Date Day Today.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Well today is date day for me. I have a date with a girl who goes to college and works at the local grocery store. It's been a while since I have been out on a date so I am nervous a bit.

I'm going back and forth with myself wondering if it will go well or not. I like this girl and have been talking and trying to get to know her for a while.

I just need to remember though to have fun because I asked her out she said yes and I don't need to work so hard to impress her anymore. Be myself and all that other crap.

Things I worry about on the date:
-She won't have fun
-Akward Silence

That's pretty much it. I'll give you all an update after everything goes down. If it goes good or bad.

Wish me luck!

[Idlethought]

If theres an awkward silence you could say somethin like

"Dont you think its nice how sometimes you can be with a person and not bullshit or anything, just have a nice comfortable silence? Just enjoying the moment instead of trying to fill the void with nonsense that neither of you care about anyway?"

=P just a thought

[mamba]

Hope it goes well man.

[stillbornsinger]

If theres an awkward silence you could say somethin like

"Dont you think its nice how sometimes you can be with a person and not bullshit or anything, just have a nice comfortable silence? Just enjoying the moment instead of trying to fill the void with nonsense that neither of you care about anyway?"

=P just a thought

That line works wonders =)

Good luck, go get em' buddy!

[Anders]

What's the battle plan for tonight? Are you going to take her out to dinner, or are you going to see a movie? Whatever you do, have a plan B. If something goes wrong with your first choice, always be ready to roll with it and move to your back-up plan.

[setrict]

Just remember to have fun yourself too, no one is going to enjoy the awkwardness of being with someone who is trying to hard. Fun is usually contagious.

Just be you,that's who you want her to like anyway isn't it?

Good luck.

[Neon Pink Shoehorn]

g'luck with the ladyfolks. I have no wisdom to offer :D

[paul]

Well, don't see a movie on a first date, whats the point of watching observing something else when you don't even know each other :P

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Yeah movies suck, but there are really no date oppourtunities other than that.

Not to mention our choices are Aeon Flux, Harry Potter, Yours Mine and Ours, Just Friends, Chicken Little, and Walk the Line.

[Praetorian]

But Harry Potter is great! Someone I know actually appears in the movie for 30 seconds. Quite on-screen too. Ron and Harry even appear to be checking her out.

/endthreadhijack

[Idlethought]

Like wizdom told me you dont have to go somewhere for it to be a date. You could just go for a walk or something. Try inexpensive dude

[Aria]

I just need to remember though to have fun because I asked her out she said yes and I don't need to work so hard to impress her anymore. Be myself and all that other crap.

Er, you probably shouldn't feel like you don't have to impress her at all though. Being a first date, I wouldn't stop trying quite just yet. I mean...yeah, she said that she'd go on a date with you, but it doesn't mean you have to stop caring about impressing her, y'know? Save that for like...the 4th or 5th date. Be yourself, but make sure you're polite! Good luck!

[nothing]

tip: never stop trying to impress a girlfriend. This doesn't mean go overboard, just that continued demonstrations of your regard are appreciated a great deal by the ladies, and you will most likely find the result is a happy, affectionate woman. Well worth the effort.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Well good news and bad new.

Good news is that it was a good thing I planned an indoor activity for my date.

Bad new IS ITS MISTY, COLD, WET, AND MISERABLE! JUST MY FREAKING LUCK!

Chance of rain tonight although everyone is running around going OMG SNOW IS COMING SNOW! When its really 41 degrees outside.

[co_delphi]

Typically going to a restraunt is the best way to get to know somebody. Just make sure it is of medium price at best and allows for a person to cater to their own tastes. I went to a mongolian grill for my first date with my current girlfriend and followed it up with talking for hours sitting in the middle of the local mall. Not exactly amazing, but it did give us enough of an idea about ourselves to continue dating.

Also make sure not to mention that you have been talking about her on here. Nothing flashes scarey stalker person like a statement like that.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

I don't even tell my dates I play video games. As far as you should know I haven't said anything about her or even given any physical features.

Truth be told one of us might consider cancelling because of the weather and I'm not going to bother again after that. This is the worst time to try to start anything.

[Admiral Luis]

good luck man ... do not fear screwing up, be confident

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Magical. Well I stopped freaking out.

She already seen the movie I suggested so I'm gonna suggest the movie "Yours Mine and Ours"

Walk the Line is way too long although it sounds like it could be good.

Oh well she still wanted to go so she still wants to be with me. Coolness. She did ask me if I was a good driver. The mist and crap like that.

Anyway this is the last update until after it.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Date is over and I had some fun and she said she had some fun and I am going to leave it at that. If nothing goes from there then at least I had a hell of a lot of fun with her more than any other date.

Date Part 1:
Part 1 of the date SUCKED SO MUCH! It consisted of me:
Talk.
Talk.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Talk.
Talk.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Talk.
Talk.

All the way up there. She sounded as if she was trying to force a conversation and I definatly was trying to break this crappy silence. She gave me a list of the movies and from the sound of it she really wanted to see Aeon Flux and we ended up voiding the idea of the movie "Just Friends". Which is probably going to be our relationship.

She paid for her ticket no matter how much I protested. She said it was all right even though I wanted to do it. So ironically I managed to save a bundle tonight.

Aeon Flux sucked so much. Actually at the time it really rocked and I loved it because compared to the sucktastic time I was having this movie owned.

I was in shot: Pissed off. Why? I asked he who she went with to go see the movie "Just Friends". She told me a guy. I was like "crap" in my head. Then she tells me that "we are sorta dating I guess". My cheeks got red and I was ready to blow my top off and leave her there.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE SORTA DATING SOMEONE ELSE!? I asked you out on a date and you have someone else on the side! I heard about weighing your options, but Jesus Christ lie to me! Cancel the date if you have to. That way my hopes wont be so crushed!" I should of said this, but just recovered myself and asked her how the movie was. Then it was dead silence and we had 10 minutes before the movie started. After 3 minutes of akward silence I excused myself and got up to take a leak.There I was holding my wang in a movie bathroom so pissed off and feeling shot down that I figured I'll never date again. I sucked up my manhood and no matter what I was going to just go with it.

So we sat down and the movie started and we did not talk through the whole thing. I welcomed this movie and thought it rocked. Actually it sucked, but anything was better than the sucky silence and me being angry.

With a terrible start like this how could I recover?

Date Night Part 2

Right before the movie ended I recovered myself in a feeling of lowness. I felt bad, but I let myself up and started being myself. The akward silence no longer was akward, but comphy silence. I no longer cared about how I acted or what happened I wanted to have fun and if I go into a hell hole I was dragging her down with me.

So we drive back to her house and hop in her car and I start getting her to drive around and show her my house and some neat Christmas light ect ect. I was actually laughing and having fun with her despite what happened.

She then did something weird. We came up to some porta pottys and she never seen the inside of one. I said "You can look if you want to, but your not going to like it." She looked in and it was actually clean, but smelly. I joked around and said "lets knock it down." She said "Okay". We couldn't tip it over so we left and went to this other area where there was some and knocked that once over causing a mess of nasty. We laughed and ran away.

Then we went to the local park at night and I stole a caution sign for her. We got back into her car and skiddled our way out of there as well. Then for some reason I started lying about some scary ghost stuff around the park and trying to freak her out. The plan was to get her out of the car and we check it out, but she wouldn't budge. It looked like she was having fun and she asked me if I could think of anything we could do. I couldn't think of anything so we went out to the gulf which I told this other retarded ghost story.

The last part consisted of us getting really tired and checking out one more area where a gulf was. It was locked and she was again too scared to get out of her car. I got out for a second, but actually got freaked out when I saw something move in the distance glowing so I just bolted.

She ended up getting tired and we headed back to her house. My mood was lifted to a new high, not too high, but high enough where I was having fun. We came back to her house.

She went inside to get a marker and said "I'd invite you in but its a mess in here." She got the marker and got me to sign the stolen sign "To ----- from Rob-"

I gave her the sign and she said

"Well I had fun."
"Yeah, me too we should do this again sometime." I said.
"Okay...Do you have your keys or did you leave them in your car."
Searching my pocket "No I have them."
"Well good night then and see you Monday.(We go to the same college)"
"See you then good night."

That's it. Nothing dramatic. No kiss. No lip lock. Partially I felt too insacure to do it after part 1 of the date. I wanted to do it, but I had no idea what the reaction would of been. I got into my car and headed home. I have no idea if she wanted to kiss me and it will be one of those things I'll never know.

It was a fun date, but it partially sucked as well. I learned a few new things and at least made a new friend. I had fun at the end and it wasn't a total disaster.

Will I ever date this girl again? Probably not. Assuming she is "kinda going out with another guy" I'm not going to push my luck nor give a crap anymore. You are a good friend kid, but I am not going to fight over you with some other guy. I like this girl and she wants to get to know me better, but I am a little confused at the moment. I made all the efforts myself and she literally made almost none back. I'm going to stand at the spot to say she probably isn't interested enough in me and I'm going to take it. So I am probably not going to ask her out again.

The main part: I had fun with this date not matter what. She let me have fun which was something I haven't enjoyed in a long time. I am so glad for that. The only thing that upsets me is part 1 of the date and did she REALLY have fun? Did I make her happy?

The answers will go as time goes on I guess.

[paul]

Well I'm guessing even though you had fun, you do not find her uber appealing? I mean if you did, you'd take it as a challenge :P

[Bob]

Date is over and I had some fun and she said she had some fun and I am going to leave it at that. If nothing goes from there then at least I had a hell of a lot of fun with her more than any other date.

Date Part 1:
Part 1 of the date SUCKED SO MUCH! It consisted of me:
Talk.
Talk.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Talk.
Talk.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Akward Silence.
Talk.
Talk.

All the way up there. She sounded as if she was trying to force a conversation and I definatly was trying to break this crappy silence. She gave me a list of the movies and from the sound of it she really wanted to see Aeon Flux and we ended up voiding the idea of the movie "Just Friends". Which is probably going to be our relationship.

She paid for her ticket no matter how much I protested. She said it was all right even though I wanted to do it. So ironically I managed to save a bundle tonight.

Aeon Flux sucked so much. Actually at the time it really rocked and I loved it because compared to the sucktastic time I was having this movie owned.

I was in shot: Pissed off. Why? I asked he who she went with to go see the movie "Just Friends". She told me a guy. I was like "crap" in my head. Then she tells me that "we are sorta dating I guess". My cheeks got red and I was ready to blow my top off and leave her there.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE SORTA DATING SOMEONE ELSE!? I asked you out on a date and you have someone else on the side! I heard about weighing your options, but Jesus Christ lie to me! Cancel the date if you have to. That way my hopes wont be so crushed!" I should of said this, but just recovered myself and asked her how the movie was. Then it was dead silence and we had 10 minutes before the movie started. After 3 minutes of akward silence I excused myself and got up to take a leak.There I was holding my wang in a movie bathroom so pissed off and feeling shot down that I figured I'll never date again. I sucked up my manhood and no matter what I was going to just go with it.

So we sat down and the movie started and we did not talk through the whole thing. I welcomed this movie and thought it rocked. Actually it sucked, but anything was better than the sucky silence and me being angry.

With a terrible start like this how could I recover?

Date Night Part 2

Right before the movie ended I recovered myself in a feeling of lowness. I felt bad, but I let myself up and started being myself. The akward silence no longer was akward, but comphy silence. I no longer cared about how I acted or what happened I wanted to have fun and if I go into a hell hole I was dragging her down with me.

So we drive back to her house and hop in her car and I start getting her to drive around and show her my house and some neat Christmas light ect ect. I was actually laughing and having fun with her despite what happened.

She then did something weird. We came up to some porta pottys and she never seen the inside of one. I said "You can look if you want to, but your not going to like it." She looked in and it was actually clean, but smelly. I joked around and said "lets knock it down." She said "Okay". We couldn't tip it over so we left and went to this other area where there was some and knocked that once over causing a mess of nasty. We laughed and ran away.

Then we went to the local park at night and I stole a caution sign for her. We got back into her car and skiddled our way out of there as well. Then for some reason I started lying about some scary ghost stuff around the park and trying to freak her out. The plan was to get her out of the car and we check it out, but she wouldn't budge. It looked like she was having fun and she asked me if I could think of anything we could do. I couldn't think of anything so we went out to the gulf which I told this other retarded ghost story.

The last part consisted of us getting really tired and checking out one more area where a gulf was. It was locked and she was again too scared to get out of her car. I got out for a second, but actually got freaked out when I saw something move in the distance glowing so I just bolted.

She ended up getting tired and we headed back to her house. My mood was lifted to a new high, not too high, but high enough where I was having fun. We came back to her house.

She went inside to get a marker and said "I'd invite you in but its a mess in here." She got the marker and got me to sign the stolen sign "To ----- from Rob-"

I gave her the sign and she said

"Well I had fun."
"Yeah, me too we should do this again sometime." I said.
"Okay...Do you have your keys or did you leave them in your car."
Searching my pocket "No I have them."
"Well good night then and see you Monday.(We go to the same college)"
"See you then good night."

That's it. Nothing dramatic. No kiss. No lip lock. Partially I felt too insacure to do it after part 1 of the date. I wanted to do it, but I had no idea what the reaction would of been. I got into my car and headed home. I have no idea if she wanted to kiss me and it will be one of those things I'll never know.

It was a fun date, but it partially sucked as well. I learned a few new things and at least made a new friend. I had fun at the end and it wasn't a total disaster.

Will I ever date this girl again? Probably not. Assuming she is "kinda going out with another guy" I'm not going to push my luck nor give a crap anymore. You are a good friend kid, but I am not going to fight over you with some other guy. I like this girl and she wants to get to know me better, but I am a little confused at the moment. I made all the efforts myself and she literally made almost none back. I'm going to stand at the spot to say she probably isn't interested enough in me and I'm going to take it. So I am probably not going to ask her out again.

The main part: I had fun with this date not matter what. She let me have fun which was something I haven't enjoyed in a long time. I am so glad for that. The only thing that upsets me is part 1 of the date and did she REALLY have fun? Did I make her happy?

The answers will go as time goes on I guess.

You were right about the just friends part

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Oh well if she just wants to be friends then no. I have way to many girls that are friends in the first place they outwiegh my guys friends and adding one more to the roster is not going to make me feel happy in any way.

Fine. I'm your friend I don't care.

The FZ sucked, but I am also not going to waste my time when she wont budge, call, or bother to see what is up. I hate working hard at it and if I don't get too much of a hint then it really isn't worth my time.

Time to go fishing again.

[stillbornsinger]

No offence but I think your attitude going into this is way wrong, if I were a chick I probably wouldn't be interested either.

network network network... you can never have enough female friends. Eventually one of them will introduce you to a friend of theirs that you will completely click with.

Bob- Was it really necissary to quote the entire post to say 8 words?

[Bob]

No offence but I think your attitude going into this is way wrong, if I were a chick I probably wouldn't be interested either.

network network network... you can never have enough female friends. Eventually one of them will introduce you to a friend of theirs that you will completely click with.

Bob- Was it really necissary to quote the entire post to say 8 words?

Yes .

[BlueNile]

nothing says first date like vandalism and theft...

[Collapse]

Dates don't usually end with kisses or romantic hugs. Come on.

[NERD]

Just don't be seen as 'needy'.

[stillbornsinger]

nothing says first date like vandalism and theft...

Oh yeah, thats another thing... You're a jackass... Did you ever consider how much work your making for the port-a-john guy? Some schmuck who is already getting paid minimum wage to take care of peoples shit for a living. He hates his job already AND he has to clean up the mess you made.

Nice going jackass... I hope one day you are that port-a-john guy...

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Sorry for the port-o-john guy. It sure was a lot of fun though and if I learned anything is that first dates are awesome with theft and vandalism.

Okay maybe not, but this was a start.

I keep my attitudes and thoughts to myself really. Besides its really hard to jump into the dating pool when I've been slammed so many times. I'm trying my best to figure this out.

No two female are alike although they do act on the same wavelength. She is a strange one and confusing at times.

And yes I do know that most first dates don't have to end with a kiss or a hug although I really hope she wasn't expecting it.

I'm "female indirectness" retarded.

[dzee]

i do actually think she was just using the 'date' as a way to kill spare time on her schedule, if she actually mentioned the 'sort-of dating' with the other guy.

you shouldn't waste your time with her if you aren't going to try pulling her over ;)

[co_delphi]

Oh yeah, thats another thing... You're a jackass... Did you ever consider how much work your making for the port-a-john guy? Some schmuck who is already getting paid minimum wage to take care of peoples shit for a living. He hates his job already AND he has to clean up the mess you made.

Nice going jackass... I hope one day you are that port-a-john guy...

Actually not to rain on your tirade, but the port-a-john guys get paid quite a bit. I remember seeing a ad offering a job with them paying $14/hr with full benefits package. So yeah it is a shit job, but at least they compensate you for it.

[c-rex]

Since when was $14 an hour good pay?

14 dollars / hour * 40 hours a week * 52 weeks a year = 29,120 dollars per year (before taxes).

[stillbornsinger]

ummm... 14$ an hour isn't good... and I'd still be pissed off if I had to scrub someones shit off the roof of a portable bathroom...

Then again, I've worked for under 2.30$ an hour doing crappier jobs...

[Durandle]

On your date... you pushed a loo over. Wow, at least you can say your date was *unique* (and I do agree thats a pretty crap thing to do, messing peoples stuff up because its "fun" just aint right). Maybe someone will decide it would be fun to smear dog cr*p all over your front door, can't really blame em, they're only having some fun!

[Psychochink]

1. 'I have a date now so there's no need to impress her' attitude. Which universe are you living in? I think I've heard it said best like this - "Think of a first date as a job interview for sex."

2. Movies are not a good idea for a first date. Think cafe. You can sit and have a drink (coffee or whatever), get some food if you feel like it, it is a venue designed for conversation (as opposed to the opposite) and it's easy to leave from there to go somewhere else that is appropriate depending on the mood (for a walk, to a pub/club, etc).

3. Don't ask what she wants to do, have a game plan and she can then tell you if she'd rather do something else. Indecisive is not attractive.

4. If she wants to pay for herself, don't protest too much, it makes you sound over-eager.

5. "We are sorta dating, I guess" is not necessarily a blow-off, it's a heads-up. So some other guy took her out on a date, so what? Guess what, you were 'dating' her as well. You ask some girl out for the first time and you expect suddenly to be in an exclusive relationship just because she decided to give you a chance? That not how this things work, Daniel-san.

"I have a boyfriend" is a blow-off.

6. Notwithstanding the above, it sounds like you've planted yourself firmly in the friend zone as a result of your date. No, it was not predetermined, but you started out by trying too hard, and finished up by trying too little.

"I'd invite you in but it's a mess in here" is a blow-off. If a woman's into you that kind of thing isn't going to stop anything. At best she'd have done a quick clean-up while she was inside. Exception: If she's absolutely crazy about you and can't bear for you to see even the slightest imperfection, which is clearly not the case in this instance.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Anyway. Planted myself in the friend zone? Perhaps. I'd invite you in thing I didn't think much of or even care. Even my female friends do that to me so I really didn't think much of it.

Well thanks for putting things into perspective for me anyway as if it was my fault. Way to make me feel good about myself there.

Oh and I was trying to impress the girl as much as possible I only said that stupid line to make myself feel better.

If I did plant myself in the Friend Zone I plan to recooperate. I want to go "Hey I want to see if you want to go out again. I feel like the last time wasn't as fun as I wanted it to be for you and I want to make up for it and make it better."

[Psychochink]

Anyway. Planted myself in the friend zone? Perhaps. I'd invite you in thing I didn't think much of or even care. Even my female friends do that to me so I really didn't think much of it.

Well thanks for putting things into perspective for me anyway as if it was my fault. Way to make me feel good about myself there.

Oh and I was trying to impress the girl as much as possible I only said that stupid line to make myself feel better.

If I did plant myself in the Friend Zone I plan to recooperate. I want to go "Hey I want to see if you want to go out again. I feel like the last time wasn't as fun as I wanted it to be for you and I want to make up for it and make it better."

Well, the invitation inside isn't a completely solid rule, and is malleable based on the way that it's said. You're in a position to judge that for yourself, and I have to admit a bias on this point based on the relative behaviour of the people I choose to associate with (tending towards the more casual and socially accommodating. With 'stiffer' people, your results may vary). You heard the way she said it and had the body language to boot, you tell us if you still have a shot.

My last point aside, I was simply providing some advice for your future reference that will serve you in good stead when it comes to the never ending games with the opposite sex. If you want to feel bad about it, that's your perogative and has very little to do with me. It's not my job (nor my inclination) to blow smoke up your ass. Would you have preferred I just posted something inane, useless, yet encouraging like "That's OK dude, you just need to show her that you really like her and she'll come around!" that's like giving you a plane half full of fuel, pointing you out to sea and telling you to imagine a great big target on the side of that big boat? (Or we can go with strapping a backpack on and telling you about the virgins if you want to update the analogy)

I was giving you useful advice, take it or leave it, but I wasn't ripping you down. You'll know it if I do that, I won't be subtle about it.

In that vein, if you are planning on making a comeback, then I'd suggest not putting yourself on the back foot with the approach that you've espoused by "making it up to her". Women don't want to date a puppy who just wants to please them, that's what pets and friend zoners are for. They want to date a man. It's not all about her and you don't want to give her the impression that's how you think of it. She needs to impress you just as much as the opposite - otherwise, why are you worth her time?

Wait a while and see if she approaches you. If not, make contact and just simply ask if she wants to catch up for a coffee. Don't 'ask her out' that's so...I don't know...high schoolish? Make the whole thing less formal - for a start, coffee gives both of you (or I guess just her, in this case) an out if things don't click. You simply don't take the coffee any further. How old are you/her, anyway?

[stillbornsinger]

Might I suggest some kind of physical activity, that gives you the oportunity to let loose a little and ease up tentions. Depending on the activity it can give you opportunities for some physical contact. Figure out how receptive she is to that and take it from there. If your enjoying yourself you can go someplace get showered up and then go out to dinner or refreshments. If things arn't then you can call it off after that.

Psychochink is spot on with everything he says, obviously a master of dating...

[stoningcrows]

What was the deal about the car keys??? That was a bit weird. Any ideas what she was suggesting? Or am I looking too much into it.

I think psychochink got it spot-on with his post.

Lastly, I think a movie is fine as a first date, altho its not recommend but where you screwed up was the blah blah silence silence blah blah section. Never speak for the sake of speaking, don't ever talk if its just going to be garbage coming out of your mouth. Have some balls and just tell her that this date is over ("wow I'm really sleepy or tired" excuse).

well I guess if you ever feel like vandalism, you know she's up to it. Better luck next time.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

I'm 18 and she's 19.

And we both don't like coffee. In fact there is no coffee shop!

Although I get what you mean and I can see what you are talking about in most part. Maybe it was in most part trying to convince myself that I didn't do anything wrong of course that wouldn't be the case here.

You were going into detail about things I should do and where I should take her. You should understand that I live smack dab in an area where the population probably has more animals then people. There is literally nothing to do, but to go see a movie, get something to eat, or go bowling.

In fact it takes 30 miles (I'm not kidding) to GET to the closest movie theatre. You keep suggesting "keep it casual" well how casual can you get when you live practically in the middle of the middle of nowhere. It's frustrating because you BOTH have no idea what to do and you have to improvise along the way regaurdless.

So if you honestly think the movie was a bad idea then I guess it was a bad idea, but what else was I sapposed to do? Wanna get something to eat with me and then we can go watch a cow?

Also I never even mentioned about going into her house or anything like that. She wanted me to sign my name on the sign I stole for her and went inside to get a marker. She told me that she'll go in and get it and "house is a mess blah blah". I really didn't want to go into her house the first place to begin with which is why I didn't see it as a blow off.

The whole "I'm tried excuse" was either the best lie the convinced me or she was telling the truth. She had to work that day before our date and then she had to work the next day in the morning after the date and it was getting to be 10 thirthyish in the first place. I was tired and she was tired and I wanted to go home in the first place.

Besides if it does seem a little highschoolish that because we both just came out of it and are trying to maturea little more. So there you go.

I think the date also has to do a lot with the area as well. You have to make the fun wherever it was possible and that would have to go to her because she actually had the idea of driving around. I actually expected the date to be over a lot over.

So what can I say? Nothing really met my expectations and all of it is extreamly confusing to deal with.

Try to understand where I am coming from first.

[more cheerios]

Man, you knocked a port-a-potty over? That's nasty. Who the hell knocks toilets over and spills shit all over the place for fun?

[Kella]

Coprophiliacs? >_< lol

[more cheerios]

Coprophiliacs? >_< lol
Annie, get your gun!

[setrict]

Wanna get something to eat with me and then we can go watch a cow?

Hahahaha... wait, I live in Missouri too. Damnit. I can completely sympathize.

[co_delphi]

ummm... 14$ an hour isn't good... and I'd still be pissed off if I had to scrub someones shit off the roof of a portable bathroom...

Then again, I've worked for under 2.30$ an hour doing crappier jobs...

To put this in perspective. For a job that does not require a college degree or any special training $14/hr is pretty damn good. Typically with no special training you are lucky to get a minimum wage job at $7.50/hr.

[co_delphi]

To make sure I have a proper understanding of the scope we are dealing with lets go through some basic statistics.

How large is this town you are in?

If you were to categorize the available women in your town (keep within about 2 years of your age) How many would we be dealing with?

For fun, what do you typically do with your friends?

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

The town has barely over 1,000 people. For fun my friends got stoned and/or drunk and I USED to join in, but stopped so I watched them act stupid. My best friend and I would usually hang out at each others houses and play video games.

If I was with girls who were friends we might go to a larger area and either go watch a movie or I got dragged around while they shopped.

Seriously, if you were just driving by then you could sneeze and miss the town if you aren't careful.

And the amount of available women differs. Keeping in the whole 2 year range as such then...oh I dunno roughly less than 100 depending if I am counting the town right next to this one.

In fact if you count both towns it has about 3,000 people rounded anyway. Activities include fishing and hunting. I don't like getting up that early and its too freaking cold to go fishing. If you are lucky maybe someone throws a party and everyone can get drunk and have sex with random people.

Even the 30 mile drive to the closest big area has a limited amount to do. You either eat at a Mexican/Chinese/or Ryan's Resutraunt. All except the Mexcian resuraunt is set up as buffets. There is bowling which looks interesting, but it depends on the person. The coffee house closes strickly at 5 pm. The movie theatre is probably one of the biggest cash crops in the area other then that huge Wal-Mart Supercenter. They have two clubs you can get into one is called Fillies which is mainly composed of old crunk men. The other just opened and is called the Firehouse and it is freaking huge. People 18-20 can get in, but can't drink so they make sure to get drunk BEFORE they go over there.

Jobs are heavily limitless as especially with the huge Katrina migration that came in and winter came up. Even then the only jobs to get are fast food areas and grocery stores. You might be lucky and work at a privetly owned store. If you are lucky.

Everything is basically dead after 10 pm even on the weekends. The only places that are open are the movies and the Firehouse. Some punks might hang out at the skatepark, but since it is too cold they stay away from that area for a while. That is pretty much all there is to do. Somehow people manage to stay off bordom just by walking around and wasting time doing almost nothing at all.

Even after all that and the limited amount of things to do I still think that I might have screwed a few things up. However, I can learn from this experiance and not let it burn me a next time. I was a little angry BECAUSE I screwed up, but as it goes I am over it and I guess I am okay with gaining a new friend if that is the case regaurdless.

The last date I had was in March, but the girl crashed me so hard that I got scared of dating and literally started to freak out if a girl started to notice me anymore. I had this fear that I would crash just as hard the next time. Now I have had some good dates, good night kissed, and all the other stuff that related to dating while I was in high school. I had relationships that lasted a little while, but really weren't anything special to brag about.

I did however have a little self assesment about myself and decided that I need to loosen up and figure things out. I don't need to let one bad experiance ruin all the rest of them.

Trust me...that date in March was so so so so so very bad and it literally made me scared of what evil capable things females were capable of to hurt a guy.

I decided that I do not need to care about those things anymore and think more clearly next time (if there is a next time). My nervousness could contribute to the fact that it made the date bad and even though I loosened up afterwards it probably wasn't enough to save whatever mess I had already made.

I don't need pity. I know I screwed up. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger I guess.

[co_delphi]

And the amount of available women differs. Keeping in the whole 2 year range as such then...oh I dunno roughly less than 100 depending if I am counting the town right next to this one.



Are you saying 100 woemn that are available or 100 women of your approximate age? Because if this is the latter it is fairly safe to say that over half are in some form of relationship. So your pick is pretty small, then take into account that many of them are likely to have dated friends of yours making them inaccessable to you..... yeah I don't envy you.

Hopefully this works out for you, and do remember, mistakes happen..... it is only a problem if you can't recover from them.

[paul]

On your date... you pushed a loo over. Wow, at least you can say your date was *unique* (and I do agree thats a pretty crap thing to do, messing peoples stuff up because its "fun" just aint right). Maybe someone will decide it would be fun to smear dog cr*p all over your front door, can't really blame em, they're only having some fun!

How old are you? seriously, I consider it fun :P

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

I'm frustrated.

All this time I thought I was screwing up and messing up and all...and I get another date.

Not only that but I was so frustrated with the last girl that I asked another one out on a date...

THIS STUFF ISN'T SAPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

[Snake eyeS]

Hehe, pushing over the shithouse sounds like fun :)

anyhow, only kind of read the first because that made me laugh the most(the comments) and heres my 2 cents. the girl that said she was sort of dating is seeing which one of you makes it to the next round. if she doesnt like you she can pull the "im alrdy sort of dating card" if she likes you she can use the "i wasnt really dating him"card..

the girl was just covering her ass with premade excuses. just get a hang of her, ask if she would want to hang out, maybe push over some shitboxes(hehehe) if she declines you have more then enough reason to be sobbing and stuff, but if she agrees to the shitbox massacre your in.

cant prove read this post because i have to go right now.

[more cheerios]

I'm frustrated.

All this time I thought I was screwing up and messing up and all...and I get another date.

Not only that but I was so frustrated with the last girl that I asked another one out on a date...

THIS STUFF ISN'T SAPPOSED TO HAPPEN!
You are a very confusing person.

[co_delphi]

I'm frustrated.

All this time I thought I was screwing up and messing up and all...and I get another date.

Not only that but I was so frustrated with the last girl that I asked another one out on a date...

THIS STUFF ISN'T SAPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

This is a very confusing statement. Does this mean that you have another chance with shithouse girl, and because of the hell you were putting yourself through with shithouse girl you pulled a pre-emptive rebound and asked another girl out as well?

[Psychochink]

OK, so your options are linited, but you get my point: Confidence is attractive, the more formal you make something, the more pressure on both of you, and you need to get rid of any expectations or preconceptions you have and not make a date such a big deal (in your own mind)(easier said than done, I know). Apply as necessary to your specific situation.

As I said, you're the only one who can pick up on the cues and tell us if you really screwed up or not. However, let's look at your first date. By your own account, the first part of the date sucked monkey testicles. Then what did you do? You relaxed, got rid of the 'date stress' and decided that you weren't going to care so much about impressing her (hell, you even made her do the driving).

End result - comeback, with a little bit of the 'bad boy' vibe going for you (but don't overdo that, by the way, because then you can slip over into 'asshole' territory - you know, "He can be such an asshole sometimes, but I like him despite it.")

While the portapotty thing isn't my personal cup of tea, let's consider that it gave him a healthy dose of the "I don't care what you think, I'm going to do this because I feel like it." vibe here guys (i.e. confidence).

My advice now, do your damndest to fix this attitude in your head before your next date: "She wants me, time for me to see if I'm interested in her." That doesn't mean be an arrogant fuckwad on your date, but trust me, if you can fix that attitude in your own head, it'll send out all sorts of subtle signals that will have her gagging for it.

Confidence, young padawan, confidence.

[Psychochink]

This is a very confusing statement. Does this mean that you have another chance with shithouse girl, and because of the hell you were putting yourself through with shithouse girl you pulled a pre-emptive rebound and asked another girl out as well?

That's how I read it. Here's my advice, date both of them. No, not long-term, but it's not like there's any kind of serious relationship here. Don't bring it up, but don't try to hide it either. Once either one is in a position where you want to date them more seriously, just stop dating the other one. It's not a big deal, it's not like there's any commitment there (in the world of adult dating).

Oh, and stop being so melodramatic. Not only is it bad for your own mindset, but if you keep it up too long people will start to get sick of it and useful advice will be replaced by tearing to shreds.

[Sock Full of Boiled Dimes]

Yeah. Anyway I'm not being melodramatic in fact its really not bad in the first place.

I'm just getting used to the whole "dating scene".

Thanks for the advice and all that.

[co_delphi]

Confidence, young padawan, confidence.

To back up this statement I offer the following examples of how this works. I have done the following to impress women and in all cases have succeeded.

1. Approaching random people and starting conversations with them.

2. Applying knowledge toward home improvement with obvious knowledge.

3. Cooking something from scratch for consumption.

They are not all a sign of big balls or anything, but they qualify as confidence none the less.

[jingi893]

I've been reading with a bit of amusement. Thinking back to when I was that young. The best advice about the "dating scene" that I ever got was from a 16 year old nephew of a friend. A stripper friend of his invited me to one of her parties, made sure that he would call me to make sure I was there. He cockblocked me. But, he told me once that dating is a numbers game. If you ask 100 girls out on a date and 1 say yes, consider yourself successful. As to your situation, Psycholink is right on spot. You should date the both of them, hell you should date 4 or 5 of them. If you are 18 then you shouldn't be getting serious about anyone. My motto when I was 18 was "The only bad piece is the piece that you don't get". Dude, do it while your young.