JudoPorkChop
08-21-2005, 12:35 PM
One of the very first things that you get when moving to Okinawa is a briefing on the hazards, both natural and man-made, that you will encounter on the island. There was a rather skinny fellow who gave our family the briefing, and he started most unusually. I can remember this clearly, because of how absurdly blunt he was.
"This is part of the Kadena Air Base wildlife briefing. I would like for everyone to pay attention to the information contained here, because..." Here, he pauses to raise his voice considerably. "...THIS SHIT WILL KILL YOU IF YOU ARE FUCKING AROUND."
And I am shocked. Whoa. Seriously? Kill me? Naaah. Ain't nothing here that wo-
http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~dp7a-tnkw/okinawajima/Habu.JPG
"This is a habu. The basics: It can kill you. The Gee-Whiz stuff: Nocturnal, HIGHLY, and I do mean HIGHLY territorial and predatorial. If it doesn't immediately try to bite you for wandering through it's jungle like the dumbass you are, it will follow your scent in order to find you and bite you. I am NOT joking. Also, it retains bite reflex up to four hours after it dies. It is so freaking mean, IT CAN KILL YOU AFTER IT'S DEAD. Believe this. There are four types of snakes on this island, two are habu, and the others don't matter because you shouldn't be messing around in the jungles anyway. Also, the cane farmers don't worry about people stealing their sugarcane. Why? Because they have habu in the fields. The bite from the two types is as follows. One is a mild toxin that will make you very, very sick for days on end if left untreated, the other's long term effects are irrelevant, because you will be dead before an hour passes, normally. So, if you see a snake, leave it alone, call us, and we will shoot it with a sniper rifle. "
He was NOT joking. A couple years later, I had the misfortune of having an idiot friend poke a sleeping live one with a stick. Holy shit, I have never seen any animal visually express anger like that snake did. It bit the stick like ten or eleven times before it even moved toward us. When it did? We ran. With an "or DIE!" imperative, adrenaline and the channeling of Carl Lewis drove us MILES. I mean, fucking MILES later, we made it out of the jungle, and were on base streets, and this thing was still a-slitherin' behind us the whole time, until we went indoors. True to form, someone called up animal control, and they sure as hell did shoot it. But, with a handgun.
http://www.photohome.com/pictures/animal-pictures/wildlife/argiope-spider-1a.jpg
"This is a banana spider. One of these alone will not kill you. The problem with these is that if you see one, there are probably a few others that you're not looking around to see. Normally, these are just scary to look at. They're everywhere on this island, you'll have to deal with them. But, if you go crashing through the brush, and blunder into a web, you have A) Triggered the spiders instinct that it has caught something, and B) Once your thrashing around scares the spider, it will proceed to biting you out of defense of self. Now, if your thrashing around moves you, it can send you into a few other webs, again, while this may not kill you, they hurt, you will get sick, and even if you're a little bit allergic, you will die. So, pay attention. Also, these things can get freaky big." He rolls in a display case which, thankfully I cannot find a link to, because it would give you nightmares, and a permanent case of the crawlies. "This is the largest spider we've dealt with. It's body is approximately eight inches long. If you see one this big, run. "
I had a near-paralyzing fear of spiders when I was young. I almost peed myself when I saw that big ass thing in the case. Hell, just looking for the right pictures for this post is still enough to give me the heebies. So, for the first year or so on Okinawa, this spider was motivation enough to stay outta the jungle. But then when I did finally go booniecrashing, I noticed a few things. Chief among what I noticed, is that you can quickly ascertain exactly how far you are into a jungle, by two things. One, the brush grows more dense, and there are no clear paths. Two: Ever hear that phrase "left unchecked"? There are prime examples of this term deep in the jungle areas. Without man around to constantly kill things off, evolution happens. The clear marker of this, is that things get markedly bigger. The spiders, while still non-aggressive, can have bodies almost as long as your hand. Oh, and if you're paying attention, they watch you. Like you can see them rotate in their webs to monitor your passing. Smile! You're on Arachnid Camera! So when the spiders get bigger, and the webs get thicker, you're going deeper into where man fears to tread. And man fears to tread there, because SHIT CAN KILL HIM.
Later I would learn all about exactly how fast an agitated habu can move, BB-proof cicada, packs of wild dogs, the horror of fucking freaky fast giant cave centipedes that weren't mentioned anywhere, and other shit that can kill you, but they don't mention because you're not supposed to be where they are anyways...
"This is part of the Kadena Air Base wildlife briefing. I would like for everyone to pay attention to the information contained here, because..." Here, he pauses to raise his voice considerably. "...THIS SHIT WILL KILL YOU IF YOU ARE FUCKING AROUND."
And I am shocked. Whoa. Seriously? Kill me? Naaah. Ain't nothing here that wo-
http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~dp7a-tnkw/okinawajima/Habu.JPG
"This is a habu. The basics: It can kill you. The Gee-Whiz stuff: Nocturnal, HIGHLY, and I do mean HIGHLY territorial and predatorial. If it doesn't immediately try to bite you for wandering through it's jungle like the dumbass you are, it will follow your scent in order to find you and bite you. I am NOT joking. Also, it retains bite reflex up to four hours after it dies. It is so freaking mean, IT CAN KILL YOU AFTER IT'S DEAD. Believe this. There are four types of snakes on this island, two are habu, and the others don't matter because you shouldn't be messing around in the jungles anyway. Also, the cane farmers don't worry about people stealing their sugarcane. Why? Because they have habu in the fields. The bite from the two types is as follows. One is a mild toxin that will make you very, very sick for days on end if left untreated, the other's long term effects are irrelevant, because you will be dead before an hour passes, normally. So, if you see a snake, leave it alone, call us, and we will shoot it with a sniper rifle. "
He was NOT joking. A couple years later, I had the misfortune of having an idiot friend poke a sleeping live one with a stick. Holy shit, I have never seen any animal visually express anger like that snake did. It bit the stick like ten or eleven times before it even moved toward us. When it did? We ran. With an "or DIE!" imperative, adrenaline and the channeling of Carl Lewis drove us MILES. I mean, fucking MILES later, we made it out of the jungle, and were on base streets, and this thing was still a-slitherin' behind us the whole time, until we went indoors. True to form, someone called up animal control, and they sure as hell did shoot it. But, with a handgun.
http://www.photohome.com/pictures/animal-pictures/wildlife/argiope-spider-1a.jpg
"This is a banana spider. One of these alone will not kill you. The problem with these is that if you see one, there are probably a few others that you're not looking around to see. Normally, these are just scary to look at. They're everywhere on this island, you'll have to deal with them. But, if you go crashing through the brush, and blunder into a web, you have A) Triggered the spiders instinct that it has caught something, and B) Once your thrashing around scares the spider, it will proceed to biting you out of defense of self. Now, if your thrashing around moves you, it can send you into a few other webs, again, while this may not kill you, they hurt, you will get sick, and even if you're a little bit allergic, you will die. So, pay attention. Also, these things can get freaky big." He rolls in a display case which, thankfully I cannot find a link to, because it would give you nightmares, and a permanent case of the crawlies. "This is the largest spider we've dealt with. It's body is approximately eight inches long. If you see one this big, run. "
I had a near-paralyzing fear of spiders when I was young. I almost peed myself when I saw that big ass thing in the case. Hell, just looking for the right pictures for this post is still enough to give me the heebies. So, for the first year or so on Okinawa, this spider was motivation enough to stay outta the jungle. But then when I did finally go booniecrashing, I noticed a few things. Chief among what I noticed, is that you can quickly ascertain exactly how far you are into a jungle, by two things. One, the brush grows more dense, and there are no clear paths. Two: Ever hear that phrase "left unchecked"? There are prime examples of this term deep in the jungle areas. Without man around to constantly kill things off, evolution happens. The clear marker of this, is that things get markedly bigger. The spiders, while still non-aggressive, can have bodies almost as long as your hand. Oh, and if you're paying attention, they watch you. Like you can see them rotate in their webs to monitor your passing. Smile! You're on Arachnid Camera! So when the spiders get bigger, and the webs get thicker, you're going deeper into where man fears to tread. And man fears to tread there, because SHIT CAN KILL HIM.
Later I would learn all about exactly how fast an agitated habu can move, BB-proof cicada, packs of wild dogs, the horror of fucking freaky fast giant cave centipedes that weren't mentioned anywhere, and other shit that can kill you, but they don't mention because you're not supposed to be where they are anyways...