How do you stay safe?

[TygressVirgo]

Lately, I have been reading many articles about women who have been date raped, raped, attacked, molested . . . the list goes on. I wanted to ask the brilliant women of this site how do you stay safe? How do you protect yourself form these dangerous situations?

I've got a couple of things i'm putting together, but I'm still working on it. I'll post them in a little later in this thread.

I really think that a discussion would be a wonderful tool for all of us. We have younger posters and older ones with vast ranges of expierences. It should be an interesting discussion.

*edit* Guys are welcome too :calvin: :D .

[Jay]

I generally make it a point to hang around with chicks on our way home from wherever during the night.

Get a big guy to walk along with you so you'll feel safe. :D

[Praetorian]

Lately, I have been reading many articles about women who have been date raped, raped, attacked, molested . . . the list goes on. I wanted to ask the brilliant women of this site how do you stay safe? How do you protect yourself form these dangerous situations?


A thread by women for women, even though three out of the above four happen to men just as much if not more so (in the case of attacked and molested) than to women whilst outside.

Sorry, just had to point that out. But of course, I shouldn't be posting here because this thread was only meant to replied to by the brilliant women of OP9. Silly me.

[gyoza]

I generally make it a point to hang around with chicks on our way home from wherever during the night.


No wonder there are so many women who get attacked/molested/date raped.

[TygressVirgo]

Yes, I love my guy friends. They are all so protective.

Its the times when they are not around that make me nervous.

[TygressVirgo]

A thread by women for women, even though three out of the above four happen to men just as much if not more so (in the case of attacked and molested) than to women whilst outside.

Sorry, just had to point that out. But of course, I shouldn't be posting here because this thread was only meant to replied to by the brilliant women of OP9. Silly me.


I didn't mean for it to be just women! Thanks for pointing that out.

[Jay]

No wonder there are so many women who get attacked/molested/date raped.

Oh get fucked, you bastard! :D

[TygressVirgo]

:rofl:

goyza . . . that's not right

[Jay]

Its the times when they are not around that make me nervous.

Much as I hate to say it because it's my fellow man I'm referring to, kick him in the nuts and he'll go down like a sack of shit.

When you're being attacked by a rapist, there IS no line between clean and dirty.

[gyoza]

Oh get fucked, you bastard! :D

Why thank you for the well wishes. :D

IRT topic: In general, and this applies to guys as well as girls, if you're in an area you're not very familiar with then always be sure you have company. Someone you know well and trust would be nice.

Date rape is a bit different because obviously you wouldn't bring company on a date unless you're very very evil. Hmmm... :watson:

[Beowulf]

The best defense a woman can have is a can of mace and a cellphone with 911 on speed dial.

[TygressVirgo]

Much as I hate to say it because it's my fellow man I'm referring to, kick him in the nuts and he'll go down like a sack of shit.

When you're being attacked by a rapist, there IS no line between clean and dirty.

Of course there is no line between clean and dirty fighting in that situation.

AND MEN ARE SO WELCOME TO POST IN THIS THREAD!!!!!!!

i'd rewrite the entire first post if i wasn't feeling so lazy.

[TygressVirgo]

The best defense a woman can have is a can of mace and a cellphone with 911 on speed dial.


I'd be afraid I would accidently dial it when there wasn't an emergency.

But yes that is a wonderful suggestion, for anyone tho.

[No_]

I never get scared when I walk home alone at night and meet a man...
And why should I?
It's stupid but I'm more afraid of monsters and vampires ;)
Against men, at least I know what I'm "fighting"...
The times men have been... "not so nice" to me I've either kicked them in the groin och just yelled at them untill they leav me alone..

[Collapse]

Just bring knives, really.

[shimanotaka]

Not long ago, I saw that somebody suggested that every woman should get a dog to be safer. I also read about a woman that was saved from a rapist by her dog. It almost chomped the guys dick off. So dogs work, as long as you don't get one of those small yappy fuzzballs.

[PopCulturePooka]

When it comes to online safety I tell my female friends not too talk to sleazy guys who insist on sending their dick picks and badgering girls for revealing pics.

[Shishio]

Common sense.

[mamba]

When it comes to online safety I tell my female friends not too talk to sleazy guys who insist on sending their dick picks and badgering girls for revealing pics.

so stay away from jay then.

[PopCulturePooka]

so stay away from jay then.
OMG really?

:eyepop:

[Roxie]

"Stranger Rape", the most idealized form of the crime is rare.
"Acquantiance Rape", a girl being raped by some one she knows and trusts (to some degree) is MUCH more common.

It's not the strangers you should worry so much about (don't get me wrong, knowing how to defend yourself is golden no matter what), but your friends, your dates, your relatives, your neighbors. How do you protect yourself from that?

[h2orowe]

How do you stay safe? Flock to Joey. I'll protect you.

[h2orowe]

OH also, Option 2 is stay the fuck away from Jay. If Jay lived in America, as opposed to ass fuck nowhere, Australia, he'd have been jailed quite a few times, and put on the sex offenders list, and that's just the stuff he's done with DEMBOT!

[PopCulturePooka]

Joey is like a Superhero for the ages!

[h2orowe]

Joey is like a Superhero for the asians (female of course)!
Fixed .

[PopCulturePooka]

Fixed .
You wouldn't protect innocent anglo girls from the horrors of the Jays of the world?

[h2orowe]

You wouldn't protect innocent anglo girls from the horrors of the Jays of the world?
I would. Also, same with Latinas, and Black beauties.


Just please, no Antarticans.

[PopCulturePooka]

WHY ARE YOU RACIST AGAINST ANTARTICANS?

Sure they are a bit cold hearted, but they are still human!

All 5 of them.

[h2orowe]

Well, ok, I guess. Just to be equal.

[PopCulturePooka]

YAYY JOEY!

A SUPERHERO FOR ALL THE AGES!

o/

[O-Matic]

I heard of this invention...this...ew...scary scary invention...it sounds bad but it's true and sells damn good in some countrys...

It's some kind of condom with some kind of glue...GLUE...HELL NO!

It just won't get of! So the police can find that guy no matter what...but hell you can't do this!

1. You have to wear it -_-;; (it sells only good in countrys with sky-high rape-rate)
2. ARGH! O.K. He earned it...but ARGH! Needles to say that a woman invented this!

Er...well, this is what I wouldn't do for safety...

What I would do is...errr.......I think the knife idea was pretty solid^^

One can also try to play along...do as if you are some kind of nympho and want it, maybe the bad guy will lose his caution and give you the chance to kick his balls and run away or to err bite something of and then run away...this of course only if it should ever get so far...
I think it's worth a try, in most cases the raped one wants to commit suicide anyway!

[Shishio]

I forgot to mention this, but if you're that concerned, I would very strongly recommend you study martial arts. Judo is excellent for learning self defense, and as far as physical taxation goes, I believe it to be very easy. Check out http://www.judoinfo.com But if you're not averse to hard exercise, I would also recommend something like Muay Thai, MMA, or Boxing.

[Urban~Ninja]

OH also, Option 2 is stay the fuck away from Jay. If Jay lived in America, as opposed to ass fuck nowhere, Australia,

Hey Australia is damn well somewhere, next to New Zealend and Under Indonesia.

On a serious note though, basically i would say there is no sure fire way of protection, but you should always have a friend with you when out late at night in unfamiliar areas, usually you would be able to navigate a area you know and if running i assume get somewhere safer.

Since im a guy im gonna tell ya this, if your attacked go for the nads, anyone who says thats dirty is a liar, if you life is on the line kick him straight in the nuts, that will drop him fast a pile o bricks. If somehow you can get him in the nuts and your on the ground just widly kick your legs, he wont be able to get close.

[Angelyne]

Someone (a stranger actually) drugged my drink at a party once. It was especially scary because I'm paranoid about stuff like this happened, and I kept my drink in my hands the entire time. I have no idea how or when this person managed to tamper with my drink. The only reason I got out of that party safely was because I went to the party with a very trusted friend who noticed something was wrong with me and got me home immediately.

I pretty much stopped going to parties after that.

[Mittens]

My area gets too quiet at times, so when im taking the ladies home, i honestly (no kidding here) take my sword with me =3

[Orclover]

Lately, I have been reading many articles about women who have been date raped, raped, attacked, molested . . . the list goes on. I wanted to ask the brilliant women of this site how do you stay safe? How do you protect yourself form these dangerous situations?

I've got a couple of things i'm putting together, but I'm still working on it. I'll post them in a little later in this thread.

I really think that a discussion would be a wonderful tool for all of us. We have younger posters and older ones with vast ranges of expierences. It should be an interesting discussion.

*edit* Guys are welcome too :calvin: :D .

God made man, but as they say....Sam Colt made them all equal. Works for women too. My future daughter will be well versed in firearms of all types, from rifles to derringers. :gangster: And a CCL is pretty easy to get in Texas, unlike those poor bastards in California.

[TygressVirgo]

Thanks for all the replies, it is interesting to see all the different points of views. I think I made myself sound paranoid, lol. O well, interesting info either way.

To roxie - I realised that stranger rape is a lot less common than rape by someone you know. Both are factors to be concerned about either way.

to angelyne - Wow, that is really really scary. I don't really go to parties, but when I do, I plan to have a buddy system in place.

[Stephy]

I stay in the house all day. Not allowed outside anyway. Actually went on a rant (in the IRC ) about how my dad keeps me inside and has this whole thing about men are just out to molest and use me and blah blah blah. Also has this sex offender list thing and doesn't let me out because there are a few on our street it seems. =\

Besides that, I don't know how to keep safe. Maybe I should take certain classes over the summer to be able to defend myself.

IRT Praetorian: :) Michael... always there to fight for equal rights! :yes: Good Michael.

[Orclover]

Besides that, I don't know how to keep safe. Maybe I should take certain classes over the summer to be able to defend myself.



For classes I suggest the United States Marine Corps, Self defense and a good way to get away from over protective parental units. And with lecherous Navy aviation officers around you will have plenty of practice. :frypan:

[Druid]

Keep safe? I've got a combat knife in my drawer, a sword in the clost, a six shot revolver in it's holster somewhere upstairs, and assorted weapons on the walls including a metal staff that weighs 45 pounds. I'm at defcon 4 man.

[wimmpy]

I'm a guy, so getting raped most likely won't happen to me, I hope not :meh: .

I've heard that best places to attack someone that attacking you is go for the eyes. If you hit one they most likely will be off-balance for a few seconds to make your escape.

Don't forget to stomp on the guys toes it causes a second of pain, and kick the shin, because there is no muscle to protect it, so kicking the shin HARD will work.

And Scream.

[Orclover]

I always figured that in a worst case scenario, go in like your giving a blowjob. Bite off the head and spit it in his face, while ripping the left and right testicle's off with each hand and thumbnail. It should effectively deter him from his current plans. Although murder may be plan B, that is if he can stand up. If he brought friends then throw the testicles directly at them and run away, Any mortal man alive will be paused for a few seconds having had another mans testicles thrown at them.

Just some friendly advice from uncle Orc.

[TygressVirgo]

I always figured that in a worst case scenario, go in like your giving a blowjob. Bite off the head and spit it in his face, while ripping the left and right testicle's off with each hand and thumbnail. It should effectively deter him from his current plans. Although murder may be plan B, that is if he can stand up. If he brought friends then throw the testicles directly at them and run away, Any mortal man alive will be paused for a few seconds having had another mans testicles thrown at them.

Just some friendly advice from uncle Orc.

:eyepop: :eyepop: :eyepop:

that is a lot of pain . . . and for some reason I can't stop laughing.

[ZaichikArky]

Do you go to college? You know, there are rape prevention/self defense classes offered for very modest prices through most colleges . I suggest, if you're worried about such things, to sign up for that. Even if there aren't any offered through your school, there certainly will be through your city.

I'm a really big girl(kinda fat but more REALLY TALL) so I am never worried about walking alone at night. There is also safety in numbers, so during nights I'd suggest walking with friends.

Also the common misunderstanding about rapes is that it happens in the woods with a stranger. Actually, I believe 90% of rape cases occur with someone you have already met. Like an acquiantence though a party. So you're better off not getting drunk at parties and following some guy up to his room. It really is more rare to be raped/assulted by a stranger.

[fa11en87]

I always figured that in a worst case scenario, go in like your giving a blowjob. Bite off the head and spit it in his face, while ripping the left and right testicle's off with each hand and thumbnail. It should effectively deter him from his current plans. Although murder may be plan B, that is if he can stand up. If he brought friends then throw the testicles directly at them and run away, Any mortal man alive will be paused for a few seconds having had another mans testicles thrown at them.

Just some friendly advice from uncle Orc.

Eww biting it is disgusting! I wouldn't want my mouth to get dirty...I think smashing the balls with your hands would do the job.

[Your Biggest Fan]

I always figured that in a worst case scenario, go in like your giving a blowjob. Bite off the head and spit it in his face, while ripping the left and right testicle's off with each hand and thumbnail. It should effectively deter him from his current plans. Although murder may be plan B, that is if he can stand up. If he brought friends then throw the testicles directly at them and run away, Any mortal man alive will be paused for a few seconds having had another mans testicles thrown at them.

Just some friendly advice from uncle Orc.

Man... i got the chills from reading that post.

and to contribute to the thread.
push two fingers to the soft part of the neck below the adam's apple will give at least 10 seconds of escape or push both thumbs inside the eye sockets.

[whispering]

how do you stay safe?
Like in any other assault, i dont know if these are legal there (as they are not here) but:

http://www.firsthomesecurity.com/mace/mace_pepper_spray_defense.JPG

http://www.firsthomesecurity.com/tasers/taserlaser.JPG

[Alphonse v.2]

Don't wear revealing clothing, ever. Even if its like 30 outside, put on a coat, or better yet a fur coat, and a ski mask.

[Roxie]

what you wear doesn't matter to a rapist.

[Druid]

>.>
I've heard of devices that are stuck into woman's hooha and are virtual harpoons. So when the foreign entitiy enters the lincon park tunnel, BAM! And there have been reports of cheese graters that make grated cheese out of the one eyed monster.

[Lee]

Mace and a Kick to the nuts, this should give you enough time to run home or some safe place.

[TygressVirgo]

I love the input form everyone.

Here's another question . . . what do you do at a party to protect yourself from date rape?

[shimanotaka]

I love the input form everyone.

Here's another question . . . what do you do at a party to protect yourself from date rape?
Don't drink too much, watch your drink at all times so that no one slips something into it, stay close to other people and don't leave the party alone or with a potential rapist.

[Angelyne]

what you wear doesn't matter to a rapist.

Indeed. At the party where my drink got spiked, I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and pants. I was probably the most modestly dressed person there.

what do you do at a party to protect yourself from date rape?


Always keep an eye on your drink. Don't let it leave your hand, don't let anyone else hold it, even take it into the bathroom when you go. Of course, this didn't work in my case, but it helps...

Also let people know your plans for the night. Where you're going and who you're going with. Might not prevent anything, but if you turn up missing, the police will know where to start looking...

[TygressVirgo]

I was watching the Tyra Banks show, and she did a date-rape senario at a bar.

There was one lady who held on to her drink, kept it close, but the guy was able to distract her and slip a "drug" (which was actually salt) into her drink.

When I go out, I always stay with my friends and we all check in with each other every hour or so. We generally also stay in sight of each other, and if we do go off, even to the bathroom, we let each other know. Better to be safe than sorry, imho.

[CrazyAce86]

Well... I've learned a few things.

1. Forget about staying in the light and all that shit. You just make yourself a target. Sure, you may not be able to him/them, but he/they won't be able to see you, either! Use the dark as cover.

2. Guys generally won't attack a girl if they're with another girl, and especially not when they're with a guy; unless the motive is robbery, they'll leave you alone.

3. Fight dirty. If you have nails, slash the bastard-- if nothing else, you'll get his DNA and if he's caught, he can get convicted on that. If you have heels, use them, and even if you don't, nail the bastard where it hurts. If you're grabbed from behind, kick back at his leg, or if you can reach them, his feet. And, believe it or not, what she did in Miss Congeniality is right. You can use the heel of your palm and hit the bastard in the nose, possibly breaking it. Also-- and one of my favorites-- if there's dirt or grime around, throw it in his face and blind him, then bolt the hell out of there.


I guess I'm luck in the fact that I'm a big girl. 99.9% of guys wouldn't go after me because A) I have weight and possibly could through them off balance, B) I'm not exactly Miss Pretty, if ya get my drift, and C) if I hunch over and have my hood up, I could pass easily for a guy. Yay, go me.

[Orclover]

Well... I've learned a few things.

1. Forget about staying in the light and all that shit. You just make yourself a target. Sure, you may not be able to him/them, but he/they won't be able to see you, either! Use the dark as cover.

2. Guys generally won't attack a girl if they're with another girl, and especially not when they're with a guy; unless the motive is robbery, they'll leave you alone.

3. Fight dirty. If you have nails, slash the bastard-- if nothing else, you'll get his DNA and if he's caught, he can get convicted on that. If you have heels, use them, and even if you don't, nail the bastard where it hurts. If you're grabbed from behind, kick back at his leg, or if you can reach them, his feet. And, believe it or not, what she did in Miss Congeniality is right. You can use the heel of your palm and hit the bastard in the nose, possibly breaking it. Also-- and one of my favorites-- if there's dirt or grime around, throw it in his face and blind him, then bolt the hell out of there.


I guess I'm luck in the fact that I'm a big girl. 99.9% of guys wouldn't go after me because A) I have weight and possibly could through them off balance, B) I'm not exactly Miss Pretty, if ya get my drift, and C) if I hunch over and have my hood up, I could pass easily for a guy. Yay, go me.

Are you kidding? after all that you sound like a hottie to me. I like a girl that can potentially kick my ass. :D

[Anders]

I enjoyed reading most of these posts, though I don't necessarily like the idea of biting someone penis off and spitting it into their face. I must admit, I wasn't expecting that.

Beowulf suggested on the first page that people should carry mace or pepper spray. Other things such as knives, stun-guns/ tazors have been suggested too. Knives are very dangerous tools to use for self defense. While it certainly would be my tool of choice for a close encounter with an attacker trying to kill me, I have 16 years of training with edged weapons. In untrained hands, your knife can actually be more dangerous to you.

Tazors are incredibly cool to see. There is a reason why cops are using it. It works. The only trouble is that they are very expensive. Unfortunately well out of the price range for all but the very wealthy.

Stun-guns? Don't bother. They don't work as well as you see in the movies. All they do is cramp up the muscle. I have been shocked with one of those (so has Raudhri) it really doesn't hurt enough to stop someone from hitting you.

Pepper Spray is also a favorite of mine. I like pepper spray, but users must be aware that the danger does not end once the spray hits the attacker in the face. People who have been sprayed can still see (though it is very painful). If they are angry enough at you, they will remember where you were standing when you sprayed them and they will go after you. Another thing to remember is that spray is affected by the wind, and if you're in a small area such as a room, you may be affected by the spray to a lesser degree as well. There are classes you can take in the use of pepper spray. You might even be able to go to your local police department and ask an officer to show you how to use it correctly.

Kubatons look like small, 6 inch sticks that attach to a keychain. It is legal to carry in most states, and can be used to hit with, and you can use it to convert your keys into a whip. It is far safer than most weapons in that it is difficult to use against you. I carry one on my keychain, and I would recommend one to anybody looking for an easy to use self defense tool. I'm too tired to provide a link, but google search "Kubaton" to see what one looks like.

Slipping drugs in people's drinks is always a concern. I don't know what else to say, but the buddy system sounds like the best way to prevent date rape. If you enjoy going to parties, there is another threat that you should be aware of.

My martial arts instructor (who just retired from being a police officer) and my parents have always told my brother and I to be aware of our surroundings. Some degree of paranoia is healthy, and you don't have to sacrifice a lot of fun to be safe. Start by knowing where all of the exits are. If the place gets too crowded, leave. If you see something or someone that gives you a "bad feeling", leave. Sit/stand against a wall facing the entrance/exit so you can keep an eye on who's entering/leaving. I know this seems pretty intense, but as they say, "knowing is half the battle." A couple years ago already, there were a couple crowd related deaths at some nightclubs. The clubs were overcrowded, and when a small fire broke out, people rushed for the door trampling several people to death. Knowing how to exit a building when there is trouble can definately save your life.

[CrazyAce86]

Are you kidding? after all that you sound like a hottie to me. I like a girl that can potentially kick my ass. :D

:rofl:

Take a trip around the picture thread and you'll see that I'm not Miss Pretty. Hell, even my bfs had told me that I'm "unconventional" looking, which was their PC way of saying that I didn't exactly score well in the looks department.

*shrugs* S'ok with me.

[Orclover]

:rofl:

Take a trip around the picture thread and you'll see that I'm not Miss Pretty. Hell, even my bfs had told me that I'm "unconventional" looking, which was their PC way of saying that I didn't exactly score well in the looks department.

*shrugs* S'ok with me.

Shit baby, as my H.N.I.© always used to say: "I wouldnt throw ya outa bed, less you wanted to do it on the floor."

Attractiveness is only 50% skin deep, the rest is pure attitude.

[MNJetter]

The possibility of my own weapons/mace being used against me is more scary to me than the thought of actually being raped. I'm a pacifist, though, and I hate to rely on other people (like being walked home) for my own safety, so I take aikido.

...though I don't mind relying on my boyfriend/father/brother. That's their job. :D



Not long ago, I saw that somebody suggested that every woman should get a dog to be safer. I also read about a woman that was saved from a rapist by her dog. It almost chomped the guys dick off. So dogs work, as long as you don't get one of those small yappy fuzzballs.

Hahahaha, that's awesome, I like that idea best of all! "Hi there, this is my pitbull. I call him Rex. Mind if I bring him along on our date tonight? Y'know, just for security..."

[bigchris1313]

If you live in 38 of the 50 US states, you can always carry a .38 special or another suitable snub-nose weapon, but when you're drunk, you'll likely be to intoxicated to take proper aim.

So if you're into doing less work and spending less money, not to mention the time required for the CCW permit, (or you live somewhere else like CA), drink with your friends. Large males are preferable, but a group of any friends will do.

[Roxie]

take your own drink in a twist bottle cap.
sure you might look silly, but it beats the chances.

[Jon885]

A thread by women for women, even though three out of the above four happen to men just as much if not more so (in the case of attacked and molested) than to women whilst outside.



I'm not saying you're wrong, but do you have any evidence to back this claim up? I would be interested to know.

[Psychochink]

...be aware of our surroundings. Some degree of paranoia is healthy, and you don't have to sacrifice a lot of fun to be safe.

I also second the above - and it really does have no impact on you once it becomes second nature. Personally, I have a number of habits that I barely even notice anymore, but that affect my ability to react appropriately to sudden danger situations.

For example, when I'm sitting, I automatically choose a seat that puts my back against a wall. I always walk with people on my left-hand side so my dominant hand can't be compromised (by the same token, I carry things in my left). Particularly at night, everyone I see goes through a really quick 'threat analysis', and people that score 'high' occupy more of my attention.

It's not paranoia so much as it's mental conditioning to be prepared for danger - which is half the battle, because if you are mentally prepared then you will react instantly (and appropriately) when a danger situation arises. (e.g. people have learnt that the 'jump out at somebody to startle them' game is not a good idea with me)

The key thing, however, is that once thinking like this becomes second nature to you, then it is second nature, and in no way resembles paranoia. You're not constantly worried, or looking actively for threats, you have just trained your natural responses in such a way that you will always be ready for danger if it arises - and if it doesn't, it never even enters your consciousness. The benefits of paranoia without the drawbacks.

It's all in the mind. The other benefit to this is that, once this kind of thing does become second nature, you will not give off a 'prey' vibe - which paranoia can cause.

On weapons: Think very carefully about this. Keep in mind that if you're thinking about a 'street' scenario, you have a good likelihood of dealing with people who come under the 'dangerous' category. This, then, brings into account the following considerations:
- You pull your weapon before confrontation is a given. With a certain set of people this may actually cause an incident where there otherwise wouldn't have been one - they respond to threat with aggression. Also, keep in mind that most cops have a pretty dim view of brandishment of weapons.
- You wait until something has already happened. Chances are, by this point, it's too late. Contrary to Hollywood's portrayal, most serious encounters are over very quickly. One party will achieve dominance and that will be the end of it.
- Keeping in mind that we're talking about dangerous people here, pulling a weapon immediately ups the stakes and is much more likely to result in somebody's death. There's a good chance it will be you.

Speaking from a personal perspective, I know that my instinctual reaction to being threatened with e.g. a knife (even if jokingly by a friend) is to destroy them right the hell now to remove the threat - as quickly and brutally as possible.

[MNJetter]

re: Jon's post

I think it might have been a mistake. The original post didn't specify "attacked" as being specifically "sexually attacked," but I get the distinct feeling that's what was implied.

It all depends on your definitions.

[Jon885]

The original post did specify sexually attack because it talked about date rape.

I'm pretty sure she meant sexually raped.

[yao_yao]

the two hardest substances in the human body available as weapons: teeth and nails.

men are not only weak in their genital area... not to mention most of them (rapists) are probably used to, or at least expecting, an attack there.

neck, fingers, toes, shin.

if you can run, do it. like it or not, most guys do have more muscle than us. i've learned martial arts and self defense from my brothers who are as paranoid as me about certain things (plus i'm off to college this coming year), but even so... also guys are stronger in the upper body. so don't let them grab you, or grapple with them. Kick hard, and run.

If you're near a car, roll underneath. Doesnt matter how dirty it is underneath. Like someone said before, speedial 911.

Screaming helps... but remember the story of Kitty Genovese. Psychology says that the more ppl there are that are aware of a situation, the less likely they are to help, because they think 'someone else' will go help or call 911.

Call "FIRE". Fire gets everyone to look around... "where's the fire?" Versus "murderer" or "rapist" gets everyone running in the opposite direction.


Edit:
Oh hey I completely forgot! If you're near your car, get in and lock the door! Even if he breaks the window, not all guys can get into a car via the window, and even then it takes a while. PLENTY of time for you to dig out the stilletos your best friend made you buy but you never remembered to return so they're still in your car.

Warning to the guys on this forum... I have stilletos with wicked heals and not afraid to use them as weapons to take out an eye or two. >:-D

[shimanotaka]

Some degree of paranoia is healthy, and you don't have to sacrifice a lot of fun to be safe.
It's my firm belief that paranoia is good for you. When the shit really hits the fan, it's the paranoid ones that will have the best chances of getting out of it alive and in one piece. And that's applicable to almost all threats, whether it's date rape, burning clubs, bird flu or zombie invasions.

[Praetorian]

I'm not saying you're wrong, but do you have any evidence to back this claim up? I would be interested to know.


Yes.

... But it's in Dutch and in my social studies book.

It said that women don't feel safe outside, while men feel extremely secure outside. It also said that men were far more likely to be the victims of random violence than women, and women are generally safer from harm, ironically.

I'll look it up to quote it.

Found it.

"Feeling unsafe"

15-24 years old - A little above average
25-39 years old - A little below average
40-64 years old - A little below average
65+ - Far above average

Men - Far below average
Women - Far above average

Those living inside a city - Far above average
Those living outside of cities - Far below average

Source: Actuele Criminologie (Actual Criminology), J.J.M. van Dijk, 2002

It also comes with a graph showing violence and theft to these specific groups of people, and it shows that women older than 65 living outside a city are safest from harm, while 18-24 year old men living in a city are most likely to be the victim of random violence or theft.

Yes, I too think it's weird that it seems that the weaker you are (or more specifically, appear - I know quite a few girls as young as 14 years old that could quite easily kick ass), the safer you are. But if I can't trust my social studies book, what can I trust?

[Kass]

If you really want to stay safe, avoid putting yourself in unsafe situations. Always go out in groups, have friends check up on you on date nights, have someone escort you to your car at night, be aware of your surroundings, leave a hall light or entrance way light on so you never walk into a dark house, etc.

I posted this before, but it is on topic and worth repeating.

There is a distinction between a date rapist (which is VASTLY underreported), an "typical" rapist and a predator, though the distinction between the last two is rather fine. "Predator" is normally used to describe a rapist who chooses a type of victim (brown hair and green eyes, blonde and blue eyed, the girl next dooor, looks like mom, etc.), stalks them, then attacks them. The typical rapist picks a victim of opportunity. He's out, he's pissed, he sees a suitable victim and place and goes for it. "Typical" is in no way used to mitigate or diminish the horror of what a rapist does. It is used to indicate the common type of stranger rapist.

Date rape is likely the most common rape, but there is no way to verify that because estimates indicate that only a very small percentage of them are reported. Of course, those are estimates based on largely unscientific studies, but enough indicate underreporting to some degree to be able to make the statement. What can't be determined is exactly how many date rapes go unreported.

Here's some information, but keep in mind, these are general statements and not all apply to all rapists or all victims, save the advice to make noise, run or fight. Some of these are gleaned form conversations with probation officer who specializes in handling sex offenders, some from reading I've done on this stuff and some is common sense from police officers I've known.

1. Rapists are pissed off people. They rape out of anger and the desire for control. Rape is about rage and power, not getting their rocks off. No matter who you are, how you dress, how long your hair, cute, ugly, etc., if you are in the wrong place at the wrong time, you are their type.

2. Across the board, the most common characteristic is vulnerability, esp. targeting petite women or vulnerable in some other method (i.e. a friend, a elderly person, alone). This does not mean if you are a tall woman, you won't get raped, but if you are petite, you are more vulnerable and thus a more attractive target.

3. How a woman dresses does get a rapist's attention (though in NO WAY is a woman's dress jusification for rape). The less clothing, the more attention. Think about it. In a group of women, one is wearing sweats, another wearing jeans and a shirt and one is wearing a mini skirt and almost no shirt. Which woman stands out?

4. Rapists look for women who are in isolated areas (empty parking garages, empty public restrooms, apartment laundry rooms, grocery store parking lots, etc.) or are trusting. They'd rather not transport/drag a victim anywhere. It isn't as easy to drag a screaming woman around or drive her somewhere as the entertainment industry makes it out to be. If you're working late or going home late, get someone to walk you out.

6. The use of brute force is most common, but weapons, esp. knives, are often used. So are threats against infants and children. It is by far the easiest way to get a mother to cooperate. Almost all mothers will lie back and get raped before they will allow their child to be harmed.

7. If a rapist has hold of you, ALWAYS put up a fight. Always make a LOT of noise. Scream whatever it takes to draw attention. Go for the groin and the eyes. Don't worry about anything else BUT be prepared to get beaten up because you will make them angrier before they flee. (This is also what you should tell all children if a stranger approaches them and tries to grab them.)

8. If a rapist does not have hold of you, RUN and make a LOT of noise. Don't stick around and fight. Don't try to play the hero. Odds are he picked you because he is bigger than you and stronger than you. Get the hell out. (Again, tell kids this too.)

9. Nothing you can carry is a deterrent to a rapist except a gun. The best thing is to always travel in groups though. Other people around is a very good deterrent. Again, if at all possible, get an escort to your car, home, etc. if you'll be out late. Don't be a stubborn "I am woman hear me roar" idiot. You are safer with company than alone. Period. Everyone knows you can work and have kids or whatever. You don't need to prove it by putting yourself at greater risk.

[mawande]

I have managed not to get raped by most likely just not having bad luck. There's also the fact that deliberate rapists go for women they think they can intimidate, and I generally don't look nervous or anxious, because I'm not. "Accidental" rapists, also known as guys who think "no" means "yes" are easy to avoid. The other date-rapists... well, I am a) never alone with any men b) don't drink alcohol at all and c) I don't have a life, so to speak. I am never in a party or position where a guy can get at my drink except in a host club, and quite frankly they don't do that. It would be dangerous for their whole profession.

[CrazyAce86]

Shit baby, as my H.N.I.© always used to say: "I wouldnt throw ya outa bed, less you wanted to do it on the floor."

Attractiveness is only 50% skin deep, the rest is pure attitude.

You say that now-- then the time comes and it's like, "Hell no!"

So while I'd like to believe, life experience has taught me otherwise. And it's not so bad-- I think a lone guy is more likely to get raped than me. *shrugs* I ain't complainin'.

[Jon885]

Yes, I too think it's weird that it seems that the weaker you are (or more specifically, appear - I know quite a few girls as young as 14 years old that could quite easily kick ass), the safer you are. But if I can't trust my social studies book, what can I trust?

Now that I think about it I don't think it's weird that men are more attacked, but I'm surprised that you said they were molested more. Where in this study does it say men are more likely to be sexually attacked?

[Jay]

Use condoms.

[Praetorian]

Now that I think about it I don't think it's weird that men are more attacked, but I'm surprised that you said they were molested more. Where in this study does it say men are more likely to be sexually attacked?

I'm sorry, I got the meaning of molested wrong. In the Netherlands (the country where I am from, dur), to be "molested" means being beaten to near death. It does not have any sexual connotions.

My social studies book does say, however, that the victims of date rape (the kind of raped where you're drugged so you lose your objectivity, just saying incase I got the meaning of that wrong too) are often female to male, too. Researches (although somewhat inaccurate, but close to the truth), say that 1/3rd of all date rapes are women date raping men. Date rape is also vastly underreported - especially so in case of female to male date rape.

[Anders]

That's a scary figure. I can honestly say that I did not know that. I was pretty tired last night and I didn't provide a link with my last post.

Here is a website selling kubatons. As you can see, they have a very simple design. They are very effective, but you have to make sure your state laws allow you to carry one. In Wisconsin for example, you can carry a flat kubaton, but you can't carry a pointed one.

Kubatons (http://netlinkenterprises.com/security/products.php?cat=263)

While I know a lot about self defense laws and self defense techniques, I'm not a police officer. I've only studied martial arts for 18 years, 16 of which under a police training officer. I have also done a fair amount of research regarding the law in my state.

[Jon885]

I'm sorry, I got the meaning of molested wrong. In the Netherlands (the country where I am from, dur), to be "molested" means being beaten to near death. It does not have any sexual connotions.

My social studies book does say, however, that the victims of date rape (the kind of raped where you're drugged so you lose your objectivity, just saying incase I got the meaning of that wrong too) are often female to male, too. Researches (although somewhat inaccurate, but close to the truth), say that 1/3rd of all date rapes are women date raping men. Date rape is also vastly underreported - especially so in case of female to male date rape.

np, thanks for clearifying. I didn't know that there was such a high percentage of women raping men, so this comes to a surprise to me. I can see this happening if the man is already in the woman's house, and I can also see why a man wouldn't report this, because most people would laugh him out of court. I really would like to get a hold of these studies and show them to a femanist I know who believes men don't have any disadvantages.

Anders I own a kobuton and it's pointed. I didn't know you couldn't carry them.

[Praetorian]

Of course, everything I posted so far has been information as recorded in the Netherlands. Although I can't imagine this to be the case, it could be radically different in the USA.

[InThane]

A friend of mine was recently raped, by somebody she had known for over a year and a half. He asked her to go out, she agreed if a friend would come, he told the friend a different time than he told her, and bam.

Let's just say if she ever tells me who he is, he might accidentally run into my baseball bat a couple of times. I do know she went to the police, though.

Before going further, I want to stress something. As soon as you physically harm a potential rapist, you have potentially changed the situation from one where he's after sex to one where he is going to be seeking revenge against you for the physical damage you did. You have to be very sure that you can get somewhere safe before he can catch up with you.

The one thing you have to remember about most male rapists is that in all likelyhood they are stronger than you, and they are also desperate enough to get what they want to break whatever social and legal guidelines exist in your area. I can't give too much advice on the "date rape drug" side of things, but on the physical confrontation side of things, the only thing you are likely to have in your favor is surprise. He probably has longer arms, is physically stronger, and can run faster than you. If you're lucky, he isn't trained in any kind of physical combat. If he is, and you're not, there isn't a whole lot you can do other than roll under a car and use a cell phone.

A lot of people have talked about going for the 'nads. I don't recommend this - yeah, it hurts, but it doesn't cripple, and it pisses off the attacker. From personal experience of getting a strong knee in the nuts (totally different situation FWIW - somebody forgot to pull a knee in a training situation, and really hammered it home hard), it would daze them for about a second, and then they just keep going. No, you have to hit them somewhere that will physically impact their ability to actively pursue you. Unless you're really good, breaking their arm or leg isn't going to be easy, so go for a vulnerable point.

Eyes. If they can't see you, they can't chase you. Problem is, most people have two, and once you get one, they're not going to let you near the other unless they're stupid. The pain will suck, but it doesn't otherwise physically impair their ability to chase you.

Throat. This can be a good one. Exposed target, not many people expect it, and you can cause difficulty breathing, which definitely reduces the speed somebody can run at for a few seconds, at least.

Solar plexus. This is harder to get at, but also if you do it right, the person will not be coming after you for at least ten seconds. If you hit the nerve cluster, the diaphragm stops working, no oxygen to the lungs, they literally just drop right there. However, it's hard to hit properly - throat is usually better. I list it because since he's most likely taller than you, so you might not be able to get an easy blow at his throat.

[Orclover]

You say that now-- then the time comes and it's like, "Hell no!"

So while I'd like to believe, life experience has taught me otherwise. And it's not so bad-- I think a lone guy is more likely to get raped than me. *shrugs* I ain't complainin'.

You dont know me :), Damn every man that failed to call you pretty and took pot shots at your ego instead. If I wasnt married I would work harder to fix that. :afro:

Call "FIRE". Fire gets everyone to look around... "where's the fire?" Versus "murderer" or "rapist" gets everyone running in the opposite direction.

Just the Timid ones. In any group of people there are going to be a majority that puts any confrontation into the catagory of "someones elses problem", but there are almost always at least someone who's adrenaline will kick in and come A runnin. Poor Kitty Gen was surrounded by old 1970's down and out New Yorkers who could give a flying F*CK about anybody else, in modern downtown San Antonio she would have had a stamped of Latino's and Cowboys comming to kick somebodys ass. Wrong city, wrong time.

Yell fire, Yell Rape, Yell Murder, Yell Obscenities, Yell Free Beer, Hell set something ON FIRE! Honk your horn and break some windows/slam some doors, When your in trouble there is no such thing as too much attention getting.

[CrazyAce86]

You dont know me :), Damn every man that failed to call you pretty and took pot shots at your ego instead. If I wasnt married I would work harder to fix that. :afro:

Meh. Married. Figures. Murphy Brown's Law of Men gets another point.

And hell yeah, scream your ass off. Better if you can do it right in their ear; it might make them flinch enough for you to be able to hit them or something.

Oh, and if you're wearing slip off heels-- the pointy kind-- and you have an opportunity, slip one off and smash the heel in the throat or head. Eyes if you can aim, if not, just keep at it.

[Kaze]

I lived overseas in Papua New Guinea for three years while I was in my teens. This country has one of the highest rape rates in the world, and as a white, female foreigner I was particularly at risk. There is virtually no effective police force, so I was on my own should any problems arise. I have been through two rape attempts and managed to dissuade my attacker both times. Both men were strangers to me, although because of my rather high profile in the area they knew me. I honestly believe that two things saved me; my quick thinking and my assertive behavior.

In the first attack, I was with my boyfriend, who, after being told he would be gutted if he interfered, did NOTHING. Instead, I pretended to have a rather odd illness and went into a seizure. The attacker freaked out and took off.

In the second attack, I was alone. He tried to physically restrain me and I yelled – not screamed like a girl, but bellowed – in his face and clawed at his eyes. He took off.

In PNG, gun control is extremely tight, so of course only the police and those breaking the law already have weapons. Pepper spray and tasers were also illegal during the time that I was there, so all I had to rely on was myself. I’m not saying that every attack is escapable or even avoidable, and of course date rape would be a totally different experience than what I went through. I can’t tell anyone what to do; I’m just relating my own experiences. I don’t believe I was “lucky.” I believe my mind and instincts guided me.

Oh, and I did take to carrying a large hunting knife after the second time.

[Orclover]

I hope to god you meant EX-boyfriend.

I am now scratching Papua New Guinea off my list as one of my future vacation spots.

[Kiari]

It was suggested earlier in the thread to bite anyone attempting to rape you... really guys, that should be a last resort because of the sheer amount of nasties you expose yourself to by getting blood in your mouth.

Depending on your aim and strength, I'd go for the eyes. A male friend of mine once jumped out of a dark stairwell and tackled me from behind to 'surprise' me, in the middle of the night, in an empty building. Because he was dared to by someone who believed (apparently rightly so) that regardless of his own strength and size, I'd win. :duh: I had to drive him to the hospital, the doctor on duty said if I hadn't pulled back at the last second I would have popped both eyes.

Stupid, stupid man. :eyepop:

[Orclover]

Blood, Semen. Make your choice, neither is healthier than the other.

[Kiari]

I don't know if one carries more diseases than the other, though there are plenty in both. Which is why I said "a last resort" and not "NEVER". If you can use your hands/feet/headbutt, use that instead. Especially since in your original post you'd said what you'd do with your hands at the same time.

If your hands are free, and you decide to go for the groin to injure, grab with both hands, bend in opposite directions. Pretty much the same amount of pain inflicted, less blood-in-you.

[MNJetter]

From personal experience of getting a strong knee in the nuts (totally different situation FWIW - somebody forgot to pull a knee in a training situation, and really hammered it home hard), it would daze them for about a second, and then they just keep going.

:eyepop: Nuts of steel, that one......

[Monkey]

A lot of people seem to think that going for the nuts is a good idea. But, quite frankly, it will most of the time fail. This is because 100% of males know that the crown jewels are to be protected. In any potentially dangerous situation, men will know that their balls are quite likely to be attacked.

It is a heck of a lot better to go for the eyes or throat. They are quite disabling locations which will stun your opponent. Then when they are stunned you can give them a good kick to the happysack.

[bigchris1313]

I'd go so far as to say a CCW is always a worthwhile investment of resources.

I'd agree, but as a Californian, I'm shit outta luck, as they say.

[InThane]

:eyepop: Nuts of steel, that one......Oh, it HURT, no question about it, but it didn't stop me from tossing the guy onto the mat. There's a difference between pain and preventing further mobility. Pain hurts, but it doesn't stop you. Stopping vital organs from functioning at full capacity? Oh hell yeah that stops you.

If somebody has been in a lot of fights, they can handle pain. I *DARE* you* to punch Mike Tyson in the nuts and see if that gives you time to take him down.

* Not really, but you get the idea.

[Kaze]

I hope to god you meant EX-boyfriend.

I am now scratching Papua New Guinea off my list as one of my future vacation spots.
The next morning was the last time I saw him.

[whispering]

I'd go so far as to say a CCW is always a worthwhile investment of resources. A snub nose weapon is a must, but also keep in mind that you may want to lean towards a revolver, as you'll be wanting a concealed hammer or hammerless weapon so it won't snag in your purse, pocket or wherever you conceal it.
Thats a really bad advice. No wonder you have so huge weapon problems around there.

[bigchris1313]

Thats a really bad advice. No wonder you have so huge weapon problems around there.

Yeah, freedom's pretty shitty, isn't it?

I wish I lived in Western Europe!

Hell, and if the girl who decides not to pick up a CCW is one day being assaulted and groping for a gun that isn't there, I'm sure when she tells her assailant to "stop" that he'll listen.

[EvilFred]

I stay safe by not getting into cars with people I don't know, keeping my drink with me at all times when I'm at parties, leaving a situation if I feel unsafe, and not going out at night in a bad part of town. I'm also not afraid to hurt someone if feel threatened so that helps too.

I've heard a few posters say 'Keep a guy with you' but I wouldn't really depend on that because I've been in a few potentially harmful situations and had guys bolt on me. Also, men can be victimized too.

[Praetorian]

Yeah, freedom's pretty shitty, isn't it?




We say the same thing about your criminalised marijuana.

Which probably kills less people than guns.

[Orclover]

I stay safe by not getting into cars with people I don't know, keeping my drink with me at all times when I'm at parties, leaving a situation if I feel unsafe, and not going out at night in a bad part of town. I'm also not afraid to hurt someone if feel threatened so that helps too.

I've heard a few posters say 'Keep a guy with you' but I wouldn't really depend on that because I've been in a few potentially harmful situations and had guys bolt on me. Also, men can be victimized too.


Who the hell are you ladies dating that keep ditching you? I have heard that some women find sensitive unthreatening caring lil guys attractive, but come on!

Big testosterone laden guys need love too ya know, And if we happen to get victimized it just pisses us off and we come back for revenge later. :bang: Sure were not big on poetry and our idea of "shareing feelings" is to occasionally spout off interesting grunts when you press the matter, but were a hellova lot less likely to leave you to the wolves.

For the love of god point out these losers to the nearest gentleman so we can take away thier Man-Cards.

[whispering]

Yeah, freedom's pretty shitty, isn't it?
I've never really understood why some in US think they have more freedoms then in other countries? Care to give some examples of the freedoms i dont have? Forced to buy a gun to protect yourself aint exactly a freedom :P

[gyoza]

Who the hell are you ladies dating that keep ditching you? I have heard that some women find sensitive unthreatening caring lil guys attractive, but come on!

Big testosterone laden guys need love too ya know, And if we happen to get victimized it just pisses us off and we come back for revenge later. :bang: Sure were not big on poetry and our idea of "shareing feelings" is to occasionally spout off interesting grunts when you press the matter, but were a hellova lot less likely to leave you to the wolves.

For the love of god point out these losers to the nearest gentleman so we can take away thier Man-Cards.

I doubt they'd have man-cards in the first place. :P

But I wonder who these guys are who give us other small guys a bad name. I wouldn't have bolted... I mean the extent of what I could do would probably be to distract him and get beat up, but it's better than nothing :)

[bigchris1313]

Dude, you guys are telling me. I want legalized drugs. I want everything: weed, coke, heroin.

But it's hard to get this bastard government to budge unless it's written into the constitution. Bastards.

And no one is forced to buy a weapon. Some prefer to in order to protect what is theirs because the police cannot be everywhere at once.

[bigchris1313]

I've never really understood why some in US think they have more freedoms then in other countries? Care to give some examples of the freedoms i dont have?

What's your highest income tax rate?

[TygressVirgo]

I don't know about those guys, but my 'boys' are the best.

One night, my two girlfriends and I were watching a movie at one of their houses. There was a party going on just a few blocks from us, that a bunch of our male friends were attending. We had the lights all off, and we were really enjoying the movie. All of a sudden, we heard a banging on the back window, then the front window, then the door.

My girlfriends flipped out, and I called my guy friends and told them what was going on. I called them first because they played this trick on us before. My other friend was ready to call 911 if it wasn't them (just a sidenote, the emergency people in guam are not the quickest, due to distance and such). When they told us no, I didn't even have to ask them, they came running up to come and get us.

I mean, they literaly ran to our rescue! Shortly before they got to us, a minute after we hung up, we had found out that it was two of our other guy friends who was messing with us. We all took turns giving them our 'appreciation' for such a mean joke.

I'm lucky to have these guys in my life, I don't know what I would do to a 'friend' that ran the other direction, when I needed help.

[whispering]

What's your highest income tax rate?
Dont exactly understand the question, but i pay about 20% taxes and VAT is 22% here. In return i get free health care, education etc regardless of social status. Dont really understand what taxing has to do with freedom though? I mean the less tax the more freedom would mean the third world countries are the only ones with true freedom?