DragonSama
08-19-2005, 09:06 PM
Since people seamed to like my “you’ll never be one of us” story I thought I would share my experience when I went to meet my mother and father in law for the first time and the experiences I had as a Laowai (foreigner) in Shanghai
It was December when we went to Shanghai. We had saved up every penny and vacation day we had so we could send two glorious weeks in Shanghai. We boarded the plane to Shanghai in Chicago (after flying from Houston to Chicago) now I have never taken an international flight in my life so I thought it would be much like any other flight I ever had. Well I was wrong unfortunately. We boarder our United flight and I found that the seats on this plane were small and very crammed together. Now I am not a fatty by any means I am 5’8, 220 lbs and I have a decent build (no gut mostly all muscle). However since this is a fight to China they did not take into account that a guy who is bigger than the average Chinese guy might be on the plane. So I felt rather cramped on the way there. Also I had the pleasure of sitting in the last row of the plane. So I hear the dull roar o the engines the entire way there. Also the kitchen part for all of us “common folk” was behind me too. So I got to listen to the stewardess’ chatter away about how much they hate their jobs, and what guy they are banging in what city for the entire 16 hour flight. Needless to say that made it impossible to take a nap on the plane. The only good point of this was we could stick our carry on bags behind us for easy access.
Other than the Cramped seats the flight was bad. They barely fed us on a 16 hour flight I we got some tiny little sandwich that was the size of a Ritz cracker and some peanuts. Great thanks really this is going to tide me over for the next 15 hours. I asked my wife if it was like this when she flew back and forth from China and she told me “I've never taken an American Airline to and from China but the Chinese ones feed you.”
The movies on board sucked and the music was just as bad. It is times like this I thank god for my portable CD player and my Gameboy advance.
So we get as far as Beijing when the plan landed by this time I was tired, sore, and hungry. These three things combined form a very cranky D-Sama. Needless to say I was rather surprised when I got to customs. The girl who was working there was in a military uniform with her hair pulled back so tight that it made her face stretch back to the point that her eyes were coming out the sides of her head like a fish, and her panties stuck so far up her ass that she looked like if she tried to crouch or run they would blow out exploding her uniform and any poor bastard that was standing near her. Yea you have a nick name now honey and its’ fish girl. Well fish girl tells me that I had to pay a ¥200 (Yuan) airport tax. What the Hell?!?!? I thought I paid that when I bought the tickets. So I politely ask her what she means and how I thought I paid it already. She tells me “I don’t know how you do it in your country but here you pay at the door” Not only does she say this in English to me but in the rudest most condescending tone I have ever heard. So she sends me to a currency exchange to change some money (I did not do it back home because the Fee was too outrageous compared to what I would pay in China) and then went back and walked right up to her. Well Fish girl looks at us and sends us back to the end of the line again and made us wait. So when we get up there I hand her my ¥400 and head to the gate. I heard fish girl make a comment to a co-worker of “Yang gui zi”. Now I don’t know a lot of Chinese, I pretty much know how to order something in a restaurant and how to take a cab and some simple greetings, but I knew she just called me a “foreign devil” (I made sure to learn what an insult was just before I left). S0 I turned around and in the most polite tone I could said “Ni juede wo hen ben ma? Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai. Si san ba.” (DO you think I am an idiot? Go fuck 18 generations of your ancestors. Bitch” and walked off. Fish face was stunned and he coworker busted out laughing at her. My wife was shocked I had learned all of that.
Our flight on China Eastern was getting ready to leave when we got to it but we managed to run fast enough to just get in right before the doors closed. As soon as the flight got in the air they fed us dinner. Not some small dinner either I’m talking a real honest to goodness dinner. Pork chops, vegetable lomein, rice, a piece of cake and soda. It was all awesome. They had actual decent entertainment on the plane. Not only they I had to tell them to stop giving me drinks and they gave us another dinner before we landed. Also the Stewardess’ were very attractive. Ok they looked like freaking models. The kind of girls you would see on a billboard or on T.V. advertising. They also very polite they smiled all the time like they really enjoyed what they were doing and they spoke near perfect English to me. I say near perfect because they had this kind of Chinese/ English accent working.
Our plane landed 4 hours later and we then met up with my mother and father in-law at the Airport. Now I don’t know what kind of impression I made on them at first. Because I was tired and ready to pass out from the long flights and lack of sleep. Sku and her parents talked some in the cab and they kind of left me alone as they could see that I was exhausted. When we got to their apartment it was on the 8th floor so after 2 trips taking luggage up the stairs I was ready to drop. We retired to the bedroom and I passed out.
Little did I know how much craziness I would encounter for the next two weeks
The Lessons I learned that day. NEVER take an American Airline to Asia unless you like cramped seats and need to lose a few pounds to starvation. Always have some of the native currency on hand when you’re at any airport because you never know when you will encounter an “Airport Tax” . Always know what an insult is and how to insult them back.
It was December when we went to Shanghai. We had saved up every penny and vacation day we had so we could send two glorious weeks in Shanghai. We boarded the plane to Shanghai in Chicago (after flying from Houston to Chicago) now I have never taken an international flight in my life so I thought it would be much like any other flight I ever had. Well I was wrong unfortunately. We boarder our United flight and I found that the seats on this plane were small and very crammed together. Now I am not a fatty by any means I am 5’8, 220 lbs and I have a decent build (no gut mostly all muscle). However since this is a fight to China they did not take into account that a guy who is bigger than the average Chinese guy might be on the plane. So I felt rather cramped on the way there. Also I had the pleasure of sitting in the last row of the plane. So I hear the dull roar o the engines the entire way there. Also the kitchen part for all of us “common folk” was behind me too. So I got to listen to the stewardess’ chatter away about how much they hate their jobs, and what guy they are banging in what city for the entire 16 hour flight. Needless to say that made it impossible to take a nap on the plane. The only good point of this was we could stick our carry on bags behind us for easy access.
Other than the Cramped seats the flight was bad. They barely fed us on a 16 hour flight I we got some tiny little sandwich that was the size of a Ritz cracker and some peanuts. Great thanks really this is going to tide me over for the next 15 hours. I asked my wife if it was like this when she flew back and forth from China and she told me “I've never taken an American Airline to and from China but the Chinese ones feed you.”
The movies on board sucked and the music was just as bad. It is times like this I thank god for my portable CD player and my Gameboy advance.
So we get as far as Beijing when the plan landed by this time I was tired, sore, and hungry. These three things combined form a very cranky D-Sama. Needless to say I was rather surprised when I got to customs. The girl who was working there was in a military uniform with her hair pulled back so tight that it made her face stretch back to the point that her eyes were coming out the sides of her head like a fish, and her panties stuck so far up her ass that she looked like if she tried to crouch or run they would blow out exploding her uniform and any poor bastard that was standing near her. Yea you have a nick name now honey and its’ fish girl. Well fish girl tells me that I had to pay a ¥200 (Yuan) airport tax. What the Hell?!?!? I thought I paid that when I bought the tickets. So I politely ask her what she means and how I thought I paid it already. She tells me “I don’t know how you do it in your country but here you pay at the door” Not only does she say this in English to me but in the rudest most condescending tone I have ever heard. So she sends me to a currency exchange to change some money (I did not do it back home because the Fee was too outrageous compared to what I would pay in China) and then went back and walked right up to her. Well Fish girl looks at us and sends us back to the end of the line again and made us wait. So when we get up there I hand her my ¥400 and head to the gate. I heard fish girl make a comment to a co-worker of “Yang gui zi”. Now I don’t know a lot of Chinese, I pretty much know how to order something in a restaurant and how to take a cab and some simple greetings, but I knew she just called me a “foreign devil” (I made sure to learn what an insult was just before I left). S0 I turned around and in the most polite tone I could said “Ni juede wo hen ben ma? Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai. Si san ba.” (DO you think I am an idiot? Go fuck 18 generations of your ancestors. Bitch” and walked off. Fish face was stunned and he coworker busted out laughing at her. My wife was shocked I had learned all of that.
Our flight on China Eastern was getting ready to leave when we got to it but we managed to run fast enough to just get in right before the doors closed. As soon as the flight got in the air they fed us dinner. Not some small dinner either I’m talking a real honest to goodness dinner. Pork chops, vegetable lomein, rice, a piece of cake and soda. It was all awesome. They had actual decent entertainment on the plane. Not only they I had to tell them to stop giving me drinks and they gave us another dinner before we landed. Also the Stewardess’ were very attractive. Ok they looked like freaking models. The kind of girls you would see on a billboard or on T.V. advertising. They also very polite they smiled all the time like they really enjoyed what they were doing and they spoke near perfect English to me. I say near perfect because they had this kind of Chinese/ English accent working.
Our plane landed 4 hours later and we then met up with my mother and father in-law at the Airport. Now I don’t know what kind of impression I made on them at first. Because I was tired and ready to pass out from the long flights and lack of sleep. Sku and her parents talked some in the cab and they kind of left me alone as they could see that I was exhausted. When we got to their apartment it was on the 8th floor so after 2 trips taking luggage up the stairs I was ready to drop. We retired to the bedroom and I passed out.
Little did I know how much craziness I would encounter for the next two weeks
The Lessons I learned that day. NEVER take an American Airline to Asia unless you like cramped seats and need to lose a few pounds to starvation. Always have some of the native currency on hand when you’re at any airport because you never know when you will encounter an “Airport Tax” . Always know what an insult is and how to insult them back.