The other way around

[I Monkey]

I've been studying Japanese on my own for over a year and a half now. And because I didn't had anyone to talk with in Japanese, my Japanese was becoming crap so I planned to quit at the beginning of this school year. And at the beginning of this school year, an exchange student from Okinawa joined my class!! What a coincidence!

So I talked to her alot in Japanese and helped her out learning Dutch(yeah, I'm a Vietnamese guy living in Holland) and inform her about the school system. Her English wasn't really good either so I ended up being the translator for the teachers and my classmates. After a few months her Dutch still wasn't good at all. An other exchange student who I met later in Amsterdam(also on the same exchange programme) was the opposite! His Dutch was already really good and so was his English(his English already was). So I blamed myself for talking to her in Japanese all the time.
So one day, I asked her if she prefered me talking Japanese to her or me talking Dutch to her. So she said Dutch.

So now, I don't dare to talk Japanese to her anymore because I'm afraid she thinks I only want a "free Japanese lesson". "Why are you thinking this?" I hear you guys ask. Well... It's because I read alot about people who have been or are in Japan for a long time complaining about Japanese people speaking English to them. And they think it's annoying.

So do you think Japanese people think this way also? Sorry for the long story btw:whoops:

[InThane]

Well, you're helping her, and she can help you. Work out an agreement with her that on certain days of the week you'll only speak Dutch, and on other days of the week you'll speak Japanese. This way you're not getting "free" lessons - you're trading your knowledge of Dutch for hers of Japanese.

That's the model we're using at my college (in theory - in practice there are 4 native English speakers to ~20 foreign students) in the Language Partners Program.

[Crowley]

Sounds sensible. Work it as an exchange, otherwise it's unfair.

[kilreli]

I've been studying Japanese on my own for over a year and a half now. And because I didn't had anyone to talk with in Japanese, my Japanese was becoming crap so I planned to quit at the beginning of this school year. And at the beginning of this school year, an exchange student from Okinawa joined my class!! What a coincidence!

So I talked to her alot in Japanese and helped her out learning Dutch(yeah, I'm a Vietnamese guy living in Holland) and inform her about the school system. Her English wasn't really good either so I ended up being the translator for the teachers and my classmates. After a few months her Dutch still wasn't good at all. An other exchange student who I met later in Amsterdam(also on the same exchange programme) was the opposite! His Dutch was already really good and so was his English(his English already was). So I blamed myself for talking to her in Japanese all the time.
So one day, I asked her if she prefered me talking Japanese to her or me talking Dutch to her. So she said Dutch.

So now, I don't dare to talk Japanese to her anymore because I'm afraid she thinks I only want a "free Japanese lesson". "Why are you thinking this?" I hear you guys ask. Well... It's because I read alot about people who have been or are in Japan for a long time complaining about Japanese people speaking English to them. And they think it's annoying.

So do you think Japanese people think this way also? Sorry for the long story btw:whoops:

it may be alright at first, but it will only end up hurting her for sure. immersion is the best way. if she needs help with some words or something, then okay give her the translation. if you say something to her and she asks you to repeat it once more, but slowly, dont i repeatDONT repeat it in Japanese. that pissed me off to no end with my host parents. i wouldnt understand one part of the sentence cause how fast they talked, then when i asked them to repeat slower, they went in english.

im not trying to be a bastard, but she came to your country to learn your language, not to teach you. please do your best to help her with dutch. as a current exchange student, i know that speaking in japanese to her a lot will only hurt a lot in the future, even if she doesnt realize it now. good luck, and do your best. your probably her best way to learn right now, so do your best for her. i know she'll be really appreciative.

[I Monkey]

At the beginning, I was the only person she talked to. She managed to make some other friends now. So she's speaking Dutch to them.:)

"if you say something to her and she asks you to repeat it once more, but slowly, dont i repeatDONT repeat it in Japanese. that pissed me off to no end with my host parents. i wouldnt understand one part of the sentence cause how fast they talked, then when i asked them to repeat slower, they went in english"

Haahhaha thank god I didn't do that. Well... the truth is, she won a scholarship so she didn't come to Holland to learn Dutch. She actually told me she doesn't have any interests in the Dutch language but since she'll be here for a whole schoolyear she'll have to learn it.

About the other exchange student I met with in Amsterdam. He actually likes me to speak Japanese to him but I'm not sure if he's just being friendly or that he truly likes me to speak japanese to him.

Thanks for the replies btw :)