Alcohol

[xanth]

Okay, this has sort of been covered before, but how important is it that one drink to have a social life in Japan?

Here's the deal. I don't drink, but I have no problem being around other people who do. I understand that drinking in Japan is kinda a huge thing, and I've heard that not accepting a drink that someone pours for you is kinda rude. Is there anyway to politely refuse and still not alienate people? Will you be seen as even more of a weird foreigner if you don't get drunk with your coworkers?

[Azrael]

I didn't start drinking until I came to Japan. This country increases your alcoholism by 60%. Even if you don't drink...+1, then increase by 60%.

It is possible to go out and just order a tea, or a coke or something. Try to cut someone off before they start pouring a drink. If everyone knows you don't drink, I'm sure they'll be accomodating and pour you an overpriced soda instead.

[D-pad]

Why don't you like to drink?

[xanth]

Why don't you like to drink?

I have friends that have asked me the same thing, and to be honest, I've just never found any appeal in it. That's not to say I never ever have drunk alchohol, just it's only been for religious reasons, and even then barely a few sips.

[D-pad]

I have friends that have asked me the same thing, and to be honest, I've just never found any appeal in it. That's not to say I never ever have drunk alchohol, just it's only been for religious reasons, and even then barely a few sips.
But being wasted is fun. And totally get's you to base faster than without it.

[ManiacLove]

Don't feel bad.I haven't drunk in about 2 years. It just isn't good to me. (Except Rum & Coke. .. and also Vodka & Grenadine. Those are good.)

I don't know how anyone can drink Gin... Beer is icky to me, too.

[Marblehead]

I used to absolutely hate gin but it's kinda grown on me. A real martini is made with gin so I've gotten a bit used to it. It's definitely a sipping drink for me. I don't know how anyone could shoot that shit.

Now Tequila, that's my baby. I had interesting time in Shinjuku drinking Mescal. :eek:

[Buckwheat]

Most beer does suck. I just can't stand light beer at all. I love to have a good mug of Guinness or Newcastle after a hard day though. Leinenkugel's has some good stuff out there too.

I seem to have a damn good tolerance for alcohol anyway so I don't think that the liquor customs over in Japan would hit me too hard.

[erbiumfiber]

I only like girlie drinks like daquiris and chu-hi in Japan (fruity alcohol drink).

But, don't make a big deal about not drinking. Usually at company events, there's the first "kampai" (spelling?). Everyone pours beer for one another in the smallest glasses you've ever used- so that there can be more pouring for one another. No one will keep track of how much you have or have not been drinking- people will just look for empty glasses to fill. If you take one sip (or pretend to) your glass will always be full and no one will really know how many glasses you have drunk. But if you make a big deal and order a coke or tea for the initial Kampai!, well, you might not even get your drink in time and it will be noticeable. We have LOTS of welcome parties and going away dinners and bon-en kai (end of year party) and New Year's bingo party (whopee!) and I always pursue this strategy. Sometimes I force myself to drink enough that someone can refill at least part of my glass so I look like I'm joining in.

When you're off on your own with coworkers- i.e., non-company sponsored events, there probably won't be a big Kampai! with speeches etc. Then it's not going to be so noticeable what you do. In fact, when the bill is being split x ways, people appreciate the non-drinkers who subsidize their drinking.

The whole jist of what I'm trying to say is don't call attention to the fact, unless you are allergic to alcohol or something. (However, that doesn't seem to stop the Japanese...)

[Jess]

I hate (really, really hate) beer. And it was kinda a big deal over there - I think I had them halfway convinced I had religious reasons for not drinking, or something, because I was always offered beer, and I can't stand it one bit. I would have the glass of beer for official parties and do what erbiumfiber suggested above - pretend to drink it a bit, until I could go find something palatable.

Then my coworkers found out I like sake. Oh geez. The new game at after work parties became "get the gaijin drunk".

I'm not much of a drinker myself. I enjoy an occasional drink, but I really only drink socially, and even then almost never - like, maybe one drink a month. In Japan I drank a lot more than that. In fact, the only time I've ever been more than pleasantly buzzed was my goodbye party....then I had the joy of giving my farewell speech to my student in Japanese with my first hangover....whee.

My refusal of beer often got comments, but rarely seemed to offend. It depends on how much you really don't want to drink, I guess. If you don't want to deal with the questions and comments, fake it a bit. Otherwise, it didn't seem to be a big deal for me.

One of the funnier comments I got was when out at an izakaya with one of my Chinese coworkers (taught Chinese classes) and her Japanese students (adults, sort of like community education classes). When I politely declined beer, explaining I didn't like the taste, one of the woman was shocked, because I ordered Coke instead. She said that if I was American, and I liked Coke, would like beer, because they were both "Amerika-poi". XD So I explained that natto was Japanese, but you couldn't say all Japanese liked it. Every once in a while, even after years there, those odd little stereotypes raise their heads, don't they?

[l337m45t3r]

Guh. Sake. I tried it once at a resturant and really didn't care for it...

Give me a Kaluha & Milk any day.

[bloop]

Yes and no. It depends on the people you are with. I've had some people react simply by going "Ehhhh? You don't like beer?" and then went to helping me order oolongcha, and I've had someone literally push a glass of alcohol in my face and told me to drink. In general, the more people there were, the less persistent they were about making me drink.
Like others have already said, you can always take just a sip for the kampai and then order something else.

Oh yeah, if you have a car, having to drive is usually a great excuse to refuse drinks. *Most* people were very responsible about not drinking and driving.

[The_Penguin]

What's wrong with you people? Beer is the nectar of the gods. Give me a Sam Adams (do they have that in Japan?) any day.

[Rogue_7]

Yeah, I like a good beer, or a good shot, or a good chu-hi, or... yeah I like booze. Ironically I don't actually drink that much stateside, but I can see that going up lots and lots in Japan. Oh yes, I look forward to this.

[Seramir]

I was a high school exchange student, so I didn't have much exposure to alcohol since I was underage (not that it stopped some of the other exchange students). I was offered it by friends of my host family a few times, because everyone seemed to think I looked over 20 rather than 17.

However, there was one incident right before I left. My volleyball team (男子) decided to have a going-away party for me at a team member's house. Everyone decided to go get some beers from one of Japan's ubiquitous vending machines. Nearly everyone was drinking except for a few of us watching in amusement. I was offered some, but someone else said it would be bad if I got drunk, maybe sensing my hesitation. When we all walked back to the train station, one of my friends made an interesting comment: "If we get caught, we'll get suspended, our parents will be called, and we'll be kicked off the team. Well, except it's the whole team here." Great example of Japanese unity- even getting into trouble is something that everyone does together.

[Tungtvann]

I don't really like beer, but I can drink it if it's all there is. I got a few cans for free the other day, so I didn't let the go to waste. I just downed them real quick.

Vodka is my drink though! It's great.

[Pierrot le Fou]

If you are a man, you're going to be expected to drink. You can decline, but it's a pain in the arse, and you will have to go through the explanation and production every time. If you want to refuse to drink, just accept the beer, take tiny sips, and don't actually down the whole thing. Don't make an issue about it, or bring attention to it, just have a little bit. An open statement that you don't drink won't help your case, and a little bit of beer won't kill you.

In Japan drinking is a major thing. Unlike the West, where drinking is generally discouraged, it's embraced and encouraged here. Every year there are many 宴会 (enkai) which are basically drinking parties. There is the 忘年会 (bounenkai - lit. forget the year party), the 送別会 (soubetsukai - farewell party) 新年会 (shin'nenkai - New Year's party), as well as regular other parties in between with some or all of your corowrkers. But those are the big three. Everyone raises alcohol, shouts 乾杯 (kanpai - (a) drink!) and pours everyone else beer and gets loaded. That's just part of the culture.

Some people don't drink, but they don't make a big deal out of it, and just quietly drink something else after the beginning toast.

Unlike the West, where getting loaded at the Christmas party is a water-cooler discussion for everyone who saw it, what happens at an enkai just doesn't get mentioned afterwards. For instance, the chick sitting across from me in the office went to the 忘年会 last year, got ABSOLUTELY plastered, was downing about 3 different types of liquor, was being an absolute riot towards the bosses (using improper politeness levels and then berating herself for it, absolutely hilarious) followed by two hours or so of vomiting in the toilet. And nobody mentioned it.

Well, I did, but I'm not Japanese.

The point is that unlike the US, where we tend to be pretty outgoing and loose at work, Japanese offices are stiff as Hell and horrendously boring to sit around in. So when they go out to drink, they go out to drink and do it with style. It's expected for you to at least go along with the plan even if you don't do so much of the actual drinking. The people who don't drink generally cut off their evening there, though much of the time folks go to a 二次会 (nijikai - second party) and then a 三次会 (third party) while the group dwindles as people die from liquor intake and stumble home.

So how important is drinking in Japan? It's culturally expected for you to tolerate if not participate, so I highly recommend not making a big deal out of it. Some people may be asses and try to get you drunk, but it won't be most of the people around you. Just politely pass when they try to get you to down your liquor, never tell anyone what kinds of liquor you do like if you don't want to drink, and just stay good humoured about it.

Not going to the enkais would be a shame, as they allow you to see a side of your coworkers you would never see.

[Citizen]

Hell, I'd just come right out and refuse a drink if I didn't want one. Doesn't matter to me if it's not polite, even in a different country.

Although I'd never have that problem anyways, as I'd gladly accept a free drink, as long as it isn't beer.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Citizen, do me a favour and never work in Japan. You wouldn't do too well. Japan is all about maintaining the 和 (wa - social harmony), and direct rebuffs to stuff don't go over too well. The way to refuse is to just not drink what you are given, but to outright refuse it can be incredibly rude, and regardless of cultural differences, will not go over well.

I understand why you say that, and I would say that it would be right anywhere else in the world that I've been, but here it's just causing more trouble than it's worth. This isn't a country where you stand up for what you believe in unless everyone else believes it too, and to go and be a lone-wolf activist will get you seen as a trouble-maker and make your life more miserable than it has to be.

[Citizen]

You obviously have never had a drink in a seedy American bar. Refusing a drink there is just as much of an insult, but it doesn't end society.

The fact is, I never plan on going to Japan. If I did, and didn't drink, I wouldn't let their social norms make me do something I didn't want to. Even if I could just take the drink and not drink it. It's not about trying to cause trouble. I'd politely say that I didn't want a drink.

If they can't handle that, it's no fault of mine. More of a culteral weakness.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I have been to countless seedy American bars. I practically lived in one. But people who don't want to drink don't go to bars, whereas people who don't want to drink and work in Japan still go to enkais.

There's no cultural weakness in that, because no Japanese person would think of outright refusing the drink to begin with. Perhaps it's a cultural weakness of yours to assume that when in Rome you don't have to do as the romans if you don't want. Perhaps it's a cultural weakness for you to be unable to show impulse control or respect towards another country.

It's just different. It isn't a weakness or otherwise. And it would be causing trouble, and you can't politely say no in that case.

[Marblehead]

Pierrot, that reminds me of a story of mine...

In October of 2002 i was still in the Army, and my unit got the chance to do a cultural exchange with the Japanese Army. The Japanese, as all in the know know very well, like their cermonies and the booze that goes with them. So, the first week we were there they had a big la-di-dah welcoming ceremony for all us Americans.

We were all ushered into their d-fac (cafeteria) and given tons upon tons of alcohol to consume in mass quantities. One Japanese dude thought he'd be the shit and get up on the table, rub his belly, and drink some sake from a large square wooden cup (what the hell are those called?).
Well there ain't noway, nohow, no American is going to take that. Even if it ain't America! That was a challenge if I ever saw it!

Well, let me tell you I have a reputation. I'm not proud of it but at times I feel it is most necessary to whip it out.

Suddenly, everyone around me was egging me on and I felt obliged to satisfy them. I jumped up on the table, somebody handed me a gigantic bottle of sake, I ripped my shirt off, screamed, "KANPAI" and chugged half the bottle in one pour.

I was told to leave by my chain of command about ten minutes later. Man was I fucking drunk!

That'll show those Japanese who's boss.

[Citizen]

But people who don't want to drink don't go to bars

Plenty of people go to bars and don't drink. Certain people will also turn down certain drinks, drinks from certain people, and drinks after a certain point.


Perhaps it's a cultural weakness of yours to assume that when in Rome you don't have to do as the romans if you don't want.

Please, do excuse me for assuming that if Person A dislikes something and politely turns it down that Person B should be able to tolerate that, no matter who they are. :rolleyes:

I'd say the inability to understand that certain people don't want certain things and not being able to accept polite refusals are indeed weaknesses, even if your entire country does it.

Using one's social norms to make people do what you want when they are politely opposed to it is still just as big of an ass move as turning something down in a society that normally wouldn't turn it down, even if you don't realize it.

Perhaps it's a cultural weakness for you to be unable to show impulse control or respect towards another country.

Yes, because being "rude" ends society.

and you can't politely say no in that case.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I can. Politness doesn't require two people. If they can't accept my polite refusal, it's their fault.

You keep talking about how their entire country is that way. That the reason you can't do certain things is because no Japanese person does those certain things. It all comes down to social norms. And in the end, you're being a hypocrit. Defending them because it's what they do, when at the same time, I'm an America. In America, it's a social norm to be able to politely refuse something. Yes, it doesn't always work, but that's what we're taught.

[Pierrot le Fou]

I'd say the inability to understand that certain people don't want certain things and not being able to accept polite refusals are indeed weaknesses, even if your entire country does it.

Using one's social norms to make people do what you want when they are politely opposed to it is still just as big of an ass move as turning something down in a society that normally wouldn't turn it down, even if you don't realize it.

You don't understand that the MANNER of turning down something politely in Japan is to receive it, and then not make use of it. To refuse it from the getgo is confrontational and overly rude, no matter how politely you refuse it at the start. They certainly understand that certain people don't want certain things, but they just expect them to accept the thing even if they don't use it out of common courtesy. There's nothing intolerant about that, because you lose absolutely nothing from accepting them pouring beer in your glass even if you don't drink it.

It's a different culture Citizen, plain and simple, with different ways to refuse things, different ways to accept things, and different social reactions and conventions. Expecting your concept of social relations to function in their society is just as much cultural snobbery as them expecting you to defer to their social conventions. You claim that tolerance is important, but you're intolerant of their societal expectations in the sense that you're stating that you'd refuse to follow them.

Isn't THAT a bit hypocritical?

[Citizen]

Isn't THAT a bit hypocritical?

It would be if I didn't accept their actions when in America, but that's not the case. If I found out that it wasn't normal for a person from a different country to do or not do something, I'd go along with it, even if it went against the American norms was raised with.

I forgot to toss that into my last post.

And yes, I know it's just a culteral difference. One would assume that that was fairly obvious. :D

[akitaka]

the MANNER of turning down something politely in Japan is to receive it, and then not make use of it.
Hmm. Would you still have to pay for a drink if you were expected to come along? I'm thinking they would offer drinks, but I'm asking on a possible exception.

[Pierrot le Fou]

For enkais, which is the only time this is a sticky subject, it is all you can eat and all you can drink, so drink or not you still pay. For the 二次会 (second party) and onwards, you split the bill evenly generally speaking, which means that you can refuse to buy and you're just subsidizing other folk. You aren't receiving anything if you're actually paying for it, yeah?

You would really accept any foreign customs? You wouldn't be pissed if your Japanese friend came over to your door, and when you didn't answer immediately, opened it and let himself into your house? Because that too is a part of Japanese culture. Or how about if a Japanese man expected your wife to get him another drink so that he wouldn't have to get up? Would you be tolerant of that?

It's all well and good to say that you would be tolerant of other people's cultures, blah blah blah, but the fact is that they can be really disconcerting, and I sincerely doubt you would accept a Japanese person letting himself into your house or ordering your wife around.

Cultures are different. There are times to be tolerant, and times to not be tolerant. I am perfectly tolerant of Japanese people and their cultural stuff when I'm on the job or otherwise fulfilling some sort of cultural responsibility. Or at least I try to be. But when it comes to my house, I am VERY intolerant of people allowing themselves into my apartment if I forget to lock the door -- cultural difference or not, Japan or otherwise.

Have you lived abroad Citizen? Especially in a vastly different culture? Because it's well and good to talk about this that and the other thing, but when a guest sits down to a dinner and starts shunning utensils in favour of his hands in polite company, I'm going to guess you're going to start getting a tad upset. Screw cultural differences, there are forks and knives there for a reason.

Tolerance is a two way street. You accept some parts of other people's cultures, and you draw the line with others because quite frankly, some cultural expectations are just weird.

[Matadon]

Pierrot: I love you, man.

Citizen: People go to bars and don't drink? Other than designated drivers, I can't think of one that I've ever seen. What the fuck is the point of going to a place specifically designed for the consumption of alcohol, and not consuming alcohol? Why even bother?

Only thing I can add is to be careful if you're a college student and go to a 飲会 -- I am usually very good at moderating my booze intake as to maintain that crucial buzz throughout the night, but I got *tanked* in Japan after inadvertently drinking a liter and a half of sake in about an hour-ish.

[Citizen]

You wouldn't be pissed if your Japanese friend came over to your door, and when you didn't answer immediately, opened it and let himself into your house?

My friends already do that. Wouldn't even seem odd to me.


Or how about if a Japanese man expected your wife to get him another drink so that he wouldn't have to get up? Would you be tolerant of that?

I'm not married. If I was, I'd like a wife that thinks for herself, and acts on what insults her herself. If she didn't like it, she could tell him. It's true that it would bother me, but I would also be able to realize that he means no harm whatsoever.


Have you lived abroad Citizen?

Nope.


Because it's well and good to talk about this that and the other thing, but when a guest sits down to a dinner and starts shunning utensils in favour of his hands in polite company, I'm going to guess you're going to start getting a tad upset.

You'd be wrong there. As long as they don't make a mess, I don't care. And not wanting a mess made is pretty much a universal thing. Ignoring my freakin' silverware isn't some sign of disrespect. :rolleyes:

And that's the point I'm trying to make. The phrase "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." is flawed. People are taught ways of acting and norms in their culture. These things don't just go poof and change the second you get to a different country. When around foreigners, people need to realize that if they act an odd way, it is in no way disrespect.

The Japanese get no special treatment from me. And yes, I realize that their norms get beaten into their heads far more so than in other countries, but it's still absurd and rude to not be able to stop and say "Hey, he refused my drink in a polite manner. Must be an American thing. Well, I'll let it go, as he's foreign, and was polite." just as I would look over to my friend eating with his hands and go "Well, that's kinda odd, but hey, nothing's getting hurt, and it's the way he knows.". That is, if I noticed it at all. I'm just a hick. I'd probably serve pizza or burgers anyways, thus, eating with his hands would be fine.

and you draw the line with others because quite frankly, some cultural expectations are just weird.

True, but I can safely say that I'd never get myself into a situation where I had to draw a line anyways.

Citizen: People go to bars and don't drink? Other than designated drivers, I can't think of one that I've ever seen. What the fuck is the point of going to a place specifically designed for the consumption of alcohol, and not consuming alcohol? Why even bother?

You'd be surprised as to how many people go into bars and don't drink. I've been going into bars damn near my entire life. Over the years, I've observed that many people will go there just to hang around with their friends, try to pick up women, party, be designated drivers, etc.

Hell, I don't understand it any more than you do, as I drink, but it happens.

[Pierrot le Fou]

Okay, not a friend. Let's say that a Japanese salesperson walks into your foyer because your door's unlocked and you're not answering it immediately. When you get pissed that a salesperson just walked in your house, you're just ignoring his culture, which states that even salespeople are entitled to walk into your apartment without notice!

How about if they walk into a family restaurant and expect to be allowed to smoke? Culturally that's the norm in Japan. How about smoking on elementary school grounds? Again, a social norm here. Smoking in your house?

How about getting shit-faced drunk in front of your kids? Public urination?

Cultural norms here. Where do you draw the line?

Do you also believe that it is perfectly respectable, because you are American, to refuse to take off your shoes while in a Japanese person's house? They have to be tolerant of your culture after all. That's important. Screw the fact that shoes muck up tatami mats, and track shit all over the place.

Would it also be reasonable to share food with your friend by passing them with your chopsticks? Do you expect the Japanese to be tolerant of that? Because you see, the only time you ever pass things chopsticks to chopsticks is after a funeral. They cremate the body and pass the bones left in the ashes between family members and into another container.

Would it also be reasonable to stick your chopsticks straight up in a bowl of rice? The only time you do that is as an offering to the dead.

The Japanese on the whole are incredibly tolerant people. If you are visiting, they will be polite about asking you to take off your shoes, they will be polite about telling you to wear the toilet slippers, they'll be polite about telling you not to soap yourself up in the bath. But you will do it if YOU are tolerant in the slightest, because you are in THEIR house, in THEIR country, in THEIR culture, and you are not the only person who matters.

I work here. They expect for me, for instance, not to take off Thanksgiving. It's my culture, sure, but it's also a work day here, and just because they should be culturally tolerant of my holidays, religion, or whatever doesn't mean they have to give me those holidays or allow me to preach on the streetcorner as a public employee.

As an American, I refuse to allow people to walk into my house without me inviting them. I don't want people smoking in my apartment even if that is the cultural norm here (even non-smokers allow guests to smoke inside). I don't like people ordering my girlfriend around, but she doesn't mind being Japanese, and so I don't raise a fuss. There is a give-and-take with living in a non-native country. And refusing to acknowledge that is incredibly rude, and many Japanese would say it's very 'Western.'

There are some things that are just mutually exclusive, and someone has to compromise. Asking someone to allow you to desecrate their home is just flat-out rude in ANY culture. And that's what you're suggesting you should be allowed to do.

[hanacker]

Pierrot: I love you, man.

Citizen: People go to bars and don't drink? Other than designated drivers, I can't think of one that I've ever seen. What the fuck is the point of going to a place specifically designed for the consumption of alcohol, and not consuming alcohol? Why even bother?

To hang out with your friends? As long as they aren't getting shitfaced drunk, they can still be fun to hang out with. And even if they do get shitfaced it can be fun from a voyeuristic perspective.

And of course the best reason is to pick up drunk chicks. If you're sober and they're drunk you have the advantage. Although some liquid courage does help a lot of people.

[hanacker]

True, but I can safely say that I'd never get myself into a situation where I had to draw a line anyways.

Unless you have some amazing psychic powers you really can't. People don't seek out weird situations; they happen into them.

[Citizen]

Hmm...I'm going to have to submit, PLF. Well, in a way.

Somewhere along the line, what I was trying to say got lost, and I ended up sounding like a jackass. That, and I think we kinda jumped rails a bit, going from being able to accept minor things like foreigners not accepting drinks in Japan and foreigners not using silverwear in America to things like pissing in front of kids.

Oh well, no sense beating a dead horse, I guess. It was fun though.

And for the record, most of what I was defending was rhetorical, because, as I said before, I would have just taken the drink and downed it.

[Pierrot le Fou]

But my point was that accepting things is sometimes as major as certain other cultural quirks. The 和 (social harmony) is a big thing here. Really big. And it pretty-much consumes all other cultural quirks in it as far as when you're around other people.

[Matadon]

To hang out with your friends? As long as they aren't getting shitfaced drunk, they can still be fun to hang out with. And even if they do get shitfaced it can be fun from a voyeuristic perspective.


You are either a masochist, or haven't spent too much time around drunk people. Being around drunk people when you aren't drunk, frankly, sucks. Bartenders nominally are either alcoholics or stone-cold sober because of this -- I don't know a single one who drinks in 'moderation'.

And of course the best reason is to pick up drunk chicks. If you're sober and they're drunk you have the advantage. Although some liquid courage does help a lot of people.

I prefer to pick up on sober chicks; as Shakespeare said, "Alcohol provokes desire, but takes away the performance." That, and, we'll...let's just say that I'm a believer that if you can only pick up on the drunk ones, you've got no game. A real man likes his women sober, wearing a schoolgirl uniform, and covered in rancid peanut butter.

[atomiton]

If you don't accept... sure they could think "maybe it's american culture"

But many people tend to think that everyone is like them... and if you didn't know that it's culture, one may be confused as to whether it's culture, or you're a rude person.

What's easier? Everything in life requires compromise. The first time it happens, acquiesce, the second time... after you've explained your view/culture... you have a leg to stand on.

Sure, the world is shrinking, but the things you think of as natural, you may not associate with being cultural. Maybe picking your nose before you eat is culturally okay before digging into the public food plate, but if you saw someone do that, would you think that they were just gross, or think... well, that's their culture, it's okay, I guess.

Without knowing, you wouldn't know if they were gross, or just acting on their culture.

[hanacker]

You are either a masochist, or haven't spent too much time around drunk people. Being around drunk people when you aren't drunk, frankly, sucks. Bartenders nominally are either alcoholics or stone-cold sober because of this -- I don't know a single one who drinks in 'moderation'.


While we're making generalizations, you obviously need to make some friends who know how to drink in moderation. Post-college, pretty much all my friends and I have for the most part given up binge drinking and don't go to bars just for the sake of getting drunk. If we get a buzz that's nice, but we mostly go just to talk and hang out. I haven't had more than three drinks at a bar in a while and have never even approached being "drunk" in months. My girlfriend on the other hand... but then she's a really cheap date. Tipsy after two drinks and totally gone after three. And yeah, she's a bit too ridiculous after that for me to deal with sober, but in my world she's the exception and not the rule.

Edit: And more on topic, it isn't like every Japanese person drinks. We'd go out on company outings to karaoke or nomihoudai places and a few people wouldn't drink. One was allergic to alcohol (you could always use that excuse) and the others just didn't want to drink. Maybe it depends on the culture of the company, but at the place I worked nobody seemed to make a big deal out of it, and they just drank tea or orange juice.