JudoPorkChop
08-17-2005, 06:34 PM
You've heard something that didn't quite jive before, right? Telling people to go find things or do things that are just plain impossible, blatantly mis-interpreting what is said, and preying on the new is one of the most hilarious sources of amusement the military can ever cook up.
I used to be in Aircraft Avionics. Flightline people are badbadbadbadBAD about doing some shit to you if you aren't paying attention. Lemme see... Quickest way to get rid of a dumbass? Tell them to go bring you the keys to the plane. That didn't work? How about finding 25 feet of flightline? Or perhaps two gallons of blinker fluid? Oh, but the best one is the 'echo check'.
Get a ladder, put it at engine intake, and have the victim climb it. Tell them you're testing the airflow from intake to exhaust, and you need to hear their voice echo through the pipes. Start with talking, and be sure to tell them that they're not loud enough. Continue until they're shouting into the intake of the engine. be sure to add a "huh?" or a "I can't hear you!" in there. Golden.
As for less specific shenanigans? I sent an airman to Personnel to get issued his "USAF form ID 10 T" card. I'd tell you to write it, but ID10T should get the point across nicely. Happens all the time.
In the Military Clothing shop, you can pay $2 for any name to be sewn on to a uniform. After a while I had to turn them in, but General Jaquass, Major Boredom, Airman Special and Captain Obvious all had their shots at glory. (Note that at some bases, you can no longer do this, because of such abuses.) Other Clothing shop fun includes altering ranks to make such things as Chief Master Airman possible. Unfortunately, attaining the rank of Chief Master Airman means you get to clean the really important toilets. And don't forget to salute the floater.
After going through BMT, you'll get real sensitive to a rhythmic clicking sound. Because TI's wear metal plates on their heels, and *click* *click* after a while in BMT will set off the "OH SHIT SON!" alarm. Now, being issued a TI hat is a great honor indeed, not too many people are up to the challenge of actually training our troops. But old TI's sell their spare hats without even thinking too much of it. and you can buy drill "taps" for your boots. In Tech School, this is just priceless to do to new people, as they've just begun to relax, and accept that BMT is over. To see that horror register when they hear that familiar *click*, spot the hat, and to see some of them damn near flee? Hilarious. But, you gotta break the fear of the hat sometime.
Tech School is where mindlessness will get you in trouble. Just doing what you're told isn't the brightest idea. Passing around the rumor that Mandatory Mattress Exchange is at 0330 and all mattresses should be stacked in the lobby is great, especially when people actually begin doing it.
But beware, for every scam pulled, one is waiting to be, every joke made is a punchline in the waiting. Don't end up being the one who has to find a can of muffler bearings in 30w.
I used to be in Aircraft Avionics. Flightline people are badbadbadbadBAD about doing some shit to you if you aren't paying attention. Lemme see... Quickest way to get rid of a dumbass? Tell them to go bring you the keys to the plane. That didn't work? How about finding 25 feet of flightline? Or perhaps two gallons of blinker fluid? Oh, but the best one is the 'echo check'.
Get a ladder, put it at engine intake, and have the victim climb it. Tell them you're testing the airflow from intake to exhaust, and you need to hear their voice echo through the pipes. Start with talking, and be sure to tell them that they're not loud enough. Continue until they're shouting into the intake of the engine. be sure to add a "huh?" or a "I can't hear you!" in there. Golden.
As for less specific shenanigans? I sent an airman to Personnel to get issued his "USAF form ID 10 T" card. I'd tell you to write it, but ID10T should get the point across nicely. Happens all the time.
In the Military Clothing shop, you can pay $2 for any name to be sewn on to a uniform. After a while I had to turn them in, but General Jaquass, Major Boredom, Airman Special and Captain Obvious all had their shots at glory. (Note that at some bases, you can no longer do this, because of such abuses.) Other Clothing shop fun includes altering ranks to make such things as Chief Master Airman possible. Unfortunately, attaining the rank of Chief Master Airman means you get to clean the really important toilets. And don't forget to salute the floater.
After going through BMT, you'll get real sensitive to a rhythmic clicking sound. Because TI's wear metal plates on their heels, and *click* *click* after a while in BMT will set off the "OH SHIT SON!" alarm. Now, being issued a TI hat is a great honor indeed, not too many people are up to the challenge of actually training our troops. But old TI's sell their spare hats without even thinking too much of it. and you can buy drill "taps" for your boots. In Tech School, this is just priceless to do to new people, as they've just begun to relax, and accept that BMT is over. To see that horror register when they hear that familiar *click*, spot the hat, and to see some of them damn near flee? Hilarious. But, you gotta break the fear of the hat sometime.
Tech School is where mindlessness will get you in trouble. Just doing what you're told isn't the brightest idea. Passing around the rumor that Mandatory Mattress Exchange is at 0330 and all mattresses should be stacked in the lobby is great, especially when people actually begin doing it.
But beware, for every scam pulled, one is waiting to be, every joke made is a punchline in the waiting. Don't end up being the one who has to find a can of muffler bearings in 30w.