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D-pad
08-29-2005, 11:33 AM
Well I went to visit my mother this weekend. *insert sarcastic W00t!*
So anyway I get there and my dad leaves so I'm sitting around, when she tells me we are going to a party. So she breaks out the budweiser and while everyone is getting ready we sit around and drink. (responsible aint she?)
Well we leave about 3:00-ish and head to the party. I had to give my current beer up (stupid law) witch kinda sucked, but other than that it was all good. Like a real redneck I rode in the back of my mom's boyfriends truck for about 30 miles to the party. We got out and I grabbed a new beer and then we went up to the house. Let me tell ya it was nice. I'm no good at describing houses, but it was big and shit and it had a big pool and a big garage. So after a while I see a friend from school at the party and we hang for a bit. After walkin around for about an hour with him we decide to get in the pool. I quickly head to the bathroom and change, then it was off to the pool. I quickly jumped in cause that shit was cold as eskimo sex. I played volley ball in the pool for a bit, but after a while that got boring so I got out. Then I met a pit bull named hitler. He was nice and lovable and cute to everybody at the party........exept me. I went to pet him and he tried to take my fuckin arm off no joke. I was able to run and hide before he could catch me luckily or I'd a been fucked up worse than the government. After that and a couple more beers I decide it was safer and funner to get back in the pool. So for the next few hours I swam and periodically got out to quickly down some beer. This goes on til about 7 when I'm so drunk my mother and I both decide to cut me off for a bit. I then ate some BBQ and sat and watch a band play for a bit. I went to walk around the pool when all of a sudden around the bushes came Hitler. He saw me and started chasing after me again so I quickly jumped strait into the pool. I swam around til about 10:00 and then the cops came and broke up the party. So I got out only to find out my mother and her boyfriend left. So I sit around and have to drink Keystone light and wait for her to get back. Well about an hour later she arrives and we leave. The ride back is cold because I'm all wet. When we get home she leaves again and I change into my batman pj's. (dont laugh batman is the shiz nit) I quickly find the porn and watch some weird S&M shit. After I was done masturbating I watch some CSI. When that was over there was nothing else on tv so I watched porn again. This time was better, but only slightly. It was some generic 80's porn and was quite boring. After I was doen with my business again I relised I was kinda sleepy so I crashed on the coutch.


So I figured I'd share my fun experience with you all. Hope you enjoy. Also this is my longest post ever.

Mittens
08-29-2005, 12:08 PM
...Fascinating

Jay
08-29-2005, 12:24 PM
Paragraphs are friends, not enemies.

This story certainly WAS creative. *cough*

Nights_into_dreams
08-29-2005, 01:16 PM
Paragraphs are friends, not enemies.

No, Jay...in this case it really isn't.

Ever.

Paragraphs abandoned all thoughts of friendship with our beloved d_pad around the third grade. Don't get me wrong, it tried, really it did, but then it realized d_pad was never going to change and that it wasn't worth the pain of staying around watching him deteriorate into a porn addict.

We're here for you, paragraphs, we are here for you...

Be strong.

koku
08-29-2005, 02:48 PM
lol all fo d_pad's post make me amused.

Jay
08-29-2005, 03:03 PM
No, Jay...in this case it really isn't.

Ever.

Paragraphs abandoned all thoughts of friendship with our beloved d_pad around the third grade. Don't get me wrong, it tried, really it did, but then it realized d_pad was never going to change and that it wasn't worth the pain of staying around watching him deteriorate into a porn addict.

We're here for you, paragraphs, we are here for you...

Be strong.

Teeheehee. That were funny.

(Okay, that sounded retarded.)

Dead Sexy Vocab
08-29-2005, 11:17 PM
You could've humped the dog, why couldn't you hump the dog?

MajorProblem
08-29-2005, 11:24 PM
Yeah, show that dog who's boss!

In other news, I really didn't need to know about the last part.

h2orowe
08-29-2005, 11:45 PM
lol all fo d_pad's post make me amused.
lol all of d_pad's post make me aroused. O.o

Dead Sexy Vocab
08-29-2005, 11:46 PM
He takes me to the Candy Shop.

Mittens
08-30-2005, 02:27 AM
He takes me to the Candy Shop.
MY EARS! MY SWEET SWEE-
Hang on.. he typed that..
MY EYES! MY SWEET SWEET EYES THAT HAVE SEEN MANY A GREAT PORN FLICK!

Oh what a world...

sakana
08-30-2005, 03:19 PM
That was a...ummm....interesting story. Yeah, it was interesting...

belladonna
09-04-2005, 01:51 AM
wow.... just wow.....

Scapegoat Handy
09-04-2005, 02:34 PM
If you read it really fast and then at the end say:
"I no longer know who I am and I feel like the ghost of a total stranger."
It wraps it-up quite nicly. I don't know where I've heard it, but I know it's not mine.

kensei
09-04-2005, 09:28 PM
Silly 14 year-olds drinking makes me giggle. And by giggle, I mean laugh at their stupidity.

Tenlaius
09-06-2005, 01:07 PM
ok...weird.
also if the dog kept chasing you,why no just sucka punch it. If that doesn't work then hope it wasn't nuddered if ya get my meaning ;)

Ok with that aside..pick up any girls at the party? hehe

Jay
09-06-2005, 06:41 PM
Silly 14 year-olds drinking makes me giggle. And by giggle, I mean laugh at their stupidity.

You have this annoying but useful habit of speaking the truth. :D

D-pad
09-06-2005, 07:14 PM
ok...weird.
also if the dog kept chasing you,why no just sucka punch it. If that doesn't work then hope it wasn't nuddered if ya get my meaning ;)

Ok with that aside..pick up any girls at the party? hehe
Nah too many fatties.........

kensei
09-06-2005, 08:17 PM
You have this annoying but useful habit of speaking the truth. :D
I try :D

After all, it's my duty to inform the younger generation *dramatic anime pose*