JudoPorkChop
08-15-2005, 08:46 AM
Well, it was summer on Okinawa, and while school ended for us, it was a while before Yuka had a summer break, so most often, I'd go pick her up from school. Nothing to unduly strange about that, right? Except for the fact that she'd know when I showed up, because me, and whoever else I brought with me would get mobbed, and I mean MOBBED. Anyone who came with me got the same. It's not like they never had seen American kids, there's bases all over Okinawa. I never figured it out.
Anyways, on this day, Yuka comes out, all school-girled out, and just all-out plants one one me. Normally, it's a quick hello, and we get outta there. But no. She's all up on me, and while I am NOT complaining about it, my spider sense tingles like mad, until I just go with it. Those familiar with Peter Parker's adventures know that when you ignore the Spidey sense, bad shit happens, and well, bad shit happened.
I get shoved, not too hard, but hard enough to detach us. This boy is standing there, looking at me as if he's channeling Bruce Lee, and I just killed his master, his student, his parents, his little sister and all the monks at the temple at the same time. Now, I did get SCORN! from her male classmates, because, well, she was damn hot, and I, the barbarian, was the apple of her eye. Again, this was not that SCORN! that I was used to deflecting. There was a reason for this. There are only two people who definitely know what reason there is, and one of them apparently wants to kill me. So... in English, because I want to know what's going on without having to think about how to ask it:
"Yuka, is there a reason for this schoolboy to want to kill me? He seems a little pissed."
Yuka looks at him, smiles, and whispers in my ear: "That's Hirokaze. He was my boyfriend before I met you. He's a karate freak, so you might not want to do anything about him. Oh. Great. I'm the guy she dumped him for, and I'm a horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad gaijin to boot?
Pause for historical and personal info.
For those not in the know, Okinawa is home, birthplace, originating location of Shotokan karate. No, there are no fireballs being thrown, no 15 foot vertical uppercut leaps with flaming fists, nothing like that. Pop culture break: Mr. Miyagi is most probably named after Chojun Miyagi, founder of Okinawan Goju-Ryu karate. Also, the kind of training practiced in gyms, rec centers, and strip-mall dojos, is not quite what you will experience over there. You won't get your eye plucked out, but being out of position, off balance, or errors similar in nature will get you put on your ass by some sensei.
Also, I learned how to fight from my mother. Stop laughing. She was an SP, and had extensive knowledge in whoop-ass and putting people down. Or rather, unarmed combat, grappling and restraint methods. She taught me all this stuff when I was skinny, small, and a hard sneeze could break my ribcage. Then puberty hit, and at 14, I was 5' 10" and 190 lbs. Needless to say, she stopped teaching me, as just about nobody would think to shove me into a locker about then. It would have been nice for me to continue the massive growth spurt, but from 15 to now, I've only grown two more inches.
Unpause.
Knowing what I did then, I figured that he was gonna unleash the eight extreme fists of fury upon me, and I don't feel like being around for that. I had only taken sample classes of the various schools I could find, and I, in no way thought I was a bad enough dude to take him. So, I take Yuka's hand and start walking. He follows, calling me a coward, telling me I'm afraid of him, blah, blah, blah. Naturally, the mob now reconstitutes, having found their source of entertainment for the day.
If I didn't have any sort of ego, I'd be just fine. I would think having one's righteous anger just blithely ignored would have sent message enough. Nevermind all this chest-thumping isn't doing anything to win your girl back, she's still walking away. With me. So, I keep strolling along, trying to talk to Yuka, who basically is interested in either going home, or having me guest her on base, whichever one gets Hiro, and the rest of the whole dang school off our heels. While we're hashing out the details, a greyish blur whips through our field of vision, and smashes into the wall a few feet behind us. Glancing over, it seems that he doesn't want to be ignored any longer. So, I stop ignoring him.
"What was that? You almost hit Yuka!"
"No, I almost hit you."
"What?"
"I wasn't aiming for her."
Oh. Holy. Shit. This is not going to be just stepped out of, he wants to fight, and he's determined to make it happen. First, I have to get this off of the streets. Lord knows what he's gonna throw next, and who he might hit if he misses. I spy an ally leading to an empty rear parking lot. "Not here. Over there." He agrees, and Him, I, the mob, and a few interested others follow. I can hear chattering: "Is he gonna beat Mike?" "Are they gonna fight?"
Note: Before Bob Sapp ever laid his first ever beatdown, a 20 year old kid from New York had been dominating the sport of boxing. Yes, I speak of Iron Mike, or The Earbitin' Bastard for you younger folk. So before Bob, the default name for us black guys used to be Mike. Or I think it was, anyways.
We get to the spot, he starts warming up, and when Yuka said I should avoid him, I thought she might be right. You know that scene in Mortal Kombat before Sub-Zero freezes that guy? What with all the punching and kicking? Yeah. I thought I was gonna catch a Hiryu Shoten Ha or something. But, I decide to forego the honorable waiting for him to be ready, and proceed to my preparation for events. I roar. Yes, roar. Arms flailing and everything. I spot the smallest person I can see, quickly whisper a "gomen" as I pick her up and roar in her face while shaking her, and gently tossing her aside. I then full bore charge Hiro, who now looks a little pale. He quickly readies himself, and slings a punch out at me. I stop short, the momentum causes him to lurch forward, bent over. I swing around, grabbing him at the belt and back of his shirt, and lift him over my head. And then, Anthony's Massive Rampaging Ego took hold, and :
"Hihiou (Baboon King) CRUSHER!"
Hiro starts squirming something fierce, but doesn't break my grip. I channel every last wrestling match I had ever seen, and Ultimate Warrior press him over my head, but I don't drop him. Instead, I yell "DOWN!" and bring him down, stumbling at the effort it takes to stop a foot or so from the ground before dropping him.
He's freaked out, and just lays there. I catch my breath, both from the exertion and relief knowing I didn't just atomic slam someone, and start to count, quickly. "Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine, TEN! KO! I win! I win!"
Leaning down, I ask him as best as I can in Japanese to not bother me or Yuka again, and offer to help him up, and he bats away my hand, so I leave him there. There were some 'satsu (Er... keisatsu= Police)that had shown up, but they let me go after Yuka and I explained what had happened. One of them said he knew his sensei and would let him know that he was starting fights, and (I hope) jokingly added "and losing them..."
So, that now settled, we find food. I asked Yuka what was going on, and she says he was bothering her all day about who her boyfriend was, and she said she never bothered answering him, and as they left the school, she saw me, and figured she should at least give me something good for having brought something bad too. I ask her if there's any chance a bunch of really weak ex-boyfriends could show up so I could jump her before they jump me, and she slaps me.
Go fig.
Anyways, on this day, Yuka comes out, all school-girled out, and just all-out plants one one me. Normally, it's a quick hello, and we get outta there. But no. She's all up on me, and while I am NOT complaining about it, my spider sense tingles like mad, until I just go with it. Those familiar with Peter Parker's adventures know that when you ignore the Spidey sense, bad shit happens, and well, bad shit happened.
I get shoved, not too hard, but hard enough to detach us. This boy is standing there, looking at me as if he's channeling Bruce Lee, and I just killed his master, his student, his parents, his little sister and all the monks at the temple at the same time. Now, I did get SCORN! from her male classmates, because, well, she was damn hot, and I, the barbarian, was the apple of her eye. Again, this was not that SCORN! that I was used to deflecting. There was a reason for this. There are only two people who definitely know what reason there is, and one of them apparently wants to kill me. So... in English, because I want to know what's going on without having to think about how to ask it:
"Yuka, is there a reason for this schoolboy to want to kill me? He seems a little pissed."
Yuka looks at him, smiles, and whispers in my ear: "That's Hirokaze. He was my boyfriend before I met you. He's a karate freak, so you might not want to do anything about him. Oh. Great. I'm the guy she dumped him for, and I'm a horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad gaijin to boot?
Pause for historical and personal info.
For those not in the know, Okinawa is home, birthplace, originating location of Shotokan karate. No, there are no fireballs being thrown, no 15 foot vertical uppercut leaps with flaming fists, nothing like that. Pop culture break: Mr. Miyagi is most probably named after Chojun Miyagi, founder of Okinawan Goju-Ryu karate. Also, the kind of training practiced in gyms, rec centers, and strip-mall dojos, is not quite what you will experience over there. You won't get your eye plucked out, but being out of position, off balance, or errors similar in nature will get you put on your ass by some sensei.
Also, I learned how to fight from my mother. Stop laughing. She was an SP, and had extensive knowledge in whoop-ass and putting people down. Or rather, unarmed combat, grappling and restraint methods. She taught me all this stuff when I was skinny, small, and a hard sneeze could break my ribcage. Then puberty hit, and at 14, I was 5' 10" and 190 lbs. Needless to say, she stopped teaching me, as just about nobody would think to shove me into a locker about then. It would have been nice for me to continue the massive growth spurt, but from 15 to now, I've only grown two more inches.
Unpause.
Knowing what I did then, I figured that he was gonna unleash the eight extreme fists of fury upon me, and I don't feel like being around for that. I had only taken sample classes of the various schools I could find, and I, in no way thought I was a bad enough dude to take him. So, I take Yuka's hand and start walking. He follows, calling me a coward, telling me I'm afraid of him, blah, blah, blah. Naturally, the mob now reconstitutes, having found their source of entertainment for the day.
If I didn't have any sort of ego, I'd be just fine. I would think having one's righteous anger just blithely ignored would have sent message enough. Nevermind all this chest-thumping isn't doing anything to win your girl back, she's still walking away. With me. So, I keep strolling along, trying to talk to Yuka, who basically is interested in either going home, or having me guest her on base, whichever one gets Hiro, and the rest of the whole dang school off our heels. While we're hashing out the details, a greyish blur whips through our field of vision, and smashes into the wall a few feet behind us. Glancing over, it seems that he doesn't want to be ignored any longer. So, I stop ignoring him.
"What was that? You almost hit Yuka!"
"No, I almost hit you."
"What?"
"I wasn't aiming for her."
Oh. Holy. Shit. This is not going to be just stepped out of, he wants to fight, and he's determined to make it happen. First, I have to get this off of the streets. Lord knows what he's gonna throw next, and who he might hit if he misses. I spy an ally leading to an empty rear parking lot. "Not here. Over there." He agrees, and Him, I, the mob, and a few interested others follow. I can hear chattering: "Is he gonna beat Mike?" "Are they gonna fight?"
Note: Before Bob Sapp ever laid his first ever beatdown, a 20 year old kid from New York had been dominating the sport of boxing. Yes, I speak of Iron Mike, or The Earbitin' Bastard for you younger folk. So before Bob, the default name for us black guys used to be Mike. Or I think it was, anyways.
We get to the spot, he starts warming up, and when Yuka said I should avoid him, I thought she might be right. You know that scene in Mortal Kombat before Sub-Zero freezes that guy? What with all the punching and kicking? Yeah. I thought I was gonna catch a Hiryu Shoten Ha or something. But, I decide to forego the honorable waiting for him to be ready, and proceed to my preparation for events. I roar. Yes, roar. Arms flailing and everything. I spot the smallest person I can see, quickly whisper a "gomen" as I pick her up and roar in her face while shaking her, and gently tossing her aside. I then full bore charge Hiro, who now looks a little pale. He quickly readies himself, and slings a punch out at me. I stop short, the momentum causes him to lurch forward, bent over. I swing around, grabbing him at the belt and back of his shirt, and lift him over my head. And then, Anthony's Massive Rampaging Ego took hold, and :
"Hihiou (Baboon King) CRUSHER!"
Hiro starts squirming something fierce, but doesn't break my grip. I channel every last wrestling match I had ever seen, and Ultimate Warrior press him over my head, but I don't drop him. Instead, I yell "DOWN!" and bring him down, stumbling at the effort it takes to stop a foot or so from the ground before dropping him.
He's freaked out, and just lays there. I catch my breath, both from the exertion and relief knowing I didn't just atomic slam someone, and start to count, quickly. "Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine, TEN! KO! I win! I win!"
Leaning down, I ask him as best as I can in Japanese to not bother me or Yuka again, and offer to help him up, and he bats away my hand, so I leave him there. There were some 'satsu (Er... keisatsu= Police)that had shown up, but they let me go after Yuka and I explained what had happened. One of them said he knew his sensei and would let him know that he was starting fights, and (I hope) jokingly added "and losing them..."
So, that now settled, we find food. I asked Yuka what was going on, and she says he was bothering her all day about who her boyfriend was, and she said she never bothered answering him, and as they left the school, she saw me, and figured she should at least give me something good for having brought something bad too. I ask her if there's any chance a bunch of really weak ex-boyfriends could show up so I could jump her before they jump me, and she slaps me.
Go fig.