Catcalls. We know they exist. But why?

[Expert Insomniac]

Now, this may seem kind of an odd question, but I have nowhere else to ask it where I might get an answer.

Now, for various reasons that I won't get into because they're boring, I don't have my driver's license. This means that when I am home, I am one of the few people in the L.A. area who actually utilize the sidewalks.

Now, as I walk down the street, innocently trying to get to my next destination, I tend to think to myself about important things, like how to invent cold fusion or what I should wear on a date tomorrow night.

As I'm going along, just about to discover what isotope would make my equation successful or what necklace would accessorize my top perfectly, I inevitably get pulled out of thought. By a car horn.

I look over to see if I've wandered into traffic, but nope: it's just two guys in a truck excited that they saw something with breasts moving.

I can't understand cat calls. I seem to have gotten every variety: the honk, the shout, the blown kisses, the suggestive hand motions; some guys even pull over to ask if I want a ride or want to give them my number, not even attempting to hide the fact that they want to get into my pants. (Not that they could. Girl's pants are made very tight these days.)

My question is: why? Does anybody know? At least when guys pull over, I understand they have hope that even though I know nothing about them except for the fact they have a car, that will be enough to make me want to blow them.

But the guys who shout, honk, whatever, but just keep on driving? I can't run at 60 miles an hour, or even thirty, so even if I wanted to bang them there's no way I'd catch up. So why do they do it? Does anyone here do that, or know anyone who does that? What exactly do they feel they/you are accomplishing by doing this?

[Myrsilus]

I have friends that go around in a car and pull up next to girls and talk to them. It makes me sad that they succeed a lot... They'll convince some girl to give them BJs or another sex act... It's horrible and I've turned down all offers to go along.

When they shout or honk at you, they are usually with friend, yes? It's because it's for kicks. They do it to express their masculinity and, well... balls to their friends. Most of the time they don't really hope to get in your pants, they just want to get your attention and laugh about it later. It's strange, yes... but some guys find enjoyment in this type of catcalling.

[Stephy]

I don't understand cat calls either.

In fact I am in the same situation as you. I have no license, and therefore stuck walking everywhere. There has not been a day (and I am not exaggerating this) where men of all ages have done rather insensitive manners that show disrespect towards me. The same as you have claimed above. The cat calls, the horn, the kiss blowing, and even pulling the car over and talking to me.

Doesn't it suck. I can't stand it. I'm trying to train myself to ignore it though.

[Jiant Flying Panda]

To be hounest I never really seen this done before.

But I have 2 lady friends that tell me about it back in high school. What's worse is that they were only 15 and 16. I don't know why men do it but I'm guessing it's mainly for the thrill.... And if they actually manage to get the girl in the car then that's an added bonus.

[Azrael]

i really like your style of writing. I'd catcall your brain if I could. =P

Anyway, having never done it myself, I can't really give you an accurate insight to it. I can only assume it's a means of false confidence. They can say they've made contact/communicated with you, but they've done so in a way in which they get to avoid potential rejection.

I guess it's like the guys who whoop and holler at the dancers on stage at the strip club. These girls are paid to take it, so the guys know they can get away with it. In real life, they'd never even dream of doing something like that, cause they know they'd get shot down.

[Stephy]

But I have 2 lady friends that tell me about it back in high school. What's worse is that they were only 15 and 16. I don't know why men do it but I'm guessing it's mainly for the thrill.... And if they actually manage to get the girl in the car then that's an added bonus.

I guess 15 and 16 is the age where the cat call are most common, because my friend and I are both 16 and this occurs on a daily basis.

To be honest the attention at first was okay, when its your first time and people are noticing you, but after you realize what they mean and its done a lot, it gets annoying.

Expert Insomniac, do you deal with the situation in a certain way? My friend likes to show the middle finger, but this only make guys laugh and enjoy that for some odd reason.

[Marblehead]

Does that ever work? My friend and I used to have arguments about this. He used to do it all the time. He didn't mean anything bad by it, he was just having fun. He was rather shocked when I told him that it usually freaked out all the chicks I've ever known.


I guess it depends on where you're from. I'm sure the girls in Bangkok don't mind it that much.

[Jiant Flying Panda]

I guess 15 and 16 is the age where the cat call are most common, because my friend and I are both 16 and this occurs on a daily basis.

To be honest the attention at first was okay, when its your first time and people are noticing you, but after you realize what they mean and its done a lot, it gets annoying.

Expert Insomniac, do you deal with the situation in a certain way? My friend likes to show the middle finger, but this only make guys laugh and enjoy that for some odd reason.

Whoa, sorry to hear that. I didn't know it was that common among girls our age.

I think it was implied, but what's worse is that the guys that do this to teenage girls are full grown men.

I think it's sad that me an 18 year old boy and his friends are more mature than some punk-ass 20 to 35 year old men. No offense to the men in here that do it *cough* Az *cough* ;).

What also boils my blood is that me an 18 year old gentleman (shut up Loc and Jay. Haha) rarely get the attention of these girls but when a jackass comes up to them in a car.....

[Stephy]

I think it was implied, but what's worse is that the guys that do this to teenage girls are full grown men.

You are so right! They are in fact grown men. I think this is what upsets me most.

[Psychochink]

Well, there's always the argument that they find you just so gosh darn attractive that they have to express it in some way, so as to make their amazement clear. :D

Or, y'know, they could be squealheads. I don't get it either.

*sigh* I wish random women driving by would catcall at me and pull over to offer me sex...

I guess it's like the guys who whoop and holler at the dancers on stage at the strip club. These girls are paid to take it, so the guys know they can get away with it.

As another of my infamous side notes, there's nothing more depressing than a dead silent strip club. Hey, if your job was to be attractive, how would you like it if you got on stage, were strutting your stuff and heard *crickets chirping*

[Jiant Flying Panda]

You are so right! They are in fact grown men. I think this is what upsets me most.

Were they contruction workers? Thats what I hear they mostly are.

[Myrsilus]

Well I don't think we have to think too deeply into this... I mean guys do this type of stuff because they feel empowered and it's just fun for some of them. And what can make this worse is some girls go along with it.

Once when my friends and I were cruising, they started calling out at some girls at a gas station. This was at night, just for the record. They acknowledged them with a yell, and one of my friends suddenly had the audacity to yell "Flash!" ... and sure enough, one of the girls pulled her shirt and bra over her head and wiggled her breasts.

My friends loved it. I felt a bit out of place being silent.

I agree with JFP, it can make us nice and proper guys really angry that some girls would rather go along with pigs like this. Especially when we make an effort to put ourselves out there. Oh well...

[Nessa]

Just don't be a hollaback girl.

[kensei]

Why for the catcalls?

Because a good portion of men are stupid.

[h2orowe]

Heh, I was raised by a single mother, and like when I was younger, and still a good portion now, most of my friends were girls, so I'm one of the few guys that don't treat women like a walking vagina.

[Expert Insomniac]

I have friends that go around in a car and pull up next to girls and talk to them. It makes me sad that they succeed a lot... They'll convince some girl to give them BJs or another sex act... It's horrible and I've turned down all offers to go along.

Wow... so there actually are girls who will just agree to get physical with random strangers? I mean, I can at least understand if a girl hooks up with a guy at a party... but does this mean they'll just put out for any guy that happens to slow down? Hmm. I figure at that point, you might as well become a prostitute, and get some cash for your troubles.

By the way Fujin, you are officially cool because you don't go along with your friends, and I love Katamari Damacy. (Though that game can start to warp your mind. I went to the movies with my friends last night, and looked around and thought of all the things I could roll up.)

i really like your style of writing. I'd catcall your brain if I could. =P

Awww, that's sweet.

"Hey, sexy thang! That's some hot syntax you got there. Wanna go to my place and conjugate some verbs?"

Expert Insomniac, do you deal with the situation in a certain way?

Not really. For the most part, I'm usually lost in thought or listening to music, so by the time it registers they're already out of sight. With the guys who stop and talk though, I get immense pleasure out of telling them incredibly obvious lies. Really. You should try it sometime. Tell some stranger your parents are dead because they got eaten by a T-Rex. People don't know how to handle information that is obviously false told in a heartfelt way.


Oddly enough, I find that I handle catcalls better when I'm feeling attractive. If it's a good day, meaning I've already consumed a disgusting amount of caffeine, then I'll simply laugh it off as I send ninjas to kill them and everyone they care about. But if it's near the end of the day, and I'm hot, sweaty, disheveled, and two miles away from home, that's when my inner voice starts screaming "FUCK YOU! I am NOT attractive right now, so just let me trudge along in a peaceful dehydrated daze!"

Greatest catcall story ever: I once got a catcall from a cop. Everyone talks about the LAPD being corrupt, but... damn.

[StormShadow]

A car horn is just like a guy at a party checking you out. The beep is only saying "Hey there, I'm a lookin', and I'm a likin'" You get people at a party come over to talk, or the guy at the bookstore come over and ask a painfully obvious question" It's the same deal, only it's gotta be quick, because the driver is on the go. Essentially, catcalling in the form of horn-honking is like a hit-line speed dating style.

*It does deserve to be said, however, that if intercourse was attained by stopping to talk to a girl at the side of the road, that is gross. Skanks do that. You don't want to be a skank, do you?

[Jay]

The point of the catcall is to prove to your buddies that you're a big man and have the balls to whistle/honk/yell at a chick. It's fucking stupid and I don't waste my time on it.

[Myrsilus]

Wow... so there actually are girls who will just agree to get physical with random strangers? I mean, I can at least understand if a girl hooks up with a guy at a party... but does this mean they'll just put out for any guy that happens to slow down? Hmm. I figure at that point, you might as well become a prostitute, and get some cash for your troubles.

By the way Fujin, you are officially cool because you don't go along with your friends, and I love Katamari Damacy. (Though that game can start to warp your mind. I went to the movies with my friends last night, and looked around and thought of all the things I could roll up.)
I know it sounds bad, but yes there are actually girls that do this. And they aren't prostitutes, either. Just girls that seem to fall for their "charm". I don't know, I don't go along to find out too much about these girls, but I am glad.

Awww thanks. :D I'm cool to another person, and that's a good thing. And another Katamari Damacy fan. I figured I was one of the very few on the board.

[Calz]

Catcalls... ah what a subject
I think the worst part about catcalls is that the people doing it generally do not know
the recieving end's age, but have to base it on guesses...
I got my first Cat Calls at 12
so either they were a big bunch of wandering pedos and I kept running into them or
they were confused about my age

[CNagy]

I agree with JFP, it can make us nice and proper guys really angry that some girls would rather go along with pigs like this. Especially when we make an effort to put ourselves out there. Oh well...
I used to feel the same way about this. I don't catcall, honk, etc, and I think the closest I've come to giving a stranger an unsolicited compliment was scribbling "Happy Valentines, Beautiful" on the back of one of my books and sticking it out through the sunroof (the woman in the car behind me looked like she was having a bad day.) In any case, it made me pretty bitter that some girls would choose those kinds of guys.

Then I realized that I couldn't care less if those girls went with those guys. People are people, and some people you don't want to be associated with, even if they are women. If a girl is the type to do that sort of thing, I wouldn't get involved with her anyway, so why should I care if she gets into some jackass's car and gives him a blowjob or flashes some random guy?

[Pete]

I thought catcalls were a warning to other drivers. Kind of 'Watch out for this assclown, they are easily distracted by shiny objects, breasts and are generally not watching the road'. The honking and swerving just further reinforce this - these people have barely made it onto the evolutionary ladder, and Darwin is doing his damnedest to off them by sending his best agent provocateurs to distract them - the attractive ladies.

Sadly, they still do the slowing down part of the ritual. The ideal is when they see a woman, start honking wildly then drive off the road into a lamp post at full speed, wolf whistling and head lolling backwards to catch a final glimpse of the lady in question.

To me this is nature's warning system to stay away from these folks - like in a cinema when some idiot starts yelling advice to the protagonists in a horror movie, he's basically saying 'I have mental cooties, watch out'.

[Mushu]

well girls next a grown, older man does that to you, just say to them 'OMG you could be my father' . That would show them and i glad this doesnt happen here in sweden, at least ivent heard it from my female friends

[Rogue_7]

nice avatar Calz! That guy cracks me up.

On topic, I have no idea. I know it happens, it's happened to my sister among others I know. Yet I have never had the desire to let some unknown woman know I think her legs are nice. It does seem like very strange behavior for sure.

[Praetorian]

'Default Catcalls. We know they exist. But why? '


I didn't know they really existed. Just thought it was something from movies and comic books. That's cool, guess you learn something new every day.

[Marblehead]

Ask them if they're your father. If they say something like," Do you want me to be your daddy?", say, "Yeah, I need you to pay for my Hepatitis C treatment, you deadbeat!"


:D

[JudoPorkChop]

I think it's something in the area of being able to express your inner male pig, but not be there at the point where doing so would normally get you slapped. As for construction catcalls, again, it's not like the woman's actually going to climb a few stories worth of scaffolding just to smack someone, and normally, they ain't got the time to stop and put the men in their place. So they say what they want, safe that they won't get rejected, and if they do it won't be something too embarrasing.

[Josh]

This happened not too long ago to me. I got catcalled by 3 girls driving by. They even pulled over to talk and they gave me a ride to my friend Dan's house. Nice bunch of girls they were.

But watch out, the other day in Spotsylvania County (Where I live) this girl was being catcalled by an illegal from El Salvador or w/e and she tried to ignore him but he got pissed, chased her down and beat her silly. She is still alive, but he broke some of her face bones. You just never know how people are going to react. What a horrible world.

[Praetorian]

I think it's something in the area of being able to express your inner male pig, but not be there at the point where doing so would normally get you slapped. As for construction catcalls, again, it's not like the woman's actually going to climb a few stories worth of scaffolding just to smack someone, and normally, they ain't got the time to stop and put the men in their place. So they say what they want, safe that they won't get rejected, and if they do it won't be something too embarrasing.


Yes, because only males do it. Evidence of that being the above poster that has experience with it too.

[JudoPorkChop]

Yes, because mostly males do it. It's rare for a woman to catcall a man, but it happens. Exeptions to rules...

[Praetorian]

Frankly I'd not mind being calledcalled by a bunch of 18 year old girls in a car though. In fact, it'd give me a rather large ego boost.

Yes. It can get even larger.

And also, I guess you're right that it's mostly men doing it. At least that's what it'd suspect seeing the posts in this thread. I've never seen it myself ever.

[h2orowe]

Heh, if I ever got cat called, I'd chase down the car, and be like.... "I love you" and they'd drive off, and I'd be left weeping in the middle of the street.

[Calz]

This happened not too long ago to me. I got catcalled by 3 girls driving by. They even pulled over to talk and they gave me a ride to my friend Dan's house. Nice bunch of girls they were.

I know some girls who've done catcalls before...
But most of us females don't do anything realitively catcall like
(except in the case we see a friend walking down the street...
It's great to see your friend's faces of surprise when you
call them a sexy mamacita and drive off laughing insanely)

[akitaka]

A few months back a friend and I were walking back from the library, and 3 jocks sitting on their balcony (1st floor) made a cat-call to which I was assuming was her chest (because, well...yeah). I took a halting stop, made a 90 degree turn to them, and stuck them with a Chris Walken. Nothing like interrupting a fantasy with a simple look; all I got was a half-hearted, "wut".

Catcallers = easy prey.

[setrict]

Some 'friends' find it amusing to honk/catcall from the passengers seat in order to embarass/annoy the driver. Probably a small percentage, but that's how it always happens to me.

[Jay]

Some 'friends' find it amusing to honk/catcall from the passengers seat in order to embarass/annoy the driver. Probably a small percentage, but that's how it always happens to me.

If we're talking about honking games, I love the ones where your mate owns a van.

You pack 3 people in the front, one driver, two passengers. Make sure you're on the extreme passenger side. As you're going down a street and see a man walking alone on the footpath, toot the horn and then quickly duck down under the dashboard. It'll look like two guys sitting suspiciously close together are beeping at men on the street.

And you get the pleasure of seeing the absolute shock on your mates' faces. :D

[Mojinr]

In what world don't catcalls work? I mean... usually from what I've seen they work... 75% of the time. Especially if money is flashed and mentioned. If you have the money, the car, the looks and a good eye for the "material girl" then words aren't needed. It's just cruising up to a chick, opening the door and flashing a wad of cash. No mess, no fuss.

Unfortunately I wouldn't know about the above from personal experiences... -_-;;

[tekkan]

Or even better. One of your drunken (male) friends decides to open the van door while you're stopped at a red light and invites the guy on the sidewalk to come in for some "fun".

[Roxie]

The Street Harasment Project (http://www.streetharassmentproject.org/)

I find catcalls threatening. Seriously.

I've men twice my age try to talk to me and it seriously freaks me out. I get scared for my safety and I know I'm not the only one.

Once, I saw one girl trying to walk to the train station and was being followed and yelled at by some man who was trying to talk to her.

Another girl I know has had her ass photographed by a random guy. The same girl was playing DDR and had her ass grabbed by some dude, luckily, she immediately punched him in the chest. Another time she was riding the train when a random man sat in the seat across the isle and began masturbating in her presence.

Another time I saw a girl being followed by a guy that wanted to talk to her, so I interrupted as if I knew her and asked her about classes and he left.

That shit is seriously scary.

It's harrasment and abuse to me, it makes my skin crawl and I want to yell at the top of my lungs "LEAVE US ALONE YOU SICK FUCK!"

I saw a documentary a woman made about it War Zone (http://www.mediaed.org/videos/MediaGenderAndDiversity/WarZone) and it so reflected my experience and the experience of others I know it was nuts.

[Daishikaze]

My question is: why? Does anybody know? At least when guys pull over, I understand they have hope that even though I know nothing about them except for the fact they have a car, that will be enough to make me want to blow them.


Watch Eddie Izzard's "Unrepeatable" Stand-up special, he delves into what possibly motivates such things, and its highly amusing.

[h2orowe]

Oh my god, if I ever saw a guy do that to a girl, regardless of his age, I will sock him in the fucking face. If I ever saw a man disrespect a woman by grabbing her ass, I'd break his hand. If I saw a guy masterbate in public, I'd stomp his dick, make sure he can't anymore, that is fucking disgusting.

[Expert Insomniac]

To all the men who fantasize about being catcalled, I understand how it can seem appealing and flattering, but if it happens at least once every ten minutes when you're tired and pissed off and the only thing keeping you sane is how cute Mitch Hedberg sounds when he says 'koala bears'... you'd start to get pissed.

Not to mention, as Roxie already did, sometimes it can go from the realm of annoying into frightening. I got my first catcall when I was twelve (though granted, I was already a B cup at that point.) The sad fact is, if there are two guys in a car who pull over to talk to me, I really wouldn't be able to do much to prevent one of them from grabbing me and pulling me away in a car. And while guys do get raped and sexually assaulted as well, it is rarer.

Lucky guys, free to walk around at three in the morning without having to be paranoid of everyone on the street...

However, I promise that should I ever drive by Josh, Praetorian, or h2orowe (because of course, I'll know who you are in real life instantly) I promise catcalls galore.

In what world don't catcalls work? I mean... usually from what I've seen they work... 75% of the time. Especially if money is flashed and mentioned. If you have the money, the car, the looks and a good eye for the "material girl" then words aren't needed. It's just cruising up to a chick, opening the door and flashing a wad of cash. No mess, no fuss.

Unfortunately I wouldn't know about the above from personal experiences... -_-;;

Out of curiosity, what exactly have you seen to make you think catcalls work? It just doesn't seem right... though after what Fujin wrote, nothing sems right anymore.

I'd also be interested in the areas, because if you drive up next to a girl, flash some cash, and she gets in... whether she calls herself that or not, she's a prostitute.

Watch Eddie Izzard's "Unrepeatable" Stand-up special, he delves into what possibly motivates such things, and its highly amusing.

There is an Eddie Izzard special I haven't seen? Well, this must be remedied at once!

[Kragar]

Not really. For the most part, I'm usually lost in thought or listening to music, so by the time it registers they're already out of sight. With the guys who stop and talk though, I get immense pleasure out of telling them incredibly obvious lies. Really. You should try it sometime. Tell some stranger your parents are dead because they got eaten by a T-Rex. People don't know how to handle information that is obviously false told in a heartfelt way.

So true. Even if you have a history of doing it to them, they get so involved in your expression that they don't understand the words.


Oddly enough, I find that I handle catcalls better when I'm feeling attractive. If it's a good day, meaning I've already consumed a disgusting amount of caffeine, then I'll simply laugh it off as I send ninjas to kill them and everyone they care about. But if it's near the end of the day, and I'm hot, sweaty, disheveled, and two miles away from home, that's when my inner voice starts screaming "FUCK YOU! I am NOT attractive right now, so just let me trudge along in a peaceful dehydrated daze!"

My sister once complained about this. She got more people flirting with her when she had jsut finished a rugby game and was gamey as hell than when she was dressed up and looking good. Strange.

Greatest catcall story ever: I once got a catcall from a cop. Everyone talks about the LAPD being corrupt, but... damn.

I knew some LAPD officers, and they're about as Guy as can be. If you're attractive enough to get catcalls, I'm surprised that there's only been one cop hitting on you. Maybe you just live in the wrong part of LA for it.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Okay, this may come as a shock, but when sitting around with male friends in a bar or whatnot, if a good looking woman walks by (with an absolutely stunning ass for instance, and a nice stride to go along with it that just makes it a sin not to stare) then we will comment on it to the other guy. This is normal male behaviour. Women would never dream of doing such a thing -- they wait until they're in the bathroom to discuss men.

Catcalling in just the natural progression of such analysis of strangers and the way they look. We evaluate people every day based on appearance, and folks who catcall just are giving feedback to the viewee. Nothing wrong with telling someone they look good, is there? Is it just because you don't know them?

During a drunken college weekend which I posted about on the old forums, 5 of us (both men and women) rated everyone with signs whoops and hollers who walked past our bench for a few hours. Almost everyone ignored us. I don't see anything wrong with that, since we're just saying what everyone else is thinking, and it's not like people are naive enough to think that people aren't looking and thinking about their appearance, so where's the harm?

They're just catcalls.

[Expert Insomniac]

Dearest Pierrot, if you actually think that women wait until they're in the bathroom to discuss random strangers, then you haven't been paying enough attention! Bathroom trips are only needed to ask for opinions about men on group dates. After all, if we went into the bathroom to discuss strangers, we wouldn't be able to say, "Hey, check out that guy's ass!", seeing as there would be a wall and some toilets blocking the view. Not to mention in a crowded club, if you lose sight of the man you're interested in... it's all over. No way you'll find him again.

Catcalling bothers me for many reasons. First of all, I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so incredibly often! But it would literally be a miracle if I could walk for ten minutes without someone trying to get my attention. On a basic level, because of my house placement it always takes me at least an hour to get anywhere by foot. On long walks, I like to get lost in thought. I mean, would you like it if everytime you went anywhere by foot, about every seven minutes someone shouted in your ear "PIERROT!" It can be startling, and it's just aggravating.

And I seriously doubt the catcalls have anything to do with my looks. I think some guys are just conditioned to honk at anything that has a pair of tits. Whenever I'm making the return trip home, I'm not a pretty sight. I'm currently around thirty pounds overweight, but I'm tired so I'm too lazy to pull my shirt over my gut. My clothes are stained with sweat, my hair is matted and nasty. I'm probably sunburned, not to mention that whenever I walk in the heat, my face turns bright red with a white patch of skin surrounding my mouth. This is VERY unattractive. Trust me.

One of the biggest parts, however, is the feeling of objectification. Being a man, this might not make quite as much sense, but I'll try to explain. As a woman, from the moment my mind can comprehend every authority figure in my life is warning me of the perils of sexual assault and rape. They drill you to the point where if you're ever outside alone, if you see a guy walking toward you, you can't help but feel wary. Now as you get older, you start to know people who have actually been attacked by either a stranger or an acquaintance. You start to feel even more scared. Especially if you yourself have been attacked, at that point you could be startled by a sixty year old man walking by. Whenever someone honks, whistles, blows kisses, yells inappropriate things, my guard goes up. I instantly back to the farthest part of the sidewalk I can, and survey the street to see if they have made a u-turn so they can pull over to talk to me (this happens about 30% of the time.) I can't feel safe when I walk down the street, because my adrenaline starts pumping as I hope that I make it home without any experiences that are too traumatizing.

I guess the closest thing I can compare it to is this: if everytime you walked somewhere, which is about every day (in my case at least), you had guys dressed like yakuza drive by and scream out "Fucking gaijin!" periodically. Every now and then, they would circle you around and follow you down the street. Taunting you, trying to get you in a fight.

Now, I can already hear your response, "But that's a threat, while a catcall is a compliment." no. It would be one thing if men who drove by looked at me in a way that says, "I think you're very pretty." But that's not what most guys do. Most guys drive by, and between the lewd gestures and the facial expressions, are saying only one thing, "I want to fuck you. Maybe I will."

And that's just creepy.

Which brings me to another question: Are there any girls that enjoy getting cat calls? I don't know any. Granted, they may be out there, and please correct me anyone if you know any. However, from the people I've talked to, not a single girl likes it. That should be a huge hint to any guys doing it for our benefit.

[Pierrot le Fou]

You do realize that when guys look at you with the 'I think you're pretty' look, it means that they are thinking of getting in your pants, but don't want to sink their chances before they get to talk to you, right? That's the whole point of attractive people -- wanting to screw them. It's called dating.

When they're driving by at 60mph, clearly they won't actually fuck you, so stating what they're thinking isn't going to hurt their non-existant chances.

I live in a town of 80,000 where my face is in the local paper every single month. I am the single most recognizable person in my city because I've had my face in the paper every month for 2 years, I've taught thousands of students who know me along with their parents, and I get stared at constantly when walking around town. And if you don't think that being stared at or being viewed as the token town-held foreigner is equivalent, you should see what happens when I go to the gym locker room, or to a public bath.

Imagine people staring directly at your genitalia when naked, and discussing it with their friends right in front of you, as well as asking incredibly inappropriate questions and finding it acceptable. I have learned to deal with that as well, and so I don't see how someone stating that they want to fuck you (which I guarantee plenty of men think about you every day) is any worse.

[Expert Insomniac]

I never said it was any worse. However, it annoys you when people talk about your naked genitalia? Well, it annoys me when I get catcalls. For the most part, catcalls are just that: an annoyance.

And I realize that men do want to fuck me. One of the most basic instincts in both men and women is to go out and fuck someone. However, once someone actually bothers to approach me with this in their head, that's when the warning signals go off and I start tensing up.

Yes, if a stranger approached me and in a sweet, soft voice told me I was pretty, I understand that 86% of the time they're fantasizing about me riding them naked. (Why only 86%? Because I've met many gay men who compliment me on my looks.) However, if someone is taking this approach because they don't want to sink their chances with me, I can feel safe. The fact that they care about their chances means that they also care about whether I want to have sex with them or not.

Men who go by and just outwardly portray their lust, they don't care if I want to have sex with them or not. This can be for two reasons: they know they don't have a chance (because they're rushing by at 60), or they know they could take it by force if they wanted (and watch that car suddenly turn around and head back towards me.) I guess the main reason behind the creepiness of catcalls is this: if anyone that pulled up next to me try to physically force me into their car, they would probably succeed. This is one of the reason that I am against self-defense classes for women: all it provides is a false sense of confidence. It is extremely rare that a woman is actually able to escape someone.

So there's the main difference between your scenario and mine. While your scenario is certainly humilating, annoying, awkward, uncomfortable... it's still safe. Unless I'm wrong, these guys are not going to pin you to the floor, ass rape you repeatedly, beat the shit out of you and leave you in a dumpster.

I do realize that 99.7% of the guys who catcall at me have completely innocent intentions. But there are also those who do not, and the closest I can come to protecting myself is assuming anyone who outwardly refers to me in an explicit sexual manner has the potential to harm me. Whether they will act on that potential is another story, but they do all have the potential.

[Pierrot le Fou]

We've meandered way off the beaten path that started this thread. You asked why people made catcalls. I pointed out that it's because they're saying what most people are thinking, because there are no consequences for it. Like the sexual banter that goes on around this forum. Half the teenage guys here would piss themselves if they were to actually walk up to a girl they liked and say some of the things they say here, but they have no problem saying them on the internet because there's no fear of rejection.

Same thing with catcalls. We'll say what we think to our friends, but never to women, because it would hurt our chances and wouldn't serve any real purpose. When flying by at 60 mph however, it can't hurt chances you don't have, so they're just letting their hormones do the talking. That's all I'm saying. I don't think it's particularly mature, and I wouldn't do it (errr, though I accidentally once announced that a couple girls we were passing were really hideous without thinking that the window was down and they could hear me, but that doesn't count, does it?), but I also think that as long as it stops at a honk or whatever, there's really nothing wrong with it. No laws broken and all that. Poor form, but so much in life is.

[Nessa]

This is one of the reason that I am against self-defense classes for women: all it provides is a false sense of confidence. It is extremely rare that a woman is actually able to escape someone.

Well, I think it's better to be prepared with knowledge of self-defense if an emergency arises, rather than be comepletely helpless. It may be rare for women to escape, but self-defense classes can't make your chances for escape worse, can it?

[Myrsilus]

Well, I think it's better to be prepared with knowledge of self-defense if an emergency arises, rather than be comepletely helpless. It may be rare for women to escape, but self-defense classes can't make your chances for escape worse, can it?
Indeed. Okay, let me level with you all... Many of you know I am a martial artist and I love to dabble in different arts. I have been in my fair share of martial arts and witnessed many others. There are many of extremely useful ones out there, but most of the time you will find a useless school. They will teach you to punch, kick, and maybe a throw or two. Simple enough, right?

Sad fact is if you are attacked, you can almost guarantee that you won't be ready to fight them. Why? You'll be in a panic and unable to think straight. All the moves you learned will be blurrs in your mind. Trust me, when I used to take only Tae Kwon Do, which deals majorly with kicks, I can remember dealing with TRULY vicious opponents that made me lose my composure... and when that happened it was all over. Many schools don't teach you how to keep calm or how to train moves to be muscle reflexes.

If you are going to take a self-defense class, make sure they teach you how to deal with ALL situations. Punch-kick-push will not work forever, especially is the attacker is hiding a weapon in case you put up a fight. And usually the best classes will teach you many easy throws and force you to train the throw/throws over and over and over.

And just to help some of you out, if you are being attacked, the best places to go for immediately are the eyes, throat, stomach, inner-side of the knees, feet, and groin. Remember, YOU are being attacked. Do not hesitate to gouge out one's eyes or to slam a chop into the throat. A stomping kick to the stomach or the sides of the knees will hurt a lot. Stomping on the foot while adding another attack works very well. And the groin... well I don't have to explain that. :D The key is to survive... Always remember that.

Now that I have said that... I know that catcalling is a rather natural thing. Hell, I've laughed when my friends do this sometimes as it is quite amusing. But it really gets out of hand. I can see how women get annoyed or scared because catcalling is a great release for a man. Once they feel the release once, they'll want to do it again. And it can get worse. My friends are perfect proof. They started with simple catcalling, then moved onto pulling up beside girls and paying or simple asking for sex. One of my friends supposedly even drives his car right in front of girls to block them off from going further.

Yeah it can be harmless, but let a guy do it too long, and it can get bad really fast.

[Expert Insomniac]

No laws broken and all that.

Actually, technically catcalling is against the law. It's categorized as sexual harrasment (our school had the laws posted up in all of the classrooms.) However, I also feel that the sexual harrassment laws are inordinately strict. Do you know that if you even glance at a woman, not even a suggestive glance, but look at her the same way you look at a lamp, and she thinks you're the ugliest thing she's ever seen, she can report you for sexual harrassment? However, considering few people actually enforces these rules... it's open game!

And Nessa, I'm afraid I screwed up what I meant. There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to take a self-defense class; I myself am interested in pursuing martial arts. However, when talking with friends about situations where women were victimized, so many have said, "That'll never happen to me. If any guy comes near me I'll kick his ass!" And THAT'S what scares me. It's not even a strength issue necessarily, but like Fujin said, panic is what will throw you off. Since nobody actually expects it to happen to them, the fact that it is happening makes it hard to think "He's exposing this part of his body. I should do this!" I just don't want women to think they're invincible when they're not.

This has gotten a bit off topic, but just wanted to say a quick thanks to all who gave me different outlooks. Although still incredibly annoying, at least now I can chuckle and say "Oh you dumbass you. You have no idea how to talk to women and will never get laid. Unless you're friends with Fujin."

[Snake eyeS]

"Oh you dumbass you. You have no idea how to talk to women and will never get laid."

In defense of my dear friends, who cant seem to pass up an oppertunity to honk at a random girl.. they do get girls and the one who does it the most has never had trouble getting any girl. he can bring home a moviestar and i woudnt be suprised.

I never tought about that girls would find it irritating, i was always more annoyed by the fact that my friends did it in whatever situation they were, sometimes creating confusion with cars around them. I would be lieng if i never did it myself, but i cant explain it as to why i did it.. even though boasting would be in the right direction. or pressure from my mates. :D

Ill go tell my friends that girls dont like this sort of stuff, although chances are big they dont care at all..not only girls can be shallow, men excel at it aswell.

[Shadowknight]

re: Self defense

The best move against an attacker is the-move-of-one-taser-shocking

[Snake eyeS]

as for defending yourself, i scream like a little girl, thats a sure winner.
Aslong as you cant control your panic it really has no use to listen to advice.

[Mushu]

I’m ashamed. I should know better but yesterday when I was playing street basked a really pretty, hell hot girl, mixed blood of black and white, very very hot walked by beside the court line, me off people started catcalling and other joined in, whistling and applauding. Ashamed...I am. :o

[ruaidhri]

Interesting! Why do men catcall? It’s rude. It can be creepy, even scary. It’s often inappropriate especially when young girls are targeted by grown men of all ages. It can lead to sexual assaults. It should be stopped. But, how?

When it comes to women many men fail to think with their brains. They act out their fantasies with a stare, a honk of a horn or a shouted word or two. For most men that’s as far as they go. But, there’s always that odd guy that could go beyond, that could turn dangerous. The fear is real and so is the danger.

Learning how to defend yourself is important. Both of my sons are accomplished martial artists having learned and practiced their art since they were six years old. They have participated in and taught many self defense classes. Expert Insomniac is correct. If a big man or two wanted to abduct her, a self defense class might do her little good. After all, how could she learn in a single class or even two or three what took my sons years to master? Well, it depends a lot on who’s teaching the class and what’s being taught. My sons’ teacher holds a 9th Degree Black Belt in Doce Pares Philippine Eskrima. He’s also a cop and trains other cops. He knows what works and what doesn’t.

Do you know what the best self defense is? Don’t put yourself in a situation where you might need it. Always be aware of where you are and your possible escape routes. Practice what to scream if you’re attacked Help! I’m being attacked, call the police, get the license number are all good examples. Single out a person to help you because people expect someone else to take action. While you might not be able to physically overpower a man or two you can certainly make it more difficult if not impossible to actually get you into the car. Head butts on their nose, kick in their shins with the side of your foot running down the shin from knee to ankle. Elbows in the neck or fingers in the eyes. Get angry, fight for your life because if you end up in the car that might be the end of you. Never accept fate blindly.

I’m really glad that I had two boys instead of girls. I was still scared for them and that’s why I took them to Martial Arts classes anywhere from 4 to 6 times a week until they were 18. They know what it feels like to get hit hard. They also know what it feels like to hit someone else hard. Both hurt. If you have to walk maybe actually taking classes wouldn’t be a bad idea for you. You’d be surprised at how many people don’t know how to hit or when hit themselves just shut down. You’d also be surprised at how many people don’t know how to scream. They think they do but they don’t. In my sons’ self defense classes they have the students scream at the top of their lungs some of the statements I listed in the above paragraph. Guess what? Many women have problems screaming. They have to be prompted over and over again to scream louder, LOUDER, LOUDER, and LOUDER.

Yes, many men are creeps and you should be prepared for them but most are innocent and just following nature when they give you that quick glance. They may not even know they did it. They certainly don’t have any evil intentions. If called on it they would become nervous, embarrassed and perhaps threatened. The film War Zone that Roxie recommended illustrated that exact reaction.

I recently went to a Bon Jovi concert and observed how stupid men can be with young girls. I wrote about my experience in the Stories Forum on OP9 http://www.outpostnine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=320.

At the beginning of my post I wrote that catcalling should be stopped. The truth is that it probably never will stop. Your only defense is yourself. Nobody is going to protect you more than what you can do for yourself. Practice what you would do if attacked.

[Mushu]

Oki I think things have gone too far again.

I know catcalls are wrong and most women don’t like it. That we know. And when I catcalled yesterday to that pretty girl I wasn’t thinking straight. That we know. But there are some girls that enjoy, that like being noticed, am I wrong? And I don’t think all women would be offended for being noticed and appreciated. If there are those that get offended by being noticed then there is something wrong them. Because lets face it, all mankind like to be appreciated and noticed, that’s a fact. Further more women do catcalls too, not as loud as us men but never the less they do. They do it quietly among friends, look at us men like piece of meat and objectify us so stop looking at it from one angle. And don’t bring up that sexual harassment crap its fucking overrated.

And for talking about women should learn self defense(which btw I agree with, everyone should learn self defense both women and men because you wont know when it will come in handy) because catcalls will get out of hand or you will be kidnapped and get raped just because you are women is just wrong. It might happen and it has happened, but by saying every man that looks at you and noticed you or expresses his appreciation, is thinking of abducting you and having his ways with you. That’s not the case, at least not 95% of the cases. Granted that there those 5% of sick people that break the rule of 'look but don’t touch' and those fuckers should be fucking killed imo.

It's like saying all men are pedophiles and you shouldn’t let your children interacting with them (maybe I went too far now) but that’s just ridicules.

So stop blowing thing out of proportion and stop generalizing (I think I’ve done some generalizing myself on this post).

[Roxie]

Oki I think things have gone too far again.

I know catcalls are wrong and most women don’t like it. That we know. And when I catcalled yesterday to that pretty girl I wasn’t thinking straight. That we know. But there are some girls that enjoy, that like being noticed, am I wrong? And I don’t think all women would be offended for being noticed and appreciated. If there are those that get offended by being noticed then there is something wrong them. Because lets face it, all mankind like to be appreciated and noticed, that’s a fact. Further more women do catcalls too, not as loud as us men but never the less they do. They do it quietly among friends, look at us men like piece of meat and objectify us so stop looking at it from one angle. And don’t bring up that sexual harassment crap its fucking overrated.

And for talking about women should learn self defense(which btw I agree with, everyone should learn self defense both women and men because you wont know when it will come in handy) because catcalls will get out of hand or you will be kidnapped and get raped just because you are women is just wrong. It might happen and it has happened, but by saying every man that looks at you and noticed you or expresses his appreciation, is thinking of abducting you and having his ways with you. That’s not the case, at least not 95% of the cases. Granted that there those 5% of sick people that break the rule of 'look but don’t touch' and those fuckers should be fucking killed imo.

It's like saying all men are pedophiles and you shouldn’t let your children interacting with them (maybe I went too far now) but that’s just ridicules.

So stop blowing thing out of proportion and stop generalizing (I think I’ve done some generalizing myself on this post).



Yes, you were wrong.

No one appreciates be yelled at, being followed, or having their parts publicly commented on when they’re just trying to get to class. Being appreciated and being harassed are two completely different things. It’s more than being ‘noticed’ when someone takes a picture of your ass.

So the next time someone loudly expresses how much they’d like to have sex with me, instead of feeling threatened I should feel appreciated? Are you fucking kidding me?

Get it straight. We’re not talking about men who say “Oh you look nice.” Sure we know they want to fuck us at some point, but the behavior isn’t threatening.

The behavior of catcalls is a threatening behavior. Anytime a person reduces another to parts they’d just like to manipulate, it’s scary. That’s not being appreciated in any manner and it’s definitely not high on the lists of wanted attention.

And you don’t fool me at your false attempt of trying to express your own objectification. Saying something–quietly–among friends is different than yelling so everyone can hear.
“Damn, you got some nice titties” is not appreciation, its degradation. If it feels empowering for one party, then it must feel disempowering to the other.

Just as PLF feels threatened and scared when black men walk up the street at 2am, I feel the same about men. All men, at all times of the day, especially at night, especially in cars. A group of guys gets me nervous. I can’t help it. I don’t cross the street, but I immediately plot points of exists, think of things to scream, look for hiding places, etc. This is considering 1 in 3 women have been raped.
They started with simple catcalling, then moved onto pulling up beside girls and paying or simple asking for sex. One of my friends supposedly even drives his car right in front of girls to block them off from going further.
Would you still call these behaviors apperciation?? Should I be happy and excited when that happens?

I shopped at grocery store when I stayed in the dorms b/c that's the grocery store the shuttle went to and I have no car.

I was 18, the security guard was well in his 30s. Security guard!! Please believe me when I tell you that I did not appericate him asking about me walking around w/o my b/f. I did not apperciate it when he followed me around the store pretending it just "happend". I do not apperciate that he tried to get another girl to give up my phone number and pestered the bus driver to get me to come off the shuttle. This was on several occasions.

I don't like that shit gotdamnit! It's fucking threatening.

[tekkan]

Wow. This thread turned really serious.

There is a fine line between harassment and "boys being boys".

From my point of view, if it were a cat call and thats it. Sure its probably annoying for the women, but no harm done. I think its along the same line as those telemarketers calling your house. Its unwanted, its annoying, makes you really mad, but in the end its best just to ignore them.

The guys who go farther than that. For example blocking the girls way, stalking, hounding, and genernally not taking no for answer are society's garbage.

If you're not going to respect your fellow human beings then you shouldn't be allowed to walk around freely.

I don't do the catcalls or purposly loud sexual comments, well when I'm sober at least, to total strangers. To people I know, its all in good jest.

I find it distasteful. If a girl is damn hot, I don't think she needs you to tell her that. She probably already knows.

[Myrsilus]

Ruaidhri made a very important point in dealing with attacks... It is always best to run or scream for help. Never try to be brave and take matters into your own hands by fighting the attacker. It's impossible to know if the attacker has brought along a weapon or is under the influence of some random drug or alcoholic beverage. I have spoken to many accomplished martial artists that have experienced many trying battles, and all of them agree that escaping from a battle is always the best solution.

Now it is true that most catcallers will never resort to any real assault to get their kicks. Many never go past the honking and yelling. Keep in mind, though, that not everyone is so mentally well to control darker impulses.

I am a man and I have no problem hearing or talking about this topic. I don't think this is being blown out of proportion at all. No one is trying to say that every man will resort to catcalling or greater extremes, only that it is a possible scenario. I prefer that people keep this in mind and not try to think this world is so sugar-coated that every man is just going to verbalize that a woman is appealing to the eyes and not possibly pursue the matter further than appropriate. Mental wellness and other factors like alcohol intake can lead to many different outcomes.

And no, Roxie. I think I've made it perfectly clear in all my posts that I am strongly against catcalling and anything else related to the practice. If one is happy or excited to receive a catcall or have a guy block their path with a car, then that is their choice. I have no power of that, but my personal opinion is one should not be happy in those scenarios. I feel such acts are obscene and dangerous.

[Roxie]

And no, Roxie. I think I've made it perfectly clear in all my posts that I am strongly against catcalling and anything else related to the practice.
Sorry, I was talking to Mushu.

[Tssss..]

its getting a little serious.....

There is this really hot guy that mows lawns around my neighborhood. anyway, me and my friend were driving by my neighbors house, and she thought she saw him mowing the lawn, so she rolls the window down and yells 'hey hottie'....turns out it was this super old bald guy with a beer gut and no shirt on mowing his lawn....and he just stared as we drove by. you should have seen how red her face was. :D

[Chinamerican]

My question is: why? Does anybody know? At least when guys pull over, I understand they have hope that even though I know nothing about them except for the fact they have a car, that will be enough to make me want to blow them.

But the guys who shout, honk, whatever, but just keep on driving? I can't run at 60 miles an hour, or even thirty, so even if I wanted to bang them there's no way I'd catch up. So why do they do it? Does anyone here do that, or know anyone who does that? What exactly do they feel they/you are accomplishing by doing this?

It's very simple: men get exponentially dumber as you group them together. Case in point - my ex told me the story of when he drank half a cup of tabasco sauce in the dining hall b/c his friends were cheering him on. His lower intestines and butt paid for it afterward BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA DURING THE TIME.

Now before any of you jump on me, this post is part tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, part experience. It works for women too - how else do you explain all those "Girls Gone Wild" videos or Cher's entire wardrobe?

[CNagy]

Catcalling is disrespectful but harmless. Being annoying doesn't make it harmful, being irritating doesn't make it harmful. When a person follows you, stalks you, gets in your face and harasses you, that is not catcalling. It's the difference between a guy who recieves his change from a cashier in such a way as to let his fingertips brush against her palm, and the guy who blindsides her and rapes her after work-- catcalling is disrespectful, rude, obscene, and ultimately harmless. Accosting a woman, stalking her, etc, is not harmless. The two are not one and the same.

[Roxie]

how can something be disrespectful and harmless at that same time? Not only is it disrespectful, it's demeaning and scary.

It's scary b/c you never know what guy who feels that calling and saying explicitly sexually things to you in public might feel is a-ok to do next. He's already shown he's not considerate and doesn't care about your feelings or what others may think. That's why it's scary.

It doesn't mean he'll do something, but it's an indicator that he might.

[CNagy]

I agree; I merely meant to point out that I've seen alot of posts that essentially say that one is assured to lead to the other. Something can be disrespectful and harmless because, at the end of the day, you don't know the person, nor should you care overly much what they think. Being disrespected is not harmful in and of itself. When a guy honks his horn and calls you an asshole, he is insulting you and acting in a disrespectful manner; you blow him off and forget about him. If he taps your bumper with his (I've seen this alot) then he is crossing a line. He could do either of these things without the other, though.

If I were a woman (and this is a stretch of mindset, so bear with me,) I'd find catcalls useful, if still irritating and annoying. I'd be much more paranoid about the seemingly quiet guy who gives me no clue about his criminal intentions. In that way, you could like a catcaller to an elephant in the underbrush and the quiet guy to the viper next to your ankle.

[Expert Insomniac]

I agree; I merely meant to point out that I've seen alot of posts that essentially say that one is assured to lead to the other.

I'm not sure if this is a reference to any of my posts or not... I never proofread what I write (I know, I should...) and sometimes I do make mistakes not just in spelling, but in missing words or scrambling sentences so they mean something I did not intend them to.

So just to clarify my stance: most catcalls are completely harmless. However, EVERY time I have been accosted by a stranger to the point where it was threatening and potentially dangerous, they all started with someone making a catcall then making a U-turn so they could pull over right next to me. Not one exception. And although this is rarer, it has still happened often enough to make me paranoid.

So although I realize most likely I'm safe... it still raises potential that it could turn into more. And it pisses me off I can't even walk to the drug store to buy Advil without feeling potentially endangered at least once.

And if you weren't talking about any of my posts... then, um... look! There's a kitty over there!

[Kragar]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]how can something be disrespectful and harmless at that same time?


Universal badass? In which universe? Not in my universe.

Is that disrespectful? Yes.
Is that harmful? It shouldn't be.

[Roxie]

Universal badass? In which universe? Not in my universe.

Is that disrespectful? Yes.
Is that harmful? It shouldn't be.
It's an M.I.A. lyric smartass, "I'm a Universal Badass, I kick so hard I get a red card"

[co_delphi]

Just to clarify something that hasn't been covered yet, but approximately when and where are these happening? I mean if this is happening in a city with other people on the street, a catcall/horn honing/whooping, yelling or otherwise would most likely draw the attention of everyone else as well and make the likelihood of anyone trying anything to be less than likely. If this is on a deserted country road I can understand this alot better.

Also although this is not directly related to the topic I routinely attempt to compliment people on something random and walking off. Reasoning for doing so is in hopes of giving somebody a good feeling. But if a random person was to come up to you, compliment you on your necklace and then walk off with no apparent alterior motives, would this be considered a compliment or likely make them consider me as a creepy individual?

[Myrsilus]

Just to clarify something that hasn't been covered yet, but approximately when and where are these happening? I mean if this is happening in a city with other people on the street, a catcall/horn honing/whooping, yelling or otherwise would most likely draw the attention of everyone else as well and make the likelihood of anyone trying anything to be less than likely. If this is on a deserted country road I can understand this alot better.

Also although this is not directly related to the topic I routinely attempt to compliment people on something random and walking off. Reasoning for doing so is in hopes of giving somebody a good feeling. But if a random person was to come up to you, compliment you on your necklace and then walk off with no apparent alterior motives, would this be considered a compliment or likely make them consider me as a creepy individual?
What you're doing sounds very friendly in nature. I think at most you would just confuse people with that sudden display of kindness. I know I would be confused by it.

And the catcalling and all happens at all times in all places. I've seen it during the day, during the night, in a busy part of town, in a dead part of town. I'll admit that the extreme cases are more likely to happen at night, but it's still dangerous. Some of the times my friends have tried to drive up beside a girl or cut them off, the girl might just laugh it off since it is night. There are times however that they can become genuinely afraid for their lives.

[Stephy]

co_delphi, It happen it front of people all the time. During night and day. It's around busy streets, where cars always go by. I sometimes take back roads, so not to be near avenues or where there are many cars, but it doesn't always happen. At night It become a lot worse.

Also if you go up to someone and act kind, I think it would be a compliment, but they might think your weird. I think, maybe not though.

[Expert Insomniac]

Just to clarify something that hasn't been covered yet, but approximately when and where are these happening?

For me, although it will happen on crowded city streets, for the most part I get it in quiet residential areas where I'm the only one on the sidewalk. It's been awhile since I've walked anywhere at night, so... I don't remember if I used to get them at night or not.

Also although this is not directly related to the topic I routinely attempt to compliment people on something random and walking off. Reasoning for doing so is in hopes of giving somebody a good feeling. But if a random person was to come up to you, compliment you on your necklace and then walk off with no apparent alterior motives, would this be considered a compliment or likely make them consider me as a creepy individual?

I think that's really sweet! If someone did that to me, it would definitely make me feel good.

As long as y'know... you're not stroking your crotch, fondling a knife, or Michael Jackson.

[CuPoNoOdLe]

Humm.. even when im NOT walking i still get cat-called on. This reminds me of two days ago, i was driving home from work in my car when some truck next to me kept honking. I didn't bother paying attention because i was trying to listen to my music and keeping my eye on the light to turn green. Well, the truck must have honked at me for at least 5 times until his light turned green, so on his way passing me, he decided to yell at me. I had no clue what he yelled out, but i thought he said i had a flat tire; funny because, i just changed my tires a few months ago. Well.. so i was worried and decided ill check out my tires when i get home, but when i got home nothing was wrong with my car. *sigh* Guys these days... till this day i still dont know what he wanted lol.

*sorry if my grammar is bad, im really tired right now.. i can't think straight.

[StormShadow]

How do you know he didn't just want to race? Hhhmmm? Mabye he had an automatic, so he didn't want ot rev his engine.

[CuPoNoOdLe]

How do you know he didn't just want to race? Hhhmmm? Mabye he had an automatic, so he didn't want ot rev his engine.

LOL.. good one Shadow lol. I drive a 91 Civic and he drove some monster truck. I think he'll beat me.. and besides he was in the turning lane lol.

[StormShadow]

I have a 90 accord and I can still smoke some people like a cheap cigar. If he had some giant truck you could have taken him. Have faith in your vehicle. If you wer walking along, would you mind one horn honk, no car turning around, no trying to talk to you, just one HELLO/GOODBYE honk?

[koku]

I was driving and got a little lost downtown about a couple weeks ago. I knew i was close but wasn't too sure. So I decide to ask for directions(still driving).

Pull up to a red light and there's this girl around my age in a car to my right. I open my windows and wave her to put hers down. She f'n looks at me with this conceeded cocky ass look.



I want directions


this BITCH(i was mad) thinks I want to get in her pants.



GET OVER YOURSELVES. I tried like 3 times because there was no way I was going to give her an easy time about it. Of course this whore(lol) doesn't do a damn thing.

*sigh*

Next red light some other girl to my left actually rolls down the window and gives me directions.

[akitaka]

^you can't expect everyone to cater to what you need. Even if their reasons are assumingly unjust. Angry? Tough. You moved to the next person, and do what you need to do.

Now, if you walk up to a girl and she maces you, when you clearly have a map out for directions, you can feel like a pill and mutter bad things.

[koku]

^you can't expect everyone to cater to what you need. Even if their reasons are assumingly unjust. Angry? Tough. You moved to the next person, and do what you need to do.

Now, if you walk up to a girl and she maces you, when you clearly have a map out for directions, you can feel like a pill and mutter bad things.


lol. yeah. It was still annoying though, and related to this thread somewhat.

[Nachosamurai]

Some of those honks or whatever aren't motivated sexually, they are just jackass poeple who like to try and scare pedestrians. It happens to any pedestrian, not just girls.

[OliveButtercup]

Here's my latest 'catcalling' incident.

*Important Note*
I was NOT wearing a hooker/stripper outfit to Target. Only a t-shirt,jeans, and sneakers.

I had to run to Target to pick up some tide and bounce sheets. As I get out of my suv and try to walk as fast as I can, as to minimize the interaction/catcalling between this group of duded walking into the store. One looks over his shoulder at me walking behind him and he stops dead in his tracks. He literally stops in the middle of the street and waits for me to walk in front of him. I was sure he just wanted to check my ass out, because he made it so damned obvious. So, I pretend like I'm stopping to tie my shoe/check my cell so that I don't have to walk in front of him and his friends. So I thought I was o.k., until we get to the electronic double doors. Mind you the doors are WIDE OPEN and there is no one trying to go through them. He stops AGAIN and motions+grunts for me to go through first. (there was plenty of room for both of us)
So I tell him no, "that's o.k. you first" and try to act nice. But, he's adamant about me going in the damned electronic-wide-open doors first. So I finally go ahead of him and this is what he did in plain sight. He stood and stared at my ass, and made a smacking noise, then shook his head and was like "MMph!" something retarded like that. So I say to him, "Are you finished checking out my ass now?" and he's all shocked and say's "oh uhhhhhh I'm trying to be a gentleman." That's what kind of stuff happens in the bay area.

[h2orowe]

I would've slapped him in the face if that was my friend, I'd be like "Jackass" and than end up getting kicked in the nuts by my friend.

[koku]

lol you will NEVER hear a guy complain about girls always trying to get into their pants. Or always trying to stare at them.

seriously, I think guys philosophy on life just squashes womens sometimes. That's going to seem very vague but Imagine this situation but happening to a guy. This thread would go about 2-3 replies actually talking about the issue, and we'd move on.

"omg today, SOMOENE LOOKED AT ME....AT WOULDN'T STOP!!"

:P ok i'll stop there.

[akitaka]

but Imagine this situation but happening to a guy.

So you're telling me that I'd appreciate it if a random bimbo made a comment about my butt? Personally, I'd be disgusted. If the girl had an air of decency, and was very descrete about the fascination, then I'd just play ignorance and maybe feel lightly flattered. The point is that the person's approach as well as position matters a lot, at least to me.
It's not a case of "someone looked at me", but rather, in olive's case, a person who's being an oblivious pervert and openly checking her out, in public. It's soo much to be a goon, but...wow. He probably ate his share of paint chips as a kid.

A guy's philosophy on life is generally cut and past; I personally think it works very well on a survivalistic level; get what you need. But every so often a person grows up in a manner that totally domesticates that, to, "get what you want". Chauvinism, anyone?

[OliveButtercup]

So you're telling me that I'd appreciate it if a random bimbo made a comment about my butt? Personally, I'd be disgusted. If the girl had an air of decency, and was very descrete about the fascination, then I'd just play ignorance and maybe feel lightly flattered. The point is that the person's approach as well as position matters a lot, at least to me.
It's not a case of "someone looked at me", but rather, in olive's case, a person who's being an oblivious pervert and openly checking her out, in public. It's soo much to be a goon, but...wow. He probably ate his share of paint chips as a kid.

A guy's philosophy on life is generally cut and past; I personally think it works very well on a survivalistic level; get what you need. But every so often a person grows up in a manner that totally domesticates that, to, "get what you want". Chauvinism, anyone?

Kisses Akitaka *muah*! Spoken like a true gentleman.

[akitaka]

I'm just a mama's boy :o

[OliveButtercup]

Nice girls like myself need more guys like you in the world...

[Roxie]

lol you will NEVER hear a guy complain about girls always trying to get into their pants. Or always trying to stare at them.

seriously, I think guys philosophy on life just squashes womens sometimes. That's going to seem very vague but Imagine this situation but happening to a guy. This thread would go about 2-3 replies actually talking about the issue, and we'd move on.

"omg today, SOMOENE LOOKED AT ME....AT WOULDN'T STOP!!"

:P ok i'll stop there.
Wow. you really haven't been reading the thread much have you? Because if you did, you'd notice looking at the person wasn't the major complaint.

[CNagy]

The more I read this thread, the more I think I need to start up a service business that involves big, burly guys following clients discreetly and stepping up to deal with perverts, stalkers, and other nuisances when they come up. Deal with them, and then vanish once more into the crowd. Sad that this sort of thing should be so rampant, really.

[koku]

Wow. you really haven't been reading the thread much have you? Because if you did, you'd notice looking at the person wasn't the major complaint.


I know it wasnt major but I was just thinkig about it. Doesn't mean i disagree with olivia or anyone else silly :P.


I just think its a little amusing that a guy wouldn't(ok akitaka, most) guys wouldn't even think twice about it. Or complain about things like it.

I like how you worded it though.

Cut and Paste. Does simplify things and throws out many unneccasry things yes, but also at the expensive of a few good things(this would be a good debate actually. Altough, it would probably go on forever and never solved).

Roxie relax, i side with the lady. The guy was being annoying. But things like "omg i'm attractive why do guys keep checking me out when i leave the house" get's kind of harder to stomach after a few times.

[Roxie]

I just think its a little amusing that a guy wouldn't(ok akitaka, most) guys wouldn't even think twice about it. Or complain about things like it.

I like how you worded it though.
I can only work with what you give me.
Is your inability to place yourself in someone else's shoes that deep?

You CANNOT look at it so flatly like that! Come on, be smarter.

Of course a guy wouldn't think twice about it, b/c a guy isn't told his worth=looks. A guy isn't nearly as in danger of being sexually prayed apon, sexual assualt or rape. A guy doesn't have to worry that when a girl shows some unwarrented, agressive, sexual behavior in public that she might take it a little farther and invade your personal space.

Cut and Paste. Does simplify things and throws out many unneccasry things yes, but also at the expensive of a few good things(this would be a good debate actually. Altough, it would probably go on forever and never solved).
Wtf? Your point is?
But things like "omg i'm attractive why do guys keep checking me out when i leave the house" get's kind of harder to stomach after a few times.
Wow, really? Cause you're the only one who's said anything like that.

Again, you must not be reading the same thread.

[koku]

kokujin= GREEN

I can only work with what you give me.
Is your inability to place yourself in someone else's shoes that deep?

I just did. I would have just kept on walking, or said something to the guy like "wow, you're really trying hard to check out my ass huh?" Then I probably would have laughed at the expression on his face and move on. I'm sorry I don't complicate things like alot of women. Mabye next time i'll just throw a mental fit.

You CANNOT look at it so flatly like that! Come on, be smarter.

Of course a guy wouldn't think twice about it, b/c a guy isn't told his worth=looks.


To be fair, most of that craps just the pessimistic paranoid thinking cycle at work. Alot of the self esteem stuff women go through is self created. Situations where looks = worth?? Hmmm, only a commonality in dating, and that happens to men and women. If it happens at work, it's illiegal. In school you're just a # with a GPA and test scores. Mabye if you pointed out a few situations and we can discuss them.

A guy isn't nearly as in danger of being sexually prayed apon, sexual assualt or rape. A guy doesn't have to worry that when a girl shows some unwarrented, agressive, sexual behavior in public that she might take it a little farther and invade your personal space.

The one thing I'd actually agree with. I think if you're carefull and smart about it, rape can be avoided pretty easily, but sure women have that part of life harder than men.

Wtf? Your point is?

I was talking to akitaka and his spin on the male philosophy. The "cut and paste." Yeah your'e right, we probably aren't reading the same thread. And actually, I even questioned some of the things wrong with the male "cut and paste" philosophical view, but I guess we won't pay attention to that.

Wow, really? Cause you're the only one who's said anything like that.

Mabye because everyone else is too buisy feeding her sympathy. I also said I agree. I also said I sympathise a bit with what she said. I just thought it was amusing to ponder if guys would ever make a deal about things like this.

Again, you must not be reading the same thread.



Apparently not, because in the thread I saw, I was just writing about how I would find it amusing if things were switched. If girls constantly "catcalled" men and such. If I offended anyone(which I somehow did to you) you're taking it too far.

[Nachosamurai]

Oh my god let's rip each other apart, even though neither of us are who wer're complaining about........

kk???

[akitaka]

The more I read this thread, the more I think I need to start up a service business that involves big, burly guys following clients discreetly and stepping up to deal with perverts, stalkers, and other nuisances when they come up. Deal with them, and then vanish once more into the crowd. Sad that this sort of thing should be so rampant, really.

Hire me; I've got a wicked stare. Heck, I'll even bleach my hair, dress in a slick suite, bust a pair of Ray Bans, and visibly carry a pair of nunchucks.

...and wear long, fake tattoos up and down my arms.

Non-Smoking, please.

Quasi-nissei-yakuza to the rescue.

[Myrsilus]

Hire me, too. People say that when I just sit and do nothing, it looks like I'm stalking a target for assassination.

... maybe that's why girls get afraid of me. Er anyway, it works.

I fight in the name of justice, after all.

[Corinthian]

Most men really aint shit. But to speak all types of truths here.(might be different for yall)But i dont run up on a female, honkin and what-not. I got respect for females. But I think it has to do with men's view as women. Usually they can't seperate a Female from a bitch/slut/ho whatever you want to call it. Therefore when they see a bad little hammer walkin down the street, they react accordingly.

Could be different in other's eyes. But this is how i see it.

[akitaka]

Therefore when they see a bad little hammer walkin down the street, they react accordingly.
Quoted, because I just love the way you wrote that. But as you stated, as well, not all hammers are 'bad'.

As for "men ain't shit", it's mainly on their part of fear. Most of such men will go to uneasy lengths, such as public cat-calling, to simply give them a boost for a minute or two. Confront them about it, and they can only fall silent, or get angry. Or both.

But only silent when the confronter has a pair of f'n nunchucks. Yeah. That'll show em...

[Deadhead]

I would be flattered, even if I was female (Im not).
The fact is that there is a line. If someone is discreetly checking you out then its no big deal, in fact be proud of how attractive you are.

If someone sees you, grabs their crotch and says something obscene, thats a whole different animal. Thats like rape almost, but not. In fact its nothing at all like rape, except it is. Its like they are raping you with their mind.

I dunno, thats just what I think. Granted, I have a horribly inflated opinion of myself. I think I am the most amazing (and witty, and attractive, and intelligent, and just plain awesome) creature ever to walk on this little ball of mud exploding outwards from a burning ball of energy at the center of the universe.

PS. I didnt read anything except the OP and the last page, so Im not getting into an arguement thats already been started

[Corinthian]

As for "men ain't shit", it's mainly on their part of fear. Most of such men will go to uneasy lengths, such as public cat-calling, to simply give them a boost for a minute or two. Confront them about it, and they can only fall silent, or get angry. Or both.


You gave me a boost by quote'n me. E-Props :) :)


But really, its sad if that gives em a boost. Now, if a girl came up to him talkin and what not...then thats coo. But other than that. Meh

[Roxie]

From wikipedia.org
Street Harrasment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_harassment)

Street harassment is the term used to describe sexual harassment when it takes place in public spaces. Street harassment can occur anywhere at any time; it is more common in urban areas because of higher population density. Street harassment is usually harassment of women by men. Some analysts of this phenomenon have termed it a relentless, if not outright fatal, form of sexual terrorism that reminds women of both their constant vulnerability to assault in public spaces and the ubiquitous sexual objectification of women in everyday life[1]. Other analysts point out the danger of using a politically-loaded word such as "terrorism," since it would imply that street harassers are terrorists and because street harassment does not generally involve murder, a usual defining point between civil disobedience and terrorism.

In the United States, the most common form of street harassment is staring which some say "requires" the victim to avert their gaze to avoid conflict and/or more aggressive harassment. Other common forms of street harassment include: telling unknown women to 'smile,' making sexually explicit comments or noises, and rubbing against or grabbing women (which rises to the level of sexual assault).

Street harassment can have a very severe effect on victims. Feelings of rage, humiliation, shame and fear are all common in women's reports of incidents. Most women have experienced verbal harassment in public places since puberty and the cumulative effects of years of regular abuse can severely affect even the most strong - willed person. Those skeptical of the existence of a widespread problem point out that learning to control one's emotions, including rage, is part of growing up, and that anti-street harassment activists tend to be young rather than older women, who have presumably learned a better understanding of human nature and sexuality.

Although every incident of street harassment is unique, in descriptions from victims, a number of common themes recur. The "typical" pattern of events goes as follows:

>The victim is in a public place, either alone or with another woman or child - but importantly, not accompanied by a man.

>The victim is not engaging in any activity that could reasonably be construed as an attempt to attract attention.

>The harasser is alone or in the company of other men, but usually not accompanied by a woman.

>The harasser tries to engage the attention of the victim in some way (for example by staring, whistling, shouting, or beeping the horn of a vehicle) The harasser may follow with an offensive comment, addressed directly to the victim or to other people but within earshot of the victim

>The victim's reaction, which will vary depending on circumstances, will not be positive.

>The harasser may continue or escalate the inappropriate behaviour despite the lack of encouragement or express disapproval of the victim.

Those skeptical to claims of a wide-spread social problem (usually men) sincerely point out that freedom of speech is a principle of democratic society, established in the tradition of Kant and the US Constitution. Such principles are often invoked to justify a wide range of political positions [2], although the concept of a "stealth conservative" is itself a politically-charged idea.

The right of women to go about their daily business without being abused does not occur to certain extremist men. Indeed, the seriousness of the problem is often understated or denied by "society," for a number of reasons. For example, when a woman is walking with a man, the likelihood of her being harassed by strangers is much lower, approaching nil. The man may then have trouble believing her with regard to how frequently she experiences harassment. Many men believe that when women describe what happens to them when they walk alone, they exaggerate the severity of the problem. Because they are unlikely to have been the targets of frequent harassment themselves, it is difficult for them to imagine exactly how it feels.

Critics of street harassment focus on the privileged "male" to suppressed "female" power dynamic, and feel street harassment is a continuation of larger male chauvinism dynamic. Evidence shows that when women are attacked or raped by strangers, the attacks are often preceded by verbal harassment. In one isolated incident a woman was pushed onto the tracks of the New York subway when she ignored a harasser, [3] just as people, both men and women, are the target of random acts of senseless violence every day in the city. (Cities are known to have a higher prevalence of mentally unstable individuals.) When harassed, many women fear their unfavourable reaction may anger the harasser. They often report that they were very aware of the danger of attack and therefore felt it unwise to confront the harasser. Street harassment thus reminds women that even if legislation may appear to protect them in the workplace, they are still vulnerable on the streets.

The refusal of many men to accept that street harassment is a problem can make its victims feel doubly victimised. The refusal of many activists to accept that extremist feminist agendas challenge basic principles of democracy can make mainstream political thinkers less willing to engage, rather than ignore, the activists.


Street harassment levels vary from city to city and country to country. In many urban areas, street harassment is extremely common.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Not trying to start an argument, but that article is utter and complete crap, and should be purged from wikipedia immediately, because dear God it's ridiculous. It could just as easily be applied to Christian Missionaries as it is to obnoxious men, but it isn't. Because the article is crap. As is dragging this damned thread out of the grave for crap after 3 months.

[fa11en87]

When I was in Jr. High I would of course be walking everywhere so I got alot of catcalls. But when I was walking with my guy friends it wouldn't happen and plus I would try to hide next to them or something. Thank goodness I drive now!!

[Praetorian]

Roxie, if your article weren't complete and utter smeg, it'd mean I have been " commonly harassed" by females my age about 4 times last *month*.

[Jynx_lucky_j]

Ok i know this is going to be a unpopular oppinion (and is completely off topic)...But Wikipedia is incredibly overrated. I really get sick of people who quote wiki like it automatically makes it true. I always felt the enire concept of allowing anyone to write and edit articles was flawed to begin with. And as it turns out i was right, wikipedia is filled with inaqurate and low quality articles. Of course it will never makes mainstream news but you can find numerous web news articles written on the flaws of wikipedia. I'll admit that it is a handy place to quickly find information, but its no good if the information itself is flawed. The problem is it's being written mostly by everyday people like you and me, they are not experts in the feild and is mostly just what they've read, heard, or feel about the subject.

[Idlethought]

Telling a chick to smile is sexual harassment? Wow I didnt know I was a sex offender because I think that beautiful girls shouldnt be sad....

[Lea]

I'm harassed all the time in public. I don't know why they even bother; I don't pay any attention to them. The worst has to be when they approach you on foot and start talking. Ugh.

[hidethedrone]

I yell at people on the street, whenever I'm in the passanger side of the car. It's most fun.

But I'll do anything, ask people random questions, answer random questions. Depends on the mood I'm in.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Wikipedia's good parts are the more factual articles.

Curious about a mathematical principle? Wikipedia kicks ass.

Curious about a social phenomenon? Probably not so good.

This is one of those latter cases. If I smile at a girl sitting across from me on the train, it's harrassment!

What hogwash.

[Masa the Masta]

I don't believe in cat calls. I'll laugh if a friend does it, but that's not my personal style.

My personal style is if I see a girl walking down the street, I HIT the brakes, come to a complete stop, flip on my hazards, put the car in neutral, pull up on the e-brake, get out, walk up to her and tell her.

"Did anyone ever tell you you're so beautiful you could stop traffic?"

Then I'd introduce myself. If she's a bitch, then accept defeat, cut your losses, and move on. This is more of a personality test than a catcall if you wanna call it that.

But that's just me. :rolleyes: