Wizdom
10-19-2005, 12:18 AM
Aint That a Bitch pt 11
Because my homie Fujin, e-sister Shamu ,e-grand-daughter ShyLilSweety, e-sister Van, Brutha Mushu, lil buddy JAy and my ex ahisma wants it, here's another ATAB story.
Whew!…. the list is getting long
*Disclaimer: this may contain explicit material
Sorry for the long wait between my editorials. I had a huge mental block and I couldn’t think of any more stories from my life that might be funny.
Playa Tip # 5 : Places to pick up women
The Facts: There are few great places to pick up women. Now before everyone says “ the club or the bar” you have to remember that every playa and deadbeat in the world are thinking the same thing. And you have a better chance of sucking your own self then to get a women at a bar or club. The competition is just too hard. Unless you look like The Rock, Talk like a pimp, or dance like Micheal Jackson, your just not going to get any NahNi. Your best bet is to go off the beaten path to uncharted terrirory.
Hot spot 1: Laundromat:
Let me tell you, there are some fine women at the Laundromat. and chances are, they are wearing some skimpy or old cutoff booty shorts because they are washing all their good clothes. Go on a off night like a Wednesday or Friday, and you will be guaranteed to have no competition. Bring 8 dollars in quarters and wait for a damsel in distress. You’ll be on the fast track to a scrub a dub dubbing the man in the boat.
Hot spot 2: The library:
Playas, Pimp, hustlers, ballers and thugs can’t freakin read. You’ll have the pick of the litter, in a library. Bring along the latest Danielle Steel novel or Cambell soup for the soul book, and you’ll have a girl working your soul pole in no time flat.
Hot spot 3: The park:
In order for this hot spot to work at is full potential you need an assist. Like Scotty Pippin to Michael Jordan, you need someone to throw you an alley op to slam-dunk that ass. In this case a puppy or baby works best. Grab your nephew, neighborhood kid or a stay dog and girls will flock to you like fat people to a buffet.
WORST SPOT: Your job:
The absolutely worst place to find women is at your job. Now I know some of you might think that banging your co-worker is a great idea but it isn’t. There is nothing worst than having a ex work where you work. Heres is an example of why not.
The story: It was the summer of 2001. I worked all summer long and saved up enuff money to buy my first car. The first pimp-mobile was in full effect and I was pulling more attention then a hillbilly at a rap concert.
Throughout the summer, there was a girl on my job who kept trying to get at me. Everyday she would ask me “when am I going to get a chance to work your soul pole” and everyday id tell her no. Mainly because she wasn’t my type and her gut was the size of a pumpkin. Plus no man like girls who thrown themselves at us. As much as we hate to admit it we do like a girl who plays hard to get.
One day she came to work a hour late and in her Pajamas no less. Since I was the head lifeguard and in charge of the pool I told my supervisor (who’s head of all the pools in the city) that she came to work ill prepared. I mean how can you rescue some drowning kid if your got full clothes on. My boss told her to go home for the day and she stormed off cursing me out.
As soon as she left I had this strange feeling that she was going to do something vile.
I mean you have this bitter ass girl who gets reject from me everyday then gets sent home by me.
I felt my spidey-sense go off. And I knew that the pimp-mobile was in danger. I ran to my car and there it was. She keyed the shit out of my car. Not only did she scratch (BITCH) into my car door, but in haste she misspelled it. She wrote Bicth. And if they wasn’t bad enuf she scratches it out and re-writes bitch. So my car door looks like this
http://img416.imageshack.us/img416/6222/poordoor8bt.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
So word to the wise don’t mess with chicks at your job! And if she begs for it .. RUN!!
Because my homie Fujin, e-sister Shamu ,e-grand-daughter ShyLilSweety, e-sister Van, Brutha Mushu, lil buddy JAy and my ex ahisma wants it, here's another ATAB story.
Whew!…. the list is getting long
*Disclaimer: this may contain explicit material
Sorry for the long wait between my editorials. I had a huge mental block and I couldn’t think of any more stories from my life that might be funny.
Playa Tip # 5 : Places to pick up women
The Facts: There are few great places to pick up women. Now before everyone says “ the club or the bar” you have to remember that every playa and deadbeat in the world are thinking the same thing. And you have a better chance of sucking your own self then to get a women at a bar or club. The competition is just too hard. Unless you look like The Rock, Talk like a pimp, or dance like Micheal Jackson, your just not going to get any NahNi. Your best bet is to go off the beaten path to uncharted terrirory.
Hot spot 1: Laundromat:
Let me tell you, there are some fine women at the Laundromat. and chances are, they are wearing some skimpy or old cutoff booty shorts because they are washing all their good clothes. Go on a off night like a Wednesday or Friday, and you will be guaranteed to have no competition. Bring 8 dollars in quarters and wait for a damsel in distress. You’ll be on the fast track to a scrub a dub dubbing the man in the boat.
Hot spot 2: The library:
Playas, Pimp, hustlers, ballers and thugs can’t freakin read. You’ll have the pick of the litter, in a library. Bring along the latest Danielle Steel novel or Cambell soup for the soul book, and you’ll have a girl working your soul pole in no time flat.
Hot spot 3: The park:
In order for this hot spot to work at is full potential you need an assist. Like Scotty Pippin to Michael Jordan, you need someone to throw you an alley op to slam-dunk that ass. In this case a puppy or baby works best. Grab your nephew, neighborhood kid or a stay dog and girls will flock to you like fat people to a buffet.
WORST SPOT: Your job:
The absolutely worst place to find women is at your job. Now I know some of you might think that banging your co-worker is a great idea but it isn’t. There is nothing worst than having a ex work where you work. Heres is an example of why not.
The story: It was the summer of 2001. I worked all summer long and saved up enuff money to buy my first car. The first pimp-mobile was in full effect and I was pulling more attention then a hillbilly at a rap concert.
Throughout the summer, there was a girl on my job who kept trying to get at me. Everyday she would ask me “when am I going to get a chance to work your soul pole” and everyday id tell her no. Mainly because she wasn’t my type and her gut was the size of a pumpkin. Plus no man like girls who thrown themselves at us. As much as we hate to admit it we do like a girl who plays hard to get.
One day she came to work a hour late and in her Pajamas no less. Since I was the head lifeguard and in charge of the pool I told my supervisor (who’s head of all the pools in the city) that she came to work ill prepared. I mean how can you rescue some drowning kid if your got full clothes on. My boss told her to go home for the day and she stormed off cursing me out.
As soon as she left I had this strange feeling that she was going to do something vile.
I mean you have this bitter ass girl who gets reject from me everyday then gets sent home by me.
I felt my spidey-sense go off. And I knew that the pimp-mobile was in danger. I ran to my car and there it was. She keyed the shit out of my car. Not only did she scratch (BITCH) into my car door, but in haste she misspelled it. She wrote Bicth. And if they wasn’t bad enuf she scratches it out and re-writes bitch. So my car door looks like this
http://img416.imageshack.us/img416/6222/poordoor8bt.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
So word to the wise don’t mess with chicks at your job! And if she begs for it .. RUN!!