English is really crazy [Archive]

Ardo Zubairu

11-30-2005, 03:11 PM

My problem with English language; there is no egg in eggplant? Neither apple nor pine in pineapple,
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat
And why is that writers write, fingers don’t fings?
Grocers don’t groce? And hammers don’t ham? If plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth, one goose, and two geese? So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this post, I end it.
Sorry my Tribal language is Fulani (the largest Nomadic Tribe in the world) and we conjugate verb in our communication :)

Praetorian

11-30-2005, 03:15 PM

You didn't write this yourself, did you? I've seen it before. Very funny, nonetheless.

more cheerios

11-30-2005, 03:17 PM

English is a mixmatch of a bunch of different crap. We make rules, break them and don't care.

It's gotta suck for people learning English as a second or third language. Especially if they're already like... 19+ when they start. :|

dzee

11-30-2005, 03:19 PM

you've just made me laugh :D
i don't think i could have thought up of that many. always interesting to see what beginners think of any language, really!

this could almost be a thread where people come up with similar garblish, haha

Zonehunter1

11-30-2005, 03:27 PM

Let's hope not. The internets has enough stuff like this already.

Intense

11-30-2005, 03:41 PM

english is a horrible language. its like the concept of logic never occured to the people using the language. I'm damn gratefull I was brought up in an english speaking nation because trying to learn it any other way would be a major mindf*ck.

For all those non english speakers, huge respect to you for mastering such a difficult language.

Ardo Zubairu

11-30-2005, 04:00 PM

You didn't write this yourself, did you? I've seen it before. Very funny, nonetheless.
Dictionary was written by someone not you but i hope you have seen it somewhere! :)

Jay

11-30-2005, 04:27 PM

It's gotta suck for people learning English as a second or third language. Especially if they're already like... 19+ when they start. :|

Actually, I know a few people who took English as a second or third language and they say it was deadset easy to learn and become fluent in.

I wish I had a foreigner's point of view, it'd be cool as to see if English is a hard language to learn or not.

Praetorian

11-30-2005, 04:29 PM

Foreigner here.

English is smegging easy, mostly. At least for people whose first language already was an Indo-European Germanic language.

Lea

11-30-2005, 04:41 PM

The hardest part about English would probably be writing it. Speaking it is easy enough but the spelling and such is stupid. Nothing is spelled the way it sounds. That's why I find Spanish to be a pretty awesome language since it makes more sense.

Overkongen

11-30-2005, 04:52 PM

I agree, english is dead easy. Sure, there are exceptions to the general rules, but pretty much all languages have that. The grammar is nowhere as hard as it is with, say, "Scheissensprache" German. Also, it just sounds prettier then (once again)german. On a side note, I'm not sure about this, but I think the language with the fewest irregular verbs is turkish? I think the only irregular verb is their version of "to be"

Lea

11-30-2005, 05:19 PM

Googled this topic and found something interesting: http://www.antimoon.com/forum/2004/4106.htm

Monkey

11-30-2005, 05:23 PM

CrazyAce86

11-30-2005, 05:33 PM

I wrote a paper on the chaos that is the English language once. Got an A-, I think.

Specifically, it was about American English. I said it was probably the ultimate living language because it evolves every day, somewhere, somehow.

I think English would be hard to learn since it's word order differs and where we place certain words is different than most languages. For example, a good bit of languages puts the adjective after the noun-- the book blue-- instead of before, like in English-- the blue book.

Guess it really just depends on your aptitude for languages and dedication to it.

Der Moe

11-30-2005, 05:51 PM

English is my second language, and I totally agree with "Louis Alexander" in Lea's link. At first, english seems very easy and progress goes very fast, but then you have to bother with all these exceptions of general rules (and sometimes even with exceptions of exceptions XD). So I think it's quite hard to improve your language skills from a certain point on. Reading english is quite simple though, as everything makes sense in the context. If I dont know a word, the surrounding one's will explain it in most cases.
At least, thats my opinion...
Concerning the German though: If I werent German, i probably wouldnt want to learn it. Although I think you can express yourself more clearly. There has to be a reason that so many german words are used in english, like "wanderlust" etc. I have to admit there is a trend in German to use english words for great parts of everydays speech, but probably more because its "cooler" than because we dont have an appropriate translation for it.
writing in english is hard, though. At least for me XD

Idlethought

11-30-2005, 06:05 PM

the best thing about English is you can make up words that dont exist but are based on existing words and people will understand what you mean the majority of the time.

more cheerios

11-30-2005, 06:12 PM

Actually, I know a few people who took English as a second or third language and they say it was deadset easy to learn and become fluent in.

I wish I had a foreigner's point of view, it'd be cool as to see if English is a hard language to learn or not.
Wierd. I have a friend from Cambodia and he said he absolutely despised learning English. Not so much the speaking part, but the writing part.

jingi893

11-30-2005, 06:23 PM

read bill bryson's "the mother tongue"...as for english being eas to learn...i kinda disagree with that...while i'm a native speaker...most of my students aren't...and they all have said at one point or another that it was hard/confusing...english is about 60% rules based....40% we make the shit up as we go along...and of course there's the old joke that "there is an exception to every rule and every rule is the exception"...english is also difficult because as another poster posted...it is a mish-mash of german and the romantic languages...i'm just glad i grew up speaking it...that way i didn't have to struggle through it in school...although...i would say that chinese is probably the hardest to learn to write...

Shamu

11-30-2005, 06:44 PM

Having learned a few different languages I'd have to say, if I was a foreigner learning English, it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense.
I have fun though teaching the guys at work English. They get frustrated alot because Spanish makes so much more sense and they don't understand what goes where and when to use what.
Personally, I love Spanglish...it's like wtf? Let's make up a language that makes no sense! :p Fortunately, I'm starting to become fluent in it :D

dzee

11-30-2005, 06:48 PM

i would say that chinese is probably the hardest to learn to write...

especially the older version, yes :o
does any country still use it? hk/taiwan?

Aria

11-30-2005, 08:09 PM

What I've always liked about english is that although there are exceptions to the general rules, if someone pronounces it wrong, or tries to treat it like a regular verb, it is still generally completely understandable.

Sure, it sometimes sounds odd, but no-one is going to ask "what the hell are they on about?".

I agree. You can just throw a bunch of words in a "sentence" and most of the time the person you're talking to will be able to figure it out.

NERD

11-30-2005, 09:02 PM

I started to pick up English around middle school, bout age of 13-14. English is my second language, I make mistakes from time to time, and I'm having second thoughts on majoring in English, just because people expect English majors to be, you know, good at English.

Suffice to say, I don't know shit about grammar, if I were to teach on the subject matter.

history1me

11-30-2005, 11:52 PM

English is hard to learn, but once you get it, it a cake walk.

Fallen Angel

12-01-2005, 12:33 AM

My first language is french... and I think that english is really easier to learn.

akitaka

12-01-2005, 01:23 AM

There's not much to expect, from a super-bastard offspring of Latin.

To some English seems easy, but in honesty, 100% perfect punctuation, grammar, and sometimes spelling is very difficult. In everyday life, we don't speak in a structured manner nor do we pause in mid-sentence, even when a written version of our speech has a comma. Even right now I have to freaken proof-read so that it looks "correct" when I submit it; a total pain in the ass.

And not to chew you out, jingi, but you're writing format is making my mind stutter.

Soli

12-01-2005, 01:26 AM

...My first (and only) language is English and I can't spell anything. Every post I make I have to run through spell checker to see if I got everything right. I have spelling disabilities. :D English spelling is too hard for me.

Frankey-eh

12-01-2005, 01:39 AM

English was my third language. It was a total nightmare.

On my first year,I was sent to an ESL school. I didn't understand a single thing so I read manga in class instead. On spelling tests, I had no clue what the words meant, and I was so frustrated that I cheated. In the end, I still got C's and D's. Yes, that was my worst year and I never got as low after that.

The thing with English was, I could figure out how to read a word, but would have absolutely no idea what it meant. This was different from Chinese and Japanese, where I would HAVE to know what the word meant in order to pronounce it. And so, because I could pronounce it, I thought I knew what the words meant, and I was too lazy to look them up on the dictionary. I remember, I could read Curious George with little trouble, but I would have no clue what happened in the story. I hated the dictionary with passion. It's like, if I look up "monkey", I would have trouble with the definition, and then I'll have to go look up "primate" or something... and the problem compounded. It drove me nuts.

But, things improved after I left the ESL class. I was out of the sheltered world with Japanese friends, and I was forced to speak English. In fourth grade, I was getting C's. By Fifth grade, I was getting A's.

Yet, my English really improved only after middle school, when I began creative writing in my spare time.

ellie

12-01-2005, 02:30 AM

I started to pick up English around middle school, bout age of 13-14.

What's your 1st language, NERD?

I think English must be difficult to learn. Especially with so many different variations and accents! My dad has a really strong NYC accent, which is really different than the southern accents around here, which is different than Loc's England accent or Jay's Australian accent. . .Even people speaking the exact same language sometimes have problems understanding each other! Geez!

Komachi Angel

12-01-2005, 02:34 AM

The thing about language is that for some reason, people seem to think it was something a bunch of people sat down and created. In this case, it would make all the sense in the world for plurals and such to work on standard rule-sets, but it doesn't.

Language is something that has evolved from over a great many years of use. Like the human race, language grows and changes alongside us and the world we have created. After all, it is a tool for communicating things around us, so it is only natural that the way in which it does changes with that environment.

harper

12-01-2005, 05:03 AM

To some English seems easy, but in honesty, 100% perfect punctuation, grammar, and sometimes spelling is very difficult. In everyday life, we don't speak in a structured manner nor do we pause in mid-sentence, even when a written version of our speech has a comma. Even right now I have to freaken proof-read so that it looks "correct" when I submit it; a total pain in the ass.

I teach high school (math not english, but still) and I am appalled by the poor quality of writing exhibited by many of my students. These are students who are native English speakers for the most part. Their writing is atrocious and unfortunately, their math skills aren't much better. There are always exceptions, though. I think many of them don't care enough to make the effort to improve their skills.

Komachi Angel

12-01-2005, 05:34 AM

>Harper

I agree.

Zavyyn

12-01-2005, 03:55 PM

My favorite thing about English is that even if you get half the words out of order, it's okay, you just either sound like you're 400 years off with the grammar, or like you're doing a poetry jam.

And really, a language Germanic in base but with a strong infusion of French, which borrows heavily from Greek and Latin for many roots... It's like the ultimate Western European language.

Also, English allows for words like "fantabulous", "ginormous", and "Double Bacon Cheeseburger".

I haven't eaten yet today :(

Fermented Yeast Paste

12-01-2005, 05:02 PM

You didn't write this yourself, did you? I've seen it before. Very funny, nonetheless.
Nah, the "essay" is actually fairly old as far as I know (in Internet years :>). Here's a link to it in its entirety:
http://depts.gallaudet.edu/englishworks/writing/engcrazy.html Very funny, at least when I first read it. :)

Also, since I'm American, English is my native language. Ergo, it is the greatest language in the world and everyone else should learn it.

Henjin

12-01-2005, 05:07 PM

Neither apple nor pine in pineapple,

Learning Japanese, I called pineapples 「松りんご」... *shrug*

It's pretty obvious why they're called that, though. They look like a cross between a pine cone and an apple.

Ender at Eros

12-01-2005, 05:32 PM

Actually, I know a few people who took English as a second or third language and they say it was deadset easy to learn and become fluent in.

I wish I had a foreigner's point of view, it'd be cool as to see if English is a hard language to learn or not.

most of my friends who are japanese think english is a hard language to learn.... but some of them 33% think it was really easy

majikku taremaku

12-01-2005, 07:18 PM

What's your 1st language, NERD?

I think English must be difficult to learn. Especially with so many different variations and accents! My dad has a really strong NYC accent, which is really different than the southern accents around here, which is different than Loc's England accent or Jay's Australian accent. . .Even people speaking the exact same language sometimes have problems understanding each other! Geez!

yeah I've grown up here in north carolina and when someone starts talking to me with that accent I normaly have a hard time understanding what their saying. But I can sorta understand the people in my family with an accent.But it took me some time. I'm glad I don't have a southern accent that would suck ass

dzee

12-01-2005, 07:53 PM

My favorite thing about English is that even if you get half the words out of order, it's okay, you just either sound like you're 400 years off with the grammar, or like you're doing a poetry jam.
one reason why i always do poetry instead of prose, when told to fill an assignment :p it's just easier to say you mucked it up intentionally.

Monkey

12-01-2005, 08:18 PM

yeah I've grown up here in north carolina and when someone starts talking to me with that accent I normaly have a hard time understanding what their saying. But I can sorta understand the people in my family with an accent.But it took me some time. I'm glad I don't have a southern accent that would suck ass

Want a hard accent? Try a scottish one, it's barely even english...

anver

12-01-2005, 09:09 PM

I started learning English as a second language when i was nine or ten, my first one is German. I never had difficulties with it, and today I even prefer it to German, especially because most translations/dubs are horrific.

NERD

12-01-2005, 10:42 PM

What's your 1st language, NERD?

Korean. It's funny, because as a wee lad born in America, English was my first language, and I couldn't speak Korean except for few words until I got transplanted to Korea.

The problem I have with English is weird enunciation- I have an accent, though not of the usual Asian accent variety. I contribute that to being exposed to diverse accents when I was learning English, as I took Spanish at the same time, living in Georgia, then moving to California for college. Oh, and I can barely speak any Spanish now. Guess I'm not a genius... :confused:

Durandle

12-02-2005, 02:04 AM

I've always thought it odd that Americans say they speak English. English people speak English, Americans speak American, which is almost a language in its self. A friend of mine came to visit from the US and every other sentance I had to explain a word or meaning. Then again, maybe it was just the part of America she came from...

Heres an interesting thing then, English is one of the only languages you can shuffle the spelling of words around but still read... example :

---
Tihs is an epmaxle of waht I maen. Gnealrely, if yuo laeve teh frsit and lsat letetr in pacle, it sitll mkeas snsee.
---

As long as you dont try to think about it too much your mind reads the pattern of letters and you still see the word. Many other language lose all meaning if you tried the same thing, especially those not based on the roman alphabet.

CNagy

12-02-2005, 02:16 AM

It's not that English and "American" are all that different, it is just that when you compare slang terms and synonyms you are bound to run into trouble. English is a really great language, though, because it is a blend of Anglo-Saxon, where all of our short words come from, and Latin/French, where most of our long and proper words come from. Think it over, every crude word in the english language is one or two syllables, and their proper equivalent tends to be 3 syllables or longer (as well as being removed from the stigma of the cruder words usage.)

Frankey-eh

12-02-2005, 02:18 AM

Tihs is an epmaxle of waht I maen. Gnealrely, if yuo laeve teh frsit and lsat letetr in pacle, it sitll mkeas snsee.
This seems like a proof that when we look at things, we don't really SEE it, but just recognize the general shape and tries to match it with something from our memory. Like if I flash a picture of a bicycle in front of you eyes for a brief second, your mind might not have enough time to register what color the bicycle was, but you somehow know it was a bicycle because your brain takes the general shape and tries to match it with something similar that's already stored in your memory.

This is also the reason why I can recognize a lot more kanji than I can write. It's also the reason why I can figure out the spelling of the words just by looking at it, and figuring out whether it looks "right" or not. This is also the reason why I tend to forget details like what my brother was wearing today. I see him so much that my eyes just register his general outline and not the details.

I'm sure other people experience these too. For example, have you ever been in a situation where you suddenly loses someone in the crowd, and you try to find them by the color of their shirt, but it takes a while for you to remember what they were wearing?

Roxie

12-02-2005, 06:11 AM

I really wish they would make learning phonics in schools a requirement.
It makes reading, understanding, and writting English soooo much eaiser.

Collapse

12-02-2005, 09:25 AM

Funny. Philippine teachers teach kids English as young as Nursery. Nevertheless, it IS quite hard and I often find myself at fault in terms of verbal and written communication. Bah, since taking University English, I had to watch out for errors in my words and thanks to quite a lot of participles and rules to abide to, I'm pretty much a student at the matter.

Yet it's what Akitaka said. The bastard son of Latin is quite challenging since the father itself had shitloads of declensions and the like. I'm just happy I studied English because Filipino is quite hard too considering the double-meanings and more.

decswxaqz

12-02-2005, 09:26 AM

Tihs is an epmaxle of waht I maen. Gnealrely, if yuo laeve teh frsit and lsat letetr in pacle, it sitll mkeas snsee.

Found this somewhere, quite old now I think
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the
Olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thohgut slpeling
was ipmoratnt.

I wonder what other languages you can do this in?

Ichisan

12-02-2005, 11:57 AM

The thing with English was, I could figure out how to read a word, but would have absolutely no idea what it meant. This was different from Chinese and Japanese, where I would HAVE to know what the word meant in order to pronounce it. And so, because I could pronounce it, I thought I knew what the words meant, and I was too lazy to look them up on the dictionary.

That's interesting. For me that's a big part of what makes reading Japanese or Chinese difficult - that you have to learn so many different characters.

There's an underlying regularity and logic to English, as there is in every language, which is not quite as clearly manifested in its surface features as in many - most? - other languages. If you really think rules can easily be ignored in English you ought to try to make sense of some of the stuff Japanese students come out with. Sure, native speakers break the rules and make mistakes but the kinds of mistakes they make and don't make are very different.

atomiton

12-02-2005, 10:00 PM

Found this somewhere, quite old now I think

I wonder what other languages you can do this in?

if your brain stopped to actually read each word, reading a novel would be very tedious.

It's like the following sentence read aloud:

The rain in
in Spain stays mainly on
on the plane.

At first glance you don't even notice the error. But your brain not only looks at patterns of letters and compares them to memorized pictures, it looks at patterns of words too... and anticipates the next word, oftentimes.