi wo futari dake de ippai ippai shimasen ka?" mean? Before you return to Japan, something only two people something something won't you? <_<

[羽之助]

Kimochi ii = feel good
Asobi = play.
Ippai = lots.

[MNJetter]

Niff, don't listen to H. You'll get slapped by most women you say that to, unless they're drunk.

Tell your friend to think of it this way. Nine is a small number. But at the moment, it's more than half his age! Put that difference in the other direction, and your friend would be crushing on an eight-year old girl. And the teacher probably sees it that way too, no matter how her looks are being interpreted. Even if she's not an active teacher in the class, she still has a job in education, which means she would be throwing her career away if a teacher/student relationship ever happened. She's not going to do that for a fling with an adolescent foreigner.

[Televisions_Nick]

... neither of you would know what to do with a 26-year-old, sexually OR emotionally. Practice with your peers first.

[Yang]

the 2 post above are right....

if i would be teacher or whatever in foreign country...i wouldn't get involved emotionally with students (ethically is not right, i knew some similar case at my uni and it was pretty bad for both part, student and teacher)...

like MNJ said it could cost her career and turns it into bad experience....is highly probable that she is just looking because she finds everything exotic (i will staring everything if i would be in her shoes either)...and after some time there she will get use to...and maybe won't look anymore...i don't understand why some ppl take "the staring thing" as some kind of potential sign of being interested emotionally...

[Tibs]

i don't understand why some ppl take "the staring thing" as some kind of potential sign of being interested emotionally...

If I could take one guess I'd say lack of experience.

[羽之助]

Shh, MNJ, if he says that he might end up on national news!

On the same line:

JET in next town over is hated by the girls at her school because they view her as competition for the boys. Town is also small and has no bars/whatever. But she has much much better things to do than pick up her STUDENTS. If she really wanted someone, there are the men at her office (just because you're a teacher doesn't mean you spend all your time in the classroom), men emailing her from home, men at the hangout in my city that she comes to every few days.

There's always a chance, yes. In fact, I recall that when I was on exchange, one girl had been to Australia when she was ... 18? 19? and fell in love with her professor who was in his late thirties. But girls going for older men is more common than women in their twenties going after boys in their teens (http://www.lowbright.com/Comics/TheSound/TheSound.htm).

[Niff]

I don't really see her as a teacher.. she's every bit as immature as we are, has no qualms discussing all sorts with us.

Of course, a relationship is far less likely to happen with an older woman than with one of the same age, but there's a chance. When she's out of school (not under school policies anymore.. technically), it's fair game, I say. Nothing will stop him anyway, he's been determined for about a month now.

(note: I am totally going to use that saying sometime.. heehee)

[MNJetter]

Yeah, I feel like I can relate more to my junior high school students than to the other teachers in my class, since in actuality the sannensei are closer to my age than all but two of the teachers. I, as an assistant teacher and not a normal teacher, have no qualms about discussing anything with the other students, and more often than not, I just feel like a student in an older grade than any of them. Yonnensei by default. :D

But that doesn't mean I am even considering a physical relationship with any of them. I will admit, I catch myself mesmerized by faces once in a while. Your teacher probably does too. She has spent her life in Japan seeing foreign faces on movies and television and the covers of cd albums, and even if she's seen them live before, it still doesn't compare to be suddenly surrounded by them. There are almost no Japanese people where I come from in Minnesota, but always having been interested in the culture, I've seen Japanese faces in music videos and movies and stuff. It's a little weird sometimes, and you catch yourself staring because it feels like you've suddenly fallen into a movie. But then after a split second, the world rights itself again.

In the Japanese teacher's case, it's going to be even more different, because she's probably shorter than most of the high school girls, and thanks to years of conditioning by Japanese culture, she probably acts the most immature when around males, be they students or teachers. But I can almost guarantee you, especially if she's only going to be there for a year, she is not interested in a relationship of any kind with any student, even if she finds him attractive. You gotta remember (especially between the ages of 25 and 30), Japanese women get into dating relationships to look for potential spouses. Some will do flings, but a fling isn't enough to throw away a career on, and if she's going back to be a teacher in Japan, or get another teaching job somewhere, she'll still consider herself to be a teacher even after she is released from her contract at your school.

[Niff]

It's not her "career", she's just here for experience apparently.

Now, if I hadn't posted that she was a "teacher", would I get different replies?

[Yang]

It's not her "career", she's just here for experience apparently.

Now, if I hadn't posted that she was a "teacher", would I get different replies?

Wichever were the case, i still thinking that MNJ's opinion still up...

anyway... try to made reports of the case once in a while to see how the thing is going...

[Pierrot le Fou]

No, I'd tell you that your 'friend' is a 17 year-old with a perpetual hard-on due to hormones and no idea how to turn that into something productive with a 26 year-old, unless the 26 year-old is dumber than a stump.

Tell him to go screw someone his age, and to pursue older women once he has a clue of how to go about it without having his friend ask for advice on a message board, yeah?

[Niff]

On a technicality, I was asking for a translation, not advice, but you have a point.

By the way, he's a real person, not a "friend" like many cases on the internet. :P

[Langosta]

Never ask somebody out for a friend.. In this case it might also be the friendly thing to try to discourage him from asking her out himself

Or you could always use Hanenosuke's line from earlier ^^

[Vengro]

And you, and by you I mean Niff, keep conveniently forgeting that if caught, your teacher could go to jail for Statutory rape (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statutory_rape). Funny how most of the women who get caught trying to sneak some of the young dick end up being teachers banging their students and then winning the pregnant game. I think it's safe to say that, if caught, bad things might happen because she is older and she is foreign.

Or look at it this way. If she says "yes" to someone who is significantly younger than she is, just barely below the age of consent (or I guess not depending on the state) it's a good bet that she also probably has some emotional/psychological problems, something I'm sure your friend doesn't want to deal with. No matter how many times you keep saying, "no no, she's not a teacher," that doesn't matter. She's 26 and your friend is only one year older than you. That's like you saying, "No no, I'm not really in high school. I act like I'm in 3rd grade! I can totally go and pick up chicks there."

Like most have been saying, have your "friend" go after someone his own age, or at least a little bit closer to it than 10 years away.

[Niff]

Age of consent here is 16, it's free game. No matter what happens he's going to go for it anyway.. it might sound slightly crazy, but I'm not going to bother talking him out of hit. He's pretty damn determined.

I'll report back here if anything happens. Meanwhile, I shall try and get into the pants of a girl only a year older than me. :D

[stsparky]

So, one of my friends wants to hook up with a Japanese teacher. ... And just so this topic doesn't die immediately, post your experiences with Japanese women/men.

It's doable. But I doubt your friend has the guts to do it. I had a very good time with an American English teacher while finishing High School. And 9 years is nothing. He (or you) have one thing going for you - right out of the box - and that's endurance.

But please post a picture of your teacher - Sparks

PS Best of luck!

[Niff]

Well.. I would post a picture, but I know my actual registered Japanese teacher (who'd probably dob my friend into the school) browses the internet for Japanese stuff ALOT, and I'm not sure if he comes here or not. If it wasn't easy enough to figure out already if he saw this, it'd just make it so much easier with a picture.

She's cute, and I would totally hit that as well, if that's what you wanted to know.

Thanks to your words.. he's going to try something next time he sees her out of class. And I may as well put デートしないか in use some time this week as well. Heehee.

[Langosta]

As a joke, and out of sheer boredom I tried Hanenosuke's kimochi asobi.. But it was met with blank stare and the response 気持ち遊び？
Not sure what that means.. but somebody had to test it out

[Niff]

I'm gonna try it soon, when I meet a Japanese chick I won't be trying to get with. <_<

[MNJetter]

As a joke, and out of sheer boredom I tried Hanenosuke's kimochi asobi.. But it was met with blank stare and the response 気持ち遊び？
Not sure what that means.. but somebody had to test it out

Heehee, that's cute.

Not "kimochi asobi"....that just means "emotional play"

"Kimochi ii asobi" (emphasis on the "ii") means "playing around that feels good".....a pet word for sex.

[stsparky]

Heehee, that's cute. Not "kimochi asobi"....that just means "emotional play" -- "Kimochi ii asobi" (emphasis on the "ii") means "playing around that feels good".....a pet word for sex.

Kids! Wife says it's bad Japanese not naughty Japanese so try saying 'Boyfriend nauritai' - I want to be your boyfriend —

ボーイフレンド　ニナリタイ

If you want to try for witty and naughty you could always go for a bilingual pun instead. Try “Kampai!!” as it means "Bottoms up!" and mime giving good oral sex ... it has never failed me when the mood is right ...

Keep your plans simple and honest, Sparks

[MNJetter]

Kids! Wife says it's bad Japanese not naughty Japanese

Hey, don't quote me for that one, take it up with Hanenosuke for coming up with it in the first place. :P

I was just correcting the corruption of the original.

Besides, "boyfriend ni naritai" isn't a grammatically proper substitute for a pet word for sex. One's a noun, and one's a verb phrase. It sounds really strange if you substitute it in its original context...."Nihon ni kaeru mae ni, boyfriend ni naritai wo futari dake de ippai ippai shimasen ka?"

"Before you go back to Japan, why don't we do lots and lots of I want to be your boyfriend just between the two of us?"

[stsparky]

... I was just correcting the corruption of the original. Besides, "boyfriend ni naritai" isn't a grammatically proper substitute for a pet word for sex. One's a noun, and one's a verb phrase. It sounds really strange if you substitute it in its original context...."Nihon ni kaeru mae ni, boyfriend ni naritai wo futari dake de ippai ippai shimasen ka?"

"Before you go back to Japan, why don't we do lots and lots of I want to be your boyfriend just between the two of us?"

You have my trust and respect. I'm cool with you, but 'boyfriend' coming from a hormone challenged teen to an adult Japanese sexpot sounds 'cuter' -eh? Or he could rent FLCL and ask her to watch it with him? Furicuri was slang for 'fooling around' I believe ...
http://www.animenfo.com/image/anime_166.jpg

Trust me, many a lad is 'hot' for teacher ... Sparks

[羽之助]

日本に帰る前の短い間に、（名前）姫のボーイフレンドになっていいですか？
Nihon ni kaeru mae no mijikai aida ni, (name)-hime no booifurendo ni natte ii desu ka?

In the short time before going back to Japan, may I be (her name)-princess's boyfriend?

Now THAT would be cute.

And bows to your wife, Sparky. Kimochi ii asobi is way past naughty. Direct and to the point, though.

[MNJetter]

You have my trust and respect. I'm cool with you, but 'boyfriend' coming from a hormone challenged teen to an adult Japanese sexpot sounds 'cuter' -eh?

Indeed. Which is why I warned him against using it in my first post. ;)

[Pierrot le Fou]

With a pelvic thrust: "やろうか？" (Let's get it on)

No chance of success. But then again, this is a failing enterprise from the start, so you may as well go down proudly in flames while pelvic thrusting away.

[Scott]

So long as it isn't his (friend's?) pelvis that's going down proudly in flames.

[羽之助]

No, that would be this guy I know at a DJ party last month.

[stsparky]

Betcha he strikes paydirt?

[koku]

Whatever heppend to "I wanna do you school bus."

Also, I don't see why no one in this thread just gave him the weapons to do it. Let him (or his friend) get themselves into this mess. They're young.

[羽之助]

I don't know. The girls really loved it when he lit his pubic hair on fire. But then, they're easily amused.

[Akagaminosteven]

I feel so underappreciated. When I set my pubic hair on fire, no one was impressed. :worried:

[MNJetter]

I knew a guy in high school who singed off one of his eyebrows while messing around with fireworks. Now that was impressive pyrotechnics. Impressive that he didn't lose an eye along with the brow, that is. He had to shave the other eyebrow for almost a year while the singed one grew back. :D

[mikem]

Why not go with the age old classic.

朝のコーヒーを飲みませんか。

Probably would want an 一緒に in there for more effect though.

[koku]

I knew a guy in high school who singed off one of his eyebrows while messing around with fireworks. Now that was impressive pyrotechnics. Impressive that he didn't lose an eye along with the brow, that is. He had to shave the other eyebrow for almost a year while the singed one grew back. :D


I know someone who burned both of his eyebrows in high school and now has none. Well....they're barely there, that's for sure.

[MNJetter]

I know someone who burned both of his eyebrows in high school and now has none. Well....they're barely there, that's for sure.

Heh. That would be absolutely hilarious if my friend's eyebrow had never grown back either. He would have to shave one eyebrow for the rest of his life. :rofl:

[koku]

Wow. You're evil.

[japanat]

sensei to shitai. or ettchi shimasenka?

Why try to ask romantically when, if she were to be interested, I would assume it's the bonk she wants, not romance? Older woman, younger man (boy) is extremely rare for Japanese, unless they're married women looking for a f..kfriend.

[stsparky]

One gathers she is a typical Japanese 25 year old who doesn't know how sexy she is. And yes, I think I mentioned she'd be flattered by the attention. I say the hopeful Romeo strikes paydirt if he has any social skills at all.