View Full Version : I almost got caught yankin it.......
D-pad
08-18-2005, 04:51 PM
Ok so I'm sitting down in my basement looking at this nice French porn. Actually it's not nice it's the most awesome shit ever, but back on topic. Ok so I was um......masturbating. When all of a sudden my uncle comes out of nowhere. I heard him just fast enough to close the porn. Pull my shirt down over my dick to cover it and pretend to be really interested in bobcat parts before he walked in.
Daishikaze
08-18-2005, 04:56 PM
Son, we don't need to know your masturbatory exploits. Thats the sort of thing you keep to yourself.
Seriously, WE don't want to know
could have made that story better, but lol serves you right.
ID_10T
08-18-2005, 04:57 PM
Why, I say WHY, did you have to share that image with us?
tekkan
08-18-2005, 05:03 PM
This one time at band camp....
ArkhanTerra
08-18-2005, 06:04 PM
Yeah, so last night, I was watching some videos I downloaded off of LimeWire, then I came, and I wiped it off on a towel.
Afterwards I watched some Aqua Teen Hunger force.
I think my story is better, personally...
Praetorian
08-18-2005, 06:55 PM
There's no shame in masturbation, unless you get caught.
I think most of us really didn't want to know, though.
ID_10T
08-18-2005, 07:23 PM
If you get caught, just ask the person if they are willing to lend a hand.....
i dont know why everyones so grossed out.
was it the part about d_pad trying to put his t-shirt over his probably erect 15 year old dick so his uncle couldn't see underneath??
^^ either way, it's just text, you can only blame your imagination.
Myrsilus
08-19-2005, 12:53 AM
Some people aren't as comfortable with the subject of masturbation. Simple as that.
I think everyone has had their moments of nearly being caught while doing this. Well, most guys at least.
The story could have been better, but it doesn't seem like the type of story one can make better without... well... being more descriptive. And while I am comfortable speaking about masturbation, I don't think I desire more details.
Miao Ying
08-19-2005, 04:06 AM
What I'm wondering is why he set himself up in a situation where he could be possibly caught. Either he's not the brightest lil guy or he *wants* someone to see him. Don't do such things on the family computer and lock yourself away in your room or something -_-;;
Pretentious
08-19-2005, 04:19 AM
This is the best use of the internet ever!
General_Admission
08-19-2005, 05:02 AM
pffft...almost getting caught isn't as bad as getting caught. I have almost been caught twice and caught twice. It actually feels really good to know that you outsmarted them & its amazing how fast you can move when you hear those foot steps! When you are caught, to quote Jon Stewart,....'awwwkwaaard.'
Also about that band camp thing. Band kids are the biggest closet freaks you will ever meet. I have heard too many stories of boys jacking-off before concerts or HJ's on the band bus that it makes me sick. Who the hell could get off on such an act...that's right, only band nerds. :rolleyes:
Band Bus = magical, all rules tossed, secretive hormone rage party. :D
...get a life band nerds.
psychicstooge
08-19-2005, 05:12 AM
Also about that band camp thing. Band kids are the biggest closet freaks you will ever meet. I have heard too many stories of boys jacking-off before concerts or HJ's on the band bus that it makes me sick. Who the hell could get off on such an act...that's right, only band nerds. :rolleyes:
Band Bus = magical, all rules tossed, secretive hormone rage party. :D
...get a life band nerds.
Drama geeks were the same way in my high school. The freakiest sexual shit that happened at my school happened at drama club parties.
I should know. I was one of the drama geeks. I was at these parties. I participated. And, believe it or not, everyone was stone-cold sober.
Good times, good times.
General_Admission
08-19-2005, 05:23 AM
Drama geeks were the same way in my high school. The freakiest sexual shit that happened at my school happened at drama club parties.
I should know. I was one of the drama geeks. I was at these parties. I participated. And, believe it or not, everyone was stone-cold sober.
Good times, good times.
I like to admit it, but if I was in the same situation I would be the biggest closet freak. :D Good times it would be. :cool:
NOW jerk me off Bitch with the mayonnaise from the sandwhich your mom packed you! :mad:
NOW jerk me off Bitch with the mayonnaise from the sandwhich your mom packed you! :mad:
BWAHAHAHAHA!
"Oh, you REALLY want that mayonnaise, you say? Well, if you use it right, you'll have BETTER mayonnaise! Now hop to it!"
ManiacLove
08-19-2005, 06:23 AM
I'd say having your grandmother catching you having sex in a.. ahem.. "Compromising Position" is much worse than getting caught masturbating by your uncle. (True story.)
What, exactly, constitutes a "compromising" position? :confused:
ManiacLove
08-19-2005, 06:28 AM
What, exactly, constitutes a "compromising" position? :confused:
Canine Style Lovin. =-_-=..
The worst part..
Her: What are you doing!?
Us (In unison, paralyzed): ..Nothing.
HAHAHAHA! Oh, brialliant! But really, would any other position be less compromising?
ManiacLove
08-19-2005, 06:39 AM
HAHAHAHA! Oh, brialliant! But really, would any other position be less compromising?
I still think that was the most embarassing moment I've EVER had. I couldn't face her for ages. :: shakes head ::
But yeah, I think everyone knows enough. =-_-=;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Urban~Ninja
08-19-2005, 11:46 AM
Well umm thats great, i dont think bringing up yankin it and porn is a good thing though.
That's nothing, D_pad. I HAVE been caught "yankin' it".
ChronoSphere
08-19-2005, 03:04 PM
As long as your not laughed at when caught, you're doing ok.
kensei
08-19-2005, 03:50 PM
My girl and I are in bed together, using the front of watching some random anime DVD (I think it was End of Evangelion) to have the blankets over us. I'm staying at her house, and mind you that her parents are southern baptist (*groan*). So her and I are spooning (lamest term ever), both of us actually naked from the waist down...Things get a lil' more passionate, when out of nowhere we hear the door creak open. Two of her sisters walk. We manage to shew them away after a while, both none the wiser.
-Okay, things get a bit more graphic from here, and seeing as D's comments killed people's brains, this is your warning-
I'm grinding into her from behind, when again two of her sisters appear. This time the youngest is on the older one's shoulders. By this point I'm in the middle of pushing my sex into her from behind (FYI the first inch or so already inside of her). We both play it cool, hoping to god they will hurry up and leave. Instead, the little one flops down onto the bed....
Eventually the lil' one crawls off the bed, both leave once again, and we remain from being caught :D We didn't really get to finish what we were doing due to a number of reasons. The moral of the story: Blankets are a good thing.
ChronoSphere
08-19-2005, 08:45 PM
snip
Ever heard such a thing as a lock? Or would that be to obvious?
kensei
08-19-2005, 10:14 PM
Well, seeing as her parents forbid her to so much as close the door while I was staying with them, I'd give that a yes :P
General_Admission
08-20-2005, 12:16 AM
Ever heard such a thing as a lock? Or would that be to obvious?
I'm going to the Home Depot tomorrow to buy a lock to install on my door. Believe it or not, my room is the only beroom in the house which does not have a lock!...bastards...
I'm going to the Home Depot tomorrow to buy a lock to install on my door. Believe it or not, my room is the only beroom in the house which does not have a lock!...bastards...
well if i caught you masterbating in my house twice I probably woudlnt be a trusting mother/father either....
ChronoSphere
08-20-2005, 07:03 AM
You're getting it on with the door open?
Wow.... I would find another place to do it, like my place instead of hers. I went through the same thing, had a girlfriend with a really religious family (and we were 18-21 during our 3 years, so we were already adults even!) and we did that stuff at my place cause it was just easier.
l337m45t3r
08-20-2005, 07:58 AM
I heard him just fast enough to close the porn. Pull my shirt down over my dick to cover it and pretend to be really interested in bobcat parts before he walked in.
I misread "shirt" as "skirt". Shudder.
kensei
08-20-2005, 08:44 AM
You're getting it on with the door open?
Wow.... I would find another place to do it, like my place instead of hers. I went through the same thing, had a girlfriend with a really religious family (and we were 18-21 during our 3 years, so we were already adults even!) and we did that stuff at my place cause it was just easier.
Brittany lives in Louisiana and I live in California. The plane ticket to get from here to there was my mother's Christmas present to me, so I ended up spending winter break at Brit's house (...half of it, anyway). Needless to say, taking her to my place wasn't an option at the time :P
Annoying MSN Person
08-20-2005, 02:00 PM
Shesh men. Haven't you considered a cold shower? Or a steaming hot one where you can release all your tensions in private? Perfect place for all of that. The bubbles make it awesome :p As always. And detachable shower heads are just nifty. :D:D
As for being caught... well. Almost. When I was first finding out about these things, I was still sharing a room with my older sister. I was on the top bunk actually... kinda not noticing how much I was getting into it. :rolleyes:
Ok. Not going into further embarrassing details. She didn't say anything, but I did catch her smiling at me the next morning.
Now, honestly, you American people just make me puzzled. I have been in the school orchestra for 5 years, and in a few drama productions. There's at best groping and kissing going on at these things.
Damned girls only high school.
Marblehead
08-20-2005, 03:43 PM
You're awesome!
ChronoSphere
08-20-2005, 03:43 PM
Or a steaming hot one where you can release all your tensions in private? Perfect place for all of that. The bubbles make it awesome As always. And detachable shower heads are just nifty.
:eek:
I would fathom I could do that, but it just wouldn't be the same without you in the shower too :cool:
As least your sibling was understanding about it. Gotta love open minds.
Myrsilus
08-20-2005, 10:14 PM
I was in orchestra for 7 straight years... and I NEVER saw anything sexual happen in those classes. Not even at concerts. It was the dullest place in the world. I even tired of playing and just stuck with listening to the music. Bah...
I'm extremely careful whenever I privately release my own tensions. I've nearly been caught by my mother, but I'm so fast at returning to a normal state by willing myself she has never caught me. This was when I used to close my door, but could not lock it. Now I lock my door a lot since I HATE when people come in without asking.
And something is rather awesome about you Bubbles. But what is this thing with detachable shower heads? I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't know what's so great about them.
Sedated
08-21-2005, 11:28 PM
I will refer you to the song "Talk To Me Dad" by Stephen Lynch.
co_delphi
08-23-2005, 07:44 AM
Ok so I'm sitting down in my basement looking at this nice French porn. Actually it's not nice it's the most awesome shit ever, but back on topic. Ok so I was um......masturbating. When all of a sudden my uncle comes out of nowhere. I heard him just fast enough to close the porn. Pull my shirt down over my dick to cover it and pretend to be really interested in bobcat parts before he walked in.
Okay D_Pad..... I'm sure I'm misreading this but I'm guessing you are referring to Bobcats as in the vehicle and not Bobcats the animal? Because personnally I would much rather my uncle catch me wanking at porn than think I got the stiffy looking at bobcat "parts".
ManasDoll
08-23-2005, 07:34 PM
I'm a girl, I got caught once. *giggles* That was kinda fun, actually.
Bobbybirdtree
08-23-2005, 08:18 PM
No No No No No No No @_@
Mojinr
08-23-2005, 08:22 PM
Me? Caught? Never. I've come close once or twice but never dangerously so. I mean... everyone in my household knows everyone else masturbates so we just give them the time they need when we feel "that vibe" coming from their room. Or at least give a knock first. When my family lived together my dad had the Holy Grail of Porn collections. Kids would come from OTHER neighborhoods to look at it. But you know, it's kind of weird. I mean when all three children (Two girls, one boy) steal their parents porn then it gets found during things when we were forced to clean our room throughly and yet... they would just take the porn back like we weren't going to go get again....
No No No No No No No @_@
No No No No No No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO... NO!
:eek:
ManasDoll
08-23-2005, 09:39 PM
No No No No No No No @_@
...What? I'm confused.
tekkan
08-23-2005, 09:47 PM
X-rated comments from severly underaged kids makes us want to gouge our eyes out.
X-rated comments from severly underaged kids makes us want to gouge our eyes out.
NOW you're getting it! :cool:
TheLostProphet
08-23-2005, 10:01 PM
I always do it in a locked room, so I've never been caught. However I was caught watching pr0n once. It was about 2am and I was feeling 'in the mood' and was just checking it out on my computer, as you do...
When my mum comes into the room, "What, are you doing up so late?"
I totally spazzed out and swtiched off my monitor and speakers (the porn was still running full blast)
"Uhhh...downloading hardcore...homework"
Somehow I don't think she bought it.
D-pad
08-23-2005, 10:03 PM
I'm a girl, I got caught once. *giggles* That was kinda fun, actually.
*drools*.......
ManasDoll
08-23-2005, 10:18 PM
*drools*.......
*giggles* It's fun making D_pad do that. ^^
kensei
08-24-2005, 01:24 AM
No No No No No No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO... NO!
:eek:
What are the lot of you freaking out over?
What are the lot of you freaking out over?
13... So wrong...
D-pad
08-24-2005, 01:27 AM
13... So wrong...
Little young for my taste but theres definet potential......
Little young for my taste but theres definet potential......
You can't be tried as an adult :p
kensei
08-24-2005, 01:46 AM
OMG 13 year-olds masturbate?!
D-pad
08-24-2005, 01:50 AM
OMG 13 year-olds masturbate?!
Well if 13 year old boys do it of course girls do because secretly they are all as horny as dudes.
kensei
08-24-2005, 10:34 AM
It was sarcastic shock ^^'
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