co_delphi
10-07-2005, 09:18 AM
I am the type of guy who will try many different things and only afterward, learn from my error. Because of the nature of some of these things I feel the need to warn you that they do fit within categories that might otherwise be considered odd or distateful, but they do have value none the less.
In the interest of light hearted people I will list them from best t oworst.
1. I have learned early on that dental work is not cheap. Also scheduling a visit to the dentist rarely meets the level of urgency you feel. At one point a filling of mine fell out and the soonest I could get into my dentist was 2 weeks from then. Every local grocery store sells temporary filling material but it breaks down quickly and is essentially useless. Seeking a more durable of substance I went to Home Depot and meticulously went through the putty compounds looking for something that would serve it's purpose, not look hideous, and be non-toxic. After about 30 minutes of looking I found it. Pool Epoxy. This comes in a dual layered stick. You tear off a chunk, knead it and then you have roughly 3 minutes to apply it before it hardens. It is non-toxic, waterproof, and is white in color so it blends in even if the temporary filling is in your front teeth. The only warning is that it is a somewhat porous material and it is a good idea to replace every so often until you can get to the dentist.
2. I believe this next one only applies to men but I give it anyway. As a male there are certain appendages you get that women don't have and for the most part it would appear that there are no instruction manuals to the proper usage of them and is left purely to yourself to learn as you go. One problem I had been faced with on a number of occasions was the phantom piss spot. This being that after peeing, you could shake, squeeze and any number of other things to the point that you believe there is simply no more to come out, but once you zip your pants up you notice a quarter sized piss spot appear on the front of your trousers. Well for your information I think I found the cure. After peeing depress on the area between your balls and your asshole and it would appear that this s where the extra fluid resides. when depressed it empties out and you are free from embarrassment once you zip up.
3. I am a skinny bastard. I am 4% body fat and you can see my veins without me flexing. Now where most people would find no problem with this I have found something very bad...... apparently this makes the job of blood sucking insects much easier and marks me as a all you can eat diner. With my roommates cat I learned this really quickly after pulling a average of 30 fleas off my legs a day. In a attempt to rid myself of these I did some exhaustive searching on the internet for a easy cure. Interestingly enough it would appear garlic is a deterent for blood sucking insects. So I went out and bought some garlic, but then realized I'd have to cook something and put it in with it. Well I am not a cook, so I bypassed cooking and instead swallowed whole cloves of garlic. By doing this I learned some very strange facts. Apparently the acid within your stomach is the most corosive acid available. Only thing is Garlic must be immune to it because the whole cloves seem to have survived the digestion process. Now although the idea of having whole garlic cloves coursing through your body, it would appear to have a advantage as well, Every fart from then on instead of the raunchy methane smell instead had a cooked garlic smell. So if you have bad gas this is at least a way to cure the smell...... although it is still hard to explain why people suddenly start smelling garlic.
In the interest of light hearted people I will list them from best t oworst.
1. I have learned early on that dental work is not cheap. Also scheduling a visit to the dentist rarely meets the level of urgency you feel. At one point a filling of mine fell out and the soonest I could get into my dentist was 2 weeks from then. Every local grocery store sells temporary filling material but it breaks down quickly and is essentially useless. Seeking a more durable of substance I went to Home Depot and meticulously went through the putty compounds looking for something that would serve it's purpose, not look hideous, and be non-toxic. After about 30 minutes of looking I found it. Pool Epoxy. This comes in a dual layered stick. You tear off a chunk, knead it and then you have roughly 3 minutes to apply it before it hardens. It is non-toxic, waterproof, and is white in color so it blends in even if the temporary filling is in your front teeth. The only warning is that it is a somewhat porous material and it is a good idea to replace every so often until you can get to the dentist.
2. I believe this next one only applies to men but I give it anyway. As a male there are certain appendages you get that women don't have and for the most part it would appear that there are no instruction manuals to the proper usage of them and is left purely to yourself to learn as you go. One problem I had been faced with on a number of occasions was the phantom piss spot. This being that after peeing, you could shake, squeeze and any number of other things to the point that you believe there is simply no more to come out, but once you zip your pants up you notice a quarter sized piss spot appear on the front of your trousers. Well for your information I think I found the cure. After peeing depress on the area between your balls and your asshole and it would appear that this s where the extra fluid resides. when depressed it empties out and you are free from embarrassment once you zip up.
3. I am a skinny bastard. I am 4% body fat and you can see my veins without me flexing. Now where most people would find no problem with this I have found something very bad...... apparently this makes the job of blood sucking insects much easier and marks me as a all you can eat diner. With my roommates cat I learned this really quickly after pulling a average of 30 fleas off my legs a day. In a attempt to rid myself of these I did some exhaustive searching on the internet for a easy cure. Interestingly enough it would appear garlic is a deterent for blood sucking insects. So I went out and bought some garlic, but then realized I'd have to cook something and put it in with it. Well I am not a cook, so I bypassed cooking and instead swallowed whole cloves of garlic. By doing this I learned some very strange facts. Apparently the acid within your stomach is the most corosive acid available. Only thing is Garlic must be immune to it because the whole cloves seem to have survived the digestion process. Now although the idea of having whole garlic cloves coursing through your body, it would appear to have a advantage as well, Every fart from then on instead of the raunchy methane smell instead had a cooked garlic smell. So if you have bad gas this is at least a way to cure the smell...... although it is still hard to explain why people suddenly start smelling garlic.