I'd like to have your opinion on this.

[Anna]

Yes, this is my first thread, since I'm not much of a poster. I just wanted to share something that happened recently with what I consider intelligent people.

By the way, this is quite a long post so brace yourselves.

Well, let's say I have this... 'friend'. Let's call him Bob. Bob is a little... extreme, to say the least. He hates black people, Arabs, anyone who isn't European actually. To top it all off, he acknowledges and is PROUD of being racist. Sick, I know. He hates them and wants to kill them. He also feels the same way about gays. (Take note though, not lesbians for some, AHEM, strange reason.) This is important to the story.

In Québec, during either the 3rd, the 4th or the 5th of May, we will all have a 3 hour writing exam. To prepare for this, the teachers have given us some sort of preparation booklet. (Not sure how you'd say it in English.) It contains texts that we have to read, take notes on and write a text about them... Simple enough. Each grade has different texts. He's in a grade higher than me, and by some weird twist of fate, his document was about homosexuality. I wouldn't have known about this, but he had to start writing everywhere on it "******* ***" (Guess the words.) and "THAT'S NOT RIGHT! KILL THEM ALL!" and decides to put the pictures up of this on his MSN space. At this point, I can't take him anymore and am very angry at him.

Bob likes (loves as he says, but you can't trust us at this age either.:bang:) this girl. Let's call her Jan. Anyways, in math class, I was talking with one of my friends. The conversation went something like this:

"Ugh, you know, I can't believe they gave us so many texts when the exam is next week. Hey, you know what? I have a 'friend'... -tells story-."

"Oh yea? What a psycho!"

"Yea. You know, some crazy Russian." (It was a joke, I have nothing against Russians and have quite a few Russian friends.)

"Oh, Russian? Is he tall and blonde by any chance? Named 'Bob'?"

"Yea, you know him?"

"Yea, he likes my friend Jan."

Turns out he never told her anything about what he thought about people. (I wonder why?) Anyways, Jan's friend is going to tell her everything and I just pretty much ruined all his chances with this girl that is, to him, one of the only thing that makes him happy. All this was an accident. I feel like what I did would have happened one day; he's so extremist, he'd tell her one day for sure. But anyways, do you think I made a mistake by intervening with his things?

[Shishio]

You did nothing wrong.

If Jan does not like people like Bob, then, as you say, he would have ruined his chances with her anyway. Besides, you didn't know this would happen, but even if you did, I would still say you did nothing wrong.

[Kiari]

I don't think it's a mistake. You didn't intentionally sabotage his attempts at getting a girl, and I highly doubt he could have kept her anyways. You also didn't say anything but the truth.

If he doesn't want to be known as a hateful bigot... then he'll have to not be one.

[Tekdude]

Maybe Jan's an extreme racist too, and everything will work out in the end? They can be crazy psycho racists together.

If that's not the case, then the best outcome would be it opens his eyes a little and he changes his ways. Worst would be he disowns you.

[Jon885]

I think you may have made an unintentional mistake. The worst that could happen is he could take violent action against you. If he talks about killing people I wouldn't put it past him. Is that him in your avatar? The blond one I mean.

[Langosta]

I have a friend kind of like yours, he doesn't go as far as to say he wants kill those kind of people (and he certainly doesn't approve of lesbians) but I've never seen him have a friendly interaction with a non europian (actually there are plenty of types of europians he doesn't like either, slavics, french and so on).
He thinks I'm silly for being disconcerned with race, and likes to say "Look you don't share any cultural bonds with the bastards, fact is a lot of them are just as racist against us, and they're bloody annoying. No need for the lot of them and I'd steer clear if you want to enjoy yourself." So you can see that's the kind of guy he is.
But what surprises me is he has a girlfriend, who I used to think was just a cute normal girl. She doesn't stand out much and I kind of wondered why she liked him. I eventually found out
A black guy who I guess was having a bad day or something passed three of us by, myself the aforementioned racist and his girlfriend. He looked over to the racist guy and simply had to say "Hey you dat ignant hater aint you?" . I'll spare the rest but a bit of a heated conversation (if you can call it that) proceded one side in ebonics and the other sounding like Hitler in English. It didn't go on long before they got into a fight (racist won, he always does and I think that just makes people hate him more) but while they were fighting his girlfriend told me "Oh I hope he really kicks that nigger's ass propperly, to think the nerve of him approaching us like he was equal."
On a few other occasions she had said some strange things, very anti feminist also.
But the main point is that most of the time they go about their own bussiness and hardly have to interact with people they don't like. While they're segregated they are some of the most polite well mannered and fun to be around people I know.
Crazy psycho racists can surprise you

[Kwiz]

But anyways, do you think I made a mistake by intervening with his things?
A mistake in the long run? No, you did your duty as a good friend.

But in the short term you'll want to be wary of Bob's reaction (I'm sure this has already crossed your mind). Will you be safe?

[Masa the Masta]

I always fuck bob up

[El_CJ]

What you need to do is stalk him day and night, sabotaging everything he tries to do until he gets frustrated enough to kill himself. To make sure he doesn't kill you instead, you'll want to be as stealthy as possible.

Or you could just gather a group of non-white, non-heterosexual friends, and lynchmob his ass. Make sure to take lots of pictures, though.

[Beowulf]

Dude, seriously, fuck Bob. The best thing you could do for him is to buy him a white robe and hood, that way no one will know its him. Then he can say whatever he wants and no one will know! Brilliant, I know.

http://www.farmworkers.org/bracero5/kkk.gif

See! You have no clue who these guys are! I'm such a genious.

[Praetorian]

It's not uncommon for people to radically change to suit the person they like more. Maybe you, by mistake, ruined his one chance of recovering from his racism. The reason he probably never told anything to these people was because, deep inside, he knows it's wrong and very frowned upon.

Why did you feel the need to tell her, anyway?

[MeneerDijk]

I don't even think you made a mistake. If your friend bob tries to hide his true colors for this girl then that's his problem, not your responsability. Sooner or later this girl would have found out anyway. If she doesn't mind then there's no problem. If she does mind then you have saved her from being lied to.

[Renter]

Uh dude, you just put your pal in the shitter. That's just something you don't do. I never understood the value of asinine pranks or tricks such as this. All they do is create hate.

We ALL change our reflections and attitudes according to circumstance and company, especially when trying to "hook up" with the opposite sex. The fact that he didn't reveal the extent of his beliefs is absolutely no excuse to do anything. And be honest, did you not exaggerate at all when telling the tale to your female friend?

Who knows, maybe he might've become less of a bigot if she had learned of his attitudes gradually and worked on it. Now you'll never know.

Sad thing is, you're a snitch, dude. No one likes a snitch. Learn from this and don't do it again.

[Jay]

So you'd be cool dating an extremely racist person who by the sounds of things isn't shy on telling people he wants these races dead, and might just act on those feelings if one of these races happens to rub him in what he feels is 'the wrong way'?

That's nice.

[Renter]

White hair, blue eyes. You don't get any more Aryan than me <3. Racist girls make me hot.

And besides, that's totally beside the point. If you want to use the racism as an excuse for ratting people out, well now you'd git along just fine in good ole texas.

[Jay]

Don't get me wrong - in most cases I'd more than agree with you. But in cases like this I'd do all I can to ward chicks away from a guy that wishes death upon certain races.

[Anna]

Well, I know he's capable of changing and that's what makes me think I might have made a mistake. Up until now, he used to hate the Quebecois (not sure how you say in English, Quebecers?) too. But since she's one, he sort of... changed his view to accomodate her. Also, I'm sure she isn't racist because her friend told me so.

I didn't exagerate at all what he does: He tells me all the time that when he's 'in power', he'll turn whatever he rules over Communist, fly out all Asians, and kill the black people, Arabs and homosexuals. It kills me everytime when he says it. No matter what I say ("What's so wrong about them?", "Why do you think you're right?" and just plain "Shut up.") he'll continue the next day or another time. I considered him my friend only in the moments he doesn't talk about it.

If he ever finds out that I wrecked his chances, I don't know what he'd do. I called him homosexual for a joke once, and he started shouting at me, calling me nazi (The only reason he calls me that is because I wear a shirt with the German flag on the sleeves.) and a whole lot of other things that I think would be censored out. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to beat me up or something, but honestly, I'm not all that scared of him. He might be tall, but he is so skinny, he must weight a lot less than me. He tried to hold my hands once and failed miserably.

Anyways, maybe this'll all make him reconsider what he thinks. Maybe she can finally get something through his thick skull. I hope so anyways, he's not a bad person in general.

Edit: And no, this isn't him in my icon. It's a picture from a German movie that I love.

[Jay]

He sounds like a liability. You say he changes his views on racism when someone (like a girl) gives him incentive to. Other than that, he just goes on hating and wishing death upon.

Sounds like the best thing you could do is tell him to take a long walk off a tall building.

[Anna]

lmao, I did tell him once that I hope he finds out he's gay and suicides. It was long ago and he doesn't care what you say to him. I just settled with not talking to him anymore.

[Jay]

If you really want him off your back, you should bait him into a really embarrassing trap. Then he'll be too embarrassed to talk to you anymore. :)

[Roxie]

You did nothing wrong...but I do have problems with the idea that people like Bob should ever deserve to be happy.

How do you stay friends with a guy like that? That just boggles me.

[Langosta]

Size isn't everything in a fight.. but really if he's your friend I doubt it'd come to fists.
I dunno if anybody cared about my earlier post, but I think having all these preconcieved notions against racists isn't that much different than the racists themselves.
The post above mine, unless somebody else posts first said something like "I don't know why people like bob should ever deserve to be happy."
Everybody should be happy, and they're entitled to their own views. Even if those views trounce all over somebody else's. They can still coexist
I mentioned my racist friend and not once has he ever approached any minority or had any problem besides when somebody confronted him. There are racists who aren't the same and who actively go out and try to do something about the other racists, but that's a completely different matter.
If you're really going to be tolerant that means you have to accept that ideas different than yours no matter how radical can exist so long as (the same as yours) the people don't act on those ideas to hurt anybody.
Otherwise you're just a hypocrit as far as I'm concerned, with completely as much hate as the racists you'd like to see (insert negative action here)

[Lisa M]

As a girl, I would want to know that about a boy before getting involved with him.

Worst thing a guy can do to a girl, in my book, is misrepresent himself.

[Jay]

Lisa, out of interest, if I told someone a guy you're interested in is heavily racist, then they told YOU, would that change your view of him? And by how much?

[Anders]

I concur with seemingly everyone else in regards to your actions. It's a bit of a stretch, but I think everyone feels the desire to say "can't you see?" to people they care about. Even if you don't know this Jan person, you did the right thing by indirectly informing her of Bob's true nature. Chances are, if Jan and Bob started a relationship, Bob would keep his mouth shut about his opinions. Then when the relationship developed into a more serious one, Bob would start pressuring Jan to agree with his real feelings on diversity. If Jan is strong, then she would break off the relationship right there, but regardless, life would be hell for her.

[Jay]

Very right, Anders, I agree with that entirely.

[Lisa M]

Lisa, out of interest, if I told someone a guy you're interested in is heavily racist, then they told YOU, would that change your view of him? And by how much?

I would talk to Bob about it first.

[BigJDiesel20]

What you need to do is stalk him day and night, sabotaging everything he tries to do until he gets frustrated enough to kill himself. To make sure he doesn't kill you instead, you'll want to be as stealthy as possible.

Or you could just gather a group of non-white, non-heterosexual friends, and lynchmob his ass. Make sure to take lots of pictures, though.

Sorry but in this day and age angry white kids don't kill them selfs like the good old days.

Look here and see what im talking about.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tvglTHl32YM&search=X-play :gangster:

[Renter]

Hello-o, isn't anyone here noticing that no matter what the OP MEANT by snitching out to a random female in a closed environment, the actuality is that he made Bob socially "unwanted" in non-bigot surroundings. Assuming their age to be midteens from the way he defined Bob's age... That. Just. Sucks.

Women of that age are incapable of keeping that kind of stuff secret. Even if the snitchee didn't know "Jan" personally, it would've gotten around to her. So, you basically pointed him towards bigoted girls and similar company. Go you.

Now, personally I believe that everyone should be treated equally AND be given a chance no matter what their social backgrounds, attitudes or personal minority groups may be. Even though you might like seeing racists "get the stick", the truth is they have the right to their opinion just as the next gay or black person does. Anna(OP) snitched out something that Bob was obviously comfortable enough in his/her presence to mention. That makes him/her a snitch. Now, if it's a woman, that's all right. It's just the way they are.

If not, I wouldn't lift one finger to defend him against any reprisal Bob may feel appropriate.

[Roxie]

I'll ignore your sexist remarks and address the real issue here.Hello-o, isn't anyone here noticing that no matter what the OP MEANT by snitching out to a random female in a closed environment, the actuality is that he made Bob socially "unwanted" in non-bigot surroundings. Assuming their age to be midteens from the way he defined Bob's age... That. Just. Sucks.

And that's just one consequence for harboring such opinions. Bob'll have to deal with that. It comes with the territory.
Anna(OP) snitched out something that Bob was obviously comfortable enough in his/her presence to mention. That makes him/her a snitch.

If not, I wouldn't lift one finger to defend him against any reprisal Bob may feel appropriate.

For her to "snitch" implies it was a secret in the first place and I'm betting it wasn't. She told the truth and he'll have to deal with consequences of his views. Bob has no right for any sort of reprisal at all.

[Jerith]

Bob sounds like the kind of guy who's on www.dontdatehimgirl.com

[ShadowDeth]

Hey, blatant racists don't deserve to be cock-blocked. :(

[ShadowDeth]

Hello-o, isn't anyone here noticing that no matter what the OP MEANT by snitching out to a random female in a closed environment, the actuality is that he made Bob socially "unwanted" in non-bigot surroundings. Assuming their age to be midteens from the way he defined Bob's age... That. Just. Sucks.

Women of that age are incapable of keeping that kind of stuff secret. Even if the snitchee didn't know "Jan" personally, it would've gotten around to her. So, you basically pointed him towards bigoted girls and similar company. Go you.

Now, personally I believe that everyone should be treated equally AND be given a chance no matter what their social backgrounds, attitudes or personal minority groups may be. Even though you might like seeing racists "get the stick", the truth is they have the right to their opinion just as the next gay or black person does. Anna(OP) snitched out something that Bob was obviously comfortable enough in his/her presence to mention. That makes him/her a snitch. Now, if it's a woman, that's all right. It's just the way they are.

If not, I wouldn't lift one finger to defend him against any reprisal Bob may feel appropriate.

Here here. And it's hardly sexist if it's accurate. Teenage girls can't keep their mouths shut.

But to finish responding to you - lol! exclamation point. Good, honest stuff. I couldn't agree more about the situation. Yeah yeah, a lot of people feel the need to give racists shit, but as Renter mentioned - they have the right to their opinion as much as the next guy. To think otherwise it to be prejudiced!

[Bob]

If you call him Bob he must be awesome

[Jerith]

Have a racist opinion all you want but keep it to yourself. But if you act on those opinions there are hate laws in Canada that deals more harshly with that sort of situation.

I'd cockblock a bigot/asshole anyday.

As to the OP 'snitching' on Bob, thats BS... She just related a story of Bob's actions as an extremist responce to the material in the test prep. It was after the fact, and after the other person agreed it was a poor responce, that they realized who they were talking about. If Bob has reason to belive his opinions where a secret, why was he DOCUMENTING them on test prep material. Condoning the killing a minority in writing could be compairable with hit lists kids write before they go shooting up a school. An extreem compairison, yes. But I belive bigotry needs the behavior modifications because its the mirror reflection of the same attitude that terrorist hold. An unjustified hate of another person.

[Jay]

If I had a thumbs up emote to use, I'd use it right here. Nicely said.

[Mysticalmelody]

I have no respect for people who are racist, especially if they actually consider using violence against those people they hate. If they treat people with no respect just because they are different, then they shouldn't expect to get much respect from me. I'll screw them over if I get the chance for sure, especially if that chance is revealing to someone they like their idiotic beliefs.

[paul]

Here here. And it's hardly sexist if it's accurate. Teenage girls can't keep their mouths shut.


Thats pretty much right, unless a girl has zero friends, its bound to get out. I look at my female friends, all they do is talk about other people, and when asked why, they say its fun. I'll just blame this on some deep rooted human social attribute and not Anna :P

[gentlemanandscholar]

Whoa I just noticed your location. So this guy lives in the english side of Quebec and hates frenchies? What the fuck? On top of that, he hates so many people in such a mixed pot of nationalities. Crazy. I know some racist kids myself, but I've never met a Canadian that goes as far as wishing death upon other races.

[paul]

Holy crap! Your post made me realize that I also came in contact with some guy who lives in Quebec and is racist to the point where he calls himself nazi. oO
Maybe its the same guy! :P

[Anna]

Haha, I honestly never expected to get this many responses. Anyways.

My intentions were never to gossip, honestly. The timing just felt right: I was furious at him because it happened last night, we were talking about the exam, there was 5 minutes before the end of the school day and the conversation was sort of dying down. Please note that I never really want to rat him out. It just so happened that she knew him because of Jan. I didn't even know she was friends with Jan, I never saw them together before.

The funny thing is, he calls me a Nazi while he's the racist. I never understood why to this day. He says he agrees with some of the National Socialist Movement (www.nsm88.com if you have the stomach for it.) and hopes they win the elections. Like, this kid is seriously fixed in his ideas. I'm sure that if Jan ever tells him to screw off, he's going back to hating Quebecoise again.

Oh, and by the way, he's not Canadian. He's Russian and he lived in Uzbekistan through out a lot of his life.

[Trump]

You were concerned about some of the things this guy said. Then you told a friend about what you felt, which is perfectly normal! If someone's actions and image makes its way from person to person that is not anyone's fault but that person. If he ruined his own chances with a girl, how can you feel badly about that? Besides, if it is as big a deal as you make it seem, the relationship wouldn't have worked anyway. You probably saved them both some grief.

[ruaidhri]

My mother always used to say “ You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t” That’s a simpler way of saying that everything you do or don’t do is an action with consequences. Telling your friend about Bob’s racism was an action that may stop any romance between him and Jan. Conversely, if you had not told your friend about Bob’s racism there also would have been consequences. Anders presented a plausible outcome when he wrote:

“…if Jan and Bob started a relationship, Bob would keep his mouth shut about his opinions. Then when the relationship developed into a more serious one, Bob would start pressuring Jan to agree with his real feelings on diversity. If Jan is strong, then she would break off the relationship right there, but regardless, life would be hell for her.”

The truth is that’s a mild outcome. It could be much worse, even abusive. People similar to Bob have been dangerous to the extreme. They have caused much suffering and even death.

I believe a good rule of life is to beware of zealots of any flavor. Hatred is an extreme. Racism is an extreme. It tells a lot about the person harboring such radical opinions. Yes, as some have suggested, there is honor in maintaining the trust of your friends. But, Bob was not secretive about his racist opinions. It was really Bob, not you, that closed the door to his romantic opportunities. Bob, like everyone must suffer the consequences of his actions.

[seiji]

What was the question here?

You have a crazy friend.
You told a story about your crazy friend to another friend.
Your second friend recognized the crazy friend and decided the object of his affections should know how crazy he is.
Unless Bob ever said to you, "now, don't tell anyone this, but I think we shold kill all the fags," what makes you think you did anything wrong?

Bob has a right to hate whatever and whomever he wishes, as long as he doesn't actually hurt anyone.
Jan has a right to either date or not date bigots like Bob.

This is high school, right? He'll find other girls. Or turn gay. I'd like that.

[Roxie]

:rofl: :rofl: I like your style!!

[Jay]

Seconded. :D

[ShadowDeth]

Thats pretty much right, unless a girl has zero friends, its bound to get out. I look at my female friends, all they do is talk about other people, and when asked why, they say its fun. I'll just blame this on some deep rooted human social attribute and not Anna :P

Which is exactly why it doesn't bother me! I've learned that a long time ago, and it doesn't get to me.

I mean, would you hit a dog when it shits on your rug? That's just what they do.

[Masa the Masta]

Wtf? I'd hit my dog. I'd just slap him on his muzzle though. Not a hard slap, but a finger spank. "No!"

[Psychochink]

You could always send Bob along to a SHARP event. With his simplistic views on race politics, he'd be ecstatic for about 5 minutes...

[ShadowDeth]

Wtf? I'd hit my dog. I'd just slap him on his muzzle though. Not a hard slap, but a finger spank. "No!"

So a nice, firm smack is in order when girls gossip? I'll try your advice out tomorrow at college.

[lady suzie]

i hope you can deal with firm smacks. you'll be getting a lot yourself.

[ShadowDeth]

Context is everything, Suzie.

[EvilFred]

Everyone who's saying that women and girls are all gossip mongers that just can't help but spread secrets can shut the fuck up. Seriously. Whether you wanna face it or not, you are being sexist and making sweeping generalizations.

As for the original poster, I don't think you did anything wrong. You weren't lying or spreading rumours, you were only telling the truth. If Bob doesn't want to be alienated perhaps he should rethink his views (or keep them to himself).

[seiji]

I don't care how obnoxious he is as long as he's far away from me.
My point was that if he doesn't sleep with girls, he can't pass on his hatin' genetics to the next generation.
Also, everything I say is a joke.

[Killuminati]

PLain and simple racism= ignorance. And it's hard to argue with an ignorant person. So your "friend' does not sound very intelligent to me... Kick him to the curb if he's that much of an idiot.

[The Republic]

im not gonna comment on the social situation here, except for one idea:

Its been said before, but I cant stress how important it is to accept all views people might have, no matter how diverse or extreme, so long as those views do not harm or others.

If hitler lived next door to me (say its the 1930s before WW2), and I knew he never hurt anybody or anything even though he did have extremist views, I would try my best not to let his views influence my perception of him. It's his right to hold those views, and thinking something has to be done about people who hold extreme views just shows ignorance and intolerence on their part.

The sad thing is, we see this kind of thing every day in the world. Socialist governments (communist) are ignorant against the wealthy and intelligent/skilled. They are incapable of seeing past the notion that it is hard to sympathize with the wealthy or powerful. THerefore, the natural human jealosy/envy of those with money takes root and Yatzee! You have communism.


Another example is affrmative action. Regardless of how you look at it, it is discrimination against the majority (white males) in this country.however, people think it is just because it's ok to discriminate when it's against the majority, right? wrong. It is DISCRIMINATION noetheless. And I am sickened that our country goes by it. We would be much better off by just not requiring anyone to fill out "race idetifyers" when applying for jobs or college and going solely on qualifacation, grades, or aptitude. Sure, it's hard to side with the wealthy or powerful, but beleive it it not when you use things like affirmative action against them, it is still discrimination.

I am a white male.

Is it fair that I as a white male am not judged on the same level as, say, a hispanic male? Is it fair that I am not judged on the same level as, say a white female? Even though my qualification for, say, a job could be exactly the same as theirs, chances are I wont get the job because I am white... And male. Is this still a land of equal oppurtunity? it's really hard to say yes.

I think this issue is largely being overlooked because of what has happened in the past (ie: whites and males being in power over other groups/ females, white ensalvement of blacks, nazi movement, etc). But is it fair that I have to suffer from the wrongdoings of previous white men simply because I am a white man?

I saw once, in high school, a friend of mine (hes white) get suspended because a hispanic kid called him a "Nazi KKKer" and my friend got really offended because both his granparents died in WW2 and called the hispanic kid a "Wetback." My friend (white male) got suspended and the other student (hispanic male) didn't receive any disciplinary action. hmm...

Sry bout the long post, just needed to rant about not being accepted to UC Berkley because of the above circumstances.

[delen]

IMO: don't hang out with racists