Alternate income sources...

[stillbornsinger]

I lived briefly in California and noticed in the back of several magazines ads seeking recruitment of males around my age group to star in adult films. A lot has happened since then and in the near future I will be moving from Japan back to California.

I've been thinking a little bit about this, and would really like to hear a females opinion on the matter (or possibly males with experience)...

What would you think if you met a guy and hit things off with him, but then after a few dates he disclosed that he had at one time or another been involved in the porn industry in one or several films?

Would that be a serious detractor of points, or possibly add a few in his favor?

Would you consider such a guy as undatable/marraige material?

The main benifits I could see from participating in such an endeaver would be the money, the experience and being able to cross it off of my list of things to do before I die, and perhaps the bragging rights.

I can see many downsides to a choice like that though.

So what do you think?

(serious discussion only please, I would prefer this did not degenerate into padded wall's material)

[Benaire]

Let me ask you something if a women you met and dated told you she was doing the same thing would you look at her in a different light? How would you feel?

[stillbornsinger]

Excellent question, I'm not quite sure how I would react. I suppose it would be effected greatly though by her overall attitude and how she presenter herself. There would be a bit of a cool factor to it, but then again also concern for my sexual health if I were to get involved with her.

(perhaps I'd have to download the video before making a final decision :D )

On that note, a female friend of mine from highschool popped up in a series of porns a little while after we graduated. There were some very interesting pictures of her circulating among graduates of my highschool. Haven't seen or talked to her since though.

[No_]

Dump him in a heartbeat...
Personally, I wouldn't want to date someone that thinks its ok to have sex with someone you dont care about. And when money is involved, it's even worse...
And if it get serious... what would you feel if you found a movie of him fucking someone else?
Would you say "oh honey, lets watch it together!"? ;)

[akitaka]

In a zero-tolerance mindset, I'd agree with the above poster.

However, reasoning with present > past, you would best do your judgement on how he acts now; if he's a little shadey (admitting this after your relationship, maybe out of fear), uneasy, or overconfident, etc. then I'd just keep going for a little without getting too commited. In the end it really depends on your taste, though. Don't drop the ball just yet; a lot of people have something in the past that turns out ugly, but this is just one of those things that really depends on the couple.

[Beebs]

It would seriously depend on their attitude towards it. If, as a guy, my girlfriend dropped this kind of bombshell on the relationship, everything would come to a grinding halt until the following was hammered out:

1. Would she ever do it again?
This really depends on your stance on pornagraphy. I am a Christian and I disagree with it. I am also a realist and I freely admit I indulge in it more than I should and will probably fail at avoiding it many more times to come. If "Yes" was her answer, then the relationship would end there. If she says, "No", then I couldn't care less and would be elated at having a professional of sorts to be my "sex sensei". :D

If you're indifferent about porno and she says "Yes", then it's simply a matter of, "do you want to have sex with someone who has sex with other strangers for money?". If you can deal with that, then that hurdle is passed.

2. What health problems (if any) does she have?
This would depend on what stage the relationship is at. If we just started going out (first couple of dates) and she adds to the bombshell she has HIV or she cannot have children due to histerectomy (or whatnot), then I doubt I would keep it going/let it become anything serious.

A more serious relationship would depend on how much you love her and what your plans are for children. It's really a case-by-case situation, but obviously the further along you are with her the harder the choice will be. If a woman I truly love and whom I've contemplated marriage with drops the bomb at that point in time, I can see myself continuing the relationship into marriage (providing the other essential criteria have been met).

3. Is she able to forgive and forget herself for it (if she answered "No" to the first question)?
I consider myself a forgiving person (most times) and if I can muster the maturity to look past this, then I would expect it from her as well. If she can't handle me touching her because of guilt or whatnot, then those issues need to be worked out before any kind of serious relationship forms/continues. Of couse she may have bad days, but as long as she's not breaking into tears everytime I touch her then I wouldn't consider it a huge problem.

[Sedated]

From what I have always heard the guy makes almost nothing from it, while the girls in it are always the well paid ones. It may just be one of those rumors but someone also said that guys sometimes have to pay a little to be in their first one or two. I personally wouldn't be able to do it. Even acting in one, you know that the person you're doing all of that stuff with has been with TONS of other people. It's ultimately up to you. I personally could not bring myself to do it. One thought about where that girl might have been, and no amount of viagra would bring me back from the spiral downward to erection oblivion.

[Eleriel]

Dump him in a heartbeat...
Personally, I wouldn't want to date someone that thinks its ok to have sex with someone you dont care about. And when money is involved, it's even worse...
And if it get serious... what would you feel if you found a movie of him fucking someone else?
Would you say "oh honey, lets watch it together!"? ;)

on the other (or same) hand... swedish porn is sometimes even worse than japanese porn... if I met a girl who had appeared in an american (or other) porn, while there'd be a certain drop in cool/freshness-factor... if she'd been in a swedish porn I'd run like hell. no kidding.

swedish porn suck, and not with style.

[Marblehead]

So long as she clean, I could date (maybe even marry) a woman who was in porn. Considering how many woman you meet at clubs that pretty much do the same thing for free, I don't think it's any cause to judge someone.
However, I don't think I could date her if she still was working in porn. I'm just not that much of a free-thinking guy. I like monogamy. I like to feel special. :D

[hidethedrone]

Me, I for one enjoy strict monogomy...

If a girl hits on my girlfriend I get PISSED! (Granted, I was piss drunk at the time, however, my girlfriend is my girlfriend. Don't hit on her. I don't care who he/she is)

However, a former girlfriend of mine was in porn. It put a strain on my feelings. Esp. since a mutual friend was trying to convince her of doing it again, and her manager was calling her trying to get her some "gigs" I told her I didn't feel comfortable with her doing it.

She cheated on me anyways, and the relationship promptly broke off soon thereafter.

What does this mean?

Porn stars are cheating liers! Don't trust them!

Well maybe not, but still, it's something that you'll have to be really understanding to have to deal with. It is not easy if you do enjoy that feeling of special closeness of intimacy. I for one do not like sharing that feeling at all.

Now to answer the ops question, i think you'll hurt future relationships if you do this. With a future girl or workplace or whatever.

[CorSec]

Ok, I know you don't want a post that belongs in the Room with padded walls, but I am serious here.



For women in porn, they have it easy: just sit there and take it, or make some small motions, and a fake orgasm is fine.

For men, they have to do a lot more, and a fake orgasm is most certainly not sufficent. That, and aside from the initial scenes, the men have to remain erect for the whole shooting, unless they use a body double.

Unless you can orgasm on demand, and remain erect for long periods of time, you are not going to get very rich doing porn as a man.

Again, sorry if this post offended anybody.

[stillbornsinger]

CorSec- I had thought about that before, and it was one of the reasons I thought I could do well in porm... then again, I don't know how I'd perform in that situation.

To everyone else, thanks, I probably won't do it... its just fun to kick around random ideas like that in my head.

The potential downsides to it seem to far outweigh any potential gain, and I'd probably be better off bar tending in my spare time for cash. I'll just stick to home made for now :D

[hidethedrone]

haha! now that's something i can get on board! Bartending. I'm looking for work presently, but EVERY PERSON I tell I'm a bartender, their eyes light up. Female especially. Anyways... good luck there. It's tough really finding a good job. The good ones no one leaves. And the first job you get, be wary, it probably sucks BMW...

[No_]

haha! now that's something i can get on board! Bartending. I'm looking for work presently, but EVERY PERSON I tell I'm a bartender, their eyes light up. Female especially. Anyways... good luck there. It's tough really finding a good job. The good ones no one leaves. And the first job you get, be wary, it probably sucks BMW...
If you work as a bartender all they see you is as an easy lay... :/
I work as a waitress/bartender...
Disgusting drunk men hitting at you all the time...
urk :(

[stillbornsinger]

I've already got a job now, I'm in the military... I don't see future jobs as being difficult to get as I'm in an extremely technical rating. (electronics technician) and I have a lot of skills and experience that are worth a lot in the outside world.

But I'm going from a place where I'm working 18+ hours a day 7 days a week to much much less hours. (and a friggen 400$+ a month drop in pay!!! :mad: )

So yeah, need money to keep up my hobbies.

[unoriginal_cyn]

Disgusting drunk men hitting at you all the time...
urk :(

I hear ya. Most people would think those sorts of things only happen in seedy bars and restaurants, but this happened when I waitressed in a fine dining restaurant.

[stillbornsinger]

I hear ya. Most people would think those sorts of things only happen in seedy bars and restaurants, but this happened when I waitressed in a fine dining restaurant.

I don't think I'd have that problem... since I'm male... then again you never know...

[hidethedrone]

If you want a really good job, work at a gay bar. They tip the best.

[Roxie]

www.craigslist.com

click on the biggest city nearest you and check out the [ETC] section.
Also, the other job listings are pretty good too.

[co_delphi]

I've already got a job now, I'm in the military... I don't see future jobs as being difficult to get as I'm in an extremely technical rating. (electronics technician) and I have a lot of skills and experience that are worth a lot in the outside world.

Word of warning there dude.... When I joined the military I made it a point to choose a MOS that would transfer easily into a civilian position. I chose being a journalist. After military I figured it would at least count for something.... Most civilian jobs looked at it and laughed and when I started to go to school and tried to get my training transferred to college credit and was suprised to find out that 6 months journalist training transferred to 3 credits of PE. Apparently military training doesn't transfer well.

[Pierrot le Fou]

First of all, as was pointed out, the physical demands on men in porn are pretty damned high. Not that it matters if you're getting paid to show up and sacrifice any rights to privacy over your naked body from here until the end of time... Due to the internet, if you make porn, it will be all over the world, and it will never, ever die. Remember that.

As far as what other people would think, I would assume you'd get checked for STDs both before, after, and regularly in between if you were doing porn, and would therefore be clean. Assuming you're clean, don't tell casual dates (unless you think that it will get you laid and that's all you want). There's no reason to.

If you are planning on getting married, that's when you have to tell a woman. That will impact her life if her coworkers or whatnot find out, and so it's rather important to be honest on that point. I don't think it would be a deal-breaker, but God only knows.

If a woman told me she was a porn star, I'd ask her to show me the results of her last STD test, tell her I loved her last movie, and go to town. Errr, if I weren't in a relationship currently that is. I'd also likely never be in such a situation because I like women who ENJOY sex, not who fake enjoyment for a living.

Just my opinion.

[stillbornsinger]

Word of warning there dude.... When I joined the military I made it a point to choose a MOS that would transfer easily into a civilian position. I chose being a journalist. After military I figured it would at least count for something.... Most civilian jobs looked at it and laughed and when I started to go to school and tried to get my training transferred to college credit and was suprised to find out that 6 months journalist training transferred to 3 credits of PE. Apparently military training doesn't transfer well.

I'm pretty sure mine will transfer well, I've got about 60 totall credits so far towards college... depending on what college I pick, less will be accepted but I'll still get something for it. Electronics are electronics anywhere you go... I've found a few colleges that accept a good amount of my military credits.

I can fix just about anything electronic, from system level signal flow to component level repair and everything inbetween. Radar, satallite communications, sonar, whatever.

Once I get out, I intend to try to get a job at a recording studio or possibly open up my own.

(unless you think that it will get you laid and that's all you want)

I don't really like getting laid for the sake of getting laid... I've been in situations before where I didn't at all care about the female and I just didn't get any real enjoyment or satisfaction out of it. Yeah, it feels great, but its not the same as having sex with a girl who I really care for. I think I view sex closer to the way a females does instead of a male. Many of the guys at my work (ship) like to go out and pick up prostitutes on a regular basis, I normally just like to talk to them. They've got some pretty interesting stories and its kinda fascinating hearing about what their lives and situations are really like. Very sad, but then again, that is an entire different topic.

[KKF]

Once I get out, I intend to try to get a job at a recording studio or possibly open up my own.


WARNING WILL ROBISON WARNING!!!

Not to get your hope down on doing this, but if you do work for a recording studio you will have NO life. I have several friends that are in the buisness and some that quit. I only see the ones that quit now. And you can get screwed big time by the record companies. My friend did some work for Macie Grey. (Spelling? The funky haired lady with the super high pitched voice.) He was supposed to get 13k he saw 0 dollars out of it. Also opening your own studio, while seems like a good idea, you will have lots of competition. Either way good luck man. :)

[Psychochink]

I was going to post a whole bunch of information, but then I thought of an easier way to do it.

Edit: Can't remember if direct links to sites like this violates forum rules, so took it down. However - for a frank FAQ on the industry, look up Asia Carrera's Buttkicking Homepage.

FAQ page of one of the industry greats. Just made hotter by the fact that she happens to also be an uber-geek.

[Kass]

Word of warning there dude.... When I joined the military I made it a point to choose a MOS that would transfer easily into a civilian position. I chose being a journalist. After military I figured it would at least count for something.... Most civilian jobs looked at it and laughed and when I started to go to school and tried to get my training transferred to college credit and was suprised to find out that 6 months journalist training transferred to 3 credits of PE. Apparently military training doesn't transfer well.

That was because you picked journalism, not the military. Journalism pays dirt and is worth only slightly more than dirt in the civilian world, unless you're Dan Rather or Katie Couric or so on. I quit the filed a long time ago in favor of being able to afford food. Highly technical/computer training in the military transfers to civilian employment very well.

As for dating a guy who was a porn star, it would depend a lot on the type of porn and whether or not he used protection. Most mainstream porn actors do anymore. I'd worry less about the emotional factors because I don't think porn lessens any enjoyment or emotional connectons, but more about the health risks.

It is a fascinating study really. The women are the ones who make the most money doing it (possibly the only field women can do that) and many turn that success into pretty big business by branching out onto the internet. The web has made a lot of women a lot of money for taking off their clothes.

[stillbornsinger]

WARNING WILL ROBISON WARNING!!!

Not to get your hope down on doing this, but if you do work for a recording studio you will have NO life. I have several friends that are in the buisness and some that quit. I only see the ones that quit now. And you can get screwed big time by the record companies. My friend did some work for Macie Grey. (Spelling? The funky haired lady with the super high pitched voice.) He was supposed to get 13k he saw 0 dollars out of it. Also opening your own studio, while seems like a good idea, you will have lots of competition. Either way good luck man. :)

Thank you for the advice... I've been looking into this for a long time, and I really do fully expect that. I want to do it because I love it though, not really for the money. If I have to work a second job somewhere as an electronics engineer or whatever somewhere then so be it, but I really love music. I'm pretty good at recording as well. I've got a private studio in Japan that I've built piece by piece over the course of the last couple of years. Spending basically every free dollar I've had (and then some) I've released 1 CD of a Japanese classical guitarest, and will be releasing another CD sometime before Christmas of a rap/hiphop album that I did all the beats for and had other people do the rapping (I don't particuarly like that genre of music, but hey its experience and I'll take it!) I've gotten a lot of compliments on my beats from random strangers and play tests that we've done at a few local clubs. One club after convincing them to play a rough draft of a song, asked us who it was and offered 1,500¥ for the CD on the spot. The owner didn't believe that it was us who had made it.

My ultimate goal is I'd like to be a rock star, I know the old saying about starving artist all to well though, and would need sometime to pay for food, clothes, guitars and tours until the right opportunity came along. Working in a studio would give me the most exposure to the people already successfull in the business and while doing something I love.