Wizdom
10-27-2005, 01:15 AM
Aint That a Bitch pt 12
Because my homie Fujin, e-sister Shamu ,e-grand-daughter ShyLilSweety, e-sister Van, Brutha Mushu, Brutha Jay and my Dog Idlethought wants it, here's another ATAB story.
Whew!…. the list is getting long
*Disclaimer: this may contain explicit material that may be un-appropriate for some people.
Enlighten of newly transpiring events, I am moved to tell the story of the last days of being a playa.
The end of a playa
As I said I am know longer a playa. Truth be told, I didn’t get much attention from girls while I was in high school. I mean I knew I wasn’t ugly ugly, but I also knew that I wasn’t LL Cool J. Although my mom said I was handsome, but every mom thinks her donkey kid is beautiful. Anyway I didn’t start to get real attention until college. I mean when a girl tackles you in the hallway and ask you for you number you start to get the hint.
So now that I was getting attention, I quickly tried to makeup for lost time. Id sneak into girl’s dorms after-hours to try to Mack to them and I’d do all kinds of outlandish shit to try to hook up with them. One of the first girls I hooked up with was this much older upperclassman. And she “turned me out!!”” not in the homosexual way, but in the freaky way. I learned the karma sutra, how to eat a girl out, and 12 ways to make a girl orgasm 26 times in 4 hours. By the time she was done with me I was a self proclaimed masta of the bed!.
(see ATAB pt 4)
But the key word is “when she was done with me” this would be a key theme in my romantic life. Whenever a playa is done with the person, (weather they lose interests or anything) they will drop them like a bad habit and move on to the next one.
In the beginning I was the one being dropped, then when I started to learn the game I started dropping them. Because hey this is college and hey I’m young, and hey I don’t give a fuck.
Then I started Dj-ing, doing radio, doing parties, and I was starting to get really popular. I had to turn down NahNi, more times then I care to remember.
In the peak of my playa days, Mannnn!! I would have girl’s do my laundry, buy me clothes and cook me food. One girl for my birthday sent me a Maxium magazine with her thongs wrapped around it with a note saying come see her for the rest of my present. And the ill thing about it was that I wasn’t a hoe, hooking up with random girls. I would always find the hottest girl that no one could get to and id Mack it to her and I would eventually get her.
But it gets old and you grow up. Well if your man enough to grow up. I quickly realize that all the ill shit that I was doing was going to come back to bite me one day. So I gave it up. I did some soul searching and realize that I had done some really foul shit and I apologized to some females who I fucked over. But the damage was done and karma was ready to fuck me in the ass!
So for the next few years, no mater how good I was and how righteously I was living. I would get fucked.
Exhibit A) there was this girl I liked. So I took her out on a date. Instead of being a grimy dude and taking back to my crib and try to get in her pants. I was being a good guy doing all the right things I took things slow and was a gentleman.
We had the most amazing dates. I would pick her up at noon. Take her to the park; sit on the swings and talk. Then we would go to the bowling alley, next to Olive garden then to the movies. After that we would get a snack and I would take her to the beach. By this time it was dark and we would walk along the beach holding hands looking at the stars. This was all in one day mind you and we had many dates like that. Then she dogs me out and says she had a great time with me and I’m a good person and all but I’m too good for her.
I was like damn that’s the lines I used to use back in the day. Karma was definitely coming back to bite and bite hard! In short I got played.
This sort of thing continued for the next set of women. I was kool and I was great and fun to be with but at the end off the day. I wasn’t for them.
If I was a angry and spiteful guy I would say something to the sort of “girls only like mean evil dudes who treat them like shit” but I know that’s not the case.
If you do evil shit. Evil shit will come back to you.
So that’s pretty much it. I’m a reformed playa looking for a good girl in a world of pimps, Macks, playas, ballas, thugs, hoes, tramps and gold-diggers. They are out there but its damn near hard to find.
Now I know most of you will be disappointed in this edition so ill add a funny story to smooth it over.
The ramp
When I was a kid, we would actually play outside. You know Hide-n-go-seek, kickball, skateboarding, sledding, slip and slide, running around with sticks acting like a ninja turtle. Kids these days don’t even play outside. I once asked this 7 year old kid if he ever jumped ramps on his bike and he looked at me like I gave him a Algebra problem. He had no clue.
Well we jumped ramps on our bikes all the time and it was the best fun. There is nothing better than coming down a hill doing about 60 miles per hour (well it felt that fast when you’re a kid) then hitting a ramp and catching 3 seconds of air. I know it might not seem fun to some of you youngins but to us it meant the world.
One day we got like three cinderblocks together and some wood and made the mother of all ramps. It was 4 feet long and damn near 3 feet high. After we built it we just sat in awe of its magnificent presence and marveled at out ghetto engineering. Then in unison we all said. ME first!! Now when you make a ramp like this you have to take full advantage of it. So like a pre-historic X-Games we set up judges and a lookout on the bas of a hill to make sure no one ran into oncoming traffic.
My homie Doug was first. He came down the hill faster than a hooker running from a pimp. He hit the ramp and caught at least 5 sec of air and landed on his front wheel. The judges were impressed and gave him an 8.
I was next .I rode down the hill at the speed of a crackead running from the police. I hit the ramp and took my hands off the handlebars in mid air. I barely landed safely and the judges gave me a 9
Ray was next and determined to get a 10 and absolutely flew down the hill. He put his bike in 12 gear and hauled ass. He then pops a wheelie going down the hill. At this point I though, “damn this dude is going to get killed. I mean damn! some shit aint worth dying for”. The then hits the ramp while still doing the wheelie; we were like damn this dude thinks he’s Evil Knievel. Then in mid air his handlebar comes of the bike. Like completely off the bike. He’s holding the handlebars and they are detached from the frame. Thus he lost all steering and braking in mid air. He lands the jump whiles still doing a wheelie. At this point he’s earned a 10 but he’s still going at full speed. We were all like.” Bail out bail out” but he froze up. And rode smack dab into a tree.
It was the funniest thing we ever saw. And we still joke about it. I mean back in the day you might get some bumps and bruises, maybe a broken bone or a chipped tooth. But we loved it and we wore our scares like a badge of honor. Cause we were kids and we thought we were invincible and getting banged up was all apart of having fun.
Because my homie Fujin, e-sister Shamu ,e-grand-daughter ShyLilSweety, e-sister Van, Brutha Mushu, Brutha Jay and my Dog Idlethought wants it, here's another ATAB story.
Whew!…. the list is getting long
*Disclaimer: this may contain explicit material that may be un-appropriate for some people.
Enlighten of newly transpiring events, I am moved to tell the story of the last days of being a playa.
The end of a playa
As I said I am know longer a playa. Truth be told, I didn’t get much attention from girls while I was in high school. I mean I knew I wasn’t ugly ugly, but I also knew that I wasn’t LL Cool J. Although my mom said I was handsome, but every mom thinks her donkey kid is beautiful. Anyway I didn’t start to get real attention until college. I mean when a girl tackles you in the hallway and ask you for you number you start to get the hint.
So now that I was getting attention, I quickly tried to makeup for lost time. Id sneak into girl’s dorms after-hours to try to Mack to them and I’d do all kinds of outlandish shit to try to hook up with them. One of the first girls I hooked up with was this much older upperclassman. And she “turned me out!!”” not in the homosexual way, but in the freaky way. I learned the karma sutra, how to eat a girl out, and 12 ways to make a girl orgasm 26 times in 4 hours. By the time she was done with me I was a self proclaimed masta of the bed!.
(see ATAB pt 4)
But the key word is “when she was done with me” this would be a key theme in my romantic life. Whenever a playa is done with the person, (weather they lose interests or anything) they will drop them like a bad habit and move on to the next one.
In the beginning I was the one being dropped, then when I started to learn the game I started dropping them. Because hey this is college and hey I’m young, and hey I don’t give a fuck.
Then I started Dj-ing, doing radio, doing parties, and I was starting to get really popular. I had to turn down NahNi, more times then I care to remember.
In the peak of my playa days, Mannnn!! I would have girl’s do my laundry, buy me clothes and cook me food. One girl for my birthday sent me a Maxium magazine with her thongs wrapped around it with a note saying come see her for the rest of my present. And the ill thing about it was that I wasn’t a hoe, hooking up with random girls. I would always find the hottest girl that no one could get to and id Mack it to her and I would eventually get her.
But it gets old and you grow up. Well if your man enough to grow up. I quickly realize that all the ill shit that I was doing was going to come back to bite me one day. So I gave it up. I did some soul searching and realize that I had done some really foul shit and I apologized to some females who I fucked over. But the damage was done and karma was ready to fuck me in the ass!
So for the next few years, no mater how good I was and how righteously I was living. I would get fucked.
Exhibit A) there was this girl I liked. So I took her out on a date. Instead of being a grimy dude and taking back to my crib and try to get in her pants. I was being a good guy doing all the right things I took things slow and was a gentleman.
We had the most amazing dates. I would pick her up at noon. Take her to the park; sit on the swings and talk. Then we would go to the bowling alley, next to Olive garden then to the movies. After that we would get a snack and I would take her to the beach. By this time it was dark and we would walk along the beach holding hands looking at the stars. This was all in one day mind you and we had many dates like that. Then she dogs me out and says she had a great time with me and I’m a good person and all but I’m too good for her.
I was like damn that’s the lines I used to use back in the day. Karma was definitely coming back to bite and bite hard! In short I got played.
This sort of thing continued for the next set of women. I was kool and I was great and fun to be with but at the end off the day. I wasn’t for them.
If I was a angry and spiteful guy I would say something to the sort of “girls only like mean evil dudes who treat them like shit” but I know that’s not the case.
If you do evil shit. Evil shit will come back to you.
So that’s pretty much it. I’m a reformed playa looking for a good girl in a world of pimps, Macks, playas, ballas, thugs, hoes, tramps and gold-diggers. They are out there but its damn near hard to find.
Now I know most of you will be disappointed in this edition so ill add a funny story to smooth it over.
The ramp
When I was a kid, we would actually play outside. You know Hide-n-go-seek, kickball, skateboarding, sledding, slip and slide, running around with sticks acting like a ninja turtle. Kids these days don’t even play outside. I once asked this 7 year old kid if he ever jumped ramps on his bike and he looked at me like I gave him a Algebra problem. He had no clue.
Well we jumped ramps on our bikes all the time and it was the best fun. There is nothing better than coming down a hill doing about 60 miles per hour (well it felt that fast when you’re a kid) then hitting a ramp and catching 3 seconds of air. I know it might not seem fun to some of you youngins but to us it meant the world.
One day we got like three cinderblocks together and some wood and made the mother of all ramps. It was 4 feet long and damn near 3 feet high. After we built it we just sat in awe of its magnificent presence and marveled at out ghetto engineering. Then in unison we all said. ME first!! Now when you make a ramp like this you have to take full advantage of it. So like a pre-historic X-Games we set up judges and a lookout on the bas of a hill to make sure no one ran into oncoming traffic.
My homie Doug was first. He came down the hill faster than a hooker running from a pimp. He hit the ramp and caught at least 5 sec of air and landed on his front wheel. The judges were impressed and gave him an 8.
I was next .I rode down the hill at the speed of a crackead running from the police. I hit the ramp and took my hands off the handlebars in mid air. I barely landed safely and the judges gave me a 9
Ray was next and determined to get a 10 and absolutely flew down the hill. He put his bike in 12 gear and hauled ass. He then pops a wheelie going down the hill. At this point I though, “damn this dude is going to get killed. I mean damn! some shit aint worth dying for”. The then hits the ramp while still doing the wheelie; we were like damn this dude thinks he’s Evil Knievel. Then in mid air his handlebar comes of the bike. Like completely off the bike. He’s holding the handlebars and they are detached from the frame. Thus he lost all steering and braking in mid air. He lands the jump whiles still doing a wheelie. At this point he’s earned a 10 but he’s still going at full speed. We were all like.” Bail out bail out” but he froze up. And rode smack dab into a tree.
It was the funniest thing we ever saw. And we still joke about it. I mean back in the day you might get some bumps and bruises, maybe a broken bone or a chipped tooth. But we loved it and we wore our scares like a badge of honor. Cause we were kids and we thought we were invincible and getting banged up was all apart of having fun.