Boy problem...

[Lea]

lol

[ShadowDeth]

He has a penis and you don't. That's the best advice I can give you. Men are rabid animals and all you need to do is prod them a little bit.

[ShadowDeth]

But I will give you some real advice now, since you made yourself relatively vulnerable with your post.

High school? Or what? It sounds like teenage stuff, but he's driving so maybe late high school?

He's just being a (teenage?) boy. I would just ask him directly. It might be a turn off for him but you won't get anywhere by just thinking about it and posting on a bulletin board.

[gyoza]

Why don't you directly go and talk to him? Maybe he's just being shy (speaking from experience here).

[Psychochink]

If he likes you he'll call and/or make the next move. If he doesn't, he won't. Why do people make this so complicated?

[Lea]

^ Eee... Sorry. I'm very inexperienced. I don't mean to make people annoyed over this... o.o

Gyoza:
How so? Ask him what? I've already kind of done all the moves myself so far. Such as asking him out in the first place.... :D

[Psychochink]

Don't ask him anything - the ball's in his court. From a 'game' point of view, the last thing you want to do now is be overeager, it's a turn-off. Plus, if he's being shy/trying to figure out what he wants, then you're pressuring him, which won't help.

...Unless he likes assertive women. I know I do.

Treat him like you did before you asked him out. The parameters of your relationship haven't suddenly changed just because you went on a date.

Edit: Who's annoyed? *looks around*

[Kwiz]

It's quite likely that he was just shy and undecided as to whether he wanted to be seen near you or not. Just a bit of hesitation. I would simply continue to be friendly - and you'll see his confidence emerge soon enough.

If it doesn't... well, then you know to move on.

[l337moomoo]

well when a guy gets into a relationship at school, their quiet at first (trust mee) but its normal, and you guys will get closer and he will display his affection

[l337moomoo]

oh, you guys arent going out, i should read this stuff first....

[Komachi Angel]

It could just be all because he's nervous. If you both met in school (which it seems is the case) and he was used to acting a certain way around you, a change in your relationship could make him uncertain about what he should be doing at any given stage.

Back when I was in high school I did almost the exact same thing as this guy sounds like he's doing. How was I feeling? I thought, I really like this girl and I want to be with her. But, if I keep hanging around her maybe she'll think I'm too clingy / strange, and, even though we had a nice date why isn't she coming up and talking to me? Not to mention the various pressures of school life and all of that.

It's hard to explain, but I kinda know where the guy could be coming from. Don't lose heart - maybe he's feeling the exact same way about this day as you, or maybe he's just a bit shy, like you mentioned. It sounds nuts, but sometimes when a guy is ignoring you like in your story, it can mean he really likes you but maybe just isn't too forward in getting about it.

I lost a girl this way, and have cursed myself ever since for it.

[Kwiz]

Komachi's right. After all, you only get out of something what you put into it.

[Beowulf]

Lea, speaking from experiance, he is more afraid of you then you are of him. Just talk to him. Remember that he's just as new to this as you and probably just as scared.

[Renter]

olololol

First: Don't take it too seriously. Go through what was said and done on the date, try to figure out if you missed anything.
Second: What movie did you see?
Third: It just might be that he's nervous, too. Hang around him, friendly. If you quietly let him know that you like being around him, that'll do worlds of good no matter what's going on.
Fourth: Also, it might be that he hasn't got a clue as to what you want to do to continue. You apparently didn't make plans for a second date, and if you want one, pass him your phone number and go 'I had fun last time, call me.' I know it's cliché, but it works :P
Fifth: Don't listen to anything the people here tell you. Including me.

[Praetorian]

Probably shy. He probably doesn't want to approach you because he doesn't want to appear over-eager and embarrass you in front of your friends. At least, that's what he thinks he'll be doing by walking with you.

P.S.


... You asked him out and he paid for everything? How wrong is that?

[Morel]

Well if he's the shy type he's prolly afraid he did something wrong, and if he likes you then he's REALLY afraid of reaching out first cause he doesn't want to feel like an idiot.. But it's kinda weird since you asked him out first..

Just go up and say I had a nice time, wanna do it again?

And if he still has doubts he should be smacked :)

[Psychochink]

... You asked him out and he paid for everything? How wrong is that?

Digression: Maybe I'm too old school, but I've always been a sucker for paying for stuff. I'm getting better, though. I think last time I did this I paid for dinner, but that's because 'the splitting of the bill' can be awkward. She gets to pay next time, that's the deal - no mess, no fuss.

Kinda like paying for drinks in rounds.

On topic: I'm noticing an awful lot of assumptions here that he is into her. I mean, yeah, that's the best case scenario, but assuming it's shyness can be setting up for embarassment here. Hence my suggestion just to go on like nothing happened. It's still friendly, puts him at ease in either scenario and leaves the door open for him to make the next move.

[PopCulturePooka]

Heh Psychochink I noticed after travelling abroad that we Aussies seem much better at this whole who pays thing than other nationalities.

Especially when it comes to drinks. Shouting a round is such a part of our culture.

[Trump]

How someone acts at school in front of friends has no bearing on what a person really thinks or wants at least initially. Remember, you've only been on one date. Be patient and just pay attention to him. If you try to force things it could spell disaster, but so can jumping to conclusions. No one here has a clue what is going through his mind so just relax. Talk to him casually like you normally would and see what happens.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

He was probably dumb enough to think that the date didn't go well and is avoiding you to avoid embarassment.

That or, god forbid, he just doesn't like you.

Either way you prod him and you get a chance to talk to him, okay?

[Kewl Imp]

He probably, like others ha said, doesn't know what to do. if you liked the date, go up to him, tell him you liked it and maybe would want to do it again. Also its high school, most people don't find what they are looking for in high school. But be relaxed about it, don't stress.

[setrict]

A smile and eye contact is a good way to reassure without being clingy.

[Jiant Flying Panda]

Well if this guy is like me then the only reason why he's avoiding you is because he probably doesn't know what to say/do once he meets up with you again.

Trust me, he's just afraid :D

[gyoza]

Don't ask him anything - the ball's in his court. From a 'game' point of view, the last thing you want to do now is be overeager, it's a turn-off. Plus, if he's being shy/trying to figure out what he wants, then you're pressuring him, which won't help.


That's why I said he might be shy. He might not be sure what you thought of the date so he's waiting for you to say something about it. Simply initiating a conversation won't come across as overeager. This is of course just my opinion, as a shy dude who hates the 'game'; but then again he's equally likely to be like me as he is like Psychochink. That's why...


Treat him like you did before you asked him out. The parameters of your relationship haven't suddenly changed just because you went on a date.


this seems to be the best course of action for now. :)

[Psychochink]

Hey! We're interested now. It's like a soap opera, you want to see what happens next. "Tune in next week, for another exciting episode of Soulful in Seattle. Does 'Chad' like Lea? Will he tell her about the pustulent STD that makes him so shy about women? Who was that masked man lurking behind the school dumpsters? To find out, we'll see you back here tomorrow. Same bat-time, same bat-channel."

How else are people supposed to live vicariously through strangers on the internet?
Heh Psychochink I noticed after travelling abroad that we Aussies seem much better at this whole who pays thing than other nationalities.

Especially when it comes to drinks. Shouting a round is such a part of our culture.
You mean other people don't? What do they do, go and order individually? But that means they miss out on all the fun stuff like having to mumble "a Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against the Wall" to the burly bartender, or the mechanics of carrying five drinks through a crowded pub without spilling them!

Plus, it means the whole group is getting drunk at the same rate, which is never a bad thing. The borderline alcoholics (me) have to slow down and the sippers have to speed up so that everyone else can have another drink. Avoids the whole issue of having either one person completely ratted or far too sober to appreciate the hilarity (or, god forbid, one of each). Plus it's much more friendly.

[FOBulous]

Okay I'm not going to read everyone's comments, but I would approach him and say, "Hey I didn't make you uncomfortable did I?" But you have to say it casually with a smile. It has to show that you're not too dependent on his response. Maybe even give a little chuckle or make a joke like, "Usually guys don't get afraid of me until after the third date."

But try and open him up to a conversation to where he can say how he really feels without having to worry about your feelings, whether he's interested in you or not.

[Kwiz]

Okay I'm not going to read everyone's comments, but I would approach him and say, "Hey I didn't make you uncomfortable did I?" But you have to say it casually with a smile. It has to show that you're not too dependent on his response. Maybe even give a little chuckle or make a joke like, "Usually guys don't get afraid of me until after the third date."
The first question should do the trick just fine.. but that second one is guaranteed to make him feel like he's on his toes 24/7.

[I Monkey]

Just post your picture and we'll know what he thinks:innocent: :p:whoops: :watson: :hat:

[Idlethought]

Lea if hes being...unapproachable then jjust remember theres PLENTY of other dudes out there who would GLADLY have you.

[Jay]

^ Rightest thing said in this thread so far.

Also, Lea, check PM.

[Xuande]

I remember the photo you posted a while back. Nobody should be able to resist a winning smile on that face!

[FOBulous]

So have you talked to him yet?

[PopCulturePooka]

Tell him the Aussie guy keeps saying 'FUCK DAMN' about you.

That ougtha smack his head into gear.

[CrazyAce86]

Side note: This is why the whole dating thing is annoying as hell. It would be so much better if people just got together and screwed / screwed around without all the angst. *sigh*

Back to Topic: :clap: Guys, like girls, are two types: Those With Confidence and Those That Panic. It's just a luck of the draw on which you'll get, and once you have that figured out, it's not hard to manipulate another date.

And there's my worthless advice, because trust me, I rely mostly on my side note. :yes: