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Mushu
08-24-2005, 01:35 AM
Last Friday was the last day of work of the summer job I had, it was a boring job.

One of my coworkers also a summer worker, said we should all go out on Friday and celebrate 2 days earlier and everyone agreed. Friday came and most people couldn’t come, bastards, so it was me and him. This guy is one funny mother fucker; he likes old school comedies such as Delirious, raw and Richer Pryor. He is on of the funnies Swedes I ever met.

We decided to go clubbing that night, but he wanted to get couple of beers before heading to the club. So we went to a pub he visits when he wants to have beer and hang with the fellas, it had 3 pool tables. We got a table and they started to drink and play pool.

I don’t drink, before it was because of religions reasons, but now a days I just don’t want to and people can’t comprehend that. After like an hour of drinking and playing pool (I get sugar high and after having couple glasses of sprite and coke I’m mister party). He came up to me and pointed to 3 girls sitting at a table across the room and told me he would give me 100 kr (12.87 USD) if I went to their table, faced one them, that had shoulder look, dark hair and said ‘Bonjour mademoiselles, I’m the French tickler, I’m here to please the women, I see you are bored oui oui?’ in the best French accent I could.

Now hundred 100 kr (12.87 USD) isn’t much but I wouldn’t come back empty handed when I got back. So I drank up the last glass of sprite, took a bite of the lemon slice and started walking towards the girls. On my way there I had to bite my tongue in order not to laugh before I reached them.

That hurt too much and having lemon juice still in mouth I didn’t want to cut my tongue so instead I start to make my hands into fists with my thumb inside and pressed gently. The girls didn’t notice me and kept talking to each, thank god. So I reach their table, they looked at me, I looked at them dead in the eyes and without breaking a laugh I said ‘Bonjour mademoiselles, I’m the French tickler, I’m here to please the women, took out my tongue and moved it quit fast up and down (like giving head to a girl, for you that didn’t get it) and before I could say the last part, the dark haired one bitch slapped me back to Bangkok.

My friend, while drinking his Guinness, saw this and sprayed the floor with the clunk he had in his mouth. The other girls looked shocked and the one that slapped me looked piss, which I don’t know why, because if I was a girl and a dark, handsome guy with bracer walked up to me and my friend and said that, I’d have laughed my ass, but I guess I’m not a girl and everyone isn’t like me.

I lend back, turned and started slowly to walk back to my friend while trying really hard not to laugh. Seeing as my friend, literally on floor laughing his guts out, I couldn’t hold it anymore and start to laugh myself, hard.

After 15min of hard laughing and 100 kr richer, I looked at the girls and they were all looking at us and laughing so we decided we would go over there and talk to them and explain the whole thing. So we went over to explain the whole and we ended up staying and chatting with them for an hour so when my friend asked them what they were going to do the rest of the night as we were heading to a club and asked them if they wanted to join us.

The dark haired one, Lisa, said that they were going to her house to play Sing start on the play station 2. My friend who also has the game, be the ways it’s a great game really, explained that he has the game and that loves it, so Lisa asked if we wanted to hang with them instead.

Now seeing that they were 3 and we were 2, I felt bad for the third girl as I had my eyes set on Lisa and my friend already picked one.

As smart or as horny I’m I said I could call up a friend who also likes Sing Star and had a car and he could pick us up if that was okay with them, they were more then happy.

I got one of those looks from my friend that said ‘Smooth move man, Stand up and take a bow’.

So I called up my friend and upon hearing there girls involved he said he would come as fast as he could and he did.

At Lisa’s house (her parents) we started playing Sing Star and had a blast. After an hour or so Lisa went to the kitchen to get drinks and I went after her to give her a hand. At the kitchen we started to talk and again she apologized and as a bastard as I’m I started to play the sympathy card. She explained that she thought I was cute the moment I walked in the pub and was checking me out the whole time I was there, and her friend was checking out my friend and when I walked to her, she was nervous as hell. And when I said the things I said she didn’t know how to react and I said actions speak louder then words and again she started to feel bad and apologize.

After couple of min of making out she walked to the living room, me behind her and informed the other she was going to sleep and that her room and her brothers room free as she was going to sleep in my parent’s room. Her family was at the country where they had a summer house.

So we went upstairs.

In the morning I got up and went to her room and her brother’s room and woke up my mates. I told her that I had to go to work early, which was party true. I’ve 2 jobs, one that end and one that's illegal at a restaurant, but I didn’t start work until 21 pm. So we left.

As my mate dropped me off home, he said he owned me one and I said big time.

Tired I walked up the stairs opened the front door went to my room and took my cloth off. I threw myself in bed and covered myself with the covering thinking why didn’t I get her phone number why, I could have hit that ass more…more…more…..while a smile across my face I fell in sleep at 7 am, not to be wake up till 7pm.

D-pad
08-24-2005, 01:40 AM
Take a bow Mushu..........You earned it.

Mushu
08-24-2005, 01:41 AM
hehe, now i can be without sex for 3 more month :D

Mushu
08-24-2005, 01:47 AM
some of you guys might ask ' HOLY BATMAN, how did you survive 3 month' well ill tell ya. Working 2 jobs and dreaming about goin to japan keeps you busy. i wasnt even thinking sex that night it just happened and im glad

D-pad
08-24-2005, 01:49 AM
i wasnt even thinking sex that night it just happened and im glad
Well it wouldbe wrong if you where angry about it. :D :D :D

Daishikaze
08-24-2005, 01:54 AM
Man, How could you forget to ask for her number? Kick yourself hard

Mushu
08-24-2005, 02:00 PM
i rewrote it as it didnt have linebreaks and ended up merging into a white ball of text :D

Loc
08-24-2005, 04:53 PM
hahaha nice story Mushu.
Sounds like something we'd do :D
At least you know where she lives though, you could pay a surprise visit ;p

Mushu
08-25-2005, 01:51 AM
hahaha nice story Mushu.
Sounds like something we'd do :D
At least you know where she lives though, you could pay a surprise visit ;p

i thought about and came up couple of scenarios :D

Scenario 1#
After couple of days of thinking about Lisa I decided that I would pay a surprise visit, that would make her happy and I would get some more puttay.

I get ready and take the one and hour trip to her house by train and bus as I don’t have driving license. As I reach the front fence at big yellow villa, I start to sweat nervously. I swallow hard and continue through the fence onto front door steps. Upon reaching the door I swallow hard again and the ring the bell. Her father opens the door and asks can I help you young. I tell him that last Friday I slept with his daughter, in his bed and I didn’t get her phone. Upon were he beat the crap out of me, giving me a busted lip looking like jimmy walker from good times and a black. On the one and half hour ride back home, people were looking at funny, not because of the black eye because doesn’t show on me as I’m black. But because of the busted lip, people were thinking 'Man that nigga got huge lips'.

Scenario 2#
After couple of days of thinking about Lisa I decided that I would pay a surprise visit, that would make her happy and I would get some more puttay.

I get ready and take the one and hour trip to her house by train and bus as I don’t have driving license. As I reach the front fence at big yellow villa, I start to sweat nervously. I swallow hard and continue through the fence onto front door steps. Upon reaching the door I swallow hard again and the ring the bell. Her father opens the door and asks can I help you young. I tell him that I’m a friend of Lisa and I was would like to talk to her, is she home? Sir.
He call for Lisa and leaves alone at the door while giving me the eye as if saying 'I see you better not try to funny mother fucker'. Once again I swallow nervously and start to talk to her.

Me: hi
Lisa: hi, what are you doing here?
Me: well as we hit off pretty well on Friday I couldn’t stop thinking about you and was wondering if we could go grab a couple of coffee or something?
Lisa: I’m sorry but what happened on Friday was only one night stand and I’m sure you are a great guy but I’m ready for relationship just yet, see I gone through bad one recently and I’m not ready.
Me: ahh... that’s cool...okay, well take care.

I run like hell to buss and then to train being all screwed up.

The end.

I’ve couple more Scenarios but its 4 in the morning and I’ve to start adjusting to going to bed early and waking up early as I start university on Monday.

But I would go with Scenario 2, maybe she would say yes who knows, but I’m too much of a pansy to do, sorry :o

Daishikaze
08-25-2005, 02:26 AM
Dude, I say go for it.

You don't want to go through the rest of your life thinking about the one that got away do you? She could be the one, man. Take the chance, Worse case you get beat up, best case you get into a good relationship.

The Potentiality(did I make that up?) for a good relationship is more important than worrying about possibly getting beaten up by her dad (Beside, he might be a total wussy, you don't know (Do you?))

Josh
08-25-2005, 04:53 PM
Go for it. The worst she could do is say no.

Jay
08-27-2005, 09:29 AM
I tried this French Tickler yesterday. I put on the whole accent and everything. The girl LMAO'd and turned away, embarrassed. I asked her in the same accent why she's blushing and she said no one's ever been that bold before, so it was pretty sweet. *thumbs up*

Praetorian
08-27-2005, 11:16 AM
Great one, I'm going to try it sometime. However, I'm not sure how it'd work in Dutch.

Jay
08-27-2005, 11:24 AM
Great one, I'm going to try it sometime. However, I'm not sure how it'd work in Dutch.

I think the point is you put on a totally different accent, like the (wherever Mushu's from) to French. So, Dutch to Australian (for example).

stillbornsinger
08-28-2005, 06:05 AM
Drop by man!

Or if you're afraid, drop by, get her address, and mail/leave her a letter with your contact info.

l337m45t3r
08-28-2005, 06:55 AM
I tired something like that once, though it was more of a Cajun accent than a french one. Sadly the girl got the ref. There are a few things more embarrassing than haveing a pretty girl scream "NERD!!" at you in a crowded bar...

Mushu
08-28-2005, 02:06 PM
this is trade mark and whoevere tries it out, i want half of whatever they are getting HALF!

h2orowe
08-28-2005, 02:21 PM
I'll try this at school. I am intrigued.

l337m45t3r
08-29-2005, 07:56 AM
this is trade mark and whoevere tries it out, i want half of whatever they are getting HALF!

Okay, sure! Here's half the mockery I got for it.

Snake eyeS
08-29-2005, 10:50 AM
Its not about what he said nor is it about the accent. this guy has balls.. thats it, and im pretty sure he noticed the girl staring at him too:P
so he was pretty sure he could get the 100. Still pretty cool to use something like that as an opening sentence, it sure broke the ice.. but the girls seeing 2 guys rolling on the floor laughing was the finishing touch. nicely played. how you pulled it off without looking like a complete jerk amazes me.

Mushu
09-02-2005, 12:12 PM
*Snuggles up to the balls while saying never leave me*

Edit: im black and i live in sweden, ofcourse i notice when people are staring at me :D
its something kind of sense i tell ya, a worthless sense most times but a sense never the less

Wizdom
09-08-2005, 11:09 PM
Great story! and yes i think you got balls of steel too for doing it. If you do decided to check out lisa let me know what happens