JudoPorkChop
08-16-2005, 06:18 AM
Okay, remember how I said my family was a military one? Yeah.
So, one day, after a recent run of being broke, cheated on, unemployed, and essentially homeless, I decided to join the military. As a guide to help those considering the military as a career path, I shall include my decision-making process...
Marines- Oh. Hell. No. First on the ground, first IN the ground. Bad-asses through and through, but they get the shitty end of the stick nine and a half times out of ten. Dorms are bad, no privacy, and they sure as shit don't care about you much if you're not an NCO. Easy to get rank, what with the mortality rate being what it is, living long enough to get another stripe is leadership quality enough these days, trust me. For someone who tested in the top 10% of all who took the ASVAB, tech, comm, and avionics jobs are not large in number here.
Army- Um... not quite a strong of a hell no, but still. Hell. No. High rates of deployment, bad quality of life, better than Marines, but still... whoof. Harder to get rank, you actually have to have a semblance of a brain. Tech jobs are a little better, but the high rate of deployement's a killer.
Navy- Ah, now here is a tech heavy branch right here. Good choice of jobs that translate into civilian employment, decent chance of advancement. HUGE downsides being that you're on float for half a year at a time, and if you're not on float, guess what? Non NCO's still live... ON THE FREAKING BOAT. No thank you. Not to mention those sailor whities look like you should be steady swabbin' the deck, thank you.
Air Force- Tech Mecca. Highest test rquirements for entry, jobs transfer into civilian sector nicely, if not, you can go work for the defense contractor themselves. Quality of life is freaking excellent, Dorm rooms are normally solitary, if not shared with only one other person. Not this five people to a room crap (looking at you, ARMY,.), or curtained shelf (Navy), or open bay barracks (Marines). Relatively low deployment rate (Ha! Stay out of avionics, they ALWAYS deploy.), much harder to get rank, because you must, and I mean MUST know your job.
So, I turn to the parents, and ask them what I should expect. Naturally, they first tell me I need to get two things under control: Anthony's Massive Rampaging Ego, and Anthony's Massive Rampaging Need to be a Smartass. These things will get me killed. If not by the TI directly, then by my flight, because they will have to push the ground below sea level.
Here, I must now tell you that everything they warned me about is no longer possible.
A TI can NOT physically strike a trainee. In line with creating a more professional institute, beatings are not allowed. It gets better. TI's are not allowed to curse! Nope. It too, is unprofessional. Those scenes where a guy is doing 3458906735 push-ups in the rain by himself? Not allowed. Maltraining.
So, they can't hit me. They can't curse, and they can't push-up me to death. They were in trouble, lemme tell you.
So, one day, after a recent run of being broke, cheated on, unemployed, and essentially homeless, I decided to join the military. As a guide to help those considering the military as a career path, I shall include my decision-making process...
Marines- Oh. Hell. No. First on the ground, first IN the ground. Bad-asses through and through, but they get the shitty end of the stick nine and a half times out of ten. Dorms are bad, no privacy, and they sure as shit don't care about you much if you're not an NCO. Easy to get rank, what with the mortality rate being what it is, living long enough to get another stripe is leadership quality enough these days, trust me. For someone who tested in the top 10% of all who took the ASVAB, tech, comm, and avionics jobs are not large in number here.
Army- Um... not quite a strong of a hell no, but still. Hell. No. High rates of deployment, bad quality of life, better than Marines, but still... whoof. Harder to get rank, you actually have to have a semblance of a brain. Tech jobs are a little better, but the high rate of deployement's a killer.
Navy- Ah, now here is a tech heavy branch right here. Good choice of jobs that translate into civilian employment, decent chance of advancement. HUGE downsides being that you're on float for half a year at a time, and if you're not on float, guess what? Non NCO's still live... ON THE FREAKING BOAT. No thank you. Not to mention those sailor whities look like you should be steady swabbin' the deck, thank you.
Air Force- Tech Mecca. Highest test rquirements for entry, jobs transfer into civilian sector nicely, if not, you can go work for the defense contractor themselves. Quality of life is freaking excellent, Dorm rooms are normally solitary, if not shared with only one other person. Not this five people to a room crap (looking at you, ARMY,.), or curtained shelf (Navy), or open bay barracks (Marines). Relatively low deployment rate (Ha! Stay out of avionics, they ALWAYS deploy.), much harder to get rank, because you must, and I mean MUST know your job.
So, I turn to the parents, and ask them what I should expect. Naturally, they first tell me I need to get two things under control: Anthony's Massive Rampaging Ego, and Anthony's Massive Rampaging Need to be a Smartass. These things will get me killed. If not by the TI directly, then by my flight, because they will have to push the ground below sea level.
Here, I must now tell you that everything they warned me about is no longer possible.
A TI can NOT physically strike a trainee. In line with creating a more professional institute, beatings are not allowed. It gets better. TI's are not allowed to curse! Nope. It too, is unprofessional. Those scenes where a guy is doing 3458906735 push-ups in the rain by himself? Not allowed. Maltraining.
So, they can't hit me. They can't curse, and they can't push-up me to death. They were in trouble, lemme tell you.