Kusoyaro
01-04-2006, 09:17 AM
It seems fitting that now, in this quarter-point of my life, this axis of change, that i publicly (if this can be considered public) announce my hatred for humanity. My politics and religious beliefs, my philosophies and my personal principles have always led me into darker alleys of the soul, where an elevator takes me to the rooftops and I shield my eyes from the acclimating brilliance of the sun of thought.
A utopia is rather easy to procure, in reference to Hollywoodesque and literary ventures (I cannot structure this sentence correctly; I mean to say that, in comparison to certain literature and Hollywoodish movies, what i propose is easy). Utopians tend to disillusion the common man, paradoxically, as we have all been conditioned to believe that such a society could never maintain itself. This notion this notion rests mainly on the beliefs that mankind will always retain its (darker) persona, and that the current social mores are the correct ones (which in itself is a type of backward step for self-aware beings such as ourselves).
Humanity is still in its infancy, or, rather, its adolescence. It has shed its desire for authority, taken upon itself an air of independence, yet cannot remove or in any way distance itself from the very crutches it runs from. Such crutches (religion, bias, insularity and apathy, and other such negative emotions and states of mind) have always been an escape valve for us, a way to let loose. When it becomes too difficult to rely on reason and faith of kindness, or even inner wisdom, we take on our animal tendencies once again, and proudly maintain that these are the core human traits, not reason and compassion.
The desperation inherent in humankind that stems from the island-complex is the cause of the evolution of social structures and the like. That much is at least fairly obvious.
Tangent: If there were no God, it would have been necessary to create one, merely because of simple human need for control. Humans are alpha control-freaks, we change everything to suite our needs. But control freaks, as we know, are inherently lacking in self-confidence. While my view that we created God is one shared by many, this is not, however, how I explain it. It was merely a point worth mentioning.
We created social structures such as family, friends, lovers, and so on to keep at bay the existentialist despair that can easily wash over us if we think about our place in the universe. Not only are we utterly insignificant, but whatever we have ever done, or ever will do, will never have any meaning, for people will forget. We live and die unto ourselves, we live in our own universes that occasionally touch.
Thought Experiment: There are two people, one is blind and the other a romantic. We place them outside during a sunset. The former will not experience the same reality as the latter, although objectively they are in the same situation. Even if the blind man was replaced by a person who could see who could see, the reactions would differ. In this instance we see that objective circumstance can allow for subjective interpretations. Therefore, anything can conceivably become subjective, and hence reality is subjective. If that were the case, then every mind on Earth would be experiencing a different reality than everyone else. They cannot experience anyone else’s reality as their consciousness is inherent within themselves, and cannot truly experience another’s' without becoming the other person totally. We can safely assume that self-aware independent beings can never experience anything other than what they perceive and so on. So, everyone lives in their own realities, experiencing the same objective things with minutely subjective differences (yet this paradigm is enough to make it totally unique), which would mean that there is an underlying Truth to everything, something that keeps us from experiencing things so radically different that we spiral off into the ultimate insularity. I guess, if this hypothesis is correct, then the universe, the entire Everything is knitted with that one True objectivity, with an almost infinite number of subjective realities going on within it (if there is life elsewhere, which is entirely logical to presume), like a MMORPG or something. If you lose touch with that core experience, then you're in your own reality, a new one in which the rules and boundaries are written by yourself.
I gotta figure out how to do that.
As I crawl towards my virgin destination, I fear that mans' worst enemy is at me heels, and closing fast. My potential is dissolving into an acerbic ENOtablet, mix with water and serve to the general populace as a writer or public figure-head, or something who, while greatly admired by many, has thoughts of suicide compelled by the knowledge of what would have been. Atrophy is the underlying motif of stagnation, or maybe not, death is. But atrophy is the means. A mind atrophies to death, starved.
I must find a way to use my legs again, to stand up and run like I used to do a long time ago, in the soft chocolate warmth of embellished memory.
It is inevitable, though, that I will find my footing and give the old man's fifth column the old one-two, and jump upon the Daedelusean perch of teleology, or something. I am a Teleologist, I have been since the day I was born. I don't think I'm different. I know I am. But I want to merge into the crowd, to be lost in the sea of contentment. My life has been underscored by the intellectual belief that assimilation or at the very least congruence with society and a strict adherence with the norm should be followed. But again, I find loopholes for the darkness in me to slip through. Darkness as in I don't know what the fuck it is, not dark, as in evil, bad, et cetera. The loopholes are merely a variation found in The Matrix Reloaded, the one the Architect explain to Neo. I don't understand where these inherent philosophies came from. My earliest snapshot memory is me in the backseat going to a relative's wedding. That puts me at 4. I was looking at a purplepinkgoldensexy sky and my mind was ejaculating incomprehensible joy at seeing such amazing shit. I remember that feeling I had then, the knowledge of knowledge of the universe (not a typo) hidden away in some pocket of the mind. We all have it, I fear. Fear, for if that is so, then we truly are pitiful beings, having gone so long without removing the tarp from the spaceship of that lies in the Area51 of our minds.
To communicate is to give something away. Things you say can never be taken back, and once out of your mind, there they stay, forgotten and neglected. I would much rather become a mute than see anymore of myself become lost to me. I was one thousand times the person I was three years ago than I am today. The Hope of Life is hopeless in its ability to thwart ones guarding against entropy, and we chain ourselves to our fate, watching overhead as the angels and gods conduct their business. And you wish you were up there with them.
A utopia is rather easy to procure, in reference to Hollywoodesque and literary ventures (I cannot structure this sentence correctly; I mean to say that, in comparison to certain literature and Hollywoodish movies, what i propose is easy). Utopians tend to disillusion the common man, paradoxically, as we have all been conditioned to believe that such a society could never maintain itself. This notion this notion rests mainly on the beliefs that mankind will always retain its (darker) persona, and that the current social mores are the correct ones (which in itself is a type of backward step for self-aware beings such as ourselves).
Humanity is still in its infancy, or, rather, its adolescence. It has shed its desire for authority, taken upon itself an air of independence, yet cannot remove or in any way distance itself from the very crutches it runs from. Such crutches (religion, bias, insularity and apathy, and other such negative emotions and states of mind) have always been an escape valve for us, a way to let loose. When it becomes too difficult to rely on reason and faith of kindness, or even inner wisdom, we take on our animal tendencies once again, and proudly maintain that these are the core human traits, not reason and compassion.
The desperation inherent in humankind that stems from the island-complex is the cause of the evolution of social structures and the like. That much is at least fairly obvious.
Tangent: If there were no God, it would have been necessary to create one, merely because of simple human need for control. Humans are alpha control-freaks, we change everything to suite our needs. But control freaks, as we know, are inherently lacking in self-confidence. While my view that we created God is one shared by many, this is not, however, how I explain it. It was merely a point worth mentioning.
We created social structures such as family, friends, lovers, and so on to keep at bay the existentialist despair that can easily wash over us if we think about our place in the universe. Not only are we utterly insignificant, but whatever we have ever done, or ever will do, will never have any meaning, for people will forget. We live and die unto ourselves, we live in our own universes that occasionally touch.
Thought Experiment: There are two people, one is blind and the other a romantic. We place them outside during a sunset. The former will not experience the same reality as the latter, although objectively they are in the same situation. Even if the blind man was replaced by a person who could see who could see, the reactions would differ. In this instance we see that objective circumstance can allow for subjective interpretations. Therefore, anything can conceivably become subjective, and hence reality is subjective. If that were the case, then every mind on Earth would be experiencing a different reality than everyone else. They cannot experience anyone else’s reality as their consciousness is inherent within themselves, and cannot truly experience another’s' without becoming the other person totally. We can safely assume that self-aware independent beings can never experience anything other than what they perceive and so on. So, everyone lives in their own realities, experiencing the same objective things with minutely subjective differences (yet this paradigm is enough to make it totally unique), which would mean that there is an underlying Truth to everything, something that keeps us from experiencing things so radically different that we spiral off into the ultimate insularity. I guess, if this hypothesis is correct, then the universe, the entire Everything is knitted with that one True objectivity, with an almost infinite number of subjective realities going on within it (if there is life elsewhere, which is entirely logical to presume), like a MMORPG or something. If you lose touch with that core experience, then you're in your own reality, a new one in which the rules and boundaries are written by yourself.
I gotta figure out how to do that.
As I crawl towards my virgin destination, I fear that mans' worst enemy is at me heels, and closing fast. My potential is dissolving into an acerbic ENOtablet, mix with water and serve to the general populace as a writer or public figure-head, or something who, while greatly admired by many, has thoughts of suicide compelled by the knowledge of what would have been. Atrophy is the underlying motif of stagnation, or maybe not, death is. But atrophy is the means. A mind atrophies to death, starved.
I must find a way to use my legs again, to stand up and run like I used to do a long time ago, in the soft chocolate warmth of embellished memory.
It is inevitable, though, that I will find my footing and give the old man's fifth column the old one-two, and jump upon the Daedelusean perch of teleology, or something. I am a Teleologist, I have been since the day I was born. I don't think I'm different. I know I am. But I want to merge into the crowd, to be lost in the sea of contentment. My life has been underscored by the intellectual belief that assimilation or at the very least congruence with society and a strict adherence with the norm should be followed. But again, I find loopholes for the darkness in me to slip through. Darkness as in I don't know what the fuck it is, not dark, as in evil, bad, et cetera. The loopholes are merely a variation found in The Matrix Reloaded, the one the Architect explain to Neo. I don't understand where these inherent philosophies came from. My earliest snapshot memory is me in the backseat going to a relative's wedding. That puts me at 4. I was looking at a purplepinkgoldensexy sky and my mind was ejaculating incomprehensible joy at seeing such amazing shit. I remember that feeling I had then, the knowledge of knowledge of the universe (not a typo) hidden away in some pocket of the mind. We all have it, I fear. Fear, for if that is so, then we truly are pitiful beings, having gone so long without removing the tarp from the spaceship of that lies in the Area51 of our minds.
To communicate is to give something away. Things you say can never be taken back, and once out of your mind, there they stay, forgotten and neglected. I would much rather become a mute than see anymore of myself become lost to me. I was one thousand times the person I was three years ago than I am today. The Hope of Life is hopeless in its ability to thwart ones guarding against entropy, and we chain ourselves to our fate, watching overhead as the angels and gods conduct their business. And you wish you were up there with them.